[00:00:00.440 – 00:00:05.439] I’ll, I’ll, I’ll clear my throat on the first call, and I’ll sneeze on the second call .

[00:00:05.439 – 00:00:09.599] Uh, good afternoon, everybody.

[00:00:09.599 – 00:00:11.000] My name is, uh, Tommy D.

[00:00:11.000 – 00:00:11.869] I’m definitely not an alcoholic.

[00:00:11.869 – 00:00:16.099] And, uh, I’m really happy to be here.

[00:00:16.099 – 00:00:22.839] Uh, if– Uh, my sobriety date is November seven, nineteen sixty-six.

[00:00:22.839 – 00:00:29.420] Uh, I- I, I came in AA, I was, uh I came to AA, I was twenty-six years old.

[00:00:29.420 – 00:00:38.060] Uh, I really, uh, just had a, a remarkable experience is that before the meeting is that, uh, I got to meet a new friend by the name of Ray.

[00:00:38.060 – 00:00:42.000] And if you’re impressed with thirty-eight years, I’m more impressed with fifty-three years.

[00:00:42.000 – 00:00:42.490] Yeah.

[00:00:42.490 – 00:00:44.100] Is that, uh, I mean, it’s just amazing.

[00:00:44.100 – 00:00:45.020] It’s just amazing.

[00:00:45.020 – 00:00:55.219] Uh, I’ll tell you a little bit about myself and what happened and, uh, what I’m doing today is that, uh, I, I talk real fast, so ten minutes is not a– no problem.

[00:00:55.219 – 00:00:58.640] Is that, uh, I was born and raised in New York City.

[00:00:58.640 – 00:01:04.299] I come from an Irish Italian background, and, uh, my, my father, the Italian, was the drunk.

[00:01:04.299 – 00:01:09.079] And I always tell people when you have somebody who’s half Irish and half Italian, what you get on your hands, you got a mean drunk.

[00:01:09.079 – 00:01:13.060] And, uh, I, uh, and I swore I would never drink.

[00:01:13.060 – 00:01:15.400] Is that I swore I, I swore I would never drink.

[00:01:15.400 – 00:01:16.700] I would never end up like my old man.

[00:01:16.700 – 00:01:24.459] My old man was on the Tony Muscatel and the port, uh, by the time he was, uh, in his thirties, and he died at fifty-three years old, a chronic alcoholic.

[00:01:24.459 – 00:01:26.219] And I swore I’d never end up like him.

[00:01:26.219 – 00:01:27.200] I ended up worse than him.

[00:01:27.200 – 00:01:30.159] Uh, in a period of– I drank for a period of nine years.

[00:01:30.159 – 00:01:33.219] For whatever reason, I didn’t pick up my first drink till I was sixteen years old.

[00:01:33.219 – 00:01:40.920] Uh, I drank a, a, a pint of Tony Port, as a matter of fact, and, uh, and chipped in fifty cents a piece, and we got drunk as a skunk.

[00:01:40.920 – 00:01:48.420] And, uh, and we were suit and ties down in New York City, and, uh, and I, uh, I had to clean up the mess the next day the guys made in the hallway.

[00:01:48.420 – 00:01:50.859] I didn’t like it, and for whatever reason, I didn’t drink for another two years.

[00:01:50.859 – 00:01:56.000] When I was eighteen years old, I, I, I, uh, I, I got kicked out of high school when I was sixteen years old.

[00:01:56.000 – 00:01:57.459] When I was eighteen years old, I started working.

[00:01:57.459 – 00:02:01.239] I was working in these barbecue po’boy walkers on the West Side of Manhattan.

[00:02:01.239 – 00:02:05.620] And, uh, I, I met up with a guy that was an ex-paratrooper, and, you know, he had big arms.

[00:02:05.620 – 00:02:07.420] He was a ladies’ man, and he was a drinker.

[00:02:07.420 – 00:02:13.799] And I said, “I wanna be like Rick someday.” And, uh, and I, uh– And he bought me my first glass of beer over a bar.

[00:02:13.799 – 00:02:18.719] And, uh, nine years later, uh, he bought me my last drink over a bar.

[00:02:18.719 – 00:02:22.740] And a month later, he took me into AA is that he came into AA a month before I did.

[00:02:22.740 – 00:02:33.039] Uh, you know, my story could end there, but I, you know, in nine years, I got arrested three different times for everywhere from, uh, disorderly conduct to, uh, attempted extortion.

[00:02:33.039 – 00:02:40.979] Is that, uh, just, just– And I, you know, I, I thought there was something wrong with me because I was always afraid.

[00:02:40.979 – 00:02:47.099] You know, I hung around with guys that would, that would punch you just as look– quick as look at you, and I thought there was something wrong with me.

[00:02:47.099 – 00:02:51.319] I was always sensitive is that I thought there was something wrong with being sensitive.

[00:02:51.319 – 00:03:00.139] Is that, uh, but I, uh, I remember that, uh, I– in, in, uh, nineteen sixty-six, uh, I, I– it was October, actually.

[00:03:00.139 – 00:03:06.960] I just got through jumping bail in New York City, uh, New York City, and I went clear out, clear out to Denver, Colorado, to get away from the cops.

[00:03:06.960 – 00:03:17.039] And, uh, and I, I was, I was terrified, and, uh, and I, and I said, “The reason that I drink the way I do, the reason I’m in trouble with the cops is because of the people I hang around

[00:03:17.039 – 00:03:18.199] with.” That was partially true.

[00:03:18.199 – 00:03:25.310] Is that if, if I get away from these guys I hang around with, go up to Connecticut, ’cause I spent the last forty-five years of my life in Connecticut.

[00:03:25.310 – 00:03:28.659] If I go up to Connecticut, I hang around my buddy Rick, things are gonna be different.

[00:03:28.659 – 00:03:31.939] And I went to Connecticut, and the first thing I did was pick up a drink.

[00:03:31.939 – 00:03:37.340] Rick put a pint of booze in front of me on a cold winter night, and I drank it down in about ten minutes.

[00:03:37.340 – 00:03:38.299] I was still vibrating.

[00:03:38.299 – 00:03:45.300] And for the– for a brief moment, I thought there was something wrong with me is that– ’cause Rick was always worse than me.

[00:03:45.300 – 00:03:49.080] You know, I don’t know you guys, but there’s always somebody who a– who’s worse than you.

[00:03:49.080 – 00:03:49.919] You ever say this?

[00:03:49.919 – 00:03:52.039] That every time I go in this bar, Jack’s in this bar.

[00:03:52.039 – 00:03:52.360] Look at that.

[00:03:52.360 – 00:03:53.280] Look at that bum over there.

[00:03:53.280 – 00:03:55.469] Every time I, I went to the bar, Jack was there.

[00:03:55.469 – 00:03:56.740] I was there probably as much as he was.

[00:03:56.740 – 00:04:01.099] Is that, uh, but I remember that I went out this one day.

[00:04:01.099 – 00:04:06.780] I, I, I was working in these, these, uh, meat markets is that I was learning, uh, how to, how to run a store.

[00:04:06.780 – 00:04:10.120] And I went out to lunch one day, and I had my, my– I thought I had the answer.

[00:04:10.120 – 00:04:11.960] The answer was three shots and three beers.

[00:04:11.960 – 00:04:17.199] Is that, uh, and I, and I went out to lunch, and I had my three shots and three beers, or three bottles of ale.

[00:04:17.199 – 00:04:20.110] And, uh, the next thing I know, I blacked out, and I passed out.

[00:04:20.110 – 00:04:21.560] I told the owner of the store to go someplace.

[00:04:21.560 – 00:04:22.920] You’re not supposed to tell owners of the store to go.

[00:04:22.920 – 00:04:27.860] Is that, uh, and I remember that I stood dry for about a month out of fear.

[00:04:27.860 – 00:04:34.920] Is that, uh, and my buddy Rick called me up, and he accused me of being a drunk, an alcoholic, and a few other names that I can’t repeat here.

[00:04:34.920 – 00:04:36.410] And I– and he conned me.

[00:04:36.410 – 00:04:37.579] He romanced me to go to AA.

[00:04:37.579 – 00:04:43.779] And at twenty-six years old, there was nobody in AA in Bridgeport, Connecticut, that was twenty-six years old.

[00:04:43.779 – 00:04:46.100] The– I– There, there were old people there.

[00:04:46.100 – 00:04:48.889] They were at least forty years old, at least forty, fifty years old.

[00:04:48.889 – 00:04:51.540] And, uh, the paint was peeling off the ceiling.

[00:04:51.540 – 00:04:54.538] And, uh, uh, the first speaker said he was a skid row bum.

[00:04:54.538 – 00:04:55.040] I said, “Ha!

[00:04:55.040 – 00:04:55.860] That’s not me.

[00:04:55.860 – 00:04:56.160] Look at me.

[00:04:56.160 – 00:04:56.759] I’m Joe Cool.

[00:04:56.759 – 00:05:04.139] I can never be a skid row bum.” And I ran out of the meeting over back fences to my neighborhood over in the Hollow and, uh, of, of Bridgeport.

[00:05:04.139 – 00:05:07.180] And, uh, I gotta talk fast or I’ll shut up on the drunkalog.

[00:05:07.180 – 00:05:10.579] Is that I, I remember that I was sober.

[00:05:10.579 – 00:05:12.980] You know, I kept on going to meetings.

[00:05:12.980 – 00:05:15.399] I was sober a year.

[00:05:15.399 – 00:05:18.540] And I don’t know how they did it, but on those days they give you a cake.

[00:05:18.540 – 00:05:21.360] Every time you– uh, every anniversary, a year out, you get a cake.

[00:05:21.360 – 00:05:22.519] And I said– I got the cake.

[00:05:22.519 – 00:05:23.740] I’m a sugar junkie, too.

[00:05:23.740 – 00:05:25.220] I says, “Now what do I do?

[00:05:25.220 – 00:05:25.600] It’s over.

[00:05:25.600 – 00:05:26.509] I got my cake.

[00:05:26.509 – 00:05:32.779] It’s all over.” And somebody said, “Do it for another day.” I says, “A day at a time.” It took me a year to figure out the day at a time program.

[00:05:32.779 – 00:05:42.879] I– you know, in the beginning, they told me, “Don’t worry about the steps or the big book.” Is that, uh, “You just concentrate on not drinking today, Tommy.” Is that I was sober, I was sober five years

[00:05:42.879 – 00:05:43.579] in the program.

[00:05:43.579 – 00:05:47.019] I– we, we adopted our, our first child, and I had two girls after that.

[00:05:47.019 – 00:05:49.699] And I remember I was sober twelve years in the program.

[00:05:49.699 – 00:05:53.560] So if anybody feels guilty about what I’m about to say, you don’t have to feel guilty.

[00:05:53.560 – 00:05:56.560] Is that I was sober twelve years in the program, my whole world caved in.

[00:05:56.560 – 00:05:58.699] Uh, my wife served me papers.

[00:05:58.699 – 00:06:04.639] Is that I was living in a furnished room for six months, and I didn’t wanna go to meetings every single– and I was an old-timer, twelve years sobriety.

[00:06:04.639 – 00:06:10.584] And, uh, and I, I ended up Going to meetings every single night, and I got custody of my three kids.

[00:06:10.584 – 00:06:18.884] There is nothing that you cannot do in sobriety is that I raised three kids for seven years with the help of God and a lot of good women in AA.

[00:06:18.884 – 00:06:28.843] As I spend more time talking to women sometimes than, than men about how to raise kids is that when I was– when I– in nineteen eighty-six, I, I married this wonderful woman by the name of Fenavita.

[00:06:28.843 – 00:06:33.783] Is that, uh, and I, I– my life has just grown and grown, and grown.

[00:06:33.783 – 00:06:41.504] Is that, uh, I come down to Florida two years after being a meat cutter for thirty-one years with a big company in Connecticut, is that– and it was a hell of an adjustment.

[00:06:41.504 – 00:06:45.504] And, uh, and I come down here, and I didn’t know nobody.

[00:06:45.504 – 00:06:48.283] I was an old-timer up in Connecticut is that everybody knew me.

[00:06:48.283 – 00:06:50.783] I come down here, and I says, “The hell with this AA down here.

[00:06:50.783 – 00:06:51.423] Nobody knows me.

[00:06:51.423 – 00:06:54.103] Nobody pays attention to me.” That’s why they made a fuss over me a few minutes ago.

[00:06:54.103 – 00:07:00.733] Is that, uh, and I, and I, I, I, I walked out of this meeting i-in Ruskin, Connecticut, and I said, “Oh, screw this.

[00:07:00.733 – 00:07:01.324] I’m out of here.

[00:07:01.324 – 00:07:03.793] I ain’t going to these meetings no more.” And I, I went home.

[00:07:03.793 – 00:07:04.803] I called up my sponsor.

[00:07:04.803 – 00:07:06.944] You, you got to have a sponsor.

[00:07:06.944 – 00:07:09.764] Is that, uh, I, I called up my sponsor.

[00:07:09.764 – 00:07:13.244] My sponsor comes around, and he, he listened to my baloney, and he says, “I’ll see you next week, right?

[00:07:13.244 – 00:07:14.083] You’ll see me next week.

[00:07:14.083 – 00:07:16.644] I’ll be there.” And I went back, and I told the group how I felt.

[00:07:16.644 – 00:07:18.564] And since that time, they jump over tables.

[00:07:18.564 – 00:07:20.343] They, they cl– “Oh, Tommy, don’t leave.

[00:07:20.343 – 00:07:21.084] We love you, man.

[00:07:21.084 – 00:07:30.184] We love you, baby.” Is that, uh, but today is that, you know, my, my home group is Lapalme Beach on Tuesday night is that it took me a long time to love that meeting.

[00:07:30.184 – 00:07:35.644] It took me a long time is that, uh, because I have this northern Yankee union mentality.

[00:07:35.644 – 00:07:37.024] It doesn’t work down here.

[00:07:37.024 – 00:07:38.223] It doesn’t work down here.

[00:07:38.223 – 00:07:42.403] Uh, you know, I’m, I’m very proud to be a union member for all the years I, I was one.

[00:07:42.403 – 00:07:43.543] Is that– but you know what?

[00:07:43.543 – 00:07:44.543] I had to change.

[00:07:44.543 – 00:07:51.483] And the thing that I have to continuously do and have to change is that I read the big book every single morning.

[00:07:51.483 – 00:07:55.264] I, I ask God every single day to help me not to forget for one second what I am.

[00:07:55.264 – 00:07:57.204] I’m a chronic alcoholic saved by grace.

[00:07:57.204 – 00:08:00.124] I help– help me save from the drink– first drink of poison.

[00:08:00.124 – 00:08:03.884] I bless– I, I ask God to bless every alcoholic and drug addict that I know.

[00:08:03.884 – 00:08:09.824] And I, I recently found out that, that my, my daughter has, has a problem with, with drugs, and I put her at the top of the list.

[00:08:09.824 – 00:08:13.264] Every time I turn around, there’s somebody else that goes at the top of the list.

[00:08:13.264 – 00:08:16.124] Is that, uh, um, I don’t know.

[00:08:16.124 – 00:08:23.184] I don’t know what else to add is that, uh, all I know is one thing is that, uh, there are so many winners in this room today.

[00:08:23.184 – 00:08:26.994] And don’t ever get quantity of sobriety mixed up with quality of sobriety.

[00:08:26.994 – 00:08:31.704] There’s, there’s so many people in my home group that, that have five years, ten years sobriety.

[00:08:31.704 – 00:08:34.683] Man, I’ll tell you right now, there are days I would give anything to have their sobriety.

[00:08:34.683 – 00:08:37.663] They’re just tremendous human beings, and I thank you for listening to me.

[00:08:37.663 – 00:08:47.163] Thank you, Tommy.

[00:08:47.163 – 00:08:48.703] Next, Jim R.

[00:08:48.703 – 00:08:55.384] Thank you .

[00:08:55.384 – 00:08:58.083] Good afternoon, everybody.

[00:08:58.083 – 00:09:00.024] My name is Jim Reed, an arrested alcoholic.

[00:09:00.024 – 00:09:06.623] When I say an arrested alcoholic, that means I try to keep the so-called disease arrested just one day at a time.

[00:09:06.623 – 00:09:12.663] My sobriety date is February the fifth, nineteen hundred and fifty-seven, and I desire to take drinks since.

[00:09:12.663 – 00:09:15.484] Thank you.

[00:09:15.484 – 00:09:20.604] My home group is a One Day at a Time group in Miramar, Florida.

[00:09:20.604 – 00:09:30.803] I’m always grateful, and I always look back at the basics, and I always talk about my first Alcoholics Anonymous

[00:09:30.803 – 00:09:31.224] meeting.

[00:09:31.224 – 00:09:34.994] But before I talk about that, I want to let you where, where I came from.

[00:09:34.994 – 00:09:42.423] I was an orphan, and I was left on the doorstep of New York, a-and I was put in a Catholic protectory till the age of twelve.

[00:09:42.423 – 00:09:45.903] When I come out of that protectory, I was living with some people.

[00:09:45.903 – 00:09:47.623] They brought me to some people to live with.

[00:09:47.623 – 00:09:50.943] And I stayed with these people, and these people drank a lot.

[00:09:50.943 – 00:09:52.004] They were alcoholics.

[00:09:52.004 – 00:09:54.563] So I g– I said that later when I come in AA.

[00:09:54.563 – 00:09:57.423] And I took their inventory.

[00:09:57.423 – 00:10:01.203] But you know, they introduced me to the first drink.

[00:10:01.203 – 00:10:06.803] And how it happened is this, you know, the– he was a steamfitter, and he used to drink every day.

[00:10:06.803 – 00:10:14.224] And then when he finished, uh, work, he always come home sometimes sober, sometimes not, sometimes early, sometimes late.

[00:10:14.224 – 00:10:15.984] You never know when you were gonna have supper.

[00:10:15.984 – 00:10:18.844] And she was also out.

[00:10:18.844 – 00:10:20.244] She drinks– she was a beer drinker.

[00:10:20.244 – 00:10:22.703] And he used to send me down at night.

[00:10:22.703 – 00:10:25.303] After he come home from work, he’d send me down with a growler.

[00:10:25.303 – 00:10:34.124] That was a milk can about down like that, and you send down, and you knock on the door and tell them Ed sent me, and they fill up the con– the, the can, twenty-five cents, and I bring it back.

[00:10:34.124 – 00:10:36.104] Now, I did this for a long time.

[00:10:36.104 – 00:10:42.244] And one night, I decided to open that can and taste what it– wanted to give it a taste and see what it was like.

[00:10:42.244 – 00:10:46.903] And that damn cover was so hard to open at times, and I had to pull it open.

[00:10:46.903 – 00:10:50.724] And I did that, and I tasted it a couple of times, and I liked it.

[00:10:50.724 – 00:11:00.813] And then one night, I, I tasted it again, and I went– just before I get into the house, I walked up the stairs, and I took one more slug of it, and I put the cover back, and I walked

[00:11:00.813 – 00:11:02.464] in, and put it on the kitchen table.

[00:11:02.464 – 00:11:05.423] And he got up, and he slapped me right across the mouth.

[00:11:05.423 – 00:11:10.634] He says, “You’re the son of a bitch who’s stealing my beer.” He was blaming the bartender for not putting enough b-beer in there.

[00:11:10.634 – 00:11:11.484] It was all froth.

[00:11:11.484 – 00:11:13.803] I forgot to wipe the froth off my face.

[00:11:13.803 – 00:11:15.783] I got in trouble.

[00:11:15.783 – 00:11:25.913] Well, anyhow, uh, I lived with them until, uh, I was seventeen, and, uh, I got a job at the school– after I finished

[00:11:25.913 – 00:11:29.984] school, I got a job working in steel lock– making steel lockers for the Navy.

[00:11:29.984 – 00:11:34.043] At the age of eighteen, Uncle Sam invited me into his army.

[00:11:34.043 – 00:11:34.943] I was drafted.

[00:11:34.943 – 00:11:36.744] I went into service.

[00:11:36.744 – 00:11:46.884] I knew when I went into service a lot of guys, you know, people go to, go to towns, and I was afraid because I knew what it was being locked up as a young kid, and I didn’t want to be that

[00:11:46.884 – 00:11:47.384] way again.

[00:11:47.384 – 00:11:56.384] So if I went to town any time or did anything at the basic training, I went to a hotel, had my drinks, and I could take it easy.

[00:11:56.384 – 00:11:59.283] The next morning, I can go back to the base.

[00:11:59.283 – 00:12:06.524] I was, uh, when I was drafted, I was sent to Okinawa, and I spent some time over there.

[00:12:06.524 – 00:12:12.344] And when I came back home again, I joined the Fifty-two twenty Club, and then I started to drink heavy.

[00:12:12.344 – 00:12:15.799] Now the part of my life is it had changed.

[00:12:15.799 – 00:12:21.740] I started to drink in the morning, at night, in the afternoon, every time.

[00:12:21.740 – 00:12:26.139] And I got to be, got to the part of my life when I was getting unmanageable.

[00:12:26.139 – 00:12:36.318] And one man come up to me one day and he says, “You know, it’s about time you went to work.” I used to play, uh, shuffleboard and all that business in the saloon, and that’s all I did, hung out,

[00:12:36.320 – 00:12:37.779] because I thought that was the way of life.

[00:12:37.779 – 00:12:40.919] But I discovered it wasn’t.

[00:12:40.919 – 00:12:49.159] And, you know, and I got to the part of my life then, you know, I had a wife and two– I got married, had a wife and two children, and even the day I got married, I don’t remember it.

[00:12:49.159 – 00:12:50.879] Don’t know whatsoever.

[00:12:50.879 – 00:12:57.399] And the only thing what happened there when people told me later on that I tripped going up the aisle, and I did this, and I did that.

[00:12:57.399 – 00:13:07.600] And then, you know, the night of the reception, I also went out, had a few drinks before that, and I came back from the reception, everybody’s dancing, and I walk in, and in the middle of the floor, everybody’s

[00:13:07.600 – 00:13:08.379] having a great time.

[00:13:08.379 – 00:13:10.580] And I look around, where the hell, what the hell is this?

[00:13:10.580 – 00:13:13.840] I looked around, I see my wife in a wedding gown.

[00:13:13.840 – 00:13:15.200] See my brother in tux.

[00:13:15.200 – 00:13:21.639] Then I took a look at me and said, “Oh my God, I got married.” And I don’t remember it.

[00:13:21.639 – 00:13:24.419] But, you know, that’s, that’s what happens to an alcoholic.

[00:13:24.419 – 00:13:26.159] Things happen, and you don’t remember it.

[00:13:26.159 – 00:13:28.639] I guess that was what you call a blackout.

[00:13:28.639 – 00:13:31.678] At that time, I didn’t know about blackouts until I come into AA.

[00:13:31.678 – 00:13:34.460] And, you know, I had a wife and two children.

[00:13:34.460 – 00:13:36.840] And my life got worse and worse.

[00:13:36.840 – 00:13:38.038] I got unmanageable.

[00:13:38.038 – 00:13:43.399] And then one time I went and then finally, finally turned to my life that I wound up in the Bowery of New York.

[00:13:43.399 – 00:13:45.080] Not a nice place to be.

[00:13:45.080 – 00:13:46.779] Not a nice place to be.

[00:13:46.779 – 00:13:52.239] But I guess that had to be my destination, and that had to be my fate, that that’s where I was gonna wind up.

[00:13:52.239 – 00:13:57.100] And so a friend of mine and I used to always went, went down to the Bowery looking for me.

[00:13:57.100 – 00:13:59.299] Come down on a Saturday one day.

[00:13:59.299 – 00:14:00.860] It was about six or eight weeks later.

[00:14:00.860 – 00:14:03.149] He went down looking for me, and he couldn’t find me on a Saturday.

[00:14:03.149 – 00:14:03.659] He went home.

[00:14:03.659 – 00:14:07.840] Sunday morning, he went to church, and he came back from home from church.

[00:14:07.840 – 00:14:12.039] He said he’s having his breakfast, and he had a funny feeling that he should go back down and look for me again.

[00:14:12.039 – 00:14:16.559] He went back out, and he found me on a Sunday afternoon and brought me home.

[00:14:16.559 – 00:14:25.639] And, uh, after that, my, uh… He said to my wife, “You better give him some coffee.” She says, “Make his own goddamn coffee.” Nobody wanted to talk to me.

[00:14:25.639 – 00:14:28.100] I was living at my father-in– mother-in-law’s home at that time.

[00:14:28.100 – 00:14:29.179] I wasn’t in my own place.

[00:14:29.179 – 00:14:35.500] Well, anyhow, uh, my wife says to me later on, she says, “Yeah, yeah, I hope you’re not going out again.” And I was so sick.

[00:14:35.500 – 00:14:37.720] I want to remember how I felt that day.

[00:14:37.720 – 00:14:43.820] And these two gentlemen came to my house that evening, and one became my sponsor.

[00:14:43.820 – 00:14:52.340] And one of the most important things Tom told me, he says, that night, he says, “You know, Jim, I was here a year before,” and evidently, you know, and I don’t remember that.

[00:14:52.340 – 00:14:53.779] I don’t remember that whatsoever.

[00:14:53.779 – 00:14:55.440] I never, never seen him before.

[00:14:55.440 – 00:15:04.940] But that night, I listened to him, and he says to me, I was sitting at the kitchen table, and I was shaking like this, you know, and I had a bathrobe on me, and I was in really bad shape.

[00:15:04.940 – 00:15:09.919] And he said to me, “You know, Jim,” he says, “You never have to drink again.

[00:15:09.919 – 00:15:16.019] Don’t, don’t take that first drink, and you’re gonna be okay.” They talked to me for a long time.

[00:15:16.019 – 00:15:17.960] And he left that night.

[00:15:17.960 – 00:15:27.960] He says to me, “I’m not gonna take you tomorrow,” he says, “but the following, I’m gonna take you to your first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.” That night, that first night, I walked in the doors of

[00:15:27.960 – 00:15:30.559] Alcoholics Anonymous at the Forest Hills Group in Long Island.

[00:15:30.559 – 00:15:38.259] As I walked in, a little old gentleman come up to me, put his hand out to me, threw his arms around me, says, “Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:15:38.259 – 00:15:40.580] Nice to see a young fella comes through the doors of AA.

[00:15:40.580 – 00:15:44.120] Come with me.” They never talk to you nice.

[00:15:44.120 – 00:15:44.879] Never.

[00:15:44.879 – 00:15:49.919] So he sat me down, and he ta-started telling me about different things about himself.

[00:15:49.919 – 00:15:53.559] And he asked me ab-about me a little bit, and I told him a little bit, and I was shaking, and I was sick.

[00:15:53.559 – 00:15:59.559] And he said, “Would you like a cup of coffee?” And I said, “Well, if I could hold it down.” And he went and got that cup of coffee.

[00:15:59.559 – 00:16:00.080] Brought it back.

[00:16:00.080 – 00:16:03.220] Them days, we had cups and saucers, you know.

[00:16:03.220 – 00:16:06.870] And I went to pick up that cup, and I shook so much that coffee was going into the saucer.

[00:16:06.870 – 00:16:14.259] He says, “Put it down, put it down, put it down.” And he come back, and he says, “I’ll be right back.” He came back, and he put the saucer back into the cup.

[00:16:14.259 – 00:16:24.320] And he, he gave me a, he broke a straw, and he says, “Here, you can drink it out of a straw.” Well, you know, I felt like an asshole that, that night because everybody’s drinking nicely in their cup of coffee, and I’m

[00:16:24.320 – 00:16:25.840] , you know.

[00:16:25.840 – 00:16:28.139] Wasn’t nice, you know.

[00:16:28.139 – 00:16:31.960] But, you know, that was an experience I had to learn.

[00:16:31.960 – 00:16:42.019] He said to me that night, he says, “You know, look at that wall.” After the meeting, after the speaker was out, and he says to me, “Look up that wall.” He said, “It’s called Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and the only goddamn step

[00:16:42.019 – 00:16:43.480] I want you to look at is the first step.

[00:16:43.480 – 00:16:50.830] The other lepa-level come later.” And then went on, “So I want you to recite that step.” And I recited it over and over.

[00:16:50.830 – 00:16:54.419] And he said, “Do you think you’re an alcoholic?” I says, “I don’t think I know.

[00:16:54.419 – 00:17:02.659] And that’s why I’m here.” And he told me, you know, that same thing that my Tom told me.

[00:17:02.659 – 00:17:05.099] “You, you never have to drink again.” He says, “You know, you’re a young fella.

[00:17:05.099 – 00:17:06.940] You got the rest of your life here, son.

[00:17:06.940 – 00:17:08.359] You got the rest of your life.

[00:17:08.359 – 00:17:10.180] Think about that,” he says.

[00:17:10.180 – 00:17:11.710] “You don’t have to go back out those doors again.

[00:17:11.710 – 00:17:18.960] You never have to.” But he says, “You know, we do the talking, and you do the listening.

[00:17:18.960 – 00:17:24.670] You listen to learn, to learn, to listen.” He said that over and over and over.

[00:17:24.670 – 00:17:29.160] “You take the goddamn cotton out of your ears, you stick it in your mouth, and shut up.

[00:17:29.160 – 00:17:38.779] We’ll do the talking, and you do the listening.” And then they assigned me to my first cup of coffee, and then they, they assigned me to, to a business meeting.

[00:17:38.779 – 00:17:39.940] I think it was three weeks later.

[00:17:39.940 – 00:17:43.390] And they said, “Do you want to set up the chairs and tables?” And I did that, you know.

[00:17:43.390 – 00:17:45.480] And everybody looked in my direction.

[00:17:45.480 – 00:17:47.339] So I volunteered.

[00:17:47.339 – 00:17:55.559] My sponsor said, “Atta boy, son.” He says, “You’re learning.” And then came the part, um, and the, you know, the, and the… I had to pick up all the ashtrays and put them all out.

[00:17:55.559 – 00:17:58.380] And that night after the meeting, I picked all the ashtrays up.

[00:17:58.380 – 00:18:02.680] They dumped the ashtrays in one thing, uh, box, and I put the others in the other box.

[00:18:02.680 – 00:18:12.339] And I br-I bring it in the kitchen, and I started to put it, and, and the, this old-timer come up and he said, “What are you gonna do with those ashtrays?” I said, “I’m gonna put away.” “Like hell you are,” he says.

[00:18:12.339 – 00:18:17.740] “Fill up that goddamn sink and put soap in there, and you wash every one of these goddamn things.” And he handed me a brush.

[00:18:17.740 – 00:18:22.538] “That’s your job.” Living nice, you know?

[00:18:22.538 – 00:18:24.028] You know, I gotta do it.

[00:18:24.028 – 00:18:25.548] But you know what?

[00:18:25.548 – 00:18:26.528] That was a lot of love.

[00:18:26.528 – 00:18:28.067] I’ll tell you, I learned.

[00:18:28.067 – 00:18:34.448] And then first time I made a pot of coffee, and then about a couple months later, I, I made my pot.

[00:18:34.448 – 00:18:38.167] First time I made coffee and everything — where’s your money?

[00:18:38.167 – 00:18:48.208] And the first time I made a coffee, and they said to me, uh, I said to them like, “I made the coffee and everything else,” and all of a sudden, I thought about coming back from Okinawa,

[00:18:48.208 – 00:18:51.607] about the guy putting the salt in the bo — in the coffee, and I did the same thing.

[00:18:51.607 – 00:18:53.407] I turned around and got the box, you know.

[00:18:53.407 – 00:18:55.067] Everybody come in there .

[00:18:55.067 – 00:18:56.738] They wonder, “Who the hell made this damn coffee?

[00:18:56.738 – 00:19:03.508] That shithead right in the corner.” But, you know, thank God that we have a program called Alcoholics Anonymous, you know?

[00:19:03.508 – 00:19:08.067] And I, I learned in the very beginning that if you grow slow, you have the rest of your life here.

[00:19:08.067 – 00:19:10.867] And thank God we do it one day at a time.

[00:19:10.867 – 00:19:12.607] God in one hand, AA in the other.

[00:19:12.607 – 00:19:14.647] We never have to drink again.

[00:19:14.647 – 00:19:15.948] Thank you, and God bless you all.

[00:19:15.948 – 00:19:24.587] Thank you, Jim.

[00:19:24.587 – 00:19:26.028] Ramona?

[00:19:26.028 – 00:19:35.087] Good afternoon.

[00:19:35.087 – 00:19:38.288] Is everybody happy to be alive today?

[00:19:38.288 – 00:19:38.337] Yeah.

[00:19:38.337 – 00:19:40.067] All right.

[00:19:40.067 – 00:19:43.928] My name’s Ramona, and I am an alcoholic.

[00:19:43.928 – 00:19:45.228] Alcoholic.

[00:19:45.228 – 00:19:51.208] My sobriety date is March thirty-first, nineteen seventy.

[00:19:51.208 – 00:20:01.428] Um, where

[00:20:01.428 – 00:20:02.228] do I start?

[00:20:02.228 – 00:20:06.367] Uh, there was always alcohol in our home.

[00:20:06.367 – 00:20:12.307] I suppose my dad was what you would call problem drinker.

[00:20:12.307 – 00:20:16.807] He’d go out on Friday evening and get back in time to work on Monday.

[00:20:16.807 – 00:20:23.988] Uh, my mother rarely ever drank, but it was always there, and it was always available.

[00:20:23.988 – 00:20:28.907] And my fa-

[00:20:29.034 – 00:20:36.774] Dad often gave me alcohol to drink as a child because he wanted me to grow up and handle it better than he did.

[00:20:36.774 – 00:20:43.034] ‘Cause oftentimes he would go look to see if the car was there to see if he drove it home.

[00:20:43.034 – 00:20:46.334] Well, obviously, that didn’t work.

[00:20:46.334 – 00:20:53.154] And, uh, I always had a few sips of his drink or had something to drink.

[00:20:53.154 – 00:20:56.974] But my first real drunk was around fourteen.

[00:20:56.974 – 00:21:04.594] I got so sick, I was in bed for three days, and that should’ve told me something, but it sure didn’t.

[00:21:04.594 – 00:21:14.254] Uh, got married very young, at sixteen, and all I ever wanted was a family and a home.

[00:21:14.254 – 00:21:23.194] And I met this young soldier at the end of World War II, and I married him, and I had three babies.

[00:21:23.194 – 00:21:26.994] I did not drink for that three years, four years, actually.

[00:21:26.994 – 00:21:32.274] But then I left him because he drank too much, and he was crazy.

[00:21:32.274 – 00:21:40.934] And shortly, and in between that, I had a beautiful little girl.

[00:21:40.934 – 00:21:48.974] And I gave her up for adoption ’cause I knew I couldn’t take care of her.

[00:21:48.974 – 00:21:51.854] Broke my heart that I did it.

[00:21:51.854 – 00:21:54.614] I’ll touch on that again later.

[00:21:54.614 – 00:22:00.774] And then I married another soldier that I met in nineteen fifty.

[00:22:00.774 – 00:22:03.274] He was the love of my life.

[00:22:03.274 – 00:22:13.434] Um, and, and I really thought I was there when I met him because I met a man who

[00:22:13.434 – 00:22:15.174] knew how to drink.

[00:22:15.174 – 00:22:16.574] I did not.

[00:22:16.574 – 00:22:18.834] If I drank, I got drunk.

[00:22:18.834 – 00:22:21.854] I didn’t pace over any line anywhere.

[00:22:21.854 – 00:22:23.334] But he could…

[00:22:23.334 – 00:22:30.764] He was a very hard drinker, controlled drinker, and I had three more beautiful children.

[00:22:30.764 – 00:22:37.954] But somewhere, my prince changed.

[00:22:37.954 – 00:22:47.994] And this man that was to take care of me the rest of my life, uh, drank more and more, and

[00:22:47.994 – 00:22:50.254] I was filled with fear.

[00:22:50.254 – 00:22:53.974] I was filled with fear always.

[00:22:53.974 – 00:22:56.254] Always less than.

[00:22:56.254 – 00:23:01.234] Always feeling I didn’t fit in anywhere.

[00:23:01.234 – 00:23:05.694] And I didn’t drink every day in the beginning.

[00:23:05.694 – 00:23:07.254] I was a periodic drinker.

[00:23:07.254 – 00:23:17.694] But when I drank, you could bet it would be at the worst possible time in front of the– all, all the wrong people,

[00:23:17.694 – 00:23:24.274] just with a lot of chaos and something to make me feel worse about myself.

[00:23:24.274 – 00:23:26.994] I stayed in a lot of blackouts.

[00:23:26.994 – 00:23:29.374] Didn’t remember.

[00:23:29.374 – 00:23:33.474] Don’t remember some of them today, but that’s okay now.

[00:23:33.474 – 00:23:43.494] I– After a lot of years of drinking and trying to quit many times and couldn’t, I tried very hard through the

[00:23:43.494 – 00:23:46.854] church, but I would always drink again.

[00:23:46.854 – 00:23:55.754] In nineteen seventy, I went to my first AA meeting in Anchorage, Alaska, the Elmendorf Air Force Base.

[00:23:55.754 – 00:24:02.754] And I know most of you people find AA and think you’ve come home.

[00:24:02.754 – 00:24:05.034] That was not my case.

[00:24:05.034 – 00:24:15.694] I met a bunch of men in hospital blue unifor-uniforms, and, um, I thought they were crazy.

[00:24:15.694 – 00:24:25.834] They, they told me I had to find a God, that it could be anything, even the radiator, and I thought, “Dear God, these people need me bad.”

[00:24:27.234 – 00:24:38.114] ” ‘Cause they’re really sick.” And they talked about their big egos, and I thought, “I’m glad I’m not like that.” I

[00:24:38.114 – 00:24:47.034] truly believed that God had sent me to that place as a missionary, and then I was gonna be this great speaker after that, and you know how it goes.

[00:24:47.034 – 00:24:48.654] I knew everything.

[00:24:48.654 – 00:24:53.474] The one thing I know today is I know very little.

[00:24:53.474 – 00:24:56.314] That’s what Alcohol Anonymous taught me.

[00:24:56.314 – 00:25:04.314] It’s also taught me to follow directions, and I do that most of the time.

[00:25:04.314 – 00:25:15.334] Someone else already said it: There’s nothing that you can’t do or walk through and

[00:25:15.334 – 00:25:25.394] not drink as long as you follow directions, read the book, get a sponsor, and don’t take that

[00:25:25.394 – 00:25:26.434] first drink.

[00:25:26.434 – 00:25:33.014] Um, my family proved the book of Alcohol Anonymous to me.

[00:25:33.014 – 00:25:43.754] Our– My older children did well, but my youngest child became drug-involved and alcohol-involved

[00:25:43.754 – 00:25:50.274] very young, and she’s been about thirty years out there now, but she’s finally getting it.

[00:25:50.274 – 00:25:54.974] And I raised her child in sobriety.

[00:25:54.974 – 00:26:05.454] I today have fifteen or sixteen grandchildren and about fourteen great-grandchildren.

[00:26:05.454 – 00:26:09.394] And they haven’t seen me take a drink.

[00:26:09.394 – 00:26:21.594] My youngest little great-grandson, or next to the youngest, he’s six years old, he says, “Why do you go to those meetings all the time?” I

[00:26:21.594 – 00:26:22.174] lied to him.

[00:26:22.174 – 00:26:24.834] I told him to teach other people not to drink.

[00:26:24.834 – 00:26:25.754] I really didn’t want…

[00:26:25.754 – 00:26:28.694] He’s too young.

[00:26:28.694 – 00:26:38.826] But I buried my mother in sobriety, and I buried my husband of fifty years,

[00:26:38.826 – 00:26:40.146] lacking four months.

[00:26:40.146 – 00:26:50.226] And all you wonderful people from World of Vista and other groups in Orlando, too, were there for me.

[00:26:50.226 – 00:26:56.966] All the way through it, you made my life bearable.

[00:26:56.966 – 00:27:06.066] When my husband quit drinking, the doctors told him he wouldn’t live five years.

[00:27:06.066 – 00:27:08.206] He had cirrhosis of the liver.

[00:27:08.206 – 00:27:15.906] Thirty years later, he died from cirrhosis of the liver, and the doctor would not believe he hadn’t been drinking.

[00:27:15.906 – 00:27:20.306] He says, “How much does he drink a day?” He had not drank for thirty years.

[00:27:20.306 – 00:27:24.966] But I saw the end results of what alcohol will do.

[00:27:24.966 – 00:27:35.866] God gave me the grace and the strength to be able to be of the service and be there for him, take care of him

[00:27:35.866 – 00:27:37.566] for, in his final days.

[00:27:37.566 – 00:27:42.486] Today, I have so many wonderful friends.

[00:27:42.486 – 00:27:47.266] And it’s so good to be alive.

[00:27:47.266 – 00:27:54.446] And these last two years are the only time in my life I’ve ever been alone.

[00:27:54.446 – 00:28:04.446] I didn’t know how I was gonna do that either because I’d really been taken care of financially and, and, and all other

[00:28:04.446 – 00:28:05.046] ways.

[00:28:05.046 – 00:28:15.166] But I’ve learned to walk in peace and know that you’re always there for me, and I have

[00:28:15.166 – 00:28:16.186] a great God.

[00:28:16.186 – 00:28:18.906] I get up every morning.

[00:28:18.906 – 00:28:21.926] I don’t ask Him to keep me from drinking.

[00:28:21.926 – 00:28:24.065] It doesn’t come to mind.

[00:28:24.065 – 00:28:32.846] But I do ask Him to help me be the best I can be, to do His will.

[00:28:32.846 – 00:28:41.346] Because if I please Him, I’m gonna please me, and I’ll make a whole lot of other people happy, too.

[00:28:41.346 – 00:28:47.546] And I caused enough chaos in my past that I don’t want to cause more.

[00:28:47.546 – 00:28:49.646] And there’s just one other thing.

[00:28:49.646 – 00:28:56.566] That little gal that I gave up for adoption, I was glad to meet her in sobriety.

[00:28:56.566 – 00:29:01.666] She came to me, and I got to make amends to her.

[00:29:01.666 – 00:29:09.806] And today, I have a wonderful relationship with all of my children from my first marriage and my second marriage.

[00:29:09.806 – 00:29:10.646] Thank you.

[00:29:10.646 – 00:29:18.126] Thank you, Ramona.

[00:29:18.126 – 00:29:20.766] Katie.

[00:29:20.766 – 00:29:30.766] I know

[00:29:30.766 – 00:29:33.646] I’m getting old because my creak so much.

[00:29:33.646 – 00:29:38.506] But first, let’s have the queen wave.

[00:29:38.506 – 00:29:45.646] My name’s Katie Parker, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:29:45.646 – 00:29:47.075] Katie.

[00:29:47.075 – 00:29:51.385] My sobriety date is September the twenty-first, nineteen forty-nine.

[00:29:51.385 – 00:30:02.846] In,

[00:30:02.846 – 00:30:12.926] uh, my years with, uh, being in the program, I’ve met so many people, and I’ve seen so many changes in the program,

[00:30:12.926 – 00:30:16.866] things that we didn’t even think about when I came in.

[00:30:16.866 – 00:30:24.726] Um, my home group is, uh, six oh five group in Satellite Beach.

[00:30:24.726 – 00:30:28.706] But, uh, excuse me.

[00:30:28.706 – 00:30:35.106] I, um, I came into AA when I was twenty-one.

[00:30:35.106 – 00:30:45.066] I thought I was an alcoholic, and we went through so much with him, and I said, “I’ll never drink.

[00:30:45.066 – 00:30:55.146] I never will be like my father.” Well, when I got to high school and we were going

[00:30:55.146 – 00:31:00.776] to the football games, I spent more time under the bleachers than I did on top of them.

[00:31:00.776 – 00:31:10.866] And I had the drink, and I’m telling you, it made me a new person.

[00:31:10.866 – 00:31:12.786] It was wonderful.

[00:31:12.786 – 00:31:19.886] I was immediately five foot two, blonde, blue-eyed, and a cheerleader.

[00:31:19.886 – 00:31:23.546] That was my ambition.

[00:31:23.546 – 00:31:27.846] And, uh, I just felt at home.

[00:31:27.846 – 00:31:29.446] You know, I loved everybody.

[00:31:29.446 – 00:31:30.906] I was a lover, not a fighter.

[00:31:30.906 – 00:31:36.846] And it was just so wonderful, the feeling I had.

[00:31:36.846 – 00:31:38.126] I could do anything.

[00:31:38.126 – 00:31:40.586] I could dance better.

[00:31:40.586 – 00:31:42.886] I could sing better.

[00:31:42.886 – 00:31:51.486] Conversations, oh, you should hear the deep subjects we used to talk about in the beer joints.

[00:31:51.486 – 00:31:57.786] But I got sober in Charleston, West Virginia, which is my home state.

[00:31:57.786 – 00:32:01.546] And it was so funny.

[00:32:01.546 – 00:32:09.166] I knew a man that used to come into the same, the same beer joint that I frequented.

[00:32:09.166 – 00:32:14.126] And we used to have roll call every night to make sure everybody was there.

[00:32:14.126 – 00:32:24.666] And I kept watching him, and he would come into the bar– into the beer joint and stand at the bar and

[00:32:24.666 – 00:32:25.466] drink a Coke.

[00:32:25.466 – 00:32:28.866] And he’d do that every night.

[00:32:28.866 – 00:32:32.046] Finally, I asked somebody.

[00:32:32.046 – 00:32:35.146] I said, “Why does that guy come over here and drink a Coke?

[00:32:35.146 – 00:32:41.198] He owns a restaurant right across the street.” He could have all the Cokes he wanted over there, free.

[00:32:41.198 – 00:32:51.638] And somebody told me, said, “Well, he was a bad alcoholic, and he went to AA, and

[00:32:51.638 – 00:32:59.398] he doesn’t drink anymore.” Now, that seed was planted in my foggy mind, but I remembered it.

[00:32:59.398 – 00:33:08.818] I went to work for a chemical company in West Virginia, and they tried every way in the world to help me.

[00:33:08.818 – 00:33:11.118] I was a daily drinker.

[00:33:11.118 – 00:33:21.398] I just wanted to keep that buzz on all the time, and so therefore, I had to drink all the time in order to keep that buzz.

[00:33:21.398 – 00:33:26.998] And I had to laugh at Charlie the other– uh, when he spoke this afternoon.

[00:33:26.998 – 00:33:35.618] He was ta-talking about the gnats, you know, that would– that, that weren’t there, but he was getting rid of them.

[00:33:35.618 – 00:33:44.388] Well, um, in World War II, they, uh, they did the, uh, rationing of liquor.

[00:33:44.388 – 00:33:51.698] But they had some off-brands and, and different kinds, you know, at least thirty days old.

[00:33:51.698 – 00:33:56.318] And, uh, you could buy that without a ration card.

[00:33:56.318 – 00:34:00.878] You had to be twenty-one to have a ration card, and I was not twenty-one.

[00:34:00.878 – 00:34:04.598] So I had to buy the, the other stuff, you know.

[00:34:04.598 – 00:34:12.478] And I got onto, uh, apricot brandy, and I thought, “Oh, I found the answer this time.

[00:34:12.478 – 00:34:19.658] It’s so smooth going down, and oh, I, I could just feel it going through my stomach and into my arms.

[00:34:19.658 – 00:34:28.658] It was just wonderful.” And I didn’t count on the gnats, though.

[00:34:28.658 – 00:34:37.458] You know, if you’ve ever had peaches around or apricots or anything like that, and how the gnats will always gather to it?

[00:34:37.458 – 00:34:47.538] Well, I’d sit in my office, and I’d, uh, see those little gnats, one or two or three, and

[00:34:47.538 – 00:34:49.858] I’d blow them away.

[00:34:49.858 – 00:34:52.878] Well, of course, you know what happened.

[00:34:52.878 – 00:34:54.518] They brought all their friends over.

[00:34:54.518 – 00:35:02.198] I was the only person sitting there in the office with these gnats above my head, just swarming.

[00:35:02.198 – 00:35:09.798] But I’m glad I heard Charlie this afternoon because now I don’t feel so all alone.

[00:35:09.798 – 00:35:11.658] I know somebody else saw those, too.

[00:35:11.658 – 00:35:21.718] I was twenty-one years old when I was first introduced to AA, and my mother

[00:35:21.718 – 00:35:22.998] told me one night, she said…

[00:35:22.998 – 00:35:34.038] Well, when I was having a bad time, she says, “You’re just gonna have to do something about your drinking, or you’re going to have to leave.” And,

[00:35:34.038 – 00:35:44.238] uh, at, at work, it was, “Katie, you’ve gotta do something about this.” So that big brain came off, and here was

[00:35:44.238 – 00:35:51.598] this guy that had been a bad alcoholic, and he came into beer joints, and he drank a Coke.

[00:35:51.598 – 00:36:01.658] So I said, “Okay, I’ll join AA.” That was the only thing I had ever known about AA, was this gentleman that came into the beer

[00:36:01.658 – 00:36:02.098] joint.

[00:36:02.098 – 00:36:08.518] And when, uh, my mother told me, she said…

[00:36:08.518 – 00:36:15.478] I said, “You find out about it, Mom, and, and I’ll join, you know.” Well, she fooled me.

[00:36:15.478 – 00:36:17.948] I thought she could never find out about AA.

[00:36:17.948 – 00:36:19.098] She didn’t even drink.

[00:36:19.098 – 00:36:20.918] How could she know anything about it?

[00:36:20.918 – 00:36:29.778] But I didn’t give her enough credit because she, she found out about AA, and she told me, she says, “Don’t go anyplace tonight, Katie.

[00:36:29.778 – 00:36:36.458] A lady from AA is gonna come over and see you.” I thought, “Oh, my God.

[00:36:36.458 – 00:36:39.378] What have I got myself in for?” I didn’t know.

[00:36:39.378 – 00:36:41.878] You know, there were no treatment centers then.

[00:36:41.878 – 00:36:49.038] There were no women in AA to speak of, and it was just a hush-hush thing.

[00:36:49.038 – 00:36:56.278] To be an alcoholic back then was a terrible thing to be, and they sure kept it anonymous.

[00:36:56.278 – 00:36:58.458] Not like today.

[00:36:58.458 – 00:37:02.178] And there weren’t any young people.

[00:37:02.178 – 00:37:02.998] None.

[00:37:02.998 – 00:37:08.438] They were all, you know, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, whatever.

[00:37:08.438 – 00:37:15.838] And a lot of them had lived under the bridge and, you know, the men and everything.

[00:37:15.838 – 00:37:20.018] So when they saw me walk in, they went into hysterics.

[00:37:20.018 – 00:37:28.198] “I spilled more liquor than you ever drank.” I’m sure some of you young people have heard that.

[00:37:28.198 – 00:37:41.028] And I said, “Well, if you hadn’t spilled so much, maybe you’d have gotten here sooner.” So,

[00:37:41.028 – 00:37:43.798] you know, what right did they have to tell me that?

[00:37:43.798 – 00:37:49.218] But that was what I wanted to hear because I didn’t want to be an alcoholic.

[00:37:49.218 – 00:37:51.178] I didn’t want to quit drinking.

[00:37:51.178 – 00:37:56.808] I just wanted to live my normal, sloppy, happy self, you know?

[00:37:56.808 – 00:38:07.738] Well, for the next three years, I tried every way in the world to quit drinking, and

[00:38:07.738 – 00:38:11.118] I’d always end up back in, in the rooms.

[00:38:11.118 – 00:38:15.598] And finally, they really got kind of tired of it, you know.

[00:38:15.598 – 00:38:17.838] Nobody would sponsor me.

[00:38:17.838 – 00:38:24.378] They said they’d rather, uh, take time to help somebody that really wanted it.

[00:38:24.378 – 00:38:30.898] And I said, “I want it.” And I thought they weren’t telling me something.

[00:38:30.898 – 00:38:36.098] They were keeping the secret from me, you know, ’cause I was so young, they didn’t wanna tell me.

[00:38:36.098 – 00:38:40.018] Well, I did lose my job.

[00:38:40.018 – 00:38:41.578] I did lose my home.

[00:38:41.578 – 00:38:43.158] I, um…

[00:38:43.158 – 00:38:53.182] I was just ostracized by my brothers and sisters and, and any family member, and I ended up in

[00:38:53.182 – 00:38:59.142] a little hotel, and I had a wonderful spiritual experience then.

[00:38:59.142 – 00:39:08.602] I was so sick, and I knew I was dying, and I had no one to call on.

[00:39:08.602 – 00:39:15.982] Oh, I’d heard about God in, in the rooms, you know, but He didn’t want anything to do with me.

[00:39:15.982 – 00:39:16.641] I was…

[00:39:16.641 – 00:39:17.982] I’d done too much.

[00:39:17.982 – 00:39:18.902] I was too bad.

[00:39:18.902 – 00:39:24.122] I’d hurt too many people, and it wasn’t my fault, but, you know.

[00:39:24.122 – 00:39:35.902] So, um, in desperation, I asked this God that I’d heard about in the rooms like this, and

[00:39:35.902 – 00:39:41.062] I said, “Please help me.” There was no, no one else that could help me but Him.

[00:39:41.062 – 00:39:45.742] And I had the most wonderful feeling come over me.

[00:39:45.742 – 00:39:55.902] It was just like I was wrapped in a warm blanket, and I knew that there was a God and that He knew me,

[00:39:55.902 – 00:40:06.092] and He loved me, and He was gonna take care of me, and I haven’t doubted that up to this day ’cause He’s always taken care

[00:40:06.092 – 00:40:07.322] of me.

[00:40:07.322 – 00:40:13.102] I, too, turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him every morning.

[00:40:13.102 – 00:40:20.742] Aw.

[00:40:20.742 – 00:40:31.182] Okay, okay, but needless to say, I have had a wonderful life,

[00:40:31.182 – 00:40:37.742] and it’s such a miracle to me that I finally did get it when I was twenty-six.

[00:40:37.742 – 00:40:48.142] And I had a, I had a group around me that cared about me and loved me, and I knew I never had to be alone

[00:40:48.142 – 00:40:48.602] again.

[00:40:48.602 – 00:40:55.362] So all you young people out there, and thank God there’s so many of you, it’s just wonderful.

[00:40:55.362 – 00:40:57.791] It just does my heart good because-

[00:40:57.913 – 00:41:03.913] So I know what kind of life you’re gonna have if you stick with this, and that’s what you have to do.

[00:41:03.913 – 00:41:14.323] No matter what, you have to follow this program, and, uh, y- you’ll have the best life way beyond your wildest

[00:41:14.323 – 00:41:14.873] dreams.

[00:41:14.873 – 00:41:17.473] Believe me, I’ve been there.

[00:41:17.473 – 00:41:19.113] Thanks.

[00:41:19.113 – 00:41:36.073] Thank

[00:41:36.073 – 00:41:36.633] you, Katie.

[00:41:36.633 – 00:41:37.633] Bill?

[00:41:37.633 – 00:41:47.063] I got them tears, Katie.

[00:41:47.063 – 00:41:48.143] You got them too.

[00:41:48.143 – 00:41:58.153] But, uh, you know, I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up this one thing because

[00:41:58.153 – 00:42:07.013] I don’t believe there’d be any old-timers on this podium up here if it wasn’t for another group we hardly ever mention, and that’s the family group of Al-Anon.

[00:42:07.013 – 00:42:08.393] I’d like to recognize them.

[00:42:08.393 – 00:42:10.693] Thank you.

[00:42:10.693 – 00:42:13.073] That’s enough.

[00:42:13.073 – 00:42:13.913] That’s enough.

[00:42:13.913 – 00:42:21.173] Don’t give r- ever give an Al-Anon or a new man too many attaboys.

[00:42:21.173 – 00:42:21.423] Mm-mm.

[00:42:21.423 – 00:42:31.513] See, um, I, too, of course, have been graced with the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and came from

[00:42:31.513 – 00:42:33.033] jail straight into the rooms.

[00:42:33.033 – 00:42:35.933] In fact, a man brought me the message.

[00:42:35.933 – 00:42:39.793] In fact, he called me boy at the meeting, and I was 44 years old then.

[00:42:39.793 – 00:42:44.453] But anyhow, I came to the old Central Group in Orlando, Florida.

[00:42:44.453 – 00:42:47.213] Some of you are here from Central, I know.

[00:42:47.213 – 00:42:57.553] But in any event, the book says that we’ll be confronted by men or those in whom the problem has been solved a-

[00:42:57.553 – 00:42:58.993] and that’s what happened to me.

[00:42:58.993 – 00:43:07.912] I ran into s- a group of men who were willing to help me from my present condition into a much better place.

[00:43:07.912 – 00:43:13.733] And one of those men was Clarence Snyder, number 41.

[00:43:13.733 – 00:43:17.193] Story’s in the Big Book, Home Brewmeister.

[00:43:17.193 – 00:43:20.073] Clarence lived in Orlando till the…

[00:43:20.073 – 00:43:21.933] He died a few years later after that.

[00:43:21.933 – 00:43:31.213] Those of you who are out in Seattle might have remembered they had a notice up on the big board there in the stadium for a moment of silence for Clarence.

[00:43:31.213 – 00:43:41.333] But, uh, Clarence knew AA up one side and down the other and, uh, was willing to share with a fresh drunk, and that was the thing that

[00:43:41.333 – 00:43:41.653] really…

[00:43:41.653 – 00:43:51.653] This man that had been around since this thing had started, knew about the writing of the Big Book and everything else, and was willing to share time with a, a fresh drunk just out of jail.

[00:43:51.653 – 00:43:56.513] And that had really impressed me about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:43:56.513 – 00:44:08.753] And, uh, later on in them same rooms, even before Clarence’s death, I was graced with another one who

[00:44:08.753 – 00:44:15.793] impressed me just as much, and over the, and probably more years really, and that was Charlie Lindenwood, Arkansas traveler.

[00:44:15.793 – 00:44:17.503] Whoa.

[00:44:17.503 – 00:44:20.213] So, damn right.

[00:44:20.213 – 00:44:26.573] So you see, I kind of, I had two, two different sources coming at me.

[00:44:26.573 – 00:44:31.373] And if you knew the two men, you know they, they didn’t get along all, at all together.

[00:44:31.373 – 00:44:40.633] But, uh, anyhow, I, uh, I learned in AA that it’s, the program’s about one thing.

[00:44:40.633 – 00:44:45.453] I’m more interested really in, in new people than I am these old people sitting up here.

[00:44:45.453 – 00:44:48.553] They know what I’m talking about, and they’ve experienced it.

[00:44:48.553 – 00:44:53.513] But I’m in, what I’m really interested in is the new folks here, fairly new folks.

[00:44:53.513 – 00:44:59.093] And those of you who might not know, but the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is about fulfilling dreams.

[00:44:59.093 – 00:45:06.153] And I’m one of these fellows that happens to believe that you have to bring your drunken dreams into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:45:06.153 – 00:45:14.173] And you get with this guy they call a sponsor or this gal that they call a sponsor, and for God’s sakes, get a sponsor.

[00:45:14.173 – 00:45:15.933] And get a sponsor that’s got a sponsor.

[00:45:15.933 – 00:45:19.412] If you don’t, you’ll be listening to two damn fools, you and him.

[00:45:19.412 – 00:45:29.733] You go over this wish list or your dream list or whatever you want to call it, and you work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous

[00:45:29.733 – 00:45:34.413] and these 12 steps, and these dreams will come true.

[00:45:34.413 – 00:45:42.733] As I said, I crawled out of a jail and came to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and brought my usual problems with me.

[00:45:42.733 – 00:45:47.553] I’ve served in three wars and been drunk in 27 countries.

[00:45:47.553 – 00:45:51.513] So I know all about drinking, and I’m quite sure most of y’all do, too.

[00:45:51.513 – 00:45:54.753] I thought I’d done a lot of exciting things.

[00:45:54.753 – 00:46:04.773] I found out I hadn’t done a damn thing that was very exciting until I came to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous because that’s when, when I started to live, when I came to these rooms and listened to these people and started

[00:46:04.773 – 00:46:06.093] fulfilling these dreams.

[00:46:06.093 – 00:46:11.913] And I live in a place today that I never thought possible.

[00:46:11.913 – 00:46:15.513] For one thing, I wasn’t raised in the country.

[00:46:15.513 – 00:46:20.573] And just recently we sold, sold a small place down in Narcoossee, Florida.

[00:46:20.573 – 00:46:25.593] And incidentally, I belong to the Narcoossee No-Name group of Alcoholics Anonymous, the best damn group in the country.

[00:46:25.593 – 00:46:29.193] And if yours ain’t, don’t come down there and screw ours up.

[00:46:29.193 – 00:46:30.593] You go back and straighten yours out.

[00:46:30.593 – 00:46:37.653] So we sold it, and we bought a little place in town now.

[00:46:37.653 – 00:46:39.393] And life’s a lot easier for me.

[00:46:39.393 – 00:46:41.333] I got a little junk store running.

[00:46:41.333 – 00:46:45.333] But the thing about the dreams is what I’d like to tell you about.

[00:46:45.333 – 00:46:46.673] I brought some dreams.

[00:46:46.673 – 00:46:50.713] See, I didn’t have any formal education when I came to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:46:50.713 – 00:46:52.173] I quit school in the seventh grade.

[00:46:52.173 – 00:46:54.613] I was always embarrassed by that.

[00:46:54.613 – 00:46:56.993] Of course, when I was drunk, I’d give you all kinds of things.

[00:46:56.993 – 00:46:58.913] You know, I was a doctor, a pilot, an artist.

[00:46:58.913 – 00:47:01.613] You know, just anything you wanted me to be, I’d be.

[00:47:01.613 – 00:47:08.705] But I was still embarrassed by that, and when I finally sobered up, because it’s pretty hard to get an education when you’re sucking on a wine jug.

[00:47:08.705 – 00:47:18.965] But when I finally sobered up, an old man told me, he says, uh, “I want you to quit whining.” There’s two pe- two kinds of people in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, winners

[00:47:18.965 – 00:47:23.725] and whiners, and I was whining, that I didn’t have this education and all that.

[00:47:23.725 – 00:47:34.055] And an old man called me over, and he says, “Come here, dummy.” And I says, “Uh, what do you want?” And he says, “I want you to do something about the education thing or shut up.” And

[00:47:34.055 – 00:47:36.865] I said, uh, I said our national anthem, you know.

[00:47:36.865 – 00:47:45.085] I said, “But you don’t understand.” And he said, “What don’t I understand?” I says, “I don’t have a high school d- uh, diploma.” He says, “Good, dummy.

[00:47:45.085 – 00:47:50.935] That’s where you start.” And Charlie Linwood, God bless him, he gave me one of the best things I have ever had in AA.

[00:47:50.935 – 00:47:54.445] An alcoholic always wants to start from where he ain’t.

[00:47:54.445 – 00:47:57.045] And that’s what I wanted to do.

[00:47:57.045 – 00:48:02.705] But anyhow, I went down and took the necessary tests, went to the university, found out it took four years to get a degree.

[00:48:02.705 – 00:48:05.945] I have a degree in art, need 12, 14 hours for a degree in sociology.

[00:48:05.945 – 00:48:09.205] I don’t want it, but the dream’s been fulfilled.

[00:48:09.205 – 00:48:13.245] I wanted to be an auctioneer, and I’ve been an auctioneer for some years now.

[00:48:13.245 – 00:48:19.685] Always wanted to live on the water because it had a calming effect on me.

[00:48:19.685 – 00:48:21.445] Troop ships have a calming effect on me.

[00:48:21.445 – 00:48:26.765] The only thing I do is get, uh, some hungry on troop ships, but other than that, I’m just like this the whole time.

[00:48:26.765 – 00:48:28.025] They just bring me right down.

[00:48:28.025 – 00:48:28.945] And water will do that.

[00:48:28.945 – 00:48:31.045] A swimming pool will do it for me, any kind of water.

[00:48:31.045 – 00:48:33.525] So I lived on the water in Orlando.

[00:48:33.525 – 00:48:43.545] But then when Alverna determined that we needed this small farm in Narcoossee, well, I, I sort of opposed to it because it had the lake right there at the back door and all, you know,

[00:48:43.545 – 00:48:46.165] and liked it and was adjusted to it and liked it and everything.

[00:48:46.165 – 00:48:52.645] So anyhow, she went out, and I went down there to look at the place after she talked me into it a few times.

[00:48:52.645 – 00:48:55.665] And I thought, “Well, there’s a nice big barn.

[00:48:55.665 – 00:48:56.925] There’s a house and everything.

[00:48:56.925 – 00:49:00.585] Twelve and a half acres here.” And I looked over there, and there was a cattle hole.

[00:49:00.585 – 00:49:02.985] Had about four feet of water in it.

[00:49:02.985 – 00:49:06.185] So I had my water, so we moved to Narcoossee.

[00:49:06.185 – 00:49:09.525] Another dream’s been fin- fulfilled.

[00:49:09.525 – 00:49:19.565] And I just want to tell you folks that maybe you haven’t practiced this thing, and maybe you want to start from where you ain’t, that I don’t have a dream that hadn’t been fulfilled in the

[00:49:19.565 – 00:49:21.105] rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:49:21.105 – 00:49:24.625] Every dream I ever had has been fulfilled.

[00:49:24.625 – 00:49:27.585] And I certainly enjoy being here today.

[00:49:27.585 – 00:49:37.705] And I tell you one thing else, that perhaps you sometimes get a little disgusted with the program, and things will seem a little rough, and that’s exactly the time you need

[00:49:37.705 – 00:49:38.505] to hang in there.

[00:49:38.505 – 00:49:43.254] It’s because, see, life is one day chicken, the next day feathers.

[00:49:43.254 – 00:49:44.125] I don’t care who you are.

[00:49:44.125 – 00:49:45.205] That’s the way it goes down.

[00:49:45.205 – 00:49:46.715] Huh?

[00:49:46.715 – 00:49:55.625] Now, just because you come in today and you got sober yesterday, that don’t mean you’re going to ride off into the sunset of happy, happy sobriety and never be faced with the contingencies of everyday living.

[00:49:55.625 – 00:49:56.865] It ain’t going to work that way.

[00:49:56.865 – 00:49:57.474] Mm-mm.

[00:49:57.474 – 00:49:58.805] The rent’s got to be paid.

[00:49:58.805 – 00:50:05.105] But if you’ll stay with this program, I guarantee you the things I’ve said are absolutely true.

[00:50:05.105 – 00:50:09.145] And if you think not, just make a list tonight.

[00:50:09.145 – 00:50:13.965] Make an honest application of these 12 steps for the next year.

[00:50:13.965 – 00:50:20.705] And I’ll guarantee you at the end of that year, you’ll either have the things on the list or maybe some items might have been changed.

[00:50:20.705 – 00:50:21.765] You don’t need a Cadillac.

[00:50:21.765 – 00:50:22.885] You need a pickup truck.

[00:50:22.885 – 00:50:25.465] But those things will be there.

[00:50:25.465 – 00:50:27.085] But here’s going to be the amazing thing.

[00:50:27.085 – 00:50:29.565] You’re going to have much more than what you got on the list.

[00:50:29.565 – 00:50:31.325] Guarantee it.

[00:50:31.325 – 00:50:33.845] So this has been an exciting time for me.

[00:50:33.845 – 00:50:37.265] Most exciting time in my life, like I said.

[00:50:37.265 – 00:50:39.085] A beautiful time.

[00:50:39.085 – 00:50:40.805] There’s a richness to my life today.

[00:50:40.805 – 00:50:44.745] There’s a lot of beautiful, fantastic people in my life today.

[00:50:44.745 – 00:50:50.985] A lot of love, challenge of that new tomorrow, excitement of that day.

[00:50:50.985 – 00:50:52.445] God’s exciting, too.

[00:50:52.445 – 00:50:53.425] I want you to know that.

[00:50:53.425 – 00:51:00.485] But do you know with all the love, with all the exciting, with all the beauty, with all the friendships and everything, I better remember one thing.

[00:51:00.485 – 00:51:02.705] It’ll all be taken away with a single drink.

[00:51:02.705 – 00:51:03.405] Thank you.

[00:51:03.405 – 00:51:13.605] Thank you, Bill.

[00:51:13.605 – 00:51:14.625] Ray?

[00:51:14.625 – 00:51:22.705] Yeah.

[00:51:22.705 – 00:51:23.285] Good evening.

[00:51:23.285 – 00:51:26.805] My name’s Ray, and I’m a, a proud alcoholic.

[00:51:26.805 – 00:51:36.865] I found Alcoholics Anonymous in, on its 17th birthday, the 17th of, uh, uh,

[00:51:36.865 – 00:51:39.245] the 10th of June, 1952.

[00:51:39.245 – 00:51:41.155] I had just been…

[00:51:41.155 – 00:51:46.505] I had just come back from, uh, Germany.

[00:51:46.505 – 00:51:50.625] I, I went in the Navy in 1935 and retired in 1958.

[00:51:50.625 – 00:51:53.825] I was a street kid from New York.

[00:51:53.825 – 00:51:56.285] I had eight grades of school.

[00:51:56.285 – 00:51:57.985] It took me nine years to do that.

[00:51:57.985 – 00:52:06.985] And, uh, I worked in a hash joint on Broadway, and a sailor come in there when the fleet was in the Hudson River in New York in ’34.

[00:52:06.985 – 00:52:16.005] And I was impressed with this guy, and, uh, the first night, he, uh, he had 35 cents, and I had to ring it all up.

[00:52:16.005 – 00:52:22.645] But the next night he come in, it o- it was only five cents because you had to ring something so the, in case there was a spotter.

[00:52:22.645 – 00:52:29.965] Uh, uh, so I, he ate for several nights there without paying anything, a nickel.

[00:52:29.965 – 00:52:37.525] And he said to me, “Would you like to get in the Navy?” So I, uh, said, “What do you have to do?” So he, he’s the one that got me into the Navy.

[00:52:37.525 – 00:52:40.865] His name was Benjamin Drosky from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[00:52:40.865 – 00:52:45.605] But the greatest thing I ever did was to join the Navy.

[00:52:45.605 – 00:52:49.065] Uh, I was a street kid from New York.

[00:52:49.065 – 00:52:51.845] I learned how to drive cars by stealing them.

[00:52:51.845 – 00:52:57.475] And, uh, uh, it was, uh, I had to hustle newspapers.

[00:52:57.475 – 00:53:04.114] I used to sell the s- papers in the subway from seven o’clock at night till midnight.

[00:53:04.114 – 00:53:12.181] We got the papers for one and three-quarter cents and sold them for a nickel, and I’d ride the train for five hours and make a buck and a half.

[00:53:12.181 – 00:53:19.921] When I was 12 years old, I worked in a butcher shop, and, uh, I got 10 cents an hour.

[00:53:19.921 – 00:53:22.301] I could only do it on Saturday ’cause I was in grade school.

[00:53:22.301 – 00:53:27.461] And the first payday, the fellow says to me, he hand me a dollar and a quarter.

[00:53:27.461 – 00:53:29.271] He says, “I’m gonna give you an extra nickel.

[00:53:29.271 – 00:53:40.201] You did a good job.” He says, “What are you gonna do with all that money?” He says, “Why don’t you just operate with a quarter?” Now,

[00:53:40.201 – 00:53:41.801] this is right in the heart of depression.

[00:53:41.801 – 00:53:51.861] He said, “I’m nine years older than Katie here.” So I– he said, “Put a dollar in the bank.” So I did,

[00:53:51.861 – 00:53:53.661] and I got up to $67.

[00:53:53.661 – 00:53:58.101] And my old man sent home a rubber check to pay the rent.

[00:53:58.101 – 00:54:02.661] Well, you had five days to pay it or hit the street.

[00:54:02.661 – 00:54:08.941] My mother says, “Go get $30 from your bank.” I never got back one buck.

[00:54:08.941 – 00:54:10.801] You only did what you were told.

[00:54:10.801 – 00:54:15.001] My time, children were seen and not heard.

[00:54:15.001 – 00:54:16.641] Today, you can’t shut them up.

[00:54:16.641 – 00:54:24.801] So I, I had a, I had a great life not having education.

[00:54:24.801 – 00:54:34.381] I, I went in the Navy, like I say, in ’35, and I retired in fifty, uh, eight as the chief warrant officer in the United States Navy, 23 years.

[00:54:34.381 – 00:54:43.401] And, uh, I learned how to be a good shipmate, and I preach that in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:54:43.401 – 00:54:49.441] When I came into Alcoholics Anonymous, it was a ray of sunshine.

[00:54:49.441 – 00:54:58.261] I always had to go before a priest and put my hand up and not take a pledge that I wouldn’t drink for a year, never knowing that there was a word like alcoholic.

[00:54:58.261 – 00:55:08.421] I did that three times till, uh, any of you people from New York or Long Island know Jimmy Cullen, the King Cullen

[00:55:08.421 – 00:55:09.021] stores.

[00:55:09.021 – 00:55:15.641] Well, I worked on his yacht when I was in the Navy there in Brooklyn, and, uh, he was my sponsor.

[00:55:15.641 – 00:55:26.161] And his wife, Florence, and my wife were good friends, and I’d just come back from Germany, and his wife said to me, uh, said to my wife, Pat, says, “Pat,

[00:55:26.161 – 00:55:27.241] I got good news.

[00:55:27.241 – 00:55:37.981] Jimmy found a place they call AA, and he hasn’t had a drink in over a year.” Well, the first words out of my wife’s mouth was, “Have

[00:55:37.981 – 00:55:42.241] him see my husband.” Well, that night he took me.

[00:55:42.241 – 00:55:46.181] He come by the house and took me to a meeting in Baldwin, Long Island.

[00:55:46.181 – 00:55:50.141] Then he took me to another one in Amityville, another one in Bay Shore.

[00:55:50.141 – 00:55:54.181] And when I walked into AA for the first time, I felt like I was home.

[00:55:54.181 – 00:56:02.701] Oh, to see this room full of all these people, I said, “Jesus, it’s unbelievable.” Alcoholic, I never knew alcoholic.

[00:56:02.701 – 00:56:12.281] I learned how to swim in the Harlem River, where you push the toad with one hand, the condom with the other, and I thought I was in heaven.

[00:56:12.281 – 00:56:22.181] Uh, uh, so I, I really had all sorts of experiences of, uh, of living in the street and learning how the rent we paid.

[00:56:22.181 – 00:56:24.320] The higher you went in the house, then you paid.

[00:56:24.320 – 00:56:26.421] The h- higher you went, the cheaper the rent.

[00:56:26.421 – 00:56:28.541] You only pay $18 a month.

[00:56:28.541 – 00:56:30.661] It eventually went up to thirty.

[00:56:30.661 – 00:56:35.320] That’s what it was when I had to take the money out of the bank to pay the rent for one month.

[00:56:35.320 – 00:56:45.781] But I, I give my longevity to, uh, and my health, uh, all the credit goes to Alcoholics

[00:56:45.781 – 00:56:46.461] Anonymous.

[00:56:46.461 – 00:56:56.501] I was born before World War I, and, uh, what I’ve seen and heard, I’ve been in, in, in– I was in the

[00:56:56.501 – 00:56:58.761] Navy when I found Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:56:58.761 – 00:57:02.321] I had, uh, six more years to do before I retired.

[00:57:02.321 – 00:57:06.241] I become a sponsor to shipmates.

[00:57:06.241 – 00:57:12.201] So I had an awful lot of experience and, and I traveled around the world after I got out of the Navy.

[00:57:12.201 – 00:57:14.101] I’m a cancer survivor.

[00:57:14.101 – 00:57:16.081] I have a colostomy.

[00:57:16.081 – 00:57:17.661] I call it my Hollywood asshole.

[00:57:17.661 – 00:57:23.521] The doctor said I’ve had it over thirty years.

[00:57:23.521 – 00:57:25.941] I’m a front end shitter.

[00:57:25.941 – 00:57:31.721] The doctor says to me, uh, “You know, you’re gonna, you’re gonna be operated on.

[00:57:31.721 – 00:57:35.461] You, you’ve got a, there’s a fifty/fifty chance you might not make this thing.

[00:57:35.461 – 00:57:44.461] You got an awful bright outlook.” And I said, “Doc, have you ever hear of AA?” He says, “Alcoholics Anonymous?” I said, “Yes.” At that time, I had about 23 years in AA.

[00:57:44.461 – 00:57:53.571] I says, “If you can survive AA, you can survive anything.” Now, any of you people that’s nurses here will know what a colostomy is.

[00:57:53.571 – 00:58:03.621] And when I came out of the hospital, I, I went in weighing 157 pounds and came out weighing 90 pounds 30 days

[00:58:03.621 – 00:58:04.041] later.

[00:58:04.041 – 00:58:07.081] They gave me a bottle of pain pills.

[00:58:07.081 – 00:58:17.281] And, and the wives of the other people who were in there used to say to my wife, “Will you please have your husband talk to my husband?” They’re all in the cemetery pushing

[00:58:17.281 – 00:58:18.921] up daisies, and I’m still here.

[00:58:18.921 – 00:58:23.981] They gave me a bottle of pain pills and sent me home weighing 90 pounds.

[00:58:23.981 – 00:58:27.061] I never opened the pain pills.

[00:58:27.061 – 00:58:32.621] Now, any, any, they say doctors and nurses would know what pain you have.

[00:58:32.621 – 00:58:37.281] But I got out and worked and did things, and I held on to that pain.

[00:58:37.281 – 00:58:40.521] I felt like the, a volcano was busting in my belly.

[00:58:40.521 – 00:58:42.081] They take all your guts out.

[00:58:42.081 – 00:58:46.301] That it took me two years to train myself.

[00:58:46.301 – 00:58:48.841] But I hung in there.

[00:58:48.841 – 00:58:51.761] I’m an Aries, I said, and I, I’m a ram.

[00:58:51.761 – 00:59:01.261] I go forward, and I don’t let too much, I don’t let any bumps detour me ’cause I’m positive and, uh, and that’s how I live my life.

[00:59:01.261 – 00:59:04.821] I traveled around the world after I got out of the Navy.

[00:59:04.821 – 00:59:07.901] I was a sales manager for a company in France and Monte Carlo.

[00:59:07.901 – 00:59:15.629] And I sold in foreign countries and, and dealt with the, the military, all the military.

[00:59:15.629 – 00:59:26.389] And, uh, I learned how to get along with people, and I preach this to alcoholics: be

[00:59:26.389 – 00:59:28.889] kind, be good, be giving.

[00:59:28.889 – 00:59:34.139] Whether you know them or not, if they’re an alcoholic, do everything you can to help them.

[00:59:34.139 – 00:59:37.309] Don’t look for anything in return.

[00:59:37.309 – 00:59:46.649] And I’m gonna be ninety years my next birthday, and I count my blessings that I found Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:59:46.649 – 00:59:52.129] I survived cancer, I survived AA, survived the depressions.

[00:59:52.129 – 00:59:56.429] I found out that I was also a little bastard.

[00:59:56.429 – 01:00:02.509] I didn’t find out later in life my wife had an affair with her brother-in-law, and I was the result of that.

[01:00:02.509 – 01:00:04.289] But my sister used to say to…

[01:00:04.289 – 01:00:12.689] “Your brother idolizes you, and he wants to be like you, but he’ll never make it.” And I never knew why she kept telling me that.

[01:00:12.689 – 01:00:15.449] Because we had different fathers.

[01:00:15.449 – 01:00:24.989] So I have a lot to be thankful for, and most of all is you people right here in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:00:24.989 – 01:00:30.749] I love you all.

[01:00:30.749 – 01:00:45.889] Let

[01:00:45.889 – 01:00:47.069] us thank Tommy.

[01:00:47.069 – 01:00:57.239] Jim, Ramona, Katie, Bill,

[01:00:57.239 – 01:00:58.029] and Ray.

[01:00:58.029 – 01:01:08.129] You shared this afternoon your experience, strength, and hope.

[01:01:08.129 – 01:01:18.169] You told us a little bit about why, how you came into the program and how the program has helped you in your life, and each one of us in this room today could learn from you.

[01:01:18.169 – 01:01:22.929] For those of you who care to, let us join with the Lord’s Prayer.

[01:01:22.929 – 01:01:24.629] Let’s give God a nice hand too.

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