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[00:00:00.480 – 00:00:01.020] Thank you, Dennis.

[00:00:01.020 – 00:00:01.700] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:01.700 – 00:00:03.400] My name is David A, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:00:03.400 – 00:00:04.530] Hi.

[00:00:04.530 – 00:00:10.280] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous am I sober this day, and for this I am so thankful.

[00:00:10.280 – 00:00:34.380] And first of all, I want to thank your committee for allowing this alcoholic to be here this weekend and sit and listen to Thank

[00:00:34.380 – 00:00:34.780] you, Dennis.

[00:00:34.780 – 00:00:35.460] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:35.460 – 00:00:37.200] My name is David A, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:00:37.200 – 00:00:38.269] Hi.

[00:00:38.269 – 00:00:44.060] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous am I sober this day, and for this I am so thankful.

[00:00:44.060 – 00:00:54.360] And first of all, I want to thank your committee for allowing this alcoholic to be here this weekend and sit and listen to some tremendous presentations,

[00:00:54.360 – 00:01:04.479] questions and answers about our being and how it works and why it works, and the reason that we

[00:01:04.479 – 00:01:06.340] need to keep passing it on.

[00:01:06.340 – 00:01:13.780] And also allow this alcoholic to share this alcoholic with you and you with this alcoholic.

[00:01:13.780 – 00:01:21.820] And I want to thank Gay and Pete for picking me up at the airport and delivering me here to you wonderful people.

[00:01:21.820 – 00:01:30.360] The only thing I know about being an alcoholic is how I drank alcohol, and the only thing I know about living sober is Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:01:30.360 – 00:01:40.360] And since April the 20th of 1967, I have not found any reason whatever to leave Alcoholics Anonymous to find an easier way to live sober, a more

[00:01:40.360 – 00:01:47.400] sociably acceptable way to live sober, a mun- more fun way to live sober, nor a more comfortable way to live sober.

[00:01:47.400 – 00:01:54.759] Thank God I haven’t had to go to one of those action/reaction courses, Confrontation Movement, Related Disorders Institute.

[00:01:54.759 – 00:01:58.540] When I got to you people, my mother-in-law was a related disorder.

[00:01:58.540 – 00:02:03.120] Hang in there till your drawers fall off, baby.

[00:02:03.120 – 00:02:05.620] Sexual dysfunction seminars.

[00:02:05.620 – 00:02:11.920] If you get as old as I am and stay sober as long as I have, I do not need a sexual dysfunction seminar.

[00:02:11.920 – 00:02:15.760] I need a memory course.

[00:02:15.760 – 00:02:22.280] And the only way I know how to live sober are the, are the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:02:22.280 – 00:02:23.380] I know no other way.

[00:02:23.380 – 00:02:33.329] Well, it was on the last Sunday, and as it was read so beautifully a while ago from the portion of chapter five, that our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, what we’re like now.

[00:02:33.329 – 00:02:43.560] It was on the last Sunday in August of 1950, over thirty-seven years ago, that a group of fine, sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous invited me to come to an open AA meeting

[00:02:43.560 – 00:02:45.580] at the Suburban Group in Dallas, Texas.

[00:02:45.580 – 00:02:54.340] The Wednesday before that Sunday, I stumbled into one of Dallas’ more affluent barber shops, and I fell in this chair at this manicurist table.

[00:02:54.340 – 00:02:57.280] Now, I was more at myself that morning.

[00:02:57.280 – 00:03:00.160] Now, more at myself in those days meant that I was drinking.

[00:03:00.160 – 00:03:01.100] I wasn’t too drunk.

[00:03:01.100 – 00:03:05.380] I could sit in a chair for about ten minutes without falling out of it.

[00:03:05.380 – 00:03:09.560] I could navigate to and from the men’s room, maybe, and go out and get me another bottle of whiskey.

[00:03:09.560 – 00:03:16.080] I sat down in this chair, and this gal looked at me, and she said, “David,” and right there and then I should have known something’s wrong.

[00:03:16.080 – 00:03:17.120] She didn’t call me Doctor.

[00:03:17.120 – 00:03:28.120] She said, “David, I belong to a deal called Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have not had a drink of alcohol in a year.” And I looked at Edith, and I said, “You are a liar.” “Nobody

[00:03:28.120 – 00:03:29.220] stays sober a year.

[00:03:29.220 – 00:03:36.540] Maybe a day, maybe two days, three days at the most, but not a year.” She says, “No, I haven’t had a drink in a year.” Now, Edith looked like a drunk ought to look like.

[00:03:36.540 – 00:03:39.420] Sorry, a female-looking Dennis over here, you know.

[00:03:39.420 – 00:03:43.420] Her face wasn’t real pretty.

[00:03:43.420 – 00:03:47.000] It looked like a truck had run over it and then backed over it to see if it’d done a good job.

[00:03:47.000 – 00:03:50.280] She had big bug eyes and gaps in her teeth.

[00:03:50.280 – 00:03:59.140] And God bless her, she’d been hit in the face so many times and fallen on her face so many times drunk, and her nose had been broken so many times, it sort of leaned on the left side of her face.

[00:03:59.140 – 00:04:03.200] Now, this is back in the days before the gals used to wear pantyhose.

[00:04:03.200 – 00:04:06.940] They used to wear garter belts to pull their drawers down and keep their socks up, you know.

[00:04:06.940 – 00:04:15.580] And when she, when she was drinking, hers always trailed behind her uniform, and she’d trip and fall and drop all them manicuring bottles.

[00:04:15.580 – 00:04:19.780] Back in those days, the gals used to wear hose with seams up the back.

[00:04:19.780 – 00:04:22.260] You could always tell when Edith was drunk.

[00:04:22.260 – 00:04:24.360] The seams was in the front, and the front was in the back.

[00:04:24.360 – 00:04:34.520] But basically, the best way I can describe Edith’s looks as a drunk, in our part of the country, if your car is caught out in a hailstorm and is pretty badly beaten up, right

[00:04:34.520 – 00:04:40.100] when you get your insurance check, if you have insurance, some wise buzzard says, “Don’t get it fixed.

[00:04:40.100 – 00:04:48.460] Let it sit out in the hot sun for about three or four weeks, and all the dents will pop back out.” Her dents never popped back out.

[00:04:48.460 – 00:04:50.980] But God, she’s a great gal.

[00:04:50.980 – 00:04:55.040] But when Edith told me she had not had a drink of alcohol in a year, that got my attention.

[00:04:55.040 – 00:05:01.000] Because Edith had a bad reputation of being a mean, active, drinking drunk.

[00:05:01.000 – 00:05:03.700] And Edith was a pint drinker.

[00:05:03.700 – 00:05:08.240] And she had a big purse, and she always had two pints of whiskey in her purse.

[00:05:08.240 – 00:05:10.620] And nobody could get in that purse.

[00:05:10.620 – 00:05:12.780] And she’d kill you if you got in that purse.

[00:05:12.780 – 00:05:18.840] But when she told me she hadn’t drink in that year, I looked at her and I said, “Uh-oh, something has changed to this gal.

[00:05:18.840 – 00:05:22.660] Something has changed.” And I, and I noticed it, and that changed.

[00:05:22.660 – 00:05:32.440] Now, the change was not that dramatic that moment because I had stumbled in that shop on frequent occasions, sometimes drunker than I was that morning, sometimes not as drunk, but always drinking alcohol.

[00:05:32.440 – 00:05:37.180] But when she told me she hadn’t had a drink, I started watching her, and I noticed she’d changed.

[00:05:37.180 – 00:05:43.960] I noticed that morning when she started giving my manicure, she was buffing my nails instead of my knuckles as she used to.

[00:05:43.960 – 00:05:48.840] I looked up at her face, and her lipstick was on her lips and not her eyebrows.

[00:05:48.840 – 00:05:54.040] And I sniffed her, and she didn’t smell halfway between an Avon woman and a whiskey bottle.

[00:05:54.040 – 00:06:00.920] But more important, she did not grab her purse and say, “I’ll be back in ten minutes,” and maybe show up nine months later.

[00:06:00.920 – 00:06:04.628] But I noticed the change, and the change was in her eyes.

[00:06:04.628 – 00:06:07.588] In Alcoholics Anonymous, we have two kinds of eyes.

[00:06:07.588 – 00:06:09.348] We have those sad, sick eyes.

[00:06:09.348 – 00:06:13.168] And then we have those happy, dancing, laughing, sparkling, sober eyes.

[00:06:13.168 – 00:06:15.847] Then we have another kind of eyes, them glassy eyes.

[00:06:15.847 – 00:06:19.868] They’ll get up behind one of these things, say, I haven’t had a drink, you know, and then fall over.

[00:06:19.868 – 00:06:26.868] But her eyes were sparkling, and they were jumping, and they were laughing, and she looked like she was having a lot of fun living sober.

[00:06:26.868 – 00:06:37.108] And then she turned to another manicurist in the same shop next to the tables of hers, and she says, now, Moena here is my sponsor, and she has 15 months sober in this deal called

[00:06:37.108 – 00:06:38.348] Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:06:38.348 – 00:06:43.768] And I looked at Moena, and I said, Moena, you are a bigger liar than Goofy over here.

[00:06:43.768 – 00:06:46.268] I said, Moena, we had a drink, not.

[00:06:46.268 – 00:06:52.428] And she says, no, David, I have not had a drink of alcohol with you or anyone else or myself in 15 continuous months.

[00:06:52.428 – 00:06:56.248] Edith has not had a drink of alcohol in 12 continuous months.

[00:06:56.248 – 00:07:00.868] And we have an open meeting this Sunday at 5.30 in the afternoon.

[00:07:00.868 – 00:07:11.068] And it’s open to this meeting, and it’s open so that those who are not members of Alcoholics Anonymous can come and see how an alcoholic

[00:07:11.068 – 00:07:19.728] lives sober in the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous and to find out what Alcoholics Anonymous is and what Alcoholics Anonymous is not.

[00:07:19.728 – 00:07:29.928] And believe it or not, the greatest challenge that we have right this very essence of time within Alcoholics Anonymous all over this world, that there are hundreds of thousands

[00:07:29.928 – 00:07:37.748] of our members who do not know what Alcoholics Anonymous is not, that we’re not all things for all people.

[00:07:37.748 – 00:07:41.608] The singleness of purpose has brought us where we are today.

[00:07:41.608 – 00:07:44.548] But I had many, many years to go before I was to realize this.

[00:07:44.548 – 00:07:54.668] And she says, although we do not give any honors or awards or medals for our sobriety, it is the custom of the group being it is the last Sunday of the month that after

[00:07:54.668 – 00:08:01.228] the AA meeting, they have a sort of a little birthday celebration for those who have one or more years of continuous sobriety.

[00:08:01.228 – 00:08:07.048] And we would like for you and your wife to come to that meeting and stay afterwards for that little birthday celebration.

[00:08:07.048 – 00:08:17.068] And I thought that the only reason that people such as you would invite someone such as me to come to one of your AA meetings and stay to one of your AA functions, that you needed

[00:08:17.068 – 00:08:24.288] to have some good looking, outstanding and successful professional man come and upgrade you crazies in the community.

[00:08:24.288 – 00:08:26.968] And I was glad to come help you.

[00:08:26.968 – 00:08:33.968] So I went home and I told my wife and God she was thrilled because people had long since quit asking us around.

[00:08:33.968 – 00:08:44.248] My wife Grace used to ask me, why isn’t it we’re not asked to the outdoor barbecues and square dances and round dances and nightclub supper parties and, you know, and card parties and swimming

[00:08:44.248 – 00:08:48.208] pool parties and pin the tail on the donkey, whatever drunks do on Saturday night.

[00:08:48.208 – 00:08:49.748] And I said, it’s you.

[00:08:49.748 – 00:08:50.348] It’s you.

[00:08:50.348 – 00:08:58.608] I said, every time we’re asked to go out on Saturday night, you start on me on the Monday before and you start screaming.

[00:08:58.608 – 00:08:59.848] You’re not going to drink.

[00:08:59.848 – 00:09:01.308] You’re not going to get drunk, are you?

[00:09:01.308 – 00:09:05.308] You wake me up out of a sound sleep five o’clock the next morning screaming.

[00:09:05.308 – 00:09:07.028] Did you hear what I said?

[00:09:07.028 – 00:09:13.468] And you keep it up Tuesday, Tuesday night, Wednesday, Wednesday night, Thursday, Thursday night, Friday, Friday night.

[00:09:13.468 – 00:09:18.768] And what a tremendous price society has had to pay, is paying, and I guess will always pay.

[00:09:18.768 – 00:09:23.568] Those who love us, those who hate us, those who do not even care we exist on this earth.

[00:09:23.568 – 00:09:32.388] What a tremendous price those people are paying and will pay to find out that the more you scream at our kind about our drinking of alcohol, the more we’re going to drink.

[00:09:32.388 – 00:09:39.808] And I said, and furthermore, when we get to where we’re supposed to get to, before I can even park the car, you’re out of the car.

[00:09:39.808 – 00:09:42.308] You run in, you grab the host and the hostess.

[00:09:42.308 – 00:09:49.708] You chase them out of the kitchen, through the den, in the backyard, in the alley, in the bushes, in the neighborhood, in the garbage, screaming, don’t you give him a drink?

[00:09:49.708 – 00:09:53.008] Woman, you’re sick.

[00:09:53.008 – 00:09:54.148] That’s what’s wrong with you.

[00:09:54.148 – 00:09:58.228] But through tear-filled eyes, she said, are we going to the meeting?

[00:09:58.228 – 00:09:59.128] And I said, yes.

[00:09:59.128 – 00:10:06.388] And so that Sunday morning, I got up at 5.30 in the morning to get ready to go to an AA meeting 5.30 that afternoon.

[00:10:06.388 – 00:10:12.008] Well, now, what does a good self-respectful drinking drunk do when he gets up 5.30 on Sunday morning?

[00:10:12.008 – 00:10:13.488] Drinks whiskey, that’s what he does.

[00:10:13.488 – 00:10:15.348] Let’s face it, it’s very simple.

[00:10:15.348 – 00:10:18.208] Golfers golf, fishermen fish, drunks drink.

[00:10:18.208 – 00:10:19.248] There’s no big mystery.

[00:10:19.248 – 00:10:23.398] And I started sucking on a brand new bottle of whiskey.

[00:10:23.398 – 00:10:26.948] You know how it is when you take that first drink, that gets your breathing started.

[00:10:26.948 – 00:10:29.778] Then that second drink regulates your breathing.

[00:10:29.778 – 00:10:33.368] Then that third drink goes down to both heels and just sets you there.

[00:10:33.368 – 00:10:36.408] Now you’re ready to do some real drinking, aren’t you?

[00:10:36.408 – 00:10:43.808] And I’m drinking, and I’m looking up at the birds and the bees and the trees and the sky, and I’m hearing the neighbor screaming, Johnny, get dressed.

[00:10:43.808 – 00:10:44.908] We’ll be late for church.

[00:10:44.908 – 00:10:46.708] And I said, oh, them sick folks.

[00:10:46.708 – 00:10:49.308] They don’t know what living really is.

[00:10:49.308 – 00:10:59.348] And then I went in, and I drank about half of that fifth of whiskey, put the other half of the fifth in the trunk of my car because I knew at that time that I was going

[00:10:59.348 – 00:11:07.468] to be required to have another drink of alcohol later on that day, not knowing the exact reason until I came to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:11:07.468 – 00:11:17.988] And I’m one of these that firmly believes that if and when an alcoholic comes to us, that until and unless that alcoholic is willing to find out what’s wrong with that alcoholic,

[00:11:17.988 – 00:11:22.408] that alcoholic will never be able to find out what can get right with that alcoholic.

[00:11:22.408 – 00:11:30.148] And I went in, and I bathed, and I shaved, and I put on everything rich and nice looking to impress those poor, sick people in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:11:30.148 – 00:11:38.868] Put on a beautiful brand new tailor-made suit, white on white monogram shirt, monogram handkerchief, monogram tie, monogram drawers.

[00:11:38.868 – 00:11:48.008] Put on my diamond ring, my diamond watch, and the trademark of every good self-respectful high-rolling drinking drunk, a brand new pair of custom-made alligator shoes.

[00:11:48.008 – 00:11:51.268] I looked just like a used car salesman.

[00:11:51.268 – 00:11:57.688] And at 10.30 in the morning, I’m out in my long Roadmaster Buick honking the horn.

[00:11:57.688 – 00:12:07.708] And out comes my wife with the rollers in her hair, and she has on it’s that all your fault kimono that they just love to live in and dwell in and

[00:12:07.708 – 00:12:09.448] die in and cry in.

[00:12:09.448 – 00:12:13.440] If I hadn’t have married you, I ha- wouldn’t have gotten down to this.

[00:12:13.440 – 00:12:18.720] To where she’d lost the string around the middle and it’s pinned together with a big baby diaper pin.

[00:12:18.720 – 00:12:28.320] And she’s pulled all the threading and the patting and the fuzzing and the buttons off the front, and the front’s just covered with tear stains and cigarette burns.

[00:12:28.320 – 00:12:35.740] In Alcoholics Anonymous, us loving drunks call that the, lovingly, the Al-Anon’s designer housecoat.

[00:12:35.740 – 00:12:48.080] And

[00:12:48.080 – 00:12:52.360] my loving wife looked at me in a very quiet and kindly and loving voice.

[00:12:52.360 – 00:13:02.360] She screamed out, “What do you want, you sorry drunk?” Meanwhile, all the neighbors had gathered out, and her side is lined up over here, and my side is lined

[00:13:02.360 – 00:13:03.100] up over here.

[00:13:03.100 – 00:13:13.400] And I can still hear the fine ladies of the neighborhood saying, “Isn’t it a shame that such a beautiful and fine lady and the mother of two beautiful little boys married

[00:13:13.400 – 00:13:19.420] to such a sorry, no good drunk like him?” And my bunch over here hollering out, “Let her have it, David.

[00:13:19.420 – 00:13:26.280] Let her have it.” And that used to be the weekend entertainment in every neighborhood we lived in.

[00:13:26.280 – 00:13:31.060] We moved twenty-four times before we come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:13:31.060 – 00:13:41.080] Sometimes at midnight, sometimes at high noon, sometimes at daybreak, sometimes ahead of the sheriff, sometimes with the sheriff, sometimes behind the sheriff.

[00:13:41.080 – 00:13:42.280] Just kept moving.

[00:13:42.280 – 00:13:51.920] I said, “Let’s go to the meeting,” and she says, “It doesn’t get started for seven more hours, you stupid drunk.” And with that, she turned on her heels and went back into the house.

[00:13:51.920 – 00:13:57.380] And that started seven tough hours because I violated a very serious code in my drinking that day.

[00:13:57.380 – 00:14:01.599] Here it was Sunday, and I’m sucking on the only bottle of alcohol that I have.

[00:14:01.599 – 00:14:03.400] I had drank half of it.

[00:14:03.400 – 00:14:05.140] The other half was in the trunk of the car.

[00:14:05.140 – 00:14:07.020] I knew I was going to have to have me a drink.

[00:14:07.020 – 00:14:11.880] But I was one of them kind of drinking drunks that when I drank, I rolled her all the way.

[00:14:11.880 – 00:14:20.600] And one of the biggest problems I had before I come to Alcoholics Anonymous, that people used to pull me off my drunks green, and I was not through drinking.

[00:14:20.600 – 00:14:30.820] And I’d come in and I’d cry and I’d paw my foot, and I’d make promises and I’d make pledges, and I’d wait till they tucked some more money in my shirt pocket

[00:14:30.820 – 00:14:35.780] or a check, and as soon as they turned their back, I’d flee to finish the drunk.

[00:14:35.780 – 00:14:38.260] And I was a stay away from home kind of drunk.

[00:14:38.260 – 00:14:39.060] Not on purpose.

[00:14:39.060 – 00:14:46.320] I’d get drunk, and I’d end up in countries that I never even knew existed in the world with people I never saw before in my life.

[00:14:46.320 – 00:14:52.340] Sometimes with clothes on, sometimes without clothes on, sometimes with money, sometimes without money.

[00:14:52.340 – 00:14:55.200] I remember one time I was gone nine months.

[00:14:55.200 – 00:14:57.240] No one knew where I was.

[00:14:57.240 – 00:15:03.560] My mother, my father, my wife, my sons, my patients, my enemies, my friends, and no one knew where I was.

[00:15:03.560 – 00:15:13.800] And I come running in the house with the same clothes on I guess I’d been in for around about five months, and I asked my wife this brilliant question: “Did anybody call?”

[00:15:13.800 – 00:15:20.439] And that does not make for good marriage relationships, I’ll tell you.

[00:15:20.439 – 00:15:30.460] I knew that it, and I knew that I didn’t want to touch that whiskey in the trunk, and I knew if I wanted to get some more, being Sunday, I’d either have to call a taxi cab and find a

[00:15:30.460 – 00:15:30.980] bootlegger.

[00:15:30.980 – 00:15:41.100] And I knew, and so I just found just enough and just enough around the house and outside in the bushes, you know, just to kind of nurse me along and keep the edge going.

[00:15:41.100 – 00:15:45.600] Because you see, I knew that if, if I went and got drunk, I’d blow the deal.

[00:15:45.600 – 00:15:53.940] Because then I knew that those drunks that were sober and members and, uh, that, in other words, my ego demanded that I take my wife to that meeting.

[00:15:53.940 – 00:16:03.990] And the reason my ego demanded that I take my wife to that meeting, just in case it’s those two ladies who said they were alcoholic and that they were sober and that they were members of Alcoholics

[00:16:03.990 – 00:16:11.980] Anonymous, and they invited us to come to meet some more people who would say they were alcoholic and that they were sober and that they were members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:16:11.980 – 00:16:22.020] Just in case those people had a mild suspicion that I may have a minor problem with alcohol, I wanted to bring them the reason and show them the reason, and that was my wife.

[00:16:22.020 – 00:16:28.159] And I knew if I continued the deal, I’d blow the deal, and them drunks would be on me just like gum on the heel of your shoe.

[00:16:28.159 – 00:16:36.960] Because when I got out of the service the first time in nineteen forty-seven, the sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous in Dallas, Texas, tried to net me.

[00:16:36.960 – 00:16:39.340] They tried to net me in forty-eight.

[00:16:39.340 – 00:16:41.000] They tried to net me in forty-nine.

[00:16:41.000 – 00:16:46.740] They tried to net me in January of fifty, and they thought they set the trap on the last Sunday of August of nineteen fifty.

[00:16:46.740 – 00:16:54.280] So I found just enough to nurse me and keep the edge on, and finally at four thirty, I honked the horn and here she came and off we went.

[00:16:54.280 – 00:16:55.900] And we went in.

[00:16:55.900 – 00:16:56.780] We, I parked the car.

[00:16:56.780 – 00:16:57.960] We went in this group.

[00:16:57.960 – 00:17:07.980] There must have been about eighty members of Alcoholics Anonymous and their wives and the kids and the poodle or two jumping up and down, and everybody smoking cigarettes and grinning and laughing and scratching and hugging

[00:17:07.980 – 00:17:08.940] and kissing.

[00:17:08.940 – 00:17:20.480] And I stepped back then I looked at those people and I said, “By gosh, if they’re alcoholic and they are not drinking alcohol and they are that happy, then they have to be on dope.” And

[00:17:20.480 – 00:17:30.620] then I looked around and I saw all them signs in an A group and I says, “My God, I’m in a kindergarten.” And then I saw but for the grace of God my head duck because I knew at that

[00:17:30.620 – 00:17:34.840] time that I was not living according to dictates of God’s will for a human being.

[00:17:34.840 – 00:17:46.640] And I’m one of these that firmly believes that if and when an alcoholic comes to us, even though many of us come to Alcoholics Anonymous without a full string of lights, that

[00:17:46.640 – 00:17:56.220] after we get here, after we get physically comfortable from alcohol, that deep down inside every one of us know this.

[00:17:56.220 – 00:18:05.100] That if there’s one failing that many of us fail to remember is that every one of us were born human beings first.

[00:18:05.100 – 00:18:15.160] If this be the case, not the case, our spiritual recovery would not be what it is today within us.

[00:18:15.160 – 00:18:23.940] I defy any alcoholic, any place, anywhere, to bring me their birth certificate and show me where they were born alcoholic.

[00:18:23.940 – 00:18:28.980] If you look at your birth certificate, it says you’re born alive.

[00:18:28.980 – 00:18:35.620] Which means as a human being, we come with everything that human beings come with.

[00:18:35.620 – 00:18:45.860] As I said before, if this be not the case, then Alcoholics Anonymous would not be the most precious, the finest recovery program and fellowship

[00:18:45.860 – 00:18:49.340] for an alcoholic that the world has seen, is seen, or ever will see.

[00:18:49.340 – 00:18:56.200] Because Alcoholics Ano-onymous does something that formalized, organized religion has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:56.200 – 00:18:59.600] Medicine has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:59.600 – 00:19:02.140] Psychiatry has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:19:02.140 – 00:19:05.500] Social services has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:19:05.500 – 00:19:09.080] Government agencies has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:19:09.080 – 00:19:12.160] Treatment modalities has not, is not, will ever be able

[00:19:12.319 – 00:19:12.599] Do it.

[00:19:12.599 – 00:19:16.619] Human willpower has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:19:16.619 – 00:19:19.719] Hypnosis has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:19:19.719 – 00:19:23.679] Acupuncture has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:19:23.679 – 00:19:31.939] Because Alcoholics Anonymous reaches down into the innermost finest depths of a human being that comes with each and every one of us at birth.

[00:19:31.939 – 00:19:41.939] This most precious little thing as a human being that after we get physically sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, this precious little thing says to us

[00:19:41.939 – 00:19:45.959] in time, “Thank you, little alcoholic, for not taking a drink of alcohol today.

[00:19:45.959 – 00:19:50.379] Thank you, little alcoholic, for finding a way to have a reasonably good night’s sleep.

[00:19:50.379 – 00:20:00.579] But more important, thank you, little alcoholic, for finding a group of people who love you no matter what you have done, what you are doing, or what you ever

[00:20:00.579 – 00:20:04.979] will do.” And this is where the great power of our society lies.

[00:20:04.979 – 00:20:08.059] One drunk talking to another.

[00:20:08.059 – 00:20:11.559] But I had many, many years to go before I was to realize this.

[00:20:11.559 – 00:20:15.319] And I find, so I found just enough to nurse me along, you know.

[00:20:15.319 – 00:20:17.299] As I said, I walked in.

[00:20:17.299 – 00:20:27.379] Then I saw what I then believed in that group to be, right this very essence of time, the most dangerous sign that you can put in an AA group, and that’s the one that says, “Think.”

[00:20:27.379 – 00:20:32.859] Because it’s dangerous for our kind of folks to think, drunk, sober, or dead.

[00:20:32.859 – 00:20:43.319] And if you don’t believe it, you pat a little drunk on the head and tell him how he or she is good they’re doing in AA and out of AA, and let them get on the corner and start thinking for themselves,

[00:20:43.319 – 00:20:45.959] and they’ll get drunker than an eight dollar bill on you.

[00:20:45.959 – 00:20:47.339] They blew a whistle.

[00:20:47.339 – 00:20:47.899] They hollered.

[00:20:47.899 – 00:20:48.679] They did something.

[00:20:48.679 – 00:20:54.899] Everybody went in the meeting, and I went, and I sat on the back row to see and look those folks over to see what kind of help they needed.

[00:20:54.899 – 00:21:03.338] The first talker got up, and it was a woman, and I fell out of my chair because that’s the lyingest, cheating-est person I’d ever been around in my life.

[00:21:03.338 – 00:21:11.039] And that lady had nerve enough to stand up in front of eighty people and say she was sober, sane, in her right mind, and had not had a drink of alcohol in a year.

[00:21:11.039 – 00:21:21.039] And I jumped up, and I screamed out, “You are a liar.” And somebody said, “Shut up.” You know how a wet drunk answers you

[00:21:21.039 – 00:21:22.159] when you tell him, “Shut up”?

[00:21:22.159 – 00:21:25.719] “Make me.” Well, they had enough in there to make me.

[00:21:25.719 – 00:21:29.779] And then that woman started talking about a miracle, miracle, miracle.

[00:21:29.779 – 00:21:37.249] What seemed to me like ten minutes on the one word miracle, but after I got sober and I looked back in my life, I realized maybe it’s three seconds, four seconds.

[00:21:37.249 – 00:21:38.599] I couldn’t stand it.

[00:21:38.599 – 00:21:42.499] This time I tried to get up on the chair, fell off of it three or four times.

[00:21:42.499 – 00:21:49.759] Finally got up, held on the wall, pointed a finger, screamed at her, “Tell it, you big liar.” And this time the put down, the shut up was firmer.

[00:21:49.759 – 00:21:55.039] And then that lady said as a result of the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, she caught Christ back in her life.

[00:21:55.039 – 00:22:05.179] And if anyone who comes to Alcoholics Anonymous, unless they found that Christ is the truth and Jesus is their power greater than themselves, that there was no way in this world that they could stay sober

[00:22:05.179 – 00:22:06.319] in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:22:06.319 – 00:22:16.459] And I said to myself at that time, “What a heck of a trick to pull on a Jew.” That y’all invited me to this deal

[00:22:16.459 – 00:22:21.579] to convert me, and if this is what you were, I needed a drink real bad.

[00:22:21.579 – 00:22:28.299] And I’m asked all the time all over this world, how come there are not any more Jews in Alcoholics Anonymous than what there is?

[00:22:28.299 – 00:22:29.979] Well, you see, it’s very simple.

[00:22:29.979 – 00:22:35.919] You see, the way people have their noses fixed and their names changed, you don’t know who you’re sitting next to in an AA meeting.

[00:22:35.919 – 00:22:45.659] But my mind closed, and I didn’t hear anything else that was said at that meeting because I violated a very serious code in my drinking and my living.

[00:22:45.659 – 00:22:52.199] Because I started drinking with, working with, getting drunk with, fighting with, cheating with the black and the white wino, which was then skid row.

[00:22:52.199 – 00:22:55.279] It’s skid row today, and I guess it’ll always be skid row in Dallas, Texas.

[00:22:55.279 – 00:22:58.019] And I lived on three skid rows in my lifetime.

[00:22:58.019 – 00:23:03.459] One for over six years, one for over four and a half years, but the last one, fourteen months, was the toughest.

[00:23:03.459 – 00:23:08.659] And I am not going to stand up here tonight and lead a blow by blow through skid row.

[00:23:08.659 – 00:23:18.719] The skid rows that I lived on, there was no night and there was no day, and there was no sky, and there was no sun, and there was no moon, and there were no stars, and there were no clouds,

[00:23:18.719 – 00:23:22.419] and there were no seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.

[00:23:22.419 – 00:23:24.919] Just total inner and outer blackness and darkness.

[00:23:24.919 – 00:23:29.539] And the best way I can describe that kind of an existence is just bodies and feet.

[00:23:29.539 – 00:23:32.359] And you don’t care if you live, you don’t care if you die.

[00:23:32.359 – 00:23:34.959] You don’t care if you eat, you don’t care if you don’t eat.

[00:23:34.959 – 00:23:37.979] You don’t care if you sleep, you don’t care if you stay awake.

[00:23:37.979 – 00:23:41.499] You don’t care if you see your loved ones, you don’t care if you don’t see your loved ones.

[00:23:41.499 – 00:23:44.259] You just don’t care.

[00:23:44.259 – 00:23:46.139] And an alcoholic cannot stay on skid row.

[00:23:46.139 – 00:23:52.039] An alcoholic has got to get off of skid row because an alcoholic will lie about that alcoholic’s drinking.

[00:23:52.039 – 00:23:54.399] An alcoholic will hide that alcoholic’s bottle.

[00:23:54.399 – 00:24:00.259] And I’ll tell you right now, if you don’t share your bottle down on the row, you’re not long for this earth, I don’t mind telling you.

[00:24:00.259 – 00:24:07.219] And I did not have to be down there because I came from one of the finest families that God ever put on this earth.

[00:24:07.219 – 00:24:13.979] As a son, I was blessed with the most beautiful mother and father that any son could ever wish for, hope for, desire for.

[00:24:13.979 – 00:24:23.079] A mother and father who dedicated their two lives to give the two sons that were born to that marriage everything that was denied them when they were growing up.

[00:24:23.079 – 00:24:33.279] And if one of the sons is going to become an alcoholic, I do not know of a better deal when you’ve got a mother and father that’s willing to go to any length to keep you from hurting and keep you from suffering.

[00:24:33.279 – 00:24:39.929] And fourteen and a half years before I got sober in the religion my mother and father were born in, lived in, died in, buried in.

[00:24:39.929 – 00:24:45.639] They lit the candles of the dead and said the prayers of the dead for seven consecutive days.

[00:24:45.639 – 00:24:54.519] And on the eighth day, they said the final prayer of death, snuffed out the flame in the candle, and as far as they were concerned, I was dead.

[00:24:54.519 – 00:24:59.639] That I was no longer alive in their minds on this earth.

[00:24:59.639 – 00:25:04.479] And that was the greatest thing in the world they could have done for them about me.

[00:25:04.479 – 00:25:06.559] That was total release.

[00:25:06.559 – 00:25:10.979] And I had no communication with them for nineteen years total.

[00:25:10.979 – 00:25:14.639] After I got sober in Alcoholics Anonymous…

[00:25:14.639 – 00:25:22.935] And beginning to take and try to live the steps in the recovery program in order in which they’re written and they follow.

[00:25:22.935 – 00:25:28.555] And then I got to the fourth step, and I was told to write my inventory.

[00:25:28.555 – 00:25:38.635] And I always thought that one grew spiritually how humble one was on one’s knees, in sackcloth and ashes, and begging

[00:25:38.635 – 00:25:41.715] God forgiveness for everything bad that we’ve done.

[00:25:41.715 – 00:25:49.035] But I read in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous how we grow spiritually in AA.

[00:25:49.035 – 00:25:55.675] That resentment is the number one offender, and from it stems all sorts of spiritual disease.

[00:25:55.675 – 00:25:56.475] Now, what do we mean?

[00:25:56.475 – 00:26:01.695] First we resent, then we get mad, then we get angry, then we get frustrated, then we feel sorry for ourselves.

[00:26:01.695 – 00:26:08.495] And until we overcome the spiritual malady, only then will we straighten out mentally and physically.

[00:26:08.495 – 00:26:16.795] Now, there isn’t an alcoholic in this meeting right this very second that didn’t straighten out physically before we got here, many, many times.

[00:26:16.795 – 00:26:18.535] But why couldn’t we straighten out physically?

[00:26:18.535 – 00:26:22.515] Because we had no way to straighten out mentally as an alcoholic.

[00:26:22.515 – 00:26:31.275] And so why, why are we sober if we’re living the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous and not drinking?

[00:26:31.275 – 00:26:37.795] It is because we are overcoming the spiritual malady one day at a time.

[00:26:37.795 – 00:26:47.795] And when I got to that fourth step, and I started writing about the resentments and the hates that I had against my mother and father because of the

[00:26:47.795 – 00:26:50.195] manner in which they treated my brothers opposite to me.

[00:26:50.195 – 00:27:00.675] And when I put those resentments down, and I looked at them honestly, I

[00:27:00.675 – 00:27:10.715] found out that up until the time my mother and father prayed me dead, they were the worst parents that I could have ever possibly have had because

[00:27:10.715 – 00:27:12.195] they never allowed me to fall.

[00:27:12.195 – 00:27:14.615] They broke every fall.

[00:27:14.615 – 00:27:20.875] And yet I could not fault them because they were doing the best they knew how.

[00:27:20.875 – 00:27:22.535] I certainly couldn’t.

[00:27:22.535 – 00:27:27.334] But I had many, many years to go before I was to realize all this.

[00:27:27.334 – 00:27:29.235] I certainly did.

[00:27:29.235 – 00:27:31.295] I learned a lot of things down on skid row.

[00:27:31.295 – 00:27:33.835] Never got– Started drinking down there ten and a half years of age.

[00:27:33.835 – 00:27:35.315] Started drinking Bay Rum and wine.

[00:27:35.315 – 00:27:36.335] That was the standard fare.

[00:27:36.335 – 00:27:43.775] Later on, as I grew older and physically and got more money in my pocket, I’d go from that Bay Rum and that wine to that good stuff and never miss a lick.

[00:27:43.775 – 00:27:48.055] Come back down from that good stuff down to Gypsy Rose and Thunderbird, never miss a lick.

[00:27:48.055 – 00:27:50.115] I don’t know about anybody in here.

[00:27:50.115 – 00:27:52.475] I wasn’t drinking it because of the price of it.

[00:27:52.475 – 00:27:54.215] I wasn’t drinking it because of the smell of it.

[00:27:54.215 – 00:27:57.535] I wasn’t drinking it because it, it was socially acceptable.

[00:27:57.535 – 00:28:07.295] I drank it because I liked what it did to me and with me and for me when it got in and down and through me, and I liked what it allowed me to do to you or against you when it got in and down and through me.

[00:28:07.295 – 00:28:17.315] And little did I realize that the first drink of alcohol that I took, it affected this alcoholic head that says, “David, every chance you’re going to get, you’re going to take a drink of alcohol to reproduce

[00:28:17.315 – 00:28:20.455] that initial effect.” And I certainly did not know this.

[00:28:20.455 – 00:28:23.035] I learned a lot of other things down on skid row.

[00:28:23.035 – 00:28:27.095] Never get your back up against a wall, didn’t have a back door window you could jump out of.

[00:28:27.095 – 00:28:32.115] And if you drank that wine like I did, it’d hang you without a rope, I don’t mind telling you.

[00:28:32.115 – 00:28:35.935] If you smoke or eat anything, keep both hands free so we can hit and run.

[00:28:35.935 – 00:28:38.035] I’ve always been five foot six.

[00:28:38.035 – 00:28:39.735] I was born five foot six.

[00:28:39.735 – 00:28:43.154] And I’d drink that juice, and I’d be seven foot tall.

[00:28:43.154 – 00:28:46.235] I’ve had hundreds of fights, never won a one.

[00:28:46.235 – 00:28:48.815] My nose has been where my navel is.

[00:28:48.815 – 00:28:50.415] My navel’s been where my right ear is.

[00:28:50.415 – 00:28:51.535] I’ve been all rearranged.

[00:28:51.535 – 00:28:57.575] When I was fourteen, fifteen, sixteen years of age, ran off and joined Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

[00:28:57.575 – 00:29:06.375] Back in those days, a Ringling show was the finest show under canvas in the entire world, and it would have been a thrill for a youngster to go with the circus in those days.

[00:29:06.375 – 00:29:08.755] But I went because you could drink, and you could fight.

[00:29:08.755 – 00:29:12.575] And I look around here, and I don’t see any circus-looking drinkers.

[00:29:12.575 – 00:29:21.835] I learned to drink the most beautiful concoction in the circus that’s ever been devised by a man called Green Lizard Circus Style, a tremendous drink.

[00:29:21.835 – 00:29:25.515] Elixir of sodium bromide and Lucky Tiger Hair Tonic.

[00:29:25.515 – 00:29:32.855] And I used to drink that stuff, and I’d see Bambi and those animals in Technicolor long before Walt Disney ever put them on screen.

[00:29:32.855 – 00:29:37.754] But I’m trying to live three codes of living in those days.

[00:29:37.754 – 00:29:47.795] I’m trying to live the code of living that society was demanding that I live, to go to school and become a useful human being and not end up in jails and gooney roosts and missions and try to be

[00:29:47.795 – 00:29:50.515] of service to my God and my country and my fellow man.

[00:29:50.515 – 00:29:55.135] Then I’m trying to live the code of living my mother and father wanted me to live, and they had all the money.

[00:29:55.135 – 00:30:05.635] And if you had already been in all the trouble I had been in, was in, and getting ready to get into, it takes a lot of money to get you out, so you can get back in it again.

[00:30:05.635 – 00:30:10.375] And then I’m trying to live the code of living that alcohol was demanding on my life, and you’re way ahead of me.

[00:30:10.375 – 00:30:12.535] You know which one won out.

[00:30:12.535 – 00:30:13.435] And so here I am.

[00:30:13.435 – 00:30:14.815] I’m sitting on the back row.

[00:30:14.815 – 00:30:16.295] There’s no window.

[00:30:16.295 – 00:30:17.695] There’s no door to jump out.

[00:30:17.695 – 00:30:21.575] That woman talking about Christ, and I want a drink so bad it’s killing me.

[00:30:21.575 – 00:30:31.595] And every time I stood up to walk through those eighty people to go out to the trunk of my car to get me a drink of whiskey, it looked like eighty people stood up, turned around, pointed their fingers at

[00:30:31.595 – 00:30:41.635] me, and said, “Shut up and sit here and listen, and this is for you.” And I hated every member of Alcoholics Anonymous that, that was in that meeting and the horse and wagons that brung them

[00:30:41.635 – 00:30:42.635] cross-country.

[00:30:42.635 – 00:30:48.135] And I made a deal with them people in Alcoholics Anonymous right there and then.

[00:30:48.135 – 00:30:58.135] If they were not going to give me a good drink of alcohol right there and then in the meeting and let me drink it in the meeting or to go out to my car and take a real good drink and come back in, that I was not

[00:30:58.135 – 00:31:00.795] going to listen to anything that those people had to say.

[00:31:00.795 – 00:31:03.935] And that deal darn near killed me.

[00:31:03.935 – 00:31:14.015] And it wasn’t until I come to Alcoholics Anonymous seventeen years later, a hulk of a human being, and I hope I never forget it, and I come

[00:31:14.015 – 00:31:17.195] in, and they shove the book of Alcoholics Anonymous in my hand.

[00:31:17.195 – 00:31:27.195] May I remind every member of Alcoholics Anonymous in this meeting right this very second, every Al-Anon, if we have some Alateens, and if there’s any guests

[00:31:27.195 – 00:31:36.835] here that are not members of any of the cooperating fellowships- But our friends, it is the only book in print with the two words on it.

[00:31:36.835 – 00:31:41.215] There’s not another book like it, greater than, more than, less than.

[00:31:41.215 – 00:31:43.375] If it’s not it, it is not it.

[00:31:43.375 – 00:31:53.375] Now, I do not know about you, but I wonder how many of us stop and realize that when we admit to or tell anyone in AA or

[00:31:53.375 – 00:32:03.415] out of AA that we’re members of Alcoholics Anonymous, how many times do we stop and realize that when we do that, we, we admit we are the results of what’s in that book?

[00:32:03.415 – 00:32:12.394] Because within the pages and the covers of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous is the entire recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it’s not taken out of context.

[00:32:12.394 – 00:32:22.415] Now, I don’t know about you, but tonight when I retire, after I take my 10-step inventory of this day about David and then turn

[00:32:22.415 – 00:32:32.475] to the God of my understanding and thank Him for allowing a monkey like me to live sober this day in spite of me, I ask myself, what kind of member of Alcoholics Anonymous have I lived this day?

[00:32:32.475 – 00:32:36.754] Am I one of these who’s had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps?

[00:32:36.754 – 00:32:46.855] Or am I one of these who wants you to believe that I’ve had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, that can quote all the pages and all the promises and all the commas and all the

[00:32:46.855 – 00:32:55.115] facts and all this and all that and look real good on the outside but got a concrete block in the middle of the belly big enough to land a DC-10?

[00:32:55.115 – 00:33:05.165] Have I lived this kind of day that it’s a privilege to sit at the bedside of a wet drunk or sit and talk with each other in Alcoholics

[00:33:05.165 – 00:33:15.175] Anonymous, those that are having a tough day living sober, and sit down particularly to the wet drunk and just tell him about David, of what it used to be like, what

[00:33:15.175 – 00:33:15.755] it’s like now?

[00:33:15.755 – 00:33:25.555] Have I lived that kind of life and that drunk looks at me and he says, “Yes, I want what you people seem to have, and I’m willing to pick up my bed and walk with you”?

[00:33:25.555 – 00:33:35.775] And every night I take that inventory, I find that I fall far short for what this alcoholic believes to be

[00:33:35.775 – 00:33:40.175] the true benefits of our recovery program.

[00:33:40.175 – 00:33:50.535] And in Alcoholics Anonymous, we’re asked to share our experiences, not our opinions, because we find as a result of our experiences in Alcoholics Anonymous that opinions

[00:33:50.535 – 00:33:57.215] in many, many instances have a tendency to make sick people sicker and in some instances to physically kill people.

[00:33:57.215 – 00:34:07.495] We’ve been given a tremendous gift to be free to share ourselves in good taste with another human being, and that is a tremendous freedom for our kind of people.

[00:34:07.495 – 00:34:14.095] And so as a result of it, you know, and, and I started reading, and they used to say, they used to call me boy in that group.

[00:34:14.095 – 00:34:24.135] They said, “Boy, bring that book to us.” And I take the book to them, and they say, “What’s on the bottom of that dust cover?” And I said, “It says, this is a basic text.” They

[00:34:24.135 – 00:34:30.674] said, “That’s where you start.” Then they said, “Open the book and turn to the first page,” and I did, and the first page is a flyleaf, and it’s vacant.

[00:34:30.674 – 00:34:31.455] There’s nothing on it.

[00:34:31.455 – 00:34:41.455] And they say, “What’s on that page?” And I said, “Nothing.” They said, “Do you know why nothing’s on there?” And I says, “No.” They says, “‘Cause you do not know nothing.” They

[00:34:41.455 – 00:34:51.575] said, “If you knew anything about living sober, you wouldn’t need the book.” Then they said, “Turn two pages over and read to us what year was the book you’re holding printed.” And I told them the year

[00:34:51.575 – 00:35:01.695] it was printed, and they says, “Now, David, now we’re going to give you the key.” And they said, “The key is, David, that there are thousands of alcoholics such as you who have come to

[00:35:01.695 – 00:35:07.615] AA, are coming to AA, and will come to AA that will try to change what’s in that book.

[00:35:07.615 – 00:35:17.915] David, the key to living sober in the AA way of life is let what’s in that book change you as a result of the living

[00:35:17.915 – 00:35:27.075] experiences of the members of your group and other members of Alcoholics Anonymous.” And they said, “Now we want you to start reading that book from the front.

[00:35:27.075 – 00:35:31.855] Don’t you turn to back and read them stories at the end of the book because you’re not the end of your problem.

[00:35:31.855 – 00:35:36.135] And don’t open it up in the middle of the book because you’re not in the middle of your problem.

[00:35:36.135 – 00:35:45.355] You start at the front.” Well, being unemployable, um, practically in those days, when my I’s got uncrossed, I started reading the book.

[00:35:45.355 – 00:35:54.215] And they said, “We’re going to ask you a question.” So I started reading the book, and I got to the doctor’s opinion, and being part of the medical profession, that interested me immensely.

[00:35:54.215 – 00:35:56.575] Here’s a little physician by the name of Dr.

[00:35:56.575 – 00:36:05.595] William Silkworth, who treated over 40,000 alcoholics before AA got started and over 10,000 alcoholics after AA got off the ground.

[00:36:05.595 – 00:36:08.495] A little physician psychiatrist.

[00:36:08.495 – 00:36:17.715] In his day, he was one of the two most outstanding physician medical psychiatrists in North America.

[00:36:17.715 – 00:36:21.995] A physician who loved the drunks.

[00:36:21.995 – 00:36:30.474] A physician who forsake fame and fortune to stand at the firing line of our kind of people.

[00:36:30.474 – 00:36:32.455] Dr.

[00:36:32.455 – 00:36:42.735] Silkworth wrote the first paper about the physical nature of our illness that was put in print,

[00:36:42.735 – 00:36:46.855] and he didn’t believe that mental control alone would solve the deal.

[00:36:46.855 – 00:36:51.815] He’s the first one that talked about the phenomenon of craving.

[00:36:51.815 – 00:37:01.815] And Silkworth writes what this alcoholic believes to be two and a half pages of the finest writing about our malady as we

[00:37:01.815 – 00:37:04.535] understand it in AA that’s ever been put in print.

[00:37:04.535 – 00:37:15.135] It has to be because it has stood the acid of time, and today it is the basis of every successful treatment modality in the world today for alcoholics.

[00:37:15.135 – 00:37:20.755] And Silky writes, “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.” My God, that shot the balloon out of the air.

[00:37:20.755 – 00:37:24.015] I thought I was drinking because of the kind of woman I was married to.

[00:37:24.015 – 00:37:26.735] I thought I was drinking because of them two rotten kids.

[00:37:26.735 – 00:37:30.715] I thought I was drinking because the Republicans was in and the Democrats was out.

[00:37:30.715 – 00:37:34.895] I thought I was drinking because of my color, my size, my hair, my religion.

[00:37:34.895 – 00:37:37.715] I thought I was drinking because I was recalled back into the service.

[00:37:37.715 – 00:37:41.255] No, men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

[00:37:41.255 – 00:37:51.415] And although we will admit it is elusive, we will admit that it is injurious, there comes a time when we cannot differentiate the true from the false, and then the alcoholic

[00:37:51.415 – 00:37:53.395] believes his life to be the only one.

[00:37:53.395 – 00:37:59.075] Well then, every alcoholic get drunk on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, St.

[00:37:59.075 – 00:38:03.515] Paddy’s Day, when the sun goes up, the sun goes down, the sun just lays there.

[00:38:03.515 – 00:38:09.635] A drunk can be passed out three weeks right here on his back on this floor.

[00:38:09.635 – 00:38:13.435] You kick him, wake him up, been drinking two beers, and he falls back down.

[00:38:13.435 – 00:38:16.375] Never one, never three, never five.

[00:38:16.375 – 00:38:23.295] Silky writes, “We’re restless, irritable, and discontented.” I never was restless and irritable and discontented when I was drinking.

[00:38:23.295 – 00:38:23.815] I was drunk.

[00:38:25.618 – 00:38:28.877] It’s in between drunks that I was restless, irritable, and discontented.

[00:38:28.877 – 00:38:34.438] And until we could again experience the ease and comfort which seems to come at once.

[00:38:34.438 – 00:38:38.358] Drinks that we see others taking with impunity.

[00:38:38.358 – 00:38:42.678] My wife used to ask me, “Why don’t you drink like Herman?” I said, “I don’t want to drink like Herman.

[00:38:42.678 – 00:38:49.818] I don’t even like Herman.” Said, “Why don’t you drink like so-and-so?” I said, “Fine, get him over to the house Saturday night.” So-and-so would come over.

[00:38:49.818 – 00:38:52.138] I’d feed him alcohol like I’m undrinking.

[00:38:52.138 – 00:38:55.918] Come on, don’t drink, don’t drink like a little girl, like a baby drink.

[00:38:55.918 – 00:39:00.478] Hour and a half later, he’d be passed out on my living room rug.

[00:39:00.478 – 00:39:02.438] My foot would be on his navel.

[00:39:02.438 – 00:39:12.608] And I’d look at my wife and I’d say, “And you want me to drink like this bum here?” My wife used to say, “Why don’t you drink like a man?” I said, “I’m drinking

[00:39:12.608 – 00:39:13.558] with both fists.

[00:39:13.558 – 00:39:17.178] What else you want me to do?” Oh, here’s a real good one.

[00:39:17.178 – 00:39:21.958] People used to say, “David, don’t you drink anymore?” I didn’t need anymore.

[00:39:21.958 – 00:39:23.738] What I was drinking was doing the job.

[00:39:23.738 – 00:39:32.398] But once we succumb to the desire again, and unfortunately many of us will, here comes the thing that separates our kind from the social drinker.

[00:39:32.398 – 00:39:33.488] I was a social drinker.

[00:39:33.488 – 00:39:34.638] I drank with anybody.

[00:39:34.638 – 00:39:37.798] Normal drinker, I don’t know what a normal drinker is.

[00:39:37.798 – 00:39:45.838] A normal drink for me used to be get you a pint of cheap whiskey, cheap wine, knock the cap off, suck her down in one swallow and go for another one, you know.

[00:39:45.838 – 00:39:50.658] But once we succumb, then we succumb to this phenomenon of craving.

[00:39:50.658 – 00:39:54.198] My God, how my body craved alcohol when I was drinking.

[00:39:54.198 – 00:40:00.218] And that is where I found out what was wrong with me at that meeting in the last Sunday in August of 1950.

[00:40:00.218 – 00:40:06.258] Remember I told you I got up 5.30 that morning and started drinking, drank a half fifth.

[00:40:06.258 – 00:40:08.018] Knew I was going to have to have me a drink.

[00:40:08.018 – 00:40:13.178] No, it wasn’t because I was sorry that I was no good, that I’d rather be drunk than sober.

[00:40:13.178 – 00:40:17.298] I didn’t realize that I was suffering from a twofold illness of mind and body.

[00:40:17.298 – 00:40:23.698] Living a lifestyle on my own, a mental obsession so powerful that was condemning me to drink against my own will.

[00:40:23.698 – 00:40:28.298] And the physical nature of the thing that I had was condemning me to die if I continued to drink.

[00:40:28.298 – 00:40:29.238] I did not know this.

[00:40:29.238 – 00:40:31.138] No, no.

[00:40:31.138 – 00:40:33.137] And it wasn’t that, no.

[00:40:33.137 – 00:40:37.378] And this phenomenon of craving, the body was craving that alcohol.

[00:40:37.378 – 00:40:47.678] And then once we sets up this phenomenon of craving and we go through that well-known spree, ending up remorseful, screaming to anybody that would listen to us,

[00:40:47.678 – 00:40:48.638] we’ll never do it again.

[00:40:48.638 – 00:40:51.178] Yet I did it again and again and again and again and again.

[00:40:51.178 – 00:40:51.918] And here’s where Dr.

[00:40:51.918 – 00:41:02.058] Silkworth lays out our recovery program so beautifully and so simply when he says, until such a person experiences an entire psychic change, there is very little hope for his

[00:41:02.058 – 00:41:02.738] recovery.

[00:41:02.738 – 00:41:07.018] Well, how in Alcoholics Anonymous do we experience an entire psychic change?

[00:41:07.018 – 00:41:11.858] As a result of our ideals that are firmly grounded in a power greater than ourselves.

[00:41:11.858 – 00:41:17.118] And how in Alcoholics Anonymous do we firmly ground our ideals in a power greater than ourselves?

[00:41:17.118 – 00:41:22.478] Steps one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12.

[00:41:22.478 – 00:41:26.378] And then our co-founders knew that we would be restless, irritable, and discontented.

[00:41:26.378 – 00:41:29.078] And then, and the groups were beginning to break up.

[00:41:29.078 – 00:41:32.178] And anonymity breaks were running rampant and wild.

[00:41:32.178 – 00:41:36.118] And so enough time had distilled and the drunks said, Bill, what are we going to do?

[00:41:36.118 – 00:41:36.938] What are we going to do?

[00:41:36.938 – 00:41:46.998] And so Bill sat down and wrote 12 more spiritual principles by which we can not only live with, not only with each other in our AA groups and our AA groups with other

[00:41:46.998 – 00:41:49.578] AA groups, AA as a whole in the world which we live in.

[00:41:49.578 – 00:41:50.918] And that is our 12 traditions.

[00:41:50.918 – 00:41:52.638] And that first tradition is a honey.

[00:41:52.638 – 00:41:54.518] Our common welfare should come first.

[00:41:54.518 – 00:42:02.078] Personal recovery depends upon AA unity, common problem, common solution, common recovery, common father, the oneness of one.

[00:42:02.078 – 00:42:09.838] And then in 1962, our conference meeting gave us 12 more spiritual principles to live by.

[00:42:09.838 – 00:42:12.618] And that is our 12 concepts of world service.

[00:42:12.618 – 00:42:22.698] So that the human being that’s born right this very second, not maybe not too far from where we are meeting, that one day may become

[00:42:22.698 – 00:42:23.458] an alcoholic.

[00:42:23.458 – 00:42:33.598] AA will be with its arms open and waiting with the ungarbled, simple message that has

[00:42:33.598 – 00:42:41.517] been so freely and lovingly given to every one of us that AA will be available to come.

[00:42:41.517 – 00:42:43.298] And it is our responsibility.

[00:42:43.298 – 00:42:50.218] And basically, this is what I had been hearing all this weekend here at Prosa.

[00:42:50.218 – 00:42:52.597] Here at Prosa.

[00:42:52.597 – 00:42:54.138] Thank God.

[00:42:54.138 – 00:42:55.758] Thank God.

[00:42:55.758 – 00:42:57.418] You betcha.

[00:42:57.418 – 00:43:01.398] Various business.

[00:43:01.398 – 00:43:10.518] We can’t monkey with other people’s heads and we can’t monkey with other people’s lives because we have been given the gift to live again.

[00:43:10.518 – 00:43:15.438] The most precious gift that any human being has, and that’s life itself.

[00:43:15.438 – 00:43:22.798] And in AA, all we do is renew that contact of that little precious thing that comes with each of us at birth.

[00:43:22.798 – 00:43:23.958] You betcha.

[00:43:23.958 – 00:43:29.358] And then Silky tells us what will happen to us once such a person has experienced this entire psychic change.

[00:43:29.358 – 00:43:39.578] A person who has been doomed helpless and hopeless and has so many problems they’ll never be able to comprehend how they’ll ever be able to solve them can now very easily control their desire

[00:43:39.578 – 00:43:40.838] for alcohol.

[00:43:40.838 – 00:43:43.938] The only thing being that they be willing to follow a few simple rules.

[00:43:43.938 – 00:43:45.318] Dr.

[00:43:45.318 – 00:43:47.678] Silkworth, being a non-alcoholic, he says rules.

[00:43:47.678 – 00:43:49.958] Our kinds, we do not like rules.

[00:43:49.958 – 00:43:51.418] We do not like regulations.

[00:43:51.418 – 00:43:53.618] We do not like to be told what to, what not to.

[00:43:53.618 – 00:43:55.438] We just say suggestions.

[00:43:55.438 – 00:43:58.658] But after you’ve been in AA for a while, them suggestions become rules.

[00:43:58.658 – 00:44:07.378] Now, as soon as that AA meeting was over with and everybody went to the birthday and the cake and the ice cream and not me, I ran through them 80 people like a tornado.

[00:44:07.378 – 00:44:15.058] And I got out to the trunk of my car and I opened up that trunk and I got that half bottle of whiskey out and I drank her down in two swallows.

[00:44:15.058 – 00:44:17.298] That’s the way I drank alcohol.

[00:44:17.298 – 00:44:24.398] And I didn’t, you know, I didn’t, when I drank, I didn’t put it in a brandy glass and run around and sniff it for eight or nine hours.

[00:44:24.398 – 00:44:34.450] And I didn’t put an inch of whiskey in a glass, 14 ice cubes, nine and a half inches of something else, and a straw and a fruit and a cherry and a half a Christmas tree on top of it, and

[00:44:34.450 – 00:44:35.910] suck on it for about three hours.

[00:44:35.910 – 00:44:37.550] To me, that’s sick drinking.

[00:44:37.550 – 00:44:40.530] I dropped it down that hole where it’ll do the most good.

[00:44:40.530 – 00:44:43.930] You know how it is when you want a drink of alcohol so bad my guts kill you.

[00:44:43.930 – 00:44:49.350] And you take a drink and it runs down your Adam’s apple and gets into your chest well, starts pulsating like hours, you know.

[00:44:49.350 – 00:44:53.310] And then it runs down into your tummy and then runs around your navel about eight or nine times.

[00:44:53.310 – 00:45:01.010] And then it starts down your right and your left leg just heading for them toenails on each foot, just like the racers at the Indianapolis Speedway.

[00:45:01.010 – 00:45:11.110] And it gets down to the toenails and starts coming back up and it gets halfway between the ankle and the knee, and the head says, “I wonder if it’ll make her all the way up.” “I better

[00:45:11.110 – 00:45:22.770] drop another one down there to meet it, so the trick is to keep one going down and one coming up.” Now,

[00:45:22.770 – 00:45:31.190] unless one has experienced the need to have that feeling fulfilled, and unless one has experienced that feeling being fulfilled, we’ll never be able to comprehend what we’re talking about.

[00:45:31.190 – 00:45:34.370] And that’s where the great power of our society lies.

[00:45:34.370 – 00:45:37.070] But let me tell you what happened to me when I dropped that juice down in me.

[00:45:37.070 – 00:45:39.250] My hair laid back down.

[00:45:39.250 – 00:45:42.170] My toes went back in those alligator shoes.

[00:45:42.170 – 00:45:52.210] I ran up the steps and got a hold of the oldest sober member of that group and got to arguing with him about the quality of y’all’s fellowship, and he said something to me and I hit him.

[00:45:52.210 – 00:45:57.750] And when I was drinking, I was bad to hit folks, taller than me, shorter than me, fatter than me, skinnier than me.

[00:45:57.750 – 00:45:59.590] And two of his AA babies joined in.

[00:45:59.590 – 00:46:00.550] We started a fight.

[00:46:00.550 – 00:46:05.130] And as far as I was concerned, that fight was a lot better than that AA meeting.

[00:46:05.130 – 00:46:10.430] Because I was whipping the dickens out of them two little drunks, and they did an unfair thing.

[00:46:10.430 – 00:46:16.850] They ran in two more sober alcoholics about the size of the outside linebackers on any professional football team.

[00:46:16.850 – 00:46:22.890] And finally, four of them picked me up bodily, two on each side, and threw me right out of that AA group.

[00:46:22.890 – 00:46:34.870] As I’m flying through the air, one of them said, “We do not need your kind here.” And another one said, “And furthermore, you’re too young to be an alcoholic.” And

[00:46:34.870 – 00:46:45.040] I stood on that grass that Sunday evening drunk with my fists clenched, screaming and hollering and cursing to anybody to listen to me, that I would never come back to this Christ soul-saving organization

[00:46:45.040 – 00:46:47.790] as long as I live, that I was not an alcoholic.

[00:46:47.790 – 00:46:49.430] I was too young to be an alcoholic.

[00:46:49.430 – 00:46:56.250] But the next 17 years, everything that could possibly happen to a human being happened to this human being.

[00:46:56.250 – 00:47:06.010] And the only two things never did happen to me, getting ready to get on a drunk, on a drunk, coming off a drunk right to this second, I never did willfully murder another human being or die drunk.

[00:47:06.010 – 00:47:07.490] Other than that, it all happened.

[00:47:07.490 – 00:47:15.950] I’d married this wonderful gal, and God, when she, and, and, when, when we got married, she didn’t realize that she was marrying an alcoholic.

[00:47:15.950 – 00:47:19.730] So when we got married, we did not start to build a marriage.

[00:47:19.730 – 00:47:24.770] We started to build a booby trap, one that could go off on any week or any year.

[00:47:24.770 – 00:47:29.390] And I was recalled back into service shortly after that meeting, did not have to go.

[00:47:29.390 – 00:47:37.770] And I was recalled back as a naval dental officer, and I went with a combat marine division and got into more trouble than there’s trouble.

[00:47:37.770 – 00:47:45.190] Christmas Day ’54, I’m laying in a pris- They only had room for 128, and it was under a code name.

[00:47:45.190 – 00:47:48.890] Had a leg iron locked around my right leg and a chain welded to the leg iron.

[00:47:48.890 – 00:47:52.990] The other end of the chain welded to steel cot and the four legs of the steel cot immersed in concrete.

[00:47:52.990 – 00:47:56.970] And there are armed gorillas around me 24 hours a day daring me to move.

[00:47:56.970 – 00:48:00.350] And I was to lay like that for one solid year.

[00:48:00.350 – 00:48:04.550] And I didn’t know the reason I got there until after I got there.

[00:48:04.550 – 00:48:10.010] And the word was that when you got into that place, you never would leave.

[00:48:10.010 – 00:48:16.430] And I saw how some of them left, and yeah, they’re sheets from the top of their heads to their toes, and that’s the way they went out of there.

[00:48:16.430 – 00:48:27.550] And I was, and I’d been laying like that for seven and a half months, and because of my insolence and because of my arrogance and because of my uncooperativeness, four

[00:48:27.550 – 00:48:30.410] and a half of those seven and a half months, I was on straight bread and water.

[00:48:30.410 – 00:48:34.310] And here it is, Christmas Day, and I’m hating society.

[00:48:34.310 – 00:48:38.110] I know hundreds of people that have done far more than me, and they’re running loose.

[00:48:38.110 – 00:48:38.570] Why me?

[00:48:38.570 – 00:48:39.050] Boo-hoo.

[00:48:39.050 – 00:48:44.410] And in comes the orderly with the Christmas dinner, and I’ve been in a lot of places where they don’t give you knives and forks.

[00:48:44.410 – 00:48:45.690] They give you a spoon.

[00:48:45.690 – 00:48:50.309] And if they let you out of the iron doggy house, they, they count the spoons before you go back in.

[00:48:50.309 – 00:48:53.810] And I’ve been in a lot of places where they don’t give you knives, forks, spoons.

[00:48:53.810 – 00:48:54.690] It’s no big deal.

[00:48:54.690 – 00:48:59.110] You learn how to eat soup with your fingers, and you dream there’s chicken in there, you know.

[00:48:59.110 – 00:49:04.410] And I’ll tell you right now, hate and resentment can carry you a long way.

[00:49:04.410 – 00:49:08.570] But it’ll destroy one’s mind.

[00:49:08.570 – 00:49:18.670] As I said, here I am, and here comes the orderly in with the Christmas dinner, and he’s grinning, “Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.” And I’m so full of Christmas cheer and love for my

[00:49:18.670 – 00:49:28.690] fellow man, I say, “Ho, ho, ho, you know what.” And he says, “Here’s your Christmas dinner, you sorry so-and-so.” And I was so grateful for that Christmas dinner when he handed it to me,

[00:49:28.690 – 00:49:31.030] I picked it up and I hit him right in the face with it.

[00:49:31.030 – 00:49:37.180] And my Christmas gift for doing it that Christmas Day was 45 more straight days on bread and water.

[00:49:37.180 – 00:49:40.650] Now, that’s what you call a bad day.

[00:49:40.650 – 00:49:48.510] I have not had a day that bad since I have been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:49:48.510 – 00:49:50.670] Compared to what?

[00:49:50.670 – 00:49:53.030] I got out of that by hook or crick.

[00:49:53.030 – 00:49:53.690] I lied.

[00:49:53.690 – 00:49:56.170] Some people took their lives as a result of their involvement.

[00:49:56.170 – 00:49:59.550] And my wife talked into taking me back, and we started moving again.

[00:49:59.550 – 00:50:04.830] We decided to move out to the panhandle of West Texas to raise our two little boys in a Christian environment.

[00:50:04.830 – 00:50:10.150] I don’t know how many of y’all ever lived in a town of 3,500 people that lived in a Christian environment.

[00:50:10.150 – 00:50:13.310] That’s a town that votes dry and drinks wet.

[00:50:13.310 – 00:50:16.710] And the two most popular people in the town is the undertaker and the bootlegger.

[00:50:16.710 – 00:50:26.749] And I was drinking every day, and I got up to where I weighed 245 pounds, and my blood pressure was so high that every time my pulse would beat, my hair would stand straight up and pump like a

[00:50:26.750 – 00:50:27.230] oil well.

[00:50:27.230 – 00:50:31.182] Had a fat doctor friend in the next town, went to go see him.

[00:50:31.182 – 00:50:32.282] He takes one look at me.

[00:50:32.282 – 00:50:39.602] He says, “My God, you look sick.” And he put the cuff around my arm, ran the air up, and he says, “My God, David, it’s a miracle you’re alive.

[00:50:39.602 – 00:50:49.622] Your blood pressure’s so high.” Then he said to me, he says, “You know why your blood pressure’s high?” I says, “No, Doctor.” He says, “Because you’re so fat.” And he said, “You know why you’re so fat?” He says, “Because you eat so

[00:50:49.622 – 00:50:59.802] much.” And he says, “You know why you eat so much?” I said, “No, Doctor.” He said, “Because you do not have any guts, and you do not have any willpower, and I am going to have to give you some help.”

[00:50:59.802 – 00:51:04.262] And so he wrote me a prescription for 60 of the most beautiful capsules I’ve ever seen in my life.

[00:51:04.262 – 00:51:14.322] Called them U-dons, and he says, “Take them as directed.” And I says, “Doctor, is it all right if I drink a couple of beers while I’m taking that?” He says, “I don’t think, well, it’ll hurt

[00:51:14.322 – 00:51:16.242] you.” He never should have told me that.

[00:51:16.242 – 00:51:21.582] So I went home to the druggist, had my prescription filled, went home to lose weight and stay drunk.

[00:51:21.582 – 00:51:30.162] Well, I looked at the prescription, and it says, “Take one three times a day after meals.” Well, every drunk knows if one’s good, two’s better, three’s terrific.

[00:51:30.162 – 00:51:32.142] I just took three of them and drank some whiskey.

[00:51:32.142 – 00:51:34.122] Didn’t feel like I was losing any weight.

[00:51:34.122 – 00:51:37.962] Took three more of them, drank some more whiskey.

[00:51:37.962 – 00:51:41.042] Went into the bathroom, turned sideways, looked in the mirror.

[00:51:41.042 – 00:51:42.382] Didn’t look like I was losing any weight.

[00:51:42.382 – 00:51:47.362] Come back out and took a handful of them, drank some more whiskey, and sat there.

[00:51:47.362 – 00:51:49.042] Looked like my stomach was getting bigger.

[00:51:49.042 – 00:51:59.402] You know, our co-founder, Bill, wrote some very prophetic lines when he said, “When a drunk is drinking, it’s time out of mind.” And the only sad thing that I have found about Alcoholics Anonymous

[00:51:59.402 – 00:52:01.282] is time passes so fast sober.

[00:52:01.282 – 00:52:02.082] Where does it go?

[00:52:02.082 – 00:52:10.202] And finally, I took all the pills and drank all the whiskey, and the next thing I knew, I was out in my backyard, and I was picking peaches off of rose bushes.

[00:52:10.202 – 00:52:11.562] I don’t mind how they did it.

[00:52:11.562 – 00:52:21.602] And they tell me I

[00:52:21.602 – 00:52:26.502] ran around that little town of 3,500 for two days talking in the unknown tongue, you know.

[00:52:26.502 – 00:52:36.562] And being one of two Jewish families in five counties around, they

[00:52:36.562 – 00:52:39.622] gathered everybody in to see and hear the miracle.

[00:52:39.622 – 00:52:43.282] ‘Cause word had spread like wildfire.

[00:52:43.282 – 00:52:45.802] The Jew had caught the Holy Ghost, you know.

[00:52:45.802 – 00:52:55.882] And when I come to it and realized what happened, I says, “My God, them pills are messing up my drinking.” But you know, it was in that little town that the entire picture of

[00:52:55.882 – 00:53:01.662] active alcoholism, how it not only affects the one who we love the most, do love us the most.

[00:53:01.662 – 00:53:03.302] There was a wonderful man.

[00:53:03.302 – 00:53:06.821] He, he was the richest man in the whole countryside, and he passed away.

[00:53:06.821 – 00:53:10.182] And they asked me to be a pallbearer, and it’s an honor to be a pallbearer.

[00:53:10.182 – 00:53:13.462] And so I’m home getting ready, juiced up to be a pallbearer.

[00:53:13.462 – 00:53:16.382] It’s a cold, rainy day, not quite cold enough to sleep.

[00:53:16.382 – 00:53:19.202] And so every button I button, I gotta take a drink.

[00:53:19.202 – 00:53:21.222] Put the right boot on, I have to take a drink.

[00:53:21.222 – 00:53:22.922] Put the left boot on, take a drink.

[00:53:22.922 – 00:53:28.142] And I’m getting all juiced up, and I put the rest of that bottle of whiskey under the seat of that old station wagon.

[00:53:28.142 – 00:53:29.122] Off go to church house.

[00:53:29.122 – 00:53:34.142] I don’t know how many of y’all lived in small country towns, but they never dug a basement.

[00:53:34.142 – 00:53:35.622] It, it’s always the ground floor.

[00:53:35.622 – 00:53:37.162] They just build a church right over it.

[00:53:37.162 – 00:53:40.802] And when you climb up them steps, it’s like climbing up Pikes Peak.

[00:53:40.802 – 00:53:47.382] And he was a leading layman in the Methodist church, and God and everybody for miles around come to see the final rite.

[00:53:47.382 – 00:53:53.062] And finally, when you get up the steps, you open them big oak doors, and there are them curved oak pews.

[00:53:53.062 – 00:53:54.942] And you gotta get down on front row.

[00:53:54.942 – 00:53:57.262] That’s hopeless row, pallbearer row, and every…

[00:53:57.262 – 00:53:59.082] And it’s like skiing down Pikes Peak.

[00:53:59.082 – 00:54:04.862] And I’m in there, and that’s all I’m thinking about, is when am I gonna get a drink of alcohol?

[00:54:04.862 – 00:54:11.522] And so they, they, the host minister opens up the services, and I knew all the eulogizers.

[00:54:11.522 – 00:54:16.162] And when the last eulogizer got through, I’m gonna go get me a drink of alcohol.

[00:54:16.162 – 00:54:17.702] My mind is not on the funeral.

[00:54:17.702 – 00:54:19.542] My mind is not just get a drink.

[00:54:19.542 – 00:54:20.802] A- and that’s not sanity.

[00:54:20.802 – 00:54:26.062] And then they had augmented the choir, and then the choir had to sing.

[00:54:26.062 – 00:54:27.402] And they started singing.

[00:54:27.402 – 00:54:32.562] And I believe they sang every hymn in the Methodist hymnal and half in the Baptist hymnal.

[00:54:32.562 – 00:54:35.322] Wandering Child, Please Come Home.

[00:54:35.322 – 00:54:39.162] At the Foot of the Cross, and Jesus Loves You, and Bringing in the Sheaves.

[00:54:39.162 – 00:54:43.342] We’ll All Gather Down by the River, and Old 99, you know.

[00:54:43.342 – 00:54:46.622] And Amazing Grace, and I hate that hymn.

[00:54:46.622 – 00:54:52.762] Because I’m married to a gal and her name is Grace, and she ain’t amazing.

[00:54:52.762 – 00:54:53.582] I don’t mind how.

[00:54:53.582 – 00:54:59.942] And finally, they get through, and you know, the pallbearers, you got to wheel the deceased up the, up the aisle.

[00:54:59.942 – 00:55:02.662] And every congregation files by, and they pay their fine.

[00:55:02.662 – 00:55:08.542] And then they line up down the steps, and then the pallbearers got to haul the coffin down the steps to the Hurst Cemetery.

[00:55:08.542 – 00:55:15.062] And I knew I could never hau- uh, hold up the north end of that, northeast end of that coffin up without a drink.

[00:55:15.062 – 00:55:20.342] And as soon as the, one of the funeral home assistants came by, I nailed him and I says, “I’m sick.

[00:55:20.342 – 00:55:23.642] I’m leaving.” And before he can ask me what, I’m out the side door.

[00:55:23.642 – 00:55:25.382] I’m in that station wagon.

[00:55:25.382 – 00:55:30.102] I go two blocks from the church, and I reach underneath the seat and get out that bottle of whiskey.

[00:55:30.102 – 00:55:33.922] And you know, you peel that sack down like a banana, and I started drinking.

[00:55:33.922 – 00:55:36.022] And oh, God, I started feeling better.

[00:55:36.022 – 00:55:38.142] And I took another drink, and I started feeling better.

[00:55:38.142 – 00:55:41.382] And I took a third one to feel, feel real good, and a fourth one to make sure.

[00:55:41.382 – 00:55:50.462] And thank God I had sanity enough at that stage not to try to crawl in with the pallbearers drunk or drinking or try to drive in a funeral procession 10 miles an hour.

[00:55:50.462 – 00:55:56.742] So I said, “Well, I’ll just circle the town and meet them out at the cemetery.” And the cemetery’s five miles out of town.

[00:55:56.742 – 00:56:03.262] So I started driving slow, and I started driving with one hand, drinking with the other, and I turned the radio on.

[00:56:03.262 – 00:56:11.202] And I love country Western music more than anything else in the world, and my favorite radio station in those days was Del Rio, Texas.

[00:56:11.202 – 00:56:20.562] Where they sold Bibles and crosses and chains and rejuvenation powders and potions and lotions, post office box, and get your Kewpie doll of Jesus.

[00:56:20.562 – 00:56:22.962] You can love him, you can hug him, you can kiss him.

[00:56:22.962 – 00:56:25.762] And he glows in the dark, you know.

[00:56:25.762 – 00:56:30.742] And I’m singing, and they play the finest tunes in the world.

[00:56:30.742 – 00:56:33.042] Don’t wink them bloodshot eyes at me.

[00:56:33.042 – 00:56:37.762] And here’s one that’s good for 11 months of drinking and 14 months of crying.

[00:56:37.762 – 00:56:40.322] Only God Made Honky Tonk Angels, you know.

[00:56:40.322 – 00:56:44.442] And I’m singing, and I’m drinking, and I’m driving.

[00:56:44.442 – 00:56:46.742] And I get out to the cemetery, and I’m the only one there.

[00:56:46.742 – 00:56:51.232] I take a couple of honks on the juice, climb a slide up the wet hill.

[00:56:51.232 – 00:56:57.922] Course the false grass and the chair and the tents and the, and the grave had been dug, and the stanchion on either end of the grave, and the sling for the coffin.

[00:56:57.922 – 00:57:02.222] Being a real good, smart, nosy drunk, I gotta see that all the arrangements are proper.

[00:57:02.222 – 00:57:07.222] I straighten out a chair or two, get behind the lectern, make up a little minute-and-a-half eulogy.

[00:57:07.222 – 00:57:09.042] Nobody shows up.

[00:57:09.042 – 00:57:13.002] Have a sinking spell, slide down the hill, take eight more honks on that juice.

[00:57:13.002 – 00:57:18.462] And by this time, I’m coming back up the hill, and then my toe’s up, my heel’s back, and I’m not seeing double.

[00:57:18.462 – 00:57:19.982] I’m seeing quadruple.

[00:57:19.982 – 00:57:23.082] And I see four rows of chairs out of line.

[00:57:23.082 – 00:57:29.262] And if there’s anything our kind don’t want, we don’t want anybody to know we’ve been around and messed up.

[00:57:29.262 – 00:57:31.642] And I gotta straighten out them chairs.

[00:57:31.642 – 00:57:33.092] They have nothing wrong with them chairs.

[00:57:33.092 – 00:57:34.162] It was wrong with me.

[00:57:34.162 – 00:57:36.612] And I’m diving for those chairs, and I-

[00:57:36.737 – 00:57:45.917] I don’t know how many of you all have ever been extremely drunk and extremely off balance, and you tangle with that false grass that’s wet.

[00:57:45.917 – 00:57:51.036] It’s like that indoor outdoor carpet, and when it gets real wet, it gets slick.

[00:57:51.036 – 00:58:01.037] And the toes of one of my boots hits the seam of that false grass, and I start sliding, and I grab two chairs, and the next thing you know, me and two chairs, we’re down in the bottom of

[00:58:01.037 – 00:58:02.057] that hole down there.

[00:58:02.057 – 00:58:12.057] And I’m scratching and squealing down at the bottom of that hole,

[00:58:12.057 – 00:58:12.337] you know.

[00:58:12.337 – 00:58:16.797] And the most helpless feeling is when you’re drunk, and you’re flat on your back, and you can’t get up.

[00:58:16.797 – 00:58:19.397] And here comes the preacher.

[00:58:19.397 – 00:58:22.517] And here comes my wife.

[00:58:22.517 – 00:58:25.137] And here comes the pallbearers.

[00:58:25.137 – 00:58:27.867] Now, you know, non-alcoholics are tremendous people.

[00:58:27.867 – 00:58:31.717] Now, when I say non-alcoholics, I do not mean Al-Anon.

[00:58:31.717 – 00:58:33.377] No, they’re a breed of their own.

[00:58:33.377 – 00:58:34.557] I don’t mind telling you.

[00:58:34.557 – 00:58:35.837] No.

[00:58:35.837 – 00:58:40.237] Non-alcoholics, you know, they can ask you the dumbest questions.

[00:58:40.237 – 00:58:43.577] The son of the deceased hears me down in the bottom of that thing.

[00:58:43.577 – 00:58:53.597] He sticks his long turkey neck down there, and he asks me this brilliant question, “What are you doing down there?” And I gave him a drinking drunk’s best shot, and I said, “I’m

[00:58:53.597 – 00:58:54.497] trying to get out.

[00:58:54.497 – 00:59:01.517] That’s what I’m doing.” And they haul me out, and I’m standing there, and I’m wet, and I’m muddy, and I’m drunk.

[00:59:01.517 – 00:59:06.737] And every eye is looking at me while they’re finishing the fine rites of that wonderful man.

[00:59:06.737 – 00:59:16.857] Now, if a so-called social drinker or a normal drinker, if this should accidentally happen to them, chances are they’re so embarrassed

[00:59:16.857 – 00:59:18.557] that they’ll stop drinking the rest of their life.

[00:59:18.557 – 00:59:21.057] But not me, I’m an alcoholic.

[00:59:21.057 – 00:59:28.157] I’m seeing the looks in the eyes of those who I love the most and who love me the most.

[00:59:28.157 – 00:59:37.077] That look, those looks of utter disbelief, tears, shame, befuddlement, and embarrassment.

[00:59:37.077 – 00:59:42.457] And the looks in those eyes are the ones that we love the most and who love us the most.

[00:59:42.457 – 00:59:47.577] The look that every alcoholic is seen in those eyes.

[00:59:47.577 – 00:59:57.597] Although the eyes do not audibly say these words, they look these words, and those words are, “Oh, no,

[00:59:57.597 – 01:00:07.737] not again.” And I said, “My God, get these services over with so I can go get me a drink to obliterate

[01:00:07.737 – 01:00:17.737] in my innermost consciousness the looks in the eyes of the people who I love the most and who love me the most.” And when those services were over with, I didn’t go out and get me a

[01:00:17.737 – 01:00:17.997] drink.

[01:00:17.997 – 01:00:22.597] I went out and got a box, and I didn’t come back to that town for three and a half months.

[01:00:22.597 – 01:00:30.357] But the ridicule and the shame that my wife and those two little boys had to endure was almost too much for their sanity.

[01:00:30.357 – 01:00:36.717] We had to move away, move to a town, but I’m taking me, starting all over again.

[01:00:36.717 – 01:00:47.017] But it’s not long before I’m down on that last skid row, in and out, sleeping in fifty five cent night hotel rooms, shoes tied around your neck, emptying wine bottles.

[01:00:47.017 – 01:00:50.217] Everything gone.

[01:00:50.217 – 01:00:51.997] Grace and the boys had left.

[01:00:51.997 – 01:00:55.217] My parents had already declared me dead.

[01:00:55.217 – 01:01:05.277] I was incapable of working, and I didn’t want to live because I had condemned my own

[01:01:05.277 – 01:01:08.337] self in my mind that I was hopeless and helpless.

[01:01:08.337 – 01:01:12.817] And I condemned myself in my own mind that I was going to die drunk.

[01:01:12.817 – 01:01:23.197] Somewhere along the line on April 18th and 19th of sixty-seven, I really can’t tell you, I hand the, found a handwriting on the floor of the county jail in Dallas, Texas.

[01:01:23.197 – 01:01:28.897] Now, I’ve been in lots of jails, and incidentally, being in jail is not a requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:01:28.897 – 01:01:34.227] This time, I’d run out everything and everybody, and I couldn’t stay sober, and I couldn’t stay drunk.

[01:01:34.227 – 01:01:40.957] I come to Alcoholics Anonymous with the worst dual problem that any alcoholic can ever have.

[01:01:40.957 – 01:01:43.077] I couldn’t stay sober, and I couldn’t stay drunk.

[01:01:43.077 – 01:01:45.567] Now, that’s a dual problem for an alcoholic.

[01:01:45.567 – 01:01:55.697] And I screamed out on that jail floor, “My God, is there any help for me?” And I know right this very essence of time there is not only God for me now as it was

[01:01:55.697 – 01:01:58.857] then because I’m still here, and I have not had a drink of alcohol.

[01:01:58.857 – 01:02:08.957] And I said, “If I ever get out of this jail, I’m going to look up those people in Alcoholics Anonymous.” And how I got by that old sheriff, I don’t know, because he promised

[01:02:08.957 – 01:02:14.137] to have me put away for the rest of my life if I ever showed up in his jail again for drinking and drunk things that I was doing.

[01:02:14.137 – 01:02:19.257] When I got out, I found the gal, Edith, who asked me to come to that AA meeting in ’50.

[01:02:19.257 – 01:02:24.077] Edith had passed away, but she was continuously sober when she passed away.

[01:02:24.077 – 01:02:26.097] I found out that Moena had moved away.

[01:02:26.097 – 01:02:30.777] I used to see Moena every Wednesday morning at eight o’clock.

[01:02:30.777 – 01:02:39.577] This past March, a year ago, Moena passed away, and if she’d lived two more months, she would have been thirty-nine consecutive years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:02:39.577 – 01:02:43.317] There was a man at that meeting.

[01:02:43.317 – 01:02:45.297] He was sober eight years.

[01:02:45.297 – 01:02:46.617] He drank for eight years.

[01:02:46.617 – 01:02:50.937] This past May, he celebrated his twenty-second continuous sobriety this year.

[01:02:50.937 – 01:02:51.777] He’s my sponsor.

[01:02:51.777 – 01:02:53.757] I called him up.

[01:02:53.757 – 01:03:03.787] He wanted to know who it was for, and I said, “It’s for me.” He said, “Well, don’t take a drink of alcohol today, and

[01:03:03.787 – 01:03:12.316] call me in the morning at seven-thirty.” And after thirty-seven and a half years of giving it the best shot, it was cold turkey.

[01:03:12.316 – 01:03:15.237] Well, it’s more like frozen buzzard, if you want to know the truth.

[01:03:15.237 – 01:03:18.977] I started walking and shaking out a drunk.

[01:03:18.977 – 01:03:26.617] And when I come to the next morning, I was sober, and I didn’t have a belly full of tranquilizers, nor did I have a prescription for five hundred more.

[01:03:26.617 – 01:03:28.337] And for this, I am so thankful.

[01:03:28.337 – 01:03:31.757] It’s a kind of sobering up you don’t hear much in Alcoholics Anonymous anymore.

[01:03:31.757 – 01:03:37.217] And the best way I can describe that kind of sobering up, it’s like a natural childbirth without any anesthetic.

[01:03:37.217 – 01:03:42.537] It sure hurts like the dickens, but you sure got a wide awake baby, I don’t mind telling you.

[01:03:42.537 – 01:03:48.441] And at 7:30, and I called him and he said, “Are you drinking?” And I says, “No.” He said, “Call me at 3:30 in the afternoon.

[01:03:48.441 – 01:03:51.961] Start that walking and that shaking and that jumping.” I called him at 3:30.

[01:03:51.961 – 01:03:59.721] He said, “Do you want to go to an AA meeting?” I said, “More than anything else in the world.” He said, “You want me to come get you?” Being about as humble as the Ayatollah.

[01:03:59.721 – 01:04:06.001] I said, “I’d get there under my own steam.” And he told me where to go and find, and he hung up, and that’s all he said.

[01:04:06.001 – 01:04:16.121] Well, I was in a terrible predicament because the clothes that I was in, I had been in for six months, and it was just a pair of thermal underwear, an old gray sweater with the elbows out of my elbows,

[01:04:16.121 – 01:04:20.361] um, old pair, pair of flannel pants with all my possessions in my pockets.

[01:04:20.361 – 01:04:23.421] No socks, but I still hadn’t quite lost everything yet.

[01:04:23.421 – 01:04:31.961] I had a pair of beat-up old alligator shoes, and the only money I had was 30 cents, and that was all from the last blood I’d sold blood to blood bank to buy wine.

[01:04:31.961 – 01:04:35.281] And when you come to AA in that shape, you are not doing too well.

[01:04:35.281 – 01:04:38.721] So I called up my wife.

[01:04:38.721 – 01:04:48.741] And I said to her, “Grace, do you happen to have one of my suits?” I heard she’d thrown them all out.

[01:04:48.741 – 01:04:57.001] She said, “Yes, I have one, and it’s to bury you.” As I look back now, then asked her the most foolish question I ever asked in my life.

[01:04:57.001 – 01:05:05.281] I said, “Do you mind if I borrow it for a little while?” “I’m going to an AA meeting.” She, she said, “Another one of your lies,” and hung up.

[01:05:05.281 – 01:05:06.761] That suit’s a story in itself.

[01:05:06.761 – 01:05:11.361] Now, when I went in and I put that suit on, there wasn’t instant joy in that family that I’m coming to AA.

[01:05:11.361 – 01:05:17.041] God knows, everything I touched, walked by, breathed at, breathed in, even came near, she’d run around and spray.

[01:05:17.041 – 01:05:25.281] And I put that old suit on, and I bid she and the young’un goodbye, got in a Mustang that the bank was looking to repossess it, but they couldn’t recognize it.

[01:05:25.281 – 01:05:26.261] It looked like an accordion.

[01:05:26.261 – 01:05:28.101] And off I went to the meeting.

[01:05:28.101 – 01:05:33.041] And I walked in, and it looked like the same people that were there 17 years earlier.

[01:05:33.041 – 01:05:43.101] One of them looked at me and he grinned and he said, “We knew you would be back.” And now I’m going to tell

[01:05:43.101 – 01:05:45.541] you about the greatest AA talk I’ve ever heard in my life.

[01:05:45.541 – 01:05:50.141] Every member of Alcoholics Anonymous has heard it, and if you have not heard it, your group has cheated you.

[01:05:50.141 – 01:05:53.041] In AA, we don’t have any speakers in AA.

[01:05:53.041 – 01:05:55.521] We’re just a bunch of talkers.

[01:05:55.521 – 01:05:57.561] Ours is a language of the heart.

[01:05:57.561 – 01:06:07.941] And before you form another ad hoc committee, there is one thing that will never be able to be computerized, and that is the language of the heart.

[01:06:07.941 – 01:06:10.381] That comes from within.

[01:06:10.381 – 01:06:11.961] That comes from within.

[01:06:11.961 – 01:06:13.280] You betcha.

[01:06:13.280 – 01:06:14.321] You betcha.

[01:06:14.321 – 01:06:17.861] And I’ve been privileged to hear some of the finest talkers in AA.

[01:06:17.861 – 01:06:23.001] Bill, God, sat on his knee when I was five and a half months sober in Alcoholics.

[01:06:23.001 – 01:06:25.241] A drunk took me up there to meet Bill.

[01:06:25.241 – 01:06:26.821] I didn’t have any money.

[01:06:26.821 – 01:06:29.441] He said, “I ain’t loaning you money.

[01:06:29.441 – 01:06:31.281] I’m just going to give it to you, a gift.

[01:06:31.281 – 01:06:35.641] If I loan it to you and you don’t pay me back, I’m going to get a resentment, but a gift is a gift.

[01:06:35.641 – 01:06:38.101] That’s it.” And those are wonderful experiences.

[01:06:38.101 – 01:06:40.761] A former past delegate, you betcha, and he just loved it.

[01:06:40.761 – 01:06:48.041] And so as a result of it, and, you know, and, and, and this is the greatest AA talk I’ve ever heard in my life.

[01:06:48.041 – 01:06:51.761] There used to be a member of AA stand at the door and meet all the new people.

[01:06:51.761 – 01:06:53.021] He stuck out his hand.

[01:06:53.021 – 01:06:53.801] His was dry.

[01:06:53.801 – 01:06:54.641] Mine was wet.

[01:06:54.641 – 01:06:56.161] Mine slipped away, and I had to grab it again.

[01:06:56.161 – 01:06:56.841] Here it comes.

[01:06:56.841 – 01:06:58.851] This man then said to me, “Welcome.

[01:06:58.851 – 01:07:02.181] Come in and sit down and have a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about it.

[01:07:02.181 – 01:07:12.181] We understand exactly how you feel.” He did not say to me, “You never should have done those things.” He didn’t say to me, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have done those

[01:07:12.181 – 01:07:15.481] things.” He just simply said, “Welcome.

[01:07:15.481 – 01:07:21.721] Come in, sit down, and have a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about it.” It was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone shook my hand.

[01:07:21.721 – 01:07:25.681] It was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone welcomed me in.

[01:07:25.681 – 01:07:31.781] It was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone asked me to sit down and have a cup of coffee or anything else with them.

[01:07:31.781 – 01:07:41.801] And it was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that anyone said, “We understand exactly how you feel.” And when the meeting started,

[01:07:41.801 – 01:07:46.501] it was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that anyone allowed me to come in and sit with them.

[01:07:46.501 – 01:07:54.721] And I’m still shaking, and I’m still drunk jumping, and the drunks on either side of me, they’re putting their hands on my knees and on my arms and said, “Easy does it.

[01:07:54.721 – 01:07:55.701] First things first.

[01:07:55.701 – 01:08:05.901] This too will pass.” And then when the talking got through, and then they passed the basket, and I didn’t have any money to put in the basket, and no one called me a cheapskate, and no one called me a chiseler,

[01:08:05.901 – 01:08:07.261] and no one called me a taker.

[01:08:07.261 – 01:08:14.441] And when they started to say the Lord’s Prayer, and that’s the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that anyone asked me to stand and pray with them.

[01:08:14.441 – 01:08:16.221] And I did not know the Lord’s Prayer.

[01:08:16.221 – 01:08:19.301] And no one called me a dummy, and no one called me an atheist.

[01:08:19.301 – 01:08:20.841] No one called me an agnostic.

[01:08:20.841 – 01:08:29.761] And then after that was over with, it was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that people walked up to me, and they hugged me, and they kissed me, and they told me they loved me.

[01:08:29.761 – 01:08:39.241] And when I got ready to leave that night, it was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that those fine people said, “David, please come back.

[01:08:39.241 – 01:08:45.941] We need you, and you need us.” Folks, that is Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:08:45.941 – 01:08:49.141] Nothing more, nothing less.

[01:08:49.141 – 01:08:55.721] Just God’s grace of Alcoholics Anonymous working through his kids.

[01:08:55.721 – 01:08:56.901] That’s all.

[01:08:56.901 – 01:09:00.581] And if it gets more complicated than that, I’m going to have to go get me another deal.

[01:09:00.581 – 01:09:01.741] I don’t know about you.

[01:09:01.741 – 01:09:02.781] Yeah.

[01:09:02.781 – 01:09:08.201] When I got to you people, little I realized my wife and two sons would ever be under one roof again.

[01:09:08.201 – 01:09:13.681] Because that marriage had been written off by everything and everybody, and it had no right to be.

[01:09:13.681 – 01:09:22.381] But only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, and only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Al-Anon in Grace’s life.

[01:09:22.381 – 01:09:29.101] That beautiful and wonderful lady, this past June the 10th, we celebrated 44 years.

[01:09:29.101 – 01:09:31.241] And that’s pretty good for a drunk.

[01:09:31.241 – 01:09:40.271] Although I was not there for many, many years, and I cannot let this talk go by without saying something about Al-Anon.

[01:09:40.271 – 01:09:50.305] Our co-founder, Bill, when he was addressing our Amer- our American and Canadian citizens at a gathering And he

[01:09:50.305 – 01:10:00.625] says, “You know, the second greatest thing that has ever happened in the world, the first greatest thing was AA, the second greatest thing was Al-Anon.” Because Al-Anon

[01:10:00.625 – 01:10:10.784] fills that vast void of broken family relationships of blood kin and emotionally

[01:10:10.784 – 01:10:11.365] attached.

[01:10:11.365 – 01:10:15.585] And folks, whether we like it or not, that is the most discarded.

[01:10:15.585 – 01:10:17.965] Thank God for Al-Anon.

[01:10:17.965 – 01:10:19.745] You betcha.

[01:10:19.745 – 01:10:20.425] Thank God.

[01:10:20.425 – 01:10:30.525] Now, I’m not going to stand up and tell you because I’m in AA and Grace

[01:10:30.525 – 01:10:38.105] is in Al-Anon that our marriage is just absolutely perfect, that the bluebirds are flying around and the butterflies are hugging and kissing, because heck no.

[01:10:38.105 – 01:10:40.385] We have a few short rounds every now and then.

[01:10:40.385 – 01:10:42.865] We have a few long rounds every now and then.

[01:10:42.865 – 01:10:46.145] That’s what you call clearing the air, communicating.

[01:10:46.145 – 01:10:51.385] The best way I can describe our marriage today, it’s built on solid constructive imperfection.

[01:10:51.385 – 01:10:55.365] Because it’s by our imperfections that we grow.

[01:10:55.365 – 01:10:57.605] And anyway, I go to six, seven, eight meetings a week.

[01:10:57.605 – 01:10:59.585] She goes four, five Al-Anon meetings a week.

[01:10:59.585 – 01:11:03.204] And we don’t see each other enough to have all that bickering, arguing, fighting.

[01:11:03.204 – 01:11:07.405] Our two sons are grown today, and God, they are tremendous.

[01:11:07.405 – 01:11:09.705] They are absolutely tremendous.

[01:11:09.705 – 01:11:19.825] And one monkey that’s sober 30 some odd years looked at our youngest one not long ago who lives in Hong Kong, and he says, “Has your life been affected because you’re an adult child

[01:11:19.825 – 01:11:24.045] of an alcoholic?” And little Donnie looked at him and he says, “I’m going to tell you one thing, Buster.

[01:11:24.045 – 01:11:26.955] I ain’t no adult child of an alcoholic.

[01:11:26.955 – 01:11:38.665] I’m an adult child of God.” When

[01:11:38.665 – 01:11:43.005] I got sober, I had to go to the regulatory agency that regulates my licensed practice profession.

[01:11:43.005 – 01:11:46.485] They were going to remove my license for the rest of my life.

[01:11:46.485 – 01:11:52.825] Had to go down telling the truth, not make promises.

[01:11:52.825 – 01:11:54.025] Promises kill our kind.

[01:11:54.025 – 01:11:55.665] Tell them the truth of what I did.

[01:11:55.665 – 01:12:06.655] They kept me down there for a week, and they said, “Well, we’ll let you go back to work, but we’ll be watching you one day at a time.” Now,

[01:12:06.655 – 01:12:10.905] I’m asked all the time by a lot of people, and y’all have just heard the nicer parts of my story.

[01:12:10.905 – 01:12:13.545] You’ve been locked up and everything.

[01:12:13.545 – 01:12:14.905] How did you ever get through school?

[01:12:14.905 – 01:12:17.665] Well, I was my class valedictorian in high school.

[01:12:17.665 – 01:12:24.285] I finished second in a class of 450 at Southern Methodist University, and I’m a graduate of Baylor University College of Dentistry.

[01:12:24.285 – 01:12:26.865] And they said, “How’d you do it?” Real simple.

[01:12:26.865 – 01:12:27.765] You cheat.

[01:12:27.765 – 01:12:37.565] You steal and you lie.

[01:12:37.565 – 01:12:45.965] You see, it does not take our kind long to find another human being who can do for us what we cannot possibly do for ourselves.

[01:12:45.965 – 01:12:55.965] And so you see, only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous,

[01:12:55.965 – 01:12:57.305] I have a sober life today.

[01:12:57.305 – 01:13:04.165] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous and the recovery program, I have a God today, a God of my very own.

[01:13:04.165 – 01:13:07.785] A God that I found through the 12 Steps and the Big Book and you people.

[01:13:07.785 – 01:13:10.905] And believe it or not, a God I found through our 12 Traditions.

[01:13:10.905 – 01:13:13.725] A God that I found through our third legacy.

[01:13:13.725 – 01:13:17.585] A God that I found through our 12 Concepts of World Service.

[01:13:17.585 – 01:13:24.725] A God that I saw God’s conscience working today all through AA at our General Service conference.

[01:13:24.725 – 01:13:27.145] Everything in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:13:27.145 – 01:13:27.905] You betcha.

[01:13:27.905 – 01:13:31.705] This is where, I don’t know about you, but we got the whole package, baby.

[01:13:31.705 – 01:13:33.465] We got the whole package.

[01:13:33.465 – 01:13:37.345] And you hear it all the time in AA after meetings, keep coming back.

[01:13:37.345 – 01:13:39.025] Why don’t you just stay?

[01:13:39.025 – 01:13:43.405] Just stay.

[01:13:43.405 – 01:13:44.005] Yeah.

[01:13:44.005 – 01:13:50.865] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a family that loves and respects me.

[01:13:50.865 – 01:13:52.825] I have a roof over my head.

[01:13:52.825 – 01:13:58.405] I have hundreds of thousands of friends in Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alateen, and the world in which we all live in.

[01:13:58.405 – 01:14:01.585] I have a few dollars in the bank and a few dollars in my pocket.

[01:14:01.585 – 01:14:02.665] Not very, very many.

[01:14:02.665 – 01:14:05.105] I have two cars with gasoline in them, I hope.

[01:14:05.105 – 01:14:10.645] I have some reasonably nice clothes today, and I’ve got meat in the refrigerator and groceries in the pantry.

[01:14:10.645 – 01:14:12.245] And I’ll tell you a little secret.

[01:14:12.245 – 01:14:16.865] If you want anything any more than that, you’re either oversexed or plumb nuts.

[01:14:16.865 – 01:14:23.765] And you see, what I’ve been telling you, this is not me.

[01:14:23.765 – 01:14:26.245] This is all Alcoholics Anonymous, what’s happened to me.

[01:14:26.245 – 01:14:36.745] In the words of our co-founder, Bill, ours is not a personal success story, but one of colossal human failure converted into great strength by the alchemy of the living grace of God

[01:14:36.745 – 01:14:40.545] as expressed through the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous and my fellowship therein.

[01:14:40.545 – 01:14:44.685] And you’ve been so kind and so nice, I’d like to leave you with something.

[01:14:44.685 – 01:14:50.965] It would be my desire every member of Alcoholics Anonymous would have a copy of it.

[01:14:50.965 – 01:14:54.025] Every newcomer would be given this copy.

[01:14:54.025 – 01:15:04.185] Framed in our archives is a letter from a non-alcoholic, a non-alcoholic whose last name is perhaps

[01:15:04.185 – 01:15:12.465] the most famous name in the world as far as money and finances, real estate, foundations, energy, grants.

[01:15:12.465 – 01:15:16.765] A non-alcoholic who loved AA more than life itself.

[01:15:16.765 – 01:15:25.545] A non-alcoholic and his friends, and we believe that our big book never had been written if it hadn’t been for the insistence and the kindness of John D.

[01:15:25.545 – 01:15:26.385] Rockefeller Jr.

[01:15:26.385 – 01:15:27.445] and his friends.

[01:15:27.445 – 01:15:34.725] And the letter was written to Bill in response to a wartime edition of the big book that Bill gave him in 1946 printing.

[01:15:34.725 – 01:15:41.305] First part has to do with thank you for the book, but this is part of the letter that I’d like to leave with you, quote, to Bill.

[01:15:41.305 – 01:15:51.325] It must be of great satisfaction for you to realize that the helping hand that you extended to a needy brother many years ago has resulted in a widespread extension of that

[01:15:51.325 – 01:15:52.225] brotherly act.

[01:15:52.225 – 01:16:01.215] The regenerating power of the spirit of that helping hand has been the means by which countless lives have been saved that otherwise would have been wrecked.

[01:16:01.215 – 01:16:09.035] May God bless you and continue to use you ever increasingly as his chosen instrument in the rebuilding of broken lives.

[01:16:09.035 – 01:16:19.165] If there is a wish, if there is a hope, if there is a desire that I have for all of us in Alcoholics Anonymous, may God continue to bless us and use us ever increasingly

[01:16:19.165 – 01:16:22.045] as his chosen instrument in the rebuilding of broken lives.

[01:16:22.045 – 01:16:24.825] Because we’re right here at this very essence of time.

[01:16:24.825 – 01:16:30.485] We are here as a result of that extension of that brotherly hand from one drunk to another.

[01:16:30.485 – 01:16:37.145] And how can we continue to let God bless us and use us ever increasingly as his chosen instrument?

[01:16:37.145 – 01:16:40.905] And that is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

[01:16:40.905 – 01:16:44.285] God bless each and every one of you, and thank you, and I love you so much.

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