Tradition 12 presented by Nancy K – 2025-11-04

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Unknown Tuesday Night History Workshop • 2025

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Unknown Listen to Workshop Recording

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Unknown ABOUT THIS WORKSHOP

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Unknown Nancy K speaking on "Tradition 12" in Tuesday Night History Workshop (November 04, 2025). This recording is preserved in high-fidelity with interactive scrolling transcripts.

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Unknown Interactive Transcript

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[00 00:03.299 – 00:00:07.360] Welcome to the Tuesday Night Recovery Speakers History Workshop.

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[00 00:07.360 – 00:00:09.878] Thanks for joining us.

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[00 00:09.878 – 00:00:16.879] My name is Tim, and tonight's presentation is on Tradition Twelve, presented by Nancy K.

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[00 00:16.879 – 00:00:26.890] And if this is your first time here, um, Nancy over the past year or so has been doing about one a month, um, going

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[00 00:26.890 – 00:00:30.300] through the traditions, and this is the conclusion.

0:38

[00 00:30.300 – 00:00:35.280] And, um, looking forward to the presentation tonight.

0:41

[00 00:35.280 – 00:00:41.600] Um, we meet here every Tuesday at the same time and at the same Zoom ID number.

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[00 00:41.600 – 00:00:46.340] And next week, we have Mike F.

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[00 00:46.340 – 00:00:48.140] presenting a two-part...

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[00 00:48.140 – 00:00:54.060] the first part of a two-part workshop on Living the Twelve Traditions.

0:57

[00 00:54.060 – 00:01:00.990] And I'm trying to pull it up here for-- so everyone can see the flyers.

1:04

[00 01:00.990 – 00:01:10.280] Um, this meeting is being recorded, and all past, uh, presentations are available at recoveryspeakers.com.

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[00 01:10.280 – 00:01:20.280] And we are not affiliated with any twelve-step organization, although our focus is the history

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[00 01:20.280 – 00:01:22.659] of AA and other twelve-step fellowships.

1:19

[00 01:22.659 – 00:01:32.659] Recoveryspeakers.com is a 501[c][3] nonprofit dedicated to preserving and sharing the audio history

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[00 01:32.659 – 00:01:37.060] of AA and other twelve-step fellowships.

1:27

[00 01:37.060 – 00:01:41.180] Um, I lost my spot.

1:29

[00 01:41.180 – 00:01:49.920] We send a daily email featuring a different speaker talk from our archive, recordings from these meetings, and information on upcoming presentations.

1:38

[00 01:59.299 – 00:02:05.560] If you are able to support our work, uh, contributions are appreciated.

1:43

[00 02:05.560 – 00:02:10.300] The donation link is in the chat, or you can use the QR code that is on the screen.

1:51

[00 02:10.300 – 00:02:20.349] And tonight we should have some Q&A at the end of the presentation, so if you have any questions for Nancy, um, please write them down and

2:02

[00 02:20.349 – 00:02:23.360] be ready to a-ask questions at the end of the meeting.

2:06

[00 02:23.360 – 00:02:32.460] And I want to just run through a few flyers here so everyone can see what's coming up at our, uh, history meeting.

2:15

[00 02:32.460 – 00:02:37.639] And this is the flyer for the next two weeks with Mike F.

2:20

[00 02:37.639 – 00:02:41.319] presenting Living the Twelve Traditions.

2:23

[00 02:41.319 – 00:02:45.659] And at the end of the month, it is the last Tuesday with Pat Y.

2:29

[00 02:45.659 – 00:02:48.080] for our conversation with the long-timer.

2:31

[00 02:48.080 – 00:02:52.120] And kicking off December will be Miley T.

2:35

[00 02:52.120 – 00:02:53.379] presenting Mrs.

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[00 02:53.379 – 00:02:55.900] Marty Mann, an early AA woman.

2:39

[00 02:55.900 – 00:03:00.280] And now that is it for me.

2:42

[00 03:00.280 – 00:03:08.219] I am going to go ahead and invite Nancy to unmute, and we will jump into Tradition Twelve.

2:49

[00 03:08.219 – 00:03:10.439] Okay.

2:50

[00 03:10.439 – 00:03:13.180] Hi, my, my name is Nancy Karvonen.

2:53

[00 03:13.180 – 00:03:14.659] I am an alcoholic.

2:55

[00 03:14.659 – 00:03:19.000] Uh, my sobriety date is May twenty-fourth, nineteen seventy-two.

2:58

[00 03:19.000 – 00:03:24.300] And thank you so much, Tim and, and Mike for inviting me to come.

3:04

[00 03:24.300 – 00:03:30.159] And my, my goodness, this is our twelfth time to go through a tradition, so this is really exciting.

3:12

[00 03:30.159 – 00:03:39.460] And just, uh, thank you, all of you, for hanging in there with me and, and working right along with me and answering questions on the checklist.

3:22

[00 03:39.460 – 00:03:42.979] And last week we had a question from Carl.

3:26

[00 03:42.979 – 00:03:46.520] I don't know if Carl's here or not, but I wanted to give him credit.

3:32

[00 03:46.520 – 00:03:56.639] I'm going to put this in the chat, uh, what we came up with, uh, a question Carl had on Tradition Eleven, and we were talking about

3:43

[00 03:56.639 – 00:04:05.960] how we got to get, uh, uh, modesty and anonymity into Tradition Eleven.

3:48

[00 04:05.960 – 00:04:16.180] And that came from the April nineteen forty-six and nineteen forty-seven Grapevine, and then

3:54

[00 04:16.180 – 00:04:26.699] Mike, uh, Fitzpatrick found this pamphlet that talked about Tradition Eleven when it first came out on, on AA tradition.

4:02

[00 04:26.699 – 00:04:32.899] So thank you so much, um, Carl, for doing that, and there's still some more work to be done on that.

4:10

[00 04:32.899 – 00:04:42.959] So, all right, so let's get started on Tradition Twelve and may have even more questions on this one, but it's fun to have all

4:20

[00 04:42.959 – 00:04:44.199] that research in there.

4:22

[00 04:44.199 – 00:04:51.860] So, um, I'm gonna talk about Tradition Twelve and how it can be used in our homes, our groups, and general service.

4:30

[00 04:51.860 – 00:04:59.699] And I'd like to include you in this presentation, so I've asked for volunteers for reading and sharing at the end.

4:39

[00 04:59.699 – 00:05:03.360] Okay, uh, number two, please, Mike.

4:41

[00 05:03.360 – 00:05:12.860] So anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

4:49

[00 05:12.860 – 00:05:22.560] And, uh, num-- uh, number three, uh, sacrifice is the watchword of anonymity.

4:54

[00 05:22.560 – 00:05:26.360] And number four, um, Bill W.

4:57

[00 05:26.360 – 00:05:36.360] wrote an article in the November nineteen forty-eight Grapevine entitled, "Why Alcoholics Anonymous is Anonymous." It's

5:03

[00 05:36.360 – 00:05:42.160] the spiritual substance of anonymity is sacrifice.

5:06

[00 05:42.160 – 00:05:43.720] We give of ourselves.

5:08

[00 05:43.720 – 00:05:46.120] It's not about me, it's about the message.

5:11

[00 05:46.120 – 00:05:47.620] Next slide.

5:13

[00 05:47.620 – 00:05:54.699] For scared and desperate newcomers coming to our doors, we who are sober can offer a warm welcome.

5:20

[00 05:54.699 – 00:05:56.740] You like the puppy dog.

5:22

[00 05:56.740 – 00:06:02.129] And we don't even know their names or anything about them.

5:27

[00 06:02.129 – 00:06:08.180] We can see the pain in their eyes, regardless of who they are or where they came from.

5:34

[00 06:08.180 – 00:06:18.060] As AA members, we have no interest in publicity or notoriety for ourselves or for others.

5:40

[00 06:18.060 – 00:06:21.120] We simply wanna be of service to those who need us.

5:45

[00 06:21.120 – 00:06:31.759] It's been said that the, uh, steps prevent us from committing suicide, the traditions prevent us from committing homicide,

5:52

[00 06:31.759 – 00:06:36.699] and the concepts prevent us from committing genocide.

5:56

[00 06:36.699 – 00:06:41.439] So together, uh, we, we-- keeps us from doing a lot of damage.

6:01

[00 06:41.439 – 00:06:42.420] Bill W.

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[00 06:42.420 – 00:06:46.220] called Tradition Twelve the twelve point to assure our future.

6:06

[00 06:46.220 – 00:06:52.100] The principle is principles before personality.

6:09

[00 06:52.100 – 00:06:57.339] It's not who sa-- uh, who said it, it's what is being said that's important.

6:15

[00 06:57.339 – 00:07:01.939] So Tradition Twelve is a recap of all the traditions.

6:19

[00 07:01.939 – 00:07:09.860] Above, which changed to before in nineteen forty-nine, and Al-Anon still uses the word above.

6:25

[00 07:09.860 – 00:07:12.060] Mm.

6:26

[00 07:12.060 – 00:07:15.639] Traditions one through eleven are for the group.

6:29

[00 07:15.639 – 00:07:18.740] Tradition twelve is for the individual.

6:32

[00 07:18.740 – 00:07:20.480] We're still on slide ten.

6:34

[00 07:20.480 – 00:07:24.560] Uh, okay, n-now number eleven.

6:37

[00 07:24.560 – 00:07:26.939] Uh, okay, here we go.

6:39

[00 07:26.939 – 00:07:33.420] So above, which changed to before in nineteen forty-nine, and of course, Al-Anon still uses-

6:45

[00 07:33.557 – 00:07:34.296] Uses above.

6:46

[00 07:34.296 – 00:07:44.396] So before we had the name Alcoholics Anonymous, Akron had the drunk squad of the Oxford Groups, and New York had the

6:55

[00 07:44.396 – 00:07:46.856] nameless bunch of drunks.

6:57

[00 07:46.856 – 00:07:54.677] My last sponsor, Willie B, told me that you won't find the principles of the traditions written down any place.

7:05

[00 07:54.677 – 00:07:59.956] A fellow named Paul, uh, uh, asked his sponsor, Dr.

7:09

[00 07:59.956 – 00:08:03.317] Bob, where the traditions could be found in our literature.

7:13

[00 08:03.317 – 00:08:13.396] Bob told him that they weren't written down anywhere, but he said, "Just read the book, and whatever stands out to you, that's the principle."

7:23

[00 08:13.396 – 00:08:20.956] So there are several different, several different prin-- uh, versions of principles out there, and you can make up your own.

7:31

[00 08:20.956 – 00:08:24.356] And I've seen several while in my travels around the country.

7:36

[00 08:24.356 – 00:08:26.456] So these are the ones that I have.

7:39

[00 08:26.456 – 00:08:28.396] Uh, next slide.

7:41

[00 08:28.396 – 00:08:31.336] Tradition One: common welfare is unity.

7:43

[00 08:31.336 – 00:08:35.297] Tradition Two: trusted servants, group conscience.

7:46

[00 08:35.297 – 00:08:38.277] Tradition Three: membership requirement.

7:48

[00 08:38.277 – 00:08:40.636] Tradition Four: autonomy.

7:49

[00 08:40.636 – 00:08:43.756] Tradition Five: primary purpose.

7:51

[00 08:43.756 – 00:08:46.636] Tradition Six: non-affiliation.

7:53

[00 08:46.636 – 00:08:49.197] Tradition Seven: self-supporting.

7:54

[00 08:49.197 – 00:08:52.626] Tradition Eight: non-professional.

7:56

[00 08:52.626 – 00:08:55.197] Tradition Nine: spirit of service.

7:58

[00 08:55.197 – 00:08:58.096] Tradition Ten: outside issues.

8:00

[00 08:58.096 – 00:09:02.126] Tradition Eleven: attraction rather than promotion.

8:03

[00 09:02.126 – 00:09:05.697] Tradition Twelve: principles before personalities.

8:05

[00 09:05.697 – 00:09:06.996] Next slide.

8:06

[00 09:06.996 – 00:09:14.817] Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

8:13

[00 09:14.817 – 00:09:15.976] That's the short form.

8:15

[00 09:15.976 – 00:09:26.236] And, uh, the original short form was in nineteen forty-nine, and, and it said to place principles above personalities.

8:22

[00 09:26.236 – 00:09:35.797] And the long form, "And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance.

8:30

[00 09:35.797 – 00:09:45.876] It reminds us that we are to place princels-- principles before personalities, and we are to actually practice a genuine

8:38

[00 09:45.876 – 00:09:51.417] humility." And it used to say truly humble modesty.

8:42

[00 09:51.417 – 00:10:01.476] To this end, that our great blessings may never spoil us, we shall live-- forever live in thankful contemplation to Him who presides

8:51

[00 10:01.476 – 00:10:02.396] over us all.

8:53

[00 10:02.396 – 00:10:09.076] Now, each traditi-tradition asks us to give up something from the Grapevine nineteen forty-eight.

8:58

[00 10:09.076 – 00:10:19.476] Tradition Twelve in its mood of humble anonymity plainly enough comprehends the pr- comprehends the preceding eleven.

9:05

[00 10:19.476 – 00:10:30.076] The Twelve Points of Tradition are little else than a specific application of the spirit of the Twelve Steps of Recovery to

9:14

[00 10:30.076 – 00:10:34.956] our general group life and the relations of the Society in general.

9:19

[00 10:34.956 – 00:10:45.116] The recovery steps would make in-- each individual a, a one and one with God, and the Twelve Points

9:26

[00 10:45.116 – 00:10:51.517] of Tradition would make us one with each other and the whole with the world about us.

9:33

[00 10:51.517 – 00:10:54.236] Unity is our, is our aim.

9:36

[00 10:54.236 – 00:10:55.956] Bill W.

9:37

[00 10:55.956 – 00:11:06.476] concludes this article with, "AA traditions are, we trust, securely anchored in those wise precepts: charity, gratitude, and humility.

9:45

[00 11:06.476 – 00:11:14.197] Nor have we forgotten prudence." That means use of good judgment, common sense, caution, or discretion.

9:51

[00 11:14.197 – 00:11:19.817] And may these virtues ever stand clear before us in our meditations.

9:56

[00 11:19.817 – 00:11:26.116] May Alcoholics Anonymous serve God in happy unison for as long as He may need us.

10:02

[00 11:26.116 – 00:11:29.706] And many ask, "What is anonymity?

10:05

[00 11:29.706 – 00:11:34.197] What is humility?" Well, to me, they are almost the same thing.

10:10

[00 11:34.197 – 00:11:39.057] They are devoid of prestige and acknowledgment.

10:13

[00 11:39.057 – 00:11:49.475] My nineteen thirty-five Webster's Dictionary definition of anonymity says bearing no author's name

10:18

[00 11:49.475 – 00:11:50.396] or nameless.

10:20

[00 11:50.396 – 00:11:54.956] So we do something without getting acknowledged for it.

10:23

[00 11:54.956 – 00:12:03.497] Humility, it means modest, meek, submissive, obscure, unpretentious, unassuming nature, or passive.

10:28

[00 12:03.497 – 00:12:06.576] They demand nothing.

10:30

[00 12:06.576 – 00:12:08.136] They don't ask to be right.

10:32

[00 12:08.136 – 00:12:10.236] They don't ask to be recognized.

10:35

[00 12:10.236 – 00:12:20.277] They simply suggest that the icy egocentric elements in all of us retire into the background and that we wear the warm cloak of

10:45

[00 12:20.277 – 00:12:24.817] anonymity and humility, and therefore spirituality.

10:47

[00 12:24.817 – 00:12:33.096] That's from The Quest for Spirituality from Walnut Creek, California, March two thousand, Voices of Long-Term Sobriety.

10:54

[00 12:33.096 – 00:12:35.757] Maybe we have that person in our group tonight.

10:58

[00 12:35.757 – 00:12:45.937] And I'm gonna read Tradition Twelve on page one eighty-four in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, if you care along-- to follow along

11:07

[00 12:45.937 – 00:12:46.396] with me.

11:08

[00 12:46.396 – 00:12:56.636] So again, Tradition Twelve, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

11:17

[00 12:56.636 – 00:13:06.687] The spiritual substance of anonymity is sacrifice because AA's Twelve Traditions repeatedly ask us to give up personal desires for

11:25

[00 13:06.687 – 00:13:07.636] the common good.

11:26

[00 13:07.636 – 00:13:15.037] We realize that the sacrificial spirit well symbolized by anonymity is the foundation of them all.

11:33

[00 13:15.037 – 00:13:23.876] It is AA's proved willingness to make these sacrifices that gives people their high confidence in our future.

11:40

[00 13:23.876 – 00:13:29.456] But in the beginning, anonymity was not born of confidence; it was the child of our fears.

11:47

[00 13:29.456 – 00:13:34.096] Our first nameless groups of alcoholics were secret societies.

11:50

[00 13:34.096 – 00:13:39.616] No prospect could find us except only through a few trusted friends.

11:55

[00 13:39.616 – 00:13:43.736] The bare hint of publicity, even for our work, shocked us.

12:00

[00 13:43.736 – 00:13:50.716] Though ex-drinkers, we still thought we had to hide for public distrust and to cont-contempt.

12:06

[00 13:50.716 – 00:13:57.017] When the Big Book appeared in nineteen thirty-eight, we called it Alcoholics Anonymous.

12:11

[00 13:57.017 – 00:14:07.156] Its forward made this revealing statement: "It is important that we remain anonymous because we are too few at present to handle the

12:20

[00 14:07.156 – 00:14:12.876] overwhelming number of personal appeals which may repo-- result from this publication.

12:25

[00 14:12.876 – 00:14:22.976] Being mostly business and professional folks, we cannot well carry on our occupation at such a, an event." And between those lines, it's easy to read that

12:36

[00 14:22.976 – 00:14:30.076] our fear-- read our fear that large numbers of incoming people might break our anonymity wide open.

12:43

[00 14:30.076 – 00:14:34.277] As I-- you just saw in that last slide, a lot of us were unemployment.

12:49

[00 14:34.277 – 00:14:39.356] We were afraid of what people knew about our drinking, that we'd never get a job.

12:55

[00 14:39.356 – 00:14:45.197] As the AA groups multiplied, so did anonymity problems.

12:59

[00 14:45.197 – 00:14:55.317] Enthusiastic over the spectacular recovery of our brother alcoholic would sometimes discuss those intimate and harrowing aspects of his case

13:07

[00 14:55.317 – 00:14:57.537] meant for his sponsor's ears alone.

13:10

[00 14:57.537 – 00:15:02.497] The aggrieved victim would then rightly declare that his trust had been broken.

13:15

[00 15:02.497 – 00:15:06.866] When such stories got into circulation outside of AA, the law-

13:20

[00 15:06.982 – 00:15:11.762] Loss of confidence in our anonymity promise was e-- was severe.

13:24

[00 15:11.762 – 00:15:14.482] It frequently turned people away from us.

13:27

[00 15:14.482 – 00:15:21.662] Clearly, every member's name and story had to be confidential if he wished.

13:32

[00 15:21.662 – 00:15:26.472] This was our first lesson in the practical application of anonymity.

13:37

[00 15:26.472 – 00:15:32.782] With characteristic intemperance, however, some of our newcomers cared not at all for secrecy.

13:43

[00 15:32.782 – 00:15:39.341] They wanted to shout AA from the helicopters and the hilla-- housetops, and they did.

13:49

[00 15:39.341 – 00:15:46.162] Alcoholics barely dry rushed out bright-eyed, buttonholing anyone who would listen to their stories.

13:54

[00 15:46.162 – 00:15:50.682] Others hurried to place themselves before microphones and cameras.

13:58

[00 15:50.682 – 00:15:54.222] Sometimes they got distressingly drunk and let the groups down.

14:02

[00 15:54.222 – 00:15:58.742] With a bang, they changed from AA members to AA show-offs.

14:07

[00 15:58.742 – 00:16:02.472] And this phenomenon to contrast really set us thinking.

14:11

[00 16:02.472 – 00:16:08.461] Surely before us was the question: How anonymous should an AA member be?

14:16

[00 16:08.461 – 00:16:18.482] Our growth made it-- growth made it plain that we couldn't keep-- we couldn't be a secret society, but it was equally plain that we couldn't be a

14:27

[00 16:18.482 – 00:16:20.102] vaudeville circus either.

14:29

[00 16:20.102 – 00:16:30.242] The charting of a safe plas-- uh, safe path between these extremes took a long time, and as a rule, the average newcomer wanted his family

14:39

[00 16:30.242 – 00:16:33.402] to know immediately what he was trying to do.

14:43

[00 16:33.402 – 00:16:35.942] Uh, they were the closest to him.

14:46

[00 16:35.942 – 00:16:40.961] They already knew what was-- what he was, but what was he trying to do?

14:52

[00 16:40.961 – 00:16:47.102] He also wanted to tell others who tried to help and his doctor, his minister, and his close friends.

14:59

[00 16:47.102 – 00:16:54.961] As he gained confidence, he felt right to explain his new way of life to his employer and his business associates.

15:08

[00 16:54.961 – 00:17:00.642] When opportunities to be helpful came along, he found he could talk easily about AA to almost anyone.

15:15

[00 17:00.642 – 00:17:10.622] Those quiet disclosures helped him to lose his fear of the alcoholic stigma and spread the news of AA's existence in his community.

15:24

[00 17:10.622 – 00:17:15.642] Many a new man and woman came to AA because of such conversations.

15:29

[00 17:15.642 – 00:17:21.062] Though not in the strict letter of anonymity, such communications were well within its spirit.

15:35

[00 17:21.062 – 00:17:25.510] But it became apparent that the word-of-mouth method was too limited.

15:40

[00 17:25.510 – 00:17:28.942] Our work as such needed to be publicized.

15:43

[00 17:28.942 – 00:17:31.342] How was anybody gonna hear about us?

15:46

[00 17:31.342 – 00:17:37.262] The AA groups would have to reach quickly as many despairing alcoholics as they could.

15:52

[00 17:37.262 – 00:17:47.682] Consequently, many groups began to hold meetings which were open to interested friends in the public so that the average citizen could see for himself

16:02

[00 17:47.682 – 00:17:49.262] just what AA was all about.

16:05

[00 17:49.262 – 00:17:53.521] The response to these meetings was warmly sympathetic.

16:08

[00 17:53.521 – 00:18:03.622] Soon, groups began to receive requests for AA speakers to appear be-be-before civic organizations, church groups, and medical

16:15

[00 18:03.622 – 00:18:04.541] societies.

16:16

[00 18:04.541 – 00:18:14.762] Provided anonymity was maintained on these platforms and reports-- reporters present were cautioned against the use

16:23

[00 18:14.762 – 00:18:18.082] of names or pictures, the result was fine.

16:26

[00 18:18.082 – 00:18:25.961] Then came our first excursion into major publicity, which were breathtaking.

16:31

[00 18:25.961 – 00:18:35.642] Cleveland's Plain Dealer articles October twelfth, nineteen thirty-nine about us ran that town's membership from a few into hundreds overnight.

16:39

[00 18:35.642 – 00:18:37.762] The news story of Mr.

16:41

[00 18:37.762 – 00:18:44.721] Rockefeller's dinner for Alcoholics Anonymous helped double our membership in a year's time.

16:46

[00 18:44.721 – 00:18:50.491] Jack Alexander's famous Saturday Evening Post piece made AA a national institution.

16:51

[00 18:50.491 – 00:18:55.682] Such tributes as these brought opportunities for still more recognition.

16:55

[00 18:55.682 – 00:19:00.862] Other newspapers and magazines wanted AA stories.

16:58

[00 19:00.862 – 00:19:04.182] Film companies wanted photographs.

17:00

[00 19:04.182 – 00:19:12.041] Radio and finally television beseeched us with request for appearances.

17:04

[00 19:12.041 – 00:19:14.141] What should we do?

17:06

[00 19:14.141 – 00:19:22.481] As this tide offering a pu-- top public approval swept in, we realized it could do us incalculable good or great harm.

17:15

[00 19:22.481 – 00:19:26.122] Everything would depend upon how it was channeled.

17:18

[00 19:26.122 – 00:19:36.241] We certainly couldn't afford to take the chance of letting self-appointed members present themselves as messiahs representing AA

17:26

[00 19:36.241 – 00:19:37.562] before the whole public.

17:27

[00 19:37.562 – 00:19:41.662] The promoter instinct in us might be our undoing.

17:31

[00 19:41.662 – 00:19:51.682] If even one publicly got drunk or was lured into using AA's name for his own purposes, the damage might be irreparable.

17:40

[00 19:51.682 – 00:20:00.342] At this altitude, press, radio, films, and television anonymity, one hundred percent anonymity, was the only possible answer.

17:47

[00 20:00.342 – 00:20:06.102] Here, principles would have to come before personalities without exception.

17:51

[00 20:06.102 – 00:20:11.001] These experiences taught us that anonymity is real humility at work.

17:56

[00 20:11.001 – 00:20:17.152] It is an all-pervading spiritual quality which today keynotes AA life everywhere.

18:01

[00 20:17.152 – 00:20:27.221] Moved by the spirit of anonymity, we try to give up our natural desires for personal distinction as AA members, both

18:09

[00 20:27.221 – 00:20:31.382] among fellow alcoholics and before the general public.

18:13

[00 20:31.382 – 00:20:41.942] As we lay aside the very human aspirations, we believe that each of us takes part in the weaving of a protective mantle, which covers our whole society

18:24

[00 20:41.942 – 00:20:45.862] and under which we may grow and work in unity.

18:28

[00 20:45.862 – 00:20:54.782] We are sure that humility expressed by anonymity is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have.

18:35

[00 20:54.782 – 00:21:00.142] Tradition Twelve encompasses all Twelve Traditions, and each one has a principle.

18:40

[00 21:00.142 – 00:21:03.922] So Tradition One: Common welfare, unity.

18:42

[00 21:03.922 – 00:21:09.102] The common welfare of all AA members comes before individual welfare.

18:47

[00 21:09.102 – 00:21:14.282] We are part of a whole, and it takes all of us to make our fellowship work.

18:54

[00 21:14.282 – 00:21:18.521] What would happen to me if AA as a whole disappeared?

18:58

[00 21:18.521 – 00:21:20.021] I wouldn't be here.

19:00

[00 21:20.021 – 00:21:24.182] Tradition Two: Our group conscience, trusted servants.

19:03

[00 21:24.182 – 00:21:27.582] Our trusted servants do not rule us; they only serve.

19:07

[00 21:27.582 – 00:21:36.862] Rotation of leadership ensures that no one owns a position and everyone gets an opportunity to serve.

19:14

[00 21:36.862 – 00:21:40.342] Tradition Three: It's a membership requirement.

19:17

[00 21:40.342 – 00:21:49.082] Any alcoholic is welcome, no matter what other problems they may have or how they look, smell, dress, or act.

19:25

[00 21:49.082 – 00:21:59.241] In 1987, the AA Primary Purpose card or the blue card-- We go to the next slide,

19:31

[00 21:59.241 – 00:21:59.562] please.

19:32

[00 21:59.562 – 00:22:09.932] In keeping with our singleness of purpose and our Third Tradition, which states that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire

19:41

[00 22:09.932 – 00:22:19.142] to stop drinking, we ask that when discussing our problems, we confine ourselves to those problems as they relate to alcoholism.

19:50

[00 22:19.142 – 00:22:23.562] And n-next slide, Tradition Four: Autonomy.

19:52

[00 22:23.562 – 00:22:33.922] Each group may have its own format, tradition, customs, and as long as they don't reflect-- affect AA as a whole, I can't expect an, an

20:02

[00 22:33.922 – 00:22:40.302] AA group to conform to my standards just because this is how they did it where I

20:09

[00 22:40.426 – 00:22:41.126] Got sober.

20:10

[00 22:41.126 – 00:22:43.487] I like what Father Tom says.

20:13

[00 22:43.487 – 00:22:50.706] He says, "Wherever you got sober, that's where they do it right." So Tradition Five: Primary Purpose.

20:20

[00 22:50.706 – 00:22:53.706] Shoemaker, stick to thy last.

20:22

[00 22:53.706 – 00:22:57.366] It's better to do one thing supremely well than many badly.

20:27

[00 22:57.366 – 00:23:06.346] Our focus is on the alcoholic who still suffers, not others who identify with a myriad of other ailments or issues they may have.

20:36

[00 23:06.346 – 00:23:14.047] We don't get involved with or endorse any outside enterprises or causes.

20:41

[00 23:14.047 – 00:23:17.126] Tradition Six: Non-Affiliation.

20:43

[00 23:17.126 – 00:23:20.987] AA does not affiliate with outside enterprises.

20:46

[00 23:20.987 – 00:23:24.527] Members may work with outside ventures as individuals.

20:49

[00 23:24.527 – 00:23:30.287] We may adhere to our primary purpose.

20:52

[00 23:30.287 – 00:23:35.346] Well, we actually must adhere to our primary purpose, else we're not going to have one.

20:59

[00 23:35.346 – 00:23:37.586] Tradition Seven: Self-Supporting.

21:00

[00 23:37.586 – 00:23:42.547] We support AA financially as well as physically by our service.

21:05

[00 23:42.547 – 00:23:50.326] And consider giving an anonymous Grapevine subscription.

21:08

[00 23:50.326 – 00:23:53.366] Wow, they don't know where it came from.

21:11

[00 23:53.366 – 00:23:59.686] We support our groups, our dist- our districts, our areas, and even our general service office.

21:17

[00 23:59.686 – 00:24:01.366] Go.

21:18

[00 24:01.366 – 00:24:03.527] Tradition Eight: Non-Professional.

21:20

[00 24:03.527 – 00:24:07.726] We do service work for fun and for free.

21:24

[00 24:07.726 – 00:24:10.767] The rewards are our own sobriety.

21:26

[00 24:10.767 – 00:24:14.247] This is a program of attraction, not promotion.

21:30

[00 24:14.247 – 00:24:18.967] Yeah, nobody's standing there with their wallet open paying us for our service.

21:35

[00 24:18.967 – 00:24:21.247] Tradition Nine: Spirit of Service.

21:37

[00 24:21.247 – 00:24:27.166] The aim of each AA member is personal sobriety.

21:41

[00 24:27.166 – 00:24:32.846] The aim of our services is to bring sobriety within all who want it.

21:47

[00 24:32.846 – 00:24:37.007] And Tradition 10: Outside Issues.

21:49

[00 24:37.007 – 00:24:45.326] Outside issues or controversies have no place in our meeting rooms.

21:53

[00 24:45.326 – 00:24:49.067] That includes what we say and what we wear.

21:57

[00 24:49.067 – 00:24:55.906] Bill W implored us to see what we could give to a meeting and not what we can get out of it.

22:06

[00 24:55.906 – 00:24:59.706] Tradition 11: Attraction Rather Than Promotion.

22:08

[00 24:59.706 – 00:25:03.226] Anonymity means unacknowledged or unknown.

22:10

[00 25:03.226 – 00:25:05.946] We have no big shots in AA.

22:13

[00 25:05.946 – 00:25:16.777] Every AA m- member's name must be confidential if he or she wishes, but be watchful of breaking anonymity

22:21

[00 25:16.777 – 00:25:18.287] on social media.

22:22

[00 25:18.287 – 00:25:28.287] Let us always remember that anonymity, not taking credit for our own or others' recovery, is

22:29

[00 25:28.287 – 00:25:30.057] humility at work.

22:30

[00 25:30.057 – 00:25:35.866] And Tradition 12: Principles Before Personalities.

22:33

[00 25:35.866 – 00:25:41.226] What happens if someone breaks their anonymity publicly and then gets drunk?

22:37

[00 25:41.226 – 00:25:44.666] What does that say about Alcoholics Anonymous?

22:40

[00 25:44.666 – 00:25:53.426] Again, it's not what is said, uh, uh, I mean, it's what is said, not who said it that's important.

22:48

[00 25:53.426 – 00:26:01.987] And anonymity is so fragile, you can break it with one finger.

22:53

[00 26:01.987 – 00:26:07.987] I like to say nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen and finger.

22:59

[00 26:07.987 – 00:26:14.386] Images and quotes reprinted with permission of AA World Services.

23:04

[00 26:14.386 – 00:26:20.606] Open meetings are so people can find out what we're all about, open to the public.

23:10

[00 26:20.606 – 00:26:27.346] I try to live my life by spiritual principles instead of by trying to please personalities.

23:16

[00 26:27.346 – 00:26:37.366] Uh, the 16th printing had, uh, of the 12 steps and 12 traditions, had the long form of

23:23

[00 26:37.366 – 00:26:38.156] the traditions.

23:24

[00 26:38.156 – 00:26:46.646] On page 185, the third paragraph, vaudeville means a variety of acts.

23:29

[00 26:46.646 – 00:26:52.666] Some, some of you are too young to remember hearing about vaudeville.

23:34

[00 26:52.666 – 00:26:56.787] They were stage acts, uh, long before we had television.

23:38

[00 26:56.787 – 00:27:06.926] Bill W said, "May Alcoholics Anonymous serve God in happy unison for as long as He may need us." Okay,

23:46

[00 27:06.926 – 00:27:09.206] uh, I have us on...

23:48

[00 27:09.206 – 00:27:12.067] Okay, we can keep, keep going.

23:51

[00 27:12.067 – 00:27:13.547] Okay, here we are.

23:52

[00 27:13.547 – 00:27:23.307] Uh, on page 186, the last paragraph talks about movies featuring AA, starting with we, we have, starting with Raymiland.

24:00

[00 27:23.307 – 00:27:25.987] There we have Raymiland, The Last Weekend.

24:03

[00 27:25.987 – 00:27:27.787] Some of you may remember these.

24:06

[00 27:27.787 – 00:27:32.746] In fact, you could probably go online somehow and find them.

24:10

[00 27:32.746 – 00:27:38.626] John K., uh, sent me some clips from some of the old movies.

24:16

[00 27:38.626 – 00:27:47.027] He sent me Come Back, Little Sheba, and that's come- coming up next, and I really, really just, just love that.

24:24

[00 27:47.027 – 00:27:48.436] It was great to see it again.

24:27

[00 27:48.436 – 00:27:54.186] So The Last Weekend was n- uh, November 29th, 1945.

24:31

[00 27:54.186 – 00:27:55.426] That, wow.

24:32

[00 27:55.426 – 00:28:02.537] Uh, and then Burt Lancaster, Shirley Booth, Come Back, Little Sheba, that's the one I just got to watch last week.

24:40

[00 28:02.537 – 00:28:11.606] And Susan Hayward, I'll Cry Tomorrow, the story of Lillian Roth, December 20- 25th, 1955.

24:46

[00 28:11.606 – 00:28:13.126] I remember when that came out.

24:49

[00 28:13.126 – 00:28:21.896] Jack Lemmon in Reme- uh, Lee Remick, Days of Wine and Roses, December 26th, 1962.

24:54

[00 28:21.896 – 00:28:26.586] When I was in my first month, my sponsor had me stay home and watch that.

25:01

[00 28:26.586 – 00:28:36.547] The only thing I could identify with was her pulling out her desk drawer and pushing a chocolate bar in the back of the drawer so nobody could hide it.

25:12

[00 28:36.547 – 00:28:38.226] I was still in a lot of denial.

25:16

[00 28:38.226 – 00:28:40.307] Oh, I'm s- I'm still here, though.

25:19

[00 28:40.307 – 00:28:45.846] Okay, the next one, the, uh, uh, Jack Alexander pamphlet.

25:23

[00 28:45.846 – 00:28:51.027] This pamphlet is a great example of reporting on Alcoholics Anonymous.

25:28

[00 28:51.027 – 00:28:55.406] Did a, a wonderful job, and that's still available.

25:31

[00 28:55.406 – 00:29:02.166] And now we go to the fun part, our traditions checklist.

25:36

[00 29:02.166 – 00:29:03.106] Yay!

25:37

[00 29:03.106 – 00:29:06.267] This is where you get to be the stars of the show.

25:42

[00 29:06.267 – 00:29:07.206] I love this.

25:43

[00 29:07.206 – 00:29:11.146] We're going to start with, uh, Debbie N.

25:47

[00 29:11.146 – 00:29:12.507] from Des Moines.

25:48

[00 29:12.507 – 00:29:14.385] Go ahead, Debbie.

25:50

[00 29:14.385 – 00:29:22.206] Okay.

25:50

[00 29:22.206 – 00:29:23.126] Thank you, Tim.

25:52

[00 29:23.126 – 00:29:29.346] Um, thank you, Nancy, for allowing me to, to participate.

25:56

[00 29:29.346 – 00:29:32.106] Um, I really like these questions.

25:59

[00 29:32.106 – 00:29:34.166] Um, oops.

26:00

[00 29:34.166 – 00:29:35.787] Oh, hang on.

26:01

[00 29:35.787 – 00:29:36.926] I got another message.

26:03

[00 29:36.926 – 00:29:40.567] Let me get rid of that so I can read the full question here.

26:09

[00 29:40.567 – 00:29:49.886] Uh, when, um, when you were talking about...

26:12

[00 29:49.886 – 00:29:54.846] Uh, it's actually on 190, right?

26:15

[00 29:54.846 – 00:29:55.866] If I, um...

26:16

[00 29:55.866 – 00:29:57.606] In the middle.

26:18

[00 29:57.606 – 00:30:01.297] You know, the promoter instinct- Mm-hmm ...

26:20

[00 30:01.297 – 00:30:04.007] you know, look at me, that ego- Mm-hmm ...

26:24

[00 30:04.007 – 00:30:04.287] right?

26:24

[00 30:04.287 – 00:30:06.787] Might be our undoing.

26:26

[00 30:06.787 – 00:30:13.777] You know, so I come in here, um, not really knowing that selfish-

26:32

[00 30:13.956 – 00:30:17.076] Self-centeredness is the root of my problems, right?

26:35

[00 30:17.076 – 00:30:22.506] And that ego, um, is, is off-kilter, right?

26:38

[00 30:22.506 – 00:30:28.776] And I, um, I can do a lot of damage, right?

26:43

[00 30:28.776 – 00:30:38.375] By trying to, to, um, get my way, um, you know, without, you know, really...

26:49

[00 30:38.375 – 00:30:42.836] And I was thinking about the, you know, our common welfare comes first.

26:54

[00 30:42.836 – 00:30:52.816] Um, and this is what that last question is talking about, is that what would happen to me if AA, um, as a whole disappeared?

27:04

[00 30:52.816 – 00:31:03.196] You know, and I get to, to practice these principles, you know, at a, a business meeting, my home, you know, um, you

27:13

[00 31:03.196 – 00:31:08.855] know, even going through these with you, Nancy, and, uh, hearing other people discuss these.

27:19

[00 31:08.855 – 00:31:19.055] You know, it has me really thinking about where, um, you know, where, where, um,

27:25

[00 31:19.055 – 00:31:25.766] would AA be if I, um, you know, tried to run the show, right?

27:31

[00 31:25.766 – 00:31:28.076] Um, that, that big shotism.

27:33

[00 31:28.076 – 00:31:32.395] Um, so I've, uh, you know, new...

27:36

[00 31:32.395 – 00:31:42.056] I, I've experienced this too, you know, going to, um, Vancouver, um, going to, um, Founder's Day, you know.

27:44

[00 31:42.056 – 00:31:48.996] And there's, you know, really a reminder, you know, to protect, we're all responsible for that common welfare.

27:51

[00 31:48.996 – 00:31:53.976] And, um, you know, just a click of, "Hey, look at me.

27:56

[00 31:53.976 – 00:31:55.536] Um, here's my chip.

27:58

[00 31:55.536 – 00:31:57.276] Look at me," you know.

28:00

[00 31:57.276 – 00:32:05.486] And I have a tendency, and I, before knowing about these traditions, to do that because I thought it was all about me, and it's not.

28:11

[00 32:05.486 – 00:32:13.655] Um, you know, um, the traditions, without them, I mean, it, it would cost many lives.

28:17

[00 32:13.655 – 00:32:18.115] Um, so, so grateful for, for those traditions.

28:20

[00 32:18.115 – 00:32:21.816] And what would happen to me if AA as a whole disappeared?

28:25

[00 32:21.816 – 00:32:24.836] Well, so would I, right?

28:28

[00 32:24.836 – 00:32:26.966] So would I, and so, and, and very many.

28:31

[00 32:26.966 – 00:32:33.405] And, you know, I experienced the, uh, COVID when, uh, AA meetings were shutting down, and that was a lot.

28:39

[00 32:33.405 – 00:32:35.476] That was really scary, you know.

28:42

[00 32:35.476 – 00:32:38.155] But we all found each other, and look at us.

28:46

[00 32:38.155 – 00:32:39.476] Yeah.

28:47

[00 32:39.476 – 00:32:40.796] We found our way, and thank you.

28:50

[00 32:40.796 – 00:32:41.875] Thank God for that.

28:52

[00 32:41.875 – 00:32:44.296] So, thank you, Nancy.

28:54

[00 32:44.296 – 00:32:45.144] Thank you, Debbie.

28:55

[00 32:45.144 – 00:32:52.536] Yes, this is a we program, not an I program, and if I don't consider everybody else, there'll be no sobriety for me.

29:04

[00 32:52.536 – 00:33:03.076] Without AA, my stinking thinking would return, and I'd probably drink again, so, and to drink is to die, and I need to be reminded about what I was like.

29:16

[00 33:03.076 – 00:33:04.415] Okay, number two.

29:18

[00 33:04.415 – 00:33:05.395] Thank you, Debbie.

29:19

[00 33:05.395 – 00:33:08.336] Num- um, number two, Mike K.

29:22

[00 33:08.336 – 00:33:09.556] from Arizona.

29:23

[00 33:09.556 – 00:33:18.736] When I do not trust or agree with AA's current servants, who do I wish had the authority to straighten them out?

29:32

[00 33:18.736 – 00:33:20.456] Well, that would be me.

29:34

[00 33:20.456 – 00:33:23.585] I wish I had the authority to straighten them out.

29:38

[00 33:23.585 – 00:33:27.276] Uh, m- you know what?

29:40

[00 33:27.276 – 00:33:34.195] Current AA servants, you know, for the last couple years or so, it's been pretty much on the group level.

29:48

[00 33:34.195 – 00:33:44.236] Um, and so there's not too much that I really disagree with that doesn't

29:54

[00 33:44.296 – 00:33:47.155] pass, you know, on a group level thing.

29:57

[00 33:47.155 – 00:33:53.895] I try, I try to turn that power over to the conscious of the group like we're, uh, taught to do.

30:06

[00 33:53.895 – 00:34:03.976] Um, I have a large men's group that I'm very involved in, and at times it's completely out of control, what appears to me to

30:16

[00 34:04.016 – 00:34:05.395] be completely out of control.

30:18

[00 34:05.395 – 00:34:13.856] Uh, it always rights itself somehow, and, uh, I've learned to mostly stay out of it.

30:24

[00 34:13.856 – 00:34:24.135] And, uh, from experience and, uh, put into my own personal practice is to maybe observe, uh, things that I see that I might not agree

30:35

[00 34:24.135 – 00:34:26.356] with rather than become directly involved in them.

30:38

[00 34:26.356 – 00:34:30.476] And, um, so for me it's, it's easy.

30:41

[00 34:30.476 – 00:34:39.815] It's a little bit easier, but it just, uh, you know, my disagreement or thinking that people aren't doing things right isn't limited just to AA servants.

30:52

[00 34:39.815 – 00:34:43.536] It's kind of like across the board, across culture and society.

30:57

[00 34:43.536 – 00:34:53.096] So it's a thing that I practice all the time in any situation I'm in, um, and I've learned the hard way that I, I rarely get my way.

31:08

[00 34:53.096 – 00:34:57.655] And so, uh, it's a thing that I just work on all, uh, you know, whether it's AA or not AA.

31:16

[00 34:57.655 – 00:35:00.056] Thank you, Mike.

31:18

[00 35:00.056 – 00:35:01.836] You know, we don't have AA police.

31:21

[00 35:01.836 – 00:35:04.376] Sometimes I wish we would, but no, we don't.

31:25

[00 35:04.376 – 00:35:12.135] And if I have a problem, I can talk to that person in, uh, directly or go to the group conscience meeting.

31:33

[00 35:12.135 – 00:35:14.775] I trust my trusted servants.

31:36

[00 35:14.775 – 00:35:19.476] They have our best interests at heart, and I don't need to straighten anyone out.

31:42

[00 35:19.476 – 00:35:21.775] God, I can't even straighten me out, so.

31:45

[00 35:21.775 – 00:35:26.576] Okay, let's go with, uh, Eric, uh, from New York.

31:49

[00 35:26.576 – 00:35:37.876] Hi,

31:50

[00 35:37.876 – 00:35:38.655] Eric Alcava.

31:51

[00 35:38.655 – 00:35:39.556] Hi, Eric.

31:52

[00 35:39.556 – 00:35:41.536] Thank you so much, Nancy.

31:55

[00 35:41.536 – 00:35:44.215] Uh, question three.

31:56

[00 35:44.215 – 00:35:54.275] Uh, it's, uh, three, my opinions, in my opinions of and remarks about other AAs, do I imply

32:03

[00 35:54.275 – 00:36:01.596] that membership requirements go beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond the desire to stay sober, in my opinions?

32:10

[00 36:01.596 – 00:36:10.596] Uh, I would say the answer is no.

32:13

[00 36:10.596 – 00:36:19.715] Um, um, uh, AA is like New York City.

32:17

[00 36:19.715 – 00:36:29.755] It's a melting pot of all, all kinds of different, uh, AAs or people that, uh, that, you know, c- that, you know, c- that,

32:27

[00 36:29.755 – 00:36:31.715] you know, come-- they c- well, excuse me.

32:30

[00 36:31.715 – 00:36:35.155] They come into our fellowship, uh, uh.

32:33

[00 36:35.155 – 00:36:45.916] As long as I keep an open mind, as long as the groups or I keep an open mind as to who walks in through the doors, um, I found that we've, uh,

32:46

[00 36:45.916 – 00:36:49.516] w- uh, uh, we need to accept everyone.

32:50

[00 36:49.516 – 00:36:55.096] And, um, um, um, so, so it was an easy question.

32:54

[00 36:55.096 – 00:36:55.615] Thank you.

32:55

[00 36:55.615 – 00:36:57.956] Uh, th- thank you, Eric.

32:57

[00 36:57.956 – 00:37:00.896] You know, it's all right to praise a person for their works.

33:02

[00 37:00.896 – 00:37:10.396] However, I need to keep any negative comments to myself, and gossip can tear a group apart, and I'm not the judge and jury of anybody.

33:13

[00 37:10.396 – 00:37:12.695] I need, really need to be mindful of that.

33:16

[00 37:12.695 – 00:37:14.275] Okay.

33:17

[00 37:14.275 – 00:37:18.376] Oh, I keep trying to change, and Tim's in charge, not me.

33:22

[00 37:18.376 – 00:37:24.195] Lisa from New Orleans.

33:24

[00 37:24.195 – 00:37:26.635] Hi, my name is Lisa.

33:26

[00 37:26.635 – 00:37:27.356] I'm an alcoholic.

33:28

[00 37:27.356 – 00:37:28.155] Hi, Lisa.

33:29

[00 37:28.155 – 00:37:30.735] Um, this meeting is lovely.

33:31

[00 37:30.735 – 00:37:31.576] Thank you so much.

33:33

[00 37:31.576 – 00:37:38.896] Uh, question four, have I a personal responsibility to help an AA group fulfill its primary purpose?

33:40

[00 37:38.896 – 00:37:40.836] What is my part?

33:42

[00 37:40.836 – 00:37:47.226] Um, so yes, um, how do I help it?

33:46

[00 37:50.161 – 00:37:51.380] I absolutely do.

33:47

[00 37:51.380 – 00:38:01.541] Um, my part is, um, to, um, be present, to

33:51

[00 38:01.541 – 00:38:02.621] pay attention.

33:52

[00 38:02.621 – 00:38:12.621] Um, one of the biggest compliments I've ever gotten, I think, in my sobriety, is when I meet a young woman and she says, "Oh," You know, I introduce myself, and

34:05

[00 38:12.621 – 00:38:15.300] she goes, "Yeah, I met you about a year ago.

34:09

[00 38:15.300 – 00:38:18.561] You were the first person that said hello to me in the group." Yeah.

34:14

[00 38:18.561 – 00:38:20.420] Oh, my goodness.

34:16

[00 38:20.420 – 00:38:29.440] Um, so I believe it's, it's definitely to, um, pay attention, watch what's going on, be respectful.

34:23

[00 38:29.440 – 00:38:39.860] Um, and whether it's my home group or not, like, I like to get there a little bit early, stay a little bit late, grab a chair, clean a pot, do whatever.

34:35

[00 38:39.860 – 00:38:44.440] Um, 'cause all of those things keep it, keep it going.

34:40

[00 38:44.440 – 00:38:54.641] And I had to learn to do that and be mindful be- from not doing it, from going to AA meetings and just hanging with my friends, and realizing that

34:52

[00 38:54.641 – 00:38:57.920] that's not serving the purpose that I need to to be here.

34:56

[00 38:57.920 – 00:39:00.541] I can hang out with my friends later.

35:00

[00 39:00.541 – 00:39:02.360] Um, so that's all I have.

35:03

[00 39:02.360 – 00:39:03.260] Thank you.

35:04

[00 39:03.260 – 00:39:05.221] And this is Lisa's first time with us.

35:07

[00 39:05.221 – 00:39:06.221] Good job, Lisa.

35:09

[00 39:06.221 – 00:39:09.800] So it's up to each member to give back.

35:12

[00 39:09.800 – 00:39:19.800] I, I need to welcome others and ma- ch- maintain, uh, that we have a, a, a safe, clean, and attractive meeting place, make

35:22

[00 39:19.800 – 00:39:29.831] sure it's available, and it's each individual's to responsibility to offer the hand of AA to other alcoholics, whether

35:29

[00 39:29.831 – 00:39:34.340] they've been newcomers or long-timers or visitors or anyone.

35:33

[00 39:34.340 – 00:39:35.940] Make people feel welcome.

35:35

[00 39:35.940 – 00:39:36.561] Thank you.

35:36

[00 39:36.561 – 00:39:43.880] So number, uh, number five, uh, would be Chilly Charlie from Chico.

35:41

[00 39:43.880 – 00:39:48.320] Thanks, Nancy.

35:42

[00 39:48.320 – 00:39:55.519] See, number five, do I do all I can do to support AA financially?

35:48

[00 39:55.519 – 00:39:58.541] Um, absolutely.

35:49

[00 39:58.541 – 00:39:59.880] Um, this...

35:50

[00 39:59.880 – 00:40:04.601] I remember years ago when they were, uh...

35:54

[00 40:04.601 – 00:40:10.480] I was in Indianapolis at the time, and, uh, the intergroup there, you know, was...

36:00

[00 40:10.480 – 00:40:17.541] And I think all over the country they were encouraging people to start putting $2 in the basket instead of one, right?

36:08

[00 40:17.541 – 00:40:21.740] And, uh, and now it should be more like five, I think.

36:13

[00 40:21.740 – 00:40:31.780] Uh, so, um, I, I give as generously as I can on a regular basis, um, knowing that every penny

36:21

[00 40:31.780 – 00:40:36.240] that I, I have, I make today is a result of Alcoholics Anonymous.

36:26

[00 40:36.240 – 00:40:36.601] You know?

36:27

[00 40:36.601 – 00:40:46.661] If, without AA, I wouldn't, you know, wouldn't, probably wouldn't be alive, let alone have a job and, and earn a paycheck and have all the

36:38

[00 40:46.661 – 00:40:48.081] things that I do today.

36:40

[00 40:48.081 – 00:40:50.601] So, um, yeah.

36:41

[00 40:50.601 – 00:40:56.980] And, um, I probably don't give enough though, um, to be honest.

36:46

[00 40:56.980 – 00:41:02.101] Uh, 'cause, uh, you know, I generally just give at the group level.

36:52

[00 41:12.460 – 00:41:16.541] is a, a secondary, um, part of Alcoholics Anonymous.

36:55

[00 41:16.541 – 00:41:20.380] And, and so I try to do my part there as well.

37:00

[00 41:20.380 – 00:41:23.820] Um, so I mean, we can always do more, right?

37:05

[00 41:23.820 – 00:41:27.630] And, uh, and so yeah.

37:07

[00 41:27.630 – 00:41:30.400] And- I think that answers that.

37:10

[00 41:30.400 – 00:41:31.681] Thank you, Charlie.

37:11

[00 41:31.681 – 00:41:41.920] And, and for me, in addition to giving today's equivalent of 1972's dollar that I put into a basket,

37:19

[00 41:41.920 – 00:41:51.480] I put an extra dollar in for my home group, and then my contributions go to GSO and the local central office birthday clubs.

37:28

[00 41:51.480 – 00:41:57.681] Uh, uh, I give to two of them because I'm right in the middle of San Joaquin and, and Sacramento.

37:36

[00 41:57.681 – 00:42:07.880] And I give another $10 a year, uh, just, just to help us make us se- self-reliant and, and not have to depend on literature

37:46

[00 42:07.880 – 00:42:08.300] sales.

37:46

[00 42:08.300 – 00:42:12.740] And we can set these up with the general service office for contributions.

37:52

[00 42:12.740 – 00:42:13.820] It's so easy.

37:53

[00 42:13.820 – 00:42:16.161] It's just automatically deducted.

37:55

[00 42:16.161 – 00:42:24.221] The only thing that we need to do once a year is the, the birthday club, um, that, uh, put that in.

38:04

[00 42:24.221 – 00:42:28.440] So, uh, and then, um- I'd like to add also, Nancy, if I could.

38:09

[00 42:28.440 – 00:42:28.471] Okay.

38:10

[00 42:28.471 – 00:42:34.860] It, it was once suggested to me that I should always put in the basket what, what m- my first drink would cost.

38:19

[00 42:34.860 – 00:42:36.460] Ah.

38:20

[00 42:36.460 – 00:42:40.101] Good point.

38:21

[00 42:40.101 – 00:42:48.891] And, uh, and a, a monthly subscription helps us to keep the AA Grapevine self-supporting, whether it be for myself or somebody else.

38:30

[00 42:48.891 – 00:42:56.020] And if I can't give financially, as not everybody can, I can give myself a service.

38:37

[00 42:56.020 – 00:42:57.311] So either way we're giving.

38:39

[00 42:57.311 – 00:42:58.300] So thank you.

38:40

[00 42:58.300 – 00:43:02.641] Okay, number six, that would be Jeff from North Dakota.

38:45

[00 43:02.641 – 00:43:04.340] Thanks again, Jeff.

38:46

[00 43:04.340 – 00:43:11.601] There, Jeff?

38:47

[00 43:11.601 – 00:43:14.911] Yeah.

38:48

[00 43:14.911 – 00:43:16.480] Oh, oh, so.

38:50

[00 43:16.480 – 00:43:17.141] There you are.

38:51

[00 43:17.141 – 00:43:21.181] There, unmuted.

38:52

[00 43:21.181 – 00:43:23.260] Jeff, alcoholic.

38:53

[00 43:23.260 – 00:43:23.630] Hi, Jeff.

38:54

[00 43:23.630 – 00:43:34.041] Should I keep AA, my AA membership a secret or reveal it in private conversations when that may help another alcoholic

39:03

[00 43:34.041 – 00:43:35.141] and therefore me?

39:04

[00 43:35.141 – 00:43:45.161] I, um, when I'm working with a newcomer that's

39:08

[00 43:45.161 – 00:43:51.561] just coming in, you know, we, I al- he already knows that I'm an AA member.

39:15

[00 43:51.561 – 00:44:01.581] But if I'm s- I'm out in public and I see somebody struggling with the addiction, I will sit down with that person and, and have him tell

39:26

[00 44:01.581 – 00:44:03.320] a little bit about how he's doing.

39:29

[00 44:03.320 – 00:44:13.661] And, uh, and I said, "I, I think I can help you, 'cause I, I belong to a fellowship

39:36

[00 44:13.661 – 00:44:23.811] that can help gain sobriety." And then I tell him a little bit about our program, but I usually tell him a lot about myself first

39:46

[00 44:23.811 – 00:44:30.181] so that he, I can identify that maybe I know what I'm talking about.

39:52

[00 44:30.181 – 00:44:40.201] Um, but, uh, I don't, uh, generally go out in public and ex- and, uh,

39:58

[00 44:40.201 – 00:44:50.221] tell everybody, "Hey, I'm in AA, and I'm doing well, and you should come and join me." Um, and I know a lot of people,

40:08

[00 44:50.221 – 00:44:57.860] when they come out of treatment, they get on that, uh, white pe- cloud high, and they wanna go out and help everybody, and I was that way.

40:19

[00 44:57.860 – 00:45:03.280] And, uh, luckily I had a sponsor who told me, "You know, this is...

40:25

[00 45:03.280 – 00:45:07.701] The high will not last, but, you know, this is not what we do.

40:30

[00 45:07.701 – 00:45:10.721] We don't go out and broadcast our program.

40:34

[00 45:10.721 – 00:45:20.670] We don't go out and broadcast sobriety." And I don't wanna be, uh, one of those people that, uh, early on in my sobriety would say, "I'm in AA and I'm sober-"

40:46

[00 45:20.786 – 00:45:22.246] every day and then I go out and drink.

40:50

[00 45:22.246 – 00:45:30.726] And like it was said in the s- in the presentation, you know, that's a ref- reflection on how AA is.

40:58

[00 45:30.726 – 00:45:40.986] Um, when I'm out in public, I try to s- be the examp- the best example of the big book that AA has just

41:08

[00 45:40.986 – 00:45:43.986] by my actions and by how I talk and work with people.

41:13

[00 45:43.986 – 00:45:52.686] You know, if I'm kind and caring and I'm helping people, I'm going out of my way, I think that shows a little bit about my character.

41:23

[00 45:52.686 – 00:46:00.466] And then later on if they find out, you know, that I have some sobriety, then they probably can put two and two together.

41:33

[00 46:00.466 – 00:46:05.425] But, uh, anonymity is important.

41:35

[00 46:05.425 – 00:46:09.885] You know, I, I don't, as far as keeping it a secret, you know, being...

41:41

[00 46:09.885 – 00:46:17.865] I, I, uh, I wanna in, within a fellowship, I'm not a secretive person, but outside of the fellowship I am.

41:50

[00 46:17.865 – 00:46:21.746] But I will explain things if people wanna ask.

41:53

[00 46:21.746 – 00:46:24.695] That's all I got.

41:55

[00 46:24.695 – 00:46:24.865] Yeah.

41:56

[00 46:24.865 – 00:46:25.966] Thank you, Jeff.

41:58

[00 46:25.966 – 00:46:27.186] Th- thanks again.

41:59

[00 46:27.186 – 00:46:29.006] You're always a good participant.

42:01

[00 46:29.006 – 00:46:33.606] And I, I, I disclose my own membership if there's a real need.

42:07

[00 46:33.606 – 00:46:36.266] I, I don't have to broadcast it to everybody.

42:10

[00 46:36.266 – 00:46:40.166] But it's up to the individual how anonymous they wanna be.

42:15

[00 46:40.166 – 00:46:44.526] But I just have to be careful that it's not at the level of press, radio, and films.

42:22

[00 46:44.526 – 00:46:46.586] So, okay.

42:23

[00 46:46.586 – 00:46:51.286] Next, next one, we have Marty from New York.

42:27

[00 46:51.286 – 00:46:51.925] Go, Marty.

42:28

[00 46:51.925 – 00:47:02.385] Marty?

42:29

[00 47:02.385 – 00:47:09.226] Marty still with us?

42:31

[00 47:09.226 – 00:47:13.126] Marty, you should be able to unmute.

42:34

[00 47:13.126 – 00:47:16.905] Thought I unmuted.

42:35

[00 47:16.905 – 00:47:17.506] I'm sorry.

42:37

[00 47:17.506 – 00:47:17.916] Yeah.

42:37

[00 47:17.916 – 00:47:19.526] I was saying that everyone, uh...

42:40

[00 47:19.526 – 00:47:25.365] this checklist, you can go to aa.org and ha- get this, uh, 12 tradition checklist.

42:46

[00 47:25.365 – 00:47:28.744] Wonderful job everyone who shared before me.

42:49

[00 47:28.744 – 00:47:33.686] And financially, I couldn't scratch two nickels together, you know, when I came in, you know?

42:56

[00 47:33.686 – 00:47:38.106] And, uh, but the shame, I still went to Dying Is.

43:00

[00 47:38.106 – 00:47:41.706] You know, people said, uh, "You'll pass it forward." You know, it was a lot of shame.

43:07

[00 47:41.706 – 00:47:44.006] Uh, couldn't pay rent to my parents.

43:10

[00 47:44.006 – 00:47:47.445] I could do the dishes, but, uh, you know, barely, uh...

43:14

[00 47:47.445 – 00:47:48.566] Unbelievable.

43:15

[00 47:48.566 – 00:47:53.956] To get to that place at 28 years old, uh, sort of like homeless without being homeless.

43:22

[00 47:53.956 – 00:47:54.755] Bankrupt, you know?

43:23

[00 47:54.755 – 00:48:04.785] And, uh, so financially, my first, uh, you know, there was a birthday fund, and they said, you know, uh, for general service office,

43:33

[00 48:04.786 – 00:48:08.175] you know, w- we're always, uh, non-organized.

43:36

[00 48:08.175 – 00:48:12.706] We're an unorganized fellows, you know, organization, but we need money to run it.

43:41

[00 48:12.706 – 00:48:13.966] I saw it at the group.

43:44

[00 48:13.966 – 00:48:24.026] But then there was, in the, uh, contribution, there was a card that said birthday fund, and my sponsor at that time, I could give what I could give, you know, for my

43:57

[00 48:24.026 – 00:48:27.365] first year, and I did that for quite a while, you know?

44:02

[00 48:27.365 – 00:48:32.686] And finances, I learned to have prudent reserve in my own, uh, you know, what a group did.

44:09

[00 48:32.686 – 00:48:42.925] I started to try and put some money together and, and build a checkbook and be so grateful, you know, the alcoholic and, uh, and not let this money, property, prestige

44:21

[00 48:42.925 – 00:48:44.806] divert me from my primary purpose.

44:24

[00 48:44.806 – 00:48:47.006] Uh, money was always attached.

44:26

[00 48:47.006 – 00:48:51.535] Uh, it, you know, the love of money is what causes anxious pangs, you know?

44:32

[00 48:51.535 – 00:49:01.726] So, uh, it wasn't like I gave it all away because I, I, if I had money, m- you know, the obsession to drink was removed, but I just learned the value

44:45

[00 49:01.726 – 00:49:05.286] and, you know, uh, to give freely, you know?

44:48

[00 49:05.286 – 00:49:12.486] Uh, not the, not the tradition play where money bags comes in and, you know, uh, shows how much money you know?

44:57

[00 49:12.486 – 00:49:15.506] And, uh, yeah, y- you know, that's a...

45:01

[00 49:15.506 – 00:49:23.306] And then there's the recurring thing that I could do now with the general service office that comes right out of my, my, my wife knows about.

45:11

[00 49:23.306 – 00:49:24.746] She's not a member.

45:13

[00 49:24.746 – 00:49:34.766] And, uh, that was one thing when I, I got married, is I waited a couple of weeks before I got married, tell my wife, "I'm married to AA," and, uh, you know, "I'll, I'll, I'll be a good, uh,

45:29

[00 49:34.766 – 00:49:38.985] husband and a father, but I, I have to go to meetings," and I'm involved.

45:35

[00 49:38.985 – 00:49:39.945] I was doing service.

45:37

[00 49:39.945 – 00:49:42.806] So, uh, it's our money now, you know?

45:40

[00 49:42.806 – 00:49:43.865] It's not my money.

45:42

[00 49:43.865 – 00:49:53.905] And, uh, the other thing about the Grapevine, I have a little more to say about that, is in the rehab I read the first Grapevine was from 1985, and

45:53

[00 49:53.905 – 00:49:57.996] it was the Montreal, uh, you know, uh, International.

45:57

[00 49:57.996 – 00:50:02.646] And I said, "Wow, 60,000 people." And I fell in love with the Grapevine.

46:02

[00 50:02.646 – 00:50:06.586] So I was given Grapevines 'cause people heard me say I was in love with it.

46:09

[00 50:06.586 – 00:50:08.126] They gave me a subscription.

46:11

[00 50:08.126 – 00:50:12.885] And, uh, I've always, uh, had a subscription to the, uh, the Grapevine.

46:16

[00 50:12.885 – 00:50:14.306] And I just came up with an idea when my...

46:21

[00 50:14.306 – 00:50:24.445] I'm the archivist for Area 49, and I was talking first to myself, and then I talked to my sponsor, is that we can look for photos

46:31

[00 50:24.445 – 00:50:26.346] of groups in our area.

46:33

[00 50:26.346 – 00:50:35.026] So, you know, uh, my sponsor said, "Why don't you intro- you know, bring it up to the, to the, to the county archives?" We have a county level in our area.

46:46

[00 50:35.026 – 00:50:45.066] And he said, "Why don't you ask them for their counties to maybe, uh, look inside the Grapevine and look for their, uh, meetings that are in the photo part of the Grapevine, and

46:59

[00 50:45.066 – 00:50:51.206] possibly, uh, you know, uh..." So instead of me doing it, me, me, me, you know, I always say.

47:06

[00 50:51.206 – 00:50:57.326] So, uh, and the Grapevine is fully, uh, doesn't get any money from the basket money at all.

47:14

[00 50:57.326 – 00:51:07.826] And the second, the last thing I wanna say about the Grapevine is the one committee we don't have in our county, so I noticed, you know, we didn't have someone stepping up, so I, I asked the, uh, our DCM,

47:30

[00 51:07.826 – 00:51:14.865] DCMC if I could make a pre- a presentation about the Grapevine and, uh, let people know about that.

47:37

[00 51:14.865 – 00:51:20.546] So, and someone stepped up to, uh, be the Grapevine chair, and, uh, now we're gonna do a writing workshop.

47:45

[00 51:20.546 – 00:51:26.106] We haven't done one of those in our county for a while, so, you know, to keep letting people know about the Grapevine.

47:54

[00 51:26.106 – 00:51:36.286] And, and I did run into someone in a Manhattan, uh, share day, and they were saying that they were thinking of putting an agenda together in the, uh, spirituality and money mix, something

48:07

[00 51:36.286 – 00:51:37.865] about, uh, the Grapevine.

48:09

[00 51:37.865 – 00:51:45.246] And I said, "I don't know about that myself," because people get confused that the money in the basket will go to the Grapevine.

48:19

[00 51:45.246 – 00:51:47.706] He said they could m- maybe put some kind of asterisk.

48:23

[00 51:47.706 – 00:51:57.566] So I don't know about that, but that was an interesting, uh, conversation about trying to generate something in the spirituality and money mix about the Grapevine.

48:34

[00 51:57.566 – 00:52:04.346] I, I know it's hard, and there was a, a letter that was sent out by Chris, you know, about that, you know, that, uh, um...

48:44

[00 52:04.346 – 00:52:11.066] I hope they're doing that before they're in, in trouble, and they're just trying to let us know to talk about the Grapevine, you know.

48:54

[00 52:11.066 – 00:52:13.826] And there's also my group s- has five Grapevines.

48:58

[00 52:13.826 – 00:52:17.786] Uh, we also do the gift one that we don't know where it's going.

49:04

[00 52:17.786 – 00:52:18.666] You know, that's important.

49:05

[00 52:18.666 – 00:52:28.666] You could just contribute, uh, one subscription to as many as the group wants to in our pie chart, and it goes to someone who's seeking, who needs a scholarship for the

49:18

[00 52:28.666 – 00:52:29.106] Grapevine.

49:19

[00 52:29.106 – 00:52:30.286] They have a whole list of people.

49:22

[00 52:30.286 – 00:52:33.346] So, uh, thank you very much, and nice job.

49:26

[00 52:33.346 – 00:52:34.916] Listen to the next, uh, bunch of people.

49:29

[00 52:34.916 – 00:52:35.706] Thank you, Marty.

49:30

[00 52:35.706 – 00:52:37.186] Did you answer number seven?

49:33

[00 52:37.186 – 00:52:41.426] You're, you're muted, Marty.

49:35

[00 52:41.426 – 00:52:42.806] Could you unmute again?

49:37

[00 52:42.806 – 00:52:48.546] Can you unmute?

49:38

[00 52:48.546 – 00:52:52.945] Marty, come back.

49:40

[00 52:57.715 – 00:52:58.755] I'm still not unmuting.

49:41

[00 52:58.755 – 00:52:59.345] Okay.

49:42

[00 52:59.345 – 00:53:02.775] I did, I did the one that was in the sheet, Ca- uh, Nancy, forgive me.

49:49

[00 53:02.775 – 00:53:03.554] Um You know?

49:50

[00 53:03.554 – 00:53:04.775] Nu- number seven?

49:52

[00 53:04.775 – 00:53:05.055] Okay.

49:52

[00 53:05.055 – 00:53:06.565] What, what's so attra- attractive about the- Yeah.

49:56

[00 53:06.565 – 00:53:14.845] Yeah, I don't wanna hold up the meeting, but maybe I, I thought I answered it because in, in the AI, AA gra- uh, group, uh, you know, this...

50:07

[00 53:14.845 – 00:53:15.685] I'm nervous now.

50:09

[00 53:15.685 – 00:53:20.655] You know, okay, what is so attractive about my brand of AA that other drunks might want it?

50:16

[00 53:20.655 – 00:53:24.795] I thought I said a lot about that, that I'm a, a attraction rather than promotion.

50:22

[00 53:24.795 – 00:53:25.164] Okay.

50:23

[00 53:25.164 – 00:53:28.535] And let people, you know, uh, educate them about Alcoholics Anonymous.

50:28

[00 53:28.535 – 00:53:29.795] It's more than just going to meetings.

50:31

[00 53:29.795 – 00:53:30.105] Okay.

50:31

[00 53:30.105 – 00:53:30.894] Thank you for letting me share.

50:34

[00 53:30.894 – 00:53:31.715] Thank you, Marty.

50:36

[00 53:31.715 – 00:53:32.155] Thank you.

50:37

[00 53:32.155 – 00:53:33.894] Gave us a lot of good information.

50:40

[00 53:33.894 – 00:53:43.914] And, and I want to also say on the grapevine, um, or not, uh, or on contributions, uh, rather than send a check in, it costs money

50:50

[00 53:43.914 – 00:53:45.135] to process a check.

50:52

[00 53:45.135 – 00:53:47.414] It's a lot better to use a credit card.

50:56

[00 53:47.414 – 00:53:48.514] Thank you.

50:57

[00 53:48.514 – 00:53:56.735] So, yeah, I just try to be a good example of the program through my dress, my behavior, and my words, and my, my actions.

51:07

[00 53:56.735 – 00:53:57.264] Yeah.

51:08

[00 53:57.264 – 00:53:59.075] Gotta be- watch that.

51:10

[00 53:59.075 – 00:54:00.095] Okay.

51:11

[00 54:00.095 – 00:54:06.335] So, uh, Deborah from Modesto.

51:13

[00 54:06.335 – 00:54:12.235] Number, uh, let's see, number eight, please.

51:16

[00 54:12.235 – 00:54:13.195] Number eight.

51:17

[00 54:13.195 – 00:54:13.755] Okay.

51:18

[00 54:13.755 – 00:54:16.715] Uh, let's see here.

51:20

[00 54:16.715 – 00:54:18.175] Can I get...

51:21

[00 54:18.175 – 00:54:19.185] Well, hmm.

51:22

[00 54:19.185 – 00:54:21.135] Okay.

51:23

[00 54:21.135 – 00:54:23.675] What does anonymity mean to me?

51:26

[00 54:23.675 – 00:54:31.515] Well, well, what did we learn tonight?

51:29

[00 54:31.515 – 00:54:33.195] That anonymity...

51:30

[00 54:33.195 – 00:54:38.195] I, I've always looked at it as nameless, faceless.

51:34

[00 54:38.195 – 00:54:48.515] Um, but I'm kind of lost because it said anonymi-na- anonymity tonight

51:39

[00 54:48.515 – 00:54:49.235] was what?

51:40

[00 54:49.235 – 00:54:52.894] I've, um- Humility.

51:41

[00 54:52.894 – 00:54:53.875] Humility?

51:42

[00 54:53.875 – 00:54:54.414] Yeah.

51:43

[00 54:54.414 – 00:54:58.315] Anonymity is humility.

51:44

[00 54:58.315 – 00:54:59.035] Hmm.

51:45

[00 54:59.035 – 00:55:00.414] Yeah.

51:46

[00 55:00.414 – 00:55:10.635] Well, it just go- follows along all that line of, of, uh, 'cause I remember when I was brand

51:53

[00 55:10.635 – 00:55:14.175] new, and that is exactly what I did.

51:57

[00 55:14.175 – 00:55:24.735] Um, I just ran around touting everything about it, and I lasted 10 years, but, you know, at some point I said to myself, "I

52:06

[00 55:24.735 – 00:55:26.555] don't need this anymore.

52:08

[00 55:26.555 – 00:55:30.034] I'm fine." Oh, yeah.

52:10

[00 55:30.034 – 00:55:30.535] Ugh.

52:11

[00 55:30.535 – 00:55:37.875] That took me eight years to get back, and thank God that I did, and that I'm not in prison, and I have all my fingers and toes.

52:22

[00 55:37.875 – 00:55:42.155] And so, um, you know...

52:24

[00 55:42.155 – 00:55:46.135] I don't know.

52:26

[00 55:46.135 – 00:55:47.455] That's really a tough one.

52:28

[00 55:47.455 – 00:55:58.095] I had answers for all the other ones, and I was thinking, "Well, shoot, what does anonymity mean to me?" That I, uh, I darn

52:38

[00 55:58.095 – 00:56:01.055] sure protect, you know, uh, I...

52:40

[00 56:01.055 – 00:56:11.055] For me, I've learned that we're not anonymous to each other, but we are out there in

52:47

[00 56:11.055 – 00:56:11.715] the public.

52:48

[00 56:11.715 – 00:56:15.955] We don't run around touting, "I'm an alcoholic.

52:52

[00 56:15.955 – 00:56:26.275] I'm in recovery." But we look for those ways to, um, share what we can, uh, when we

52:59

[00 56:26.275 – 00:56:32.955] hear, listen carefully and hear when someone is in distress or a family member is in distress.

53:06

[00 56:32.955 – 00:56:34.695] So I don't know.

53:08

[00 56:34.695 – 00:56:36.055] That's about all I got.

53:10

[00 56:36.055 – 00:56:37.095] Thank you.

53:11

[00 56:37.095 – 00:56:37.965] Thank you, Deborah.

53:13

[00 56:37.965 – 00:56:40.595] I'd, I'd like to introduce my sponsee here.

53:16

[00 56:40.595 – 00:56:42.414] She just came up on a year.

53:19

[00 56:42.414 – 00:56:42.685] Yes.

53:20

[00 56:42.685 – 00:56:43.795] Her name is Kristen.

53:22

[00 56:43.795 – 00:56:45.215] Hi.

53:22

[00 56:45.215 – 00:56:46.115] I'm an alcoholic.

53:24

[00 56:46.115 – 00:56:47.835] Welcome.

53:25

[00 56:47.835 – 00:56:49.675] Through the step- Is this your first time here?

53:28

[00 56:49.675 – 00:56:51.355] Yes.

53:29

[00 56:51.355 – 00:56:52.555] Oh, wonderful.

53:30

[00 56:52.555 – 00:56:53.105] Yes.

53:31

[00 56:53.105 – 00:56:54.115] Fantastic.

53:32

[00 56:54.115 – 00:56:58.035] Well, I have 18 months, and she has, she just got one year.

53:37

[00 56:58.035 – 00:56:59.195] Perfect.

53:38

[00 56:59.195 – 00:57:02.535] And, uh, Leslie's my sponsor, and Debbie Davis- Oh ...

53:41

[00 57:02.535 – 00:57:08.765] is my grand sponsor, and Marilyn's my great grand sponsor, so I'm really excited to just- Good ...

53:48

[00 57:08.765 – 00:57:10.274] dive into this.

53:50

[00 57:10.274 – 00:57:12.694] So you would be my niece and my grand niece.

53:54

[00 57:12.694 – 00:57:13.774] That's right.

53:55

[00 57:13.774 – 00:57:15.055] I figured that.

53:57

[00 57:15.055 – 00:57:16.194] I heard it in your...

53:59

[00 57:16.194 – 00:57:18.265] I heard it in the words.

54:01

[00 57:18.265 – 00:57:21.045] I heard it in the words.

54:04

[00 57:21.045 – 00:57:27.095] Uh, yeah, I don't share my membership in Alcoholics Anonymous at the level of press, radio, and films.

54:11

[00 57:27.095 – 00:57:27.925] However- Yeah ...

54:12

[00 57:27.925 – 00:57:30.414] I'm not anonymous at the meeting level.

54:15

[00 57:30.414 – 00:57:32.155] I, I give my last name.

54:18

[00 57:32.155 – 00:57:33.835] There are a lot of Nancys out there.

54:22

[00 57:33.835 – 00:57:43.954] And, uh, I, um, also keep confidences of those who share with me, and I try to give selflessly,

54:29

[00 57:43.954 – 00:57:49.615] but, uh, I'm not always that successful, so I gotta, gotta watch it.

54:34

[00 57:49.615 – 00:57:51.835] Let, don't let my ego get out there too much.

54:39

[00 57:51.835 – 00:57:53.435] Okay.

54:39

[00 57:53.435 – 00:57:55.555] Num- uh, thank you, Deborah.

54:42

[00 57:55.555 – 00:58:00.015] Terry from New York City.

54:44

[00 58:00.015 – 00:58:08.555] Thank you, uh, Nancy.

54:46

[00 58:08.555 – 00:58:18.555] In the light of increased awareness of alcoholism and AA's program of recovery among the general public, what is the principle of anonymi- why-- what is the

54:56

[00 58:18.555 – 00:58:21.935] principle of anonymity still important?

54:59

[00 58:21.935 – 00:58:26.215] I think as individuals, uh, we always wanna talk about the program.

55:04

[00 58:26.215 – 00:58:30.715] We do it through our different committees in Alcoholics Anonymous, whether it be PI or CPC.

55:10

[00 58:30.715 – 00:58:35.975] We always talk about the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous itself.

55:15

[00 58:35.975 – 00:58:40.414] We never kind of promote individuals in that aspect.

55:19

[00 58:40.414 – 00:58:48.795] And in this day and age of so many other things going on, you know, different platforms, this isn't, you know, certainly 1970 anymore or that.

55:29

[00 58:48.795 – 00:58:50.835] There's so many different platforms.

55:31

[00 58:50.835 – 00:58:51.815] It's easy to get it.

55:34

[00 58:51.815 – 00:58:53.155] Everybody's got programs.

55:35

[00 58:53.155 – 00:58:54.675] You could turn on these commercials.

55:38

[00 58:54.675 – 00:58:57.895] You see rehabs and everything else that goes on.

55:41

[00 58:57.895 – 00:59:07.235] But the reality in this is that among the general public is the principle of anonymity, because we wanna let people know, you come to AA, you can tell them your name if you want to.

55:56

[00 59:07.235 – 00:59:08.775] You don't have to tell them your name.

55:59

[00 59:08.775 – 00:59:11.275] If you wanna come to a meeting and just sit there and not...

56:04

[00 59:11.275 – 00:59:14.355] that's all you wanna do, it's really, it's okay.

56:08

[00 59:14.355 – 00:59:15.655] It really doesn't matter.

56:10

[00 59:15.655 – 00:59:25.355] If we get into the room, you sit there, you can hear somebody share their experience, strength, and hope, how they're not picking up a drink a day at a time, and how they're living their life, and you can take it.

56:26

[00 59:25.355 – 00:59:28.655] You know, I, I mean, I don't wanna use the word you could take whatever, you lea- leave the rest.

56:34

[00 59:28.655 – 00:59:31.635] But the reality of Alcoholics Anonymous, we're very generous.

56:38

[00 59:31.635 – 00:59:33.975] 'Cause when I came to AA, I didn't wanna know anything.

56:43

[00 59:33.975 – 00:59:35.995] I just wanted to be left alone.

56:46

[00 59:35.995 – 00:59:38.274] When I came to AA, people come over, shake my hand.

56:50

[00 59:38.274 – 00:59:47.655] Nobody beat me up and told me, "You gotta do this, this, and this." They gave me a lot of leeway, but they talked about that and the importance of coming to the meeting and being part of it.

57:05

[00 59:47.655 – 00:59:49.235] Anonymity is all about that.

57:08

[00 59:49.235 – 00:59:52.375] When I came to AA, nobody told me what they did for a living.

57:13

[00 59:52.375 – 00:59:55.954] I didn't care if they had money, if they were married, if they weren't married.

57:19

[00 59:55.954 – 00:59:57.115] None of that stuff really mattered.

57:22

[00 59:57.115 – 01:00:03.335] The only thing it mattered, what we were doing in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I could be as anonymous as I wanna be.

57:32

[01 00:03.335 – 01:00:06.914] If I don't wanna tell anybody I'm in AA, that's my prerogative.

57:37

[01 00:06.914 – 01:00:09.065] If I wanna tell family members, that's fine.

57:40

[01 00:09.065 – 01:00:11.935] If I choose not to tell family members, that's fine.

57:44

[01 00:11.935 – 01:00:17.985] I think anonymity is such an important, uh, certainly in the general public, certainly in these, all these different things.

57:52

[01 00:17.985 – 01:00:27.465] We have so much stuff going on with the rehabs and social medias and different platforms, and everybody wants to be sort of a, a star, and the reality is that

58:04

[01 00:27.700 – 01:00:29.360] Highest you can get in AA is sober.

58:08

[01 00:29.360 – 01:00:34.099] You know, we don't have degrees of, uh, you know, the most superstar in AA.

58:14

[01 00:34.099 – 01:00:36.940] We're all just sober members of AA trying to live a sober life.

58:19

[01 00:36.940 – 01:00:43.440] But I think a- anonymity's such an incredible thing, the principle, 'cause it is about sacrifice.

58:26

[01 00:43.440 – 01:00:48.510] It's about giving up my ego and my life and my prestige for the good of Alcoholics Anonymous.

58:33

[01 00:48.510 – 01:00:58.580] If I really believe from the bottom of my heart that AA saved my life, I have a responsibility to give it back what was so freely given to me in the same way it was given to me.

58:48

[01 00:58.580 – 01:01:08.640] So I think it's really important this day and age with all these platforms and rehabs and people coming out and people doing all 12 steps in the first four hours in the

59:00

[01 01:08.640 – 01:01:09.810] program- ...

59:01

[01 01:09.810 – 01:01:19.720] to come to AA, just put these principles in our life, go through the process, and let people know it's okay to be who you are, but here's what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous to stay sober.

59:16

[01 01:19.720 – 01:01:21.260] Here's what the program of AA.

59:18

[01 01:21.260 – 01:01:22.760] So it's good to be alive.

59:21

[01 01:22.760 – 01:01:23.420] It's good to be sober.

59:23

[01 01:23.420 – 01:01:24.740] Nice, nice job, Nancy.

59:25

[01 01:24.740 – 01:01:26.040] I always love listening to you.

59:28

[01 01:26.040 – 01:01:27.040] Thank you, Terry.

59:29

[01 01:27.040 – 01:01:29.560] You guys are just amazing, all of you.

59:33

[01 01:29.560 – 01:01:36.120] And, um, would other alcoholics feel safe if they felt like their name was gonna be publicized?

59:39

[01 01:36.120 – 01:01:42.720] Oh, uh, so selfishness, self-centeredness that we think is the root of our problem.

59:45

[01 01:42.720 – 01:01:47.540] So this is why you have to, again, focus on principles, not on self.

59:51

[01 01:47.540 – 01:01:50.240] Get me out of the, out of the picture.

59:55

[01 01:50.240 – 01:01:56.700] Okay, now we have Karen from San Francisco.

59:58

[01 01:56.700 – 01:01:59.640] Welcome, Karen.

59:59

[01 01:59.640 – 01:02:01.760] Hi.

60:00

[01 02:01.760 – 01:02:04.320] Uh, my name is Karen, and I'm an alcoholic.

60:04

[01 02:04.320 – 01:02:12.500] I haven't seen these questions in, in quite a number of years, so, um, I'll have to give you my humble opinion from my experience.

60:14

[01 02:12.500 – 01:02:22.650] Uh, checklist question number 10, am I mindful to respect the anonymity, anonymity of other AA members who may work in my place of employment or my

60:24

[01 02:22.650 – 01:02:23.260] industry?

60:25

[01 02:23.260 – 01:02:27.060] How about AA members who live in my area or neighborhood?

60:29

[01 02:27.060 – 01:02:37.120] I would like to think I am very mindful, and, um, when I was in the, the workforce, I knew there were other members of

60:39

[01 02:37.120 – 01:02:43.520] Alcoholics, uh, Anonymous that, um, uh, I was working with.

60:43

[01 02:43.520 – 01:02:51.580] And, uh, it was just sort of a common agreement that, um, we didn't talk about AA in our place of employment.

60:52

[01 02:51.580 – 01:02:59.200] We talked about AA, um, in, in private or, or at meetings or at social gatherings of, of other AA members.

61:00

[01 02:59.200 – 01:02:59.680] It...

61:01

[01 02:59.680 – 01:03:06.920] The, the being a member of AA wasn't a part of my job description, and so it wasn't necessary to discuss that.

61:10

[01 03:06.920 – 01:03:11.620] And the same about AA members who live in my area or, or neighborhood.

61:15

[01 03:11.620 – 01:03:21.760] And, um, uh, one of the things that, that I learned, uh, early on was when I would see somebody, like, shopping, and I would be with somebody who wasn't in

61:28

[01 03:21.760 – 01:03:29.040] AA, and we would, um, I would see another AA member and, um, say hello and introduce them to my friend.

61:36

[01 03:29.040 – 01:03:34.880] And my friend would say, "How do you know each other?" And I would always, "We're in the same book club." Okay.

61:45

[01 03:34.880 – 01:03:41.700] And that, that sufficed a, a lot, especially if the friend wasn't real close to me, you know, didn't know that much about my private life.

61:55

[01 03:41.700 – 01:03:49.760] But, but the same respect and, and anonymity that, that I expect, I need to give to other members, too.

62:03

[01 03:49.760 – 01:04:01.040] And I think one of the great things of our program, especially in listening to, to, to this particular meeting, is if I have the right to

62:13

[01 04:01.040 – 01:04:11.160] be a, uh, anonymous in AA meetings, so does everybody else, and that includes the newcomer who may be so intimidated and so unknowing

62:23

[01 04:11.160 – 01:04:16.740] and so leery of everything that they also have the right to be anonymous, and they know that.

62:30

[01 04:16.740 – 01:04:22.360] And I think that's such a gift to be able to give people, you know, new to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

62:39

[01 04:22.360 – 01:04:23.880] I, I think that's it for me.

62:42

[01 04:23.880 – 01:04:24.699] Thank you, Nancy.

62:43

[01 04:24.699 – 01:04:25.820] Excellent.

62:44

[01 04:25.820 – 01:04:26.780] Thank you, Karen.

62:46

[01 04:26.780 – 01:04:30.180] Yeah, I can break my anonymity, but not that of other members.

62:51

[01 04:30.180 – 01:04:38.060] And everyone in my AA or in my community, my home community, needs to feel safe about their anonymity.

62:58

[01 04:38.060 – 01:04:43.800] I have neighbors down my street who are in the program, but I don't go around announcing that to my other neighbors.

63:07

[01 04:43.800 – 01:04:45.840] Okay.

63:08

[01 04:45.840 – 01:04:52.460] Um, number 11, Jeanette, please, from Sacramento.

63:10

[01 04:52.460 – 01:04:59.940] Okay, I'm on, I'm unmuted.

63:12

[01 04:59.940 – 01:05:02.600] Let me, let me show you my smiley face.

63:16

[01 05:02.600 – 01:05:05.240] Hi, Nancy.

63:17

[01 05:05.240 – 01:05:06.219] Hi, everyone.

63:19

[01 05:06.219 – 01:05:06.820] I'm Jeanette.

63:20

[01 05:06.820 – 01:05:07.720] I'm alcoholic.

63:21

[01 05:07.720 – 01:05:08.770] Jeanette.

63:22

[01 05:08.770 – 01:05:13.580] This is, um, an amazing...

63:24

[01 05:13.580 – 01:05:18.380] This is the first time I've been on here, so thank you all very much for your service and being here.

63:32

[01 05:18.380 – 01:05:23.380] Uh, 11, what does principles before personality mean to me?

63:36

[01 05:23.380 – 01:05:33.380] Well, over the years, it's taken on different meanings for me, uh, as I've grown and developed in my recovery,

63:44

[01 05:33.380 – 01:05:42.530] but, uh, especially at business meetings, to be civil, to be nice, uh, to respect people.

63:50

[01 05:42.530 – 01:05:43.580] You know?

63:52

[01 05:43.580 – 01:05:51.860] Like, I don't have to agree with someone, um, but I, I do treat them respectfully.

63:58

[01 05:51.860 – 01:05:55.900] I treat them with courtesy and, uh...

64:01

[01 05:55.900 – 01:06:05.620] We've had times where we've had some disagreements, and then, you know, I'd have to go home and write about it, and usually an amends what's necessary.

64:12

[01 06:05.620 – 01:06:08.340] But that's how I've learned in this program.

64:15

[01 06:08.340 – 01:06:12.960] I, when I was new, I used to break the traditions.

64:20

[01 06:12.960 – 01:06:15.560] I put my first and last name on something.

64:23

[01 06:15.560 – 01:06:22.680] I was working at a college and made a flyer for an AA meeting on campus, and I was so proud of it.

64:32

[01 06:22.680 – 01:06:32.740] And I showed it to my sponsor, and she said, "You will go collect all those flyers, and you will not blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because if you're having a bad

64:45

[01 06:32.740 – 01:06:42.860] day and you're acting out, those people on campus are gonna know that you're a member of Alcoholics Anonymous." So sometimes it's by

64:54

[01 06:42.860 – 01:06:49.500] breaking or not living up to the principle that I, I learn and grow the most.

65:01

[01 06:49.500 – 01:06:54.660] So thank God, and I heard it said earlier, that we are, we're compassionate people.

65:07

[01 06:54.660 – 01:06:59.880] We're very passionate about things, and I've learned sometimes the hard way.

65:11

[01 06:59.880 – 01:07:10.280] But boy, those are the best lessons I've learned, too, is because I've l- I have so much respect and so much love for this thing, AA,

65:22

[01 07:10.280 – 01:07:12.780] that has absolutely saved my life.

65:25

[01 07:12.780 – 01:07:13.660] Thank you.

65:26

[01 07:13.660 – 01:07:15.200] Thank you, Jeanette.

65:27

[01 07:15.200 – 01:07:20.500] So yeah, we, we have no gurus or celebrities in AA.

65:32

[01 07:20.500 – 01:07:24.480] We listen to the message, not the messages.

65:35

[01 07:24.480 – 01:07:26.300] Uh, not the m- not the messenger.

65:38

[01 07:26.300 – 01:07:27.510] Sorry, get that straight.

65:40

[01 07:27.510 – 01:07:29.840] Listen to the message, not the messenger.

65:43

[01 07:29.840 – 01:07:32.740] Um, we're all here for the same thing.

65:47

[01 07:32.740 – 01:07:34.180] So, yeah, thank you.

65:49

[01 07:34.180 – 01:07:35.760] Yeah, um, and welcome.

65:51

[01 07:35.760 – 01:07:37.260] I'm really glad you're here.

65:53

[01 07:37.260 – 01:07:44.080] Uh, uh, yeah, we've got, uh, uh, Charlie, Deborah, and Jeanette.

65:57

[01 07:44.080 – 01:07:48.100] You're all in my, uh, i- in area 07.

66:01

[01 07:48.100 – 01:07:52.200] I hope to see you at our assembly in Tracy next week.

66:06

[01 07:52.200 – 01:07:53.100] Yay.

66:06

[01 07:53.100 – 01:07:55.020] Get to meet you in person.

66:09

[01 07:55.020 – 01:08:00.900] Okay, uh, next one, number 12, we have John K

66:13

[01 08:01.505 – 01:08:07.015] From Florida Hey.

66:14

[01 08:07.015 – 01:08:09.045] My name's John, I'm an alcoholic.

66:17

[01 08:09.045 – 01:08:09.965] Hi, John.

66:18

[01 08:09.965 – 01:08:16.985] And, um, number 12, do I ever take credit for my own or someone else's sobriety?

66:24

[01 08:16.985 – 01:08:21.945] Uh, where would, where would be the humility in this?

66:28

[01 08:21.945 – 01:08:32.285] Well, that's interesting 'cause, uh, whenever we talk about humility and, uh, anonymity, I, I think of, uh, you know, my first group there was a guy named Joey D who was the spiritual

66:42

[01 08:32.285 – 01:08:33.965] guru of the whole group.

66:44

[01 08:33.965 – 01:08:35.825] And then I was trying to think.

66:47

[01 08:35.825 – 01:08:45.845] To this day, I don't know his last name, but, uh, uh, th- this guy's story was, you know, he, he had been a truck hijacker at one time, but he got sober and, uh, got

67:01

[01 08:45.845 – 01:08:46.645] a different job.

67:03

[01 08:46.645 – 01:08:48.545] He, he's an off-Broadway actor.

67:05

[01 08:48.545 – 01:08:54.305] He remarried his wife with double ceremony with one of his sponsees, and, and he did all sorts of volunteer work.

67:13

[01 08:54.305 – 01:08:57.245] And he, and he always said, he says, "That's not my glory.

67:18

[01 08:57.245 – 01:09:00.165] That's God's glory." And he never took credit for it.

67:22

[01 09:00.165 – 01:09:06.105] And, you know, it was the example of guys like that that, uh, that I tried to, you know, understand what was going on.

67:32

[01 09:06.105 – 01:09:16.465] Another guy one time said, you know, "For an anonymous program, sure have a lot of bumper stickers." And, uh, I remember one time I w- I was waiting at a light, uh, going home one night,

67:46

[01 09:16.465 – 01:09:17.685] and, and, and it was at a light.

67:50

[01 09:17.685 – 01:09:19.965] The, the road had widened from the intersection.

67:53

[01 09:19.965 – 01:09:30.085] And I see this guy come roaring up on the side of me, and he passes me just as the light changes, and on the back of his, his, his, his bumper it says, "Easy does it." So

68:08

[01 09:30.085 – 01:09:34.485] I, I learned that like if, if you have a bumper sticker, you know, drive careful.

68:14

[01 09:34.485 – 01:09:37.525] Uh, what was the other thing I had here?

68:18

[01 09:37.525 – 01:09:43.005] Oh, yeah, and I'm, I'm old enough to remember when Lillian Roth went on TV in, uh, May...

68:25

[01 09:43.005 – 01:09:50.905] It was February 1953, and, uh, broke her anonymity, and, uh, and she wrote the book, and then I finally got the book 70 years later.

68:35

[01 09:50.905 – 01:09:52.665] And then very interesting.

68:37

[01 09:52.665 – 01:09:56.445] But, um, yeah, and, and when I came in, I asked whatever happened to her.

68:43

[01 09:56.445 – 01:09:57.505] And oh, she drank again.

68:45

[01 09:57.505 – 01:09:59.405] Just wrote her out of our history, you know?

68:49

[01 09:59.405 – 01:10:03.385] But, uh, but the people down in Australia and New Zealand, she spread the word down there.

68:55

[01 10:03.385 – 01:10:13.685] And in the closing scene of the, uh, of the movie, uh, Cry Tomorrow, she's on her way down, uh, the aisle to s- to get up on the stage of, uh,

69:08

[01 10:13.685 – 01:10:16.865] uh, uh, not What's My Line.

69:11

[01 10:16.865 – 01:10:17.845] What's the name of the, uh...

69:13

[01 10:17.845 – 01:10:22.585] Uh, I forget the name of the, the TV show that she was on.

69:19

[01 10:22.585 – 01:10:24.045] Uh, This Is Your Life.

69:21

[01 10:24.045 – 01:10:29.715] And, um, uh, and, and you can get that on, uh, uh, YouTube.

69:27

[01 10:29.715 – 01:10:35.964] I- if you type in Lillian Roth This Is Your Life, it'll pop up, and that's where you can, uh, get a lot of those other movies too.

69:38

[01 10:35.964 – 01:10:39.665] But, um, so yeah, and, and you were talking about Grapevines.

69:42

[01 10:39.665 – 01:10:42.725] It's funny, I, I went down to my intergroup today, and that's the...

69:47

[01 10:42.725 – 01:10:48.285] Down about three blocks away is the only free, uh, rehab in, in the county.

69:53

[01 10:58.305 – 01:10:58.425] it.

69:54

[01 10:58.425 – 01:11:04.665] This way if I drank again, at least every month I'd be getting a, a magazine to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing.

70:04

[01 11:04.665 – 01:11:11.485] So I stopped at my, my home group first, picked up a stack of old Grapevines, took them down there and, and did that.

70:14

[01 11:11.485 – 01:11:13.705] So yeah, the Grapevine's important to me.

70:17

[01 11:13.705 – 01:11:16.605] And I s- try to support my group in whatever I can.

70:22

[01 11:16.605 – 01:11:19.205] Um, so that's, you know, that's about it.

70:25

[01 11:19.205 – 01:11:23.125] Try to, you know, I appreciate all these things and, and thank you, Nancy, for doing this.

70:32

[01 11:23.125 – 01:11:24.425] Thank you, John.

70:33

[01 11:24.425 – 01:11:31.425] Uh, uh, so, uh, I've heard people say, "Well, I got him drunk." Uh, I mean, uh, not drunk.

70:41

[01 11:31.425 – 01:11:32.885] "I got him sober.

70:43

[01 11:32.885 – 01:11:35.285] I got her sober." I get my words mixed up here.

70:47

[01 11:35.285 – 01:11:45.385] Um, yeah, if I'm going to take credit for somebody getting sober, I also need to take credit for them getting drunk, so yeah,

70:57

[01 11:45.385 – 01:11:46.365] I don't do it.

70:59

[01 11:46.365 – 01:11:47.465] That's God's job.

71:00

[01 11:47.465 – 01:11:53.625] So I let my work fig- uh, speak for itself, and I just give my credit to my higher power.

71:08

[01 11:53.625 – 01:11:55.445] It's, it's a lot easier that way.

71:11

[01 11:55.445 – 01:11:57.245] Keep my head off the chopping block.

71:14

[01 11:57.245 – 01:12:04.925] Okay, so last one we have is Laverne with number 13 from Canby, Indiana.

71:19

[01 12:04.925 – 01:12:13.685] Are you there, Laverne?

71:21

[01 12:13.685 – 01:12:16.905] I only have 12 questions here.

71:24

[01 12:16.905 – 01:12:18.524] Let me see.

71:25

[01 12:18.524 – 01:12:19.245] Ah.

71:26

[01 12:19.245 – 01:12:21.084] You only have 13?

71:27

[01 12:21.084 – 01:12:23.125] Let me see.

71:29

[01 12:23.125 – 01:12:25.905] Huh.

71:30

[01 12:25.905 – 01:12:28.025] No, there is only 12 here.

71:32

[01 12:28.025 – 01:12:28.805] Interesting.

71:33

[01 12:28.805 – 01:12:30.165] Well, I'm sorry.

71:34

[01 12:30.165 – 01:12:37.505] Well, let me just read that question that I have, and if Laverne is there, um...

71:41

[01 12:37.505 – 01:12:40.345] Oh, goodness, I'm, I'll be made a boo-boo on my slides here.

71:46

[01 12:40.345 – 01:12:43.185] Oh, God, I am not perfect yet.

71:49

[01 12:43.185 – 01:12:44.005] Oh, gosh.

71:50

[01 12:44.005 – 01:12:45.005] Oh, well.

71:51

[01 12:45.005 – 01:12:49.125] Uh- I, I can, uh, comment on some of the ones I've heard so far.

71:57

[01 12:49.125 – 01:12:54.405] Well, let, uh, let me give you this one and see if you can answer.

72:03

[01 12:54.405 – 01:12:54.875] Okay.

72:04

[01 12:54.875 – 01:13:03.845] How can I apply these traditions to my family, and can I listen with grace to family members as if I had no opinion?

72:13

[01 13:03.845 – 01:13:12.345] Oh, boy, I always got an opinion on something, you know?

72:18

[01 13:12.345 – 01:13:14.485] I'll, well, I'll tell you.

72:20

[01 13:14.485 – 01:13:24.725] I, uh, it was, uh, you know, early on when I found, uh, when my sons

72:27

[01 13:24.725 – 01:13:30.845] would call me, uh, for my advice on some of their, uh, problems.

72:32

[01 13:30.845 – 01:13:31.565] You know?

72:33

[01 13:31.565 – 01:13:41.645] One had, uh, when the ba- uh, baby was very young, it was with a babysitter that had, didn't have guards on the heater, and the baby

72:44

[01 13:41.645 – 01:13:50.305] had rolled over and caught his, her, his palm on the, on the grate and got a bad burn on the palm of his hand.

72:53

[01 13:50.305 – 01:14:00.365] And, uh, so he, you know, he, I, I think he called his father, and his father said, "Sue 'em." And he called me and said, "Well,"

73:04

[01 14:00.365 – 01:14:04.925] I says, "do you trust taking that baby back to that babysitter?" You know?

73:10

[01 14:04.925 – 01:14:14.805] And I said, "Well," but a- anyway, it ended up that the, the mother-in-law ended up babysitting the, the boy who's, uh, you know, working in Silicon Valley today.

73:21

[01 14:14.805 – 01:14:17.405] He's he was a young child then.

73:24

[01 14:17.405 – 01:14:27.545] But, uh, just to have them call and ask this drunk mom for her advice, you know, on, on, uh, on how

73:33

[01 14:27.545 – 01:14:35.045] to deal with some of their problems, you know, that, uh, that meant a lot, you know, that, that they trusted me.

73:42

[01 14:35.045 – 01:14:45.625] And, uh, and they know that I have another family in, in the program, uh, separate from, you know, the, my, uh, family

73:51

[01 14:45.625 – 01:14:48.365] of birth and marriage, and, uh.

73:53

[01 14:48.365 – 01:14:58.645] But I, you know, we had a, just a lot of good, uh, good conversation here tonight, and, uh, I could never

74:02

[01 14:58.645 – 01:15:01.465] take credit for anybody's sobriety, you know?

74:05

[01 15:01.465 – 01:15:02.785] Not even myself, you know?

74:07

[01 15:02.785 – 01:15:03.965] That's God's grace.

74:09

[01 15:03.965 – 01:15:12.725] And, uh, and I'm, I had a pleasure of meeting Willie from 1987 to 1993 w- in Sacramento.

74:15

[01 15:12.725 – 01:15:15.065] We'd go to the book studies there.

74:18

[01 15:15.065 – 01:15:25.085] So I got to, and plus she came out to California and did some, uh, studies for us, uh, some seminars for us, and just, just the

74:29

[01 15:25.085 – 01:15:25.965] most wonderful lady.

74:31

[01 15:25.965 – 01:15:34.475] And, uh, uh, you know, and, and somebody else mentioned it too, you know, that we are, uh, a representative of AA out in Pu-

74:40

[01 15:34.590 – 01:15:35.270] public, you know?

74:42

[01 15:35.270 – 01:15:41.030] So if you're gonna act the fool in traffic, don't put a bumper sticker on your car, you know?

74:49

[01 15:41.030 – 01:15:44.030] And give us all a bad reputation.

74:52

[01 15:44.030 – 01:15:45.850] You know?

74:54

[01 15:45.850 – 01:15:56.150] But, uh, I, uh, and I see people out in public, and not everybody wants to be acknowledged if they're with family or friends, and, but we'll see acro- uh, each other across

75:07

[01 15:56.150 – 01:15:58.650] the mall, and we nod at each other and smile.

75:11

[01 15:58.650 – 01:16:02.570] You know, we, there's, we recognize each other.

75:14

[01 16:02.570 – 01:16:08.390] And, uh, uh, and of course I've, I don't try to blow my own horn.

75:20

[01 16:08.390 – 01:16:09.850] It- let other people do that.

75:23

[01 16:09.850 – 01:16:11.590] And, you know, I've, uh...

75:25

[01 16:11.590 – 01:16:22.050] And I try to carry a message of hope, you know, and I laugh a lot and, and, uh, make fun of myself and, uh, try to make sobriety look attractive,

75:37

[01 16:22.050 – 01:16:22.409] you know?

75:38

[01 16:22.409 – 01:16:27.190] And, uh, we have, uh, a lady that's having a hard time staying sober.

75:44

[01 16:27.190 – 01:16:29.659] She wants to drink more than stay sober right now.

75:48

[01 16:29.659 – 01:16:36.210] And, uh, but I have hope for, so just keep being honest and keep, keep coming back, you know.

75:56

[01 16:36.210 – 01:16:39.369] Hopefully something'll click, uh, sooner or later.

75:59

[01 16:39.369 – 01:16:41.849] Otherwise, we got a tragedy ahead, you know?

76:02

[01 16:41.849 – 01:16:45.850] And this is a program of living, not dying, you know?

76:07

[01 16:45.850 – 01:16:54.570] And, uh, uh, I've, I've turned over a meeting that I had for a long time during COVID, and I finally got somebody to take it over.

76:17

[01 16:54.570 – 01:17:00.890] And they still look at me, I'm like not even five foot, and there's a, a...

76:24

[01 17:00.890 – 01:17:10.949] we turn the clocks, uh, back, and there was a clock like probably twice my height on the wall, and, and the lady that took over looks

76:34

[01 17:10.949 – 01:17:20.829] at me like, "The clock is five minutes slow." So I just went up to the young- tallest man in the room, I said, "That, the clock is five minutes slow.

76:47

[01 17:20.829 – 01:17:22.329] Could you adjust it?" You know, so he...

76:50

[01 17:22.329 – 01:17:32.369] But they keep looking to me, and sometimes I have to keep my eyes down 'cause somebody'll leave the door open and they look at me like, "She didn't close the door." C-

77:03

[01 17:32.369 – 01:17:33.449] uh, it's silly.

77:04

[01 17:33.449 – 01:17:34.329] It's so silly.

77:06

[01 17:34.329 – 01:17:42.650] But, you know, when you step back, you really gotta step back and l- let people think for themselves on the simplest things.

77:15

[01 17:42.650 – 01:17:48.369] But that just shows how much I was large and in charge for so damn long, you know.

77:22

[01 17:48.369 – 01:17:58.369] So I'm really pulling back and, but they're so m- used to me doing things, they keep looks- looking to me, and, uh, but, you know,

77:32

[01 17:58.369 – 01:18:06.150] it's fun and it's good and, and we had a, a book study where we just did two paragraphs.

77:40

[01 18:06.150 – 01:18:15.289] And, and what I love to do is to keep them focused on the study, 'cause everybody wants to jump ahead to another page or c- end of the paragraph.

77:52

[01 18:15.289 – 01:18:24.350] And I try to just bring them back to see what Bill's intention was and what he's, they're saying in the book, Bill and wh- whoever helped to write it, you know?

78:04

[01 18:24.350 – 01:18:33.829] And, uh, and that's, uh, that's so great, you know, that we stay in those little, little s- paragraphs and we're not...

78:13

[01 18:33.829 – 01:18:41.070] We've been in the agnostics for I don't know how long now, and we still didn't finish it today 'cause we just stayed in the grouch and the brainstorm.

78:24

[01 18:41.070 – 01:18:44.590] You know, and just had an hour's conversation on it.

78:29

[01 18:44.590 – 01:18:55.110] And, uh, you know, we had, uh, a five month and a 19 month and, uh, just w-

78:35

[01 18:55.110 – 01:19:05.289] it, it's just people that, that are, are, uh, just enjoying their sobriety and, but there's ups and downs, uh, you know, with family problems and this and that

78:47

[01 19:05.289 – 01:19:05.530] and...

78:47

[01 19:05.530 – 01:19:15.630] But, you know, it's, it's wonderful that, uh, that we don't all have a bad day on the same day, but everybody has a right to have a bad

78:59

[01 19:15.630 – 01:19:16.110] day.

79:00

[01 19:16.110 – 01:19:17.949] We all do.

79:01

[01 19:17.949 – 01:19:18.550] You know?

79:02

[01 19:18.550 – 01:19:22.050] Everything doesn't go so great, uh, you know, every day.

79:06

[01 19:22.050 – 01:19:30.650] We're dealing with life on life's terms, which isn't always fun, you know, but, uh, but it's doable.

79:14

[01 19:30.650 – 01:19:34.890] It's doable with, with the f- all the friends that we have here, you know?

79:20

[01 19:34.890 – 01:19:44.909] We, there, I have such support, and I hope I can, I'm being supportive of other people and, uh, and asking them how they are, rather than telling them how I am,

79:32

[01 19:44.909 – 01:19:48.110] ask them what's going on in their life, you know.

79:36

[01 19:48.110 – 01:19:50.170] That's, that's been- Thank you.

79:39

[01 19:50.170 – 01:19:51.789] Thank you, Laverne Okay.

79:41

[01 19:51.789 – 01:19:52.210] Thank you.

79:42

[01 19:52.210 – 01:19:53.270] Thank, thank you so much.

79:44

[01 19:53.270 – 01:19:55.449] Uh, thank you to everybody.

79:46

[01 19:55.449 – 01:20:06.090] I wanna thank, uh, Debbie N from Des Moines, Mike K from Arizona, uh, Eric from New York, Lisa from New Orleans, Charlie Charlie from Chico, California,

79:57

[01 20:06.090 – 01:20:16.090] uh, Jeff from North Dakota, Marty from New York, Deborah from Modesto, California, Terry F from New York City, Karen, uh, from San

80:06

[01 20:16.090 – 01:20:19.250] Francisco, California, Jeanette from Sacramento, California.

80:09

[01 20:19.250 – 01:20:21.250] California is well represented tonight.

80:11

[01 20:21.250 – 01:20:31.090] John K from Florida, and Laverne from, from Camby, Indiana, and, uh, Willie, uh, Willie B was my last sponsor.

80:19

[01 20:31.090 – 01:20:40.409] So that, I thank, I wanna thank, uh, all of you for, uh, for your wonderful responses on this.

80:26

[01 20:40.409 – 01:20:50.530] And let's, uh, now take all these 12 traditions and take 'em out into our lives, and, and our family, our home,

80:35

[01 20:50.530 – 01:20:54.850] the workplace, and our groups and, and put it all into action.

80:40

[01 20:54.850 – 01:21:04.850] I wanna thank Tim for being such a great host tonight and, uh, for Mike for asking me to come and share with you.

80:49

[01 21:04.850 – 01:21:09.170] This has been a real joy to take you all through the 12 traditions.

80:54

[01 21:09.170 – 01:21:13.510] Thank you so much, Nancy.

80:57

[01 21:13.510 – 01:21:15.250] You did an amazing job.

80:59

[01 21:15.250 – 01:21:20.530] And, um, I do wanna just say we've got a couple minutes.

81:04

[01 21:20.530 – 01:21:24.110] Do you wanna take a couple questions here or- Sure.

81:08

[01 21:24.110 – 01:21:24.650] You gotta...

81:09

[01 21:24.650 – 01:21:25.210] Okay.

81:10

[01 21:25.210 – 01:21:31.250] So if anyone has a question, you can raise your hand, and this is just asking Nancy a question.

81:18

[01 21:31.250 – 01:21:38.329] If you wanna have any conversation, I'm sure she would be happy to, uh, share her email address.

81:25

[01 21:38.329 – 01:21:44.909] If you did have a question, you can use the raise hand function, and I will ask you to unmute.

81:33

[01 21:44.909 – 01:21:47.430] Victor, you're up first.

81:35

[01 21:47.430 – 01:21:49.310] Oh?

81:35

[01 21:49.310 – 01:21:52.390] Oh, what a beautiful meeting.

81:38

[01 21:52.390 – 01:21:56.070] This is, uh, this is, uh, like, this is the place to be, is it not?

81:44

[01 21:56.070 – 01:22:06.070] You know, um, Nancy K, I'll see you again because thanks to Zoom we go to, uh, other meetings like

81:52

[01 22:06.070 – 01:22:08.430] 10/58 Threads and, uh, you know, and...

81:55

[01 22:08.430 – 01:22:13.030] You know, I can, I just, it's not a comment because everything's just perfect, eh?

82:01

[01 22:13.030 – 01:22:15.869] Everything's exactly how it shou- should be.

82:04

[01 22:15.869 – 01:22:24.329] And I'll tell you honestly, uh, for the end there I could talk to, to Laverne from Camby, Indiana, for all, the rest of the day.

82:14

[01 22:24.329 – 01:22:27.329] Like, what time is it and, and what do we say next?

82:19

[01 22:27.329 – 01:22:28.869] Nancy, thank you very, very much.

82:22

[01 22:28.869 – 01:22:29.590] Tim, love you.

82:23

[01 22:29.590 – 01:22:33.110] And I'm just trying to inspire some conversation.

82:27

[01 22:33.110 – 01:22:34.170] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

82:28

[01 22:34.170 – 01:22:35.110] What a group.

82:30

[01 22:35.110 – 01:22:38.480] Thank you, Victor.

82:31

[01 22:38.480 – 01:22:40.090] Thank you so much, Victor.

82:33

[01 22:40.090 – 01:22:44.730] All right.

82:34

[01 22:44.730 – 01:22:48.570] Well, I'm not seeing any questions for you, Nancy, so let's wrap it up.

82:40

[01 22:48.570 – 01:22:58.989] Um, next week join us again for Mike F, and he will be going through the traditions as well, doing a never before done presentation that,

82:50

[01 22:58.989 – 01:23:00.180] that he's put together.

82:52

[01 23:00.180 – 01:23:02.730] So, uh, please join us again.

82:55

[01 23:02.730 – 01:23:06.170] And now I will allow everyone to unmute and thank Nancy.

The following is an AI-generated transcript. Minor errors may occur. The audio is the authoritative source.

Tradition 12 presented by Nancy K – 2025-11-04

Tradition 12 presented by Nancy K – 2025-11-04

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