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[00:00:01.100 – 00:00:01.700] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:01.700 – 00:00:02.510] Hi.

[00:00:02.510 – 00:00:08.100] If I appear a little nervous, it’s because that I really am.

[00:00:08.100 – 00:00:18.100] I am Gene Harbor, and I’m an alcoholic, and it’s truly by the grace of God, because

[00:00:18.100 – 00:00:28.120] the program of Alcoholics Anonymous worked in my life one day at a time, whole bunch of help from people like you and others like you, I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink today.

[00:00:28.120 – 00:00:34.680] Neither have I since October the 23rd, 1965, and for this I’m grateful.

[00:00:34.680 – 00:00:40.220] I know that this is no record, but it’s the best I’ve ever managed to do in my life.

[00:00:40.220 – 00:00:51.880] I would like to take this opportunity to thank the South Central Group for

[00:00:51.880 – 00:00:58.740] selecting me to be or represent them as the emcee for the evening.

[00:00:58.740 – 00:01:00.230] Thank you very much, friends.

[00:01:00.230 – 00:01:10.300] Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may

[00:01:10.300 – 00:01:13.500] solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

[00:01:13.500 – 00:01:17.580] The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

[00:01:17.580 – 00:01:21.040] There are no dues or fees for AA membership.

[00:01:21.040 – 00:01:23.740] We are self-supporting through our own contributions.

[00:01:23.740 – 00:01:29.680] AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution.

[00:01:29.680 – 00:01:36.420] Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes.

[00:01:36.420 – 00:01:41.320] Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

[00:01:41.320 – 00:01:51.420] A short time ago, about three days ago,

[00:01:51.420 – 00:01:55.620] I received a letter from Clark, and I’m glad my wife read it.

[00:01:55.620 – 00:02:05.790] It said, “Please not to exceed five minutes in your introduction,” and I thought it said, “Leave the speaker

[00:02:05.790 – 00:02:16.260] five minutes.” Uh, I don’t think that this would work quite well, so I’m grateful to my wife for calling this to my attention.

[00:02:16.260 – 00:02:23.340] I met this young man on my left about three months ago in Duncan, Oklahoma.

[00:02:23.340 – 00:02:28.040] He was our guest speaker at a intra-city meeting.

[00:02:28.040 – 00:02:36.420] He impressed me very much, and I was real grateful to have been in the audience and listened to him.

[00:02:36.420 – 00:02:44.100] I think the speaker committee made a real good choice in having him here with us tonight.

[00:02:44.100 – 00:02:52.620] I guess this is the part in the program where I’m supposed to tell a funny story.

[00:02:52.620 – 00:02:54.780] I hope that it is funny.

[00:02:54.780 – 00:03:00.560] It seems as though that a young man who had just…

[00:03:00.560 – 00:03:10.000] a young boy who had just moved in the neighborhood had, was preparing to go to school, and he went to school, and right off, the teacher asked him what his name was.

[00:03:10.000 – 00:03:19.210] And he replied, “Dammit Smith.” Well, now, this upset her very much, and she sent him to the office, and he got it straightened out with the principal.

[00:03:19.210 – 00:03:21.760] And sure enough, his name was Dammit Smith.

[00:03:21.760 – 00:03:31.760] In about three or four days, the superintendent of schools comes around, as they, you know, they do, and, uh, goes to different classrooms and

[00:03:31.760 – 00:03:33.640] see what’s going on in these rooms.

[00:03:33.640 – 00:03:43.340] So they happened to choose this room where little boy Smith was practicing his education.

[00:03:43.340 – 00:03:51.760] And the local principal of this school and, uh, superintendent of schools walk in, and they were listening.

[00:03:51.760 – 00:03:58.160] And naturally, the instructor wanted to show off as much as possibly could for the two officials.

[00:03:58.160 – 00:04:05.140] So she asked a question of the smartest student in the room, which happened to be a young lady.

[00:04:05.140 – 00:04:09.160] The young lady didn’t know the question.

[00:04:09.160 – 00:04:15.500] But as soon as the instructor asked the question, why, little Smith jumps up and he’s raising his hands like that.

[00:04:15.500 – 00:04:33.540] And she said, “Dammit, sit down.” And the superintendent roared back and he said, “Oh, hell, give him a chance.” So

[00:04:33.540 – 00:04:42.180] that’s what I’d like for you to do this evening, ladies and gentlemen, is just give this old boy a chance.

[00:04:42.180 – 00:04:52.260] I,

[00:04:52.260 – 00:05:02.480] uh, just love to go to AA meetings, and it’s always great

[00:05:02.480 – 00:05:07.380] to be able to be present at such a large conference as this.

[00:05:07.380 – 00:05:17.480] And, you know, I feel, uh, you know, about that high up here tonight.

[00:05:17.480 – 00:05:24.160] You know, this is quite something for an old boy who a short time ago couldn’t even say the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:05:24.160 – 00:05:28.360] And I’m real grateful to be here this evening.

[00:05:28.360 – 00:05:38.420] And I just want you all to help me make welcome David

[00:05:38.420 – 00:05:40.080] from Dallas, Texas.

[00:05:40.080 – 00:05:53.130] Thank

[00:05:53.130 – 00:05:55.640] you, Gene, for those kind words.

[00:05:55.640 – 00:05:58.960] Hi, everybody.

[00:05:58.960 – 00:06:01.200] My name is David A., and I am an alcoholic.

[00:06:01.200 – 00:06:02.440] Hi, David.

[00:06:02.440 – 00:06:04.352] Let’s do it again, louder.

[00:06:04.352 – 00:06:05.192] Hi, everybody.

[00:06:05.192 – 00:06:07.352] My name is David A., and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:06:07.352 – 00:06:07.632] Hi.

[00:06:07.632 – 00:06:09.672] That’s better.

[00:06:09.672 – 00:06:17.492] I’m a noisy drunk.

[00:06:17.492 – 00:06:27.572] And a member of this blessed fellowship, and with a belief in a power greater than myself, whom I call God, and with the help of many, many people

[00:06:27.572 – 00:06:35.652] such as you, I have not found it necessary to take a drink of an alcoholic nature since April the 20th of 1967, and for this I’m very, very grateful.

[00:06:35.652 – 00:06:41.172] This morning when I arrived, I, I was quite intrigued by the marquee sign up here.

[00:06:41.172 – 00:06:51.312] It said, “Welcome AAOBGYN Nurses Association.” Well, we know

[00:06:51.312 – 00:06:53.672] what AA is, Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:06:53.672 – 00:06:57.982] And for you uneducated- …

[00:06:57.982 – 00:07:05.392] sober and alcoholics, the OB stands for the nurses who nurse them while they have them babies.

[00:07:05.392 – 00:07:13.692] And the GYN are the nurses that assist the physicians to fix it up so we can either do it without fear or just do it, you know?

[00:07:13.692 – 00:07:18.872] So we’re in the right place, evidently.

[00:07:18.872 – 00:07:29.072] I want to thank the committee for asking me to be a part of your 30th anniversary of Alcoholics

[00:07:29.072 – 00:07:30.212] Anonymous in Oklahoma.

[00:07:30.212 – 00:07:40.212] And I want to congratulate the committee for the excellent facilities that you offer for us to come and visit,

[00:07:40.212 – 00:07:44.792] and for us to sit and visit, and just be plain old recovering folks in AA.

[00:07:44.792 – 00:07:54.932] You know, you hear a lot of people get up behind one of these rostra, and you hear them everywhere, in our groups and everywhere, and you know, you say, “I come from a fine

[00:07:54.932 – 00:08:03.572] Christian home, and I had a fine Christian upbringing, and I had fine Christian parents and a fine Christian religious education.

[00:08:03.572 – 00:08:04.372] Why me?

[00:08:04.372 – 00:08:05.012] Why me?

[00:08:05.012 – 00:08:09.092] Why did I have to become the alcoholic?” Well, I will tell you.

[00:08:09.092 – 00:08:11.791] I didn’t come from a fine Christian home.

[00:08:11.791 – 00:08:14.732] And I didn’t have a fine Christian upbringing.

[00:08:14.732 – 00:08:17.952] And I didn’t have a fine Christian religious education.

[00:08:17.952 – 00:08:20.792] I didn’t even marry a fine Christian lady.

[00:08:20.792 – 00:08:27.652] And we didn’t raise our two boys in the fine Christian manner in which you would normally understand.

[00:08:27.652 – 00:08:30.612] Very honestly and very humbly, I am an alcoholic Jew.

[00:08:30.612 – 00:08:41.252] And

[00:08:41.252 – 00:08:47.112] incidentally, I withheld a, a cablegram from the Prime Minister of Israel a while ago.

[00:08:47.112 – 00:08:55.432] Today happens to be the anniversary of the founding of the State of Israel, and the Prime Minister also sends his blessings to this wonderful group.

[00:08:55.432 – 00:09:05.092] Of course, a little lie wouldn’t help.

[00:09:05.092 – 00:09:06.172] You know, it would…

[00:09:06.172 – 00:09:09.041] We got a loner over there.

[00:09:09.041 – 00:09:12.412] He’s having hell with them Arabs, I’ll tell you.

[00:09:12.412 – 00:09:23.992] And so you see, coming from a

[00:09:23.992 – 00:09:34.132] family born into one of the Jewish faiths, while you also hear in Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, that no one will get you drunk and no one will hold you down and pour

[00:09:34.132 – 00:09:35.632] a drink of alcohol in you.

[00:09:35.632 – 00:09:37.752] Well, I’ll tell you, in my case, that’s not true.

[00:09:37.752 – 00:09:44.612] Because you see, when a boy is born in our religion, on the eighth day, they name him and introduce him into the tribe.

[00:09:44.612 – 00:09:47.452] And it’s done in a very unique manner.

[00:09:47.452 – 00:09:57.492] Now, the gentleman that performs this ceremony, in my case, he had a black hat, you know, and a long black beard and a white robe, and his tooling trade is a sharp little

[00:09:57.492 – 00:09:58.352] knife, you know?

[00:09:58.352 – 00:10:05.432] And now, this gentleman is not licensed to practice surgery, nor medicine, nor to give an anesthesia.

[00:10:05.432 – 00:10:07.372] So they use a beautiful method.

[00:10:07.372 – 00:10:10.292] And for a fellow like me, it was rather delicious, they tell me.

[00:10:10.292 – 00:10:13.332] And the godfather is his helper.

[00:10:13.332 – 00:10:20.092] And the godfather, you know, his job is to take an old-fashioned iced tea glass and fill it full of 100-proof old Guggenheim.

[00:10:20.092 – 00:10:23.631] I guess to use old Guggenheim, they wanted to keep everything among the relatives, you know.

[00:10:23.631 – 00:10:29.272] And then he takes a wad of gauze and he soaks it thoroughly in this bourbon.

[00:10:29.272 – 00:10:35.432] And after he soaks it thoroughly, then he holds one hand over the baby’s mouth, as they did in my case, so I was told.

[00:10:35.432 – 00:10:42.042] And then he gently wafts this gauze soaked with bourbon in front of the baby’s nose and let the baby inhale the fumes.

[00:10:42.042 – 00:10:45.052] You know, just inhale him to sleep, or inhale drunk.

[00:10:45.052 – 00:10:54.752] And right when that man with that little sharp knife says, “Ready,” that’s when the godfather opens up that mouth and sho- shoves that gauze and that booze in the mouth.

[00:10:54.752 – 00:10:59.492] And that’s the first time when alcohol was forced down me against my will.

[00:10:59.492 – 00:11:03.142] And I’ve had a hell of a problem ever since.

[00:11:03.142 – 00:11:09.392] So you see, long ago, I had to give up something in order to get started in this hairline.

[00:11:09.392 – 00:11:19.392] And unlike you Gentiles, you know, you’re not going to give anything up

[00:11:19.392 – 00:11:20.992] till you find out what you have, you know?

[00:11:20.992 – 00:11:31.032] So I can’t tell you what happened to me when I took my first drink of alcohol, whether I blacked out, whether I looked out, whether I passed out, or what

[00:11:31.032 – 00:11:32.152] happened to me, you know.

[00:11:32.152 – 00:11:40.312] But all I know is that all of my waking hours from the time that I can remember as a small youngster, alcohol has been in and around our family.

[00:11:40.312 – 00:11:41.452] It is a part of the religion.

[00:11:41.452 – 00:11:46.852] But we were raised to use, to drink alcohol with discretion, and that, uh, it’s good for an appetizer.

[00:11:46.852 – 00:11:51.132] But don’t use it to excess, you see.

[00:11:51.132 – 00:11:53.012] That drunkenness was a sin.

[00:11:53.012 – 00:11:57.232] You know, it’s all right for you Gentiles, but for Jews, no, no, not for us Jews, you know.

[00:11:57.232 – 00:12:04.172] And as far as I can ascertain on both my mother and father’s side, and this goes all the way back, I guess, to Moses.

[00:12:04.172 – 00:12:04.752] I don’t know.

[00:12:04.752 – 00:12:10.752] As far as I can ascertain, I was the only one that couldn’t take it in and leave it alone.

[00:12:10.752 – 00:12:17.659] And I can’t remember when alcohol wasn’t offered before a meal of some sort.

[00:12:17.659 – 00:12:27.040] And when I was 13 years of age, I had a friend that asked me to go to work for his father.

[00:12:27.040 – 00:12:37.180] Now, prior to that, there seems to be some dignity in the old Orthodox Jewish homes that when their son is born, or their sons are born,

[00:12:37.180 – 00:12:45.760] that they either become a physician or a rabbi, or a banker, you know, or a lawyer, or a certified public accountant.

[00:12:45.760 – 00:12:47.840] Someone with a degree of some sort.

[00:12:47.840 – 00:12:53.740] And they look down on us that comes, he works for the garbage department, you know, or becomes a bricklayer, a plumber’s helper.

[00:12:53.740 – 00:12:55.320] In particular, becomes a drunk.

[00:12:55.320 – 00:13:03.250] And my mother’s great ambition was for me to be a concert pianist, and I didn’t want to be a concert pianist.

[00:13:03.250 – 00:13:11.020] And when I was nine years old, you know, I, I found that I wouldn’t get a whipping if I told my mother a lie and could get away with it.

[00:13:11.020 – 00:13:17.400] My mother forbid me to play football, and she forbid me to play baseball, and she forbid me to do a lot of things.

[00:13:17.400 – 00:13:25.720] And she didn’t want me to run my fingers or my hands or become injured to where I couldn’t become the kind of a son that she could be proud of.

[00:13:25.720 – 00:13:27.320] It’s only natural.

[00:13:27.320 – 00:13:29.520] It’s only natural.

[00:13:29.520 – 00:13:34.080] And when I was a youngster, I contracted a very serious bone disease.

[00:13:34.080 – 00:13:40.020] Back in the days before modern chemotherapy or antibodies.

[00:13:40.020 – 00:13:45.400] And I was on crutches from the time that I was nine years of age and almost lost a leg.

[00:13:45.400 – 00:13:50.500] And my mother made me sit there and play at that piano all day long, and I hated it.

[00:13:50.500 – 00:13:53.040] And if I didn’t practice, she’d switch me.

[00:13:53.040 – 00:13:59.580] Now, I’ll tell you, my mother is five foot even, and she’s almost 80 years old.

[00:13:59.580 – 00:14:06.240] And even today, she has a backhanded slap with either her right or left hand that’s faster than any rattlesnake you’ve ever seen.

[00:14:06.240 – 00:14:09.820] She’s a very positive person.

[00:14:09.820 – 00:14:13.500] My daddy’s afraid of her.

[00:14:13.500 – 00:14:15.820] I’m still afraid of her.

[00:14:15.820 – 00:14:17.760] My brother’s afraid of her.

[00:14:17.760 – 00:14:18.950] Her rabbi’s afraid of her.

[00:14:18.950 – 00:14:20.040] Everybody’s afraid of her.

[00:14:20.040 – 00:14:26.020] And she has one of these closed minds, and when she says it, that’s it.

[00:14:26.020 – 00:14:27.939] And that’s all there’s to it.

[00:14:27.939 – 00:14:38.220] Now, I want you to understand that I’m so grateful for the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous because I love my mother today with all the love

[00:14:38.220 – 00:14:40.080] that a son could love a, a parent.

[00:14:40.080 – 00:14:44.900] It’s because you’ve shown me a way to understand David, and I understand my mother.

[00:14:44.900 – 00:14:46.640] I understand my mother.

[00:14:46.640 – 00:14:56.860] But for a number of years until the day I found you people, I hated my mother with all the vengeance that a son could hate

[00:14:56.860 – 00:14:57.080] anyone.

[00:14:57.080 – 00:15:04.800] Not so much as she was, but what she wouldn’t let me do.

[00:15:04.800 – 00:15:14.860] It was always, “You do this, or something bad’s gonna happen to you,” or, “You do that, not something bad’s gonna happen to you.” And you know, I found

[00:15:14.860 – 00:15:23.999] with that alcohol, that I could take a drink of that alcohol, and I could look my mother in the eye and tell her where to go.

[00:15:23.999 – 00:15:28.820] And crutches and all, I’d jump out the back window, you know, and off I’d go a-running.

[00:15:28.820 – 00:15:32.740] Now, I didn’t tell my mother that I got hurt playing football.

[00:15:32.740 – 00:15:34.240] I told her a lie.

[00:15:34.240 – 00:15:41.160] And I found that by telling her a lie, and if she believed it, it saved the whipping, and it saved the scolding.

[00:15:41.160 – 00:15:50.920] And I began to use that lie not only with her, but my father and everyone around me, up to the time I found you people.

[00:15:50.920 – 00:15:57.860] Well, this friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go to work down on the market, the wholesale produce business.

[00:15:57.860 – 00:16:00.660] It’s down on Skid Row in Dallas, Texas.

[00:16:00.660 – 00:16:05.160] And I agreed to go, and I was 13 years of age, or 14, right.

[00:16:05.160 – 00:16:11.300] And you know, I went to work with Negro winos and white winos, and I started drinking on Skid Row.

[00:16:11.300 – 00:16:18.499] And I started drinking Cream of Kentucky when it was a quarter, right after the Volstead Act was repealed.

[00:16:18.499 – 00:16:22.700] And if I was rich, you know, I could buy me a half pint of Old Mr.

[00:16:22.700 – 00:16:25.020] Boston Spot bottle, you know, for 35 cents.

[00:16:25.020 – 00:16:28.480] That was rich man’s whiskey in those days, and I was making four and a half dollars a week.

[00:16:28.480 – 00:16:38.080] And I’ve had a lot of, of Crab Orchard and Green River and fusel oil whiskey and fruit jar whiskey, and just any kind of alcohol that’s ever been made.

[00:16:38.080 – 00:16:40.480] And I started drinking Cream of Kentucky.

[00:16:40.480 – 00:16:48.160] And you know, we’d take an old bottle with some wine leavings in it, and we’d fill it up with that half pint of Cream of Kentucky.

[00:16:48.160 – 00:16:50.340] And then we’d fill it up the rest of the way with beer.

[00:16:50.340 – 00:16:53.940] And then we’d throw in about 12 aspirins in it, you know, and we’d shake it up.

[00:16:53.940 – 00:16:56.760] And hell, we’d take a trip where you couldn’t even buy a ticket for.

[00:16:56.760 – 00:17:01.020] And I was tough.

[00:17:01.020 – 00:17:03.420] And I drank alcohol.

[00:17:03.420 – 00:17:09.040] Now I know the reason I drank alcohol, and I drank alcohol because I liked what it did for me.

[00:17:09.040 – 00:17:13.740] Or as the little doctor says in the doctor’s opinion, we drink essentially for the effect.

[00:17:13.740 – 00:17:15.220] For the effect.

[00:17:15.220 – 00:17:17.420] And I liked what it did for me.

[00:17:17.420 – 00:17:23.660] I liked the fact that it changed things around me, and conditions, and causes, and the whole world.

[00:17:23.660 – 00:17:27.180] And I was out in a man’s world, and they treated me as a man.

[00:17:27.180 – 00:17:30.220] And I learned to fight, and I learned to be mean.

[00:17:30.220 – 00:17:32.680] I learned to cheat, and I learned to steal.

[00:17:32.680 – 00:17:35.460] Yet living two lives, going back home.

[00:17:35.460 – 00:17:37.120] My mom and daddy didn’t like this, you know.

[00:17:37.120 – 00:17:41.180] And you know, you can’t continue to drink and go to school.

[00:17:41.180 – 00:17:42.440] Something’s gonna happen to you.

[00:17:42.440 – 00:17:43.660] You’re gonna get kicked out of school.

[00:17:43.660 – 00:17:48.920] But I managed to work all summer long, stay drunk most of the time.

[00:17:48.920 – 00:17:55.900] You know, when I was 17, 18 years of age, God bless those winos that I used to work with.

[00:17:55.900 – 00:18:01.440] And I have a soft spot in my heart for the winos because they helped me sober up many a morning.

[00:18:01.440 – 00:18:05.260] And they taught me how to take my breakfast the next morning.

[00:18:05.260 – 00:18:13.100] In case some of you do not know what it is to take your breakfast the next morning when you’re drinking, that’s the ability to take that drink and keep it down, that first drink.

[00:18:13.100 – 00:18:16.780] And they taught me how to do it with a little wine and a little Bay Rum.

[00:18:16.780 – 00:18:18.840] And God bless them.

[00:18:18.840 – 00:18:22.980] And they saved me many a whipping from my mother because I was afraid to go home to mama.

[00:18:22.980 – 00:18:32.980] Well, I stayed and worked on through, and when I was about 18 years of age, I found another wonderful thing that’ll help you get kind

[00:18:32.980 – 00:18:34.180] of well when you’re sick.

[00:18:34.180 – 00:18:37.740] And that is the wonderful stuff of ether.

[00:18:37.740 – 00:18:42.510] And you know, you take a can of ether and you pour some ether in a glass or a Coke bottle or some-

[00:18:42.727 – 00:18:52.847] And then put Coca-Cola with it, or grapefruit juice, or grape juice, or any kind of soft drink, and then drink it, and, oh, it goes down and, oh, that wonderful feeling, and the butterflies begin

[00:18:52.847 – 00:18:53.487] to leave you.

[00:18:53.487 – 00:19:02.927] Now, I don’t advise any of you getting on it as a steady diet because you keep it up for a while, and you’ll get just as white as a sheet, and you’ll smell like a operating room, but you’ll get well, I’ll tell you.

[00:19:02.927 – 00:19:12.057] And then one summer I ran away and joined the circus and went with the band, and I learned how to drink green lizards circus style.

[00:19:12.057 – 00:19:18.907] And that’s a mixture of sodium bromide and Lucky Tiger hair tonic, and you’ll see some animals you’ve never seen before, I’ll tell you.

[00:19:18.907 – 00:19:24.627] And this was long before I was, even got to professional school.

[00:19:24.627 – 00:19:25.787] A long way.

[00:19:25.787 – 00:19:30.927] Well, I went in and graduated high school, went on to Southern Methodist University.

[00:19:30.927 – 00:19:36.847] And, you know, I found a bitter lesson when I went to university.

[00:19:36.847 – 00:19:38.447] I went to a denominational school.

[00:19:38.447 – 00:19:42.347] It was those days where the Depression was on and it was tough.

[00:19:42.347 – 00:19:45.787] World War II hadn’t started yet.

[00:19:45.787 – 00:19:49.887] There was 1,200 students there and they had 12 Jews, you know.

[00:19:49.887 – 00:20:00.427] And I was a resentful little so-and-so, and I hated Pete, and I hated everybody because particularly I wanted to try to be a part of something, but something always interfered.

[00:20:00.427 – 00:20:11.087] And when I went to school, I found a bitter lesson in life because I came from a family that was devout in their religious beliefs

[00:20:11.087 – 00:20:15.647] of Judaism, that I wasn’t asked to join the Gentile circle.

[00:20:15.647 – 00:20:18.487] I couldn’t date a Gentile girl.

[00:20:18.487 – 00:20:21.787] And I fell in love with a beautiful girl one time.

[00:20:21.787 – 00:20:22.967] Oh, she was a beautiful girl.

[00:20:22.967 – 00:20:27.467] And we got rather serious, and her father found out about it, and I’ll never forget.

[00:20:27.467 – 00:20:37.847] He called us into his den study and he lined us up and he said, “Are you going with that?” And she said, “Yes.” And he looked at me and he says, “What are your intentions?”

[00:20:37.847 – 00:20:47.927] And I says, “Well, it’s to graduate, and then maybe we’ll get married.” And he says, “The hell you say you will.” And then he turned to his daughter and he says, “Now, I’m gonna tell you something.”

[00:20:47.927 – 00:20:58.047] He says, “Now, you know daughter of mine is gonna marry one of his kind.” He says, “Now, David, now, I don’t mean you.” He said, “You’re one of them good Jews.” And oh,

[00:20:58.047 – 00:21:00.087] I hated to hear that coming from people like Jews.

[00:21:00.087 – 00:21:00.967] I wanted to kill him.

[00:21:00.967 – 00:21:11.107] “He’s one of them good Jews.” And then he turned to her, he says, “You don’t want to fool with them Jews.” He says, “You know, they drink blood and eat crackers, you know.” Well,

[00:21:11.107 – 00:21:12.927] she was a lousy drinker anyway.

[00:21:12.927 – 00:21:18.607] It was good riddance, you know.

[00:21:18.607 – 00:21:24.377] And I finished Southern Methodist University and went to Baylor University College of Dentistry.

[00:21:24.377 – 00:21:33.037] And still working down on that market, getting drunk on Friday, getting drunker on Saturday, sicker than the devil on Sunday, still drinking on Sunday, and trying to go to school.

[00:21:33.037 – 00:21:37.306] And at the end of my freshman year in professional school, something happened.

[00:21:37.306 – 00:21:39.307] I flunked out of school.

[00:21:39.307 – 00:21:42.247] Flunked out of school.

[00:21:42.247 – 00:21:48.497] Well, the thing that I said would happen to you if you keep on drinking and trying to go to school.

[00:21:48.497 – 00:21:50.987] And I had to go home and face Mama.

[00:21:50.987 – 00:21:55.907] Mama said, “I don’t understand it.

[00:21:55.907 – 00:22:02.167] Here you were, you were, you were class valedictorian in high school, and you graduated with high honors.

[00:22:02.167 – 00:22:06.387] And you graduated with high honors from Southern Methodist University.

[00:22:06.387 – 00:22:08.547] What’s wrong?

[00:22:08.547 – 00:22:11.987] What happened?” I wasn’t gonna tell her the truth.

[00:22:11.987 – 00:22:14.077] Didn’t intend to, to start with.

[00:22:14.077 – 00:22:18.067] I manufactured another lie.

[00:22:18.067 – 00:22:20.017] It’s inconsequential what I told her.

[00:22:20.017 – 00:22:30.127] And she said, “Now, what are you gonna do?” I said, “Well, I’m gonna try to get back in school.” And she says, “Well, are you gonna pace yourself now to where you’ll behave and study?” And I says, “Yes.”

[00:22:30.127 – 00:22:40.207] I says, “I tell you, Mother, I figured this thing out, that if I get married, then I’ll have some responsibility to take care of.” I wasn’t taking care of the ones that I

[00:22:40.207 – 00:22:40.727] had then.

[00:22:40.727 – 00:22:46.107] “And that I’ll stay home at night and I won’t work, and I’ll behave.

[00:22:46.107 – 00:22:49.147] I’ll start professional school over again.

[00:22:49.147 – 00:22:57.727] I’ll make the grades that you want me to make, and everything will be fine.” But, you know, everything I had to do had to have certain conditions attached to it.

[00:22:57.727 – 00:23:01.227] And I had met this wonderful, wonderful girl.

[00:23:01.227 – 00:23:06.307] And I found out her parents had money, see.

[00:23:06.307 – 00:23:16.327] My mother said, “How are you gonna finance this project?” I says, “Well, if I can talk Gracie’s parents into paying half our living expenses, and you and Daddy pay half the living expenses, and she go to work and I’ll

[00:23:16.327 – 00:23:18.107] go to school and everything will be just fine.

[00:23:18.107 – 00:23:22.487] It’ll be a rose parade.” Well, you know, we were married under those conditions.

[00:23:22.487 – 00:23:25.187] Her parents paid half our living expenses.

[00:23:25.187 – 00:23:27.167] My parents paid half the living expenses.

[00:23:27.167 – 00:23:33.387] Grace went to work in a department store, and I went back to school, and I drank more, and my grades got worse.

[00:23:33.387 – 00:23:37.027] But by hook or crook, I finally graduated.

[00:23:37.027 – 00:23:39.567] I finally graduated.

[00:23:39.567 – 00:23:42.547] And my mother had her great ambition.

[00:23:42.547 – 00:23:45.427] She had a son that was a doctor.

[00:23:45.427 – 00:23:53.447] And I got that DDS degree, which today means to me now, drunk dental surgeon, you see.

[00:23:53.447 – 00:23:56.207] Doctor of dental surgery.

[00:23:56.207 – 00:24:06.227] And then the United States Navy came along and commissioned me a lieutenant junior grade in the United States Naval Reserve, and officially declared me an officer and a

[00:24:06.227 – 00:24:07.407] gentleman of my country.

[00:24:07.407 – 00:24:17.427] Now, you take a doctor who has been officially declared an officer and a gentleman by his country, and he loves to drink alcohol, and you pour

[00:24:17.427 – 00:24:23.747] alcohol into that combination, and he’s a Jew Texan to boot, and you got hell on wheels, I don’t mind telling you.

[00:24:23.747 – 00:24:29.767] And I went for it in my little blue suit.

[00:24:29.767 – 00:24:33.867] And the first tour of duty wasn’t too bad, you know.

[00:24:33.867 – 00:24:35.107] Little things.

[00:24:35.107 – 00:24:41.387] I think the longest stretch that I stayed away drunk and lost was about four days.

[00:24:41.387 – 00:24:44.647] And I’d come in with the usual tales, you know.

[00:24:44.647 – 00:24:46.779] To my wife.

[00:24:46.779 – 00:24:56.999] “I was standing in line in the ship’s service to get your cigarettes, your nylons, your this, your that, and

[00:24:56.999 – 00:25:07.899] somebody lifted my wallet.” Well, she said, “What are you gonna do?” I said, “Well, I’m gonna call Daddy.” And

[00:25:07.899 – 00:25:18.479] she says, “Well, you know Daddy’s not gonna do anything till Mama gives the okay.” I said, “Well, it’s easier to call Daddy and let him explain it to Mama.” And this is what I did, and

[00:25:18.479 – 00:25:19.419] he bailed me out.

[00:25:19.419 – 00:25:26.339] And we got on back, and, you know, I got back to Dallas, and then moved back to Dallas and opened up a dental shop.

[00:25:26.339 – 00:25:31.079] And I began to make more money than any white man ought to be allowed to make.

[00:25:31.079 – 00:25:41.359] And I put it in my left-hand pocket, you know, and steal it with my right hand, and I wasn’t keeping books, you know, because in those days, I tell you, I was living the dream, and

[00:25:41.359 – 00:25:42.179] I enjoyed it.

[00:25:42.179 – 00:25:52.819] And our two boys were born, and I tried to con my wife into going with me when I went out to drink, and she tried it,

[00:25:52.819 – 00:25:53.839] but she couldn’t take it.

[00:25:53.839 – 00:26:04.479] And I was too busy drinking and doing the things that I wanted to do to be a husband and a father

[00:26:04.479 – 00:26:05.459] and a professional man.

[00:26:05.459 – 00:26:15.479] And things began to get bad, very bad, because, you see, my appointments in the morning, I’d

[00:26:15.479 – 00:26:25.519] call up and I’d say, “My back’s bothering me this morning,” or, “My sinuses are bothering me,” or, “My foot’s hurting,” or, “I have

[00:26:25.519 – 00:26:28.239] a flat,” or, “My car won’t start.

[00:26:28.239 – 00:26:38.419] Move the nine o’clock appointment up to 10:00.” And then I’d go in and take me a drink to face life, and it tasted

[00:26:38.419 – 00:26:42.539] so good I took another drink to accompany the first drink.

[00:26:42.539 – 00:26:52.759] And then I’d call again and I’d say, “Get the 10 o’clock moved to 11:00.” And I started taking off on Wednesdays, and my normal

[00:26:52.759 – 00:26:55.639] days off were half afternoons on Thursdays.

[00:26:55.639 – 00:27:03.319] And then they got pushed back to Tuesdays, and then Mondays, and then weeks used to go by.

[00:27:03.319 – 00:27:06.499] Oh, I’d work when I showed up.

[00:27:06.499 – 00:27:10.319] I had to, to get some money to do the things that I wanted to do.

[00:27:10.319 – 00:27:12.499] And things began to get bad.

[00:27:12.499 – 00:27:17.479] And you know, a fella like myself, I’m gonna do anything to get that money to drink.

[00:27:17.479 – 00:27:27.479] Now, normal folks, I guess, it’s whatever is normal, they go to the bank and they borrow money on their credit references, you know, or life insurance policies, or their

[00:27:27.479 – 00:27:29.179] stocks, or whatever they have, you know?

[00:27:29.179 – 00:27:29.779] Not me.

[00:27:29.779 – 00:27:39.859] I’d say, “Well, I’ll write a check, and I’ll go to the bank on Monday.” But the trouble is, I didn’t say what Monday, and

[00:27:39.859 – 00:27:40.999] I got into a lot of trouble.

[00:27:40.999 – 00:27:43.279] So I tried to make money fast.

[00:27:43.279 – 00:27:50.859] With my brilliance and my brains, I decided I could make a lot of money gambling, and I got into a lot of serious trouble gambling.

[00:27:50.859 – 00:27:52.879] And you know, I want to tell you something.

[00:27:52.879 – 00:27:56.999] Those professional gamblers don’t make 12-step calls on their clients like you and I do.

[00:27:56.999 – 00:28:00.739] Never are.

[00:28:00.739 – 00:28:06.079] And so finally in 1952, I got a letter ordering me back to active duty.

[00:28:06.079 – 00:28:11.899] I didn’t have to go, but I was head over heels in debt in six figures.

[00:28:11.899 – 00:28:14.879] My practice had just gone.

[00:28:14.879 – 00:28:19.799] I had taken people’s money and I’d get drunk, and I didn’t finish the work.

[00:28:19.799 – 00:28:30.219] And they gave me 30 days to clean my business up and come on to the First Marine Division, and I took five days and off I went, and left my wife and the two boys

[00:28:30.219 – 00:28:31.039] with all the debt.

[00:28:31.039 – 00:28:33.059] Let her answer the phone.

[00:28:33.059 – 00:28:35.319] Let her deal with the creditors.

[00:28:35.319 – 00:28:37.359] Let her deal with the bankers.

[00:28:37.359 – 00:28:39.739] Let her deal with the gamblers.

[00:28:39.739 – 00:28:47.239] And she did, and I hid behind her skirt while off I ran, and I got way, way, way from those creditors.

[00:28:47.239 – 00:28:52.759] And the last time I was in the service, I got into some serious difficulties.

[00:28:52.759 – 00:28:56.479] I was ordered back to Japan.

[00:28:56.479 – 00:29:07.119] I was a regimental dental surgeon in a combat-ready division, and we were spread out all over Japan, and

[00:29:07.119 – 00:29:12.299] I had quite a number of personnel under my direct command, but I would stay in drunk.

[00:29:12.299 – 00:29:15.579] And you know how it is when you come into the service.

[00:29:15.579 – 00:29:25.579] We are so ashamed, or let me say I was so ashamed of the things that I know that I should have been doing, of the potential that I knew

[00:29:25.579 – 00:29:35.919] that was there that I never had exercised, that the people that I had let down, that the profession that I was ruining, the life that I was ruining.

[00:29:35.919 – 00:29:41.759] I’ve got to cover it up some way, so on our qualifications jacket, we just put down what we did, you know?

[00:29:41.759 – 00:29:48.339] And I put down degrees that I didn’t have, tried to impress somebody and justify it, you know?

[00:29:48.339 – 00:29:52.159] Service organizations that I didn’t belong to.

[00:29:52.159 – 00:30:00.699] Oh, I belonged to some, but they had long kicked me out because of non-failure of dues, non-attendance at meetings, because I was too busy drinking.

[00:30:00.699 – 00:30:08.619] And one day, the commanding officer called me and he said, “I’d like to talk to you.” And I went in, and I had been berated by him many times, and I didn’t know what was up.

[00:30:08.619 – 00:30:13.819] And he said, “Sit down and have a cigar.” Well, I know they’re not gonna treat you too rough when they talk to you that way.

[00:30:13.819 – 00:30:17.899] And he says, “You know, we have a problem.

[00:30:17.899 – 00:30:27.899] Our officer’s club officer is drunk, and he’s AWOL, and the Commandant of the Marine Corps

[00:30:27.899 – 00:30:31.639] is coming out, and, and it’s gonna be a big observance on the Marine Corps birthday.

[00:30:31.639 – 00:30:35.619] It comes on November the 10th, and the next day will be Armistice Day, November the 11th.

[00:30:35.619 – 00:30:45.699] And we’re gonna have a big 48-hour celebration, and there’s gonna be some State Department officials, and there’s gonna be some congressmen, and there are gonna be some senators.” My old ears just stuck up,

[00:30:45.699 – 00:30:46.059] you know.

[00:30:46.059 – 00:30:56.378] And he says, “And we have been looking over your qualifications jacket.” And we see that you are on the board of directors of some private clubs there in Dallas that had to do

[00:30:56.378 – 00:31:06.439] with liquor by the drink and slot machines.” And he said, “We would like to know if you would do us a favor.” And I

[00:31:06.439 – 00:31:14.299] says, “Yes, sir.” He said, “Would you be our officers’ club officer?” And before he could finish, I was in his lap, you know.

[00:31:14.299 – 00:31:20.039] Three thousand bottles of liquor, all that beer, slot machines, money.

[00:31:20.039 – 00:31:21.679] You know, you’re way ahead of me, aren’t you?

[00:31:21.679 – 00:31:23.139] I don’t even have to finish the story.

[00:31:23.139 – 00:31:25.739] But I’ll tell you what happened to me.

[00:31:25.739 – 00:31:28.179] I got a general court-martial out of the deal.

[00:31:28.179 – 00:31:29.219] That’s what happened to me.

[00:31:29.219 – 00:31:39.839] And you know, all that money, and I didn’t keep books, and I was drinking and staying away, AWOL.

[00:31:39.839 – 00:31:46.919] And finally, they had a chain of com- change of command, and they came for me, and they found me.

[00:31:46.919 – 00:31:58.039] And they ordered me up before this new commanding officer, and he told me that I was under arrest to

[00:31:58.039 – 00:31:59.679] face general court-martial charges.

[00:31:59.679 – 00:32:05.179] And he said some other things, and I had a bad hangover, and I got mad at him.

[00:32:05.179 – 00:32:13.959] He made me mad, and I jumped over his desk, and I hit him, and I fractured his lower jaw, and that made him a little angry, and that was added to the charges, assault and battery.

[00:32:13.959 – 00:32:15.779] And there I was.

[00:32:15.779 – 00:32:20.718] I was handcuffed, and I was confined to a military stockade.

[00:32:20.718 – 00:32:30.479] And I stayed in that stockade, literally chained, under armed guard twenty-four hours a day for almost six months till they could decide what to do with me.

[00:32:30.479 – 00:32:33.739] And I was under some serious charges.

[00:32:33.739 – 00:32:38.899] Number one, there was one charge that sort of hurt my feelings.

[00:32:38.899 – 00:32:49.099] The government claimed, or the Marine Corps did, that I borrowed a considerable sum of their money with no intention of paying it back,

[00:32:49.099 – 00:32:49.359] you know.

[00:32:49.359 – 00:32:52.699] Well, I had intentions of paying it back.

[00:32:52.699 – 00:32:56.399] I left money on the books, you know, and when I got around to it, why, I’d replace it.

[00:32:56.399 – 00:33:00.939] I was charged with being AWOL in wartime, which is a very serious offense.

[00:33:00.939 – 00:33:04.459] I was charged with moral turpitude.

[00:33:04.459 – 00:33:08.499] That kind of worried me a little bit, you know.

[00:33:08.499 – 00:33:18.539] I know what it is today, the same thing that the fourth step in Alcoholics Anonymous tells us, made a searching and fearless moral inventory

[00:33:18.539 – 00:33:18.979] of ourselves.

[00:33:18.979 – 00:33:21.119] Moral turpitude, I had to look it up in the dictionary.

[00:33:21.119 – 00:33:25.639] Moral, it says conduct, right conduct and wrong conduct.

[00:33:25.639 – 00:33:29.039] Yeah, that made some sense later on.

[00:33:29.039 – 00:33:38.719] Then I was charged with acts unbecoming an officer and a gentleman, and I was facing twenty-five years in federal penitentiary, and it didn’t look good.

[00:33:38.719 – 00:33:40.319] Certainly didn’t look good.

[00:33:40.319 – 00:33:44.719] I was brought to trial.

[00:33:44.719 – 00:33:53.019] But before I was brought to trial, I managed to drink the whole time I was confined for the six months.

[00:33:53.019 – 00:34:00.799] And in this little mind of mine, I got to thinking, particularly after I took about nine or ten ounces of illegal whiskey that was smuggled to me.

[00:34:00.799 – 00:34:03.639] I got into this mess.

[00:34:03.639 – 00:34:05.889] How am I gonna get out of this mess?

[00:34:05.889 – 00:34:12.899] So I asked to see who was on my court-martial, sitting on the court-martial.

[00:34:12.899 – 00:34:17.079] And at that time, I was allowed to walk around into the camp area.

[00:34:17.079 – 00:34:27.119] And I found that five of the seven on my court-martial were members of the Masonic Order, and I happened to be a member in good standing of the Masonic

[00:34:27.119 – 00:34:27.919] Order at that time.

[00:34:27.919 – 00:34:38.239] So I searched out each of the five, and I had a little conversation with them about things that we talk about, and I felt relatively

[00:34:38.239 – 00:34:42.739] safe that no serious harm would happen to me when I went to trial.

[00:34:42.739 – 00:34:48.519] But I tell you, that was the meanest prosecuting attorney I’ve ever seen for the Marine Corps in all my life.

[00:34:48.519 – 00:34:51.479] He hated Jews, he hated dogs, he hated everything.

[00:34:51.479 – 00:34:55.539] And he brought up some things that I didn’t even know about.

[00:34:55.539 – 00:35:01.439] Apparently, I’d done them because they had witnesses, and things began to look rough.

[00:35:01.439 – 00:35:05.979] And so finally, in the closing argument, I panicked.

[00:35:05.979 – 00:35:15.999] And I stepped before the convening officer, and I said, “Look, I’d like to close my closing argument and plead my own case.” And he said, “Well,” he said,

[00:35:15.999 – 00:35:19.079] “let me confer with the legal officer,” and he did, the division legal officer.

[00:35:19.079 – 00:35:24.799] And the division legal officer says, “Well, it’s his trial, but just, we’ll have to warn him of his rights,” of which they did.

[00:35:24.799 – 00:35:29.179] And then I pled my case and closed it out.

[00:35:29.179 – 00:35:38.589] And I told him, here I was a reserve, called back to active duty to practice dentistry, and I wasn’t allowed to practice my profession.

[00:35:38.589 – 00:35:44.839] They made a club officer out of me, and not being familiar with Marine Corps rules and regulations, that I made some errors.

[00:35:44.839 – 00:35:47.919] And it’s only natural, you know.

[00:35:47.919 – 00:35:55.489] And I cried, and I pled, and I told him what would happen to me, that I couldn’t go back out and make a decent living, that my license would be removed.

[00:35:55.489 – 00:35:59.259] But basically, you see, I didn’t want to get locked up for twenty-five years.

[00:35:59.259 – 00:36:00.739] I had some more drinking to do.

[00:36:00.739 – 00:36:02.379] And there had to be a way out.

[00:36:02.379 – 00:36:04.479] Well, I’ll tell you what happened.

[00:36:04.479 – 00:36:09.039] They went out, and they brought back a verdict of guilty.

[00:36:09.039 – 00:36:15.699] And I was fined so many dollars for five consecutive months, hundreds of dollars, that is.

[00:36:15.699 – 00:36:20.939] I was dropped twenty-five hundred numbers in grade and given a letter of reprimand.

[00:36:20.939 – 00:36:25.439] And that’s pretty good for somebody who’s facing twenty-five years in federal penitentiary.

[00:36:25.439 – 00:36:32.979] But you know, you never can tell about us smart geniuses, you know, when we’re drinking and trying to get out of a jam.

[00:36:32.979 – 00:36:40.519] All this has to go back through the chain of command, and it has to go b- before the judge advocate officer in, in Washington for the review.

[00:36:40.519 – 00:36:48.379] And since I was in the Navy, attached to the Marine Corps, it had to go through the Marine Corps judge advocate and then the Navy judge advocate, and they handed down their opinion.

[00:36:48.379 – 00:36:49.779] And it’s amazing.

[00:36:49.779 – 00:36:51.919] Their both opinions were almost the same.

[00:36:51.919 – 00:37:01.919] It came back, and it says, “Due to the nature of the closing argument and the many ad- omissions and errors in the trial, the verdict of guilty will stand.

[00:37:01.919 – 00:37:06.189] But all forfeited money would be returned.” I got my money back.

[00:37:06.189 – 00:37:14.799] “The twenty-five hundred numbers in grade will be restored for current standing.” I almost made lieutenant commander out of the deal.

[00:37:14.799 – 00:37:22.199] But the letter of reprimand would stand, and that was it.

[00:37:22.199 – 00:37:25.139] And I was released from active duty.

[00:37:26.418 – 00:37:32.588] And went on my merry way with a commendation for satisfactory service.

[00:37:32.588 – 00:37:33.658] You see?

[00:37:33.658 – 00:37:37.278] Full well knowing now that they had me dead to rights.

[00:37:37.278 – 00:37:40.958] And I tell this for a very definite reason.

[00:37:40.958 – 00:37:49.378] We here in Alcoholics Anonymous, we never hurt anybody but ourselves by drinking.

[00:37:49.378 – 00:37:58.318] I’d like to tell you about me, what happened, just out of that one particular episode in my life.

[00:37:58.318 – 00:38:05.678] Remember I told you about the five of the seven on the court martial board.

[00:38:05.678 – 00:38:15.758] Number one, also, when I panicked and I thought they were gonna close in and lock me up for twenty-five years,

[00:38:15.758 – 00:38:23.258] I got a hold of some congressmen and some senators, and I got some friends of mine to lie, to put some political pressure on.

[00:38:23.258 – 00:38:33.358] And after I was released from active duty, the commanding general of that particular division, a wonderful, wonderful serviceman, a graduate

[00:38:33.358 – 00:38:37.338] of Annapolis, who chose the Marine Corps as his career rather than the Navy.

[00:38:37.338 – 00:38:40.758] He was due to retire and came up for a two-star general.

[00:38:40.758 – 00:38:44.158] And this has to be by congressional approval.

[00:38:44.158 – 00:38:51.158] And two of my friends remembered it, and he was retired as a one-star general.

[00:38:51.158 – 00:38:54.338] I’ve made direct amends to that particular gentleman.

[00:38:54.338 – 00:39:04.358] The convening officer of that court martial board, a wonderful, wonderful officer, and he was a temporary colonel in the United States Marine Corps, a

[00:39:04.358 – 00:39:08.138] regular Marine, not a reserve.

[00:39:08.138 – 00:39:12.718] And he had been passed over twice for a permanent colonel’s commission in the United States Marine Corps.

[00:39:12.718 – 00:39:17.458] And he came up for the third time, and if you’re passed over for the third time, that’s the kiss of death.

[00:39:17.458 – 00:39:19.158] Here was a dedicated man.

[00:39:19.158 – 00:39:29.318] He came up for promotion because of his involvement with me, because they started an investigation after I left, and I was in fear that they would recall me back to active

[00:39:29.318 – 00:39:31.078] duty and iron this thing out once again.

[00:39:31.078 – 00:39:39.558] And six months after, uh, six weeks rather, after he was passed over, he took a service forty-five to his head and he killed himself.

[00:39:39.558 – 00:39:47.478] And three of the other five members of that particular board were regular Marine officers.

[00:39:47.478 – 00:39:52.577] They went through an investigation, and they were discharged from the Marine Corps.

[00:39:52.577 – 00:40:02.668] And you know, for a number of years, when I couldn’t sleep and I had to have another

[00:40:02.668 – 00:40:13.078] drink, when I couldn’t stay sober and I couldn’t stay drunk, I’d see that man’s head where that bullet is, and I’d have to get up and take another drink

[00:40:13.078 – 00:40:14.338] to erase it from my mind.

[00:40:14.338 – 00:40:24.918] You’re looking at, and I hope you’re hearing, a recovering alcoholic, not in a blackout, but because common sense

[00:40:24.918 – 00:40:35.098] and reasoning was beginning to leave me, that I floorboarded a car after I had dropped some post-dated checks in the post office, figured I had it whipped again, and took a good

[00:40:35.098 – 00:40:39.778] slug out of a fifth of liquor and then floorboarded the car and the accelerator hung.

[00:40:39.778 – 00:40:41.338] And I panicked.

[00:40:41.338 – 00:40:46.638] And all I had to do was to turn off the ignition, and that would cut the power supply.

[00:40:46.638 – 00:40:47.718] But I didn’t.

[00:40:47.718 – 00:40:57.918] I tried to stop it by riding out the brakes, and I ran through a school zone when a high school in Dallas was letting out there at three thirty in the afternoon, when all these high school students

[00:40:57.918 – 00:40:58.698] were coming out.

[00:40:58.698 – 00:41:08.797] And for two and a half years, when I couldn’t drink, couldn’t sleep rather, and couldn’t stay awake, and couldn’t stay drunk, and couldn’t stay sober,

[00:41:08.798 – 00:41:14.958] I’d see those shoes and those glasses and those bodies and those books and those underclothing and jewelry and everything just flying over the hood of my car.

[00:41:14.958 – 00:41:20.378] Thank God no one was killed in that particular instance.

[00:41:20.378 – 00:41:22.498] But there were quite a few that were hurt.

[00:41:22.498 – 00:41:32.718] And if there’s anyone in this room tonight that has had a devastating experience such as that, to where another human life

[00:41:32.718 – 00:41:42.758] has been taken as a result, either by a direct involvement with us or directly with it, and you haven’t

[00:41:42.758 – 00:41:46.297] found yet the strength to ask forgiveness, it’s here.

[00:41:46.297 – 00:41:56.558] And God, as I understand Him, and the God that you will understand if you will search, will show you the way that I can show you, to where you can have a good night’s

[00:41:56.558 – 00:41:58.978] sleep, a good night’s sleep.

[00:41:58.978 – 00:42:04.698] No, I don’t make excuses that I did it because I was an alcoholic.

[00:42:04.698 – 00:42:10.578] I did it because I was a drinking alcoholic, and I couldn’t stop drinking.

[00:42:10.578 – 00:42:15.798] Because common sense and reasoning and the power of reasoning had long begun to leave me.

[00:42:15.798 – 00:42:22.568] It left me, I didn’t realize it, and I know it now, when I flunked out of professional school, my first year in school.

[00:42:22.568 – 00:42:23.498] I didn’t know this.

[00:42:23.498 – 00:42:33.498] Well, I moved, made three geographical moves, drank up three practices, and finally I was in business, spending so much

[00:42:33.498 – 00:42:36.018] money calling Daddy, getting him to bail me out.

[00:42:36.018 – 00:42:46.278] I told him one day, I says, “Daddy,” I said, “If you’d leave me all the money that you’re gonna leave me when you pass on and give it to me now while you’re living, you could enjoy and see what I’m doing to it while you’re alive.”

[00:42:46.278 – 00:42:51.458] And hell, I was getting it from him every day, and it was killing him .

[00:42:51.458 – 00:42:55.598] And finally, I moved back to Dallas, where I’d be close to home.

[00:42:55.598 – 00:42:57.638] Start again.

[00:42:57.638 – 00:43:00.658] I didn’t find the practice that I have today.

[00:43:00.658 – 00:43:10.758] I sent my wife down to find it, because she has a tremendous personality, and she’s a wonderful woman, and she’s honest and sincere.

[00:43:10.758 – 00:43:16.298] And she found the practice for me because of her charm and her magnetism.

[00:43:16.298 – 00:43:19.398] And they didn’t know what they were getting in the bargain when they got me.

[00:43:19.398 – 00:43:21.238] And I moved back.

[00:43:21.238 – 00:43:25.518] Yes, this time it’ll be different.

[00:43:25.518 – 00:43:27.018] I won’t drink as much.

[00:43:27.018 – 00:43:29.218] This time I’ll tend to business.

[00:43:29.218 – 00:43:31.898] And I started out all over again.

[00:43:31.898 – 00:43:37.054] But you see, I, I was a daily drinker, and I drank every day.

[00:43:37.054 – 00:43:42.574] And I stayed drunk day after day after day after day, and I got into a lot of trouble.

[00:43:42.574 – 00:43:52.414] My wife had filed suit for divorce so many times, I didn’t know if I was coming, if I was going, if I was married, if I was single, or if I was living in sin or not.

[00:43:52.414 – 00:43:54.294] I don’t even know, you know.

[00:43:54.294 – 00:43:57.534] And I’d run down and get them stocked, you know.

[00:43:57.534 – 00:43:59.394] I don’t know why.

[00:43:59.394 – 00:44:02.394] I’d turn right around and mess up the apple cart again.

[00:44:02.394 – 00:44:07.494] She’d thrown all my clothes out, locked me out, you know.

[00:44:07.494 – 00:44:10.594] Well, I’m going to seek comfort someplace, you know.

[00:44:10.594 – 00:44:15.674] I’m a lovable sort of an individual, and handsome, you know, and brilliant and smart.

[00:44:15.674 – 00:44:18.934] I’m going to seek comfort, and I did.

[00:44:18.934 – 00:44:29.234] Yet, full well knowing that I was crucifying my wife and my children and my parents and the profession

[00:44:29.234 – 00:44:36.134] and everything that I was doing, yet, I take a drink and couldn’t stop drinking.

[00:44:36.134 – 00:44:37.954] Couldn’t stop drinking.

[00:44:37.954 – 00:44:39.634] I tried to stop drinking by drinking.

[00:44:39.634 – 00:44:41.094] It’ll kill you, I’ll tell you.

[00:44:41.094 – 00:44:42.134] That’s what it’ll do to you.

[00:44:42.134 – 00:44:47.054] And incidentally, this program seems to work a hell of a lot better if we don’t drink.

[00:44:47.054 – 00:44:47.894] You know that, don’t you?

[00:44:47.894 – 00:44:55.054] And so finally, finally, finally, I got into so much trouble.

[00:44:55.054 – 00:44:59.954] I found the handwriting on the floor in the Dallas County Jail again.

[00:44:59.954 – 00:45:02.694] Now, it’s not the first time I’ve been in that jail.

[00:45:02.694 – 00:45:07.424] I’ve been in jail in, in all areas of this country.

[00:45:07.424 – 00:45:16.434] The only place I haven’t ever been in jail is in over in Florida, and I guess I stayed away from Florida because I was afraid if I ever got locked up, they’d deport me to Israel, and I didn’t want to go over there.

[00:45:16.434 – 00:45:19.954] But I’ve been in the Mexican jails, and they’re no fun.

[00:45:19.954 – 00:45:21.394] I’ve been locked up in the Philippines.

[00:45:21.394 – 00:45:22.754] Got locked up in Hong Kong.

[00:45:22.754 – 00:45:24.874] That takes three weeks to talk about.

[00:45:24.874 – 00:45:32.294] But you know, the only requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is a desire to stop drinking, and jails certainly aren’t a requirement.

[00:45:32.294 – 00:45:37.934] But I seemed to begin to make them with regularity for various and sundry reasons and offenses.

[00:45:37.934 – 00:45:41.054] Mostly, and all of it was for alcoholism.

[00:45:41.054 – 00:45:42.354] I know that today.

[00:45:42.354 – 00:45:49.834] But you know, something happened the last time I was in jail.

[00:45:49.834 – 00:45:51.634] I don’t know what it is.

[00:45:51.634 – 00:46:01.914] You know, it tells us in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous that our stories just close in a general way, what we used to be like and what happened and what it is like today.

[00:46:01.914 – 00:46:04.074] And something happened to me in that jail.

[00:46:04.074 – 00:46:12.754] There I was back in that jail again, and I don’t know if it’s ever happened to any of you, but I was perfectly clear in my mind for just a few minutes, as I am now.

[00:46:12.754 – 00:46:18.794] And I looked around, I said, “My God, I’m here again.” But I didn’t want me anymore.

[00:46:18.794 – 00:46:21.174] I didn’t want to drink anymore.

[00:46:21.174 – 00:46:28.134] I’d been to the psychiatrist, you know, and shoot, I found out all the questions he asked me, great use to ask me for nothing, you know.

[00:46:28.134 – 00:46:36.954] And I had to come to Alcoholics Anonymous to find out w- I was a wife beater, when all along I thought I was hitting her in self-defense, you know.

[00:46:36.954 – 00:46:43.194] And I looked around and I said, “I don’t want me anymore.

[00:46:43.194 – 00:46:51.674] There has to be a better way to live, if I could just find a way to live without drinking.” And I did the only thing that was left to me.

[00:46:51.674 – 00:46:56.754] Oh, I’d bargained with God before, as any of us had done.

[00:46:56.754 – 00:47:05.034] I said, “I hope he strikes me dead if I ever take another drink.” And yet I’d look in the mirror and I’d take a drink and I’d straighten up, you know, and I’d take another one.

[00:47:05.034 – 00:47:07.514] Say, “Hi, you handsome son of a gun.

[00:47:07.514 – 00:47:09.374] Who you going to attack today?” you know.

[00:47:09.374 – 00:47:18.444] But this time I said, “My God, is there any help for me?” I didn’t ask him for sobriety to the best that I know of or anything else.

[00:47:18.444 – 00:47:28.494] And I said, “My God, is there any help for me?” And he gave me an answer, and I heard it just as well as I can see you people and hear

[00:47:28.494 – 00:47:29.894] that air conditioner going.

[00:47:29.894 – 00:47:33.514] He said, “Listen, you little so-and-so.

[00:47:33.514 – 00:47:40.974] Until you stop drinking, I can’t help you.” And they called my name, and I was so drunk I fell down.

[00:47:40.974 – 00:47:46.004] I’d been in that jail so many times, this time they didn’t take my glasses away to see if…

[00:47:46.004 – 00:47:47.474] You know, because they have metal in them.

[00:47:47.474 – 00:47:49.164] They didn’t take my belt away from me.

[00:47:49.164 – 00:47:50.664] They didn’t take my shoelaces out.

[00:47:50.664 – 00:47:50.993] Nothing.

[00:47:50.993 – 00:47:52.314] Threw me in the runway.

[00:47:52.314 – 00:48:02.414] Because the, the high sheriff of Dallas County on the previous time told me, he says, “If you show up in my county jail again,” he said, “you’re not going

[00:48:02.414 – 00:48:11.414] to leave, that I’m going to send you away to a place to where they’re going to keep you.” And I don’t know how I got out, but I got out.

[00:48:11.414 – 00:48:13.714] And oh, I was sick.

[00:48:13.714 – 00:48:15.134] I was sick on the inside.

[00:48:15.134 – 00:48:16.754] I was sick in the head and sick in the gut.

[00:48:16.754 – 00:48:19.814] You know, just like that double blank on the dominoes, you know.

[00:48:19.814 – 00:48:20.594] Double blank.

[00:48:20.594 – 00:48:23.514] Sick here and sick there, held together by shell.

[00:48:23.514 – 00:48:28.134] And I went home and I looked at myself and no one was there.

[00:48:28.134 – 00:48:30.274] All the clothes had been thrown away.

[00:48:30.274 – 00:48:37.214] And I went down to my office, and the lady is still with me, and she was there when I was drinking.

[00:48:37.214 – 00:48:38.814] God bless her.

[00:48:38.814 – 00:48:48.854] She looked at me, she says, “Doctor, you look sick.” And I said, “Honey, I am sick.” I said, “I wonder if

[00:48:48.854 – 00:48:52.794] you’d look up a fella’s number for me.” And she did.

[00:48:52.794 – 00:49:02.453] And she dialed the number and I got on the phone, and a voice on the other end said, “Hello?” And I said, “W.O., this is David.

[00:49:02.453 – 00:49:06.294] Are you still interested in Alcoholics Anonymous?” He said, “Yes, I am.

[00:49:06.294 – 00:49:11.074] Who is it for?” And I said, “It’s for me.” He said, “Good.

[00:49:11.074 – 00:49:13.274] We have a meeting tomorrow night.

[00:49:13.274 – 00:49:19.134] Let’s just go and get it over with, and don’t you take a drink of alcohol this day,” and he hung up, and that’s all he did.

[00:49:19.134 – 00:49:28.614] And after coming to you people and going to these clubhouses and meeting rooms and seeing those signs, love, care, and we understand, I was wondering where it was that day when I called him.

[00:49:28.614 – 00:49:31.594] But you see, I know W.O.

[00:49:31.594 – 00:49:37.054] as well as any man knows anybody, and he knows me just as well as any man alive.

[00:49:37.054 – 00:49:41.564] And I used to get drunk with him, and I saw him come to Alcoholics Anonymous, and I saw him return to drinking.

[00:49:41.564 – 00:49:43.614] I saw him come back to AA and get sober.

[00:49:43.614 – 00:49:44.594] I saw him return to drinking.

[00:49:44.594 – 00:49:45.734] Just like a tennis match.

[00:49:45.734 – 00:49:48.754] I didn’t even know if he was sober, whether he was alive or what he was.

[00:49:48.754 – 00:49:51.734] But you see, I come to AA with split vision, you know.

[00:49:51.734 – 00:49:55.774] I had one eye on that sheriff that I just run off from and one eye on you.

[00:49:55.774 – 00:49:58.174] On one eye on you.

[00:49:58.174 – 00:50:02.094] And I didn’t know what kind of trouble I was in, but I figured I’d call him.

[00:50:02.094 – 00:50:08.034] And you know, that’s the greatest thing that that man could have ever done for me when he told me, hung up on me.

[00:50:08.034 – 00:50:17.774] Because he, you know, he, he knew that when I called him, that I had run out of every Jew in the Southwest, and when I got down to you Gentiles, I was in serious trouble.

[00:50:17.774 – 00:50:24.714] I’m gonna tell you something.

[00:50:24.714 – 00:50:25.954] He didn’t tell me to do anything.

[00:50:25.954 – 00:50:32.354] And the next 24 hours was the roughest 24 hours I ever spent in my life, you know, and I was shaking and I was sick, but I didn’t drink.

[00:50:32.354 – 00:50:38.214] And I will tell you one thing, the next morning when I come to, I was sober.

[00:50:38.214 – 00:50:46.934] And I didn’t have a belly full of tranquilizers, nor did I have a prescription for 500 more, and for that I am very, very grateful.

[00:50:46.934 – 00:50:49.454] And at 7:30 in the morning, I called him again.

[00:50:49.454 – 00:50:58.514] I said, “W,” I said, “Where is that meeting?” He said, “Are you drinking?” I said, “No.” He said, “Do you want a drink?” I said, “You’re darn right I want one.” He said, “Why aren’t you drinking?” I says, “I’m too scared.

[00:50:58.514 – 00:51:08.234] I don’t know where I’ll end up.” He says, “All right,” he says, “the meeting’s tonight, and don’t you take a drink of alcohol this day,” and he hung up again, and that’s all that he did.

[00:51:08.234 – 00:51:18.274] And so finally at 3:30 in the afternoon, I called him up and I says, “W, where in the devil is that meeting?” He said, “Are you drinking?” I said, “No.” He

[00:51:18.274 – 00:51:20.254] says, “All right,” he says, “go get cleaned up.

[00:51:20.254 – 00:51:22.754] Do you want me to come get you?” And I says, “Where is it?

[00:51:22.754 – 00:51:26.314] I think I can make it on my own.” He’s that way.

[00:51:26.314 – 00:51:31.594] He believes in getting there under your own power if you’re capable, if you really want to get there bad enough.

[00:51:31.594 – 00:51:35.114] And he told me where it was, and he said, “I’m going to tell you something.

[00:51:35.114 – 00:51:41.154] When you turn off that main street, right there when you turn, there’s a liquor store on your left and a beer joint on your right.

[00:51:41.154 – 00:51:50.074] Don’t you stop and buy and consume any alcohol because when I get out there, I’m going to smell you, and if you’re drinking, I’m going to throw you right back through the front door.

[00:51:50.074 – 00:51:56.154] You, David, shall not come to Alcoholics Anonymous drunk or drinking.” And he hung up, and that’s all he did.

[00:51:56.154 – 00:52:00.114] Well, I was in a serious predicament.

[00:52:00.114 – 00:52:06.374] Grace had thrown out and locked up all of my clothes, and I didn’t have any underpants.

[00:52:06.374 – 00:52:16.394] And I couldn’t go to them places where I, you know, doing a lot of little light housekeeping all over the country, you know, because I was afraid I’d get

[00:52:16.394 – 00:52:16.774] drunk.

[00:52:16.774 – 00:52:24.174] So I called her and I begged her, could I come home long enough to dress?

[00:52:24.174 – 00:52:27.114] And she had one old suit.

[00:52:27.114 – 00:52:34.794] And she had to hold the coat so I could get my arms in between the linings and the sleeve because it had sweated away, you know.

[00:52:34.794 – 00:52:37.974] And the knees were stiff where they couldn’t clean them anymore.

[00:52:37.974 – 00:52:39.934] They had washed them the last time.

[00:52:39.934 – 00:52:50.034] Perspiration, you know, and I had an old pair of alliga- An old pair of alligator shoes with holes

[00:52:50.034 – 00:52:51.754] in them, and I found some brown socks.

[00:52:51.754 – 00:52:56.054] You know, they were brown, so they wouldn’t see them, and off I went to the meeting.

[00:52:56.054 – 00:52:57.814] And I didn’t stop and take a drink.

[00:52:57.814 – 00:53:03.054] And I got out there, and it’s a beautiful place, the Bourbon, you know, and they have room for 125 cars in Dallas.

[00:53:03.054 – 00:53:09.214] And they all, they had Lincolns and Cadillacs and Chryslers, and I found out later all the ugly cars are parked in the back, you know.

[00:53:09.214 – 00:53:14.794] And I went in, and there, there are lots of folks there, about 200 people there.

[00:53:14.794 – 00:53:22.134] You know, have you ever seen a new, fresh, sick, shaking, sinking drunk come into a group of about 200 sober alcoholics?

[00:53:22.134 – 00:53:25.643] Just like a new dog coming in the neighborhood, you know.

[00:53:25.643 – 00:53:26.894] Everybody looking at him, you know.

[00:53:26.894 – 00:53:27.454] Who is he?

[00:53:27.454 – 00:53:28.904] Where did he come from, you know?

[00:53:28.904 – 00:53:33.594] When I come through the front door, there was a man there, and he stuck his hand out.

[00:53:33.594 – 00:53:35.794] I didn’t ask his name or to be introduced to him.

[00:53:35.794 – 00:53:37.054] It’s old Emery, God bless him.

[00:53:37.054 – 00:53:38.604] He stands at the door at every meeting.

[00:53:38.604 – 00:53:39.194] He stuck his hand out.

[00:53:39.194 – 00:53:41.194] He says, “My name is Emery.

[00:53:41.194 – 00:53:42.454] Come on in, son.

[00:53:42.454 – 00:53:46.374] You’re welcome.” And I hope I never forget that handshake.

[00:53:46.374 – 00:53:52.874] His hand was dry, and mine was wet, and mine slipped away, and I grabbed it again.

[00:53:52.874 – 00:53:58.674] And you know, and everybody talking, you know, and yakking, you know, and all this and all that.

[00:53:58.674 – 00:54:03.714] Pretty soon, here comes W, and the next thing I know, he grabbed me, and he ripped the only sleeve that was still attached.

[00:54:03.714 – 00:54:06.654] And he drug me into the restroom.

[00:54:06.654 – 00:54:07.574] He starts doing this.

[00:54:07.574 – 00:54:08.534] He starts searching me.

[00:54:08.534 – 00:54:11.274] Then he said, “Now blow,” and I , you know.

[00:54:11.274 – 00:54:14.594] And he said, “You’re clean.

[00:54:14.594 – 00:54:19.114] You can go back in there.” And in, in the meanwhile, word got around.

[00:54:19.114 – 00:54:23.794] We not only have a new drunk tonight, but he’s a doctor.

[00:54:23.794 – 00:54:26.674] Oh, it spread like wildfire.

[00:54:26.674 – 00:54:27.934] I’m going to tell you something.

[00:54:27.934 – 00:54:32.934] We kill more doctors in Alcoholics Anonymous before they get sober than any group in the world, you know.

[00:54:32.934 – 00:54:35.134] We got a doctor in the group.

[00:54:35.134 – 00:54:42.674] And they don’t know whether he’s an MD, you know, or whether I was a, what I was, a veterinarian or a PhD or what kind of doctor I was, you know.

[00:54:42.674 – 00:54:53.134] And I’m standing there, and pretty soon a little lady walks up to me, and she taps me on the shoulder, and she said, “Doctor?” And that’s the first time anyone had used that word as nicely

[00:54:53.134 – 00:54:54.954] in a long, long time, you know.

[00:54:54.954 – 00:55:05.104] And I said, “Yes?” And she says, “Are you a doctor?” And I said, “Yes.” And she said, “Doctor, I have a problem.” I said, “Yes?” She

[00:55:05.104 – 00:55:15.134] said, “My ride over is bothering me.” “Is it all right if

[00:55:15.134 – 00:55:17.914] I take Valiums and B12?” You know.

[00:55:17.914 – 00:55:34.154] And I looked at her and I said, “Honey, if the roots of your teeth are that long, take them.” You

[00:55:34.154 – 00:55:35.204] know, and I smarted at it.

[00:55:35.204 – 00:55:35.474] Smarted at it.

[00:55:35.474 – 00:55:40.894] Here comes W and he grabbed that other sleeve, you know.

[00:55:40.894 – 00:55:43.654] And he says, “All right.

[00:55:43.654 – 00:55:53.714] The show’s over with.” And he said, “David, I’m grateful that you’re here.” But he says, “We know each other so

[00:55:53.714 – 00:55:54.074] well.

[00:55:54.074 – 00:56:04.334] I’m going to introduce you to someone that, who has managed to stay sober from the day he found this place.”

[00:56:04.334 – 00:56:07.014] And he sat me down next to a beautiful man.

[00:56:07.985 – 00:56:09.625] I didn’t understand this man at first.

[00:56:09.625 – 00:56:11.445] I didn’t understand him at all.

[00:56:11.445 – 00:56:14.125] And he talked rough to me.

[00:56:14.125 – 00:56:20.305] And he said, “Now, sit there and shut up and listen,” and that’s awful hard for me to do.

[00:56:20.305 – 00:56:28.784] Because I was nudging him when the meeting started and I says, “When they allow you to talk around here, I’m pretty good.” He said, “Shut up.” You know.

[00:56:28.784 – 00:56:38.784] And he said, finally he says, “You see all these people here?” And he says, “You see these beautiful facilities?” He says, “Our primary purpose is to stay sober

[00:56:38.785 – 00:56:41.565] and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

[00:56:41.565 – 00:56:52.465] This is what we’re here for.” And he says, “And if you decide that you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then

[00:56:52.465 – 00:56:58.265] you can live sober one day at a time.” And he said some more things.

[00:56:58.265 – 00:57:00.305] Then he started talking about himself.

[00:57:00.305 – 00:57:10.485] He kept my attention, as the book tells us, or suggests that we do, that when we visit other alcoholics that are sick

[00:57:10.485 – 00:57:16.025] and drinking, that keep their attention focused on our own personal recovery.

[00:57:16.025 – 00:57:21.405] And he kept my attention focused on his personal recovery.

[00:57:21.405 – 00:57:28.785] And he started telling me what it used to be like with him and what happened and how it was today.

[00:57:28.785 – 00:57:33.025] And I used to come to every meeting, and I used to sit with him.

[00:57:33.025 – 00:57:37.625] And I’d go on average between five and six times a week.

[00:57:37.625 – 00:57:41.015] I haven’t varied from the day I come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:57:41.015 – 00:57:42.525] I haven’t varied.

[00:57:42.525 – 00:57:50.585] And you know, they said, “Identify yourself with somebody.” Well, I looked around to see if there was another sober Jew in the joint, you know.

[00:57:50.585 – 00:57:53.265] Well, there wasn’t any.

[00:57:53.265 – 00:57:57.895] You ever tried to find a sober alcoholic Jew in Alcoholics Anonymous in my part of the country?

[00:57:57.895 – 00:58:01.345] Uh, but I’ll let you on a little secret.

[00:58:01.345 – 00:58:04.945] You know, people say, “How come there ain’t more Jews in AA?” I’ll, I’ll tell you the secret.

[00:58:04.945 – 00:58:10.165] You know, the way people have their noses fixed and their names changed, you don’t know who in the devil you’re sitting next to.

[00:58:10.165 – 00:58:19.985] And I noticed at the end of each meeting, you know, he got up and he s- he said the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:58:19.985 – 00:58:21.945] And Gene said he couldn’t say the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:58:21.945 – 00:58:24.765] Well, now, I was never raised in our religion to say the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:58:24.765 – 00:58:25.945] They don’t use it, you know.

[00:58:25.945 – 00:58:32.205] And I remember, and I went home, and I looked at what books that I had, and finally Grace allowed me to come back home.

[00:58:32.205 – 00:58:36.705] And I couldn’t find the Lord’s Prayer anywhere.

[00:58:36.705 – 00:58:42.465] And it wasn’t in the big book, and it wasn’t in the Twelve Step book that I bought, and it wasn’t in the literature.

[00:58:42.465 – 00:58:48.285] And I remembered one time that I had to go down to the train station to pick up old prune face.

[00:58:48.285 – 00:58:51.565] And prune face, when I was drinking, was my mother-in-law.

[00:58:51.565 – 00:58:55.385] And she wouldn’t fly, and she liked to ride trains.

[00:58:55.385 – 00:58:57.515] And, and Grace told me, she says, “Now, I’m gonna tell you something.

[00:58:57.515 – 00:59:07.525] If you’ll go down and pick her up this Sunday morning and bring her home, you can go on and do what you want to today or the rest of the

[00:59:07.525 – 00:59:11.445] month, as far as I’m concerned.” And, you know, that was too good a deal to turn down.

[00:59:11.445 – 00:59:16.705] And so I went down, and I was nearly nuts trying to get a drink and wanting to drink so bad.

[00:59:16.705 – 00:59:18.085] I did sneak a couple of beers.

[00:59:18.085 – 00:59:20.585] And I was moving around, and I saw a machine.

[00:59:20.585 – 00:59:27.105] And you put a penny in it and a dime, and you push a lever, and the Lord’s Prayer comes pressed out on a penny.

[00:59:27.105 – 00:59:30.905] And I remembered I had that thing, and I started hunting for it.

[00:59:30.905 – 00:59:33.125] And I finally found it, and here it is.

[00:59:33.125 – 00:59:38.965] And I had to get a magnifying glass, magnify it, and that’s, and I memorized it.

[00:59:38.965 – 00:59:42.815] Because, you see, for the first two weeks, I didn’t say the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:59:42.815 – 00:59:43.725] I just mumbled, you know.

[00:59:43.725 – 00:59:46.765] And I memorized the Lord’s Prayer, and I was so proud.

[00:59:46.765 – 00:59:50.585] And I went to the meeting that night, and when they finished, I couldn’t wait for the meeting to be over with.

[00:59:50.585 – 01:00:01.065] And I’m saying the Lord’s Prayer, and I got to that part, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,” and I hollered, “Amen.” And

[01:00:01.065 – 01:00:04.645] the fellow next to me said, old, old SA said, he said, “What’s the matter with you?

[01:00:04.645 – 01:00:05.495] Have you been drinking?

[01:00:05.495 – 01:00:06.085] Are you drunk?

[01:00:06.085 – 01:00:07.325] There’s more to this prayer.

[01:00:07.325 – 01:00:13.465] There’s got another clause to it.” And I pulled my penny out, and I looked at it, and they had run out of room on the penny, you know.

[01:00:13.465 – 01:00:23.505] And after the meeting was over with, a little couple came up to me, and they, and they said they heard about that predicament about

[01:00:23.505 – 01:00:23.965] the prayer.

[01:00:23.965 – 01:00:26.765] And they said, “David, don’t be embarrassed.

[01:00:26.765 – 01:00:28.525] Well, I want to tell you something.

[01:00:28.525 – 01:00:31.085] That was the correct version.

[01:00:31.085 – 01:00:32.925] That’s the Catholic version.

[01:00:32.925 – 01:00:39.485] God bless you, our son.” And I said, “Hell, I got enough trouble being a Jew.

[01:00:39.485 – 01:00:50.285] What do I want fooling around with them Catholics for?” And

[01:00:50.285 – 01:01:00.365] then he said, “Read that big book.” And he says, “You’ll find out, find out for the first time in your life what’s wrong with you, the nature

[01:01:00.365 – 01:01:08.445] of the illness.” And he says, “And then it’ll put you on the search, the search within.

[01:01:08.445 – 01:01:14.245] The search within.” And so I started reading the book.

[01:01:14.245 – 01:01:24.465] And I’m grateful for the book of Alcoholics Anonymous because it, although I was raised in the medical profession, I

[01:01:24.465 – 01:01:29.745] didn’t understand the illness any more than they did, and I was practicing it, you see, any more than they did.

[01:01:29.745 – 01:01:39.945] And it sort of leaps out when it says that our understanding of the alcoholic, our understanding of the alcoholic, that if when you honestly

[01:01:39.945 – 01:01:49.905] want to, you find that you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount that you take, then you are probably alcoholic.

[01:01:49.905 – 01:01:55.725] Oh, it goes on in that particular chapter, in the fourth chapter.

[01:01:55.725 – 01:02:02.145] And it says if this be the case, then you may be suffering from an illness that only a spiritual experience can conquer.

[01:02:02.145 – 01:02:03.945] But I didn’t read it then.

[01:02:03.945 – 01:02:09.065] But I read about this mental obsession and the physical compulsion to drink alcohol.

[01:02:09.065 – 01:02:11.725] I could understand that, a physical allergy.

[01:02:11.725 – 01:02:13.585] That I could understand.

[01:02:13.585 – 01:02:15.845] I certainly could understand that.

[01:02:15.845 – 01:02:19.573] I didn’t have to worry about when I became an alcoholic.

[01:02:19.573 – 01:02:23.213] I didn’t have to worry about when I crossed over the line.

[01:02:23.213 – 01:02:27.333] You know, drinking alcohol with me is just like making love to a shark.

[01:02:27.333 – 01:02:30.093] You know, if I could get by that first kiss, I’d have it made, wouldn’t I?

[01:02:30.093 – 01:02:32.812] But there’s no way.

[01:02:32.812 – 01:02:35.093] There’s no way.

[01:02:35.093 – 01:02:43.233] You just tell, told me that I don’t ever have to sober up again, and that’s the greatest piece of news I ever heard.

[01:02:43.233 – 01:02:45.783] Amen.

[01:02:45.783 – 01:02:53.433] And I believe that the fourth chapter in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous has helped me as much besides sober alcoholics than anything that I know of.

[01:02:53.433 – 01:03:03.613] Because you see, AA’s conception of a power greater than ourselves starts on a much simpler

[01:03:03.613 – 01:03:03.973] level.

[01:03:03.973 – 01:03:06.633] Much simpler level.

[01:03:06.633 – 01:03:14.673] And you told me that I had to find a power by which I could live, a power greater than ourselves, obviously.

[01:03:14.673 – 01:03:23.073] And of course, being inquisitive, I, before I could ask the question where and how do you find this power, you said, “This is what our book is all about.

[01:03:23.073 – 01:03:24.893] This is what our fellowship is all about.

[01:03:24.893 – 01:03:34.993] Just look around you, dummy, and look and see what happens.” And you know, if, if there are any doubting Thomases here tonight, and if you think that, believe that this doesn’t

[01:03:34.993 – 01:03:38.873] work, just look at the ones behind you, in front of you, on each other.

[01:03:38.873 – 01:03:43.213] And isn’t it terrific what God is doing with such sorry material?

[01:03:43.213 – 01:03:46.793] This is a tremendous joy.

[01:03:46.793 – 01:03:48.333] A tremendous joy.

[01:03:48.333 – 01:03:52.293] And it says, this is what it’s all about.

[01:03:52.293 – 01:04:00.013] And then you told me something else, that we believe that we have written a book that is both moral and spiritual.

[01:04:00.013 – 01:04:10.533] Which meant to me, and still means to me, that if I read, believe, and start to live this program as you suggested

[01:04:10.533 – 01:04:19.153] I do in its entirety, that I don’t ever have to worry about, one day at a time, whether I’m living a moral or spiritual life.

[01:04:19.153 – 01:04:22.173] It becomes automatic.

[01:04:22.173 – 01:04:25.773] It becomes automatic, I believe.

[01:04:25.773 – 01:04:31.833] And so it started out on the long haul of sobriety, one day at a time.

[01:04:31.833 – 01:04:39.753] This fellowship has been wonderful to me as it has been to all of us, if we’ll just give it a chance.

[01:04:39.753 – 01:04:41.653] It’s been so good to me.

[01:04:41.653 – 01:04:51.873] Everything I have today, Alcoholics Anonymous has shown me the way to get it, to keep it, and

[01:04:51.873 – 01:04:52.733] to maintain it.

[01:04:52.733 – 01:04:55.932] And I am so grateful for it.

[01:04:55.932 – 01:05:03.893] My wife and I will celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:05:03.893 – 01:05:13.973] I didn’t ever think that we still would be

[01:05:13.973 – 01:05:15.313] married after I sobered up.

[01:05:15.313 – 01:05:21.353] Our two boys, we’re beginning to have a tremendous relationship.

[01:05:21.353 – 01:05:31.113] But I tell you, I had to go take a long, hard look at that chapter nine in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the family afterwards.

[01:05:31.113 – 01:05:38.153] I had to look at it hard, and I began to understand things about relationships with other people.

[01:05:38.153 – 01:05:40.113] I certainly did.

[01:05:40.113 – 01:05:50.193] You know, I was down at a meeting one night, down in East Texas, and I went to hear a fellow that

[01:05:50.193 – 01:05:53.233] you’ll hear tomorrow night at, at tomorrow night’s meeting.

[01:05:53.233 – 01:06:02.933] And I got back rather late, and it was 1:30 in the morning, and I got into where I live, and my oldest boy and his girlfriend were there, and my wife were up.

[01:06:02.933 – 01:06:05.873] And he said, “Daddy, we’ve been waiting up for you.

[01:06:05.873 – 01:06:10.623] Would you have a seat?” I said, “Sure,” but I didn’t sit down.

[01:06:10.623 – 01:06:15.973] I looked at her and I said, right off the bat, “She’s not pregnant, is she?” He said, “Oh, no, Daddy.

[01:06:15.973 – 01:06:19.293] Oh, no.” But he said, “Daddy, you better sit down.

[01:06:19.293 – 01:06:29.293] It’s gonna be hard for you to take.” I said, “Say it.” He says, “We’re gonna get married.” I said, “Fine.” He says, “But you don’t care she’s not Jewish?” I says, “No, I’ve always wanted a beautiful

[01:06:29.293 – 01:06:29.873] daughter-in-law.

[01:06:29.873 – 01:06:39.953] It doesn’t make any difference.” I said, “Son,” I says, “I found a bunch of people that didn’t care whether I was a Jew or whether I was Black or whether I was

[01:06:39.953 – 01:06:41.233] green or come from Mars.

[01:06:41.233 – 01:06:52.173] All they asked me, they says, ‘What do you want to do about your drinking?'” And I says, “I learned to live with people as a result of that.” I says, “No, this

[01:06:52.173 – 01:07:02.273] is your life, and I’m your father, and I love you for telling me.” I said, “But I’ll tell you one thing, you and her are going to have to tell your

[01:07:02.273 – 01:07:14.613] grandmother.” And

[01:07:14.613 – 01:07:15.153] they did.

[01:07:15.153 – 01:07:17.393] And she still doesn’t talk to him.

[01:07:17.393 – 01:07:27.493] And she called me up and she says, “If you hadn’t got hooked up with them Gentiles and got to drinking that whiskey

[01:07:27.493 – 01:07:36.783] and that alcohol and all that kind of stuff, he wouldn’t end up like he is today.” And I listen to her, and I love Mother.

[01:07:36.783 – 01:07:37.633] I understand her.

[01:07:37.633 – 01:07:38.873] But you know what?

[01:07:38.873 – 01:07:39.933] She’s getting a little bit better.

[01:07:39.933 – 01:07:44.053] She called me up and wished me a good journey up here this weekend.

[01:07:44.053 – 01:07:54.273] And three weeks ago, over at her house, she kissed me on the forehead, and she says, “My son, we are so grateful

[01:07:54.273 – 01:08:01.593] that you’re not drinking alcohol this day.” And that’s the first time in eight years my mother has called me her son.

[01:08:01.593 – 01:08:11.253] My father, it’s very difficult for him to understand, but I have to remember that he is a human being, too, and that he, he has his problems.

[01:08:11.253 – 01:08:13.593] He’s a wonderful and a beautiful man.

[01:08:13.593 – 01:08:22.753] And you know that when I called Alcoholics Anonymous, the phone that I used, one hour after I called WO, the phone company came to take it out.

[01:08:22.753 – 01:08:25.613] It’s still there.

[01:08:25.613 – 01:08:29.081] And I have a wonderful relationship with the phone company today.

[01:08:29.081 – 01:08:30.141] I pay my bills.

[01:08:30.141 – 01:08:40.161] The office that I’m in, the clinic, the two partners came to me approximately around about two

[01:08:40.161 – 01:08:41.911] hours after I called Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:08:41.911 – 01:08:43.931] They sent for me because I, I couldn’t stay there.

[01:08:43.931 – 01:08:44.601] I was too sick.

[01:08:44.601 – 01:08:49.581] And they tore up my lease and they said, “Get your equipment out today.

[01:08:49.581 – 01:08:51.521] Not next week, not next month.

[01:08:51.521 – 01:08:57.941] We don’t want your kind around here at all, period.” I haven’t gotten the equipment out yet.

[01:08:57.941 – 01:08:59.901] I’m still there.

[01:08:59.901 – 01:09:02.081] We haven’t signed a new lease.

[01:09:02.081 – 01:09:04.301] It’s on one day at a time.

[01:09:04.301 – 01:09:13.721] And this is terrific for a fellow like me.

[01:09:13.721 – 01:09:15.111] It’s terrific.

[01:09:15.111 – 01:09:25.321] And, you know, I had to change my attitude, my attitude about alcoholism, my attitude about sobriety, and my attitude

[01:09:25.321 – 01:09:28.401] about Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:09:28.401 – 01:09:31.441] And I love to tell this story, and I hope it doesn’t offend anyone.

[01:09:31.441 – 01:09:39.841] But this couple got married and he was six foot six and he weighed two hundred and sixty-five pounds, and she was five foot even and she weighed ninety pounds.

[01:09:39.841 – 01:09:47.701] And on their honeymoon night, why, they went up to their hotel room, you know, and he looked at her and he says, “Now, gal, take your dress off.” And she took her dress off.

[01:09:47.701 – 01:09:57.431] And he, he says, “Now, here, you get into my pants.” And so being a little old thing, she got into her pants, and their, his pants were so big, you know, why, she could just look through the fly, you know?

[01:09:57.431 – 01:10:07.041] And she looked at him, she said, “Honey,” she said, “you know your pants are too big for me.” And he says, “Okay, woman, if you remember that one thing from now on, our marriage will be a success,” you know?

[01:10:07.041 – 01:10:16.581] And she being a pretty good sport, you know, she took his pants off and reached in her suitcase and got a pair of her stretch pants and she says, “Okay, turnabout’s fair play.

[01:10:16.581 – 01:10:19.061] You get into my pants,” you know.

[01:10:19.061 – 01:10:25.161] And so this big bruiser gets into her stretch pants and gets them about the knees and he’s tugging and pulling, damn near rips them, you know.

[01:10:25.161 – 01:10:30.741] And he looks at her and he says, “Honey,” he says, “you know I can’t get in your pants.” And she said, “Okay, buster.

[01:10:30.741 – 01:10:52.561] And if you don’t change your attitude, it’s gonna be that way the rest of your life.” And

[01:10:52.561 – 01:11:00.841] you know, when I found you people as a result of changing the attitude, and I told you about this gentleman, this wonderful gentleman that kept me focused on his own recovery.

[01:11:00.841 – 01:11:11.301] Because we’re admonished that the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution and who is properly armed with facts about himself can generally win over the entire confidence of another alcoholic

[01:11:11.301 – 01:11:12.481] in the matter of a few hours.

[01:11:12.481 – 01:11:18.141] But until such an understanding has been reached, little or nothing can be done.

[01:11:18.141 – 01:11:28.581] And, you know, in the solution that we have, and almost none of us likes this self-searching, the leveling of our pride and confession of our shortcomings

[01:11:28.581 – 01:11:31.561] in order for this process to be successfully consummated.

[01:11:31.561 – 01:11:41.581] And, you know, after seeing and looking at the helplessness and the hopelessness and the futility of the kind of a life that I had been living, and after being

[01:11:41.581 – 01:11:51.841] confronted by this ex-problem drinker who was properly armed with facts about himself and who had consummated this solution, then all I had left, my friends, was to reach down

[01:11:51.841 – 01:11:55.341] and pick up this simple kit of spiritual tools.

[01:11:55.341 – 01:12:05.381] For you see, I am a firm believer, as most of us are in Alcoholics Anonymous, that we most emphatically believe that

[01:12:05.381 – 01:12:16.181] any person who can honestly, honestly look at his alcoholic problem or dilemma in the light of our experiences can recover, can

[01:12:16.181 – 01:12:24.481] recover, if he or she is willing to keep an open mind and search out all possible spiritual concepts.

[01:12:24.481 – 01:12:31.621] And that he or she will only be defeated by their own attitude of, of intolerance or belligerent denial.

[01:12:31.621 – 01:12:39.361] For no one or nobody should have any problems or troubles with the spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:12:39.361 – 01:12:48.021] For honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are essentials of our recovery, but they are indispensable.

[01:12:48.021 – 01:12:58.291] And so it’s people such as you and people in my group and A’s everywhere have shown me that love and understanding are the keys

[01:12:58.291 – 01:13:02.461] to right principles and right attitudes, and right action is the key to good living.

[01:13:02.461 – 01:13:06.441] This is certainly a good way to live, not a life of goodness.

[01:13:06.441 – 01:13:16.921] But for David, an alcoholic, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in their entirety, our 12 traditions in their entirety, and our third legacy

[01:13:16.921 – 01:13:25.461] with its 12 concepts of world service in its entirety are the keys to the kind of life I’m trying so desperately to live.

[01:13:25.461 – 01:13:35.541] You see, I have 36 steps in my own personal recovery program, that when I get to the point that I feel that I need something else or more besides our

[01:13:35.541 – 01:13:44.661] 12 steps of recovery, I gear right into the traditions and keep gearing right into the 12 concepts of world service, which gives me all in the world to do.

[01:13:44.661 – 01:13:54.581] But it is dependent on not drinking alcohol one day at a time and recovering this recovery program and God as I understand it.

[01:13:54.581 – 01:14:01.401] And so I bought the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, as I told you the first night, and my eyes were too crossed to read it.

[01:14:01.401 – 01:14:06.401] But when I got home, I noticed there was one page that’s vacant in the Big Book, and that’s the flyleaf.

[01:14:06.401 – 01:14:13.121] And there was written on April the 21st of 1967 these words: “Good luck, old partner.

[01:14:13.121 – 01:14:19.321] Your friend,” and this gentleman’s initials, the one that kept me focused on his personal recovery.

[01:14:19.321 – 01:14:29.401] And so on this May the 14th of 1971, may I most gratefully and thankfully

[01:14:29.401 – 01:14:39.501] and with all the love that I can express to each and every one of you, may I be privileged to inscribe on each and every one of your flyleafs, “Good luck,

[01:14:39.501 – 01:14:40.171] old partners.

[01:14:40.171 – 01:14:44.621] Your friend, David A.” God bless each and every one of you, and I love you so much.

[01:14:44.621 – 01:14:46.841] Thank you.

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