[00:00:00.140 – 00:00:01.540] Elena and, uh, Donna.

[00:00:01.540 – 00:00:09.480] Now then, I haven’t, uh, heard all of these panelists.

[00:00:09.480 – 00:00:10.000] I’ve heard…

[00:00:10.000 – 00:00:13.210] Well, I won’t tell you, but, uh- …

[00:00:13.210 – 00:00:18.800] I’m looking forward to hearing each of them for the first time or the whatever time.

[00:00:18.800 – 00:00:19.940] Yeah.

[00:00:19.940 – 00:00:25.980] We’re in for a treat, I think.

[00:00:25.980 – 00:00:35.179] I wanna tell you, too, that, uh, we counted up the years and, you know, women don’t like to tell you their a- this ain’t their age.

[00:00:35.179 – 00:00:45.109] Uh, among the panelists and myself, we’ve got a, a total of 125 years of sobriety- …

[00:00:45.109 – 00:00:46.098] uh, up here.

[00:00:46.098 – 00:00:54.219] And if you add the readers in, that don’t drag the average down either.

[00:00:54.219 – 00:00:59.759] Uh, that’s another 61 years, for a total of 186 years, so.

[00:00:59.759 – 00:01:10.000] We talked about what order to go in, and, uh, we decided to go in the,

[00:01:10.000 – 00:01:11.900] the same order that they’re in the bulletin.

[00:01:11.900 – 00:01:15.799] Julie’s gonna go first, and then Babs, and then Greg.

[00:01:15.799 – 00:01:20.259] So with that, uh, I give you Julie.

[00:01:20.259 – 00:01:30.140] My name is Julie Cook, and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:01:30.140 – 00:01:31.150] Hi, Julie.

[00:01:31.150 – 00:01:31.599] Hi, everybody.

[00:01:31.599 – 00:01:32.709] It’s good to be here.

[00:01:32.709 – 00:01:42.939] My sobriety date is March, uh, 23rd, 1982, and I’m a member of the, uh, Millbrook Step Study Group that meets on Monday

[00:01:42.939 – 00:01:44.659] nights in Raleigh, North Carolina.

[00:01:44.659 – 00:01:49.799] Um, let’s see.

[00:01:49.799 – 00:01:51.000] I have a sponsor.

[00:01:51.000 – 00:01:57.799] My sponsor has a sponsor, and I sponsor some women, which just adds to my sobriety.

[00:01:57.799 – 00:02:06.620] Uh, the disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful, and it’s also a family disease.

[00:02:06.620 – 00:02:09.560] Everyone in the family is affected.

[00:02:09.560 – 00:02:15.020] Uh, in my particular family, my father, I know today, was an alcoholic.

[00:02:15.020 – 00:02:18.460] He, w- I wish he could have found AA.

[00:02:18.460 – 00:02:28.620] He was, he was a dear, sweet man, and I loved him, but he took his own life because of this disease, because he, he didn’t

[00:02:28.620 – 00:02:30.219] know how else, what else to do.

[00:02:30.219 – 00:02:32.020] I mean, his life was so miserable.

[00:02:32.020 – 00:02:42.520] Um, that was, that was a real shocking and sad thing for all of us in the family, and, uh, it’s,

[00:02:42.520 – 00:02:46.580] you know, I still today wish that I had spent more time with him.

[00:02:46.580 – 00:02:56.259] And in my family, uh, I, I’m, I have three chi– four children, and out of the four children, three are alcoholics.

[00:02:56.259 – 00:03:01.800] And as I said, everyone in the family is affected in one way or another.

[00:03:01.800 – 00:03:08.659] When I started drinking, it was actually by accident.

[00:03:08.659 – 00:03:13.919] Um, I was raised very religiously by my mother, and we just never…

[00:03:13.919 – 00:03:17.199] Uh, thought of drinking just never occurred to any of us.

[00:03:17.199 – 00:03:27.240] But one day, I was out with a friend, and her, her boyfriend, and then another guy was there, and they said, “Let’s go to the beer joint.” So

[00:03:27.240 – 00:03:37.259] we went to a beer joint, and we ordered beers, and, uh, I chugga-lugged about, I don’t know, three or four or five beers and, uh, of

[00:03:37.259 – 00:03:40.519] course, of course, I didn’t like the taste, so I chugga-lugged.

[00:03:40.519 – 00:03:44.599] But I got but I got high as a kite.

[00:03:44.599 – 00:03:47.740] And I truly, I loved that feeling.

[00:03:47.740 – 00:03:57.419] You know, we rode down the street in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and, uh, I just, you know, hung out the window- …

[00:03:57.419 – 00:04:02.060] laughing and hollering at everybody, and, uh, and it was fun.

[00:04:02.060 – 00:04:12.099] Now, I, I can’t, I, I didn’t drink right away after then, but when the time came, uh, for me to– someone offered me a

[00:04:12.099 – 00:04:13.159] drink, I took it.

[00:04:13.159 – 00:04:22.279] And, uh, I spent many, many times, uh, drinking and with friends who were drinking.

[00:04:22.279 – 00:04:27.819] And, uh, you know, I didn’t have any repercussions for a long, long time.

[00:04:27.819 – 00:04:38.000] But I met my first husband in a beer joint, of course, and, uh, we were married after about six months, and all we ever did

[00:04:38.000 – 00:04:39.279] together was drink.

[00:04:39.279 – 00:04:44.420] I mean, there was nothing else in the relationship but alcohol.

[00:04:44.420 – 00:04:54.740] And there were four children born in this marriage, and, um, uh, as I said, three of them are alcoholic

[00:04:54.740 – 00:04:59.980] and the, and the other me- other child, uh, needed some help in other ways.

[00:04:59.980 – 00:05:05.720] Drinking just became a part of our life.

[00:05:05.720 – 00:05:14.920] I mean, it was drinking after work, it was drinking through the night, uh, drinking in the morning if we felt we needed it.

[00:05:14.920 – 00:05:25.519] And the, the saddest thing, almost the saddest thing about my alcoholism was I abandoned my children.

[00:05:25.519 – 00:05:28.819] I mean, I was accused of abandoning them.

[00:05:28.819 – 00:05:29.620] I left them.

[00:05:29.620 – 00:05:30.879] I went out drinking.

[00:05:30.879 – 00:05:31.519] I left.

[00:05:31.519 – 00:05:41.579] Anytime I could find somebody to drink with, I was on my way, and I left those four children with their father, which was not

[00:05:41.579 – 00:05:43.000] a very good situation.

[00:05:43.000 – 00:05:53.240] And, you know, in this program, when we work the steps and we make amends, you know, sometimes those amends are accepted,

[00:05:53.240 – 00:05:54.899] and sometimes they are not.

[00:05:54.899 – 00:06:01.379] And in my case, some of the m- amends were accepted, and others were not.

[00:06:01.379 – 00:06:09.939] So I, I worked very, very hard, probably too hard, trying to fix a situation that, that couldn’t be fixed with my children.

[00:06:09.939 – 00:06:20.723] Today- My oldest child, my son, we have a relationship, uh, that’s, you

[00:06:20.723 – 00:06:28.524] know, it, it, it’s, it’s a relationship that’s okay with me because for a long, long time we didn’t have a relationship at all.

[00:06:28.524 – 00:06:34.613] It’s not the loving relationship I would like to have, but, but it is a relationship.

[00:06:34.613 – 00:06:44.663] And, uh, with my three daughters, uh, there was a lot of damage done and, uh, you know, you, you just,

[00:06:44.663 – 00:06:48.903] you try to, you try to make it up, but sometimes it’s just not possible.

[00:06:48.903 – 00:06:51.863] There was just so much damage done.

[00:06:51.863 – 00:07:01.884] Um, anyway, I continued on with this lifestyle, and finally, the marriage got, got to be

[00:07:01.884 – 00:07:12.103] such a bad situation that I decided to leave, but I didn’t think I could make it on my own when actually I was supporting the family myself at that time.

[00:07:12.103 – 00:07:18.704] So with the help of two friends of mine, uh, they moved me and we– I moved my children out.

[00:07:18.704 – 00:07:28.824] And, uh, then actually I could drink more then, you know, because I didn’t have him looking at me or, or

[00:07:28.824 – 00:07:38.863] s– you know, saying, “You’re drinking too much.” So actually, as I said, I began to drink more and, uh, things began to

[00:07:38.863 – 00:07:42.004] happen to me that, uh, I would have never dreamed of.

[00:07:42.004 – 00:07:51.564] Uh, alcoholism took me to a place that I never wanted to go and I never would have gone if it hadn’t been for the disease of alcoholism.

[00:07:51.564 – 00:08:01.624] And, uh, I, I don’t talk a lo- on- I actually only talk to my sponsor about a lot of the things that, that happened

[00:08:01.624 – 00:08:02.764] in my alcoholism.

[00:08:02.764 – 00:08:05.043] I don’t talk about it from the podium.

[00:08:05.043 – 00:08:08.163] But there were many, many dark days.

[00:08:08.163 – 00:08:17.624] This one particular job that I had, I was twelve-stepped into this program, for which I am very, very grateful.

[00:08:17.624 – 00:08:25.723] And, uh, this girl came to work for me, and I liked her right away, and she did such a good job.

[00:08:25.723 – 00:08:29.064] And, uh, one day…

[00:08:29.064 – 00:08:33.144] My office was actually in this apartment.

[00:08:33.144 – 00:08:41.244] It was an apartment complex, and was in the model apartment, which was shown to people who came in looking for an apartment.

[00:08:41.244 – 00:08:51.264] Anyway, she, she said to me one day, she said, “Julie, I noticed that you throw a lot of beer cans in the trash can

[00:08:51.264 – 00:08:56.903] in here.” And, uh, which, uh, I never thought anything about that.

[00:08:56.903 – 00:09:02.443] You know, here, this was the model apartment, and I was throwing beer cans in the trash can.

[00:09:02.443 – 00:09:09.764] So sh- as– Later on, she said to me, she said, “Julie, I, I– do you have a drinking problem?

[00:09:09.764 – 00:09:19.864] Uh, do you think you have a drinking problem?” And I said, “No, I, I don’t think I have a drinking problem.” And she said, “Well,

[00:09:19.864 – 00:09:29.864] you know, if you ever think you do, uh, I’m in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I’ll be happy to take you to a meeting.” So I, I held that

[00:09:29.864 – 00:09:39.884] in my head for, for a good while, and then she, one day she said, “Julie, let me take you to an, an AA meeting.” So I

[00:09:39.884 – 00:09:41.844] said, “Well, you know, okay.

[00:09:41.844 – 00:09:51.884] That’ll be fine.” So she picked me up, and she took me to an AA meeting, and I immediately fell in love with the people there, especially the

[00:09:51.884 – 00:09:52.244] women.

[00:09:52.244 – 00:09:55.923] I was surrounded by these women and just greeted.

[00:09:55.923 – 00:10:02.203] I, I love it when, when people go to meetings, and they are greeted and welcomed.

[00:10:02.203 – 00:10:07.802] And, uh, that– it doesn’t always happen, but it does a lot, does most of the time, I think.

[00:10:07.802 – 00:10:16.543] And, uh, so she c-continued for about a month to take me to meetings, but I was still drinking.

[00:10:16.543 – 00:10:22.823] Like Dave says, he says, “Sometimes you don’t know what this program is all about.

[00:10:22.823 – 00:10:28.364] You don’t drink.” But I, I kept, I kept drinking and going to meetings.

[00:10:28.364 – 00:10:33.484] And, uh, finally, she had given me several, uh, AA books.

[00:10:33.484 – 00:10:38.663] She had bought me the Twelve and Twelve and, uh, a re- a Daily Reflections book.

[00:10:38.663 – 00:10:48.744] And so I decided I was not an alcoholic, that those people were very, very nice and, um, you know, I could

[00:10:48.744 – 00:10:51.984] see why they were all there, but that was not for me.

[00:10:51.984 – 00:11:02.004] So I called her up and I said, “Sue, I’m not an alcoholic, and, uh, I don’t think I need to go to these

[00:11:02.004 – 00:11:12.043] meetings anymore.” And she said, “Okay.” You know, and I– She said, “Well, bring my big book back to me.” She had loaned me her big book, which

[00:11:12.043 – 00:11:14.703] of course I had not read.

[00:11:14.703 – 00:11:25.663] And so I drank for ten months, and it was a lot of blackouts, and those were the most miserable ten months that I can ever experience.

[00:11:25.663 – 00:11:33.224] And what– When I was told about my behavior when I was in a blackout, I couldn’t believe it.

[00:11:33.224 – 00:11:38.024] I, I was in total shock, and I came running back to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:11:38.024 – 00:11:48.043] Actually, at my job, I knew someone that was in Alcoholics Anonymous, and she came into the office, and I told her that I had been

[00:11:48.043 – 00:11:56.553] to, to AA about, uh, ten months before, and she said, “Well, Julie…” And I said, “But my life is miserable.

[00:11:56.553 – 00:12:06.644] I, I did something in a blackout, and I, and I, and I’m scared it’ll happen again.” And she said, “Well, Julie, go back to AA,

[00:12:06.644 – 00:12:16.823] you know.” So I called Sue, and I told her that I really believed I was an alcoholic and that, you know, I wanted to go back to AA.

[00:12:16.823 – 00:12:27.039] And she said, “Well, you know where the meetings are.” She had taken me to a lot of different meetings, and so I said, “Yes, I do so.” That

[00:12:27.039 – 00:12:35.759] very night, I went to where I had gone before to a meeting, and it had been shut down, and I was like, I was devastated.

[00:12:35.759 – 00:12:36.740] I thought, “Oh, no.

[00:12:36.740 – 00:12:40.169] I don’t think I can wait until another day.” But I did.

[00:12:40.169 – 00:12:49.580] I waited till the next day, and I went to a meeting that night, picked up a white chip, and, uh, have been going to meetings ever since.

[00:12:49.580 – 00:12:55.700] Sue became my first sponsor, and so s- we worked the steps together.

[00:12:55.700 – 00:13:05.600] We spent a lot of time together and, uh, I’ve had several sponsors over the years, and the one I have now is just…

[00:13:05.600 – 00:13:09.419] is everything I need in a sponsor.

[00:13:09.419 – 00:13:18.600] And, uh, you know, I, I don’t make any major decisions or do anything that, that I have any questions about without talking to her first.

[00:13:18.600 – 00:13:24.039] I, I, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.

[00:13:24.039 – 00:13:28.240] But, uh, there have been many, many blessings in this program.

[00:13:28.240 – 00:13:32.480] Uh, sobriety, number one.

[00:13:32.480 – 00:13:37.360] You know, my s- relationship as it is with my four children.

[00:13:37.360 – 00:13:41.279] The many, many friends I have met in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:13:41.279 – 00:13:51.279] And the most blessing of all is I met my husband here, and, uh, we, we were married several years

[00:13:51.279 – 00:14:01.340] ago, and we travel, and we have fun, and we spend time with, with friends that we’ve met in the program, and it’s an unbelievable

[00:14:01.340 – 00:14:02.059] life.

[00:14:02.059 – 00:14:07.500] I mean, no– if anyone had told me this is what it was all about, I would have never believed it.

[00:14:07.500 – 00:14:16.039] If anyone here is new, give this program a try because y- you’ll never…

[00:14:16.039 – 00:14:19.220] You, you just can’t imagine what it can offer.

[00:14:19.220 – 00:14:24.120] I remember I told one of my twins that– They, they’re both in the program.

[00:14:24.120 – 00:14:26.980] This was before she came to the program.

[00:14:26.980 – 00:14:28.779] She came three or four times.

[00:14:28.779 – 00:14:35.519] I remember calling her one day when I found out she had actually gone back to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:14:35.519 – 00:14:39.799] I called her, and I’d never said a word to her about her drinking.

[00:14:39.799 – 00:14:45.240] And, uh, I said to her, I said, uh, “Julie,” she has the same name.

[00:14:45.240 – 00:14:55.240] I said, “Julie, if you stay sober in Alcoholics Anonymous,” I said, “you will find a life that you never dreamed you

[00:14:55.240 – 00:15:00.879] would have.” And that’s all I ever said to her, and that’s the truth.

[00:15:00.879 – 00:15:07.779] You know, if she continues in Alcoholics Anonymous, she will find a life that she could not imagine.

[00:15:07.779 – 00:15:11.580] It’s good to be here, and I love you all, and thank you.

[00:15:11.580 – 00:15:22.379] Thank

[00:15:22.379 – 00:15:22.899] you, Julie.

[00:15:22.899 – 00:15:24.679] Next, we have Babs.

[00:15:24.679 – 00:15:34.840] Old

[00:15:34.840 – 00:15:35.779] habits die hard.

[00:15:35.779 – 00:15:37.299] I’m an alcoholic.

[00:15:37.299 – 00:15:38.259] I’m Babs Goodall.

[00:15:38.259 – 00:15:38.600] Oh.

[00:15:38.600 – 00:15:39.580] Hi, Babs.

[00:15:39.580 – 00:15:39.929] All right.

[00:15:39.929 – 00:15:42.840] There’s the first change that’s happened in thirty years.

[00:15:42.840 – 00:15:45.259] Erase that from the tape, please.

[00:15:45.259 – 00:15:49.539] We’re not allowed to say our last name anymore when you’re being taped.

[00:15:49.539 – 00:15:58.759] When I first came in, you could say your whole name because there were phone books, and people needed to know where we were and how to get ahold of us.

[00:15:58.759 – 00:16:06.879] And, um, so I was always taught to say your full name in an AA meeting because you wanted to make sure that somebody could find you if they needed help.

[00:16:06.879 – 00:16:13.500] Um, but nowadays, because the Internet, that’s at the public level, so that’s a violation of tradition.

[00:16:13.500 – 00:16:14.299] So erase my name.

[00:16:14.299 – 00:16:15.220] That’s not my real name.

[00:16:15.220 – 00:16:16.139] It’s an alias.

[00:16:16.139 – 00:16:22.139] Um, I loved hearing Julie speak.

[00:16:22.139 – 00:16:24.919] I hadn’t heard her story, so that was absolutely wonderful.

[00:16:24.919 – 00:16:28.779] I’m always so amazed at the power of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:16:28.779 – 00:16:31.440] I’m always so amazed at how much we are alike.

[00:16:31.440 – 00:16:41.480] And, uh, we came from different backgrounds and everything else, but the love of Alcoholics Anonymous and this incredible way of life is just cherished, and you

[00:16:41.480 – 00:16:42.899] could hear it in her talk.

[00:16:42.899 – 00:16:46.159] Um, I came from a family that didn’t drink.

[00:16:46.159 – 00:16:47.960] Um, they weren’t against it.

[00:16:47.960 – 00:16:48.639] They weren’t for it.

[00:16:48.639 – 00:16:49.360] They just didn’t.

[00:16:49.360 – 00:16:51.159] And, um, I did.

[00:16:51.159 – 00:16:51.659] I knew.

[00:16:51.659 – 00:16:56.519] I knew right from the get-go that there was something I wanted, and it had to do with alcohol.

[00:16:56.519 – 00:17:02.960] And so when I had that opportunity to drink, uh, we had these things called cold duck breakfasts.

[00:17:02.960 – 00:17:11.579] And, um, we were talking this morning at breakfast about all those other things like Ripple and Thunderbird and Mad Dog and all that.

[00:17:11.579 – 00:17:14.220] But I started with Andre’s Cold Duck.

[00:17:14.220 – 00:17:24.339] And, uh, we had these cold duck breakfasts, but what’s important about that for me is that, um, up until that point where I had that Cold Duck,

[00:17:24.339 – 00:17:26.099] man, I felt fearful.

[00:17:26.099 – 00:17:27.460] I felt afraid.

[00:17:27.460 – 00:17:36.519] I felt less than on the inside and– But on the outside, I was trying to look as good as you, you know, faking it till I made it, and I wasn’t making it.

[00:17:36.519 – 00:17:41.319] And, um, I tried that Cold Duck, and my life changed.

[00:17:41.319 – 00:17:43.660] It made me feel bigger than life.

[00:17:43.660 – 00:17:44.980] It made me feel great.

[00:17:44.980 – 00:17:51.509] It made me feel just wonderful and confident, and I could do anything, and I loved that feeling.

[00:17:51.509 – 00:18:01.680] And I’m here to tell you today that if I hadn’t found something in Alcoholics Anonymous that far exceeds what I remember of that great, great feeling,

[00:18:01.680 – 00:18:02.480] I wouldn’t be here.

[00:18:02.480 – 00:18:11.099] But I have found something that far surpasses what I felt at that very beginning because that was the beginning.

[00:18:11.099 – 00:18:13.119] That was the beginning for the downhill slide.

[00:18:13.119 – 00:18:23.039] And I, uh, started there, and, and where my drinking took me was round-the-clock drinking till I got to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:18:23.039 – 00:18:29.319] And, um, I too, like Julie, was twelve-stepped, uh, in a- Mental ward.

[00:18:29.319 – 00:18:33.500] They, um, back then didn’t know what to do with us, I guess.

[00:18:33.500 – 00:18:37.700] There were treatment centers, but, um, they thought that I was depressed.

[00:18:37.700 – 00:18:40.960] And so they sent me to the psych ward.

[00:18:40.960 – 00:18:45.380] And I learned how to drink successfully on a locked psych ward.

[00:18:45.380 – 00:18:50.079] So, um, yeah, that drinking was my problem, but I didn’t know that.

[00:18:50.079 – 00:18:51.839] I thought it was all these other things.

[00:18:51.839 – 00:18:53.939] And, um, I went on a tear.

[00:18:53.939 – 00:19:03.079] Uh, they, they let me out to go type up my resume in Greensboro, and I went and did that, and I was, uh, drinking, of course, ’cause that’s what I do.

[00:19:03.079 – 00:19:03.700] I drink.

[00:19:03.700 – 00:19:06.640] Drinking and breathing were synonymous terms for me.

[00:19:06.640 – 00:19:10.380] So I, uh, I came back to the locked psych ward.

[00:19:10.380 – 00:19:13.819] I was trying to get back there, uh, ’cause I was gonna job hunt from it.

[00:19:13.819 – 00:19:23.880] And, and on my way back, I, I– just as I was leaving Greensboro, I’ve been drinking all day, and I was happy and, and I said, “Well,

[00:19:23.880 – 00:19:25.859] you know, if I go back there, they’re not gonna let me out.

[00:19:25.859 – 00:19:35.900] So if and– if alcohol is a depressant, I’ll take an antidepressant to counteract it.” So I went into a total blackout on I-85 and, um,

[00:19:35.900 – 00:19:42.720] and through a whole thing, series, and I won’t go into it all, but a whole bunch of things happened, and I got stopped by police.

[00:19:42.720 – 00:19:44.339] I got let go by police.

[00:19:44.339 – 00:19:46.400] I got ended up in some part of Durham.

[00:19:46.400 – 00:19:47.700] I didn’t know where I was.

[00:19:47.700 – 00:19:57.799] And a lady with a shotgun, I mean, all these things were coming in to my mind, uh, the very next morning a-as I was in my bed at

[00:19:57.799 – 00:19:58.880] the locked psych ward.

[00:19:58.880 – 00:20:09.079] And, uh, there was a guy out in the hallway and, uh, he, uh, the doctor said– came in and he said, “Well, the guy out here used to be as crazy

[00:20:09.079 – 00:20:09.720] as you are.

[00:20:09.720 – 00:20:17.460] Will you listen to him?” And I didn’t care ’cause I thought at that moment, right before he had come in, I just thought to myself, “Here I am.

[00:20:17.460 – 00:20:19.819] I thought this psychiatry thing was gonna work.

[00:20:19.819 – 00:20:21.700] I thought this was the answer.

[00:20:21.700 – 00:20:31.799] If they fixed the one thing that broke when I was two or three or whatever, I would be able to be okay.” And, uh, it wasn’t working, and I felt the most

[00:20:31.799 – 00:20:34.140] hopeless I had ever felt in my whole life.

[00:20:34.140 – 00:20:44.240] And that very morning, as I was thinking that and feeling that, this guy, who happened to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous from Martinsville, Virginia, came

[00:20:44.240 – 00:20:50.410] in and sat beside my bed and shared what he was like, what happened to him, and what he’s like today.

[00:20:50.410 – 00:20:56.220] And that planted that spiritual seed of Alcoholics Anonymous that is, is it.

[00:20:56.220 – 00:20:57.259] It is AA.

[00:20:57.259 – 00:20:59.420] That was AA in action.

[00:20:59.420 – 00:21:04.140] And though I didn’t get sober right away, I got sober within a short time after that.

[00:21:04.140 – 00:21:07.680] And, uh, I have never forgotten what he did for me.

[00:21:07.680 – 00:21:17.759] And for me, you know, um, when I got to AA, which my sobriety date’s April sixth, nineteen eighty-one, I, uh, just walked in to

[00:21:17.759 – 00:21:25.459] a meeting, cold turkey, didn’t, didn’t detox or anything, and, and just, uh, went in.

[00:21:25.459 – 00:21:31.819] And, um, I know today that the answer to every single problem I ever have

[00:21:32.674 – 00:21:37.354] Every single joy that I ever have comes from working with another alcoholic.

[00:21:37.354 – 00:21:47.674] And I read in, um, AA Comes of Age just recently, in the traditions, it talks about Bill saying that, you know, we have an approach

[00:21:47.674 – 00:21:56.474] that no one else has, and there’s a strong moral and ethical compulsion upon us to do this and nothing else.

[00:21:56.474 – 00:22:06.474] And that, I mean, struck me in the heart because that’s how I started, and that’s how I’ll always wanna make sure that my hand’s out to reach to the newcomer or

[00:22:06.474 – 00:22:08.014] to the still-suffering alcoholic.

[00:22:08.014 – 00:22:14.074] And my experience is that can be me at , you know, twenty years, twenty-five, whatever.

[00:22:14.074 – 00:22:14.974] It doesn’t matter.

[00:22:14.974 – 00:22:21.134] Um, you know, when I got sober, I had, uh, the experience of having a wonderful sponsor.

[00:22:21.134 – 00:22:25.914] She trained me in things that had nothing to do with the steps even.

[00:22:25.914 – 00:22:27.934] It’s the part before the steps.

[00:22:27.934 – 00:22:31.014] She trained me in how to eat.

[00:22:31.014 – 00:22:34.874] And she trained me in– I, I came in way overweight.

[00:22:34.874 – 00:22:39.574] She said, “Eat three meals a day and eat candy bars in between.” I have never had a diet like that.

[00:22:39.574 – 00:22:41.194] Man, I lost weight like crazy.

[00:22:41.194 – 00:22:51.354] ‘Cause she said, “Don’t focus on the weight.” She said, “Focus on staying sober.” And I tell you what, when I got sober this time, I– in, in, in,

[00:22:51.354 – 00:22:54.114] uh, ’81, I came in desperate and willing.

[00:22:54.114 – 00:23:01.793] And I had called her up from a payphone boo-booth that night and, uh, and she told me, she said, um…

[00:23:01.793 – 00:23:03.374] I said what I had done.

[00:23:03.374 – 00:23:10.234] I picked up a white chip and she said, “Well, are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober?” And I absolutely was at that moment.

[00:23:10.234 – 00:23:13.554] I didn’t know what it meant, but I was willing to do anything.

[00:23:13.554 – 00:23:15.374] ‘Cause I had tried AA my way.

[00:23:15.374 – 00:23:20.094] I had tried everything else I could think of, and I was so willing to do that.

[00:23:20.094 – 00:23:24.834] And, uh, she said, uh, she– then she gave me instructions.

[00:23:24.834 – 00:23:34.894] You know, she said, uh, “When you go home tonight, say thanks for a day of sobriety, and when you get up in the morning, ask for help to stay sober.” And she said, “The people that are staying

[00:23:34.894 – 00:23:40.804] sober are doing this.” And so I did that for a, a while because I was scared to death not to do it, you know?

[00:23:40.804 – 00:23:42.034] I might be struck drunk.

[00:23:42.034 – 00:23:45.514] Um, I did whatever she said.

[00:23:45.514 – 00:23:55.574] She said, um, that same night she said, “You drank every day, didn’t you?” And I said, “Yes.” She said, “Well, go to meetings every day.” There wasn’t anything about any l– time limit, you know, on how many

[00:23:55.574 – 00:23:59.254] days you should have to stop going to meetings every day.

[00:23:59.254 – 00:24:09.274] And so, uh, she said, “And when you’re in those meetings, uh, just listen.” And I was like, “Okay, I can do all that.” But after a week, of course, I was thinking, “You might wanna know

[00:24:09.274 – 00:24:13.234] why I slipped,” but So my thinking was with me.

[00:24:13.234 – 00:24:15.254] I’m so grateful there were old-timers.

[00:24:15.254 – 00:24:18.834] I got sober in the Durham-Raleigh area, and I was blessed.

[00:24:18.834 – 00:24:20.424] I was very blessed.

[00:24:20.424 – 00:24:26.294] Durham had strong AA, as did Raleigh, and there were a bunch of old-timers everywhere.

[00:24:26.294 – 00:24:37.383] And I see a lot of the people that I got sober with out here, and it’s interesting that a lot of the people that are out here have been sober a whole lot longer than I have, and they’re here, and

[00:24:37.383 – 00:24:38.154] they’re here.

[00:24:38.154 – 00:24:46.834] And my hat’s off to all of them because they are the ones that kept walking the walk and setting the example for people like me.

[00:24:46.834 – 00:24:54.514] And it’s my job to do the same and to keep walking the walk and keep showing up at meetings.

[00:24:54.514 – 00:24:58.694] It’s so important, so very important to be there.

[00:24:58.694 – 00:25:08.694] ‘Cause I don’t wanna miss anything, for one, but two, is, uh, you know, is, it’s, AA’s gotta keep going ’cause there’s so many people that

[00:25:08.694 – 00:25:10.314] are out there that aren’t here.

[00:25:10.314 – 00:25:18.864] And, um, I guess, you know, it said in the little thing that we were supposed to talk about what, you know, some changes we’ve seen over time.

[00:25:18.864 – 00:25:25.034] And I was thinking back that, um, really we’ve got the same concerns today that we had way back.

[00:25:25.034 – 00:25:27.594] There’s anonymity breaks and things like that.

[00:25:27.594 – 00:25:32.854] I mean, anonymity gets broken at the Facebook level, um, because it’s the public level.

[00:25:32.854 – 00:25:34.834] That’s what the tradition says.

[00:25:34.834 – 00:25:37.234] We don’t break our anonymity at the public level.

[00:25:37.234 – 00:25:38.774] It’s just very simple.

[00:25:38.774 – 00:25:40.634] I mean, but now we have the solution.

[00:25:40.634 – 00:25:42.894] We know not to do that, you know?

[00:25:42.894 – 00:25:52.954] And all the years and time that was spent in hammering out all of that, you know, back in the days, um, in the

[00:25:52.954 – 00:25:55.414] ’40s and the ’50s and ’60s.

[00:25:55.414 – 00:26:03.474] Um, it’s just so wonderful, um, that these people have done so much for us, and all we have to do is safeguard what we’ve been given.

[00:26:03.474 – 00:26:05.054] And what a gift.

[00:26:05.054 – 00:26:06.134] What a gift.

[00:26:06.134 – 00:26:12.894] Um, my sobriety, um, is unfathomable.

[00:26:12.894 – 00:26:15.194] It just really is.

[00:26:15.194 – 00:26:18.674] Uh, every day is a new day, and I love that.

[00:26:18.674 – 00:26:19.374] What a gift.

[00:26:19.374 – 00:26:24.634] And, um, I love that I get to share it with, uh, alcoholics each day.

[00:26:24.634 – 00:26:31.334] I, um, was thinking about other things that might have changed since then, and really most of it’s the same.

[00:26:31.334 – 00:26:41.464] I was very blessed to have a sponsor, um, for the past twenty-eight years, uh, Dot H from Han– uh, from Durham, and, uh, she died January 1st, the most

[00:26:41.464 – 00:26:42.814] spectacular death.

[00:26:42.814 – 00:26:44.374] I mean, I don’t think I can top it.

[00:26:44.374 – 00:26:47.834] She was always my spiritual carrot.

[00:26:47.834 – 00:26:49.944] She always set the, the thing ahead.

[00:26:49.944 – 00:26:52.424] She always had what I wanted.

[00:26:52.424 – 00:26:58.194] And the old-timers have what I want, and so I’m willing to do what they do, and I’m grateful.

[00:26:58.194 – 00:27:01.754] You know, my home group is Into Action, and there’s some people here.

[00:27:01.754 – 00:27:06.874] And, um, they just made me coffee maker for this month, and I’m loving it.

[00:27:06.874 – 00:27:08.654] Man, I’m having so much fun.

[00:27:08.654 – 00:27:12.314] What an honor to be able to be a coffee maker at my group.

[00:27:12.314 – 00:27:16.994] And, uh, you know, some other people turned them down, I think, but, uh, I don’t think they’re still sober.

[00:27:16.994 – 00:27:21.044] But I’m still sober ’cause I wanna do the work.

[00:27:21.044 – 00:27:24.914] I still wanna be of service, and I still wanna be active in my home group.

[00:27:24.914 – 00:27:34.954] And, um, you know, there’s nothing that I can do in my home group that’s a– You know, just because I have some time doesn’t mean that I can’t do anything, um, that everybody

[00:27:34.954 – 00:27:35.684] else is doing.

[00:27:35.684 – 00:27:36.234] You know?

[00:27:36.234 – 00:27:38.494] I’m just one among many, and I love that.

[00:27:38.494 – 00:27:48.074] I found a God in my understanding through the twelve steps and through this incredible fellowship, and I love that we are a fellowship of just men and women.

[00:27:48.074 – 00:27:49.474] That’s all we are.

[00:27:49.474 – 00:27:50.694] And– Oh, we’re drunks too.

[00:27:50.694 – 00:27:57.574] But, um, you know, I love that, I love that I have found this power because I didn’t have any when I got here.

[00:27:57.574 – 00:28:00.874] When I finally got here, I was crawling around on the floor.

[00:28:00.874 – 00:28:04.794] Uh, swigging out of a bottle, and it wasn’t getting me anywhere.

[00:28:04.794 – 00:28:06.234] It wasn’t giving me confidence.

[00:28:06.234 – 00:28:07.994] It wasn’t making me do anything.

[00:28:07.994 – 00:28:17.394] And, um, you know, I have found this power in, in AA that continuously grows and takes me upward instead of downward.

[00:28:17.394 – 00:28:21.474] And it gets richer and greater the more I’m willing to put into it.

[00:28:21.474 – 00:28:25.334] So I know for me, I’ve always gotta have my hand out to the newcomer.

[00:28:25.334 – 00:28:28.954] I’ve always gotta have my hand out there, even if I don’t want to.

[00:28:28.954 – 00:28:39.014] And I fortunately have had old-timers ahead of me that have shown me the way, and they make those statements about how they s- people stayed up with them all night long and all this kind of

[00:28:39.014 – 00:28:40.394] stuff, and I remember that.

[00:28:40.394 – 00:28:50.674] And I think, “Okay, I don’t wanna answer the phone, but I will.” And when I do, the minute I do, I feel that connection, and it makes me full of spirit

[00:28:50.674 – 00:28:51.314] and life.

[00:28:51.314 – 00:28:54.654] And, um, whether that person stays sober or not.

[00:28:54.654 – 00:29:00.654] Um, I’m gonna stop.

[00:29:00.654 – 00:29:05.134] ‘Cause I wanna give Him time.

[00:29:05.134 – 00:29:11.654] One of the greatest blessings of my sobriety is coming up next.

[00:29:11.654 – 00:29:12.814] Thank you.

[00:29:12.814 – 00:29:22.334] Thank you, Babs.

[00:29:22.334 – 00:29:25.794] And now help me welcome Greg.

[00:29:25.794 – 00:29:35.034] I’m Greg G., and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:29:35.034 – 00:29:36.124] Hi, Greg.

[00:29:36.124 – 00:29:39.154] And my home group is, uh, Southern Pacific Group.

[00:29:39.154 – 00:29:40.994] We meet on Tuesday and Thursday night.

[00:29:40.994 – 00:29:49.354] And, uh, my sobriety date is, uh, April the 20th, 1978, and I’m grateful for every minute of that.

[00:29:49.354 – 00:29:57.814] I had cam– I came into AA the first time in 1975, and I, uh, stayed dry a couple of years.

[00:29:57.814 – 00:29:58.174] And I…

[00:29:58.174 – 00:30:01.034] You know, it’s, it’s kind of funny.

[00:30:01.034 – 00:30:09.614] A lo- I, I’ve heard just this past week a lot, it seemed like that the alcohol was my problem, and I, I really thought that alcohol was my problem at that time.

[00:30:09.614 – 00:30:13.694] Uh, and, uh, and it was when I was drinking.

[00:30:13.694 – 00:30:23.754] And, uh, when I came into AA that time, I, uh, I thought that, um, that I had quit drinking, and I really, uh, I had really lost

[00:30:23.754 – 00:30:25.614] the desire to, to drink.

[00:30:25.614 – 00:30:31.914] I just had, had, uh, drank it out of me, I guess, and, uh, was very fortunate, I, I thought.

[00:30:31.914 – 00:30:42.054] The thing that I didn’t know is that I didn’t know that my life was unmanageable and that I needed to make some changes and do some things, some, uh, step work and,

[00:30:42.054 – 00:30:50.974] uh, get a sponsor and some of those, uh, things that might be interesting to other people but, uh, felt unnecessary in my own life.

[00:30:50.974 – 00:31:01.034] And, uh, so two years later, um, uh, uh, I have full-blown alcoholism and, uh, trying to go to meetings and pretend

[00:31:01.034 – 00:31:04.914] that I’m okay, and I wasn’t, and, uh, I was just falling apart.

[00:31:04.914 – 00:31:15.114] I remember the last meeting I went to, as a matter of fact, that, uh, a guy gave me a– I was in the military at the time, and a guy gave me a, a, a ride back to the barracks,

[00:31:15.114 – 00:31:25.154] uh, from the meeting and gave me his card and said, “If you need to talk to somebody, give me a call.” And I know now that that was an opportunity for me to change

[00:31:25.154 – 00:31:31.714] the direction, and that was an opportunity for him, he saw, to, to help another suffering alcoholic.

[00:31:31.714 – 00:31:34.234] And, uh, and I didn’t do my part though.

[00:31:34.234 – 00:31:37.914] So I w– uh, it was about a week later that I was drinking again.

[00:31:37.914 – 00:31:44.214] Sat there for six months and, and, uh, thought that I would, uh, po- probably not make it back.

[00:31:44.214 – 00:31:53.664] I didn’t go out drinking because I thought that I had some more, uh, uh, experimenting to do or to, that I, maybe I wasn’t an alcoholic.

[00:31:53.664 – 00:31:59.754] When I came in the first time, I knew I was an alcoholic all the way down to my toenails, and, uh, that did not change.

[00:31:59.754 – 00:32:04.374] I knew there was gonna be a price to pay to drink again, and I, I paid the price.

[00:32:04.374 – 00:32:08.234] Right away, I started, uh, having, having some serious problems.

[00:32:08.234 – 00:32:10.034] It’s amazing that I even lived.

[00:32:10.034 – 00:32:11.874] Uh, but, uh, I did.

[00:32:11.874 – 00:32:17.134] I survived, and, and, uh, six months later, I came crawling back into AA.

[00:32:17.134 – 00:32:23.414] I hadn’t quite hit the bottom that I’d hit the first time, but I knew that, uh, it was right around the corner.

[00:32:23.414 – 00:32:30.874] So, uh, I was able to make it back into AA, and very grateful for that.

[00:32:30.874 – 00:32:40.514] And the great thing is I was able to get a sponsor and, and start working the steps and, and doing the, the things that I needed to do in order to stay sober.

[00:32:40.514 – 00:32:44.534] And, uh, you know, that’s the same way it is today i-in my life.

[00:32:44.534 – 00:32:51.334] You know, I’ve gotta do what’s necessary in order for me to stay sober and to live a productive life and make some changes.

[00:32:51.334 – 00:32:59.634] I can’t continue to be the same person I am and, and, uh, maintain, uh, some, uh, sobriety.

[00:32:59.634 – 00:33:05.794] Uh, and, a-and you know, uh, Babs mentioned a couple of things.

[00:33:05.794 – 00:33:13.144] They, they did put a little thing in there talking about some changes, and the biggest changes is that, uh, the people in AA…

[00:33:13.144 – 00:33:18.154] When I first came in, the people in AA, they really were not suitable people.

[00:33:18.154 – 00:33:28.274] They, you know, uh- They, they w-were a bunch of phonies and, uh, and, and, um, uh, you know, just

[00:33:28.274 – 00:33:30.394] all sorts of things you can’t even imagine.

[00:33:30.394 – 00:33:40.484] I c- I remember y-you know, it was kind of a, actually is a dilemma for myself because, you know, I, I was so judgmental of

[00:33:40.484 – 00:33:46.454] all you and, uh, and I knew that this was the only place that I was gonna be able to live.

[00:33:46.454 – 00:33:48.594] I, I really, I really knew that.

[00:33:48.594 – 00:33:58.394] And so I had to get y’all to change and, um- And you know, I w- I would go to my sponsor, and I would tell him about you guys.

[00:33:58.394 – 00:34:08.414] And, and, uh, and ‘course, uh, you know, he would say, “Well, who in particular sticks out in your mind as this type of person?” And, uh, and

[00:34:08.414 – 00:34:09.014] I’d tell him.

[00:34:09.014 – 00:34:10.774] I’d give him a name, Jim.

[00:34:10.774 – 00:34:12.254] That’s nobody in this room.

[00:34:12.254 – 00:34:16.714] But, um- And he would say, “Well, yeah, Jim is.

[00:34:16.714 – 00:34:18.234] You got pretty good perception.

[00:34:18.234 – 00:34:28.554] That guy is that way.” And then he would say, “But what does that have to do with you?” And, uh, I don’t know why he would say that, but-

[00:34:30.554 – 00:34:39.804] He would always send me to that tenth step even before I had arrived at that tenth step to kind of put things in perspective about what I needed to be doing.

[00:34:39.804 – 00:34:42.814] I need to be taking a look at myself and not you.

[00:34:42.814 – 00:34:45.874] And that’s always been a kind of a bell that goes off.

[00:34:45.874 – 00:34:52.494] When I’m taking your inventory a whole lot, then I probably need to take a look at myself.

[00:34:52.494 – 00:34:54.614] And, uh, and that’s the way it’s been.

[00:34:54.614 – 00:34:59.014] And I’m, I’m grateful for having the sponsorship that I’ve had over the years.

[00:34:59.014 – 00:35:02.674] That, you know, people that tell me stuff that, that I didn’t know.

[00:35:02.674 – 00:35:03.334] And I was just…

[00:35:03.334 – 00:35:13.614] As a matter of fact, I was telling a guy that I sponsor that was having a problem with the one the– one of the guys he sponsors, you know, that, uh, you know, I didn’t come in here knowing all this stuff.

[00:35:13.614 – 00:35:23.734] I had to have somebody that cared enough about me, that loved me enough to point some things out that I really didn’t know and didn’t particularly want to hear.

[00:35:23.734 – 00:35:33.114] But, uh, I wanted to stay sober real bad, so I was willing to listen and, uh, and maybe examine what they were saying, the content.

[00:35:33.114 – 00:35:35.174] And, uh, I’m so grateful for that.

[00:35:35.174 – 00:35:35.414] And it…

[00:35:35.414 – 00:35:43.934] You know, they, you know, t-talked about things that, uh, you know, aren’t, aren’t really in the, in the Big Book, you know, about, you know, being on time.

[00:35:43.934 – 00:35:53.994] You know, I was very iffy about being on time, and I remember being late with my sponsor on something, and he pointed out to me how important being on time was in that

[00:35:53.994 – 00:35:56.594] voice that only a sponsor can have.

[00:35:56.594 – 00:36:05.714] And so, you know, I listened and, and paid attention, and that’s b-been very important in my own sobriety, uh, is being on time.

[00:36:05.714 – 00:36:06.994] You know, it’s just…

[00:36:06.994 – 00:36:12.874] A-and, and it is amazing as he was saying that, you know, I…

[00:36:12.874 – 00:36:23.114] It was like I kinda examined that in my own life and, and realized that I had been iffy, as if that was okay

[00:36:23.114 – 00:36:24.154] to be that way.

[00:36:24.154 – 00:36:28.074] And, you know, somebody asked me to go somewhere, and I said, “I might be there, might not.

[00:36:28.074 – 00:36:36.814] Don’t know.” And, and, and realized that all that stuff, uh, always was like a sickness in-inside of myself.

[00:36:36.814 – 00:36:39.474] And, uh, so it, it was a…

[00:36:39.474 – 00:36:46.874] It’s a, it’s a big part of my sobriety and, and, uh, I’m grateful for somebody being honest with me and letting me know that.

[00:36:46.874 – 00:36:55.674] And I told this person the other day that they need to, uh, you know, have the same, uh, willingness to tell a person because they don’t know.

[00:36:55.674 – 00:37:00.434] You know, newcomers come in here and, and I think sometimes that’s…

[00:37:00.434 – 00:37:10.114] You know, after we’ve been around here for a long time, we think that the people, uh, come in here, and they, they, uh, know everything, and they think that too.

[00:37:10.114 – 00:37:19.413] But it’s very important for me to let somebody know because sometimes they just don’t know, and let them know.

[00:37:19.413 – 00:37:19.794] I, I…

[00:37:19.794 – 00:37:26.654] There’s a, there’s a word that I use quite often, and that, that is that behavior is unacceptable.

[00:37:26.654 – 00:37:30.714] And, uh, the thing is, if I don’t tell them, they don’t know it.

[00:37:30.714 – 00:37:40.744] And it’s very important for me to care enough about an individual because I know if, uh, that I continued the same old behavior, and I got the same old results,

[00:37:40.744 – 00:37:42.494] and, uh, they weren’t good.

[00:37:42.494 – 00:37:49.144] But anyway, over the years, you guys have, uh, changed your attitudes and, uh, and gotten a whole lot better.

[00:37:49.144 – 00:37:52.293] And, and I’m very grateful for that.

[00:37:52.293 – 00:37:59.114] Um, uh, home group is, has been so important to me.

[00:37:59.114 – 00:38:01.254] To be plugged in somewhere, you know.

[00:38:01.254 – 00:38:11.274] Sometimes I, I was talking to Alan the other night, uh, at the meeting about, uh, you know, that, that sometimes that people don’t see

[00:38:11.274 – 00:38:13.733] the importance of the, of the home group.

[00:38:13.733 – 00:38:14.314] That, uh…

[00:38:14.314 – 00:38:21.834] I’ve, I’ve seen people actually think that they have something more important than the people have to say that are in the meeting.

[00:38:21.834 – 00:38:28.354] I’ve seen people take people outside the meetings and counsel them outside while the meeting’s going on.

[00:38:28.354 – 00:38:31.594] Well, there’s two people missing the, uh, answer there.

[00:38:31.594 – 00:38:35.854] You know, the- So, uh, you know, it’s very important.

[00:38:35.854 – 00:38:44.674] And, and another thing, uh, you know, that my sponsor shared with me, and I tell you what, it, it literally saved my life one night.

[00:38:44.674 – 00:38:48.214] Uh, he told me that once you’re at a meeting, you stay at that meeting.

[00:38:48.214 – 00:38:49.254] You don’t leave.

[00:38:49.254 – 00:38:51.634] You know, you stay there no matter what.

[00:38:51.634 – 00:39:00.374] And, uh, you know, I was at a meeting one night, and some guy said something to me right before the meeting started that just…

[00:39:00.374 – 00:39:03.734] I mean, it, it just made me angry.

[00:39:03.734 – 00:39:12.054] So angry I was fantasizing about being down at the bar drinking and throwing, throwing down, uh, shots.

[00:39:12.054 – 00:39:14.554] And I was, I was fairly new at the time.

[00:39:14.554 – 00:39:21.254] And, uh, the thing that– that thing that he told me flashed through my head.

[00:39:21.254 – 00:39:31.894] As I sit through that– sat through that meeting, I still had the same thoughts at the end of the meeting, except the– there was another thought that came in during the meeting, and that was call your sponsor

[00:39:31.894 – 00:39:33.614] right after this meeting’s over with.

[00:39:33.614 – 00:39:41.554] That I expected to get out of sobriety and from Alcoholics Anonymous, that I was still way short-changed myself.

[00:39:41.554 – 00:39:51.594] And that’s the great, uh, great thing for myself in Alcoholics Anonymous is that, uh, I’m still receiving these spiritual gifts, but I’ve got to continue

[00:39:51.594 – 00:39:56.694] to do the, uh, spiritual things that are laid down in this, uh, program.

[00:39:56.694 – 00:39:58.394] I got to practice these principles.

[00:39:58.394 – 00:40:02.234] I’ve got to be present to win, as, uh, some people say.

[00:40:02.234 – 00:40:05.874] And, uh, I got to be involved in the fellowship.

[00:40:05.874 – 00:40:15.874] And, uh, the, the things that, uh, Bab me-Babs mentioned about, uh, you know, about those new devices that

[00:40:15.874 – 00:40:17.554] we have at Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:40:17.554 – 00:40:20.954] Al-Alcoholics Anonymous really has not changed.

[00:40:20.954 – 00:40:27.770] I don’t think there’s a thing that’s been changed in the Big Book And, uh, that it’s all still the same.

[00:40:27.770 – 00:40:29.569] The, the fellowship is the same.

[00:40:29.569 – 00:40:39.430] You know, I think that there’s some things that have changed in our culture, and that we need to really– that I need to take a really, uh, close look at.

[00:40:39.430 – 00:40:49.470] And it’s important for me to let somebody know that is not, uh, behaving in a, in a rightful manner in an AA meeting, that somebody that’s

[00:40:49.470 – 00:40:59.570] using their cell phone or somebody that’s texting or somebody that’s, uh, you know, putting, uh, names of Alcoholics Anonymous members on the, on the Facebook,

[00:40:59.570 – 00:41:09.610] that I need to let them know that that behavior is unacceptable because you’re putting the lives of people that are yet to come

[00:41:09.610 – 00:41:13.730] and also the lives of people that are already here in jeopardy.

[00:41:13.730 – 00:41:21.010] And, um, so for, you know, those things are r- that I’m, I am absolutely responsible for.

[00:41:21.010 – 00:41:30.270] Uh, I I th- I thought about as, as, uh, telling Jerry, that’s who it was, uh, before the meeting.

[00:41:30.270 – 00:41:40.370] He said, “You don’t look like an old-timer.” I said, “Well, uh, I guess maybe you need to help me up here behi– at the podium to, to look like an old-timer.” But, um,

[00:41:40.370 – 00:41:45.590] I’m going in, uh, Monday for my second colonoscopy.

[00:41:45.590 – 00:41:46.630] That’s how old I am.

[00:41:46.630 – 00:41:56.630] So, so it’s, it’s good to see Jim up here,

[00:41:56.630 – 00:41:59.850] you know, forgetting who the readers were and all that stuff.

[00:41:59.850 – 00:42:03.080] Pretending like he was an old-timer and- …

[00:42:03.080 – 00:42:07.310] and, uh, it, it’s really great to be invited to something like this.

[00:42:07.310 – 00:42:15.850] It’s definitely, definitely is frightening and everything, and I’ve, I’ve given this talk, uh, you know, probably twenty times.

[00:42:15.850 – 00:42:23.630] And the, the, the great thing that I was told is to, to speak from your heart and, and the, and the, and the Dave C.

[00:42:23.630 – 00:42:29.330] method of, uh, forgetting your notes and all that stuff, uh, is definitely valuable to me.

[00:42:29.330 – 00:42:30.090] Thank you.

[00:42:30.090 – 00:42:40.130] Thank you,

[00:42:40.130 – 00:42:40.530] Greg.

[00:42:40.530 – 00:42:41.570] Thank each of you.

[00:42:41.570 – 00:42:44.070] Uh, you’ve got a special place in our hearts.

[00:42:44.070 – 00:42:47.070] I, uh– And we’ve got a gift.

[00:42:47.070 – 00:42:48.350] This is something new.

[00:42:48.350 – 00:42:53.230] We’ve got a gift for our, uh, old-timer panelists.

[00:42:53.230 – 00:42:54.650] And these are special.

[00:42:54.650 – 00:42:59.030] They were made by someone in the, uh, Hispanic AA community.

[00:42:59.030 – 00:43:02.970] And so we’ve got the Hispanic AA community to thank for these.

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