[00:00:00.400 – 00:00:06.540] I want to thank Charlie for, uh, asking us to, uh, ask me to put together a panel for the Old Timers meeting.

[00:00:06.540 – 00:00:14.199] I can’t believe I was sitting out there in, uh, the first row at an AA meeting one day, and I never dreamed I’d end up being on an Old Timers panel.

[00:00:14.199 – 00:00:18.559] And, um, it’s a long time ago.

[00:00:18.559 – 00:00:24.679] My sobriety date’s March the 12th, 1966, so, uh, it was 40 years for me this past March.

[00:00:24.679 – 00:00:34.689] And I thought that, uh- When he asked– Charlie asked me about putting this meeting together, I thought, “Well, why

[00:00:34.689 – 00:00:43.579] don’t I try and make it the spirit of ’66?” And, um, I knew a couple other people had gotten sober and stayed sober in that year, and, uh, one of them is Jim, and the other one is Carol.

[00:00:43.579 – 00:00:52.820] And, um, what’s neat about it, we, we got sober, and not only have we stayed sober, we’ve been active all this time in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:00:52.820 – 00:00:57.700] And, um, all the– both my speakers here today, including myself, are still active in AA.

[00:00:57.700 – 00:01:04.079] Uh, Carol is a member of the 857 Club, and Jim is a member of As Bill Sees It in Berlin Thursday night meeting.

[00:01:04.079 – 00:01:06.640] Hers is Saturday at noon, so, uh, eleven o’clock.

[00:01:06.640 – 00:01:13.840] So, uh, but, uh, we, we thought we’d come up and share with you a little bit about what it used to be like for us, uh, when we first got sober.

[00:01:13.840 – 00:01:21.459] And let’s face it, we’ve got about 120 years sobriety up here on this, this platform, and, um, we got one h– one hour to get it into.

[00:01:21.459 – 00:01:25.260] So we got about- -two years for each minute of sharing up here.

[00:01:25.260 – 00:01:33.379] And, uh, so without any further ado, um, I’m gonna start off with, um, we wanna start th-this off with somebody really pretty today.

[00:01:33.379 – 00:01:34.719] So we’re gonna start with Carol.

[00:01:34.719 – 00:01:36.019] Carol, go ahead.

[00:01:36.019 – 00:01:46.250] I wanna thank everybody

[00:01:46.250 – 00:01:49.019] for getting up early in the morning and coming.

[00:01:49.019 – 00:01:51.500] And I see all your beautiful faces.

[00:01:51.500 – 00:02:01.519] We’re going to, uh, try to keep the theme about when we came in rather than our drunk log, since we don’t have the whole hour

[00:02:01.519 – 00:02:02.060] to speak.

[00:02:02.060 – 00:02:12.319] Um, I’d like to tell how I came in because I really believe I had a spiritual awakening or a s-spiritual experience.

[00:02:12.319 – 00:02:18.579] I was in a drugstore one day, and I had no intention of not drinking anymore.

[00:02:18.579 – 00:02:20.020] I thought I was crazy.

[00:02:20.020 – 00:02:24.919] I thought I was losing my mind, and I did not think that it was the drinking.

[00:02:24.919 – 00:02:29.240] I thought that the beer was keeping me from going completely over the edge.

[00:02:29.240 – 00:02:36.599] I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff, hanging by my fingernails, and the beer was keeping me from completely going over.

[00:02:36.599 – 00:02:42.500] I was in the drugstore one Sunday m– uh, evening, and I wanted to read a book.

[00:02:42.500 – 00:02:50.219] I looked over the, uh, newsstand, and the only book I could see that looked interesting was Days of Wine and Roses.

[00:02:50.219 – 00:02:56.219] I had see– I had seen the movie, and I thought it was very, very hammy.

[00:02:56.219 – 00:02:57.659] I thought they hammed it up.

[00:02:57.659 – 00:02:58.860] Nobody gets that bad.

[00:02:58.860 – 00:03:04.979] So when I saw the movie, I proceeded to go back out and got drunk the very, you know, the same night.

[00:03:04.979 – 00:03:13.280] So I picked up the book, and I brought it home, and I started reading it on Sunday night, and on Tuesday evening, I finished the book.

[00:03:13.280 – 00:03:23.300] And at the end of the book, it said, “Kirsten looked out the window and said, ‘What an ugly place the world is when you’re sober.'” And I closed the book, and I said, “Please, God,

[00:03:23.300 – 00:03:30.899] don’t let me get that bad.” The very next night, it was no, no different than any other night.

[00:03:30.899 – 00:03:39.620] Um, I had a couple of beers, and my children were at a, at a birthday party, and my husband was going to Sunny Surplus.

[00:03:39.620 – 00:03:43.180] And I asked him to take me to Sunny Surplus with him.

[00:03:43.180 – 00:03:52.860] And he said, “No.” And I thought, “Oh, my God, he doesn’t even wanna be seen in Sunny Surplus with me.” And for s-some reason or other, that panicked me.

[00:03:52.860 – 00:04:03.400] So I– then I put him to another test, and I said, “Well, before you go out, will you bring me six beers back?” And if he said yes, I knew he was out for the night,

[00:04:03.400 – 00:04:05.939] and if he said no, I knew he was coming back.

[00:04:05.939 – 00:04:15.939] He would probably say, “What’s the matter?” You know, “Can’t you even wait that long for me to come back from the store?” But he said, “All right.” He would bring me back six beers, so I would knew he was gone

[00:04:15.939 – 00:04:16.519] for the night.

[00:04:16.519 – 00:04:26.600] So he brought me back the six beers, and he put it on the end table, and he said, “Here, lush, drink yourself to death.” So I called up my sister-in-law, and

[00:04:26.600 – 00:04:30.779] I talked to her for a while, and I told her I wanted to get help.

[00:04:30.779 – 00:04:41.680] And she said, “Do you really mean it?” And I said, “Yes.” And so she got me the number, and I got ahold of The Chip House, and a meeting was going on, so

[00:04:41.680 – 00:04:44.660] they couldn’t talk to me, and they said they’d call me back after the meeting.

[00:04:44.660 – 00:04:48.040] Well, I called back two minutes later, and they said, “The meeting’s still going on.

[00:04:48.040 – 00:04:52.540] It’s only been two minutes.” So I called a priest.

[00:04:52.540 – 00:04:55.259] Now, I hadn’t been to church in years.

[00:04:55.259 – 00:04:56.800] I don’t know where that came from.

[00:04:56.800 – 00:05:03.279] I don’t know what church I called, but I knew I talked to a priest, and I talked to him for three hours that night.

[00:05:03.279 – 00:05:08.800] I mean, he was really a wonderful person, and I wanted to take my confession by phone.

[00:05:08.800 – 00:05:15.339] But he said, “We don’t take confessions.” Well, I told him anyways.

[00:05:15.339 – 00:05:25.949] And, um, the next morning, um, I got a telephone call from the guy that I talked to at The Chip House, and he told me, he said,

[00:05:25.949 – 00:05:35.740] “Call Intergroup, and I’m going up there now, and you better call.” And so I said, “All right.” Well, I didn’t know what he was gonna do to me if I didn’t call, but I called anyways.

[00:05:35.740 – 00:05:45.879] Um, I talked to Tom, and, um, he sent somebody to get me on Saturday morn– uh, Saturday evening, and our first

[00:05:45.879 – 00:05:48.079] meeting was Victory Villa.

[00:05:48.079 – 00:05:56.120] Um, it also said in the Days of Wine and Roses that when you look around, you’ll probably see people that look just like your neighbors.

[00:05:56.120 – 00:05:59.920] Well, I looked around, and I didn’t see anybody that looked like my neighbor.

[00:05:59.920 – 00:06:03.612] And, um- I thought they looked like a glum lot.

[00:06:03.612 – 00:06:13.752] They were talking real quiet about drinking and all, and I thought, “How can you stay sober by talking about drinking all the time?” But I did go to my next meeting, and,

[00:06:13.752 – 00:06:18.851] uh, somebody did say something funny there, and it was like a dam bursting.

[00:06:18.851 – 00:06:23.891] I think the thing that attracted me to the program was my sponsor.

[00:06:23.891 – 00:06:34.071] Um, she was just a quiet little lady who had a lot of serenity and a lot of peace of mind, and I hadn’t known

[00:06:34.071 – 00:06:35.732] that for a long time.

[00:06:35.732 – 00:06:45.771] Um, she was very gentle, and, uh, I got my– a lot of my, uh, sobriety at the Chip House, and they said,

[00:06:45.771 – 00:06:51.411] “You know, if you can get through the Chip House, you can make it anywhere.” They’re really tough down there.

[00:06:51.411 – 00:06:51.812] I mean…

[00:06:51.812 – 00:06:56.471] And it was a lot of these clichés, and I hated those clichés.

[00:06:56.471 – 00:06:58.951] I mean, I wanted some straight talk.

[00:06:58.951 – 00:07:00.591] I grew up on sayings.

[00:07:00.591 – 00:07:09.992] I mean, if I’d sit around bored, my mother would say, “What do you want me to do, hire a brass band?” Well, I thought, “What am I gonna do with a brass band?” I took everything literally.

[00:07:09.992 – 00:07:21.572] And my father would say, “You know, Carol, you gather more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” And I thought, “Who wants flies?” So

[00:07:21.572 – 00:07:26.932] then I come into AA, and it’s all these clichés.

[00:07:26.932 – 00:07:30.310] You know, you’d say something, they’d say, “Well, the door where– swings both ways.

[00:07:30.310 – 00:07:40.612] Don’t let it hit you on the fanny on the way out.” And, um, “If you don’t want what we have, you know, we’ll refund your misery,” and all kinds of, uh, clichés

[00:07:40.612 – 00:07:41.672] that you don’t hear now.

[00:07:41.672 – 00:07:47.872] Um, but I did get my, uh, sobriety, a lot of it, in the Chip House.

[00:07:47.872 – 00:07:50.891] At that time, the Chip House was very popular.

[00:07:50.891 – 00:07:52.932] There were very few meetings.

[00:07:52.932 – 00:07:58.872] Um, there were probably less than seventy in the Baltimore and Eastern Shore area.

[00:07:58.872 – 00:08:08.312] And, um, I think the boredom and loneliness for the newcomer is probably the worst enemy, and it was for me.

[00:08:08.312 – 00:08:11.350] Uh, I got totally active.

[00:08:11.350 – 00:08:14.372] I still didn’t believe I was an alcoholic.

[00:08:14.372 – 00:08:20.531] At that time, there was some controversy as to whether alcoholism was a disease.

[00:08:20.531 – 00:08:25.692] I believed it was a cop-out at the time because I thought it was a moral issue.

[00:08:25.692 – 00:08:33.572] Um, so– Just lost my train of thought again.

[00:08:33.572 – 00:08:43.692] But anyways, um, I kept coming back even though I didn’t believe I was an alcoholic, and I did everything that was asked of me to do, and I loved

[00:08:43.692 – 00:08:45.172] every bo– uh, part of it.

[00:08:45.172 – 00:08:47.692] Um, we’d get dressed up.

[00:08:47.692 – 00:08:52.392] The women would always wear dresses and stockings and high heels, and the men wore suits.

[00:08:52.392 – 00:08:55.172] And, um, we would always get dressed up.

[00:08:55.172 – 00:08:56.192] It’s like it was a party.

[00:08:56.192 – 00:09:02.912] In fact, I would feel so guilty going out the door, my husband would say, “Well, have a good time.” And I would stop short and say, “What do you mean?

[00:09:02.912 – 00:09:05.272] I’m out there to help myself to get sober, you know?

[00:09:05.272 – 00:09:09.312] I’m not out there to have a good time.” But it was a wonderful time.

[00:09:09.312 – 00:09:18.831] We used to go on a lot of 12-step calls, and you never knew what was gonna happen, and you’d have a lot of adventures by each one that you went out on.

[00:09:18.831 – 00:09:27.091] Um, I joined, uh, this group, and the reason I joined the group was because I thought they were sicker than I was.

[00:09:27.091 – 00:09:31.052] Um, that’s how sick I was.

[00:09:31.052 – 00:09:38.751] Uh, there were two guys that just were out of Springfield State Hospital, and they started a group, and so I joined it and became secretary.

[00:09:38.751 – 00:09:44.892] I was secretary of Intergroup, and, um, I loved every bit of it.

[00:09:44.892 – 00:09:53.672] My, uh, sponsor said– Even though she was quiet and she kept the p– uh, program very simple, she had a steel trap mind.

[00:09:53.672 – 00:09:57.331] You know, she’d say, “We’re going to a meeting tonight.” It was every night.

[00:09:57.331 – 00:10:08.831] And I’d say, “Well, what about my children?” She’d say, “Well, what about your children when you were drinking?” And I said, “All right, I’ll be there.” Then she said, “We’re going to an institution.” And

[00:10:08.831 – 00:10:19.131] I said, “Well, isn’t that where the mentally, uh, mental ta– uh, mentally challenged people are?” And she said, “Yes.” And I said, “Oh, I can’t be around crazy people.”

[00:10:19.131 – 00:10:22.491] So I was there.

[00:10:22.491 – 00:10:26.511] Um, and I loved it.

[00:10:26.511 – 00:10:27.591] It was wonderful.

[00:10:27.591 – 00:10:37.192] Uh, but then when I was sober three years, uh, I did get a divorce, and, uh, that was really a rough time.

[00:10:37.192 – 00:10:38.412] I had four children.

[00:10:38.412 – 00:10:48.591] I hadn’t worked in 12 years, and I went back to work, and I raised my four children, and I did have to cut back on some of my activities.

[00:10:48.591 – 00:10:58.751] Um, I finally, uh, got through that two years, and I prayed to God, and I formed a very

[00:10:58.751 – 00:11:01.072] strong relationship with God at that time.

[00:11:01.072 – 00:11:03.772] I was left with, um…

[00:11:03.772 – 00:11:10.282] My sponsor fired me, and, um, my family was in Boston.

[00:11:10.282 – 00:11:19.312] I had very few friends, and, um, I just had to totally rely on God, and I felt closer to God at that time.

[00:11:19.312 – 00:11:29.351] And I believe someone said that until your ego deflat– ego is deflated to nothing, that you can’t let the grace of God in, and I think that’s what happened

[00:11:29.351 – 00:11:30.491] to me at that time.

[00:11:30.491 – 00:11:40.251] After two years of, uh, praying, I finally went to bed one night, and I was praying and reading the acceptance book.

[00:11:40.251 – 00:11:43.412] And up till that point, I was very weak.

[00:11:43.412 – 00:11:47.412] I was, uh, emotionally dependent on everybody.

[00:11:47.412 – 00:11:52.032] And the next morning, I woke up, and I really felt like a different person.

[00:11:52.032 – 00:11:58.152] I really felt strong, and I was hoping that it wouldn’t be a fleeting thing.

[00:11:58.152 – 00:12:03.652] I hoped it wasn’t going to be, um, uh, just temporary, and it wasn’t.

[00:12:03.652 – 00:12:04.711] It stayed with me.

[00:12:04.711 – 00:12:14.768] I, um, felt so good about being sober and being a single parent raising my children that I thought, “I don’t even

[00:12:14.768 – 00:12:15.548] need a man.

[00:12:15.548 – 00:12:22.826] I can do this on my own.” And so I stayed single for five years.

[00:12:22.826 – 00:12:29.947] And, um, well, I, I did date, and then the last time that I dated, I said, “That’s it.

[00:12:29.947 – 00:12:33.967] No more men, and I’ll, I’ll do it on my own.

[00:12:33.967 – 00:12:42.187] It’s just gonna be AA, the children, and my work, and myself.” And, uh, not necessarily in that order.

[00:12:42.187 – 00:12:52.248] But, um, on Mother’s Day in May– That was in January, and on Mother’s Day in May, there was a knock on my

[00:12:52.248 – 00:13:02.888] door, and, uh, it was this friend of mine, Bob, and he had a bottle of perfume for me for Mother’s Day and asked me if he could take,

[00:13:02.888 – 00:13:06.927] um, my two children, that were home at the time, and myself out to dinner.

[00:13:06.927 – 00:13:07.988] And I said, “Fine.

[00:13:07.988 – 00:13:18.067] That would be great.” And I said, “But this is just gonna be platonic.” Well, we went together for about a year, and he gave me a ring, and I said,

[00:13:18.067 – 00:13:25.467] “Well, it is a pretty ring.” I was still a little bit shallow.

[00:13:25.467 – 00:13:33.508] And I said, “If I’m wearing this ring next year, we’ll talk about getting married.

[00:13:33.508 – 00:13:36.437] We’ll discuss it.” That was in April.

[00:13:36.437 – 00:13:47.087] And the following April, he called up and said, “Well, are you ready to set a date?” And I said, “Well, that was a long discussion.” And so we set a date,

[00:13:47.087 – 00:13:57.268] and, uh, the day I got married, we were going to Barbados on our honeymoon, and I cried all the way to Barbados and I said, “I made another mistake.

[00:13:57.268 – 00:14:04.868] I made another mistake.” Well, we were married for thirty years, and we had a wonderful AA mar– uh, marriage.

[00:14:04.868 – 00:14:09.107] Um, my husband passed away two years ago.

[00:14:09.107 – 00:14:16.408] Um, he had Alzheimer’s and, um, he was a wonderful AA member.

[00:14:16.408 – 00:14:19.927] He loved AA, and he did walk the walk.

[00:14:19.927 – 00:14:20.988] He truly did.

[00:14:20.988 – 00:14:24.447] What you saw at meetings was what he was at home.

[00:14:24.447 – 00:14:27.528] And, uh, he was just a wonderful person.

[00:14:27.528 – 00:14:31.207] Um, I had stayed away from meetings.

[00:14:31.207 – 00:14:38.427] Um, I haven’t been as active the last few years as Stu and Jim.

[00:14:38.427 – 00:14:41.927] Um, it wasn’t deliberate.

[00:14:41.927 – 00:14:52.106] It just, life got in the way and, uh, then when my husband got Alzheimer’s, I just handled it by isolating myself and, uh,

[00:14:52.107 – 00:14:53.087] taking care of him.

[00:14:53.087 – 00:15:00.388] And, um, some people in the, uh, program were nice enough to take him to meetings.

[00:15:00.388 – 00:15:07.567] And, um, after he, uh, passed away, I started coming back to meetings again.

[00:15:07.567 – 00:15:09.998] Today, I feel like a new person.

[00:15:09.998 – 00:15:14.427] I don’t feel like I have forty years sobriety, or going on forty.

[00:15:14.427 – 00:15:18.707] I feel like I’m very new and enthusiastic about the program.

[00:15:18.707 – 00:15:26.467] I, uh, love this program very much and, uh, I’m just happy to be here and I’m happy to get through this.

[00:15:26.467 – 00:15:27.048] Thank you.

[00:15:27.048 – 00:15:38.658] That was

[00:15:38.658 – 00:15:39.388] beautiful, Carol.

[00:15:39.388 – 00:15:39.847] Thank you.

[00:15:39.847 – 00:15:46.648] Uh, the next speaker we’re gonna have is a guy, uh, who came in right after me.

[00:15:46.648 – 00:15:48.307] We got sober, spent a lot of time together.

[00:15:48.307 – 00:15:59.168] We got involved with some crazy people when we got sober that were very enthus– excited about being sober to the point they said, uh, “In the fall of this year, 1966,

[00:15:59.168 – 00:16:09.248] we’re going to New York for Bill Wilson’s anniversary.” I said, “Who the hell is Bill Wilson?” He said, “All he is, is the founder of the program called

[00:16:09.248 – 00:16:19.508] Alcoholics Anonymous.” And Jimmy and I and three other guys jumped into a car and we, we got one room at the Americana Hotel and went to Bill Wilson’s anniversary and, um, that’s

[00:16:19.508 – 00:16:21.408] the kind of enthusiasm involved when we got.

[00:16:21.408 – 00:16:24.768] And I was privileged to go back to three more of Bill’s anniversaries before he passed away.

[00:16:24.768 – 00:16:29.398] I’m sitting there thinking, Jimmy and I were sitting there talking, and, uh, we appreciate Dave, your talk last night.

[00:16:29.398 – 00:16:34.748] We heard you at our first year of sobriety together and, uh, it’s good to see you, you know, leading the path for us.

[00:16:34.748 – 00:16:41.488] So anyway, I’m gonna give you my friend, uh, Jim from Berlin, um, as Bill sees his grouper.

[00:16:41.488 – 00:16:43.408] Whatever it is, Jimmy, come up here.

[00:16:43.408 – 00:16:48.748] Don’t steal my watch.

[00:16:48.748 – 00:16:55.447] Well, I didn’t know all that was gonna happen.

[00:16:55.447 – 00:17:02.307] He gave me this watch and, uh, then he’s talked between, and so I don’t know how much time I got.

[00:17:02.307 – 00:17:04.837] I, I, I think I have thirty min-

[00:17:04.986 – 00:17:07.966] It’s, uh We start at quarter after.

[00:17:07.966 – 00:17:17.986] You know, Sue gave me her watch this morning and said, “You need to use this.” And then, uh, Evelyn said, “Mine’s

[00:17:17.986 – 00:17:19.806] bigger.” Or I looked at it or something.

[00:17:19.806 – 00:17:29.846] And then I walked over here, and Stu said, “You need two watches.” And then he said, “Mine is real bigger, so give Sue’s back, and you take this

[00:17:29.846 – 00:17:32.166] one.” So my name is Jim.

[00:17:32.166 – 00:17:33.846] I’m powerless over alcohol.

[00:17:33.846 – 00:17:34.876] Hi, Jim.

[00:17:34.876 – 00:17:37.406] I’m delighted, of course, to be here this morning.

[00:17:37.406 – 00:17:40.606] And, uh, uh, and it’s nice to say that.

[00:17:40.606 – 00:17:48.646] But, uh, inside, when I woke up this morning, I thought, you know, what a, what a wonderful honor to be asked to speak.

[00:17:48.646 – 00:17:58.806] And, uh, if you’re new in AA, and, and you look and say, “Oh my Lord, 40 years, that’s not possible,” and it really

[00:17:58.806 – 00:18:01.686] isn’t– ha-hasn’t happen-happened yet.

[00:18:01.686 – 00:18:05.746] It’s next week, so I have four more days to go, so.

[00:18:05.746 – 00:18:12.686] But if you’re new, and you look that way, you say, “Oh, it’s impossible,” w-we used to do that.

[00:18:12.686 – 00:18:20.065] But then when you’ve whatever number of years it is and look back, it, it happened so quickly.

[00:18:20.065 – 00:18:29.766] Uh, I know that there’s a lot of cups of coffee involved and a lot of setting up rooms and a lot of what Dave said last night.

[00:18:29.766 – 00:18:34.906] Sometimes, hopefully always, we don’t have time for breakfast.

[00:18:34.906 – 00:18:37.706] I wanna mention something about Burl.

[00:18:37.706 – 00:18:42.506] Uh, Burl and I have teased an awful lot.

[00:18:42.506 – 00:18:51.646] And I remember in the process of getting sober, I used to think– and I have no reason to change it, I just– we’re not together anymore.

[00:18:51.646 – 00:18:53.066] We live in different places.

[00:18:53.066 – 00:18:58.226] But I thought Burl was the finest AA I had ever known for years.

[00:18:58.226 – 00:19:06.746] And one of the reasons, if not the main reason, was because he would go to meetings at night with a van loaded with new drunks.

[00:19:06.746 – 00:19:16.066] And one night Burl said to me, “You know, I’ve been to a meeting with a bunch of guys in my vehicle for five– every night for five years.

[00:19:16.066 – 00:19:19.546] They don’t know it, but tonight I’m not going.

[00:19:19.546 – 00:19:29.426] I’m going to a movie.” “I haven’t been anywhere for every night for five years.” And, uh, he didn’t tell you the whole story about this.

[00:19:29.426 – 00:19:31.066] Uh, we did get in an argument.

[00:19:31.066 – 00:19:35.166] It was very devastating at the time.

[00:19:35.166 – 00:19:45.586] You know, I, I try to have a low key today because when I get into arguments and stuff and say things, I go home, and then I mull it over inside.

[00:19:45.586 – 00:19:51.006] And I don’t like acting that way, no matter what I might lead people to believe.

[00:19:51.006 – 00:19:57.886] I don’t like at all hurting other people, which is not the same as just being truthful about how we stay sober.

[00:19:57.886 – 00:20:00.986] But, uh, we got into it one day.

[00:20:00.986 – 00:20:10.226] And I, I think what happened, Burl, uh, decided he didn’t want to cause my family to have to arrange for a funeral.

[00:20:10.226 – 00:20:14.375] Or he decided he didn’t wanna go to jail or whatever.

[00:20:14.375 – 00:20:24.426] So he was out there hammering and all, doing carpentry work, and he took his tool belt off and threw it down and said, “I got to get the hell out of here.” And he got in his

[00:20:24.426 – 00:20:29.086] car and drove to Florida and, uh, and stayed two weeks.

[00:20:29.086 – 00:20:30.406] We didn’t know if he was coming back.

[00:20:30.406 – 00:20:32.026] I didn’t know if he was coming back.

[00:20:32.026 – 00:20:32.846] He gonna shoot me.

[00:20:32.846 – 00:20:35.786] It was not just a little argument over a table.

[00:20:35.786 – 00:20:39.006] In fact, it wasn’t even a table.

[00:20:39.006 – 00:20:39.966] It was a sofa.

[00:20:39.966 – 00:20:41.606] But he’s getting old.

[00:20:41.606 – 00:20:51.746] And, uh, but Burl has been– uh, he was one of the guys that came a short time after, but

[00:20:51.746 – 00:20:54.406] he traveled with– although he lived at my sponsor’s house.

[00:20:54.406 – 00:20:57.886] He’s a, a street drunk of the United States of America.

[00:20:57.886 – 00:21:01.406] He’s, uh– was the mayor of Pratt Street at one time.

[00:21:01.406 – 00:21:06.346] And, uh, so I got to know him real well.

[00:21:06.346 – 00:21:09.586] But I wanna tell you one story about what happened.

[00:21:09.586 – 00:21:13.526] I was sober two years, and I went down south.

[00:21:13.526 – 00:21:16.306] And I got sober in Baltimore, and I went down south.

[00:21:16.306 – 00:21:22.965] And, uh, I got into– I got my back against the wall and, uh, for a number of reasons.

[00:21:22.965 – 00:21:24.486] And I called my sponsor.

[00:21:24.486 – 00:21:29.286] And, uh, he came in one night, and, uh, he was talking about it.

[00:21:29.286 – 00:21:32.946] When we talked on the phone, he said, “I can’t talk over the phone.

[00:21:32.946 – 00:21:40.726] I gotta come down there and see you face to face.” So I said, “Oh, there’s no need for you to come down here.” He said, “Don’t tell me what there’s a need for.

[00:21:40.726 – 00:21:41.806] I know what I’m doing.

[00:21:41.806 – 00:21:51.836] Just pick me up at the airport Thursday night.” Berkey came out to the house and, uh, the apartment, and, uh, we were sitting there, and I said,

[00:21:51.836 – 00:21:55.286] “Well, uh, there’s a place back here down, down the hall here.

[00:21:55.286 – 00:21:57.366] There’s a room.” He said, “I didn’t come down here to sleep.

[00:21:57.366 – 00:22:03.646] I came down here to talk.” And we talked all night long, which is what Stu and I used to do at conventions.

[00:22:03.646 – 00:22:09.426] We’d sit up all night after Saturday night meeting, and, and at some point we’d say, “Hey, you know, it’s light outside.

[00:22:09.426 – 00:22:13.766] Let’s go get breakfast.” And, uh, we would do that at conventions like this.

[00:22:13.766 – 00:22:22.846] Well, anyway, Burl came in, and, uh, Bill said, “I’m going down to Atlanta to see Jimmy.” And Burl had heard of me.

[00:22:22.846 – 00:22:26.566] And Burl said, “What’s the matter?” I said, “Well, hell, he’s a drunk.

[00:22:26.566 – 00:22:27.646] He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

[00:22:27.646 – 00:22:28.726] He wants to stay sober.

[00:22:28.726 – 00:22:34.206] He called.” And Burl said, “Well, I got a place to stay here.

[00:22:34.206 – 00:22:44.206] I’ll stay at the house.” And he pulled out his paycheck, and he signed it, and he gave it to Bill and said, uh, “Let

[00:22:44.206 – 00:22:48.826] this help you with your, uh, plane ticket.” I had never met Burl.

[00:22:48.826 – 00:22:54.906] And then when I did meet him– this has to do with what it was like when I came to AA.

[00:22:54.906 – 00:23:02.746] When I did meet him, I drove up with, uh, uh, pulling a big old wagon with all the furniture in it and stuff.

[00:23:02.746 – 00:23:10.306] And, uh, and they were over in Salisbury waiting for me, Berkey and his wife and, and Burl.

[00:23:10.306 – 00:23:20.318] We shook hands and, and we talked, and Burl said, “I came over here to help move the big pieces of furniture,” which he could do.

[00:23:20.318 – 00:23:22.618] He was a strong, powerful man back then.

[00:23:22.618 – 00:23:27.158] And, uh, I waited for about four years before we got into it.

[00:23:27.158 – 00:23:34.878] But, um he, uh, he, he like almost moved a piano himself.

[00:23:34.878 – 00:23:39.658] And, uh, then he said, “I can’t stay and help.

[00:23:39.658 – 00:23:40.638] I have to leave.

[00:23:40.638 – 00:23:50.658] I have to go back to, uh– I gotta go to Washington DC tonight because I’m leading a meeting, but I’ll be back in the morning.” And he came back the next

[00:23:50.658 – 00:23:51.078] morning.

[00:23:51.078 – 00:24:01.138] And by that time, Berkey and I were sitting at the table drinking coffee a lot and, uh, I said, “Hey, we need to help Burl, and we need to–” He said, “Oh,

[00:24:01.138 – 00:24:01.718] hell no.

[00:24:01.718 – 00:24:03.458] Don’t interrupt him.

[00:24:03.458 – 00:24:04.628] He can’t sit down.

[00:24:04.628 – 00:24:07.578] If he has a half a cup of coffee, he starts getting nervous.

[00:24:07.578 – 00:24:13.158] Just let him unload the whole truck.” Which he did by himself.

[00:24:13.158 – 00:24:20.858] And, uh, so we go back a long ways and, um, we used to celebrate anniversaries together.

[00:24:20.858 – 00:24:31.078] But I came to this great God-given, wonderful program that, uh, from the closed psychiatric ward out at Walter Reed Army General and, uh,

[00:24:31.078 – 00:24:32.518] I had been there nine days.

[00:24:32.518 – 00:24:36.878] I didn’t know what was going on and I, I shook the last drunk off.

[00:24:36.878 – 00:24:40.258] Uh, it was a pretty bad situation for me.

[00:24:40.258 – 00:24:46.778] Uh, I, I listened to Dave last night and, uh, and the road to alcoholism and what can happen.

[00:24:46.778 – 00:24:56.878] And, uh, if anybody’s new, just remember, I wanna pass on to you, I had to learn that, uh, we’re not in– we’re not comparing and, and

[00:24:56.878 – 00:24:58.538] seeing who’s got the worst story.

[00:24:58.538 – 00:25:00.678] That’s one of the things I learned in AA.

[00:25:00.678 – 00:25:03.378] We take a look at ourselves and see.

[00:25:03.378 – 00:25:08.318] My sponsor said, “Sit down on that chair over there and take a look at your life.

[00:25:08.318 – 00:25:18.738] And if it, uh, went bad because of drinking, and then through continued drinking it went from bad to worse, then perhaps you’re a guy that’s powerless over alcohol.”

[00:25:18.738 – 00:25:23.718] And I went over and sat down, which I thought was like twelve minutes.

[00:25:23.718 – 00:25:25.858] It was more like twenty-five seconds.

[00:25:25.858 – 00:25:28.618] And I went back over and I said, “I belong.

[00:25:28.618 – 00:25:34.238] I belong here.” So I, uh, I learned that I did not have to compare.

[00:25:34.238 – 00:25:37.838] But I was listening last night, and we heard Dave speak years ago.

[00:25:37.838 – 00:25:46.578] And, uh, I told Dave after the meeting, I– Goodness gracious, all these years I’ve been– It doesn’t matter what happens.

[00:25:46.578 – 00:25:51.038] What we hear here, what we do, is the great happening that takes place.

[00:25:51.038 – 00:25:57.838] So all these years went by, and I’ve sponsored a lot of guys over the years, and I’m telling them, “Hey, listen, I want you to go to the meeting and sit down.

[00:25:57.838 – 00:26:01.358] Don’t say anything.” I know a guy– Well, I didn’t know him.

[00:26:01.358 – 00:26:04.898] I heard him speak almost forty years ago.

[00:26:04.898 – 00:26:11.898] And I’m saying, “I know a guy that, uh,” “when he came to AA, they didn’t let him say a word for one year.

[00:26:11.898 – 00:26:21.918] And then on his first anniversary, they gave him a cake and said, ‘Tonight, you can say your name and introduce yourself as being an alcoholic, and

[00:26:21.918 – 00:26:26.938] that’s all we wanna hear out of you.'” Well, I heard last night that that was like at three months.

[00:26:26.938 – 00:26:30.578] But I’m not going back and change it with all those guys.

[00:26:30.578 – 00:26:32.458] I can tell you that.

[00:26:32.458 – 00:26:39.898] I was, uh, twelve-stepped by a man named Larry Rude that’s no longer with us.

[00:26:39.898 – 00:26:43.498] I called him from– when I got home from the closed psychiatric ward.

[00:26:43.498 – 00:26:47.118] He came to my house and, uh, I never will forget.

[00:26:47.118 – 00:26:51.798] I saw him coming up the walk, I said, “Oh, my Lord.” And, uh, I hooked the door.

[00:26:51.798 – 00:26:53.418] The screen door.

[00:26:53.418 – 00:27:02.058] And he walked up smiling and saw the whole scene and reached through the door where I’d knocked the screen out and unhooked it and came in.

[00:27:02.058 – 00:27:12.058] And, uh, I said, “Man, if he– Once he starts telling me, ‘If you love your kids, if you care about this, if you didn’t,’ I’m gonna, I’m gonna tell him to leave.”

[00:27:12.058 – 00:27:22.178] And he said, uh, “Let me tell you a little bit about myself.” And he talked for a little while about himself, and he got up and he said, “Would you like to go to a meeting?” And

[00:27:22.178 – 00:27:23.358] I said, “Yes, I would.

[00:27:23.358 – 00:27:27.918] Uh, I need about two weeks.” “I gotta find my clothes.

[00:27:27.918 – 00:27:37.538] I gotta, I gotta see about my job, and I gotta, uh, I gotta find out what happened, why I ended up in that closed psychiatric ward.

[00:27:37.538 – 00:27:47.798] And I’ve gotta help my wife with the kids.” Which they never saw me anyway, ’cause whenever my old car drove up, they scattered and went

[00:27:47.798 – 00:27:50.098] and hid in places.

[00:27:50.098 – 00:27:52.618] And, uh, he said– You know what?

[00:27:52.618 – 00:27:53.778] They’re just so brilliant.

[00:27:53.778 – 00:27:58.338] I’m not, I’m not saying I ever did this maybe more than once, but he was so brilliant.

[00:27:58.338 – 00:28:02.658] He said, uh, “You know, that’s a good idea.

[00:28:02.658 – 00:28:03.698] I understand that.

[00:28:03.698 – 00:28:08.778] But I tell you, the way we do it in this AAC, you called AA.

[00:28:08.778 – 00:28:18.978] And then they notified me, and I came out here.” Like right away, I’m saying, “Oh, Lord, there’s people been working behind the scenes to make

[00:28:18.978 – 00:28:29.018] all this happen.” And, uh, he said, uh, “So when– once we do that, you know, the rule, the guidelines are you go

[00:28:29.018 – 00:28:30.118] to a meeting that night.

[00:28:30.118 – 00:28:33.798] I’ll tell you what, now, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.

[00:28:33.798 – 00:28:38.338] I want– You don’t have to, uh, dress up, but you do need to be clean.

[00:28:38.338 – 00:28:48.397] Um, just be comfortable, and I’ll tell you what.” All the time he’s into getting in his car and started up, and he says, “I’ll be back about a quarter to eight.” And I s– And he

[00:28:48.398 – 00:28:49.078] drove off.

[00:28:49.078 – 00:28:53.938] And I said– I’ve cleaned it up over the years.

[00:28:53.938 – 00:29:03.998] I said, “That son of a gun is coming back.” And my ex, ’cause I too got divorced after a number of years in AA, she said, “Yes, he is.” And he

[00:29:03.998 – 00:29:05.658] came back, and I went to an AA meeting.

[00:29:05.658 – 00:29:15.690] He took me to one, and I don’t wanna ever forget the fact that if he had let me be in charge I probably never would have gotten here.

[00:29:15.690 – 00:29:18.870] I would have said I would always need two more weeks.

[00:29:18.870 – 00:29:20.290] I always had that.

[00:29:20.290 – 00:29:21.310] My life was like that.

[00:29:21.310 – 00:29:24.810] You’d be amazed at what I was gonna accomplish all my life.

[00:29:24.810 – 00:29:29.210] You just wait till next week when I decide to really get going.

[00:29:29.210 – 00:29:31.850] I’m gonna set this world on fire.

[00:29:31.850 – 00:29:41.870] And then at the bar, talking to somebody like Stu, you know, and crying in the booze, I’d be telling him, “Well, I just really didn’t have the opportunity.” Uh, I

[00:29:41.870 – 00:29:50.130] had some wonderful men that, uh, uh, that helped me to get sober and told me the truth in no uncertain terms.

[00:29:50.130 – 00:29:52.930] They told it, uh, it was sort of, uh…

[00:29:52.930 – 00:29:57.910] I would have– I watered it down over the years because I don’t like to, you know, I don’t know what it is.

[00:29:57.910 – 00:29:59.870] I don’t want to exaggerate or anything else.

[00:29:59.870 – 00:30:02.510] But they were very firm, to say the least.

[00:30:02.510 – 00:30:05.390] Uh, easy does it and, uh, serenity.

[00:30:05.390 – 00:30:12.490] Uh, I think that my sponsors, they became a little bit serene about things when they were in their coffins.

[00:30:12.490 – 00:30:21.950] Uh- They, they, they slept upset, and, uh, and, and, and gonna get me the next day about something.

[00:30:21.950 – 00:30:30.049] I wanna close with, uh, Stu and I went to New York, and we were very enthused about this whole program.

[00:30:30.049 – 00:30:30.950] We went to the meeting.

[00:30:30.950 – 00:30:34.470] We heard Bill Wilson speak, along with two other people.

[00:30:34.470 – 00:30:39.250] And, uh, I think there were three thousand five hundred people in the room.

[00:30:39.250 – 00:30:42.830] And, uh, we heard him speak, and then we went out.

[00:30:42.830 – 00:30:46.330] And, uh, a guy tried to panhandle us.

[00:30:46.330 – 00:30:57.010] He panhandled money from us on the street, but Stu said, “Don’t give him anything till we’ve told him the story.” And so we

[00:30:57.010 – 00:30:59.490] stood there, and we told him about meetings and all.

[00:30:59.490 – 00:31:06.450] And it was before people rolled their eyes, but I’m sure if they’d been rolling eyes, he would have done it after a while.

[00:31:06.450 – 00:31:10.510] But he left with a con– We gave him telephone numbers.

[00:31:10.510 – 00:31:14.440] Stu had drug him in a phone booth and got AA’s phone number.

[00:31:14.440 – 00:31:16.050] This guy was a street guy.

[00:31:16.050 – 00:31:18.549] Worse than Burl.

[00:31:18.549 – 00:31:23.490] And, uh, and, uh, I tell you what he said.

[00:31:23.490 – 00:31:30.110] He says, “Lord, help me.” “I was out here trying to make a living so I could get something to drink.

[00:31:30.110 – 00:31:40.190] And I stopped the only two sons of bitches in New York-” “-that wanna try to change my life.” And he stumbled

[00:31:40.190 – 00:31:40.450] on home.

[00:31:40.450 – 00:31:42.060] And you know what?

[00:31:42.060 – 00:31:42.970] We’re here today.

[00:31:42.970 – 00:31:47.390] And I think I’m about to get into his time, uh, and I can’t do that.

[00:31:47.390 – 00:31:51.829] With a lot of other people in this room, I can do it whenever I wanna do.

[00:31:51.829 – 00:31:58.889] And, uh, but he got here– we don’t know for sure if it was ninety-nine days or a hundred days before me.

[00:31:58.889 – 00:32:10.870] And, uh, every time it gets into the least little bit of something, he says, “Hey, hey, hey, hey.” “I was here a hundred days when you came in the door.” “Just

[00:32:10.870 – 00:32:17.750] like we told you then, you have to listen to the old-timers.” So out there he says, “Let me tell you something.

[00:32:17.750 – 00:32:20.290] If she only takes ten minutes, you get five.

[00:32:20.290 – 00:32:21.490] You don’t get the whole ten.

[00:32:21.490 – 00:32:27.630] You understand me?” I’m gonna give him his watch back and say, “God bless us all.” Thank you.

[00:32:27.630 – 00:32:38.610] Thank

[00:32:38.610 – 00:32:39.010] you, Jimmy.

[00:32:39.010 – 00:32:39.979] Thank you.

[00:32:39.979 – 00:32:41.770] We’re convinced you can have a lot of fun being sober.

[00:32:41.770 – 00:32:47.850] And, um, I remember I used to go to meetings one time, and, and I had an old lady walk up to me.

[00:32:47.850 – 00:32:55.410] She said, “Are you really happy, Stu?” I said, “Yeah.” She said, “When you gonna tell your face about it?” Don’t be afraid to smile and live and have a good time.

[00:32:55.410 – 00:32:58.110] And that’s what we’ve been having here, uh, this weekend.

[00:32:58.110 – 00:33:05.830] I remember I sobered about seven, eight years, seven or eight years, and, um, I was in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and, well, Millie Copeland was there.

[00:33:05.830 – 00:33:08.310] And her and I was laying up on the beach.

[00:33:08.310 – 00:33:10.250] We were like a couple beach whales rolling up there.

[00:33:10.250 – 00:33:20.470] And- I said, “Millie, I don’t hear the things I used to hear seven, eight years ago.” She said, “Then why don’t you say them?” And a lot of people in this room are saying, “I don’t hear the things I used to,

[00:33:20.470 – 00:33:24.810] used to hear.” And, uh, she said, “It was good enough to get you sober and keep you sober.

[00:33:24.810 – 00:33:27.570] It’s good enough for the next guy or gal.” And that’s the message.

[00:33:27.570 – 00:33:28.810] We only have one story to tell.

[00:33:28.810 – 00:33:30.889] And, uh, I was very blessed.

[00:33:30.889 – 00:33:34.570] Uh, the same man took me to my first meeting that took Jimmy, a guy named Larry Rood.

[00:33:34.570 – 00:33:35.590] He died sober.

[00:33:35.590 – 00:33:39.469] And, um, I happened to be coming off of a bad drunk.

[00:33:39.469 – 00:33:45.510] I was twenty-three years of age and, uh, reached a point I was thinking about committing suicide.

[00:33:45.510 – 00:33:46.730] Didn’t have the courage to do it.

[00:33:46.730 – 00:33:50.810] And I ended up into a little church in Pasadena on, off of Ritchie Highway.

[00:33:50.810 – 00:33:52.390] Never been to that church before.

[00:33:52.390 – 00:34:02.430] And, um, went in and talked to the minister of the church, and he said, uh, “You got a lot of problems.” He said, “But your biggest problem is you’re drunk.” He said, “I can’t help you

[00:34:02.430 – 00:34:09.690] with your marriage or your finances or anything else until you gotta get sober.” And he said, “I got a member of my congregation who’s a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.”

[00:34:10.657 – 00:34:11.917] And maybe this guy could help you.

[00:34:11.917 – 00:34:17.117] I went to my first meeting in nineteen sixty-four, right before my twenty-fourth birthday.

[00:34:17.117 – 00:34:23.177] And, uh, went in that first room, and I looked around, and it looked like everybody was a hundred years old.

[00:34:23.177 – 00:34:27.077] Everybody looked like they– if they had hair, it was white.

[00:34:27.077 – 00:34:36.977] And, uh, God bless you, Carol, there was very few women back in the early sixties ’cause it was looked as a disease and not a, uh, not a– it was looked at a disgrace and not as the disease.

[00:34:36.977 – 00:34:40.737] And so most meetings in my area, you were lucky to see one or two women.

[00:34:40.737 – 00:34:45.717] It’s so wonderful seeing so many women in Alcoholics Anonymous today, how it’s blossomed and grown.

[00:34:45.717 – 00:34:52.337] And, um, he took my first meeting, and, and I just– I didn’t know what I got myself involved in.

[00:34:52.337 – 00:34:54.417] But like Jimmy, he didn’t give me a choice.

[00:34:54.417 – 00:35:02.397] He didn’t ask me, “Do you wanna go to a meeting?” He said, “I will pick you up tonight at, like, eight o’clock for an eight-thirty meeting.” And I went.

[00:35:02.397 – 00:35:07.017] And, uh, after I was in there a few days, I’m thinking, “Man, these people are really serious about not drinking.

[00:35:07.017 – 00:35:13.836] I gotta get out of here.” In fact, he took, he took me home from a meeting, my, like, second or third meeting.

[00:35:13.836 – 00:35:16.716] It was a Friday night meeting from the Glen Burnie group.

[00:35:16.716 – 00:35:26.717] He said, uh– I said, “Where’s all the young people in AA?” He said, “Well, they’re around.” He says, “But, uh, right now,” he said, “I’ve got a tape of a young speaker, and

[00:35:26.717 – 00:35:28.717] maybe you can identify with him.” And they didn’t have a cassette.

[00:35:28.717 – 00:35:31.057] They had these old reel-to-reel tapes back in the sixties.

[00:35:31.057 – 00:35:36.017] He goes home, hooks all these reels up and- -the reel just spinning around.

[00:35:36.017 – 00:35:40.777] I’m a couple days sober, and Minerva, his wife, fixed me a bowl of, uh, ice cream with Jimmy’s on top.

[00:35:40.777 – 00:35:44.917] And she had this daggone Persian cat jumping all around the room on the furniture.

[00:35:44.917 – 00:35:48.417] And I’m trying to eat this ice cream and watch this cat and listen to this tape.

[00:35:48.417 – 00:36:01.097] And- -I’m thinking, “Hell, this is what AA is gonna be about for a young person in AA on a Friday night, sitting around eating ice cream and just getting old and watching cats and listening to reels.” Anyway,

[00:36:01.097 – 00:36:05.117] cut a long story short, I didn’t stay sober because, uh, I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober.

[00:36:05.117 – 00:36:09.677] I, uh, I’m one of these guys who wouldn’t let go of old ideas, people, places, things.

[00:36:09.677 – 00:36:19.846] After coming into AA, I went back to drinking and, uh, and they can– they told me anything that happens that can happen to you if you’re a drunk, uh, hasn’t happened

[00:36:19.846 – 00:36:20.137] to you yet.

[00:36:20.137 – 00:36:21.657] You keep drinking, it will happen.

[00:36:21.657 – 00:36:24.997] And, uh, it took me almost two years to get back to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:36:24.997 – 00:36:28.617] And I came back to March twelfth, nineteen sixty-six, a day at a time.

[00:36:28.617 – 00:36:31.477] And I thank God that people, uh, for the old-timers.

[00:36:31.477 – 00:36:33.997] And, and, um, I love old-timers in AA.

[00:36:33.997 – 00:36:35.187] In fact, I asked my sponsor.

[00:36:35.187 – 00:36:36.417] I kept hearing the word old-timer.

[00:36:36.417 – 00:36:43.557] I said, “What’s an old-timer?” He said, “Anybody sober longer than you is an old-timer.” And, uh, you guys think about it.

[00:36:43.557 – 00:36:48.197] We came in, and, uh, I, I just marvel at people like Dave and people like that in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:36:48.197 – 00:36:51.417] When we came in, Bill Wilson was in his– only had thirty-one years sobriety.

[00:36:51.417 – 00:36:56.077] And looking at people in AA today with over thirty-one years of sobriety, how blessed we are.

[00:36:56.077 – 00:36:59.957] But, uh, the same thing we did then is the same thing we do today.

[00:36:59.957 – 00:37:00.557] We don’t drink.

[00:37:00.557 – 00:37:01.317] We go to meetings.

[00:37:01.317 – 00:37:03.937] We pray, clean house, and try to pass it on.

[00:37:03.937 – 00:37:08.397] In fact, when we went and saw Bill Wilson at his anniversary, we had a chance to shake his hand and say a few words to him.

[00:37:08.397 – 00:37:18.437] And all I said was, uh, I, I said, “Bill, I wanna thank you for letting God use you as the instrument to find the program to save my life.” And all he said was,

[00:37:18.437 – 00:37:21.677] “Pass it on.” That’s what we’re here for, to pass it on.

[00:37:21.677 – 00:37:23.917] And, uh, action’s the magic word.

[00:37:23.917 – 00:37:27.457] I found there’s a big difference between being, being around AA and being in AA.

[00:37:27.457 – 00:37:30.077] It’s sort of like your bed upstairs in your room.

[00:37:30.077 – 00:37:34.837] You– If your room– If you can’t pull it out in the middle of the floor, you can walk around that bed all night long.

[00:37:34.837 – 00:37:40.197] You stand back and look at it, get in there and smell it, touch it.

[00:37:40.197 – 00:37:41.677] It don’t mean nothing till you get in it.

[00:37:41.677 – 00:37:43.657] And AA is the same thing.

[00:37:43.657 – 00:37:46.297] I had to get in AA this time instead of just coming around AA.

[00:37:46.297 – 00:37:47.857] I joined Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:37:47.857 – 00:37:52.317] And, um, get a sobriety date and just get active.

[00:37:52.317 – 00:37:53.557] Action’s the magic word.

[00:37:53.557 – 00:38:01.197] And, uh, because I was twenty-five when I got sober, it wasn’t long before all the old drunks would give me all the young drunks.

[00:38:01.197 – 00:38:04.717] And I’d be hauling all the– And I didn’t have a car for my first year in AA.

[00:38:04.717 – 00:38:11.297] In fact, I asked my sponsor, “How am I gonna stay sober without a car?” He said, “You didn’t need, you didn’t need a car to get drunk.

[00:38:11.297 – 00:38:16.867] You don’t need a car to get sober.” “You stand on the corner, we’ll pick you up, or you catch a bus, or you walk or hitchhike.

[00:38:16.867 – 00:38:23.657] But you get to the meetings, we’ll get you home.” And, uh, here again, I went like my first three years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I never missed a day of going to meetings.

[00:38:23.657 – 00:38:25.417] I got active.

[00:38:25.417 – 00:38:26.107] I got involved.

[00:38:26.107 – 00:38:27.716] I started working with all these young drunks.

[00:38:27.716 – 00:38:29.537] And I’d pick up a young drunk.

[00:38:29.537 – 00:38:33.477] And what’s, what’s fascinating is I’d pick up a young– bunch of young drunks I’m hauling around in my car.

[00:38:33.477 – 00:38:42.697] And the first thing they say, “Where’s all the young drunks at?” I’d say, “Hell, they go to Dundalk on Tuesday night.” And we go down to Dundalk.

[00:38:42.697 – 00:38:46.777] There was no young drunks, maybe one or two popping in and out here and there, staying sober.

[00:38:46.777 – 00:38:51.137] And, uh, I said– they said, “Where are they at?” I said, “Well, maybe they go to Catonsville Friday night step meeting.

[00:38:51.137 – 00:38:55.137] We’ll do Catonsville Friday.” I told my sponsor.

[00:38:55.137 – 00:38:56.147] I said I wasn’t lying to him.

[00:38:56.147 – 00:38:58.097] I was romancing the truth a little bit.

[00:38:58.097 – 00:39:02.517] By just trying to buy him some time, make him– AA doesn’t really mean anything.

[00:39:02.517 – 00:39:07.197] And, uh, now what’s funny is forty years ago, I worked with a lot of old drunks.

[00:39:07.197 – 00:39:11.077] I bring them in a typical meeting like a room meeting like this today.

[00:39:11.077 – 00:39:11.767] And they look around.

[00:39:11.767 – 00:39:13.797] The first thing they say is, “Where’s all the old drunks at?

[00:39:13.797 – 00:39:17.377] All I see is young people.” I say, “Hell, they go to Dundalk.

[00:39:17.377 – 00:39:26.437] We’ll go down to Dundalk Tuesday night.” So age really doesn’t have anything to do with it.

[00:39:26.437 – 00:39:29.737] And, um, but just get active and get involved.

[00:39:29.737 – 00:39:31.477] Join Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:39:31.477 – 00:39:37.297] It’s the little basic things, the opportunity of looking back in your life and seeing, you know, how things happen.

[00:39:37.297 – 00:39:38.537] I got sober.

[00:39:38.537 – 00:39:41.977] I, I went to Bill Wilson’s anniversary, and I met a bunch of young guys from Boston.

[00:39:41.977 – 00:39:50.757] And they said, uh, “How’s your young peoples in Maryland?” I said, “We don’t have one.” They said, “Well, go back and start one.” In nineteen sixty-six, we started the under thirty-five group.

[00:39:50.757 – 00:39:54.437] And there’s a lot of products in Alcoholics Anonymous that, uh, that came out of that group.

[00:39:54.437 – 00:39:56.017] It was a young people’s group.

[00:39:56.017 – 00:39:59.097] And we’re no different in those days than you are today.

[00:39:59.097 – 00:39:59.957] We– I’d go to meetings.

[00:39:59.957 – 00:40:00.717] I was young.

[00:40:00.717 – 00:40:03.457] And, um, hell, I think I still had some pimples and everything else.

[00:40:03.457 – 00:40:12.537] And, um- -I had these old-timers that say, “Hey, we spilt more than you drank,” or, “I spilt more of my tithe than you ever drank.” And, uh, I’m thinking, “You said, uh, you spilt more than I drank.

[00:40:12.537 – 00:40:15.417] You must’ve been one hell of a sloppy drinker.” You know?

[00:40:15.417 – 00:40:16.697] ‘Cause I drank a lot of booze.

[00:40:16.697 – 00:40:22.105] And, uh, but just, but s- but just getting active and getting involved.

[00:40:22.105 – 00:40:24.665] And, uh, that’s the magic word.

[00:40:24.665 – 00:40:26.145] Keeping it simple.

[00:40:26.145 – 00:40:31.525] And, uh, we started that down to thirty-five group, and it got me active, got me involved.

[00:40:31.525 – 00:40:40.785] And, um, in fact, Jimmy’s sponsor, Bill Burke, God bless his soul, uh, he really challenged me one night at the Chip House.

[00:40:40.785 – 00:40:42.755] That’s the closest I came to getting into a fight in AA.

[00:40:42.755 – 00:40:44.825] About our young people’s group.

[00:40:44.825 – 00:40:54.965] He said, “Isn’t our AA good enough for you?” I said, “Well, we’s– we’re just trying to start something for recognition for young people.” And, uh, he said, “Can I be a member of that group?” And I didn’t know nothing about tradition.

[00:40:54.965 – 00:40:56.065] I was six months sober.

[00:40:56.065 – 00:41:01.045] All I knew was anybody could be a member of any group they wanna be.

[00:41:01.045 – 00:41:01.605] And I said, “Yeah.

[00:41:01.605 – 00:41:07.945] In fact, let us know if you wanna come over there, and we’ll put a big red carpet out and stand there and throw flowers on you when you come into the meeting,” you know.

[00:41:07.945 – 00:41:13.065] He said, “You ain’t gotta worry about me coming over there.” We almost got into a fight.

[00:41:13.065 – 00:41:16.145] And, uh, we didn’t speak to each other for almost two years.

[00:41:16.145 – 00:41:18.445] And there weren’t many meetings back in those days.

[00:41:18.445 – 00:41:20.145] I’d see him all the time.

[00:41:20.145 – 00:41:22.845] And we would sort of just avoid each other.

[00:41:22.845 – 00:41:32.965] And I’ll never forget, I was in Glen Burnie one night, right around, right after, you know, around Christmastime, and he walks up to me and he said, “I wanna thank you for that Christmas card you sent me.” I didn’t send him a Christmas card.

[00:41:32.965 – 00:41:37.085] Jimmy or somebody sent him a Christmas card and signed my name to it.

[00:41:37.085 – 00:41:44.165] And I says, “Well, that’s okay.

[00:41:44.165 – 00:41:54.825] Merry Christmas.” He said, “What are you doing next Saturday night?” I said, “Nothing.” He said, “How about going down to Smyrna, Delaware, with me and, and speaking with me at a meeting?” I said, “I’d love to.” And we became the best of best friends,

[00:41:54.825 – 00:41:58.785] to the point that he asked me to be a– his, his family asked me to be a pallbearer at his funeral.

[00:41:58.785 – 00:42:01.805] So it’s amazing how things can turn around sometime, you know.

[00:42:01.805 – 00:42:04.025] Uh, uh, what can happen to us in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:42:04.025 – 00:42:05.265] I had a great sponsor.

[00:42:05.265 – 00:42:07.625] I’ve had great sponsors in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:42:07.625 – 00:42:11.785] I got a great sponsor today, a guy named Bill Da- Bill Davis.

[00:42:11.785 – 00:42:15.125] And he’ll have forty-five years come up in, uh, August.

[00:42:15.125 – 00:42:19.085] But, uh, what’s amazing is here I got involved in all this young people stuff.

[00:42:19.085 – 00:42:20.885] Now I’m involved in old people stuff.

[00:42:20.885 – 00:42:23.505] My home group is Curtis Bay Noon Meeting.

[00:42:23.505 – 00:42:25.445] We meet at Monday at, at noon.

[00:42:25.445 – 00:42:29.245] We’ve been meeting at an old bar called The Flamingo Lounge.

[00:42:29.245 – 00:42:34.545] Used to be called The Flamingo Lounge in, in Brooklyn, and, uh, that’s our home group now.

[00:42:34.545 – 00:42:37.205] The, uh, church bought the building, turned it into a community center.

[00:42:37.205 – 00:42:40.345] And, uh, a lot of us guys at my age, we drank in that place.

[00:42:40.345 – 00:42:43.744] And now I’m in, like, an old-timers meeting.

[00:42:43.744 – 00:42:48.245] You know, we got twenty-two members in our group with four hundred and sixty-eight years of sobriety.

[00:42:48.245 – 00:42:49.265] Wow.

[00:42:49.265 – 00:42:51.565] And then we have Big George and Carol come there every Monday.

[00:42:51.565 – 00:42:54.025] And Mike, and, and, and, and, uh, Bill and Brenda.

[00:42:54.025 – 00:42:55.605] We have so many other people show up there.

[00:42:55.605 – 00:42:59.445] It’s a great place, uh, for, you know, new people to be exposed to old-time AA.

[00:42:59.445 – 00:43:02.925] And they’re saying the same thing today they said forty years ago.

[00:43:02.925 – 00:43:05.125] The only difference is, is I have a lot more meetings.

[00:43:05.125 – 00:43:09.085] I was over in the archives, and I usually carry a, a little pamphlet with me.

[00:43:09.085 – 00:43:12.225] Um, and I left mine home in my other suit pocket.

[00:43:12.225 – 00:43:18.125] And, um, but I carry a pamphlet with me most of the time when I travel around AA.

[00:43:18.125 – 00:43:20.415] From 1966 when I got sober.

[00:43:20.415 – 00:43:22.865] This is a pamphlet from 1967.

[00:43:22.865 – 00:43:28.105] This is it.

[00:43:28.105 – 00:43:33.825] That’s all the meetings we had in Baltimore, Northeast, Laurel, Annapolis, all the surrounding areas.

[00:43:33.825 – 00:43:37.265] I guess there was one meeting a week in Annapolis.

[00:43:37.265 – 00:43:43.405] Today they have their own intergroup, and there’s over three hundred and twenty groups listed in that directory.

[00:43:43.405 – 00:43:46.565] It’s just amazing how AA has grown.

[00:43:46.565 – 00:43:48.185] It’s unbelievable.

[00:43:48.185 – 00:43:52.184] And it’s part of our responsibility to keep it going and keep it, to keep it growing.

[00:43:52.184 – 00:43:56.785] And what I loved about in the beginning, and, and, uh, it was so intimate, so personal in the beginning.

[00:43:56.785 – 00:44:02.405] Like, there was, like, one meeting a week in, in, um, Sarona Park, one in Annapolis, one in Brooklyn.

[00:44:02.405 – 00:44:03.505] Two in Brooklyn.

[00:44:03.505 – 00:44:06.085] And, well, we would see each other at all the meetings.

[00:44:06.085 – 00:44:08.795] And nobody could, like, sneak in and out of AA.

[00:44:08.795 – 00:44:11.465] I mean, today there’s so many meetings.

[00:44:11.465 – 00:44:14.985] Some of them are so big, you could really be anonymous in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:44:14.985 – 00:44:19.005] There’s probably people that’s never spoken a word in AA, and they’re coming there for years.

[00:44:19.005 – 00:44:25.325] But back in those days, it was very personal, very, very, um, it was very close, very intimate.

[00:44:25.325 – 00:44:35.245] To the point that if we went to a meeting in Glen Burnie on Friday, and, and we went to Saturday, and we didn’t see, like, Charlie at the meeting, we would call up and say, “Charlie, we didn’t see you at the meetings last night, the last two nights.

[00:44:35.245 – 00:44:37.925] Are you okay?” It was so much more personal.

[00:44:37.925 – 00:44:42.805] And I– that’s the, the type of AA I was, I was led into and that I was taught.

[00:44:42.805 – 00:44:45.965] I was in AA seven days.

[00:44:45.965 – 00:44:50.765] I was at a meeting in Annapolis not too long ago, and a girl was there with five years sobriety.

[00:44:50.765 – 00:44:53.785] And I said, “Well, h-how many people are you working with?” She said, “I’m not ready yet.

[00:44:53.785 – 00:45:01.885] I haven’t worked all the steps.” I said, “What the hell are you waiting for?” And I was in AA, like, seven days, and my sponsor said, “Hey, there’s a new man.

[00:45:01.885 – 00:45:04.595] Go talk to him.” I said, “What am I gonna tell him?

[00:45:04.595 – 00:45:05.325] He got two years.

[00:45:05.325 – 00:45:09.005] You talk to him.” He said, “He doesn’t have seven days.

[00:45:09.005 – 00:45:14.545] Tell him about your seven days.” Bill Wilson didn’t wait till he worked all twelve steps before he started working with drunks.

[00:45:14.545 – 00:45:23.185] And the process of working with drunks, what’s a beautiful part about it is, my sponsor’s name was Ed when I came back and got sober.

[00:45:23.185 – 00:45:24.195] And Ed was good AA.

[00:45:24.195 – 00:45:26.805] He quit after I was sober for a couple years.

[00:45:26.805 – 00:45:28.105] He quit going to meetings and everything.

[00:45:28.105 – 00:45:29.925] And, um, but he was good AA.

[00:45:29.925 – 00:45:32.445] And I wanted to be just like Ed.

[00:45:32.445 – 00:45:34.715] And so I started imitating Ed.

[00:45:34.715 – 00:45:37.724] I didn’t know who I was, so maybe I’ll be like Ed.

[00:45:37.724 – 00:45:43.825] And Ed would say something at a meeting, and everybody would say, “Man, Ed, you really sounded good tonight.” I would think, “Wow.

[00:45:43.825 – 00:45:45.005] I said that.

[00:45:45.005 – 00:45:51.164] Maybe they’ll say that about me.” So I started traveling with Ed all the time, and he’d speak, and I’d speak, and it was like little Ed and big Ed.

[00:45:51.164 – 00:45:56.885] And he said, “You gotta work with new people.” And I started working with new people.

[00:45:56.885 – 00:45:58.565] And they’d ask me a stupid question.

[00:45:58.565 – 00:46:07.385] And I’d s– ask– I’d tell them something like, “Well, first things first.” And they’d say, “What’s that mean?” I’m thinking, “Hell, Ed didn’t tell me that part.” Now I gotta find out what that means.

[00:46:07.385 – 00:46:08.325] Get the big book here.

[00:46:08.325 – 00:46:12.905] I said, “You gotta take the third step.” “What’s that?” Now I gotta find out what the third step is.

[00:46:12.905 – 00:46:17.305] And in the process of working with a lot of the people, you learn about yourself, you know.

[00:46:17.305 – 00:46:21.465] And in my thirties– So I worked with a lot of drunks my first three years in AA, a lot of young people.

[00:46:21.465 – 00:46:30.976] And on my, on my third anniversary in AA, I guarantee you I must have 12-stepped and, and worked with over 100 young– maybe over, well over 100 young people.

[00:46:30.976 – 00:46:34.337] But on my third anniversary it wasn’t day one I’m sober.

[00:46:34.337 – 00:46:36.217] But I was.

[00:46:36.217 – 00:46:39.737] See, I was trying to get them sober through the grace of Stu.

[00:46:39.737 – 00:46:44.877] They’re gonna do it my way, and my way didn’t work.

[00:46:44.877 – 00:46:50.057] And the men I let go, I said, “If you get service through the grace of God, and, uh, that’s, that’s all we can do.

[00:46:50.057 – 00:46:57.277] I’m not responsible for you.” Hell, I was getting them jobs and everything else, and, um, despite me, they started staying sober after that.

[00:46:57.277 – 00:47:03.737] But it’s been the most fascinating thing that’s happened in my life, is getting sober, staying sober in AA, staying active in AA.

[00:47:03.737 – 00:47:05.117] Active’s the magic word.

[00:47:05.117 – 00:47:07.477] Hook yourself up to a sober star.

[00:47:07.477 – 00:47:09.277] Go to meetings.

[00:47:09.277 – 00:47:11.897] Don’t be afraid to give your telephone number.

[00:47:11.897 – 00:47:17.017] My big thing that I’m– the kick I’m on today is, is, um, trying to work with new people.

[00:47:17.017 – 00:47:20.897] And a lot of time we get sober, and we get very comfortable in our sobriety.

[00:47:20.897 – 00:47:23.077] And I’ve just asked a couple simple questions this morning.

[00:47:23.077 – 00:47:25.637] When’s the last time you worked with a new person?

[00:47:25.637 – 00:47:29.997] When’s the last time you even gave your telephone number to a new person?

[00:47:29.997 – 00:47:34.517] When’s the last time you quit talking about the oil game over here to go talk to a new man over there?

[00:47:34.517 – 00:47:41.377] Say, “He doesn’t know what it’s like to be sober yet.” You stay sober, your life can get so exciting.

[00:47:41.377 – 00:47:49.077] I hear people today talking about, “Well, the price of gas ain’t– I, I, I don’t think I can afford to go to meetings.” Hell, you can’t afford not to go.

[00:47:49.077 – 00:47:51.917] We said the same thing when I got– so you know what?

[00:47:51.917 – 00:47:54.957] The price of gas in 1966 was thirty-two cents a gallon.

[00:47:54.957 – 00:48:01.687] The guys was saying, “Gets up to thirty-five cents, I don’t know if I can go to meetings.” You know?

[00:48:01.687 – 00:48:03.097] You, you know what’s really fascinating?

[00:48:03.097 – 00:48:05.217] And, and Carol talked about it.

[00:48:05.217 – 00:48:07.197] We got dressed up when we went to meetings back in those days.

[00:48:07.197 – 00:48:09.457] Hell, we wore shirts and ties to meetings, and the girls wore dresses.

[00:48:09.457 – 00:48:10.137] I mean, it was great.

[00:48:10.137 – 00:48:11.437] It was fascinating.

[00:48:11.437 – 00:48:18.257] And it felt good to dress up and clean up and, uh, to be active and be involved like that.

[00:48:18.257 – 00:48:22.437] But, uh, just to go to meetings and have a lot of fun.

[00:48:22.437 – 00:48:23.517] Get excited about it.

[00:48:23.517 – 00:48:25.037] Get enthused about being sober.

[00:48:25.037 – 00:48:29.657] I’m convinced if you don’t stay enthused about getting, getting sober and staying sober, you may get enthused about drinking.

[00:48:29.657 – 00:48:32.457] And I can’t afford that luxury in my life today.

[00:48:32.457 – 00:48:38.597] I love the fact that I’m sober through the grace of God just for today, but it feels good to have a lot of sobriety.

[00:48:38.597 – 00:48:40.196] A lot of nice things can happen to you.

[00:48:40.196 – 00:48:42.937] I came in, and my children were– I’ll, I’ll wrap it up with this.

[00:48:42.937 – 00:48:50.957] My children were– My son was seven and a half years of age, and, uh, he’s now gonna be forty-eight in July.

[00:48:50.957 – 00:48:53.757] My daughter was like three and a half.

[00:48:53.757 – 00:48:56.997] I’d say she’s forty-three, going on forty-four this year.

[00:48:56.997 – 00:49:02.697] I had two little kids sitting here, and, and we– and Nancy and I was like the babies of AA.

[00:49:02.697 – 00:49:12.697] And now here it is, years go by, Nancy’s passed away, and I’ve got, uh, I’ve got eight grandchildren, and I got six

[00:49:12.737 – 00:49:13.737] great-grandchildren.

[00:49:13.737 – 00:49:17.177] And, uh, we started young where I, where I live.

[00:49:17.177 – 00:49:28.297] People say, “Hell, don’t you– didn’t you have sex education in high school?” I say, “Yeah, we called it recess.” Hell,

[00:49:28.297 – 00:49:31.257] I was a, I, I was a father when I was seventeen years old.

[00:49:31.257 – 00:49:37.837] And, um, my son d– I, I t– no matter how much I talked to him, he did the exact same thing.

[00:49:37.837 – 00:49:39.917] He graduated from high school on Thursday.

[00:49:39.917 – 00:49:41.356] His wife had a baby on Saturday.

[00:49:41.356 – 00:49:47.017] And, uh, then his– at least his kids were a little smarter than we were, so, uh, they’ve held up a little bit, so, uh.

[00:49:47.017 – 00:49:48.797] But life is exciting.

[00:49:48.797 – 00:49:51.417] And, uh, it’s, it’s amazing how you come here.

[00:49:51.417 – 00:49:54.457] You’re so active, so involved, and you watch things go by, time goes by.

[00:49:54.457 – 00:49:57.997] And I just came off of a vacation, uh, Thursday night, and, um…

[00:49:57.997 – 00:50:02.237] But to have a grandson and great-grandchildren.

[00:50:02.237 – 00:50:05.697] And, and, uh, Dave’s talking about his grandchildren last night.

[00:50:05.697 – 00:50:16.037] They know no thrill in the world like going to your grandchildren’s, uh, elementary grandparents day

[00:50:16.037 – 00:50:26.057] and walk in the room for your little grandchild’s grandparents day and have your little granddaughter jump up and run across the room and tell everybody, “There’s my Pop Pop.” “Man, I got

[00:50:26.057 – 00:50:28.497] the best Pop Pop in the world.” How blessed are we?

[00:50:28.497 – 00:50:29.857] How blessed are we?

[00:50:29.857 – 00:50:34.497] And you know you can lose it all and, and, and, and miss it all by taking one damn drink.

[00:50:34.497 – 00:50:36.337] One drink and it’s all gone.

[00:50:36.337 – 00:50:42.337] So I wanna thank you for allowing us to come up here and share a little bit about, um, doing an old-timers panel.

[00:50:42.337 – 00:50:46.877] And, um, I wanna thank all the old-timers that were here before us and led us the path.

[00:50:46.877 – 00:50:51.457] And like I said before, I’ve had some great, great sponsors over the years, guys and gals.

[00:50:51.457 – 00:50:53.657] I know they’re in a big meeting in the sky, if there is a place.

[00:50:53.657 – 00:51:03.677] And I wanna thank all you following us behind, who’s also treading that same path and trying to pass it on and keeping it good and keep it fresh and keep it right for the next

[00:51:03.677 – 00:51:04.317] young person.

[00:51:04.317 – 00:51:06.117] Your grandchildren are my grandchildren.

[00:51:06.117 – 00:51:09.177] If they come here, they’ll find the same thing that you found here.

[00:51:09.177 – 00:51:11.317] God bless you, and thank you for letting us do this meeting.

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