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[00:00:00.280 – 00:00:00.740] Thank you.

[00:00:00.740 – 00:00:02.380] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:02.380 – 00:00:04.160] My name is David A., and I am an alcoholic.

[00:00:04.160 – 00:00:05.030] Hi, David.

[00:00:05.030 – 00:00:14.200] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have not found it necessary to, nor have I taken a drink of an alcoholic nature since April the 20th, 1967.

[00:00:14.200 – 00:00:15.700] And for this, I am so thankful.

[00:00:15.700 – 00:00:21.790] Whoo.

[00:00:21.790 – 00:00:31.840] I’ve already thanked the committee once, but I’m going to thank them again for allowing both Grace and myself to be here this weekend, and this has been a, a, a tremendous, tremendous weekend up

[00:00:31.840 – 00:00:32.980] to right to this second.

[00:00:32.980 – 00:00:40.240] And don’t be embarrassed about whether you made the decision to go to the men’s room or not, and you feel you made the wrong decision.

[00:00:40.240 – 00:00:45.140] I’ve been to the men’s room so many time this morning, the last time I just stood there, you know?

[00:00:45.140 – 00:00:54.280] The only thing I know about being an alcoholic is how to drink alcohol.

[00:00:54.280 – 00:01:04.670] And when I tell anyone, any place, anywhere that in AA or out of AA, that means that I fit every word, every line, every comma, every period, every paragraph in the page in the book of Alcoholics

[00:01:04.670 – 00:01:05.260] Anonymous.

[00:01:05.260 – 00:01:10.020] And the only way I know how to live sober is the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:01:10.020 – 00:01:11.700] I know other, no, no other way.

[00:01:11.700 – 00:01:21.820] And since April the 20th of 1967, I have not found any reason whatever to leave Alcoholics Anonymous, to find an easier way to live sober, a more sociably acceptable

[00:01:21.820 – 00:01:26.620] way to live sober, a more fun way to live sober, nor a more exciting way to live sober.

[00:01:26.620 – 00:01:33.640] Thank God I haven’t had to go to one of those action-reaction courses, Confrontation Movement, Related Disorders Institute.

[00:01:33.640 – 00:01:37.820] When I got to you people, my wife was a related disorder.

[00:01:37.820 – 00:01:42.800] Hang in there till your drawers fall off, baby.

[00:01:42.800 – 00:01:44.860] Sexual dysfunction seminars.

[00:01:44.860 – 00:01:53.580] I’ll tell you, if you get as old as I am and has been so- been able to stay sober only by the greatest, today I do not need a sexual dysfunction seminar.

[00:01:53.580 – 00:01:57.160] I need a memory course.

[00:01:57.160 – 00:02:02.720] Now, we hear a lot of things in AA today.

[00:02:02.720 – 00:02:04.420] You know, AA doesn’t change.

[00:02:04.420 – 00:02:11.200] People that come to it said, you know, that I’m an adult child of an alcoholic dog, cat, snake, kangaroo, mynah bird, zebra.

[00:02:11.200 – 00:02:11.960] You know?

[00:02:11.960 – 00:02:16.299] I’ll let you know right up front, I’m an adult spouse of an Al-Anon.

[00:02:16.299 – 00:02:26.020] Well, you know, our stories is closed in a general way, what we used to be like, what hap- what we’re like now.

[00:02:26.020 – 00:02:36.040] It was on the last Sunday in August of 1950, over forty-three years ago, that a group of fine, sober members of

[00:02:36.040 – 00:02:41.860] Alcoholics Anonymous invited me to come to an open AA meeting at the Suburban Group in Dallas, Texas.

[00:02:41.860 – 00:02:50.540] The Wednesday before that Sunday, I stumbled into one of Dallas’ more affluent barbershops, and I fell in this chair at this manicurist table.

[00:02:50.540 – 00:02:51.860] Now, I was more at myself.

[00:02:51.860 – 00:02:56.740] Now, being more at myself in those days meant that I, I, I, I wasn’t too drunk.

[00:02:56.740 – 00:02:59.460] I could sit in a chair for about ten minutes without falling out of it.

[00:02:59.460 – 00:03:04.340] I could navigate to and from the men’s room and go out and get me another bottle of whiskey.

[00:03:04.340 – 00:03:10.240] I sat down, and this ugly gal looked at me, and she said, “David,” and right there and then I should have known something’s wrong.

[00:03:10.240 – 00:03:11.340] She didn’t call me Doctor.

[00:03:11.340 – 00:03:20.820] She said, “David, I belong to a deal called Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have not had a drink of alcohol in a year.” And I looked at Edith, and I said, “You are a liar.

[00:03:20.820 – 00:03:23.519] Nobody stays sober a year.

[00:03:23.519 – 00:03:31.060] Maybe a day, maybe two da- at the most three days, but not, not a year.” She said, “I haven’t had a drink in a year.” Now, Edith looked like a drunk ought to look like.

[00:03:31.060 – 00:03:39.680] She had big bug eyes and gaps in her teeth, and God bless her, her nose had been broken so many times, it sort of leaned on the left side of her face.

[00:03:39.680 – 00:03:43.400] And this is back in the day before the gals used to wear pantyhose.

[00:03:43.400 – 00:03:47.540] They used to wear garter belts, you know, to pull their drawers down and hold their socks up.

[00:03:47.540 – 00:03:52.520] And when she was drinking, hers always trailed behind her uniform.

[00:03:52.520 – 00:03:54.780] She’d trip and fall and drop all those manicuring bottles.

[00:03:54.780 – 00:03:59.960] Back in those days, the gals used to wear hose with the seams up the back.

[00:03:59.960 – 00:04:02.280] You could always tell when Edith’s were drunk.

[00:04:02.280 – 00:04:04.140] The seams in the front, the front was in the back.

[00:04:04.140 – 00:04:14.400] Now, the best way really I can describe Edith’s looks as a drunk, in our part of the country and also in this part of the country, if your car is ever caught out in a hailstorm

[00:04:14.400 – 00:04:22.140] and it’s pretty badly beaten up, right when you get your insurance check, if you have insurance, some wise buzzard says, “Ah, don’t get it fixed.

[00:04:22.140 – 00:04:27.880] Let it sit out in the hot sun for about three or four weeks, and all the dents will pop back out.” Huh.

[00:04:27.880 – 00:04:29.660] Her dents never popped back out.

[00:04:29.660 – 00:04:32.060] But God, she’s a great gal.

[00:04:32.060 – 00:04:42.640] But when she told me she hadn’t had a drink of alcohol in a year, that really got my attention because Edith, when she was drunk, had the reputation of being a mean, incorrigible,

[00:04:42.640 – 00:04:43.880] fighting woman drunk.

[00:04:43.880 – 00:04:50.860] She could outdrink any man, any place, under the table, over the table, up in the moon, under, it didn’t make a bit of difference.

[00:04:50.860 – 00:04:53.280] And she always carried a big, black purse.

[00:04:53.280 – 00:04:57.840] She had two pints of whiskey in that purse, and she’d kill you if you got in that purse.

[00:04:57.840 – 00:05:02.100] And I, I, and I looked at her, and I noticed she had changed.

[00:05:02.100 – 00:05:02.760] I noticed…

[00:05:02.760 – 00:05:03.680] I got to watching her.

[00:05:03.680 – 00:05:10.440] I noticed when she was giving my manicure that morning, she was buffing my nails instead of my knuckles and my shoulders and ears.

[00:05:10.440 – 00:05:15.380] I looked up at her face, and her lipstick was on her lips and not her eyebrows.

[00:05:15.380 – 00:05:21.080] I sniffed her, and she didn’t smell halfway between an Avon woman and a whiskey bottle.

[00:05:21.080 – 00:05:27.480] More important, she didn’t grab her purse and say, “Now, I’ll be back in ten minutes,” and maybe show up 11 months later.

[00:05:27.480 – 00:05:29.880] But I noticed a real change.

[00:05:29.880 – 00:05:31.860] The change was in her eyes.

[00:05:31.860 – 00:05:34.900] In Alcoholics Anonymous, we have two kinds of eyes.

[00:05:34.900 – 00:05:41.159] We have those sad, sick eyes, and then we have those happy, dancing, laughing, living, sparkling, sober eyes.

[00:05:41.159 – 00:05:44.320] Oh, yes, we got another kind of eyes, you know, those glassy eyes.

[00:05:44.320 – 00:05:48.880] They’ll get up behind one of these things, say, “I haven’t had a drink of alcohol,” you know, and then fall over.

[00:05:48.880 – 00:05:55.320] But her eyes were jumping, and she was laughing, and she looked like she was having a lot of fun living sober.

[00:05:55.320 – 00:06:05.568] Then she turned to another manicurist in the shop by the name of Moena, and she says, “Moena is my sponsor, and she has 15 months sober

[00:06:05.568 – 00:06:06.708] at Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:06:06.708 – 00:06:17.148] And back in those days in Alcoholics Anonymous, when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, any time we talked about or mentioned our sponsors, it was with reverence because we respected our sponsors.

[00:06:17.148 – 00:06:22.708] We literally turned our lives over to the care of their experience and not their opinions.

[00:06:22.708 – 00:06:24.548] And then Moena said…

[00:06:24.548 – 00:06:26.827] And I looked at Moena and I says, “Moena, I have…

[00:06:26.827 – 00:06:37.168] Look, you’re a bigger liar than Goofy over here.” I said, “Moena, we drank…” And she says, “No, David, I have not had a drink of alcohol with you or anyone else or myself

[00:06:37.168 – 00:06:39.248] in 15 continuous months.

[00:06:39.248 – 00:06:49.328] Edith has not had a drink of alcohol in 12 continuous months.” Little did I realize that those precious, fine words that that lady said to me that

[00:06:49.328 – 00:06:52.128] morning would stick with me for many, many years.

[00:06:52.128 – 00:06:54.908] She talked about continuous sobriety.

[00:06:54.908 – 00:07:00.648] At that time, I had no reason whatever to know that it was one day at a time.

[00:07:00.648 – 00:07:10.668] And then she said, “David, w- uh, this Sunday,” which is the last Sunday of the month, “uh, it is a tradition for our group, we have an

[00:07:10.668 – 00:07:11.708] open AA meeting.

[00:07:11.708 – 00:07:21.728] And also, being the last Sunday of the month, we have a sort of little birthday celebration for those of you, uh, those of us who have one year or more

[00:07:21.728 – 00:07:22.728] continuous sobriety.

[00:07:22.728 – 00:07:32.828] And we would like for you and your wife to come to that open meeting and stay later on for that birthday party.” And I thought that the only reason that people such

[00:07:32.828 – 00:07:43.168] as you would invite someone such as me to come to one of your AA meetings and to stay to one of your AA functions is that you needed to have some good-looking, outstanding, and successful professional

[00:07:43.168 – 00:07:46.548] man come and upgrade you lepers in the community.

[00:07:46.548 – 00:07:48.728] And I’d glad to come help you.

[00:07:48.728 – 00:07:52.228] And she also said to find out what AA is and what AA is not.

[00:07:52.228 – 00:08:02.228] And believe it or not, there are hundreds of thousands of our members all over the world in Alcoholics Anonymous today who do not know what Alcoholics Anonymous is not, that we’re not all things for all

[00:08:02.228 – 00:08:02.688] people.

[00:08:02.688 – 00:08:12.728] And because it’s been the singleness of purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous that has made Alcoholics Anonymous the envy and the model for every self-help peer

[00:08:12.728 – 00:08:15.938] program in the world today with every kind of problem that there is.

[00:08:15.938 – 00:08:19.148] And I didn’t know it at the time, and I had no reason to know it at the time.

[00:08:19.148 – 00:08:23.488] And then, and so, uh, I went home and I told Grace.

[00:08:23.488 – 00:08:28.868] And God, she was thrilled that we’d been invited because people had long since been asking us to come around.

[00:08:28.868 – 00:08:38.888] Grace used to ask me, “Why we’re not asked to the outdoor barbecues and square dances and round dances and nightclub supper parties and swimming pool parties and card parties?” And I

[00:08:38.888 – 00:08:39.688] said, “It’s you.

[00:08:39.688 – 00:08:46.168] It’s you.” I said, “Every time we’re asked to go out on Saturday night, you start on me on the Monday before.

[00:08:46.168 – 00:08:48.808] And you start screaming, ‘You’re not gonna drink.

[00:08:48.808 – 00:08:59.128] You’re not gonna get drunk, are you?’ And you wake me up out of a sound sleep 5:30 the next morning, screaming, ‘Did you hear what I said?’ And you keep it up Tuesday, Tuesday night, Wednesday,

[00:08:59.128 – 00:09:08.128] Wednesday night, Thursday, Thursday night, Friday, Friday night.” And what a tremendous price society’s had to pay, is paying, I guess will always pay.

[00:09:08.128 – 00:09:13.288] Those who love us, those who hate us, those who do not even care that we exist on this earth.

[00:09:13.288 – 00:09:20.928] What a tremendous price those people are paying to find out that the more you scream at our kind about our drinking, the more we’re gonna drink.

[00:09:20.928 – 00:09:27.828] And I said, “And furthermore, when we get to where we’re supposed to get to, before I can even park the car, you’re out of the car.

[00:09:27.828 – 00:09:38.128] You run in, you grab the host and the hostess, and you chase them out of the kitchen, through the den, in the backyard, in the alley, in the bushes, in the garbage, in the neighborhood, screaming, ‘Don’t you give him a drink.'”

[00:09:38.128 – 00:09:40.608] Woman, you’re sick.

[00:09:40.608 – 00:09:41.748] That’s what’s wrong with you.

[00:09:41.748 – 00:09:51.947] But through tear-filled eyes, she said, “We’re going to a meeting.” And I said, “Yes.” And so I got up that Sunday morning at 5:30 in the morning to go to an AA meeting 5:30

[00:09:51.947 – 00:09:52.708] that afternoon.

[00:09:52.708 – 00:09:58.358] Well, now, what does a good self-respectful drinking drunk do when he gets up 5:30 on Sunday morning?

[00:09:58.358 – 00:10:00.308] Drinks alcohol, that’s what he does.

[00:10:00.308 – 00:10:02.008] Let’s face it, it’s very simple.

[00:10:02.008 – 00:10:04.988] Golfers golf, fishermen fish, drunks drink.

[00:10:04.988 – 00:10:06.228] There’s no big mystery.

[00:10:06.228 – 00:10:09.708] I started sucking on a brand-new bottle of whiskey.

[00:10:09.708 – 00:10:10.168] You know how it is.

[00:10:10.168 – 00:10:12.608] You take the first drink, that gets your breathing started.

[00:10:12.608 – 00:10:15.468] Then that second drink regulates your breathing.

[00:10:15.468 – 00:10:19.728] Then that third drink just goes down and just sets you there.

[00:10:19.728 – 00:10:21.868] Now you’re ready to do some real drinking.

[00:10:21.868 – 00:10:28.428] And I’m drinking and I’m looking up at the birds and the bees and the trees, and I’m hearing the neighbor screaming, “Johnny, get dressed.

[00:10:28.428 – 00:10:31.608] We’ll be late for church.” And I said, “Oh, those sick people.

[00:10:31.608 – 00:10:33.988] They don’t know what living really is.

[00:10:33.988 – 00:10:44.148] If they could just learn how to control it and enjoy it like I was doing, that they would find out that right after breathing in and out, alcohol is the second-greatest gift God’s

[00:10:44.148 – 00:10:45.008] given mankind.

[00:10:45.008 – 00:10:46.828] Amen.” Took another drink.

[00:10:46.828 – 00:10:56.968] Drank half of that fifth of that whiskey and put the other half the fifth in the trunk of my car because I knew I was gonna be required to have another drink of alcohol maybe

[00:10:56.968 – 00:11:03.168] a second later, maybe an hour later, maybe two hours later, not knowing the exact reason until I came to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:11:03.168 – 00:11:13.168] And I’m one of these that firmly believes that if and when an alcoholic comes to us, that until that alcoholic is willing to find out what’s wrong with that alcoholic, that alcoholic

[00:11:13.168 – 00:11:16.028] will never be able to find out what can get right with that alcoholic.

[00:11:16.028 – 00:11:23.008] And I went in and I bathed and I shaved and I put on everything rich and nice-looking to impress those poor, sick people at Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:11:23.008 – 00:11:31.888] Put on a beautiful brand-new tailor-made suit, white-on-white monogram shirt, monogram handkerchief, monogram tie, monogram drawers.

[00:11:31.888 – 00:11:41.628] Put on my diamond ring, my diamond watch, and the trademark of every good self-respectful high-rolling drinking drunk, a brand-new pair of custom-made alligator shoes.

[00:11:41.628 – 00:11:45.528] I looked just like a used car salesman.

[00:11:45.528 – 00:11:47.528] Or a dope dealer.

[00:11:47.528 – 00:11:53.128] And at 10:30 in the morning, I’m out in my long Roadmaster Buick honking the horn.

[00:11:53.128 – 00:12:01.738] And out comes Grace with the rollers in her hair, and she has on this, this all-your-fault kimono, you know, that, that- …

[00:12:01.738 – 00:12:10.228] that they just love to live in and dwell in and cry into, where she’s lost the string around the middle and it’s pinned together with a big baby diaper pin.

[00:12:10.228 – 00:12:18.872] And she’s pulled all the threading and the padding and the fuzzing and the buttons off the front, and the front’s just covered with tear stains and cigarette burns.

[00:12:18.872 – 00:12:24.532] It’s what us drunks in Alcoholics Anonymous lovingly call the Al-Anon designer house coat.

[00:12:24.532 – 00:12:34.732] And in a beautiful, calm, loving, wifely tone of voice, she screams out like a wild banshee, “What do you want,

[00:12:34.732 – 00:12:39.772] you no-good, sorry drunk?” And meanwhile, all the neighbors have gathered out.

[00:12:39.772 – 00:12:44.512] And her side is lined up over here, and my side is lined up over here.

[00:12:44.512 – 00:12:54.532] And I can still hear the fine ladies of the neighborhood saying, “Isn’t it a shame that such a beautiful and fine lady, and the mother of two beautiful little

[00:12:54.532 – 00:13:01.732] boys, married to such a sorry, no-good drunk like him?” And my bunch over here hollering out, “Let her have it, David.

[00:13:01.732 – 00:13:07.992] Let her have it.” And that used to be the weekly entertainment in every neighborhood we lived in.

[00:13:07.992 – 00:13:11.992] We moved twenty-four times before we come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:13:11.992 – 00:13:15.411] Sometimes at midnight, high noon, daybreak.

[00:13:15.411 – 00:13:19.572] Sometimes ahead of the sheriff, a few times with the sheriff, behind the sheriff.

[00:13:19.572 – 00:13:20.232] Just kept moving.

[00:13:20.232 – 00:13:27.972] I said, “Let’s go to the meeting.” She said, “It doesn’t get started for seven more hours, you no-good drunk.” And with that, she turned on her heels and went back in the house.

[00:13:27.972 – 00:13:34.472] And that started seven tough hours because here it was Sunday, and I’m sucking on the only bottle of alcohol that I got.

[00:13:34.472 – 00:13:37.352] Knew I was going to have to have me a drink, you know?

[00:13:37.352 – 00:13:47.372] And I knew that if I called a bootlegger or went to a taxi cab, I’d blow the deal because when I got out of the service the first time in nineteen forty-seven, the sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous in

[00:13:47.372 – 00:13:49.332] Dallas, Texas, tried to net me.

[00:13:49.332 – 00:13:51.012] They tried to net me in forty-eight.

[00:13:51.012 – 00:13:52.752] They tried to net me in forty-nine.

[00:13:52.752 – 00:13:55.092] They tried to net me in January of fifty.

[00:13:55.092 – 00:13:58.972] And they thought they set the trap on the last Sunday of August of nineteen fifty.

[00:13:58.972 – 00:14:06.912] And so I found just enough to nurse me along, you know, because you see, when I drank, I was a, I rolled it all the way.

[00:14:06.912 – 00:14:14.412] And one of the biggest problems I had before I come to Alcoholics Anonymous, that many times they’d pull me off my drunks, and I wasn’t through drinking.

[00:14:14.412 – 00:14:24.452] And I’d come in and I’d cry, and I’d get on my knees and I’d pledge, and I’d put my hand on the Bible, under the Bible, in the Bible, on the cat, the dog, everything else, the

[00:14:24.452 – 00:14:25.952] floor, and make promises.

[00:14:25.952 – 00:14:32.752] And I’d wait until they tuck some more money or a check in my shirt pocket, and as soon as they left, I’d run off to finish the drunk.

[00:14:32.752 – 00:14:36.132] Now, I was a stay-away-from-home kind of drunk, not on purpose.

[00:14:36.132 – 00:14:40.632] I’d get drunk, and I ended up in countries I never knew existed on this earth.

[00:14:40.632 – 00:14:43.812] I ended up with people I never saw before in my life.

[00:14:43.812 – 00:14:48.692] Sometimes with money, sometimes without, sometimes with clothes on, sometimes the other way.

[00:14:48.692 – 00:14:52.692] I was gone one time, I, I guess, I don’t know, eleven months.

[00:14:52.692 – 00:14:54.512] No one knew where I was.

[00:14:54.512 – 00:14:57.902] My mother, my father, my wife, my children, my patients, my enemies.

[00:14:57.902 – 00:14:59.192] No one knew where I was.

[00:14:59.192 – 00:15:10.762] And I come running in the house with the same clothes I guess I had been in for about five months, and I asked my wife this brilliant question: “Did anybody call?” And

[00:15:10.762 – 00:15:13.832] that does not make for good marriage relationships, I’ll tell you.

[00:15:13.832 – 00:15:17.312] But I knew that if I called, I’d blow the deal.

[00:15:17.312 – 00:15:24.232] And so as, as a result, as I said, I found just enough to nurse me along, ke- kind of keep that edge glowing just a little bit.

[00:15:24.232 – 00:15:25.652] Don’t let it ever get out.

[00:15:25.652 – 00:15:29.752] And finally, at four thirty, I honked the horn, and here she came, and off we went.

[00:15:29.752 – 00:15:38.352] And we drove up, and we went in this group, and it looked like there must have been about eighty members of Alcoholics Anonymous, and their wives and the kids, and a poodle or two jumping up and down.

[00:15:38.352 – 00:15:44.612] And it looked like to me they were all smoking cigarettes, and they were laughing, and they were scratching, and they were hugging.

[00:15:44.612 – 00:15:54.672] And I stepped back and I looked at those idiots, and I said, “By gosh, if they’re alcoholic and they’re not drinking alcohol and they’re having that much fun, then they

[00:15:54.672 – 00:16:04.692] have to be on dope.” And I looked around at AA group and I saw all them signs and I says, “My God, I’m in a kindergarten.” And then I saw But

[00:16:04.692 – 00:16:11.672] for the Grace of God and my head ducked because I knew at that time that I was not living according to the dictates of God’s will for human beings.

[00:16:11.672 – 00:16:22.432] And I’m one of these that firmly believes that if and when an alcoholic comes to us, even though many of us come to Alcoholics Anonymous without a full string of lights in our head,

[00:16:22.432 – 00:16:25.592] that deep down inside, every one of us know this.

[00:16:25.592 – 00:16:36.192] If there is a principle we very seldom hear in AA discussed, or sometimes not at all, that

[00:16:36.192 – 00:16:38.752] every one of us are born human beings first.

[00:16:38.752 – 00:16:48.772] We get so carried away with when we became an alcoholic, how we became an alcoholic, how early we became an alcoholic, born an alcoholic, and all this.

[00:16:48.772 – 00:16:51.712] Baby, AA ain’t interested when you become one.

[00:16:51.712 – 00:16:56.132] When the ox is in the ditch, we got a way to get you out of it and a way to stay out of it.

[00:16:56.132 – 00:16:57.012] That’s all.

[00:16:57.012 – 00:16:58.622] That’s all this God’s world.

[00:16:58.622 – 00:17:02.352] And but what we realize, we’re all born human beings first.

[00:17:02.352 – 00:17:09.572] And when we’re given the most precious gift of life that a human being will ever receive, we begin breathing in and out.

[00:17:09.572 – 00:17:14.112] Right there and then is the creation, formation, development of selfishness and self-centeredness.

[00:17:14.112 – 00:17:22.132] And from this selfishness and self-centeredness stems all those defects of character, those defects that we refuse to recognize as moral.

[00:17:22.132 – 00:17:30.312] Resentment, selfishness, dishonesty, and fear, and not wanting to tell another human being what’s really churning on with inside of us and how phony we are.

[00:17:30.312 – 00:17:30.872] Yeah.

[00:17:30.872 – 00:17:37.412] And you pour alcohol into a human being such as this, and it does something.

[00:17:37.412 – 00:17:43.612] You know, when I was drinking, I tried to drown my defects of character, but the son of a guns learned how to swim.

[00:17:43.612 – 00:17:45.932] And they darn near killed me.

[00:17:45.932 – 00:17:49.712] And as a result of it, we don’t hear that too much in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:17:49.712 – 00:17:59.772] And, and so, you know, and because you see, Alcoholics Anonymous does something, the success that AA has, that formalized, organized religion never has and never will

[00:17:59.772 – 00:18:00.332] be able to.

[00:18:00.332 – 00:18:02.752] Medicine has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:02.752 – 00:18:05.552] Psychiatry has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:05.552 – 00:18:08.752] Social services has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:08.752 – 00:18:11.912] Government agencies has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:11.912 – 00:18:15.292] Treatment modalities has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:15.292 – 00:18:18.732] Human willpower has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:18.732 – 00:18:21.992] Acupuncture has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:21.992 – 00:18:24.972] Horoscopes has not, is not, ever able to do it.

[00:18:24.972 – 00:18:28.372] Biorhythm charts has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:28.372 – 00:18:31.392] Hypnosis has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:31.392 – 00:18:34.172] Witch doctors has not, is not, will ever be able to do it.

[00:18:34.172 – 00:18:41.652] Because Alcoholics Anonymous reaches down in the innermost depths of a human being, this most precious thing that comes with each and every one of us’ birth.

[00:18:41.652 – 00:18:51.692] And after we get physically sober from the agent or comfortable from the agent that forces us to come to Alcoholics Anonymous, that fine little precious thing deep down in there says, “Thank you,

[00:18:51.692 – 00:18:54.652] little alcoholic, for not taking a drink of alcohol today.

[00:18:54.652 – 00:18:59.032] Thank you, little alcoholic, for finding a way to have a reasonably good night’s sleep.

[00:18:59.032 – 00:19:09.112] But more important, thank you, little alcoholic, for finding a way to live and finding a group of people who love you no matter what you have done, what

[00:19:09.112 – 00:19:15.292] you are doing, or what you ever will do.” And that is where the great power of our society lies.

[00:19:15.292 – 00:19:17.932] One drunk talking to another.

[00:19:17.932 – 00:19:27.932] And when we get to Alcoholics Anonymous and we begin to give– live their spiritual recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, all we’re doing is to renew that contact that’s given with

[00:19:27.932 – 00:19:29.772] each and every one of us at birth.

[00:19:29.772 – 00:19:34.252] But it’s the scars in between and our own individual experiences.

[00:19:34.252 – 00:19:44.432] This is where the recovery program begins to break that shell down, break that shell down, break that shell down to where it now becomes a total inside job

[00:19:44.432 – 00:19:46.272] from inside, without.

[00:19:46.272 – 00:19:55.632] And you know, that is the most tremendous thing that has ever happened to this human being who happens to be an alcoholic.

[00:19:55.632 – 00:20:04.492] I’ll tell you, every degradation, everything ugly that’s happened to me in my life, and I brought it all on myself.

[00:20:04.492 – 00:20:06.002] I cannot blame-

[00:20:06.139 – 00:20:08.059] Anyone else for my dilemma.

[00:20:08.059 – 00:20:15.839] Because you see, lack of power was my dilemma, not lack of your power or anybody else’s power, but lack of power was my dilemma.

[00:20:15.839 – 00:20:25.979] And to be able now to be comfortable on the inside, to be able to go home at the end of the day and look my wife or anyone in the face and

[00:20:25.979 – 00:20:36.119] realize I haven’t cheated anybody today, I haven’t lied to anybody today, I haven’t cut corners today, for a drunk like me, I’m gonna tell you,

[00:20:36.119 – 00:20:39.019] it’s something in this God’s world, and it’s tremendous.

[00:20:39.019 – 00:20:49.079] It’s been worth every ugly thing to bring me to where I am right here, because today I have a relationship with my Creator that’s indescribably

[00:20:49.079 – 00:20:49.859] wonderful.

[00:20:49.859 – 00:20:54.619] And if you’re having problems staying sober, this is just a suggestion.

[00:20:54.619 – 00:21:04.699] I suggest you get you another God, a God that you know that wants you with every fiber of one’s being to live sober and to love God and to be

[00:21:04.699 – 00:21:09.239] able to help another human being or more human beings if possible one day at a time.

[00:21:09.239 – 00:21:15.619] And little did I realize that this would ever happen to me in my life, because later on my story will tell you this.

[00:21:15.619 – 00:21:19.919] And so as a result, you know, and, and I, they blew a whistle or something.

[00:21:19.919 – 00:21:29.039] We went in the meeting, and I, I, uh, I sat on the back row because I wanted to look those people over to see what kind of help I could afford to give them.

[00:21:29.039 – 00:21:34.219] And the first talker got up, and God, it’s the lyingest, cheatingest person I’d ever been around in my life.

[00:21:34.219 – 00:21:40.039] And that woman had nerve enough to stand up in front of 80 people and say she was sober, sane, in her right mind.

[00:21:40.039 – 00:21:48.379] And I stood up, and I hollered out, “You are a liar.” And somebody said, “Shut up,” and they had enough in there to make me.

[00:21:48.379 – 00:21:57.959] And she got to talking about everything in this God’s world, and she got to talking about her Jesus, and she got to talking about her Lord Jesus and Jesus and her Lord Jesus.

[00:21:57.959 – 00:22:05.859] And I sat back there, and I said to myself, “What a heck of a trick to pull on a Jew.” You invite me to an AA meeting, and it’s not an AA meeting.

[00:22:05.859 – 00:22:07.639] It’s a Jesus revival meeting.

[00:22:07.639 – 00:22:08.779] You’re trying to convert me.

[00:22:08.779 – 00:22:12.219] And if this is what you were, I needed a drink real bad.

[00:22:12.219 – 00:22:21.019] Now, I don’t know why I, I thought that way because I had turned my back on, on, on the house of Abraham and Isaac long ago, long ago.

[00:22:21.019 – 00:22:31.019] But you see, I found out, and I had to come to Alcoholics Anonymous to find out the reason that I wasn’t going to listen to them, and I, and I didn’t listen to anything that was said

[00:22:31.019 – 00:22:31.659] at that meeting.

[00:22:31.659 – 00:22:35.639] And, and, and, and, and it, and it darn near killed me.

[00:22:35.639 – 00:22:36.979] And because I’ll tell you why.

[00:22:36.979 – 00:22:43.259] And, and I, I, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t listen to it, and it just, and the resentment and every doggone thing else.

[00:22:43.259 – 00:22:47.398] And here I’m sitting with 80 people in there, and I’m sitting on the back row.

[00:22:47.398 – 00:22:53.639] And because I started drinking with and working with and fighting with and cheating with the Black and the white wino, which was then Skid Row.

[00:22:53.639 – 00:22:56.939] It’s Skid Row today, and I guess it’ll always be Skid Row in Dallas, Texas.

[00:22:56.939 – 00:23:01.879] And I’ve lived on three Skid Rows in my lifetime, one for over six years, one for four and a half years.

[00:23:01.879 – 00:23:04.339] But the last one for 14 months was the toughest.

[00:23:04.339 – 00:23:07.088] And I learned a lot of things down on Skid Row.

[00:23:07.088 – 00:23:09.339] I went down there as a youngster, ten and a half years of age.

[00:23:09.339 – 00:23:10.719] Didn’t have to be down there.

[00:23:10.719 – 00:23:21.019] Came from one of the finest families that God ever put on this earth, a mother and father who dedicated their two lives to give to the two sons that were born of that marriage everything that was denied

[00:23:21.019 – 00:23:22.119] them when they were growing up.

[00:23:22.119 – 00:23:32.239] And if one of the sons is gonna become an alcoholic, I do not know of a better deal when you’ve got a mother and father that’s willing to go to every and any length to keep you from hurting and to keep

[00:23:32.239 – 00:23:38.559] you from suffering and to keep you from bringing shame and disgrace on the family name and the family heritage and the family religion.

[00:23:38.559 – 00:23:40.919] And so I can’t blame them.

[00:23:40.919 – 00:23:42.759] You know, they were doing the best they knew how.

[00:23:42.759 – 00:23:47.959] And as a result, I’m down there, and I, and I start drinking beer, rum, and wine.

[00:23:47.959 – 00:23:49.259] That was the standard fare.

[00:23:49.259 – 00:23:53.749] Later on, as I grew older physically, I go from beer, rum, and wine to that good stuff.

[00:23:53.749 – 00:23:54.659] Never missed a lick.

[00:23:54.659 – 00:23:59.519] Come back down from that good stuff down to Gypsy Rose and Thunderbird and never missed a lick.

[00:23:59.519 – 00:24:02.539] I don’t know about anybody in AA or in here.

[00:24:02.539 – 00:24:05.699] I wasn’t drinking it because of the price of it, the smell of it.

[00:24:05.699 – 00:24:08.019] I wasn’t drinking it because of the taste of it.

[00:24:08.019 – 00:24:10.999] I wasn’t drinking it because it, it was sociably acceptable.

[00:24:10.999 – 00:24:14.719] I did not was drinking it because it made you a better this or worse that.

[00:24:14.719 – 00:24:24.779] I was drinking it because I liked what it did to me and with me and for me when it got in and down and through me, and I liked what it allowed me to do to you or against you when it got in and down and

[00:24:24.779 – 00:24:25.198] through me.

[00:24:25.198 – 00:24:29.649] And little did I realize that the first drink of alcohol I took, it affected my head.

[00:24:29.649 – 00:24:39.739] That says, “David, every chance you’re gonna get, you’re gonna take a drink of alcohol to reproduce that initial effect.” And I did not know right there and then it was the beginning

[00:24:39.739 – 00:24:40.339] of a problem.

[00:24:40.339 – 00:24:43.639] That’s the reason why we become expert problem drinkers.

[00:24:43.639 – 00:24:46.439] We’re working on the problem before we get here.

[00:24:46.439 – 00:24:50.159] And I did not know this, and most of you didn’t either.

[00:24:50.159 – 00:24:54.459] And as a result, you know, here I am, and I learned a lot of other things down on Skid Row.

[00:24:54.459 – 00:24:57.999] If you smoke or eat a thing, keep both hands free so you can hit and run.

[00:24:57.999 – 00:25:00.079] I’ve always been five foot six.

[00:25:00.079 – 00:25:01.519] I was born five foot six.

[00:25:01.519 – 00:25:04.559] And I’d drink that juice, and I’d be seven foot tall.

[00:25:04.559 – 00:25:06.679] I’ve had hundreds of fights, never won a one.

[00:25:06.679 – 00:25:09.579] My nose has been where my navel is.

[00:25:09.579 – 00:25:11.259] My navel’s been where my right ear is.

[00:25:11.259 – 00:25:12.639] I’ve been all rearranged.

[00:25:12.639 – 00:25:18.729] When I was fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen years of age, I run off and joined Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

[00:25:18.729 – 00:25:21.059] Now, I didn’t have to be there.

[00:25:21.059 – 00:25:26.479] And at that, and I’ll tell you, in those days, the Ringling show was the largest under canvas in the entire world.

[00:25:26.479 – 00:25:31.819] The only one place it ever played under roof was the old Madison Square Garden in New York City.

[00:25:31.819 – 00:25:41.859] Other than that, it was on an open lot with this huge tent and with all the wild animals and the clowns and the midgets and the wild animals

[00:25:41.859 – 00:25:43.799] and all those good, and the aerialists.

[00:25:43.799 – 00:25:45.159] It had been a thrill for a youngster.

[00:25:45.159 – 00:25:49.099] And Tom Mix in those days and his trick horse, Tony, they ran the Wild West show.

[00:25:49.099 – 00:25:51.719] Been a thrill for a youngster to be with the circus.

[00:25:51.719 – 00:25:52.319] No, not me.

[00:25:52.319 – 00:25:56.039] I went because you could drink and because you could fight.

[00:25:56.039 – 00:26:00.739] And I look around here, and I don’t see any circus-looking drinkers this Sunday morning here.

[00:26:00.739 – 00:26:01.659] And I want to tell you something.

[00:26:01.659 – 00:26:08.299] I learned the most beautiful concoction to drink in the circus that’s ever been devised by a man called Green Lizard Circus Style.

[00:26:08.299 – 00:26:09.459] A tremendous drink.

[00:26:09.459 – 00:26:13.519] Elixir of sodium bromide and Lucky Tiger hair tonic.

[00:26:13.519 – 00:26:22.099] And I used to drink that stuff, and I’d see Bambi and those animals in Technicolor long before Walt Disney ever put them on.

[00:26:22.099 – 00:26:30.459] And when I was in the circus, I drank with the most delightful drunks I ever drank with in my life.

[00:26:30.459 – 00:26:34.269] And also, I, it was the only bunch that I was taller than all of them.

[00:26:34.269 – 00:26:35.519] I drank with all the midgets.

[00:26:35.519 – 00:26:43.319] And I’ll tell you, those midgets are wild when they get drunk, and they’re tremendous athletes, and they’re just great people.

[00:26:43.319 – 00:26:44.679] Honest to God, they’re great people.

[00:26:44.679 – 00:26:46.159] But we, we, we…

[00:26:46.159 – 00:26:47.539] It would just terrorize every way.

[00:26:47.539 – 00:26:52.699] And, and one day, John Ringling North called me and, and he said, “Boy, you’re going to have to leave.

[00:26:52.699 – 00:26:57.139] You’re ruining my midgets.” I went back and told the midgets.

[00:26:57.139 – 00:26:59.519] The midgets said, “No, you’re not.

[00:26:59.519 – 00:27:01.259] They all go see John Ringling North.

[00:27:01.259 – 00:27:03.039] They say, ‘If he goes, we go.'” You know.

[00:27:03.039 – 00:27:07.379] And you can’t have a good circus without wild animals and clowns and midgets.

[00:27:07.379 – 00:27:16.799] And my mother and father would find me, you know, and they’d drag me back, and here I am because I had experienced some things that youngsters my age had never experienced.

[00:27:16.799 – 00:27:23.979] Living down on Skid Row, seeing people with their throats cut, just stepping on them just like they’re another piece of garbage, you know, and no care.

[00:27:23.979 – 00:27:27.579] But I’m a little kid, and I’m so scared on the inside.

[00:27:27.579 – 00:27:32.499] And I drank that stuff, and it allowed me to do things that because I was the only, you know, one down there.

[00:27:32.499 – 00:27:35.099] All the rest of them were winos and they were bums.

[00:27:35.099 – 00:27:40.639] And when I went down the, the first Skid Row I was on, I started working down there and laying down there and staying drunk.

[00:27:40.639 – 00:27:42.519] My perspective in life changed.

[00:27:42.519 – 00:27:46.379] Long, no longer was I interested in 14th century history.

[00:27:46.379 – 00:27:52.539] No longer was I interested whether George Washington threw a silver dollar over the Delaware or I-30.

[00:27:52.539 – 00:27:53.639] No.

[00:27:53.639 – 00:27:57.219] I wanted to be a drunken wino bum, you know.

[00:27:57.219 – 00:28:01.379] And then when I went with the circus, my perspective in life changed again.

[00:28:01.379 – 00:28:04.739] No longer did I want to be a drunken wino bum.

[00:28:04.739 – 00:28:09.279] I wanted to be tattooed from the top of my head down to my toes on both sides.

[00:28:09.279 – 00:28:15.599] And wander the world, uh, wander around the world as a tattooed wino bum freak, you know.

[00:28:15.599 – 00:28:22.299] But as I said, Mother and Father would find me, but my, my, my body would be in the chair, and my head would be way out there.

[00:28:22.299 – 00:28:32.619] I had to come to Alcoholics Anonymous to find out that the reason my head was way out there, that I hadn’t finished drinking, that I wasn’t through

[00:28:32.619 – 00:28:33.019] drinking.

[00:28:33.019 – 00:28:36.579] And here I was just starting, if you really want to know the truth about it.

[00:28:36.579 – 00:28:37.659] You betcha.

[00:28:37.659 – 00:28:38.459] You betcha.

[00:28:38.459 – 00:28:41.299] And here I am, you know, and I’m sitting in that meeting.

[00:28:41.299 – 00:28:42.359] There’s no back door.

[00:28:42.359 – 00:28:44.159] There’s no window to jump out of.

[00:28:44.159 – 00:28:47.119] That woman talking about her Jesus and about her Christ.

[00:28:47.119 – 00:28:57.479] And every time I stood up to walk through, 80 people looked like 80 people stood up and turned around and looked at me and said, “Shut up and sit here and listen, and this is for you.” And I hated every member of Alcoholics

[00:28:57.479 – 00:29:01.999] Anonymous that was in that meeting and the horse and wagons that brought them cross-country.

[00:29:01.999 – 00:29:05.179] And I made a deal right there and then.

[00:29:05.179 – 00:29:14.599] If they were not going to give me a good drink of alcohol right there in that meeting or let me go out to my car and get me a good drink, that I wasn’t going to listen to anything those people had to say.

[00:29:14.599 – 00:29:17.499] And as I said before, it darn near killed me.

[00:29:17.499 – 00:29:22.299] And I had to come to Alcoholics Anonymous to get sober, to realize.

[00:29:22.299 – 00:29:30.079] And when I read in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the doctor’s opinion, where he talks about the phenomenon of craving for alcohol.

[00:29:30.079 – 00:29:37.619] Once we succumb to desire again, and it wasn’t what that woman said about Christ, and it wasn’t the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:29:37.619 – 00:29:42.079] It wasn’t God’s grace that they were talking about in their miraculous recovery programs.

[00:29:42.079 – 00:29:42.998] Uh-uh.

[00:29:42.998 – 00:29:52.999] Remember I told you I got up at 5:30 in the morning, and I told you that I knew I was going to have to have a drink, but I did not know the reason, and that’s where I found out the reason, this phenomenon of

[00:29:52.999 – 00:29:53.459] craving.

[00:29:53.459 – 00:30:03.699] Once we succumb to desire again, it sets up this phenomenon of craving for alcohol, and we go through that well-known spree, ending up remorseful and screaming to anybody

[00:30:03.699 – 00:30:05.919] that’ll listen to us that we’ll never do it again.

[00:30:05.919 – 00:30:08.279] Yet I did it again and again and again and again.

[00:30:08.279 – 00:30:18.279] And as the good doctor said, “Until such a person experiences an entire psychic change, there’s very little hope for his recovery.” Now, how in Alcoholics Anonymous do we experience

[00:30:18.279 – 00:30:19.739] this entire psychic change?

[00:30:19.739 – 00:30:25.499] As a result of our ideals that are firmly grounded in a power greater than ourselves.

[00:30:25.499 – 00:30:30.639] And how in Alcoholics Anonymous do we firmly ground our ideals in a power greater than ourselves?

[00:30:30.639 – 00:30:34.908] Steps one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 12.

[00:30:34.908 – 00:30:36.679] Nine, 10, 11, and 12.

[00:30:36.679 – 00:30:42.139] And then our co-founders knew that we would want something more than.

[00:30:42.139 – 00:30:51.699] And so th- they sat down and gave us 12 more spiritual principles to live by, which we now know as our 12 traditions.

[00:30:51.699 – 00:30:53.219] And that first one’s a honey.

[00:30:53.219 – 00:30:54.889] Our common welfare should come first.

[00:30:54.889 – 00:30:56.879] Personal recovery depends upon A.A.

[00:30:56.879 – 00:30:57.239] unity.

[00:30:57.239 – 00:31:02.019] Common problem, common solution, common recovery, common Father, the oneness of one.

[00:31:02.019 – 00:31:08.069] And later on, our co-founder Bill gave us 12 more spiritual principles, our 12 concepts of world service.

[00:31:08.069 – 00:31:13.879] And I don’t know about anybody in this meeting or in Alcoholics Anonymous, but I have a 36-step program.

[00:31:13.879 – 00:31:24.159] And I’ll tell you, if you get involved in a 36-step program, totally Alcoholics Anonymous, nothing more, nothing less, you ain’t got time to think for a drink, uh, about taking

[00:31:24.159 – 00:31:24.539] a drink.

[00:31:24.539 – 00:31:25.639] I got news for you.

[00:31:25.639 – 00:31:27.699] It’ll totally inundate you.

[00:31:27.699 – 00:31:29.399] And God, what a trip it has been.

[00:31:29.399 – 00:31:31.739] And little did I realize it would ever happen to me.

[00:31:31.739 – 00:31:33.298] I really didn’t know this.

[00:31:33.298 – 00:31:37.629] And so as a result, I sweated out that birthday meeting and that, that A.A.

[00:31:37.629 – 00:31:42.439] meeting, and as soon as it was over with, everybody went for the coffee, the cake, the ice cream.

[00:31:42.439 – 00:31:43.619] Not me.

[00:31:43.619 – 00:31:46.359] I ran through those people like a tornado.

[00:31:46.359 – 00:31:55.179] And I got out to the trunk of my car, and I got that beautiful half a fifth of whiskey, and I drank her down in two swallows.

[00:31:55.179 – 00:31:56.759] Now, that’s the way I drank alcohol.

[00:31:56.759 – 00:32:04.279] I never put it in a brandy glass and run around and sniff it for four or five hours and burn candles and incense and listen to Lawrence Welk.

[00:32:04.279 – 00:32:14.339] And I never put an inch of whiskey in a glass, 14 ice cubes, nine and a half inches of soda water, a straw and a fruit and a cherry and a half a Christmas tree on top of it and

[00:32:14.339 – 00:32:15.639] suck on it for about three hours.

[00:32:15.639 – 00:32:17.079] To me, that’s sick drinking.

[00:32:17.079 – 00:32:20.831] I drank her to drop her down that hole where it’ll do the most good.

[00:32:20.831 – 00:32:24.251] But let me tell you what happened when I dropped that half fifth down in me.

[00:32:24.251 – 00:32:26.091] I quit perspiring.

[00:32:26.091 – 00:32:28.171] My hair laid back down.

[00:32:28.171 – 00:32:30.431] My toes fit in those alligator shoes.

[00:32:30.431 – 00:32:37.631] I ran up the steps, got ahold of the oldest sober member of that group, and got to arguing with him about the quality of y’all’s fellowship.

[00:32:37.631 – 00:32:39.771] And he said something to me, and I hit him.

[00:32:39.771 – 00:32:42.571] Now, when I was drinking, I was bad to hit people.

[00:32:42.571 – 00:32:46.091] Little people, when they get drink, they think they’re nine feet tall.

[00:32:46.091 – 00:32:49.451] And I’d always pick on the biggest one I could find.

[00:32:49.451 – 00:32:50.711] And I hit him.

[00:32:50.711 – 00:32:55.031] And when I did, two of his AA babies joined in, and we started a fight.

[00:32:55.031 – 00:32:59.431] And as far as I was concerned, that fight was a lot better than that AA meeting.

[00:32:59.431 – 00:33:02.651] Then they did an unfair thing.

[00:33:02.651 – 00:33:09.711] They ran in two more sober members of the group, about the size of the outside linebackers on any professional football team.

[00:33:09.711 – 00:33:17.711] And finally, four of them picked me up bodily, two on each side, took me to the door, opened the door, and threw me right out of the group.

[00:33:17.711 – 00:33:27.771] As I’m flying through the air, one of them said, “We do not need your kind here.” And another one said, “And furthermore, you are too young to be an alcoholic.” And

[00:33:27.771 – 00:33:29.651] God was I glad to hear that.

[00:33:29.651 – 00:33:39.711] And I stood on that grass that Sunday evening, drunk with my fists clenched, screaming and hollering and cursing to anybody listening to me that I would never come

[00:33:39.711 – 00:33:44.411] back to this Christ soul-saving organization as long as I lived, that I wasn’t an alcoholic.

[00:33:44.411 – 00:33:46.050] I was too young to be an alcoholic.

[00:33:46.050 – 00:33:52.991] But the next 17 years, everything that could possibly happen to a human being happened to this human being.

[00:33:52.991 – 00:33:57.391] And the only three things ne- …

[00:33:57.391 – 00:34:04.751] getting ready to get on a drunk, on a drunk, coming off a drunk right to this very second.

[00:34:04.751 – 00:34:10.691] Now, I never did willfully murder another human being, fall in love with another man, or die drunk.

[00:34:10.691 – 00:34:12.391] Other than that, it all happened.

[00:34:12.391 – 00:34:13.211] I don’t mind that.

[00:34:13.211 – 00:34:21.611] Of course, I guess blackouts don’t count, you know?

[00:34:21.611 – 00:34:27.031] We don’t, we don’t want anybody leaving an AA meeting with relivments, you know?

[00:34:27.031 – 00:34:31.211] And, and, and so, you know, and it would…

[00:34:31.211 – 00:34:36.051] W- Well, soon right after that, that, that I was reca- uh, you know, called back into active service.

[00:34:36.051 – 00:34:40.931] Now, you know, I’d married Grace, and when we got married, she didn’t realize she was marrying an alcoholic.

[00:34:40.931 – 00:34:43.991] And when we got married, we did not start to build a marriage.

[00:34:43.991 – 00:34:46.081] We started to build a booby trap- …

[00:34:46.081 – 00:34:48.291] one that could go off any week, month, or year.

[00:34:48.291 – 00:34:52.291] And I was recalled back into the service as a naval officer, and a dental officer rather.

[00:34:52.291 – 00:34:59.611] And I, I, and went with a combat marine division, and I got into more trouble than there’s absolute trouble.

[00:34:59.611 – 00:35:04.591] I ended up in a maximum security prison.

[00:35:04.591 – 00:35:07.391] They only had room for 138.

[00:35:07.391 – 00:35:09.331] It was under a code name.

[00:35:09.331 – 00:35:15.571] The word was that when you got there, you would never leave.

[00:35:15.571 – 00:35:20.651] And I saw how some left with sheets from the, from the top of their head down to their toes.

[00:35:20.651 – 00:35:23.371] And I hated society.

[00:35:23.371 – 00:35:27.051] I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[00:35:27.051 – 00:35:30.171] But what was I doing?

[00:35:30.171 – 00:35:33.711] I was making excuses for the guilt and the shame and the remorse.

[00:35:33.711 – 00:35:37.550] And I didn’t know what I’d done.

[00:35:37.550 – 00:35:42.411] I found out after I got there, and it wasn’t very, very nice.

[00:35:42.411 – 00:35:47.891] And you know, I like to tell you an experience while I was there.

[00:35:47.891 – 00:35:49.811] Christmas Day ’54.

[00:35:49.811 – 00:35:56.711] I’d been laying there with a leg iron locked around my right leg and a chain welded to the leg iron.

[00:35:56.711 – 00:36:01.390] The other end of the chain welded to steel cot, and the four legs of the steel cot immersed in concrete.

[00:36:01.390 – 00:36:05.371] And there are armed gorillas around me 24 hours a day daring me to move.

[00:36:05.371 – 00:36:07.131] And I’m hating society.

[00:36:07.131 – 00:36:14.391] And here it is Christmas, and in comes the orderly with a Christmas dinner.

[00:36:14.391 – 00:36:19.471] And the Christmas dinner was nothing more than dirty dishwater with a noodle in it.

[00:36:19.471 – 00:36:25.671] And you know, hate and resentment can carry a long way, but it will warp one’s mind.

[00:36:25.671 – 00:36:30.351] And I’ve been in a lot of places where they don’t give you knives and forks and spoons.

[00:36:30.351 – 00:36:37.491] If they give you a spoon, if they let you out of the iron doggy house, they, they collect them before, they count them before they let you go back in.

[00:36:37.491 – 00:36:43.471] And here I’m eating with fingers and dreaming there’s chicken in there, and I’m hating society.

[00:36:43.471 – 00:36:48.031] And in comes the orderly with his Christmas dinner, and he says, “Ho, ho, ho.

[00:36:48.031 – 00:36:55.991] Merry Christmas.” And I’m so full of love and joy for my fellow man, I said, “Ho, ho, ho, you know what?” And he looks at me.

[00:36:55.991 – 00:36:57.871] He says, “You’re never gonna leave here.

[00:36:57.871 – 00:36:58.771] You’re no good.

[00:36:58.771 – 00:37:04.651] You’re rotten, and you’re sorry.” And he hands me this bowl of dirty dishwater.

[00:37:04.651 – 00:37:08.551] And I’m so grateful, I pick it up, and I hit him in the face with it.

[00:37:08.551 – 00:37:15.891] And my Christmas gift for doing that that Christmas Day was 45 more straight days on bread and water.

[00:37:15.891 – 00:37:19.451] Now, that’s what you call a bad day.

[00:37:19.451 – 00:37:29.291] I have not had a day that bad since I have been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, and neither have you.

[00:37:29.291 – 00:37:30.891] We got out of that.

[00:37:30.891 – 00:37:32.731] We escaped by hook or crook.

[00:37:32.731 – 00:37:35.711] Some people took their lives as a result of my involvement.

[00:37:35.711 – 00:37:37.371] We had to take some of theirs too.

[00:37:37.371 – 00:37:42.791] And I got out, and I talked Grace into taking me back.

[00:37:42.791 – 00:37:44.231] I’m totally disgraced.

[00:37:44.231 – 00:37:47.071] She doesn’t know anything about all of this.

[00:37:47.071 – 00:37:50.271] My two little sons don’t know anybody, but I know about it.

[00:37:50.271 – 00:37:57.811] And every time I began to look at them and to know at them, I’d have to have another drink to obliterate that what was my innermost consciousness.

[00:37:57.811 – 00:38:04.271] But by this time, alcohol had become the thing that would do to relieve the pain and relieve the suffering.

[00:38:04.271 – 00:38:06.391] You know, change is never the pain.

[00:38:06.391 – 00:38:10.871] Resisting the change is the pain after we get sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:38:10.871 – 00:38:11.831] And I didn’t know this.

[00:38:11.831 – 00:38:15.031] And I talked Grace into taking me back, and we moved.

[00:38:15.031 – 00:38:21.091] And we moved, uh, uh, out to the panhandle of West Texas to raise our two little boys in a Christian environment.

[00:38:21.091 – 00:38:24.191] And I don’t know how many of y’all know what a Christian environment is.

[00:38:24.191 – 00:38:29.631] In a little town of 3,500 people, you know, who voted dry and drank wet.

[00:38:29.631 – 00:38:33.840] And the two most popular people in the town is the undertaker and the bootlegger.

[00:38:33.840 – 00:38:37.051] And here I am, I’m drinking every day now.

[00:38:37.051 – 00:38:47.051] And I got up to where I weighed about 240 pounds, and my blood pressure was so high that every time my pulse would beat, my hair would stand straight up and pump like an oil well.

[00:38:47.051 – 00:38:49.771] Had a fat doctor friend living in the next town.

[00:38:49.771 – 00:38:50.351] Go see him.

[00:38:50.351 – 00:39:00.191] “God, I’m sick.” He looks at me and he says, “David, you are sick.” And he puts a cuff around my arm, and he runs the air up, and he said, “My gosh, David, it’s a miracle you’re alive.

[00:39:00.191 – 00:39:10.331] Your blood pressure is so high.” He says, “Now, the reason your blood pressure is so high is because you’re so fat.” And he said, “The reason you’re so fat is because you eat so much.”

[00:39:10.331 – 00:39:11.531] Well, that was not true.

[00:39:11.531 – 00:39:12.311] I wasn’t eating.

[00:39:12.311 – 00:39:13.191] I was bloated.

[00:39:13.191 – 00:39:23.221] And he said, “You do not have any guts or willpower, and I’m gonna have to give you some help.” And he wrote me a prescription for 60 of the most beautiful capsules I have ever seen in my life

[00:39:23.221 – 00:39:24.291] called Nemudons.

[00:39:24.291 – 00:39:34.311] And he says, “Take them as directed.” I said, “Doctor, is it all right if I drink a few beers while I’m taking these things?” He says, “I do not believe it will hurt you.”

[00:39:34.311 – 00:39:36.211] He never should have told me that.

[00:39:36.211 – 00:39:38.831] So I went home, looked at the prescriptions.

[00:39:38.831 – 00:39:41.381] Take one three, uh, three times a day after meals.

[00:39:41.381 – 00:39:42.591] Well, who eats when you drink?

[00:39:42.591 – 00:39:48.671] And every good s- successful drinking drunk knows if one’s good, two’s better, three is terrific.

[00:39:48.671 – 00:39:49.831] So I just took three of them.

[00:39:49.831 – 00:39:50.951] Drank some whiskey.

[00:39:50.951 – 00:39:52.411] Didn’t feel like I was losing any weight.

[00:39:52.411 – 00:39:55.711] Come back out and took three more of them.

[00:39:55.711 – 00:39:56.971] Drank some more whiskey.

[00:39:56.971 – 00:39:59.371] Ran into the bathroom, turned sideways in the mirror.

[00:39:59.371 – 00:40:00.711] Didn’t look like I was losing any weight.

[00:40:00.711 – 00:40:03.711] Come back out and took a handful of them.

[00:40:03.711 – 00:40:04.971] Drank some more whiskey.

[00:40:04.971 – 00:40:06.891] It looked like my stomach’s getting bigger.

[00:40:06.891 – 00:40:11.941] You know, our co-founder Bill wrote some very prophetic lines when he said, “When a drunk’s drinking, it’s ti-

[00:40:12.178 – 00:40:12.898] I’m out of mind.

[00:40:12.898 – 00:40:14.698] Time passes so slow.

[00:40:14.698 – 00:40:20.878] And the only sad thing I’ve ever found out about Alcoholics Anonymous, that time passes so fast sober.

[00:40:20.878 – 00:40:22.058] Where does it go?

[00:40:22.058 – 00:40:31.138] And finally, I took all the pills and drank all the whiskey, and the next thing I knew, I was out in my backyard, and I was picking peaches off of rose bushes.

[00:40:31.138 – 00:40:32.178] I don’t mind telling you.

[00:40:32.178 – 00:40:38.298] And they tell me I ran around that little town for two days talking in the unknown tongue.

[00:40:38.298 – 00:40:48.218] And being one of two Jewish families in five counties around, they gathered everybody in to see and hear the miracle.

[00:40:48.218 – 00:40:53.798] ‘Cause word had spread like wildfire.

[00:40:53.798 – 00:40:56.418] The Jew had caught the Holy Ghost.

[00:40:56.418 – 00:41:06.418] And when I come to and realized what happened, I says, “My gosh, those pills are messing up my drinking.” Oh, I’d been to the psychiatrist,

[00:41:06.418 – 00:41:09.458] and all the questions he asked me, Grace used to ask me for nothing.

[00:41:09.458 – 00:41:11.298] Judges used to ask me nothing.

[00:41:11.298 – 00:41:12.728] Bankers used to ask me nothing.

[00:41:12.728 – 00:41:14.378] Bums used to ask me for nothing.

[00:41:14.378 – 00:41:20.518] Oh, we had to leave that little town, move back to Dallas, and with a wonderful opportunity.

[00:41:20.518 – 00:41:23.218] Oh, it was tremendous opportunity, you know.

[00:41:23.218 – 00:41:30.278] You know, I’d send Grace ahead, and everybody loves Grace, you know, with her personality, and she’s a tremendous lady.

[00:41:30.278 – 00:41:34.358] And, and they figured that she had to be married to somebody extra special.

[00:41:34.358 – 00:41:37.728] And then I’d come sneaking out of the dark- …

[00:41:37.728 – 00:41:41.818] like a tornado, and then two years later, blow everything apart, you know?

[00:41:41.818 – 00:41:50.588] And so as a result, and she found this wonderful place and, and, and, and we moved again with all the hopes and everything in this God’s world.

[00:41:50.588 – 00:41:58.818] But it wasn’t long before I was emptying them wine bottles and sleeping in them fifty-five cent a night hotel rooms with your shoes tied around your neck.

[00:41:58.818 – 00:42:00.798] I went home once.

[00:42:00.798 – 00:42:10.898] The last eleven months I drank, and I walked in, and Grace looked at me, and she said, “Do you have to drink and do the things that you do?” And I said, “Grace, I cannot stop drinking.

[00:42:10.898 – 00:42:15.158] Why don’t you find another man that will marry you?

[00:42:15.158 – 00:42:21.837] You’re such a fine lady, and that’ll be a good father to those two fine little boys.

[00:42:21.837 – 00:42:24.358] I cannot function as a son.

[00:42:24.358 – 00:42:26.498] I cannot function as a father.

[00:42:26.498 – 00:42:29.338] I cannot function as a husband.

[00:42:29.338 – 00:42:32.498] I cannot function as a professional man.

[00:42:32.498 – 00:42:34.638] I’m gonna die drunk.

[00:42:34.638 – 00:42:44.918] I have no desire to live.” I didn’t tell you that my mother and father, in the religion they were born in, lived in, died in, very devout, they lit the candles

[00:42:44.918 – 00:42:48.658] of the dead and said the prayers of the dead on this eighth day.

[00:42:48.658 – 00:42:53.657] As far as they were concerned, I was no longer their son.

[00:42:53.657 – 00:42:57.118] I was no longer alive, alive on this earth in their mind.

[00:42:57.118 – 00:42:59.918] I had no desire to live.

[00:42:59.918 – 00:43:03.958] Everything what I thought near and dear was gone.

[00:43:03.958 – 00:43:13.778] And after I had that visit with Grace, I picked up that bottle and I walked out of the house, and I proceeded to try to kill myself.

[00:43:13.778 – 00:43:21.158] And I found out one thing, that until God calls you home, you’re not going anywhere.

[00:43:21.158 – 00:43:26.278] And I ended up in what I hope to be the last jail I’ll ever be in in my life.

[00:43:26.278 – 00:43:28.698] And I’ve been in lots of jails.

[00:43:28.698 – 00:43:36.478] And somewhere along the line on April 18th at night, I really don’t know, I found the handwriting on the floor of the county jail in Dallas, Texas.

[00:43:36.478 – 00:43:43.798] As I said, I’ve been in lots of jails, and being in jail is not a requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:43:43.798 – 00:43:46.198] By this time, I run out of people.

[00:43:46.198 – 00:43:47.078] I run out of money.

[00:43:47.078 – 00:43:48.118] I run out of alcohol.

[00:43:48.118 – 00:43:56.538] I got down to me, and me couldn’t stay sober, and me couldn’t stay drunk, and me couldn’t kill myself, and me couldn’t stay alive, and me didn’t want me, and me was…

[00:43:56.538 – 00:44:00.778] And I screamed out on that jail floor.

[00:44:00.778 – 00:44:04.078] I didn’t even put a condition on it.

[00:44:04.078 – 00:44:14.098] I just simply said, “God, help me.” And I know right this very second that there’s not only a God for me then, but, uh, right this very tick of

[00:44:14.098 – 00:44:17.678] a second of a time because I’m still here, and I’ve not had a drink of alcohol.

[00:44:17.678 – 00:44:28.698] But the minute I got me out of the way with no conditions and not begging or anything else, just said, “God, help me,” deep down inside, something kept saying, “Continuous

[00:44:28.698 – 00:44:30.338] sobriety, Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:44:30.338 – 00:44:37.398] Continuous sobriety, Alcoholics Anonymous,” those precious words that fine lady said to me seventeen years prior.

[00:44:37.398 – 00:44:47.558] And I said, “If I ever get out of this jail, I’m gonna find those people in Alcoholics Anonymous.” And how I got by that old sheriff, I don’t know,

[00:44:47.558 – 00:44:53.698] because the next to the last time I was in this jail, as I was being released, he asked that I be brought to him.

[00:44:53.698 – 00:44:54.718] And I did.

[00:44:54.718 – 00:44:57.478] He looked at me, and he knew my father very, very well.

[00:44:57.478 – 00:45:00.718] My mother and father were tremendously respected people.

[00:45:00.718 – 00:45:02.598] And he looked at me.

[00:45:02.598 – 00:45:12.618] He said, “Boy, if you ever show up at my jail again for drinking and drunk and doing the things that you do, I’ll have you put away to where you’ll never bother another human being,

[00:45:12.618 – 00:45:18.738] bird, tree, dog, or rock.” And how I got by him this time, I don’t know.

[00:45:18.738 – 00:45:23.158] When I got out, I started looking for the members of Alcoholics Anonymous that I knew.

[00:45:23.158 – 00:45:31.978] I found out that Edith, the gal who asked me to come to her first year birthday, she had passed away, but she was continuously sober when she died.

[00:45:31.978 – 00:45:36.238] Her sponsor, Moena, had moved, moved to West Texas.

[00:45:36.238 – 00:45:40.938] And after I was sober nine months, she came back to the group of which I was a member.

[00:45:40.938 – 00:45:42.478] She was an original member.

[00:45:42.478 – 00:45:44.638] She was a group secretary.

[00:45:44.638 – 00:45:46.418] She later went back to manicuring.

[00:45:46.418 – 00:45:49.878] And I used to see Moena every Wednesday morning at eight o’clock.

[00:45:49.878 – 00:45:54.258] And in March of 1986, Moena passed away.

[00:45:54.258 – 00:46:00.978] And if she would have lived two more months, she would have been thirty-seven continuous years sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:46:00.978 – 00:46:02.278] There was a man at that meeting.

[00:46:02.278 – 00:46:03.678] He was sober eight years.

[00:46:03.678 – 00:46:05.058] He drank for eight years.

[00:46:05.058 – 00:46:09.958] And this past May, he celebrated his twenty-eighth continuous sobriety this stretch.

[00:46:09.958 – 00:46:14.418] He’s the only one that I knew that I could think of that was in that meeting.

[00:46:14.418 – 00:46:16.650] And I called him up.

[00:46:16.650 – 00:46:18.030] I didn’t know if he was alive.

[00:46:18.030 – 00:46:19.990] I didn’t know where he, he, but I found…

[00:46:19.990 – 00:46:21.420] And I knew he was in business.

[00:46:21.420 – 00:46:25.650] And I called him up, and he wanted to know who it was for.

[00:46:25.650 – 00:46:30.090] And I said, “It’s for me.” He said, “Well, we have a meeting tomorrow night.

[00:46:30.090 – 00:46:31.990] Let’s just go and get it over with.

[00:46:31.990 – 00:46:39.250] And don’t you take a drink of alcohol today, and call me at 7:30 in the morning.” Boom, and he hung up, and that’s all he told me.

[00:46:39.250 – 00:46:44.930] And after 37 and a half years giving it the best shot, it’s cold turkey.

[00:46:44.930 – 00:46:48.350] Well, it’s more like frozen buzzard, if you want to know the truth about it.

[00:46:48.350 – 00:46:51.329] I started walking and shaking out a drunk.

[00:46:51.329 – 00:46:57.850] And when I come to the next morning, I was sober, and I didn’t have a belly full of tranquilizers or anything, or a prescription for 500 more.

[00:46:57.850 – 00:47:00.120] And at 7:30 in the morning, I called him.

[00:47:00.120 – 00:47:04.410] He said, “Are you drinking?” And I says, “No, sir.” He said, “Don’t you take a drink of alcohol.

[00:47:04.410 – 00:47:08.050] And call me at 3:30 this afternoon.” And boom, and he hung up.

[00:47:08.050 – 00:47:10.410] And he started that walking and that shaking.

[00:47:10.410 – 00:47:11.760] And at 3:30, I called him.

[00:47:11.760 – 00:47:12.090] I said…

[00:47:12.090 – 00:47:22.130] He said to me, “Are you drinking alcohol?” I says, “No, sir.” He says, “Do you really want to come to an AA meeting?” I said, “More than anything else in this world.” He said, “Do

[00:47:22.130 – 00:47:25.570] you want me to come get you?” And being about as humble as Hitler.

[00:47:25.570 – 00:47:35.470] I said, “I’ll get there under my own steam.” And he, and he hung up, and he told me where to go.

[00:47:35.470 – 00:47:37.090] Well, I was in a terrible predicament.

[00:47:37.090 – 00:47:40.590] All of my possessions and all the clothes I owned, I had on.

[00:47:40.590 – 00:47:50.450] Had an old pair of therma- thermal underwear, an old gray sweater with the elbows out of the elbows, an old pair of flannel pants with all of my possessions in it.

[00:47:50.450 – 00:47:53.370] No socks, but I still hadn’t quite lost everything yet.

[00:47:53.370 – 00:47:55.950] Had a pair of beat-up old alligator shoes.

[00:47:55.950 – 00:48:02.670] And the only money I had was 30 cents, and that was all that was left from the last blood I’d sold blood at the wine…

[00:48:02.670 – 00:48:05.150] at the, at the blood bank, you know, to buy wine.

[00:48:05.150 – 00:48:09.250] And I’m gonna tell you right now, when one comes to AA in that shape, one’s not doing well.

[00:48:09.250 – 00:48:17.410] And I looked at myself in an old dirty mirror, and I brushed myself off and I said, “I can’t go to Alcoholics Anonymous looking like this.

[00:48:17.410 – 00:48:22.430] I’m a professional man.” And I heard Grace had thrown out all my clothes.

[00:48:22.430 – 00:48:24.070] So I called her up.

[00:48:24.070 – 00:48:24.929] I took a chance.

[00:48:24.929 – 00:48:25.530] I called her up.

[00:48:25.530 – 00:48:35.730] She said, “Who is this?” I said, “Me.” She said, “What does me want?” I said, “Grace, do you happen to have one of my old suits?” She says, “Yes, I have one, and it is to bury

[00:48:35.730 – 00:48:41.010] you in.” And that’s before she even come to Al-Anon, you know.

[00:48:41.010 – 00:48:46.830] I then asked that woman the most foolish question I have ever asked her in my life.

[00:48:46.830 – 00:48:54.250] I said, “Do you mind if I borrow it for a little while?” And that suit’s a story in itself.

[00:48:54.250 – 00:48:56.290] And she allowed me to come into her house.

[00:48:56.290 – 00:48:57.990] She was paying the bills.

[00:48:57.990 – 00:49:05.490] Now, when I walked in and I told them I’m going to Alcoholics Anonymous, there wasn’t instant joy, and they didn’t jump around or anything else.

[00:49:05.490 – 00:49:06.170] Gosh, no.

[00:49:06.170 – 00:49:12.170] Everything I walked by and touched and inhaled and breathed on, she ran behind me and she sprayed.

[00:49:12.170 – 00:49:22.210] And I put that old suit on, and I bid she and the young’uns goodbye, and I got into a Mustang that the bank was looking to repossess it, but they couldn’t

[00:49:22.210 – 00:49:22.790] recognize it.

[00:49:22.790 – 00:49:24.150] Looked like an accordion.

[00:49:24.150 – 00:49:26.530] And off I went to the meeting.

[00:49:26.530 – 00:49:31.370] And I walked in, looked like the same people that were there 17 years earlier.

[00:49:31.370 – 00:49:44.450] And one of the older members came over, and he bent over and he looked at me, and he grinned from ear to ear and he said, “We knew you’d be back.” And

[00:49:44.450 – 00:49:47.090] I’m gonna tell you about the greatest AA talk I’ve ever heard in my life.

[00:49:47.090 – 00:49:50.590] If your group hadn’t told it to you, you’ve been cheated.

[00:49:50.590 – 00:49:52.150] That fine member there…

[00:49:52.150 – 00:49:53.010] Listen, and, and you know what?

[00:49:53.010 – 00:49:54.270] At AA, we don’t have any speakers.

[00:49:54.270 – 00:49:56.070] We, we got a bunch of talkers, you know.

[00:49:56.070 – 00:50:00.250] And, and ours is the language of the heart, and thank God it’s not the language of the gutter.

[00:50:00.250 – 00:50:04.110] And this fine man then looked at me and he said, “Welcome.

[00:50:04.110 – 00:50:05.930] Come in.

[00:50:05.930 – 00:50:10.150] Sit down and have a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about it.

[00:50:10.150 – 00:50:19.090] We understand exactly how you feel.” That was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone shook my hand, honestly.

[00:50:19.090 – 00:50:24.010] The first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone invited me to come in, honestly.

[00:50:24.010 – 00:50:29.310] First time in the last 17 years of drinking anyone asked me to sit down and share a cup of coffee with them.

[00:50:29.310 – 00:50:39.610] And it certainly was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone said to me, “We understand exactly how you feel.” And when the meeting got started, that was the first time in the last 17

[00:50:39.610 – 00:50:45.350] years of my drinking anyone invited me to come sit in a, a meeting of recovery or of anything of that nature.

[00:50:45.350 – 00:50:48.660] And I’m drunk, and I’m shaking rather, and I’m jumping.

[00:50:48.660 – 00:50:54.710] And the drunks are on either side of me, and they got their hands on my knees and my elbows and my shoulders, and they’re saying, “Easy does it.

[00:50:54.710 – 00:50:56.030] First things first.

[00:50:56.030 – 00:50:59.510] This too will pass.” And then when they guy…

[00:50:59.510 – 00:51:08.230] was over with and they passed the basket, it was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that anybody put any money in front of me I didn’t take it out and put some…

[00:51:08.230 – 00:51:09.710] not put something in.

[00:51:09.710 – 00:51:19.790] And when it was over with, that’s the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking anyone asked me to stand and, and say the prayers with them, the Lord’s Prayer, and I did not know the Lord’s

[00:51:19.790 – 00:51:20.140] Prayer.

[00:51:20.140 – 00:51:21.950] And no one called me an atheist.

[00:51:21.950 – 00:51:23.510] No one called me an agnostic.

[00:51:23.510 – 00:51:24.830] No one called me an idiot.

[00:51:24.830 – 00:51:26.110] No one called me a dummy.

[00:51:26.110 – 00:51:36.120] And when that was over with, it was the first time in the last 17 years of my drinking that fine people came up to me, and they hugged me and they kissed me, and they told me that they loved me because

[00:51:36.120 – 00:51:40.390] what I had become and what I was right then at that time.

[00:51:40.390 – 00:51:44.810] And when I got ready to leave, those fine people said, “David, please come back.

[00:51:44.810 – 00:51:49.830] We need you, and you need us.” Folks, that is Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:51:49.830 – 00:51:51.930] Nothing more, nothing less.

[00:51:51.930 – 00:52:01.970] Just God’s grace working through the sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous, clinging

[00:52:01.970 – 00:52:08.130] and holding on to a human being alcoholic who thought life was over with and didn’t want to live anymore.

[00:52:08.130 – 00:52:16.650] And when I got to you people, little did I realize that Grace and our two sons would ever be under one roof again.

[00:52:16.650 – 00:52:26.778] Because that marriage had been written off by everything and everybody Including Grace and myself, uh, but only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics

[00:52:26.778 – 00:52:31.418] Anonymous in my life, and only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Al-Anon in Grace’s life.

[00:52:31.418 – 00:52:39.218] That beautiful and wonderful lady, this past June the 10th, Grace and I celebrated 50 years, and that’s pretty good for a drunk.

[00:52:39.218 – 00:52:49.358] As I reflect back, when Grace and I got married in June the 10th, that’s also

[00:52:49.358 – 00:52:52.698] A’s birthday, Alcoholics Anonymous was only eight years old.

[00:52:52.698 – 00:52:59.398] Now, I, I wa– and although we’ve been married 50 years, I, I wasn’t there for many, many years, you know?

[00:52:59.398 – 00:53:01.278] I wasn’t there for many…

[00:53:01.278 – 00:53:11.858] Now, I’m not gonna stand up here and tell you ’cause I’m in AA and Grace is in Al-Anon that our marriage is absolutely perfect, that the bluebirds are hugging and kissing and cooing, and that the butterflies

[00:53:11.858 – 00:53:13.178] are tranquil and sleeping.

[00:53:13.178 – 00:53:14.118] No, uh-uh.

[00:53:14.118 – 00:53:17.938] We have a few short rounds in, and we have a few long rounds every now and then.

[00:53:17.938 – 00:53:21.018] That’s what you call clearing the air, communicating.

[00:53:21.018 – 00:53:27.438] The best way I can describe our marriage today, it’s built on solid, constructive imperfection.

[00:53:27.438 – 00:53:31.058] Because it’s by our imperfections that we grow.

[00:53:31.058 – 00:53:33.918] And anyway, I go six, seven, eight meetings a week.

[00:53:33.918 – 00:53:36.778] Grace goes out two, three, four, maybe Al-Anon meetings a week.

[00:53:36.778 – 00:53:40.298] We don’t see each other enough to have all that nitpicking, arguing, fighting fuss.

[00:53:40.298 – 00:53:47.317] Our two sons are grown today, and they are tremendously successful, and I didn’t have a darn thing to do with it.

[00:53:47.317 – 00:53:54.618] Uh, our oldest son, when he was 15 years of age, he had a butcher knife to my breastbone, and he’s gonna kill me for what I was doing to their mother.

[00:53:54.618 – 00:54:00.318] Because you see, their mother was their mother, their mother was their father, their mother was their Santa Claus.

[00:54:00.318 – 00:54:02.298] Their mother took them to the Little League.

[00:54:02.298 – 00:54:03.678] Their mother took them to the Scouts.

[00:54:03.678 – 00:54:07.158] Their mother took them to, uh, on their vacations and to the park.

[00:54:07.158 – 00:54:07.978] I wanted to.

[00:54:07.978 – 00:54:09.158] I wanted to.

[00:54:09.158 – 00:54:16.238] I’d go watch them play baseball, you know, Little League baseball, and I said, “Well, I gotta go use the phone,” and I’d come back, and they’d be playing football.

[00:54:16.238 – 00:54:18.158] I didn’t want to be that way.

[00:54:18.158 – 00:54:20.658] I didn’t want to be that way.

[00:54:20.658 – 00:54:25.418] No one in their right mind wants to live in the manner in which we used to when we find out what was wrong with us.

[00:54:25.418 – 00:54:26.918] I didn’t, I didn’t know this.

[00:54:26.918 – 00:54:27.738] I certainly didn’t.

[00:54:27.738 – 00:54:30.117] But let me tell you something, that…

[00:54:30.117 – 00:54:37.878] He dropped that butcher knife, and he spat in my face, and he says, “You’re no longer my father, and I’m no longer your son,” and he walked out of my life.

[00:54:37.878 – 00:54:47.878] And I had no communication with him for a number of years, but only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, and only because of God’s grace through the miracle of

[00:54:47.878 – 00:54:56.278] Al-Anon in the family life, today, we not only have a wonderful father and son relationship with son one and son two, but more important, we’re the best of friends.

[00:54:56.278 – 00:55:06.018] When I got sober, I had to go to the regulatory agency that regulates my, the profession to make a living.

[00:55:06.018 – 00:55:10.838] And I had to go down there a- and tell them the truth.

[00:55:10.838 – 00:55:13.538] Promises kill drunks.

[00:55:13.538 – 00:55:16.378] I had to go down and tell them what I did.

[00:55:16.378 – 00:55:17.798] They knew it.

[00:55:17.798 – 00:55:19.778] They wanted to hear it from me.

[00:55:19.778 – 00:55:29.458] And since I violated none of the Drug Enforcement Agency acts or anything like that, because when I drank, I stayed out of my office.

[00:55:29.458 – 00:55:30.858] I stayed away from people.

[00:55:30.858 – 00:55:32.838] I didn’t want any part of it.

[00:55:32.838 – 00:55:34.097] I didn’t.

[00:55:34.097 – 00:55:36.198] It wasn’t that I was extra brilliant.

[00:55:36.198 – 00:55:38.138] I’d just get drunk and start wandering.

[00:55:38.138 – 00:55:47.598] And I went down there and told them what I did, and they kept me down there for a week, and they said, “We’re gonna let you go back to work,” and I’ve been there ever since.

[00:55:47.598 – 00:55:57.758] And you know, you, um, I, many, many members of Alcoholics Anonymous and those that know me well enough, uh, out of AA have asked me, says, “You’ve been gone

[00:55:57.758 – 00:55:58.678] long stretches.

[00:55:58.678 – 00:55:59.738] You’ve been locked up.

[00:55:59.738 – 00:56:00.438] You this or that.

[00:56:00.438 – 00:56:04.838] How did you ever get through school?” Well, I’ll tell you.

[00:56:04.838 – 00:56:07.178] I was my class valedictorian in high school.

[00:56:07.178 – 00:56:11.838] I finished second of a class of four hundred and fifty at Southern Methodist University.

[00:56:11.838 – 00:56:15.078] I’m a graduate of Baylor University College of Dentistry.

[00:56:15.078 – 00:56:18.228] And they said, “How’d you do it?” It’s real simple.

[00:56:18.228 – 00:56:19.598] You cheat.

[00:56:19.598 – 00:56:29.618] It doesn’t take our kind long to find another human being who will do for us what we cannot possibly do for

[00:56:29.618 – 00:56:30.098] ourselves.

[00:56:30.098 – 00:56:37.998] And so only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, now I have a sober life today.

[00:56:37.998 – 00:56:48.018] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of the recovery program, I have a God today, a God of my very own, a God that I found through the Big Book and the 12 Steps and through you

[00:56:48.018 – 00:56:49.378] people and from nowhere else.

[00:56:49.378 – 00:56:54.438] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a family that loves me.

[00:56:54.438 – 00:56:56.478] I have a roof over my head.

[00:56:56.478 – 00:57:01.778] I have hundreds of thousands of friends in Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon and Alateen all over this world.

[00:57:01.778 – 00:57:05.878] I have a few dollars in my pocket, a few dollars in the bank.

[00:57:05.878 – 00:57:06.498] Not many.

[00:57:06.498 – 00:57:08.478] I have some reasonably nice clothes today.

[00:57:08.478 – 00:57:11.658] I have two cars with gasoline in them, I hope.

[00:57:11.658 – 00:57:15.978] I have meat in the refrigerator and groceries in the pantry, and I’ll tell you a little secret.

[00:57:15.978 – 00:57:20.198] If you want anything any more than that, you’re either oversexed or just plumb crazy.

[00:57:20.198 – 00:57:22.478] Yeah.

[00:57:22.478 – 00:57:23.668] Yeah.

[00:57:23.668 – 00:57:27.607] And y’all have been so kind, and I’m gonna leave you with something.

[00:57:27.607 – 00:57:30.278] I don’t tell this very often, but I don’t know why.

[00:57:30.278 – 00:57:34.778] There’s a little youngster that, he lived in, in the Midwest in an orphanage.

[00:57:34.778 – 00:57:38.378] And he had a terrible stuttering impediment.

[00:57:38.378 – 00:57:44.978] And he didn’t– and every– and the harder he tried to get rid of it, the worse it got, and the worse it got, the harder he tried.

[00:57:44.978 – 00:57:54.998] And all the other little kids used to, used to get him to talk so he’d start stuttering, and they’d make fun of him and everything else, and, and he didn’t like himself, and he didn’t want to

[00:57:54.998 – 00:57:55.618] be that way.

[00:57:55.618 – 00:58:03.598] In fact, he tried to kill himself by, by tying himself at the top of a, a tree, and they cut him down.

[00:58:03.598 – 00:58:08.438] And that little youngster, all of a sudden, he found something.

[00:58:08.438 – 00:58:13.878] He was walking around, and he had the most beautiful look in his eye, and he had a smile on his face.

[00:58:13.878 – 00:58:21.738] And no, no matter how hard those youngsters tried to get him to talk, he had found the key.

[00:58:21.738 – 00:58:28.938] As long as he didn’t utter, utter that first syllable, there is no way in the world he would stutter.

[00:58:28.938 – 00:58:33.298] And he became a source of amazement to all the youngsters.

[00:58:33.298 – 00:58:34.698] They didn’t know what happened to him.

[00:58:34.698 – 00:58:36.218] The change was so profound.

[00:58:36.218 – 00:58:42.958] And one Sunday morning, the visiting preacher didn’t come, and they didn’t have anybody to read the devotional prayers.

[00:58:42.958 – 00:58:48.678] And so the superintendent called for volunteers, and little stuttering Johnny held his hand up.

[00:58:48.678 – 00:58:58.698] Superintendent looked at him and said, “Johnny, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” And he says, “Yes.” “Well,” he says, “come on.” And little Johnny got up, and he opened up the prayer book, and he began to

[00:58:58.698 – 00:58:59.098] read.

[00:58:59.098 – 00:59:06.638] And as he began to read, he– there– he– every word, every syllable, there wasn’t a stutter whatsoever.

[00:59:06.638 – 00:59:08.078] It was absolutely perfect.

[00:59:08.078 – 00:59:17.238] And there came from within him a look through his eyes, the kind of look that I saw in Edith’s eyes in that barbershop over twenty-six years ago.

[00:59:17.238 – 00:59:22.778] The kind of look that I saw in the people’s eyes at that meeting that I came where they welcomed me in.

[00:59:22.778 – 00:59:26.958] It’s the kind of look that I’m seeing in your eyes right this very second.

[00:59:26.958 – 00:59:34.478] And today, I know what that look is, that God is doing for us what we cannot and could not possibly do for ourselves.

[00:59:34.478 – 00:59:39.438] And as little Johnny read, his look became more beautiful and more beautiful and more beautiful.

[00:59:39.438 – 00:59:43.358] And when he finished, when he said, “Amen,” there was a deathly silence.

[00:59:43.358 – 00:59:53.878] And after the services were over with, the superintendent ran up to little Johnny, and he hugged him, and he kissed him on his forehead, and he says, “Johnny, you read those words perfectly.

[00:59:53.878 – 01:00:03.998] You didn’t even stutter once.” And little Johnny looked up to him and his eyes beaming and a smile from his face ear to ear, and he says,

[01:00:03.998 – 01:00:04.138] “Mr.

[01:00:04.138 – 01:00:14.218] Superintendent, when I read and when I talk to the God of my understanding, I do not stutter because I know that He loves me.” God

[01:00:14.218 – 01:00:15.678] bless each and every one, and thank you.

[01:00:15.678 – 01:00:16.458] I love you so much.

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