[00:00:01.960 – 00:00:06.860] And one mi– one man I asked was an old-timer that used to be here in Akron.

[00:00:06.860 – 00:00:15.839] He got his sobriety here in Akron, and he had since moved to Florida, and I wanted to have him on this panel, and he wanted very much to come.

[00:00:15.839 – 00:00:20.399] His name was John Montevan, and he got sick.

[00:00:20.399 – 00:00:25.839] John has been a sick man for the last few days, and he is– wasn’t able to be with us.

[00:00:25.839 – 00:00:33.320] And tonight, I would like for us to say a little prayer for John and just remember him as we go through this old-timers panel.

[00:00:33.320 – 00:00:43.340] And the replacement I got for John, I was sitting down thinking one day, and I was wondering who I was gonna get, and I called a friend and asked if

[00:00:43.340 – 00:00:45.518] they knew of anyone that I might be able to get.

[00:00:45.518 – 00:00:52.119] And they said, “Well, we got Sean here.” And I remembered that Sean was an old-timer.

[00:00:52.119 – 00:00:57.359] Sean is an old-timer from Detroit– I mean, from, uh, Toronto.

[00:00:57.359 – 00:01:01.479] So I gave Sean a call, and he was more than gracious to accept.

[00:01:01.479 – 00:01:08.239] With forty-one years of sobriety, I give you Sean Knight from Toronto, Canada.

[00:01:08.239 – 00:01:18.120] Hi, everybody.

[00:01:18.120 – 00:01:20.379] My name’s Sean, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:01:20.379 – 00:01:25.519] Remember in the book where they talked about the bush league pinch hitter?

[00:01:25.519 – 00:01:26.980] That’s me tonight.

[00:01:26.980 – 00:01:33.700] Uh, to me, it was a great thrill when, uh, Jim called me.

[00:01:33.700 – 00:01:38.000] Uh, I figured that maybe somebody had to be replaced.

[00:01:38.000 – 00:01:40.799] I later found out it was because of illness.

[00:01:40.799 – 00:01:51.159] But the very idea of coming to Akron, uh, the very idea of coming to the place where that intersection

[00:01:51.159 – 00:02:01.260] of grace took place, where Bill, in his confusion and anxiety and sense of defeat, was walking through the

[00:02:01.260 – 00:02:08.258] hotel lobby, the music coming, and he didn’t know how he was gonna get through.

[00:02:08.258 – 00:02:10.460] Things were not going well.

[00:02:10.460 – 00:02:16.199] And he did what you’ve done and what people have done for me.

[00:02:16.199 – 00:02:21.109] He reached out for that other alcoholic, and eventually he found Dr.

[00:02:21.109 – 00:02:21.819] Bob.

[00:02:21.819 – 00:02:27.340] And, uh, sixty-nine years ago, I guess yesterday, we celebrate that fact.

[00:02:27.340 – 00:02:31.180] So what a privilege it is for me to, to be here.

[00:02:31.180 – 00:02:41.500] Uh, this past weekend– weekend past, they, they were celebrating the Normandy invasion.

[00:02:41.500 – 00:02:48.580] And I had a brother, Bob, who was on the beach on, uh, in the Canadian Air Force.

[00:02:48.580 – 00:02:52.280] They came in right after the, the troops on Juno Beach.

[00:02:52.280 – 00:03:00.439] And he often talked about sleeping under a truck that night and the bombs going over back and forth.

[00:03:00.439 – 00:03:05.960] And I had another brother that flew a Lancaster, and I was a kid at home.

[00:03:05.960 – 00:03:08.719] And these guys had a war to fight.

[00:03:08.719 – 00:03:11.699] And I remember they marched us all over.

[00:03:11.699 – 00:03:18.960] We used to have to march into school, and we’d have to march into church, and we were kind of being prepared, I guess, for something like that.

[00:03:18.960 – 00:03:22.759] But I came from a, a nice big family.

[00:03:22.759 – 00:03:25.259] I had five sisters who are all still alive.

[00:03:25.259 – 00:03:26.620] My two brothers are gone.

[00:03:26.620 – 00:03:32.379] I came from, uh, just about the most loving parents that I could ever imagine.

[00:03:32.379 – 00:03:36.460] And if I had to choose parents, I couldn’t choose anybody but them.

[00:03:36.460 – 00:03:44.899] And I know many of my friends who’ve come in with, uh, difficult situations in their home, abusive situations.

[00:03:44.899 – 00:03:52.020] And it just tells me one thing, that we suffer from a disease of alcoholism that is kind of random.

[00:03:52.020 – 00:04:02.000] That the idea is there that we have to be allergic to alcohol, that we have to have an emotional predisposition, and I had all these things.

[00:04:02.000 – 00:04:11.560] And very quickly, when I started to drink, I played a lot of sports in Detroit and Windsor, and I kind of stayed away from the booze in my teen years.

[00:04:11.560 – 00:04:14.319] But when I started, it started quick for me.

[00:04:14.319 – 00:04:19.660] And there’s one story that I always like to think is my real alcoholic story.

[00:04:19.660 – 00:04:22.209] And, and I was up in a little town.

[00:04:22.209 – 00:04:26.579] I actually grew up in Windsor, across from Detroit, as, as Jim alluded.

[00:04:26.579 – 00:04:32.740] And, uh, I was in this place drinking, and it was a kind of a jazz place.

[00:04:32.740 – 00:04:39.300] Uh, Erskine Hawkins was playing, and not Coleman Hawkins, but a jazz group, Erskine Hawkins.

[00:04:39.300 – 00:04:43.800] And there was an absolutely beautiful, worldly singer.

[00:04:43.800 – 00:04:47.699] This dusky woman was up there, and I’m sitting there by myself.

[00:04:47.699 – 00:04:56.100] And I don’t know whether you ever did that, but sometimes you’d just get on the train and pour yourself a drink and go where the train took you.

[00:04:56.100 – 00:05:05.680] And I was drinking wine, and oh, she was singing, “It’s not the pale moon that excites me, that thrills or delights me.

[00:05:05.680 – 00:05:18.120] Oh no, dear, it’s just the nearness of you.” And I was sitting there thinking, “How does she know I’m here?” Well,

[00:05:18.120 – 00:05:20.199] that’s kind of my alcoholic story.

[00:05:20.199 – 00:05:23.860] And believe it or not, eventually she ended up at my table.

[00:05:23.860 – 00:05:27.298] She probably thought, “Who’s that poor sap down there drinking?

[00:05:27.298 – 00:05:34.560] You know, that kid, he looks so dumb down there.” And she invited me up to her room for coffee and sandwiches, and up I went.

[00:05:34.560 – 00:05:44.779] And then, like a lot of alcoholic stories that start off just wonderfully, eventually there was that moment I was telling her what I was gonna do in my life, and all of a sudden

[00:05:44.779 – 00:05:48.319] there was a thumping at the door.

[00:05:48.319 – 00:05:51.620] And for the alcoholic, there’s always a thumping.

[00:05:51.620 – 00:06:01.620] More tragically, sometimes it’s the, the screech of a child or a police siren or an

[00:06:01.620 – 00:06:02.079] ambulance.

[00:06:02.079 – 00:06:06.459] But the– we always just wanted to go out and have a good time, and something happened.

[00:06:06.459 – 00:06:07.975] And that door thumped.

[00:06:07.975 – 00:06:11.774] When the door opened, it was the bass player, and he filled that whole room.

[00:06:11.774 – 00:06:21.875] And I got what is called a bum’s rush, where they used to grab you around here by the belt, and I made a nosedive landing outside that hotel in the mud

[00:06:21.875 – 00:06:22.896] and muck.

[00:06:22.896 – 00:06:25.776] And that to me was my alcoholism forever.

[00:06:25.776 – 00:06:33.795] I came to AA when I was 21 years old, and I hung around a little bit.

[00:06:33.795 – 00:06:34.915] My sister was here.

[00:06:34.915 – 00:06:35.896] She preceded me.

[00:06:35.896 – 00:06:37.336] She’s still sober.

[00:06:37.336 – 00:06:41.336] In my mid-20s, I got 17 months sobriety.

[00:06:41.336 – 00:06:48.115] And I took a drink one day thinking that I knew someone, and I went through two years of hell.

[00:06:48.115 – 00:06:58.276] And finally, I wonder how many times that, that Bill and Bob — we don’t know this, but, but that word bottom come up.

[00:06:58.276 – 00:07:00.795] And I know they used to talk about it a little bit.

[00:07:00.795 – 00:07:02.636] But I eventually hit mine.

[00:07:02.636 – 00:07:10.615] From a kid who had a lot of promise, who was a half-decent baseball player, all of a sudden, now I couldn’t drink anymore.

[00:07:10.615 – 00:07:11.776] I couldn’t get drunk.

[00:07:11.776 – 00:07:14.456] I couldn’t stay by myself.

[00:07:14.456 – 00:07:15.675] I was paranoid.

[00:07:15.675 – 00:07:17.735] This is before they used drugs.

[00:07:17.735 – 00:07:22.836] My mind was filled with resentment, anger.

[00:07:22.836 – 00:07:26.036] What, what happened to me?

[00:07:26.036 – 00:07:32.216] I was kind of figured a happy kid, and that’s the way booze handled me for those two years.

[00:07:32.216 – 00:07:42.235] And I think part of what we’re celebrating today is the love of the alcoholic and the love of the alcoholic sponsor

[00:07:42.235 – 00:07:44.076] for another alcoholic.

[00:07:44.076 – 00:07:47.795] And I ended up in the provincial hospital.

[00:07:47.795 – 00:07:49.915] There weren’t any treatment centers then.

[00:07:49.915 – 00:07:56.956] And my sponsor who had known me from the time I was 21, hadn’t given up on me.

[00:07:56.956 – 00:08:07.255] And he came into that hospital, and I remember I was in a receiving ward, and they were gonna either move you back into the hospital or let you go.

[00:08:07.255 – 00:08:10.776] And he didn’t have much time.

[00:08:10.776 – 00:08:16.115] And there must be somebody in your life that you remember doing this.

[00:08:16.115 – 00:08:20.855] Somebody had come up to you, and they looked you in the eye, and they said, “Don’t worry.

[00:08:20.855 – 00:08:21.875] You’re gonna be all right.

[00:08:21.875 – 00:08:25.855] Someday you’re gonna get back to AA again.

[00:08:25.855 – 00:08:29.055] Someday you’re gonna be able to love again.

[00:08:29.055 – 00:08:35.895] Someday you’re gonna be able to use your gifts and your talents again.” And that’s what they did.

[00:08:35.895 – 00:08:39.735] He didn’t stay long, and they left, and that was the beginning.

[00:08:39.735 – 00:08:44.056] When I got out of that hospital, I drank a little more, but eventually I came back.

[00:08:44.056 – 00:08:53.956] And in those early days in AA, we’d go to a lot of meetings in Detroit and Windsor, and I’d often go in the back of an old plumbing truck.

[00:08:53.956 – 00:09:04.076] And all the fittings would be rattling around, and we’d be arguing about the third step or the fourth step, and it, it, it was just a wonderful feeling.

[00:09:04.076 – 00:09:12.255] And every now and then, there’d be a flash of the, the guy Johnny McKinnon from Cape Breton, and you’d look over, and you’d just see his eyes.

[00:09:12.255 – 00:09:22.515] And, and, and Leonard, who’s still sober down there in Windsor, and, and, and Leonard was in the Reserve Army, and he’d always sometimes he’d wear an Army gray coat,

[00:09:22.515 – 00:09:24.895] and, and he’d be talking about the man upstairs.

[00:09:24.895 – 00:09:28.735] And, and these miracles were happening in places like that.

[00:09:28.735 – 00:09:32.316] There were miracles that happened in places in your life too.

[00:09:32.316 – 00:09:37.956] There was a time where in your own soul, there was an absence of hope.

[00:09:37.956 – 00:09:47.975] And these 12 steps that we celebrate, this great love of two alcoholics, one for another, that we celebrate in this place, in this place

[00:09:47.975 – 00:09:51.056] of beginning, and it happened there with you too.

[00:09:51.056 – 00:09:59.975] And slowly, the members of my group started to put things together, and they’d haul me over to the receiving hospital in Detroit to…

[00:09:59.975 – 00:10:09.995] And I’d go in there, and my sponsor’d say, “See, you’re not as bad as that fella.” I’d say, “But he’s catatonic.” He’d say, “Well, that’s all right, but you’re not as bad as he is.” You know,

[00:10:09.995 – 00:10:13.176] and eventually you start to feel a little bit better about yourself, you know?

[00:10:13.176 – 00:10:15.716] And you start to move along.

[00:10:15.716 – 00:10:20.155] But I’ll tell you, it’s been an incredible, incredible journey.

[00:10:20.155 – 00:10:29.895] And how often I think of this city, how often I think of this place, how often I think of that hotel lobby.

[00:10:29.895 – 00:10:39.076] And once, even in my first year of sobriety, I had to go into a, a psych ward because my emotions were just so raw.

[00:10:39.076 – 00:10:49.115] And I noticed the picture of Sister Ignatius, and, and there was a nun up there like Sister Ignatius who said, “You know, we can only do so much for

[00:10:49.115 – 00:10:55.556] you, but AA can do so much more for you.” We’re so lucky.

[00:10:55.556 – 00:10:59.456] We all, I know, feel gratitude tonight.

[00:10:59.456 – 00:11:09.515] But I think when they said in the book, and I think that it’s worth saying sometimes, that

[00:11:09.515 – 00:11:15.336] rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

[00:11:15.336 – 00:11:18.755] Don’t shove those words aside.

[00:11:18.755 – 00:11:21.796] They were true back in those days.

[00:11:21.796 – 00:11:30.936] I can say that 95, 96% of my original group lived a productive life and died sober.

[00:11:30.936 – 00:11:33.456] Families were restored.

[00:11:33.456 – 00:11:36.456] Grandchildren got to know their grandparents.

[00:11:36.456 – 00:11:37.816] You know?

[00:11:37.816 – 00:11:41.255] Brothers and sisters began to talk to each other.

[00:11:41.255 – 00:11:51.556] Children began to snuggle up on their mother’s lap or their daddy’s lap, and that’s the power that’s in these 12 steps that we celebrate tonight.

[00:11:51.556 – 00:11:54.416] And there was nothing within me.

[00:11:54.416 – 00:11:55.956] It was empty.

[00:11:55.956 – 00:12:06.475] It was as if there was an image of me, and you’d taken a big sledgehammer, and you smashed it, and it went in thousands of hundreds of thousands

[00:12:06.475 – 00:12:07.456] of shreds.

[00:12:07.456 – 00:12:09.831] And you took the time.

[00:12:09.831 – 00:12:13.871] You didn’t do it with me maybe, but you do it in your own group.

[00:12:13.871 – 00:12:22.672] You took the time to find those little pieces and to put them back together tonight, and that’s what we’re celebrating.

[00:12:22.672 – 00:12:26.431] What was different about AA then?

[00:12:26.431 – 00:12:27.101] Wasn’t it Dr.

[00:12:27.101 – 00:12:37.192] Bob, who when he was asked to define Alcoholics Anonymous in its simplest terms, he said, “I think it’s love, and I think

[00:12:37.192 – 00:12:47.451] it’s service.” And each person in this room tonight has enough love and enough warmth to share

[00:12:47.451 – 00:12:49.892] that this program will not flag.

[00:12:49.892 – 00:12:52.351] It will not fail.

[00:12:52.351 – 00:13:02.631] If people like me, who at times shrink from doing the generous thing, if each of us are willing as, as

[00:13:02.631 – 00:13:09.432] Bill was to look for the other alcoholic, these rooms will always be filled.

[00:13:09.432 – 00:13:18.611] And as long as these rooms are filled, people like myself and maybe yourself who had no hope will find hope.

[00:13:18.611 – 00:13:25.072] People like yourself, maybe like me, who had no love, will find love.

[00:13:25.072 – 00:13:30.131] I could run my five little granddaughters up here, and they’d just thrill you to see them.

[00:13:30.131 – 00:13:40.272] And at age 27, I don’t think there was a doctor or a medical professor in the world who said that I had

[00:13:40.272 – 00:13:41.371] any kind of future.

[00:13:41.371 – 00:13:47.692] I thank you for your generosity, for coming to your meeting, for coming to this gathering.

[00:13:47.692 – 00:13:53.652] Because of you, I have a lifeline to hope and to love and to service.

[00:13:53.652 – 00:13:54.371] Thank you.

[00:13:54.371 – 00:14:27.272] Thanks,

[00:14:27.272 – 00:14:27.751] John.

[00:14:27.751 – 00:14:37.812] This here next man, he’s got a — He’s about a month short of 42

[00:14:37.812 – 00:14:39.692] years, so he’s still got 41.

[00:14:39.692 – 00:14:49.711] And I would be willing to bet you $5 to a donut that he probably knows 75% of the

[00:14:49.711 – 00:14:50.591] people that’s here.

[00:14:50.591 – 00:14:53.552] Harry’s that bad penny to me.

[00:14:53.552 – 00:14:56.812] I can go anywhere, and I’m gonna run into Harry somewhere or the other.

[00:14:56.812 – 00:15:04.432] Harry’s another one that’s got his sobriety here, got his sobriety here in Ohio, but he don’t want to admit it today.

[00:15:04.432 – 00:15:09.831] He told me today that he couldn’t stand the winters in Ohio.

[00:15:09.831 – 00:15:14.851] So I’m gonna let Harry tell you what it was like when he came in.

[00:15:14.851 – 00:15:16.270] I give you now Harry Payne.

[00:15:16.270 – 00:15:27.351] I’m

[00:15:27.351 – 00:15:28.572] Harry, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:15:28.572 – 00:15:28.851] Hi, Harry.

[00:15:28.851 – 00:15:31.802] Matter of fact, I’m a very good…

[00:15:32.170 – 00:15:33.150] Grateful alcoholic.

[00:15:33.150 – 00:15:35.530] Grateful to be here.

[00:15:35.530 – 00:15:39.610] Always grateful to be at Founders’ Day.

[00:15:39.610 – 00:15:49.650] And I’m a little overwhelmed right now, and I’m not really overwhelmed with the spirit that I

[00:15:49.650 – 00:15:58.790] normally would be if I was getting up with a bunch of friends like you to talk, but when Jim was talking about his sponsor, John Monovan.

[00:15:58.790 – 00:16:04.850] John and I have known for over a year that we were gonna speak at this Oldtimers meeting.

[00:16:04.850 – 00:16:15.310] So through this year, we’ve talked often on the phone and everything, and John has shared a lot of his thoughts and things on

[00:16:15.310 – 00:16:19.250] what we would say and sort of combined what we would say.

[00:16:19.250 – 00:16:26.350] And John had the theory that people don’t come to an Oldtimers meeting to hear another drunk-a-log.

[00:16:26.350 – 00:16:36.709] His, his theory was that you come here to hear who the old-timers met, what they heard,

[00:16:36.709 – 00:16:41.470] and how they’ve continued to maintain sobriety.

[00:16:41.470 – 00:16:52.770] So one of the things that Jim didn’t share to you about him, and this is very important, I hope you’ll bear with me on this, but I

[00:16:52.770 – 00:17:02.790] got a call from John about six weeks ago, and John told me, he said, “Harry,” he said, um, “I won’t

[00:17:02.790 – 00:17:11.130] be with you in Akron.” I said, “Why not, John?” He says, “Well,” he said, “I’m waiting– I’m in a hospital.

[00:17:11.130 – 00:17:21.470] I’ve been having, uh, some congestive heart failure, and I’m waiting on them to take me to a hospice.” And I said, “A hospice,

[00:17:21.470 – 00:17:21.790] John?

[00:17:21.790 – 00:17:31.940] That has certain implications.” And he said, “Well, Harry,” he says, uh, “the doctors want me to take an operation that

[00:17:31.940 – 00:17:42.330] I’m just not gonna take.” He said, “They wanna operate on me, and then I’ll be tied up with a bunch of tubes and carrying around things, and I’ve had a good life, forty-some

[00:17:42.330 – 00:17:48.429] years in AA, and I’m just not gonna do it.” And, uh, I was impressed.

[00:17:48.429 – 00:17:51.390] When I get ready to go, I wanna feel like John.

[00:17:51.390 – 00:18:01.310] But you know, two days ago, my wife and I were in Columbus coming back from the meeting, and I got a phone call from John.

[00:18:01.310 – 00:18:11.410] And John told me, he said, uh, “Harry, I’m leaving the hospice soon.” And I said, “John, people

[00:18:11.410 – 00:18:18.950] always leave the hospice.” Where are you going when you leave the hospice?

[00:18:18.950 – 00:18:23.630] And he told me he was going to a regular hospital.

[00:18:23.630 – 00:18:34.790] And he told me all the things that they told him that would happen if he didn’t get that operation hadn’t

[00:18:34.790 – 00:18:41.370] happened, and all the things they said wouldn’t happen has happened.

[00:18:41.370 – 00:18:50.670] So I wish sometimes that, uh, when you having your next prayer that you remember John Monovan in those prayers.

[00:18:50.670 – 00:19:00.890] Because every meeting I go to, I always mention John because I wanna not only live like John’s lived for these

[00:19:00.890 – 00:19:05.950] last forty-some years, I’d like to go out like John was prepared to do.

[00:19:05.950 – 00:19:11.070] So remember John in your prayers and, and, uh, think of us here.

[00:19:11.070 – 00:19:22.150] I was fortunate enough to be introduced to this program on June the thirtieth, nineteen

[00:19:22.150 – 00:19:22.930] sixty-two.

[00:19:22.930 – 00:19:27.590] And Jim’s right, I only got forty-one years.

[00:19:27.590 – 00:19:34.530] My original sponsor, if I said I had almost forty-two, he’d turn over in his grave.

[00:19:34.530 – 00:19:36.290] You know.

[00:19:36.290 – 00:19:41.770] He wouldn’t even let us celebrate a day early, you know.

[00:19:41.770 – 00:19:50.369] “You don’t have it yet, Harry.” And I really appreciate all the old-timers.

[00:19:50.369 – 00:19:56.710] My sponsor was the first Black guy that, that got sober in Columbus, Ohio.

[00:19:56.710 – 00:20:04.150] And after he died, I was sponsored by the second one, Charlie Wilburn and Bob Goins.

[00:20:04.150 – 00:20:10.910] And they simplified to me some of the miracles of this program.

[00:20:10.910 – 00:20:21.010] You know, we’re here today in Akron celebrating Founders’ Day, and we look back at the miracle of who was

[00:20:21.010 – 00:20:21.990] our founders.

[00:20:21.990 – 00:20:25.850] We had a almost honest stockbroker.

[00:20:25.850 – 00:20:31.490] And a doctor that took care of the other end.

[00:20:31.490 – 00:20:38.770] Now, what in the world would them qualify to start something like this?

[00:20:38.770 – 00:20:45.650] And it’s the same with my people in my home group that started my home group.

[00:20:45.650 – 00:20:52.050] Charlie was a sometime employed maintenance man.

[00:20:52.050 – 00:20:58.390] And Bob, when he came in the program, he didn’t even own a pair of shoes.

[00:20:58.390 – 00:21:08.390] But when these guys died, they were two of the most respected people in the world, and how much so

[00:21:08.390 – 00:21:10.650] many of us have learnt from them.

[00:21:10.650 – 00:21:20.730] Founders’ Day itself has a lot of significance to me because, uh, I should probably share

[00:21:20.730 – 00:21:24.670] with you that I’ve made all but two Founders’ Days since I’ve been sober.

[00:21:24.670 – 00:21:28.990] And that might impress you, but it impresses me.

[00:21:28.990 – 00:21:39.002] And I remember coming up from Columbus that first one, and

[00:21:39.002 – 00:21:47.802] at that time, I-71 only ran from mu- uh, Morris Road in Columbus to Route 18.

[00:21:47.802 – 00:21:58.262] And I remember coming up here, and I remember Charlie and Bob telling me that, uh, I was gonna meet a lot of interesting people here and a lot of old-timers.

[00:21:58.262 – 00:22:08.262] And he told me, he said, “Harry, if you come back next year, you’re gonna meet those people and some more.” And he

[00:22:08.262 – 00:22:12.802] told me there’s a message there, and they clarified the message.

[00:22:12.802 – 00:22:23.042] The message was that the people who was gonna be here are the people that’s been putting in and getting something out of this program, and that’s been my experience

[00:22:23.042 – 00:22:25.822] until now these last 40-some years.

[00:22:25.822 – 00:22:36.542] I encourage a lot of people to come here because one of the other things they said to me that day in the car, they

[00:22:36.542 – 00:22:46.642] said to me that regardless of how many years you’ve been around this program, when you attend one of these events, it’ll raise your

[00:22:46.642 – 00:22:47.822] level of sobriety.

[00:22:47.822 – 00:22:50.722] And I was impressed.

[00:22:50.722 – 00:22:52.682] I was impressed.

[00:22:52.682 – 00:23:02.262] Since we’ve been here, I’ve talked to a lot of people, a lot of old-timers, and I’ve got so many things rattling my– around in my mind.

[00:23:02.262 – 00:23:04.062] It’s a little hard to cover in 20 minutes.

[00:23:04.062 – 00:23:06.812] You’re gonna do it though, Harry.

[00:23:06.812 – 00:23:08.542] Jim said I’m gonna do it.

[00:23:08.542 – 00:23:11.182] You’re gonna give me a highlight, uh, Jim, before it’s over?

[00:23:11.182 – 00:23:11.232] Sure.

[00:23:11.232 – 00:23:11.582] Okay.

[00:23:11.582 – 00:23:13.282] All right.

[00:23:13.282 – 00:23:20.762] You know, when I came that first Founders’ Day, it wa- it was only a Sunday morning breakfast meeting.

[00:23:20.762 – 00:23:25.322] And a lot of the old-timers was there.

[00:23:25.322 – 00:23:26.842] Bill Wilson was there.

[00:23:26.842 – 00:23:31.022] Uh, Henrietta Seiberling was there.

[00:23:31.022 – 00:23:36.962] Her son John had brought her there, and just a whole bunch of old-timers.

[00:23:36.962 – 00:23:47.202] And, uh, being Black, I was impressed too because I met a lot of the first Blacks in this program, as lear- as

[00:23:47.202 – 00:23:49.922] well as a lot of the first people in this program, period.

[00:23:49.922 – 00:23:58.282] But about the third guy that got sober, Black guy that got sober here in Akron, was a guy named Ed Bledsoe.

[00:23:58.282 – 00:24:04.222] And Ed’s wife, Cora, used to start cooking the week before.

[00:24:04.222 – 00:24:13.602] And after we had that breakfast, that was over about noontime, Bill Wilson and everybody else went out to their home.

[00:24:13.602 – 00:24:21.782] And they were there, I don’t know how long they stayed because I usually had to leave 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning to go back to Columbus.

[00:24:21.782 – 00:24:26.762] But I learned so much from those guys.

[00:24:26.762 – 00:24:28.582] I learned so much.

[00:24:28.582 – 00:24:38.982] And I was sharing with Jim something else too that impressed me, and we were talking about these old-timers by name, and they had came in anywhere

[00:24:38.982 – 00:24:42.842] from, from, uh, ’35, ’39.

[00:24:42.842 – 00:24:48.562] And one thing impressed me with them was they all had Cadillacs.

[00:24:48.562 – 00:24:53.622] Now, if you want what we have…

[00:24:53.622 – 00:25:02.642] I was impressed.

[00:25:02.642 – 00:25:06.342] Came back the next year.

[00:25:06.342 – 00:25:08.802] They were here.

[00:25:08.802 – 00:25:11.562] They had new Cadillacs.

[00:25:11.562 – 00:25:15.782] And I learned more.

[00:25:15.782 – 00:25:25.782] You know, when I came to this program myself, it may surprise you, but I didn’t have too

[00:25:25.782 – 00:25:26.862] much going for me.

[00:25:26.862 – 00:25:34.702] On my job, I worked at the United States Post Office as a window clerk.

[00:25:34.702 – 00:25:44.742] And right before I got here, I had the assistant postmaster in Columbus come out to m- the station where I worked, and he

[00:25:44.742 – 00:25:49.862] told me that he knew my date of hire and my estimated date of fire.

[00:25:49.862 – 00:25:55.342] Now, that’ll tell you where I stood on the job.

[00:25:55.342 – 00:26:04.822] My wife, my wife had got to the point where she just accepted certain things.

[00:26:04.822 – 00:26:09.362] My paycheck went directly to the bank, so I was tolerable.

[00:26:09.362 – 00:26:17.842] I know sometimes I would come home real tired in the mornings and have a tendency to maybe lay down on the front porch.

[00:26:17.842 – 00:26:24.202] And I’d reached the point where she would just step over me.

[00:26:24.202 – 00:26:34.242] Now, I have to clarify that because I’ve seen times that when I’d wake up on the front porch, the thing I was most

[00:26:34.242 – 00:26:41.502] curious about was why my wife used to buy bad brooms that left straw all over the porch.

[00:26:41.502 – 00:26:46.602] It was years before I found out what caused the straw on the porch.

[00:26:46.602 – 00:26:56.202] I should also tell you that, that, uh, I retired from the post office.

[00:26:56.202 – 00:27:04.502] And through the miracle of you people in this program, I retired as postmaster, and that’s no easy feat.

[00:27:04.502 – 00:27:12.462] Yeah.

[00:27:12.462 – 00:27:12.492] Yeah.

[00:27:12.492 – 00:27:22.542] But the important thing is too, one of the, one of the other things I should tell you too is that, um, besides the problem I was having on the job, I was having a pr- few health

[00:27:22.542 – 00:27:23.182] problems.

[00:27:23.182 – 00:27:28.482] I had a doctor that told me I had pancreatitis.

[00:27:28.482 – 00:27:32.242] If anyone’s familiar with that, you know it’s pretty painful.

[00:27:32.242 – 00:27:38.822] And I remember him telling me that if I didn’t stop drinking, I’d be dead in six months.

[00:27:38.822 – 00:27:41.180] Boy, that frightened me.

[00:27:41.180 – 00:27:45.570] That scared all the– I didn’t drink for three days, you know?

[00:27:45.570 – 00:27:55.570] But one of the biggest things that brought me to this program, though, was that

[00:27:55.570 – 00:27:58.870] I got just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

[00:27:58.870 – 00:28:08.630] I just got sick and tired of always explaining away things, always apologizing for things, and that’s why I got here.

[00:28:08.630 – 00:28:12.670] Now, you talk about the, the old-timers.

[00:28:12.670 – 00:28:23.190] Uh, John, in our conversations, as we talked about coming here, John said that there was–

[00:28:23.190 – 00:28:26.010] that we were third generation AAs.

[00:28:26.010 – 00:28:33.390] He said there was the pioneers, there was the old-timers, and then there was us.

[00:28:33.390 – 00:28:44.169] And we shared a lot of the times that we had, had met with the old-timers and, and, um, we

[00:28:44.169 – 00:28:51.890] talked once about Bill Wilson and, and some of the times that we had seen and heard him.

[00:28:51.890 – 00:29:02.049] And my wife has a tendency to remind me sometimes when I’m talking to someone and they didn’t hear Bill say something or other, to remind me

[00:29:02.110 – 00:29:03.310] how long he’s been dead.

[00:29:03.310 – 00:29:13.350] But I remember once I was up at Bar Harbor, Maine, and I’d been going to some meetings

[00:29:13.350 – 00:29:23.570] up there and, and the guy that sort of ran the meeting, he told me that Bill would be up Saturday afternoon,

[00:29:23.570 – 00:29:25.910] and this was Friday night when the meeting was.

[00:29:25.910 – 00:29:30.270] And there was a guy up there that was a…

[00:29:30.270 – 00:29:37.890] Worked for Reynolds Aluminum, was an executive from Reynolds Aluminum, and his name was Bill.

[00:29:37.890 – 00:29:41.120] And most of the places up along there in the St.

[00:29:41.120 – 00:29:44.690] Lawrence River, most of the people got sober up there.

[00:29:44.690 – 00:29:46.430] He carried the message to them.

[00:29:46.430 – 00:29:51.610] But he himself, I don’t think ever got two years of sobriety.

[00:29:51.610 – 00:29:59.509] And so I felt when they said he was coming over, since we had discussed it the night before, I thought that’s who was coming over.

[00:29:59.509 – 00:30:04.610] But we went down to the train station.

[00:30:04.610 – 00:30:14.610] Train station happened to be a track, and they pull up, and a guy throws a footstool down, and out came some long,

[00:30:14.610 – 00:30:18.250] lanky guy and it was Bill W.

[00:30:18.250 – 00:30:28.690] And you know, we had the whole afternoon, and that night we were down in this guy’s basement, and I wasn’t–

[00:30:28.690 – 00:30:32.290] I was sitting in an overstuffed chair, and Bill was sitting on the couch there.

[00:30:32.290 – 00:30:35.250] And I had heard Bill here in Akron.

[00:30:35.250 – 00:30:37.790] I’d heard him several times.

[00:30:37.790 – 00:30:39.470] I read all these things.

[00:30:39.470 – 00:30:46.890] But that night I listened to him and I, I had great revelations.

[00:30:46.890 – 00:30:53.150] For instance, I heard him talk about the experience that he had in Towns Hospital.

[00:30:53.150 – 00:31:03.270] And as he talked, I realized that I and a lot of other people never really realized the depth

[00:31:03.270 – 00:31:03.800] of that story

[00:31:04.065 – 00:31:05.465] experience that we had.

[00:31:05.465 – 00:31:10.705] Think we looked at it pretty lightly, but that night it sort of sunk in.

[00:31:10.705 – 00:31:20.705] And I learned a lots of, uh, historical things from the talk that night because I learned, for instance, that although I sort

[00:31:20.705 – 00:31:30.325] of thought from all the things I had heard that he had stayed sober after that, I found out that was not his last drink, and he covered that.

[00:31:30.325 – 00:31:35.765] And he covered a lot of the, the, the, the different things.

[00:31:35.765 – 00:31:46.965] One of the things that he talked about that, that, uh, is fresh on my mind because we just talked about that last night was

[00:31:46.965 – 00:31:57.425] the fact that, um, he talked about the twelve and twelve, and talked about that the twelve and twelve was intended to keep this program inclusive

[00:31:57.425 – 00:32:03.545] and not exclusive, and that we all should be aware of that and be aware of keeping it.

[00:32:03.545 – 00:32:07.885] And I’m so happy to be here, and thanks for listening to me.

[00:32:07.885 – 00:32:29.585] Thank

[00:32:29.585 – 00:32:30.205] you, Harry.

[00:32:30.205 – 00:32:40.145] And as, and if there is any of you that want to hear the rest of that story, get to your chair and sit Harry down, and I’m sure he’ll tell you.

[00:32:40.145 – 00:32:45.905] Now we’re gonna get to the rose of the group.

[00:32:45.905 – 00:32:55.945] This young lady had a panel at the Buffalo conference last year, and I went in and I listened to

[00:32:55.945 – 00:32:57.345] the old-timers panel.

[00:32:57.345 – 00:33:03.045] And I listened to these three guys get up there and share, and she was the moderator.

[00:33:03.045 – 00:33:13.155] So after the panel was over, I got up and I went up and I was going over to talk to some of the guys, and she got between us some

[00:33:13.155 – 00:33:18.025] way and I stood there and I was talking to her, and I talked to her maybe four or five minutes.

[00:33:18.025 – 00:33:28.285] In the excitement of listening to her and hearing her talk, I said I wasn’t gonna ask the guys, I was gonna ask her

[00:33:28.285 – 00:33:31.105] to come to this — to come and be on a panel.

[00:33:31.105 – 00:33:38.155] She’s…

[00:33:38.155 – 00:33:42.905] She is the oldest person in sobriety on the panel.

[00:33:42.905 – 00:33:45.205] From St.

[00:33:45.205 – 00:33:47.965] Catharines, Ontario, I give you Joy P.

[00:33:47.965 – 00:33:50.745] with fifty years of sobriety.

[00:33:50.745 – 00:34:10.765] Hello,

[00:34:10.765 – 00:34:11.585] friends.

[00:34:11.585 – 00:34:16.465] My name is Joy, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:34:16.465 – 00:34:16.725] Hi, Joy.

[00:34:16.725 – 00:34:24.765] The last time I was in a room with this many people, there was a hockey game going on.

[00:34:24.765 – 00:34:34.905] Well, the score so far is two for AA and nothing

[00:34:34.905 – 00:34:36.285] for alcohol.

[00:34:36.285 – 00:34:46.185] And I am going to try to make this a shutout.

[00:34:46.185 – 00:34:56.445] It is indeed a privilege and an honor to take part

[00:34:56.445 – 00:35:02.965] in this occasion, the sixty-ninth years of AA.

[00:35:02.965 – 00:35:09.145] And what a God-given program it is, and how it has survived.

[00:35:09.145 – 00:35:18.625] And we are the recipients.

[00:35:18.625 – 00:35:27.765] And with absolute gratitude, everyone here can just applaud for this program.

[00:35:27.765 – 00:35:32.435] And as I say, I am eternally grateful for it.

[00:35:32.435 – 00:35:33.845] It saved my life.

[00:35:33.845 – 00:35:44.565] And alcohol, when it comes into your life, it represents

[00:35:44.565 – 00:35:47.525] the answer to all your problems.

[00:35:47.525 – 00:35:51.085] To me, it was my friends.

[00:35:51.085 – 00:35:53.865] It made me feel normal.

[00:35:53.865 – 00:35:56.345] It made me feel good.

[00:35:56.345 – 00:36:03.465] And after a while, it became my lover, my companion.

[00:36:03.465 – 00:36:09.905] It was the most important aspect of my life.

[00:36:09.905 – 00:36:18.525] And then eventually it became the dictator, the robber.

[00:36:18.525 – 00:36:28.605] It took everything from me, even my ability to make a decision as to what I was going to do with my

[00:36:28.605 – 00:36:29.265] days.

[00:36:29.265 – 00:36:36.645] And in the end, if it weren’t for AA, it would have become my executioner.

[00:36:36.645 – 00:36:43.845] Because an alcoholic, if they don’t sober up, they die.

[00:36:43.845 – 00:36:50.925] Alcohol is a killer, cunning, baffling, and powerful.

[00:36:50.925 – 00:36:55.865] You go to your doctor, they…

[00:36:55.865 – 00:36:58.125] their hands are tied.

[00:36:58.125 – 00:37:09.049] They don’t know how to treat a disease that affects body, mind, soul, and spirit You go to a psychiatrist,

[00:37:09.049 – 00:37:11.089] their hands are tied.

[00:37:11.089 – 00:37:13.748] They don’t know what to do.

[00:37:13.748 – 00:37:21.909] You go to your minister, he gives you a piece of paper to sign, a pledge not to drink.

[00:37:21.909 – 00:37:27.249] That is no cure for a fatal disease.

[00:37:27.249 – 00:37:34.869] But God, in His wisdom, through Bill Wilson and B- Dr.

[00:37:34.869 – 00:37:40.809] Bob, they instituted this program that fits us like a glove.

[00:37:40.809 – 00:37:46.669] It has the answer for us where no one else did.

[00:37:46.669 – 00:37:56.709] And we are the recipients and the benefactors of that wonderful God-given

[00:37:56.709 – 00:37:57.909] gift.

[00:37:57.909 – 00:38:05.129] And you know, we may have done all sorts of bad things.

[00:38:05.129 – 00:38:06.849] I know I did.

[00:38:06.849 – 00:38:17.449] But I have to forgive myself and go on and be the best person I can be for this day,

[00:38:17.449 – 00:38:21.249] because this program says one day at a time.

[00:38:21.249 – 00:38:31.369] Follow the steps, and especially that third step, to give your will and your life over to the care

[00:38:31.369 – 00:38:31.989] of God.

[00:38:31.989 – 00:38:40.269] That is a difficult step to take, but it is an essential step.

[00:38:40.269 – 00:38:46.809] I know since I’ve been sober, life goes on.

[00:38:46.809 – 00:38:57.049] It hands, hands you rough things to face, and one of the roughest things I’ve had to face in my sobriety

[00:38:57.049 – 00:39:01.109] was the end of my 32-year marriage.

[00:39:01.109 – 00:39:11.109] And I w- I had been sober for many years when this happened, and I thought I was going

[00:39:11.109 – 00:39:18.249] to die with the grief that I had in my heart because of my broken marriage.

[00:39:18.249 – 00:39:28.269] And the day that I signed the final decree, I went out on my balcony, and I was on the fifth floor,

[00:39:28.269 – 00:39:38.809] and I thought, “If only I lean over a little bit too far, I could stop this hurt.” And

[00:39:38.809 – 00:39:47.949] I thought, “No, I cannot do that to my children.” So I went back into my living room, and I saw my liquor cabinet.

[00:39:47.949 – 00:39:56.849] And I knew it was full of alcohol because I served it to my guests.

[00:39:56.849 – 00:40:05.449] But you know, I thought I could take that bottle of rye that’s in there and drink it and stop the hurt.

[00:40:05.449 – 00:40:15.569] But I said, “No, I cannot do that to the God that has given me this gift of sobriety.” And I

[00:40:15.569 – 00:40:25.629] went on my knees and I said, “Please, God, You’re gonna have to show me in some way that You’re gonna see me through this rough time.” And it was

[00:40:25.629 – 00:40:36.869] if I heard in my heart, “How do you want me to show you?” And I thought, “I wanna hear Amazing Grace sometime today, and I will take that as

[00:40:36.869 – 00:40:42.789] Your assurance that You’re going to see me through this rough time.” And I left that.

[00:40:42.789 – 00:40:52.829] I got up and went into the kitchen, started to wash my dishes, and I had a little radio on the table within reach,

[00:40:52.829 – 00:40:56.029] and all of a sudden it went silent.

[00:40:56.029 – 00:41:01.989] And I reached over to change the channel, and I hear this male voice come over.

[00:41:01.989 – 00:41:05.089] Amazing Grace.

[00:41:05.089 – 00:41:09.529] See, that was 10 seconds after I asked for the sign.

[00:41:09.529 – 00:41:19.649] Now, there is a God that heard the cry of a desperate woman and was there, and that’s the kind of a God that

[00:41:19.649 – 00:41:25.409] is our higher power in AA, a loving God that knows our needs.

[00:41:25.409 – 00:41:35.429] And you know, we have to fight against the illusion of immunity, because we

[00:41:35.429 – 00:41:37.369] do not have immunity.

[00:41:37.369 – 00:41:41.949] We have sobriety one day at a time.

[00:41:41.949 – 00:41:51.989] But if we get off the program or if we veer away, stop going to meetings, stop talking to our sponsor,

[00:41:51.989 – 00:41:56.049] and stop asking for help, we’re in danger.

[00:41:56.049 – 00:42:08.009] Somebody asked me just before I came up here, “After all these years, do you still have to attend meetings?” Oh,

[00:42:08.009 – 00:42:08.689] yes.

[00:42:08.689 – 00:42:10.769] Oh, yes.

[00:42:10.769 – 00:42:14.929] Two or three, sometimes four a week.

[00:42:14.929 – 00:42:23.729] And I enjoy every one, and I need every one, because it’s my life.

[00:42:23.729 – 00:42:33.809] Without this program, I would die, because God gives me this gift one day at

[00:42:33.809 – 00:42:34.589] a time.

[00:42:34.589 – 00:42:43.589] And I know how we find our way in here is a miracle in itself.

[00:42:43.589 – 00:42:48.789] I think somebody prayed for me.

[00:42:48.789 – 00:42:50.549] I know I had a praying mother.

[00:42:50.549 – 00:42:59.489] Somebody prayed for you, because God heard that prayer, and you were guided here.

[00:42:59.489 – 00:43:03.889] I don’t think any one of us in this room came of our own volition.

[00:43:03.889 – 00:43:11.609] I think we were brought here by God, and I think we are kept here by God.

[00:43:11.609 – 00:43:21.785] And we have the assurance really from Him that if we stay close to this program, He will stay

[00:43:21.785 – 00:43:25.225] close to us for our entire life.

[00:43:25.225 – 00:43:29.905] This is a promise, and you can take it.

[00:43:29.905 – 00:43:42.165] I

[00:43:42.165 – 00:43:54.305] don’t know anything more I can tell you except the evidence of the three of us that spoke on this panel is, uh, absolute

[00:43:54.305 – 00:44:00.305] truth that this program is not just a quick fix.

[00:44:00.305 – 00:44:07.425] You don’t come here to get your job back, to get your girlfriend back or your husband back.

[00:44:07.425 – 00:44:17.485] This is a program that is a way of life that keeps on going, and there is

[00:44:17.485 – 00:44:27.885] a power that will help us face anything that life has to offer if only we have the faith to just,

[00:44:27.885 – 00:44:36.225] uh, commit everything that we cannot handle ourselves to God who can handle everything.

[00:44:36.225 – 00:44:41.845] And I just wanna leave you with one thought, that God loves you.

[00:44:41.845 – 00:44:46.945] I need you, and you need me.

[00:44:46.945 – 00:44:51.585] We need each other, and this is the way it works, hand in hand.

[00:44:51.585 – 00:44:54.545] And take God’s hands with you.

[00:44:54.545 – 00:44:55.785] God bless you all.

[00:44:55.785 – 00:45:11.005] Thank

[00:45:11.005 – 00:45:11.135] you.

[00:45:11.135 – 00:45:12.225] We finished on time?

[00:45:12.225 – 00:45:12.235] Yep.

[00:45:12.235 – 00:45:12.485] Huh?

[00:45:12.485 – 00:45:13.425] We finished on time.

[00:45:13.425 – 00:45:14.185] Oh, yeah.

[00:45:14.185 – 00:45:15.885] We did.

[00:45:15.885 – 00:45:30.865] They

[00:45:30.865 – 00:45:31.965] did all right, didn’t they?

[00:45:31.965 – 00:45:42.585] You

[00:45:42.585 – 00:45:44.085] know, that’s what it’s all about.

[00:45:44.085 – 00:45:54.105] As I keep trudging this road, following people like that, I hope that I will always enjoy

[00:45:54.105 – 00:45:55.885] this thing of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:45:55.885 – 00:45:58.085] I want to thank all three of you.

[00:45:58.085 – 00:46:14.565] Thank

[00:46:14.565 – 00:46:14.825] you.

[00:46:14.825 – 00:46:17.325] Let’s give them a big hand.

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