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[00:00:00.520 – 00:00:01.080] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:01.080 – 00:00:03.160] My name is David A., and I am an alcoholic.

[00:00:03.160 – 00:00:03.920] Hi.

[00:00:03.920 – 00:00:13.940] And with a belief in a power greater than myself, whom I call God, and with the help of many, many people such as you, I have not found it necessary, nor have I taken a drink of an alcoholic

[00:00:13.940 – 00:00:16.860] nature since April the 20th, 1967.

[00:00:16.860 – 00:00:18.520] And for this, I am so thankful.

[00:00:18.520 – 00:00:30.960] Uh, Norman, I, w- uh, i- I’ve seen the day, and it was the day when I used to fly into this territory unaided, and- Before

[00:00:30.960 – 00:00:38.010] I get started, I want to thank the committee for inviting me to be a part of this 17th…

[00:00:38.010 – 00:00:47.200] I don’t know whether to say Northwest Florida First in Alabama, or Alabama and Northwest Florida.

[00:00:47.200 – 00:00:51.860] I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but if you don’t like which way I say it, that’s your problem.

[00:00:51.860 – 00:00:55.940] And it’s a pleasure to be here.

[00:00:55.940 – 00:00:58.300] This is quite an experience.

[00:00:58.300 – 00:01:06.400] And if you think that band’s gonna start playing at 9:15, y’all are crazier than hell.

[00:01:06.400 – 00:01:07.320] I don’t mind telling you.

[00:01:07.320 – 00:01:21.360] Being

[00:01:21.360 – 00:01:31.800] that we’ve heard all kinds of stories, jokes of all description and nature, I

[00:01:31.800 – 00:01:34.520] think it’s about time for a spiritual meeting.

[00:01:34.520 – 00:01:45.520] And so I’ve taken from my text for my, for the, the sermon, from a text, rather- …

[00:01:45.520 – 00:01:54.860] from the only text that I know today, and that is the big book, the textbook, or the basic text for Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:01:54.860 – 00:02:03.020] And in this particular text, it says our story is disclosed in a general way of what we used to be like, what happened, and what it is like now.

[00:02:03.020 – 00:02:05.540] And all I know is my story.

[00:02:05.540 – 00:02:15.179] And anything else I tell you other than my story, or any experiences that I’ve had all the way through the story, would be off the top of my head or pure ego.

[00:02:15.179 – 00:02:25.280] We hear in and out and around Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, that, and we hear it in our part of the country because we swing off and tail off in what we call the Bible

[00:02:25.280 – 00:02:26.620] Belt in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:02:26.620 – 00:02:32.640] And we hear it all the time in our meetings, you know, I come from a fine Christian home.

[00:02:32.640 – 00:02:37.360] And I had a fine Christian religious background.

[00:02:37.360 – 00:02:40.160] And I had a fine Christian education.

[00:02:40.160 – 00:02:41.000] Why me?

[00:02:41.000 – 00:02:41.580] Why me?

[00:02:41.580 – 00:02:43.280] Why’d I have to become the alcoholic?

[00:02:43.280 – 00:02:46.560] Well, I tell you, I didn’t come from a fine Christian home.

[00:02:46.560 – 00:02:51.500] And I didn’t have a fine Christian religious upbringing.

[00:02:51.500 – 00:02:53.820] I didn’t even marry a fine Christian woman.

[00:02:53.820 – 00:03:01.900] And we didn’t raise our two boys in the fine Christian manner in which you would normally understand.

[00:03:01.900 – 00:03:04.920] Very honestly and very humbly, I am an alcoholic Jew.

[00:03:04.920 – 00:03:14.980] We

[00:03:14.980 – 00:03:25.000] also hear in and around Alcoholics Anonymous that no one will hold you down and pour a drink of liquor in you, and no one will get you drunk,

[00:03:25.000 – 00:03:26.800] but in my case, that was not true.

[00:03:26.800 – 00:03:35.760] Because in our religion, when a boy is born, after the eighth day, they name him and introduce him into the tribe.

[00:03:35.760 – 00:03:40.620] And it’s done in a very unique manner.

[00:03:40.620 – 00:03:47.100] Now, in my case, I was from the old school, you know?

[00:03:47.100 – 00:03:57.240] Now, the gentleman that performed this ceremony in my case, he had a black hat and a long black beard and a long white robe, and his tool and trade was a sharp little

[00:03:57.240 – 00:03:58.240] knife.

[00:03:58.240 – 00:04:08.400] And this gentleman wasn’t licensed to perform surgery or medicine or to give an anesthesia,

[00:04:08.400 – 00:04:10.520] so his helper is the godfather.

[00:04:10.520 – 00:04:18.459] And the godfather, his job is to procure an old-fashioned ice tea glass and fill it full of hundred-proof old Guggenheim.

[00:04:18.459 – 00:04:24.060] They use old Guggenheim because they like to keep everything among the relatives.

[00:04:24.060 – 00:04:34.400] And after he fills that glass with that juice, then he gets a big wad of gauze, and he soaks it thoroughly in the bourbon.

[00:04:34.400 – 00:04:42.840] And after it’s soaked thoroughly in the bourbon, then he takes it out and places one hand over the baby’s mouth, which he did in my case, so my mother told me, or someone told me.

[00:04:42.840 – 00:04:50.040] And then he takes that gauze and that alcohol, and he wafts it gently in front of the baby’s nose and lets him inhale himself to sleep, you see.

[00:04:50.040 – 00:05:00.100] And right when that man with that little knife says, “Ready,” that’s when that godfather opened up that mouth and shoved that alcohol and that gauze in my mouth, and that’s when the first drink of alcohol was forced down

[00:05:00.100 – 00:05:01.620] me against my will.

[00:05:01.620 – 00:05:12.560] And

[00:05:12.560 – 00:05:14.920] I’ve had one heck of a problem ever since.

[00:05:14.920 – 00:05:23.120] So you see, long ago, I had to give up something in order to get started in this way of life.

[00:05:23.120 – 00:05:35.040] Alcohol

[00:05:35.040 – 00:05:41.140] has been in and around our family all of our, all of my living days that I know about.

[00:05:41.140 – 00:05:46.020] I was raised in an old Orthodox Jewish family.

[00:05:46.020 – 00:05:56.040] My mother and father married in this country, but they were both born in Europe, and they immigrated to this country because of religious oppression,

[00:05:56.040 – 00:06:01.580] and to come to a land to where they could worship the God of their understanding and comfort.

[00:06:01.580 – 00:06:06.144] And they married, and there were two boys born to that marriage, and I was the eldest.

[00:06:06.144 – 00:06:09.844] My father could not read or write English, neither could my mother.

[00:06:09.844 – 00:06:15.504] They went to night school and learned to read and write, and my father became a tremendous financial success.

[00:06:15.504 – 00:06:25.224] And their main ambition in their life was to give their two boys everything that was denied them because of who they were and what they were.

[00:06:25.224 – 00:06:34.583] And this fear and this family closeness, and we were raised as youngsters, don’t intermarry, don’t do this, don’t do that.

[00:06:34.583 – 00:06:35.684] Stick with a kind.

[00:06:35.684 – 00:06:37.464] Something bad’s gonna happen to you.

[00:06:37.464 – 00:06:42.404] And I was one of the kind that, you know, what they told me not to do, I went out and did.

[00:06:42.404 – 00:06:49.364] And we were taught as youngsters about alcohol, that Jews do not become drunkards.

[00:06:49.364 – 00:06:53.104] It’s all right for you dirty Gentiles, but Jews don’t do that.

[00:06:53.104 – 00:06:57.384] They’re God’s chosen people, you know.

[00:06:57.384 – 00:07:01.504] Drink it in moderation.

[00:07:01.504 – 00:07:02.904] It’s always there.

[00:07:02.904 – 00:07:12.924] And as, as ever since I’ve been born and sitting at table can remember, Daddy would pull out an ounce, you know, or two, and he’d always take it as an appetizer in the evening, and

[00:07:12.924 – 00:07:14.324] he’d drink it, and it’s around then.

[00:07:14.324 – 00:07:24.344] But as far as I can ascertain on both my mother’s and father’s side, all the way back to Moses, I guess, I was the

[00:07:24.344 – 00:07:27.124] only one that could not take it and leave it alone.

[00:07:27.124 – 00:07:37.264] And there something happened to me when I was five or six or seven years of age, that when I drank that alcohol, it infected something within

[00:07:37.264 – 00:07:41.004] me, that I wanted to take another drink.

[00:07:41.004 – 00:07:43.084] I liked what it did to me.

[00:07:43.084 – 00:07:45.264] I liked the effects of alcohol.

[00:07:45.264 – 00:07:55.694] And for years and years and years and years, I thought I drank because things were bad, conditions were bad, my wife, my kids, the Democrats, the Republicans,

[00:07:55.694 – 00:07:56.684] you name it.

[00:07:56.684 – 00:08:03.844] And but when I came to you people and you shoved a book, and one of these days, it’s gonna be the best-read book in AA, I believe.

[00:08:03.844 – 00:08:10.483] It may take a little time after a few hundred thousand drunks, but, you know, it, it’s gonna get there.

[00:08:10.483 – 00:08:20.464] And you shoved that book in my hand, and it read about the nature of our malady, of our illness.

[00:08:20.464 – 00:08:25.824] I know why I’m an alcoholic, because I have alcoholism.

[00:08:25.824 – 00:08:27.444] That’s the reason I’m an alcoholic.

[00:08:27.444 – 00:08:31.264] And I never found alcoholism in the bottle.

[00:08:31.264 – 00:08:33.004] Found alcohol in there.

[00:08:33.004 – 00:08:37.244] But alcohol found alcoholism within me.

[00:08:37.244 – 00:08:41.744] Roll that around in your head a little bit.

[00:08:41.744 – 00:08:46.214] Roll that around.

[00:08:46.214 – 00:08:46.974] Think about it.

[00:08:46.974 – 00:08:57.994] And we were taught as youngsters to be a part of the family and to worship God and

[00:08:57.994 – 00:08:59.764] be good people and be honest.

[00:08:59.764 – 00:09:03.844] Something happened to me when I drank that alcohol.

[00:09:03.844 – 00:09:05.784] I liked the taste.

[00:09:05.784 – 00:09:06.734] I liked the effects.

[00:09:06.734 – 00:09:11.804] I liked what it allowed me to do to other people, with other people, to other people, above all, what it did to me.

[00:09:11.804 – 00:09:22.464] And there seems to be some obsession in the old Orthodox Jewish families that their sons become either a rabbi, God bless them, a

[00:09:22.464 – 00:09:28.644] physician, a banker, an attorney, certified public accountant.

[00:09:28.644 – 00:09:36.404] And they, and they look on them with disfavor, you know, if he goes to work for the city garbage department or if he’s a plumber’s helper.

[00:09:36.404 – 00:09:39.844] That’s all right for your kind, but not for our kind.

[00:09:39.844 – 00:09:46.644] Somebody that is noted for his education and his brains and his smarts.

[00:09:46.644 – 00:09:49.584] And it was hammered in that.

[00:09:49.584 – 00:09:53.124] My mother wanted me to be a concert pianist, and I didn’t want to be one.

[00:09:53.124 – 00:09:59.204] I wanted to run around with the girls, you know, and swim and play baseball and football and do all those things.

[00:09:59.204 – 00:10:05.324] And when I was a little kid, and I was four or five years of age, and the Ku Klux Klan was running around pretty good in our part of the country, you know?

[00:10:05.324 – 00:10:11.864] And this intense fear from this oppression in the old country, my, my mother and father used to hide us under the bed, you know?

[00:10:11.864 – 00:10:15.184] And they’d run around with those sheets, and I’d want to get out there with them, you know?

[00:10:15.184 – 00:10:18.704] Klan’s list.

[00:10:18.704 – 00:10:21.743] First was the Blacks, then the Catholics, then the Jew, and the dog.

[00:10:21.743 – 00:10:27.564] And I want to go on record now telling you we never lost the dog.

[00:10:27.564 – 00:10:33.684] And this is the kind of life, you know.

[00:10:33.684 – 00:10:43.904] And for some reason or other, I wanted to be everybody’s friend, and I wanted everybody to love me, and I wanted everybody to understand me, and I wanted everybody to take me, call it wanted.

[00:10:43.904 – 00:10:45.344] You see, I just wanted to be liked.

[00:10:45.344 – 00:10:46.264] I wanted to be a part.

[00:10:46.264 – 00:10:48.124] I wanted to be what’s known as a regular fellow.

[00:10:48.124 – 00:10:56.384] Because in my mind, I used to think that my little friends used to see me, and that’s back in the days before air conditioning and window fans and everything else, you know.

[00:10:56.384 – 00:10:59.864] And, and in the summertime, out in our part of the country, it’s hot.

[00:10:59.864 – 00:11:05.944] And my mother would make me sit there at that piano, and I’d run away, and she’d take all my clothes off and tie me, you know, with a rope around to the door.

[00:11:05.944 – 00:11:10.704] And the kids would look in the, in the window, you know, and say, “Shame, shame on David,” you know, and all that kind of…

[00:11:10.704 – 00:11:13.324] And it wasn’t them.

[00:11:13.324 – 00:11:14.804] It was my mother that up again about that.

[00:11:14.804 – 00:11:25.124] You know, I’m not gonna tell you I became an alcoholic ’cause I sucked my thumb, or that someone stole my little red wagon when I was about, you know, four years old, or the yard man scared my mother when she was seven months pregnant

[00:11:25.124 – 00:11:25.444] with me.

[00:11:25.444 – 00:11:25.704] No.

[00:11:25.704 – 00:11:32.644] I have a strong suspicion that I may be alcoholic ’cause I drank alcohol.

[00:11:32.644 – 00:11:39.464] And so things were unhappy.

[00:11:39.464 – 00:11:47.424] When I was nine years of age, I discovered something else that seems to go along with alcohol as far as me.

[00:11:47.424 – 00:11:52.184] I defied my mother, and I played football, and I was hurt.

[00:11:52.184 – 00:12:00.184] And I contacted or developed a very serious bone ailment, and this is the days before the modern chemotherapy.

[00:12:00.184 – 00:12:05.624] And I knew that if I told my mother the, a lie, uh, the truth rather, she’d whip me.

[00:12:05.624 – 00:12:16.392] And so I then began to use the lie And not until I came to you people did I realize that sin was a progression,

[00:12:16.392 – 00:12:20.372] alcohol, of the beginning of a deadly, deadly illness.

[00:12:20.372 – 00:12:30.412] And not until I met you people and you shoved this book again into me, and, and, into my hands, and, and the doctor’s opinion about our malady, where it tells

[00:12:30.412 – 00:12:34.852] us that men and women drink essentially for the effects produced by alcohol.

[00:12:34.852 – 00:12:43.512] And although it is elusive and we will admit that it is injurious, there comes a time when we cannot differentiate between the true and the false.

[00:12:43.512 – 00:12:48.892] And so what was beginning to get to be true for me was false for my parents.

[00:12:48.892 – 00:12:51.412] And what was true for them was false for me.

[00:12:51.412 – 00:13:01.412] And so I began to use the lie, and I found by using the lie that I could project to do the things that I wanted to do and get away with it, and then drink

[00:13:01.412 – 00:13:06.372] a little alcohol along with it, and go off in the corner and say, “See, I’m getting smart.

[00:13:06.372 – 00:13:10.352] Them old fogies don’t know what a life is all about.

[00:13:10.352 – 00:13:13.292] They’re still carrying the image of the old country.

[00:13:13.292 – 00:13:19.832] This is a vital land, you know.” But I was so miserable and unhappy at home, and I’m gonna talk a little about my mother.

[00:13:19.832 – 00:13:29.832] Now, my mother, when she was 79 years of age, she’s about five foot even, and she had a backhanded slap with her right or le- and her left hand that was faster than any rattlesnake

[00:13:29.832 – 00:13:30.672] you’ve ever seen.

[00:13:30.672 – 00:13:34.212] Strong-willed woman.

[00:13:34.212 – 00:13:36.132] My daddy was afraid of her.

[00:13:36.132 – 00:13:39.692] My brother was afraid of her.

[00:13:39.692 – 00:13:41.722] Her rabbi was afraid of her.

[00:13:41.722 – 00:13:47.232] Everybody was afraid of my mother, and she, uh, her word was it.

[00:13:47.232 – 00:13:50.932] And I was raised in the condition in the home, one, two, three.

[00:13:50.932 – 00:13:56.372] Number one was Mama, number two was God, and number three was Moses, and that’s just the way it was.

[00:13:56.372 – 00:13:59.392] Her word superseded it all.

[00:13:59.392 – 00:14:01.972] And what she said went.

[00:14:01.972 – 00:14:05.432] And my daddy never made a move unless Mama told him to.

[00:14:05.432 – 00:14:08.592] And I had a boyfriend.

[00:14:08.592 – 00:14:11.572] He said, “David, you are so miserable at home.

[00:14:11.572 – 00:14:13.312] Why do you…

[00:14:13.312 – 00:14:23.332] Why don’t you come down and go to work for my father?” And he said, “You’re, you’re, you’re just coming off crutches for two years, and it’s strong, hard

[00:14:23.332 – 00:14:23.712] work.

[00:14:23.712 – 00:14:30.012] You’ll enjoy it, and we’ll have a lot of fun.” And he liked to drink, too.

[00:14:30.012 – 00:14:40.032] And so I went to work for his father at the age of 13 years of age, down in what was then, is today, and will always be the skid row

[00:14:40.032 – 00:14:41.002] of Dallas, Texas.

[00:14:41.002 – 00:14:48.792] And I went to work in this wholesale produce business, and I went to work and drank with and started drinking with the Black and the white wino.

[00:14:48.792 – 00:14:52.752] And I started drinking Bay Rum and wine and cheap whiskey.

[00:14:52.752 – 00:15:00.152] I learned how to fight, and I learned how to cheat in an element, in an area of society that’s tough and mean.

[00:15:00.152 – 00:15:04.472] And it was back in the early ’30s, and if you didn’t show up for work, somebody else got your job.

[00:15:04.472 – 00:15:14.052] And I was making four and a half dollars a week, and I was spending four dollars of it for liquor and 50 cents for cheeseburgers, and that’s the kind of life that I was living in the summertime, just as a kid.

[00:15:14.052 – 00:15:19.072] And I began to develop a tremendous capacity to drink alcohol, and I loved to drink it.

[00:15:19.072 – 00:15:26.332] And long ago, and when I was 17 years of age, one year I run off and I joined Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

[00:15:26.332 – 00:15:31.192] And if you’ve never drunk with that bunch, you just ain’t ever drunk, I’ll tell you.

[00:15:31.192 – 00:15:37.112] And I learned to drink a beautiful concoction called Green Lizard, circus style.

[00:15:37.112 – 00:15:42.172] And I see there’s some in this room don’t know what Green Lizard, circus style, is.

[00:15:42.172 – 00:15:43.272] I’ll tell you what it is.

[00:15:43.272 – 00:15:47.372] It’s a mixture of sodium bromide and Lucky Tiger Hair Tonic.

[00:15:47.372 – 00:15:50.712] And I want to tell you something.

[00:15:50.712 – 00:15:55.732] I saw Bambi and them animals in Technicolor long before Walt Disney ever put them on the screen.

[00:15:55.732 – 00:16:03.172] But that was too tough, and I had to come home.

[00:16:03.172 – 00:16:04.252] I was living two lives.

[00:16:04.252 – 00:16:11.552] I was a little angelic little thing in the eyes of my mother, and just meaner than hell on this other side of the street, and I enjoyed it.

[00:16:11.552 – 00:16:15.092] And I began to get into a lot of trouble on the weekends.

[00:16:15.092 – 00:16:22.452] My mother would ask me, “How come you don’t come home in the summertime on Saturday nights and Sundays?” I was in jail already.

[00:16:22.452 – 00:16:32.591] And my pal was an old Black toothless wino, and he taught me all the tricks of the trade, how to sober up

[00:16:32.592 – 00:16:36.272] on Bay Rum and warm wine and ether and all this kind of stuff.

[00:16:36.272 – 00:16:39.712] And you know, I wasn’t raised that way.

[00:16:39.712 – 00:16:42.952] But something was beginning to happen.

[00:16:42.952 – 00:16:54.112] And I also knew along about this time that as long as I made good grades in school, that I could get anything from my parents that I wanted, that

[00:16:54.112 – 00:16:56.632] I could threaten them, anything.

[00:16:56.632 – 00:17:02.752] And I used it up till the time I came to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:17:02.752 – 00:17:07.612] Well, I graduated high school, went on to Southern Methodist University, and I was still working when I was going to school.

[00:17:07.612 – 00:17:17.472] I’d, you know, I’d, I’d, I’d go down there on Friday evening at 5:00 and get drunk, and Saturday drunk, and Sunday drunk, and come back to school and try to fight it out all week and wishing for a drink.

[00:17:17.472 – 00:17:27.472] And I got on the uppers, and I got on the downers, or the amphetamines and the barbiturates, as the kids call them today, trying to stay, trying to go to school, sucking on a beer every now and then, a pint

[00:17:27.472 – 00:17:31.252] of whiskey to keep maybe, maybe I could get through until I could get back down there.

[00:17:31.252 – 00:17:41.272] And although I was not actively drinking alcohol every day of the year, I was either coming off one, sobering up, getting ready to go on one, and I was under the direct influence

[00:17:41.272 – 00:17:46.572] of alcohol for 365 days out of the year for years and years and years and years.

[00:17:46.572 – 00:17:54.332] Graduated Southern Methodist University and went on to Baylor University College of Dentistry, but something happened to me at the end of my freshman year in dental school.

[00:17:54.332 – 00:17:55.591] I flunked out of school.

[00:17:55.591 – 00:17:57.332] Had to go home and tell my mother.

[00:17:57.332 – 00:18:00.552] And finally, I had to.

[00:18:00.552 – 00:18:07.012] And she looked at me, she says, “David, I can’t, not, and I don’t understand it.” She says, “Here you are.

[00:18:07.012 – 00:18:09.252] You were your class valedictorian in high school.

[00:18:09.252 – 00:18:14.162] You graduated with four degrees and high honors from Southern Methodist University.

[00:18:14.162 – 00:18:16.472] What happened?” What happened?

[00:18:16.472 – 00:18:18.442] Have any of you ever been asked what happened?

[00:18:18.442 – 00:18:23.852] Our stories disclose in a general way what it used to be like.

[00:18:23.852 – 00:18:24.512] What happened?

[00:18:24.512 – 00:18:26.432] You ever been asked what happened?

[00:18:26.432 – 00:18:29.232] And I wasn’t gonna tell her the truth.

[00:18:29.232 – 00:18:30.452] No.

[00:18:30.452 – 00:18:31.732] Uh-uh.

[00:18:31.732 – 00:18:45.072] And I said, “Well, Mama, I tell you, we have a professor in that school, and he don’t like our kind.” And

[00:18:45.072 – 00:18:48.412] she says, “He doesn’t?” And I knew I had her.

[00:18:48.412 – 00:18:50.672] I could get anything I wanted.

[00:18:50.672 – 00:18:57.472] And then she says, “What are you gonna do?” And I said, “I’m gonna try to get back into school.” And she said…

[00:18:57.472 – 00:18:59.372] I said, “Mother,” I said, “Tell you what I’m gonna do.

[00:18:59.372 – 00:19:04.812] I met this wonderful girl,” and some of you know her, and she’s a beautiful and wonderful lady.

[00:19:04.812 – 00:19:07.952] And I said, “You know, I believe in getting married.

[00:19:07.952 – 00:19:11.332] And then here I’m going to school, and I’ll be a husband.

[00:19:11.332 – 00:19:14.212] I’ll have some additional responsibilities.

[00:19:14.212 – 00:19:16.602] And then I’ll study, and everything will be all right.

[00:19:16.602 – 00:19:22.062] I’ll get back in school, and I believe everything will be all right.” And there’s something about those old Orthodox Jews.

[00:19:22.062 – 00:19:30.842] She looked at me and she said, “Who’s gonna pay for that deal?” And I says, “Well, I’ve already investigated…”

[00:19:31.023 – 00:19:36.603] Grace’s parents and they’re well, well set financially, and you and daddy have all the money you’ll ever need in your life.

[00:19:36.603 – 00:19:46.923] Now, if we can get her parents to pay half the living expenses, and you and daddy pay half the living expenses, then she can go to work and I can go back to school and, you know, and everything will be all right.”

[00:19:46.923 – 00:19:47.983] And my mother agreed.

[00:19:47.983 – 00:19:49.373] They, they even bought us the rings.

[00:19:49.373 – 00:19:52.123] Course, they paid wholesale for them, but they give them to us, you know.

[00:19:52.123 – 00:19:58.783] And Grace and I were married under those exact conditions.

[00:19:58.783 – 00:20:00.623] Her parents paid half the living expenses.

[00:20:00.623 – 00:20:02.483] My parents paid half the living expenses.

[00:20:02.483 – 00:20:04.103] She went to work in a department store.

[00:20:04.103 – 00:20:05.443] I went back to school.

[00:20:05.443 – 00:20:12.883] I began drinking again, went back down on the market working, and my grades got worse, but by hook or crook, I graduated dental school.

[00:20:12.883 – 00:20:16.863] And my mother at that time had her greatest ambition in her life.

[00:20:16.863 – 00:20:19.603] Her oldest son was a doctor.

[00:20:19.603 – 00:20:26.703] And I got that DDS, which to me now for many a year meant only drunk dental surgeon.

[00:20:26.703 – 00:20:29.053] Doctor of dental surgery.

[00:20:29.053 – 00:20:39.363] And then the Navy came along and commissioned me a lieutenant junior grade in the United States Navy Reserve, and officially declared me an officer and a gentleman of my country.

[00:20:39.363 – 00:20:49.403] Now, you take a doctor who has been officially declared an officer and a gentleman of his country, and he loves to drink liquor, and you pour liquor into that combination, and

[00:20:49.403 – 00:20:53.783] he’s a Jew Texan to boot, you’ve got hell on wheels on your minds, haven’t you?

[00:20:53.783 – 00:21:02.563] And I sallied forth into the service with my new bride, my blue suit, and $450 in my pocket, and two quarts of liquor.

[00:21:02.563 – 00:21:10.363] Now, I could cut out my drinking story right now and tell you about the two things that I never did do while drinking.

[00:21:10.363 – 00:21:15.863] And, and a good friend of mine that lives in Florida sums it up about as well as anybody I ever saw.

[00:21:15.863 – 00:21:23.203] The only two things that I never did do while drinking, I never did willfully murder another human being or fall in love with another man.

[00:21:23.203 – 00:21:24.643] Other than that, I just done her all.

[00:21:24.643 – 00:21:34.003] And when I admit to you that I am an alcoholic, I admit everything.

[00:21:34.003 – 00:21:42.423] Everything that I have done whilst living and everything that I have done coming to Alcoholics Anonymous and from the day one I have seen you.

[00:21:42.423 – 00:21:51.363] When I admit to you that my, that I am an alcoholic ano- uh, an alcoholic, I also admit to you automatically, I believe, that my life has become unmanageable.

[00:21:51.363 – 00:21:55.743] Because if I could have managed my life, I could have managed my drinking.

[00:21:55.743 – 00:21:59.263] And drinking liquor today to me is just like making love to a shark.

[00:21:59.263 – 00:22:02.642] If I could get by that first kiss, I’d have it made.

[00:22:02.642 – 00:22:06.883] And there is no way.

[00:22:06.883 – 00:22:16.943] Our first tour in the service wasn’t too bad, but I was a stay

[00:22:16.943 – 00:22:18.583] away from home kind of drunk.

[00:22:18.583 – 00:22:27.543] The kind that would go into a bar and sit there, you know, and have to leave that saloon after about an hour and a half because there wasn’t anyone left in there smart enough for me to talk to.

[00:22:27.543 – 00:22:31.403] And I’d have to go on, and I’d get into fights, and I’d come in, you know.

[00:22:31.403 – 00:22:41.523] And finally, it was over with, and we moved back to Dallas, and I started the most wonderful dental practice that any professional man could ever want, but I was too busy

[00:22:41.523 – 00:22:42.183] to drink.

[00:22:42.183 – 00:22:48.323] And I began to make a lot of money, and I’d put it in the left hand and steal it with my right hand and put it in my right hand pocket.

[00:22:48.323 – 00:22:51.363] You know, didn’t keep books, didn’t file taxes, didn’t pay them.

[00:22:51.363 – 00:22:53.283] You know, just didn’t.

[00:22:53.283 – 00:22:56.763] There was two boys that was born to that marriage and got into the social swim.

[00:22:56.763 – 00:23:06.663] Got active in the church of my religion to a degree, only for our patients, only to get social prestige.

[00:23:06.663 – 00:23:14.623] Because you see, in our religion, our Sabbath starts at Friday night sundown, and ends Saturday at sundown.

[00:23:14.623 – 00:23:17.643] And man, hell, Friday night is a time to get drunk.

[00:23:17.643 – 00:23:19.543] You know?

[00:23:19.543 – 00:23:21.183] And Saturday, too.

[00:23:21.183 – 00:23:23.493] And it interfered with my social life.

[00:23:23.493 – 00:23:30.823] And everything began to interfere with the things that I had to do because I was drinking as much as I was drinking.

[00:23:30.823 – 00:23:34.703] And our marriage began to deteriorate, and I would stay away from home.

[00:23:34.703 – 00:23:40.403] And I’d be gone for about two weeks at a time, and I’d come in with a two-week growth of beard, stinking like a goat and smelling.

[00:23:40.403 – 00:23:45.623] I’d walk in and, you know, I’d come up to Grace, and meanwhile, two little baby boys were born to that marriage, Donald and David.

[00:23:45.623 – 00:23:50.203] And I’d walk into her, you know, and I’d try to hug her and kiss her, and she said, “Get away from me.

[00:23:50.203 – 00:23:51.422] Just get away from me.

[00:23:51.422 – 00:23:57.533] I don’t want to have anything to do with you.” And you know our kind, we got to make another pass at them, you know, and I’d make another pass at her.

[00:23:57.533 – 00:23:59.123] She said, “I said get away.

[00:23:59.123 – 00:24:09.223] I don’t want to have a thing to do with you.” And I’d grab my old friend, that Old Crow bottle, and I’d go in the living room, pour about eight ounces, you know, in a cheese glass and swallow her down,

[00:24:09.223 – 00:24:13.483] and then close one eye and open the other to keep her steady, and I’d look at her.

[00:24:13.483 – 00:24:17.763] And I’d say to myself, “My God, what’s going to happen to me next?

[00:24:17.763 – 00:24:27.783] Here she is, she’s not even 26 years old, and she’s already going through the early change of life.” “It’s

[00:24:27.783 – 00:24:28.843] just my luck.

[00:24:28.843 – 00:24:37.543] Why is it that I have to be saddled with a woman that don’t understand me?

[00:24:37.543 – 00:24:47.583] A woman that don’t love me?” And folks, for almost 27 years, I wandered all over the world drunk, looking for the woman

[00:24:47.583 – 00:24:48.703] that’d understand me.

[00:24:48.703 – 00:24:54.423] And after I sobered up and I, about three months, and I looked in the kitchen, and she’d been there all along.

[00:24:54.423 – 00:25:01.383] Washing the dishes, sending the kids to school, working to pay the rent, working to get me out of trouble and out of jail.

[00:25:01.383 – 00:25:05.023] She’d been there all along, but I overlooked it.

[00:25:05.023 – 00:25:12.163] Well, 1952, I was recalled back into the service.

[00:25:12.163 – 00:25:17.863] But by this time, my professional practice, naturally, you know what had, was beginning to happen to it.

[00:25:17.863 – 00:25:25.543] Because I’d get drunk, and I’d call in, and I’d stay away, start one afternoon, and then two afternoons, and then three afternoons, and then weeks at a time.

[00:25:25.543 – 00:25:30.103] And I was recalled back into service in 1952, and I didn’t have to go.

[00:25:30.103 – 00:25:36.253] And the Navy assigned me to the First Marine Division with the Fleet Marine Force, and I was over there in and out of Central Japan.

[00:25:36.253 – 00:25:46.323] I didn’t, uh, sign any allotment, nothing, and I just went, you know, because I was one of these kind that just drank, drank all the time, every time I’d get my hands on it and

[00:25:46.323 – 00:25:47.303] all that I could.

[00:25:47.303 – 00:25:54.503] When I was over there, I got into a lot of trouble.

[00:25:54.503 – 00:25:58.663] A lot of trouble.

[00:25:58.663 – 00:26:11.323] It’s a part of my life that I have to talk about because you see, we

[00:26:11.323 – 00:26:15.803] can look back in the past, but thank God we don’t have to live in the past anymore.

[00:26:15.803 – 00:26:26.223] And our deep, dark past is our greatest asset because in our book of Alcoholics Anonymous,

[00:26:26.223 – 00:26:37.183] when it tells me in the fourth step that liquor or the bottle was only a symbol and we are now down to the causes and conditions of our behavior, which

[00:26:37.183 – 00:26:42.643] means to me the condition of my mind that caused me to do the things that it did.

[00:26:42.643 – 00:26:52.643] While I was over there, and you know, I was so ashamed because of the way I had been treating my family and my

[00:26:52.643 – 00:26:59.463] parents and my profession, and I have had a wonderful professional career of training.

[00:26:59.463 – 00:27:09.563] A lot of professional people of high caliber placed a lot of trust and a lot of confidence in this little fellow.

[00:27:09.563 – 00:27:19.563] They saw a future for him of skilled work, of research, and they

[00:27:19.563 – 00:27:21.043] placed a lot of trust in him.

[00:27:21.043 – 00:27:23.883] And you know what our kind do?

[00:27:23.883 – 00:27:27.203] We get up right to that point and we’ve got to have a drink.

[00:27:27.203 – 00:27:27.963] We’ve got to go.

[00:27:27.963 – 00:27:31.423] And you just walk away from them.

[00:27:31.423 – 00:27:34.703] While I was over there, my commanding officer called me in one day in Japan.

[00:27:34.703 – 00:27:35.763] He says, “We’re in trouble.

[00:27:35.763 – 00:27:41.783] Our officer’s club officer is drunk and he’s AWOL.” This was in wartime and I was with a combat unit.

[00:27:41.783 – 00:27:52.163] And he says, “The Marine Corps birthday is coming along and the Armistice Day is the next day, November the 10th and 11th, and the commandant of the Marine Corps is coming out and some congressmen

[00:27:52.163 – 00:27:57.123] and some senators, government officials, and we’re in trouble.

[00:27:57.123 – 00:28:07.143] And we’ve been looking at your qualifications jacket.” And you know, I’d go in and I was so ashamed for the fact that, you know, that I had drunk

[00:28:07.143 – 00:28:18.383] my way out of directors on a bank, civic clubs, professional fraternities, community

[00:28:18.383 – 00:28:21.523] organizations, religious organizations.

[00:28:21.523 – 00:28:27.183] And I put all those things down, you know, and added about a dozen or two at each category.

[00:28:27.183 – 00:28:30.763] And he says, “We’ve been looking at your qualifications jacket.

[00:28:30.763 – 00:28:39.403] And we see that you are on the board of directors of some private clubs there in Dallas, Texas that has to do something with liquor by the drink and the slot machines.

[00:28:39.403 – 00:28:49.443] And we want to know if you’ll do us a favor.” And I said, “Yes.” And he said, “Would you be our officer’s club

[00:28:49.443 – 00:28:51.743] officer?” And before he could finish, I was in his lap.

[00:28:51.743 – 00:28:59.683] 3,000 bottles of alcohol, beer, slot machines, and that money, and I don’t even have to finish the story for you, do you?

[00:28:59.683 – 00:29:03.083] You’re way ahead of me, but I’ll tell you what happens in it.

[00:29:03.083 – 00:29:05.283] I got a general court-martial out of the deal.

[00:29:05.283 – 00:29:06.123] That’s what happens.

[00:29:06.123 – 00:29:16.143] And I got into some serious trouble as a result of it because you see, I became a little racketeer and opening me up some side businesses, and I

[00:29:16.143 – 00:29:19.983] was furnishing the liquor, and lots of other things were beginning to happen.

[00:29:19.983 – 00:29:25.663] And then I was drunk, and I was AWOL myself, and the MPs caught me.

[00:29:25.663 – 00:29:30.943] And in the meanwhile, we had had a change of command, and they had started running an investigation on me.

[00:29:30.943 – 00:29:35.223] And when they brought me up, they started charging me with all of these charges.

[00:29:35.223 – 00:29:37.883] And the Marine Corps kind of hurt my feelings.

[00:29:37.883 – 00:29:43.623] They said that I had borrowed a considerable sum of their money with no intention of paying it back, you know.

[00:29:43.623 – 00:29:48.763] And I’d left money on the books, and I didn’t realize where all this money, and it was in six figures.

[00:29:48.763 – 00:29:52.963] And I was AWOL in wartime, and they can shoot you for that.

[00:29:52.963 – 00:29:56.863] Acts unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.

[00:29:56.863 – 00:29:59.463] Moral turpitude.

[00:29:59.463 – 00:30:02.983] And I said, “Somebody’s been snitching on my sex life,” you know.

[00:30:02.983 – 00:30:05.963] But that’s not what it is.

[00:30:05.963 – 00:30:07.923] Moral turpitude.

[00:30:07.923 – 00:30:09.063] I had to look it up in the dictionary.

[00:30:09.063 – 00:30:09.803] I never will forget it.

[00:30:09.803 – 00:30:13.783] It’s the same thing, folks, what our fourth step tells us about.

[00:30:13.783 – 00:30:14.603] Moral.

[00:30:14.603 – 00:30:16.723] Right and wrong conduct.

[00:30:16.723 – 00:30:20.943] The condition of a mind that caused us to do the things that we did.

[00:30:20.943 – 00:30:23.443] I didn’t realize it then.

[00:30:23.443 – 00:30:26.963] I wasn’t looking for it then because I wanted another drink.

[00:30:26.963 – 00:30:31.863] And this new commanding officer made me mad, and I was hungover.

[00:30:31.863 – 00:30:37.783] And he said some things about my parents, and I said some to him about his.

[00:30:37.783 – 00:30:47.803] And if you’ve ever seen a 105 millimeter shell that’s been cut off at the base and they make an ashtray out of it, and I grabbed it and leaped over the desk, and I hit him upside of the left

[00:30:47.803 – 00:30:51.323] side of his jaw, and I broke it, and he got a little upset about that.

[00:30:51.323 – 00:31:01.503] And the next thing you knew, I knew rather, I was confined in the military compound because of some of the things

[00:31:01.503 – 00:31:04.713] that I had done and some of them that are frankly none of your business.

[00:31:04.713 – 00:31:14.713] And for 11 and a half months, I slept every night with a leg iron clamped

[00:31:14.713 – 00:31:18.663] to my right leg, surrounded by an armed guard.

[00:31:18.663 – 00:31:25.343] And at that time, I was in the best spot I’d ever been in my life at that time, but I didn’t realize it.

[00:31:25.343 – 00:31:27.903] Did I take a long, hard look at me?

[00:31:27.903 – 00:31:28.143] No.

[00:31:28.143 – 00:31:29.703] I’m going to get out of this deal.

[00:31:29.703 – 00:31:34.763] The reason I’m here is because that colonel doesn’t like our kind.

[00:31:34.763 – 00:31:41.083] And I’m going to get him if it’s the last thing I ever do, and I managed to stay drunk for 11 and a half months.

[00:31:41.083 – 00:31:44.043] It’s not Easy, but it can be done.

[00:31:44.043 – 00:31:46.363] And finally, we went to trial.

[00:31:46.363 – 00:31:55.143] And they started bringing out some things against me that I had no recollection naturally because I had blacked out and blanked out so many times.

[00:31:55.143 – 00:32:04.383] And finally, in desperation, because you see, prior to the trial, I found that five of the seven on my court-martial board were members of the Masonic Order.

[00:32:04.383 – 00:32:05.983] And so was I.

[00:32:05.983 – 00:32:09.403] And I was allowed to have counsel with some of the people.

[00:32:09.403 – 00:32:14.883] And I managed to get to them and I began to talk to them that what they talk about in the Masonic Order.

[00:32:14.883 – 00:32:23.143] And I felt that I was reasonably safe from too much damages as a result of that trial because I knew they had me dead to right.

[00:32:23.143 – 00:32:28.923] And as the trial looked bad and towards the end, I pleaded my own defense.

[00:32:28.923 – 00:32:36.383] And I got down on my hands and knees and I cried and I screamed and I said, after all, I was reserved and I was called back involuntarily.

[00:32:36.383 – 00:32:44.483] And after all, I was a professional man and I wasn’t used to running an officer’s club with all the slot machines and everything else and I hadn’t had the proper training.

[00:32:44.483 – 00:32:45.603] I made a few errors.

[00:32:45.603 – 00:32:54.723] Well, the trial was over with and the verdict was guilty.

[00:32:54.723 – 00:33:02.463] And I was fined so many hundreds of dollars for so many months and I was dropped 2,500 numbers in grade.

[00:33:02.463 – 00:33:12.543] I was given a letter of reprimand, but I beat that 25 years in the penitentiary because of my involvement with other people

[00:33:12.543 – 00:33:13.243] in politics.

[00:33:13.243 – 00:33:23.563] Now, this has to go back through the Navy chain of command because it has to go back through the judge advocate and being that I was in the Navy attached to the Marine Corps, it had to go both through the Marine Corps

[00:33:23.563 – 00:33:26.803] judge advocate and the Navy judge advocate and comes back on down.

[00:33:26.803 – 00:33:36.903] And when it came on down, it said this, due to the many errors and admissions in the closing argument of the trial, that’s where I defended myself, the

[00:33:36.903 – 00:33:38.523] verdict of guilty would stand.

[00:33:38.523 – 00:33:43.543] The letter of reprimand would stand, but all forfeited money would be returned.

[00:33:43.543 – 00:33:44.703] I got my money back.

[00:33:44.703 – 00:33:50.003] The 2,500 numbers in grade will be restored for current promotion level.

[00:33:50.003 – 00:33:53.063] Darn near made lieutenant commander out of the darn deal.

[00:33:53.063 – 00:33:56.023] And that was it.

[00:33:56.023 – 00:33:57.683] And for a reserve, that’s pretty good.

[00:33:57.683 – 00:34:07.743] Now, when that was over with and they gave me liberty for the first time and I said, I’ll go out of the gate and I’ll have a few drinks and I’ll

[00:34:07.743 – 00:34:10.483] eat a good steak dinner and I’ll come back.

[00:34:10.483 – 00:34:13.663] I went out and took a drink of alcohol.

[00:34:13.663 – 00:34:23.863] And three and a half weeks later, the military police found me and drug me back and put me back in the same compound in the same bed and put the same

[00:34:23.863 – 00:34:25.783] leg iron on the same right leg.

[00:34:25.783 – 00:34:31.363] And the same sergeant of the guard stuck his ugly face in mine and said, what happened?

[00:34:31.363 – 00:34:34.483] And I had no defense.

[00:34:34.483 – 00:34:42.643] And the Marine Corps was so disgusted with me, they shipped me back to the Navy and I come back to San Francisco and I started looking for Grace.

[00:34:42.643 – 00:34:46.903] Now, I had not communicated with Grace for over two and a half years.

[00:34:46.903 – 00:34:49.092] Didn’t know where she and the children were.

[00:34:49.092 – 00:34:53.863] Didn’t send an allotment home because I needed the things that I wanted to do.

[00:34:53.863 – 00:35:03.083] And not until I picked up this book that I realized the thing that I was tyring with alcohol, that selfishness and self-centeredness seems to be the root of our trouble.

[00:35:03.083 – 00:35:07.363] And that we must rid ourselves of this selfishness or it will kill us.

[00:35:07.363 – 00:35:10.703] And our book tells us how and the why of it.

[00:35:10.703 – 00:35:14.333] That we simply must let God do it for us.

[00:35:14.333 – 00:35:17.843] That we of flesh and bones cannot do it of ourselves.

[00:35:17.843 – 00:35:21.963] We need his strength.

[00:35:21.963 – 00:35:27.043] Well, when I got back to Treasure Island, I started hunting Grace.

[00:35:27.043 – 00:35:28.103] Didn’t know where she was.

[00:35:28.103 – 00:35:29.783] And I finally located her in Denver.

[00:35:29.783 – 00:35:34.483] Placed a long distance call and the lady at the end of the line said hello.

[00:35:34.483 – 00:35:36.183] And I said, I’d like to talk to Grace.

[00:35:36.183 – 00:35:38.563] And I thought that’s who it was and it wasn’t.

[00:35:38.563 – 00:35:40.463] And she said, Grace isn’t here.

[00:35:40.463 – 00:35:45.323] She’s up in the mountains on the weekend at a party and she has a date.

[00:35:45.323 – 00:35:54.343] And upon the advice and the legal counsel of her attorney, she is not to have any direct or indirect communication with you at all.

[00:35:54.343 – 00:35:57.183] And I said, well, where are the two boys?

[00:35:57.183 – 00:35:59.163] And she says, they are playing across the street.

[00:35:59.163 – 00:36:00.323] And I says, I am their father.

[00:36:00.323 – 00:36:01.502] I’d like to talk to them.

[00:36:01.502 – 00:36:11.903] And she says, I am sorry, but under the advice and the legal counsel of the same attorney, you are not to have any direct or indirect communication with the two boys.

[00:36:11.903 – 00:36:13.803] And with that, she hung up.

[00:36:13.803 – 00:36:17.163] And I says, those dirty so-and-so.

[00:36:17.163 – 00:36:20.623] Here I am, a returning hero.

[00:36:20.623 – 00:36:30.783] And I was so ashamed of the way I had performed

[00:36:30.783 – 00:36:40.063] over there that I had already in my mind bought an additional four rows of combat ribbons so my two boys would be proud of me as their father being in a combat area.

[00:36:40.063 – 00:36:44.923] The delusion and the illusion of the mind, the nature of our malady.

[00:36:44.923 – 00:36:50.323] And so I did the only thing that I knew what to do.

[00:36:50.323 – 00:36:52.583] I got me my friend, the judge.

[00:36:52.583 – 00:36:56.103] And I went to my room and I started to write that letter.

[00:36:56.103 – 00:36:57.603] Dear Grace.

[00:36:57.603 – 00:37:00.203] I needed Grace some more.

[00:37:00.203 – 00:37:10.243] I needed her for a crutch because with her personality and her winning smile and her strength and her understanding, everybody liked

[00:37:10.243 – 00:37:10.503] her.

[00:37:10.503 – 00:37:19.203] And I needed her to navigate for me, to get me in and out of jams that I knew that I was going to get into.

[00:37:19.203 – 00:37:21.363] And this is the sad thing about remorse.

[00:37:21.363 – 00:37:27.133] We come off drunk and we are so remorseful as we can be yet hidden behind this.

[00:37:27.133 – 00:37:31.003] We know we’re going to do her again and we do her again.

[00:37:31.003 – 00:37:34.723] And so I wrote a letter, please take me back.

[00:37:34.723 – 00:37:36.803] I’ll never drink again.

[00:37:36.803 – 00:37:38.383] I’ll straighten up.

[00:37:38.383 – 00:37:44.043] I’ll be a husband and a father and a professional man and everything will be all right.

[00:37:44.043 – 00:37:45.683] Please, please, please.

[00:37:45.683 – 00:37:51.183] And I took it over to San Francisco to mail it.

[00:37:51.183 – 00:37:52.643] But first I’ll take me a drink.

[00:37:52.643 – 00:38:02.653] And two and a half weeks later, the shore patrol found me half dressed, half undressed, half up, half down, a skid row hotel on the Embarcadero in San Francisco and the letter’s still

[00:38:02.653 – 00:38:03.323] in my pocket.

[00:38:03.323 – 00:38:06.003] And the Navy drug me back to Treasure Island.

[00:38:06.003 – 00:38:09.723] They were so disgusted with me, they just cut my orders and paid me off and sent me home.

[00:38:09.723 – 00:38:11.163] And that’s how I was released from service.

[00:38:11.163 – 00:38:18.783] Fortunately at that time for me or unfortunately, Grace and I were reunited with the children.

[00:38:18.783 – 00:38:24.003] And we started these geographical moves all over back Texas.

[00:38:24.003 – 00:38:31.323] I drank up five of the most wonderful dental practices that any professional man could be privileged to have.

[00:38:31.323 – 00:38:39.023] And I’d written my father so many times and I’d called him and I’d call him for money and he’d have to say just a minute and he’d ask mama.

[00:38:39.023 – 00:38:42.843] And mama would say, well, he’s a good boy.

[00:38:42.843 – 00:38:45.983] He’s a little different from his brother, but he’s a good boy.

[00:38:45.983 – 00:38:51.702] And if you’ve never had a Jewish mama, you just don’t know what a Jewish mama is.

[00:38:51.702 – 00:38:56.643] She’ll love her kids and hate them at the same time, but that’s one of those things.

[00:38:56.643 – 00:38:59.203] And it’s a feeling and she said, well, he’s a little different.

[00:38:59.203 – 00:39:01.313] Let him have it.

[00:39:02.070 – 00:39:12.330] And one day I called my daddy up and I says, “Daddy,” I said, “I tell you, if you, if you give me all the money now that you’re gonna leave me when you die, then while you’re alive you can see what I’m doing

[00:39:12.330 – 00:39:12.990] with it,” you know?

[00:39:12.990 – 00:39:19.080] And I was getting it from him every week, and it was killing me.

[00:39:19.080 – 00:39:28.070] And finally, I called him so many times, and meanwhile, in this little town that I was in, a n- a new young dentist moved to town.

[00:39:28.070 – 00:39:34.200] And the next thing you know, the lady that was working for me was working for the new dentist.

[00:39:34.200 – 00:39:41.850] And the next thing you know, I was sitting, just me in the dental chair and the grub, and no patients.

[00:39:41.850 – 00:39:45.070] It was time to go again.

[00:39:45.070 – 00:39:45.830] Time to move.

[00:39:45.830 – 00:39:54.910] And we finally moved back to Dallas, but I sent Grace ahead, ahead, and she found the most wonderful place, and we moved again.

[00:39:54.910 – 00:39:56.210] And this time it’s gonna be different.

[00:39:56.210 – 00:39:58.039] And I was a daily drinker.

[00:39:58.039 – 00:40:00.810] I didn’t take a aspirin when I had a headache.

[00:40:00.810 – 00:40:01.850] I took a drink of liquor.

[00:40:01.850 – 00:40:04.870] If I wanted to go to the bathroom, I took a drink of liquor.

[00:40:04.870 – 00:40:07.330] If I didn’t want to go to the bathroom, I took a drink of alcohol.

[00:40:07.330 – 00:40:09.370] If I wanted to get out of bed, I took a drink.

[00:40:09.370 – 00:40:11.260] If I didn’t want to get out of bed, I took a drink.

[00:40:11.260 – 00:40:12.730] If I wanted to go to work, I took a drink.

[00:40:12.730 – 00:40:14.670] If I didn’t want to go to work, I took a drink, you know.

[00:40:14.670 – 00:40:16.130] I just drank alcohol.

[00:40:16.130 – 00:40:24.390] And the last five years that I drank were the most hellacious five years, and I was a daily drinker, and I drank for 37 years.

[00:40:24.390 – 00:40:25.930] 37 years.

[00:40:25.930 – 00:40:35.930] And I got to the point in my life to where I couldn’t stay sober, and I couldn’t stay drunk, and I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t stay awake, and couldn’t work, and wanted to work, and couldn’t eat, and wanted

[00:40:35.930 – 00:40:36.260] to eat.

[00:40:36.260 – 00:40:36.970] Couldn’t, couldn’t.

[00:40:36.970 – 00:40:37.710] Couldn’t, couldn’t.

[00:40:37.710 – 00:40:38.550] High center.

[00:40:38.550 – 00:40:40.070] Total saturation.

[00:40:40.070 – 00:40:41.520] It’s a hellish existence.

[00:40:41.520 – 00:40:51.710] And finally, finally, finally, somewhere on April the 18th or 19th of 1967, I found my handwriting on the floor in the Dallas County Jail.

[00:40:51.710 – 00:40:56.830] And that’s not the first time I had been in that jail, and I’d been in lots of jails.

[00:40:56.830 – 00:41:01.900] And incidentally, being in jail is not a requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:41:01.900 – 00:41:04.710] But it is my story.

[00:41:04.710 – 00:41:12.450] Now, there I found myself in a jail, a jail that I had been in five months or six months prior to that.

[00:41:12.450 – 00:41:22.530] And the, and the next to the last time I was in that jail, our sheriff, who was alive then, said, “David, if you ever show up in my jail again for drinking or drunk, I’ll have

[00:41:22.530 – 00:41:29.790] you put away to where you’ll never bother another human being, bird, tree, or dog.” And he meant it.

[00:41:29.790 – 00:41:31.010] And he meant it.

[00:41:31.010 – 00:41:33.390] And yet there I was in there again.

[00:41:33.390 – 00:41:38.610] But this time something had happened.

[00:41:38.610 – 00:41:45.110] Oh, I’d been to the psychiatrist, and all the questions he asked me, Grace used to ask me for nothing, you know?

[00:41:45.110 – 00:41:55.150] And I’d been through all the routines of being sick and not sick, and this

[00:41:55.150 – 00:42:02.700] and that, and psychologists, and marriage counselors, you know, and rabbis, and priests, and nuns, and witch doctors, and horoscopes- …

[00:42:02.700 – 00:42:05.259] Ouija boards, all that kind of stuff, you know?

[00:42:05.259 – 00:42:13.450] And there I was laying there on the jail floor again, and something happened to me.

[00:42:13.450 – 00:42:21.090] I was just mentally clear there for a few minutes as am now, and I looked around and I said, “Here I am again.

[00:42:21.090 – 00:42:31.290] What’s going to happen to me?” Because you see, time I got in that jail, I was living in the most hellacious part of my life that I have ever lived.

[00:42:31.290 – 00:42:35.970] I knew I couldn’t drink alcohol, yet I could not keep from drinking.

[00:42:35.970 – 00:42:40.150] I knew I could not drink alcohol, yet I could not keep…

[00:42:40.150 – 00:42:41.370] I could not stop drinking.

[00:42:41.370 – 00:42:47.790] I knew I could not drink alcohol, yet I was drinking alcohol, and I couldn’t quit.

[00:42:47.790 – 00:42:57.849] And I was laying there on that jail floor, and I’d run out of people, and I’d run out of whiskey, and I’d run out of money, and I was down to me, and I didn’t like me, and

[00:42:57.850 – 00:42:59.330] I didn’t want me anymore.

[00:42:59.330 – 00:43:03.190] And I did the only thing that was left for me to do.

[00:43:03.190 – 00:43:07.570] And it wasn’t in a religious way, it wasn’t in a spiritual way.

[00:43:07.570 – 00:43:09.450] It was more in disgust.

[00:43:09.450 – 00:43:14.310] And I said, “My God, is there any help for me?” And I got me an answer.

[00:43:14.310 – 00:43:19.310] And the answer was this, and I heard it, and I’ve heard it every day since then.

[00:43:19.310 – 00:43:25.250] It said, “Listen, you over-educated, pompous, egotistical, pampered drunk.

[00:43:25.250 – 00:43:35.490] Until you stop drinking, nobody can help you, not even me.” And they called my name, and I, so drunk

[00:43:35.490 – 00:43:36.110] I fell down.

[00:43:36.110 – 00:43:40.870] And I got out of jail by some miracle, and I got by the old sheriff.

[00:43:40.870 – 00:43:41.610] Don’t know how.

[00:43:41.610 – 00:43:51.610] And I did the only thing, and I went down to my office, and while I was in jail, I had four patients that I had done some oral

[00:43:51.610 – 00:43:53.770] surgery, and they were strung out in two hospitals.

[00:43:53.770 – 00:44:00.030] And the State Board of Dental Examiners were looking for me, and they had been out of my office, and they couldn’t find me.

[00:44:00.030 – 00:44:04.890] Naturally they couldn’t, because most of their people they hunt for ain’t in, you know, are not in jail, you know.

[00:44:04.890 – 00:44:14.960] And they told the lady that was working for me, says, “Do not book any more patients because we do not believe that he will be around, but we have to talk to him in person.”

[00:44:14.960 – 00:44:20.410] And I stumbled back to my office physically and mentally drunk.

[00:44:20.410 – 00:44:27.690] And the lady that was with me then looked at me and she says, “My God, doctor, you look sick.” And I says, “I am.

[00:44:27.690 – 00:44:30.910] I’m sick in the head and sick in the gut,” just like the double blank on the domino.

[00:44:30.910 – 00:44:31.680] Double nothing.

[00:44:31.680 – 00:44:34.210] Held together by a shell.

[00:44:34.210 – 00:44:42.070] And I said, “Would you dial a number for me?” And she said, “Yes.” And I, and I asked her to look it up, and she did, and this voice got on the end of the phone.

[00:44:42.070 – 00:44:52.170] And I said, “W.O., it’s me.” He says, “What do you want?” I says, “Are you still interested in Alcoholics Anonymous?” And he says, “Yes, I am.

[00:44:52.170 – 00:44:57.490] Who is it for?” And I said, “It’s for me.” And he says, “Well, we have a meeting tomorrow night.

[00:44:57.490 – 00:44:58.850] Let’s just go and get it over with.

[00:44:58.850 – 00:45:08.882] And don’t you drink any alcohol this day.” And he hung up, and that’s all he told me And after coming to you people and coming to meetings and looking around and seeing we love and care and share and understand,

[00:45:08.882 – 00:45:11.762] I was wondering where it was that day when I called him.

[00:45:11.762 – 00:45:17.042] But that’s the greatest thing that that man could have ever done for me because he knows me as well as any human being alive.

[00:45:17.042 – 00:45:18.402] I used to get drunk with him.

[00:45:18.402 – 00:45:22.922] Heard about him coming to AA, heard about him getting into trouble, getting sober again.

[00:45:22.922 – 00:45:28.662] And when I called him, I didn’t know whether he was in AA, A&T, or Texas A&M, but hell, I was hurting.

[00:45:28.662 – 00:45:38.702] And when I told you that’s the greatest thing that he could have ever done for me because he knew that when I called him, that I had run out of every Jew in

[00:45:38.702 – 00:45:42.302] the Southwest, and I got down to you Gentiles, I was in serious trouble.

[00:45:42.302 – 00:45:52.662] And I want to tell you, that next 24 hours are the hardest 24 hours

[00:45:52.662 – 00:45:53.902] I ever spent in my life.

[00:45:53.902 – 00:45:55.762] I just quit drinking.

[00:45:55.762 – 00:46:00.042] I never sobered up in a drying out parlor or a hospital or a cave or a tent or anywhere.

[00:46:00.042 – 00:46:01.162] I just drank.

[00:46:01.162 – 00:46:02.802] I just quit.

[00:46:02.802 – 00:46:12.802] That next 24 hours, I had one of them fits, you know, where you roll around and it comes out of both ends, and you’re jumping from side to side, and, and you got the vapors and

[00:46:12.802 – 00:46:19.302] everything else, and you’re gnashing your teeth, and you bite your tongue, and your eyes crawl way up near your brain and come back down backwards.

[00:46:19.302 – 00:46:29.022] But I’ll tell you one thing, when I come to the next morning, I was sober, and I didn’t have a belly full of tranquilizers, nor did I have a prescription for 500 more.

[00:46:29.022 – 00:46:31.002] And I am so thankful for that.

[00:46:31.002 – 00:46:39.202] And I hope that if a physician should call any of us in this room tonight or a room like it all over the world, and he says, “I’ve got one of your kind.

[00:46:39.202 – 00:46:39.862] What should I do?

[00:46:39.862 – 00:46:44.752] What should I do with him?” Will you have the honesty to tell him, “Don’t give him any pills.

[00:46:44.752 – 00:46:54.442] Don’t give him any pills.” I called W.O.

[00:46:54.442 – 00:46:55.472] at 7:30 in the morning.

[00:46:55.472 – 00:47:00.242] I said, “W.O., where’s that meeting?” He says, “Are you drinking?” I says, “No.” He says, “Don’t you dare drink alcohol this day.

[00:47:00.242 – 00:47:02.022] Call me later,” and he hung up.

[00:47:02.022 – 00:47:05.942] So finally, 3:30 in the afternoon, I called him again.

[00:47:05.942 – 00:47:11.152] I says, “W.O., where is that meeting?” He says, “Are you drinking?” I says, “No.” He says, “How come you’re not drinking?” I said, “Because I’m too scared.

[00:47:11.152 – 00:47:17.532] I don’t know where I’ll end up.” He said, “Do you want to go to that meeting?” I said, “More than anything,” because now I was bound and determined.

[00:47:17.532 – 00:47:23.362] I wanted to see what you people looked like that had this invincible desire not to drink alcohol.

[00:47:23.362 – 00:47:25.442] And he says, “All right, I’ll tell you where it is.

[00:47:25.442 – 00:47:29.122] And when you make the turn, there’s a liquor store on the left and a beer joint on the right.

[00:47:29.122 – 00:47:33.522] Don’t you stop and buy and consume any alcohol,” because he said, “When I get out there, I’m gonna smell you.

[00:47:33.522 – 00:47:36.802] And if you’re drinking or drunk, I’m gonna throw you through the door.

[00:47:36.802 – 00:47:41.322] You, David, cannot come to Alcoholics Anonymous drinking or drunk.

[00:47:41.322 – 00:47:43.902] Do you understand?” And he hung up.

[00:47:43.902 – 00:47:47.702] Well, I was in a serious predicament.

[00:47:47.702 – 00:47:50.022] Number one, I didn’t have any underpants.

[00:47:50.022 – 00:47:54.322] And I didn’t have any clothes.

[00:47:54.322 – 00:48:00.382] And I didn’t know when I sobered up whether I was married, whether I was divorced, whether I was living in sin, or what the deal was.

[00:48:00.382 – 00:48:01.682] And I didn’t know where Grace was.

[00:48:01.682 – 00:48:03.222] Hadn’t been home in about two months.

[00:48:03.222 – 00:48:06.342] And she had thrown all my clothes out, you know, and everything.

[00:48:06.342 – 00:48:11.062] And so I finally located her, and I called her up, and I said, “Grace,” and, and she hadn’t heard from me.

[00:48:11.062 – 00:48:21.162] She goes, “Who is it?” I said, “It’s me.” “What do you want?” I said, “Grace, do you happen to have one of my old suits?” And she says, “Yes, I have

[00:48:21.162 – 00:48:30.542] one, and it’s the burial in.” And as I look back now, I then asked her the most foolish question I ever asked in my life.

[00:48:30.542 – 00:48:46.012] I said, “Do you mind if I borrow it for a little while?” And

[00:48:46.012 – 00:48:50.412] she said, “What do you want it for?” I said, “I’m going to Alcoholics Anonymous.” She said, “There’s another one of you lying,” and hung up.

[00:48:50.412 – 00:49:00.422] And I went home, and she had that one suit, that brown Italian silk suit, and I wouldn’t part with for all the money that’s in every

[00:49:00.422 – 00:49:01.282] bank in the world.

[00:49:01.282 – 00:49:03.882] I want to tell you about that suit.

[00:49:03.882 – 00:49:07.782] Perspired is a good word.

[00:49:07.782 – 00:49:18.102] I had perspired in and on them britches so much that you cannot dry clean a, an Italian silk pants, you know, that have been moisturized.

[00:49:18.102 – 00:49:25.122] First, they got to wash them and then dry clean them, but after they wash them, then they get stiff as a board, you know?

[00:49:25.122 – 00:49:27.142] And them, them old pants would stand up.

[00:49:27.142 – 00:49:30.022] Now you understand why I needed underpants, so I’d jump in them.

[00:49:30.022 – 00:49:40.282] And I didn’t have a shirt, didn’t have but one button on it, you know, and had to borrow one of my kid’s

[00:49:40.282 – 00:49:41.482] ties.

[00:49:41.482 – 00:49:42.382] Didn’t have a belt.

[00:49:42.382 – 00:49:51.762] And that coat of that suit, I had sweated through the linings in the sleeves so much, you know, that Grace had to hold the coat a certain way so I’d get my arms into the lining instead of between the lining and the sleeves.

[00:49:51.762 – 00:49:55.002] I had them alligator shoes.

[00:49:55.002 – 00:50:06.351] Of

[00:50:06.351 – 00:50:07.742] course, they had holes in them.

[00:50:07.742 – 00:50:15.082] And I put my brown socks on, and I went and got in my beat-up Mustang and went to the meeting.

[00:50:15.082 – 00:50:25.622] And I found out later as I left, our youngest boy was home bound, and he said, “Mama, is Daddy going to one of them meetings to where he doesn’t come back for two weeks?” “Six

[00:50:25.622 – 00:50:26.242] weeks, a month?

[00:50:26.242 – 00:50:27.682] Will he be home for my birthday?

[00:50:27.682 – 00:50:34.772] Will he be home for Christmas?” He didn’t come home for the oldest boy’s graduation.

[00:50:34.772 – 00:50:43.242] And she looked at him, she says, “I don’t know, but that boy’s in God’s hands.” And I went out to the meeting, and I hope I never forget that meeting as long as I live.

[00:50:43.242 – 00:50:47.262] And I went out there, and it’s a beautiful place.

[00:50:47.262 – 00:50:51.712] And I went in, and it had about 125, 150 people all dressed up like you folks are, you know.

[00:50:51.712 – 00:50:57.962] And everybody’s hugging and kissing and rubbing up against and telling lies, you know, and everything else.

[00:50:57.962 – 00:51:02.302] And I come through the door, and I want to tell you two things right now.

[00:51:02.302 – 00:51:08.893] I hope I never forget that handshake that that man gave me as long as I live.

[00:51:08.893 – 00:51:17.874] And I never saw this man before, and he walks up to me and he said, “My name is Emory,” and he stuck out his hand, and I grabbed it, and his hand was dry, and mine was wet, and mine slipped away, and I had to grab it again.

[00:51:17.874 – 00:51:24.274] And now I’m gonna tell you about the greatest AA talk I have ever heard, and I heard it right after that handshake.

[00:51:24.274 – 00:51:27.854] This man said to me, “Come in.

[00:51:27.854 – 00:51:29.974] You’re welcome.

[00:51:29.974 – 00:51:39.914] Sit down, have a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about it.” That is the greatest AA talk I have ever heard in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:51:39.914 – 00:51:45.374] Because when I come to you people, there are two words I understood: shut up and get in.

[00:51:45.374 – 00:51:55.454] And, you know, if, if you ever seen a new, shaking, shaking, sick, active

[00:51:55.454 – 00:52:00.594] alcoholic come into a group of sober AAs, it’s just like a new dog coming in the neighborhood, you know?

[00:52:00.594 – 00:52:05.914] Everybody’s smelling him and looking at him, and you know.

[00:52:05.914 – 00:52:12.394] And, and, and, and, and pretty soon, here comes W.O., and he grabbed me by the left sleeve, and it wasn’t on too good, and it come off.

[00:52:12.394 – 00:52:18.554] And he took me in the men’s room, and he started questioning me, and he said, “Blow in it,” like this, you know.

[00:52:18.554 – 00:52:19.954] And he says, “You’re clean.

[00:52:19.954 – 00:52:24.514] You can go in.” And word not only spread that we got a new drunk tonight, but he’s a doctor.

[00:52:24.514 – 00:52:31.394] We kill more doctors in Alcoholics Anonymous before they get sober than any fellowship in the world.

[00:52:31.394 – 00:52:32.254] We got a doctor.

[00:52:32.254 – 00:52:33.584] We’re gonna get psychiatrists.

[00:52:33.584 – 00:52:34.844] We’re gonna get brain surgeons.

[00:52:34.844 – 00:52:36.874] We’re gonna get administrators.

[00:52:36.874 – 00:52:39.714] We’re gonna upgrade Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:52:39.714 – 00:52:49.674] I believe as individuals that the only way that we’ll ever be able to upgrade Alcoholics Anonymous is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

[00:52:49.674 – 00:52:54.374] We hear in a lot of parts of the country, “Keep coming back.” What’s wrong with just staying?

[00:52:54.374 – 00:53:06.754] Word

[00:53:06.754 – 00:53:07.814] spreads there’s a doctor.

[00:53:07.814 – 00:53:15.274] And I’m standing, they don’t know whether you’re a real doctor, an MD or a DDS, you know, or a PhD or a veterinarian or whatever you are.

[00:53:15.274 – 00:53:24.974] And I’m standing there, and pretty soon I feel a tug at my coat, and this voice says, “Doctor?” And I said, “Yes?” And the voice says, “Doctor?” And that’s the nicest I had been called that in so long.

[00:53:24.974 – 00:53:38.434] And I turned around, and there’s this jumpy little lady, you know, and she says, “Doctor, I have a problem.” And I said, “Yes?” And she said, “My right ovary is bothering me.” And

[00:53:38.434 – 00:53:40.974] before I could tell her, you know, that I was a dentist and…

[00:53:40.974 – 00:53:50.974] She says, “Is it all right if I take Valium and B12?” And I straighten up and look at her real professional, and I said, “Honey, if the roof of your teeth are that long, take them,” you

[00:53:50.974 – 00:53:51.214] know.

[00:53:51.214 – 00:54:04.814] And

[00:54:04.814 – 00:54:05.494] here come W.O.

[00:54:05.494 – 00:54:05.814] again.

[00:54:05.814 – 00:54:15.814] He said, “All right, wise guy, fun’s over with.” And I told him, he says, “I, I’m so grateful that you called me, but we know each other so

[00:54:15.814 – 00:54:21.054] well.” And he endeared me to me then, him to me, because he was my sponsor.

[00:54:21.054 – 00:54:26.894] And he exercised the greatest relationship between the sponsor and the one being sponsored that I ever saw.

[00:54:26.894 – 00:54:29.234] And all this happened at the first night, in the first meeting.

[00:54:29.234 – 00:54:33.854] He told me, he said, “David,” he says, “I have had some problems in this program.

[00:54:33.854 – 00:54:35.094] I have returned to drinking.

[00:54:35.094 – 00:54:44.853] And I’m gonna introduce you to a man who seems to have found something that I haven’t quite found yet.” He was willing to tell me the truth about himself as a human being.

[00:54:44.853 – 00:54:54.224] And he said, “It’s probably good for that man to tell you anything.” And he took me in and introduced me to what you call one of them old hard-neck old-timers.

[00:54:54.224 – 00:54:58.314] An old AA sat me down, and he started talking to me.

[00:54:58.314 – 00:55:00.193] You know.

[00:55:00.193 – 00:55:06.414] And he didn’t tell me Jim’s story, Franklin’s story, Bill Wilson’s story.

[00:55:06.414 – 00:55:12.054] He just started talking about himself, what it used to be like and what happened and how it was today is.

[00:55:12.054 – 00:55:14.174] And my mind was too fogged in.

[00:55:14.174 – 00:55:20.134] And I had to go back two and a half weeks later and ask him to give me the pitch again.

[00:55:20.134 – 00:55:22.654] But it started then the most beautiful relationship.

[00:55:22.654 – 00:55:28.834] And I noticed the first night after you got through, you did something that was totally foreign to me.

[00:55:28.834 – 00:55:32.114] You closed your meeting with the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:55:32.114 – 00:55:36.754] And, and I was raised in a religion where they don’t use the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:55:36.754 – 00:55:42.894] And I said, “My God, I’m back into where I’m gonna be different again.” You know?

[00:55:42.894 – 00:55:46.954] And so I began to look for the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:55:46.954 – 00:55:56.954] And I remember that at one time in a drunken spree that I had been sent on an errand, and I was fooling around with a machine that you put a dime and a penny in

[00:55:56.954 – 00:56:00.174] it, and you pull the lever, and the Lord’s Prayer comes pressed out on a penny.

[00:56:00.174 – 00:56:01.474] And I started looking for the penny.

[00:56:01.474 – 00:56:08.074] And I found it about three weeks after I came to you people, and in the meanwhile, I wanted to be a total part of you.

[00:56:08.074 – 00:56:09.544] And I found the penny, and here it is.

[00:56:09.544 – 00:56:12.614] And I got a magnifying glass, and I memorized the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:56:12.614 – 00:56:21.574] And I went to that first meeting when I thought I had it memorized, and I couldn’t wait till the meeting was over so I could jump up and holler the Lord’s Prayer just like the rest of you.

[00:56:21.574 – 00:56:31.594] And I did, and it got, and, and it got to that part, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,” and I hollered, “Amen.” And

[00:56:31.594 – 00:56:34.674] old SA punched me, and he said, “Are you drunk or drinking?

[00:56:34.674 – 00:56:40.454] There’s another clause to it.” Anyhow, and I looked at it, and they’d run out of room on the penny.

[00:56:40.454 – 00:56:46.714] And after the meeting was over with, this couple come up to me.

[00:56:46.714 – 00:56:49.074] “We heard about your dilemma and the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:56:49.074 – 00:57:03.704] And we want you to know you said it correctly, so that’s the Catholic version.” And I looked at them, said, “Hell, I got enough trouble just being an alcoholic, jeez.” And

[00:57:03.704 – 00:57:05.394] that’s how I learned the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:57:05.394 – 00:57:10.534] I also found there’s a moral to that.

[00:57:10.534 – 00:57:12.474] Don’t memorize everything.

[00:57:12.474 – 00:57:16.814] And unless I was willing to believe in our Father, the rest of the prayer meant nothing.

[00:57:16.814 – 00:57:20.774] And it started the most beautiful, beautiful relationship.

[00:57:20.774 – 00:57:28.534] And I’m gonna talk just a few more minutes, and then we’ll get out of here, because I like to talk how it is today, and I like to talk mainly about the family.

[00:57:28.534 – 00:57:38.614] Because the book that I read, this book called Alcoholics Anonymous, tells me that after recovery, a further demonstration lies ahead in our family life

[00:57:38.614 – 00:57:39.634] and our vocational life.

[00:57:39.634 – 00:57:43.794] It doesn’t say get rich first and patch up your differences with your family.

[00:57:43.794 – 00:57:50.694] Our book is so written after the seventh chapter, it goes to the wife, and then it goes to the family afterwards, and then it goes to the bottle.

[00:57:50.694 – 00:57:52.734] And then you got this big dig.

[00:57:52.734 – 00:57:57.694] I didn’t come to Alcoholics Anonymous for my wife, for my kids, for anything else.

[00:57:57.694 – 00:57:59.954] I came to do something about old David under the most…

[00:57:59.954 – 00:58:04.534] I was willing to live under the most miserable of conditions if I didn’t have to drink alcohol.

[00:58:04.534 – 00:58:07.974] And you told me the one thing when I came here that I wanted to hear.

[00:58:07.974 – 00:58:15.234] You said, “David, if this is your decision, you’ll never have to sober up again.” And that sobering up was the thing that I dreaded the most.

[00:58:15.234 – 00:58:24.214] Well, I didn’t think when I found you people that Grace and the two boys would ever be back together again.

[00:58:24.214 – 00:58:32.624] But through God’s grace and the second greatest gift that’s ever been given-

[00:58:32.753 – 00:58:37.273] to me and to our families after Alcoholics Anonymous, the Al-Anon program.

[00:58:37.273 – 00:58:43.773] Grace and myself celebrated our twenty-ninth continuous wedding anniversary last June.

[00:58:43.773 – 00:58:48.813] Grace is an Alateen sponsor.

[00:58:48.813 – 00:58:55.503] There are a hundred and five in her group, with eighty-five that attend every meeting.

[00:58:55.503 – 00:59:01.813] She goes to at least six to seven Al-Anon meetings a week.

[00:59:01.813 – 00:59:05.613] It didn’t used to be that way.

[00:59:05.613 – 00:59:15.653] I was down in Houston one time, and I come back in, and I, I live in a kind of a house, you know, if you get up and go to the can at five-thirty in the morning, you come back and your bed’s made up,

[00:59:15.653 – 00:59:15.873] you know.

[00:59:15.873 – 00:59:24.413] And I got in about two-thirty in the afternoon, and there’s mustard just stinking, newspapers everywhere.

[00:59:24.413 – 00:59:28.903] And I said, “My God, the kids had a fight and Grace has run off.” And I went in there, and a dead silence.

[00:59:28.903 – 00:59:30.053] I hollered, “Grace.” No answer.

[00:59:30.053 – 00:59:31.773] And there she was, piled up in the bed.

[00:59:31.773 – 00:59:33.253] The bed hadn’t been made.

[00:59:33.253 – 00:59:35.213] She’s still in her nightclothes reading the newspaper.

[00:59:35.213 – 00:59:39.153] And I said, “What’s wrong?” Dead silence.

[00:59:39.153 – 00:59:42.253] “What’s wrong?” Dead silence.

[00:59:42.253 – 00:59:43.453] And then I made the mistake.

[00:59:43.453 – 00:59:48.673] I asked her, “Well, what have I done now?” And she says, “I’ll tell you what you’ve done.

[00:59:48.673 – 00:59:51.473] Everything is you, you, you, you, you.

[00:59:51.473 – 00:59:52.753] You’re gone all the time.

[00:59:52.753 – 00:59:55.233] Your children have been waiting all day to talk to you.

[00:59:55.233 – 00:59:59.313] They just want to love you and begin to communicate, but you haven’t got enough time for them.

[00:59:59.313 – 01:00:04.753] You’re out doing everything but.” Them demonstrations of those principles in your family life.

[01:00:04.753 – 01:00:05.913] And I says, “Uh-oh, I’m trapped.

[01:00:05.913 – 01:00:19.283] She’s been reading the book.” And I says, “Don’t you aggravate my disease.” And

[01:00:19.283 – 01:00:29.383] she says, “You’re carrying on just like you did when you were drinking, but you’re not drinking.” And I says, “Don’t you…” She says, “Shut up.” I says, “I gotta go talk.

[01:00:29.383 – 01:00:35.693] Do you want to come hear?” She says, “No, I’ve heard you.” And I went on to the meeting, but I was doing some thinking.

[01:00:35.693 – 01:00:42.493] And I found out the reasons for the breakdown in the relationship between my children and my wife.

[01:00:42.493 – 01:00:43.293] I found it in the book.

[01:00:43.293 – 01:00:47.573] And one was demanding too much, and the other wasn’t giving enough.

[01:00:47.573 – 01:00:50.093] And I could sit on either side of the coin.

[01:00:50.093 – 01:00:59.733] I wasn’t willing to take the principles of this program into my home, the place that I had to sleep and get up in the morning, the place where I’ve got to talk to God as I understand Him.

[01:00:59.733 – 01:01:09.793] And I wasn’t willing to practice the principles in the area to where I must seek my comfort to begin the day and comfort at night

[01:01:09.793 – 01:01:10.713] under God’s guidance.

[01:01:10.713 – 01:01:15.923] I was taking it every place else but the seated family unit.

[01:01:15.923 – 01:01:23.013] And today, Grace and I are the most wonderful, wonderful of friends.

[01:01:23.013 – 01:01:25.313] We have a home now.

[01:01:25.313 – 01:01:32.473] My oldest boy, I was down at a meeting one time down in East Texas.

[01:01:32.473 – 01:01:36.913] He come in around about one-thirty in the morning, and there he was with this beautiful girl.

[01:01:36.913 – 01:01:46.953] And he said, “Daddy, I want to talk to you.” Now, here’s a boy when he was fifteen years of age, stood me in a corner with a butcher knife, and he says, “I’m going to kill you for

[01:01:46.953 – 01:01:51.933] what you have been doing to our mother.” And if I could have gotten off the floor, I’d have killed him right then.

[01:01:51.933 – 01:01:56.193] But the wildness left his eyes, and he dropped that butcher knife, and he walked away.

[01:01:56.193 – 01:02:06.313] And he looked at me and he says, “You’re nothing but a dirty, drunken, stinking bum, and somebody else do it, will do that for us, and I don’t want that on my conscience.” And he walked away, and I lost total communication with him for over

[01:02:06.313 – 01:02:06.913] five years.

[01:02:06.913 – 01:02:08.553] He had nothing to say.

[01:02:08.553 – 01:02:14.433] And there he was with this beautiful girl.

[01:02:14.433 – 01:02:15.403] He says, “Daddy, sit down.

[01:02:15.403 – 01:02:23.233] I want to talk to you.” And I said, “Tell me.” He said, “Sit down.” And I looked at her and I said, “She’s not pregnant, is she, you know?” And he says, “No, Daddy, sit down.

[01:02:23.233 – 01:02:29.313] I want to tell you something.” I said, “Tell me.” He says, “Harriet and I are going to get married.” And I says, “Wonderful.

[01:02:29.313 – 01:02:30.393] Congratulations.

[01:02:30.393 – 01:02:42.153] All the best.” He says, “You mean you’re not mad?” I said, “What do you mean?” He says, “But Daddy, he’s not Jewish.” I said, “David,” I

[01:02:42.153 – 01:02:52.192] said, “You know, this business about worrying about being different, powering it with alcohol, the delusion and the illusion of the mind and the

[01:02:52.192 – 01:02:56.113] obsession and the physical compulsion, all these things darn near killed me.

[01:02:56.113 – 01:03:06.113] And I had to get down to where I had an illness that was beyond human aid, that I had to find that I was totally

[01:03:06.113 – 01:03:11.793] nothing, and that without this program and God as I understand Him, I would be lost and dead.

[01:03:11.793 – 01:03:15.313] And it was through a simple understanding of the people.

[01:03:15.313 – 01:03:26.533] They didn’t ask me whether I was a Jew, whether I was a Catholic, whether I was Protestant, whether I was Black, green, yellow, had kinky hair, straight hair, blonde hair, polka dot, leper, spots, or

[01:03:26.533 – 01:03:26.973] freckles.

[01:03:26.973 – 01:03:37.973] All they asked me was, ‘Boy, what do you want to do about your drinking?’ And from that simple question has started the most wonderful, indescribable

[01:03:37.973 – 01:03:38.373] life.

[01:03:38.373 – 01:03:47.973] And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for telling me as your father, and I wish you only the best of luck in health.” But I says, “I’ll tell you one thing.

[01:03:47.973 – 01:04:00.443] You and her are going to have to tell your grandmother.” And

[01:04:00.443 – 01:04:00.893] they did.

[01:04:00.893 – 01:04:03.043] And all hell broke loose.

[01:04:03.043 – 01:04:06.033] And she called me up and she said, “He’s just like you.

[01:04:06.033 – 01:04:16.113] You associated with them Gentiles, got to drinking that Gentile kind of whiskey, contacted that Gentile disease, and now you’re sobering up with them Gentiles, and he turned out just like you.

[01:04:16.113 – 01:04:26.173] And we’re going to do to him what we did to you.” Because when I came to you people six months prior to coming to you, my mother and father prayed

[01:04:26.173 – 01:04:29.193] me dead in their mind for seven consecutive days.

[01:04:29.193 – 01:04:39.433] Because in our religion, and it’s found in Leviticus, it tells this, and my father, mother and father believed this because of the shame and the degradation in their minds

[01:04:39.433 – 01:04:44.623] as they thought that I had brought to the entire family and the race and everything else all the way back to Noah.

[01:04:44.623 – 01:04:49.541] That’s a sickness in itself for those people.

[01:04:49.541 – 01:04:59.781] And it says in Leviticus that if a parent cannot discipline his children, they are led before their elders and publicly denounced a glutton, drunkard,

[01:04:59.781 – 01:05:00.981] and stoned to death.

[01:05:00.981 – 01:05:03.481] And so I was stoned to death in the minds of my parents.

[01:05:03.481 – 01:05:06.401] And I hung up on my mother.

[01:05:06.401 – 01:05:12.481] My youngest boy was the one that seemed to be most seriously afflicted.

[01:05:12.481 – 01:05:16.681] And today we are the greatest, greatest of friends.

[01:05:16.681 – 01:05:20.681] My mother passed away last October.

[01:05:20.681 – 01:05:29.601] But eight and a half months before she passed away, I was over there at her home for a religious holiday.

[01:05:29.601 – 01:05:35.021] And I got in late and she, I was eating and she walked over and she kissed me on the forehead.

[01:05:35.021 – 01:05:39.061] And she called me her son for the first time in eight and a half years.

[01:05:39.061 – 01:05:43.421] And she said, we are so grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:05:43.421 – 01:05:46.261] My mother had become an Al-Anon.

[01:05:46.261 – 01:05:49.121] We took her a newcomer’s package.

[01:05:49.121 – 01:05:52.820] And she was reading the big book.

[01:05:52.820 – 01:05:57.461] And she says, I’m not going to be here too much longer.

[01:05:57.461 – 01:06:02.461] Would you promise me one thing and carry it out one day at a time?

[01:06:02.461 – 01:06:04.101] And I said, what’s that, Mama?

[01:06:04.101 – 01:06:06.821] She said, keep on going to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:06:06.821 – 01:06:09.481] We are so grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:06:09.481 – 01:06:12.301] What it has done for our son.

[01:06:12.301 – 01:06:19.401] And she said, if you hurry and eat, you’ll be able to make the last 30 minutes of your meeting.

[01:06:19.401 – 01:06:21.401] You need to be there more than you need to eat up.

[01:06:21.401 – 01:06:31.501] And when my mother passed away and it was a large funeral and on one side of the room were all her little

[01:06:31.501 – 01:06:41.281] friends because my mother, because of her oldest son and the things that he was doing, she became active in all civic work and in garden clubs and everything just to keep me off of her mind.

[01:06:41.281 – 01:06:47.361] And on one side of that funeral parlor was all people from wall to wall and aisle to wall of her friends.

[01:06:47.361 – 01:06:51.521] And over on this side was AAs and Al-Anons and Alateens.

[01:06:51.521 – 01:07:01.701] And when the rabbi got out and looked around and saw this mixture of people, her friends over here and AAs and Al-Anons and Alateens over here, my mother was a great organizational woman

[01:07:01.701 – 01:07:02.881] in meeting and clubs.

[01:07:02.881 – 01:07:14.521] She simply said this, I believe that Celia Aronofsky would love if we would just simply say, let’s just get the meeting started.

[01:07:14.521 – 01:07:20.181] And a bar mitzvah, you see, and a bar mitzvah.

[01:07:20.181 – 01:07:21.521] My father’s still alive.

[01:07:21.521 – 01:07:24.801] And he doesn’t understand all this.

[01:07:24.801 – 01:07:33.211] But thanks to this wonderful fellowship and God is on understanding him, I have realized and know now that he is a human being, that he has his troubles too.

[01:07:33.211 – 01:07:35.821] And we are the best of friends today.

[01:07:35.821 – 01:07:38.501] He won’t let me fool with any of his financial affairs.

[01:07:38.501 – 01:07:46.651] But we are the best of friends.

[01:07:46.651 – 01:07:55.521] And before I forget it, last May the 25th, I got my 25-year key in the American Dental Association.

[01:07:55.521 – 01:08:02.601] And the doctor that presented it to me was the one that was out of my office to take that license away when I was in jail.

[01:08:02.601 – 01:08:06.861] And when he handed me the key, old Zap said, I don’t believe it.

[01:08:06.861 – 01:08:10.001] And I went to tell him, I said, and now there’s no problem, Doctor.

[01:08:10.001 – 01:08:16.581] When I came to you people, and I promise to tell this story and then get out.

[01:08:16.581 – 01:08:21.421] When I came to you people, I had to change my attitude.

[01:08:21.421 – 01:08:27.601] My attitude about alcoholism, my attitude about sobriety, my attitude about Alcoholics Anonymous, my attitude about the alcoholic.

[01:08:27.601 – 01:08:29.901] And it reminds me of the story of this couple that got married.

[01:08:29.901 – 01:08:32.441] And he was six foot six and he weighed 260 pounds.

[01:08:32.441 – 01:08:34.561] She was a little blue-eyed blonde, weighed 90 pounds wet.

[01:08:34.561 – 01:08:40.481] And on their honeymoon night, they went up to their room, you know, and he looked at her and he says, okay, woman, get your dress off.

[01:08:40.481 – 01:08:42.341] And she took her dress off and he took his pants off.

[01:08:42.341 – 01:08:43.881] He said, now you get into my pants.

[01:08:43.881 – 01:08:49.641] And she being a little thing and he being so big, you know, six foot six, weighed 260, got in the pants.

[01:08:49.641 – 01:08:52.961] And his pants were so big, she could look through the fly like a window.

[01:08:52.961 – 01:08:56.661] And she said, you know your pants are too big for me.

[01:08:56.661 – 01:09:03.071] And he says, okay, woman, if you remember that one thing, our marriage will be a success from now on.

[01:09:03.071 – 01:09:07.841] And she being a pretty good sport, she took his pants off and reached in the suitcase and got a pair of her sweatpants.

[01:09:07.841 – 01:09:11.141] And she says, okay, buster, turnabout’s fair play.

[01:09:11.141 – 01:09:13.201] You get into my pants.

[01:09:13.201 – 01:09:20.561] And he being a big bruiser, you know, he got them up to the knees and he’s tugging and he’s pulling and he’s ripping and he’s cussing and he’s sweating.

[01:09:20.561 – 01:09:25.081] And finally he looked at her and he says, honey, he says, you know I can’t get into your pants.

[01:09:25.081 – 01:09:30.741] And she says, okay, buster, and until you change your attitude, it’s going to be that way the rest of your life.

[01:09:30.741 – 01:09:42.681] We

[01:09:42.681 – 01:09:52.701] in Alcoholics Anonymous most emphatically believe that any alcoholic who can honestly face his problems in the light of our experiences can recover, provided he or she is willing

[01:09:52.701 – 01:09:55.601] to keep an open mind and search out all spiritual concepts.

[01:09:55.601 – 01:10:00.281] And that he or she will only be defeated by their own attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.

[01:10:00.281 – 01:10:05.631] For no one or nobody should have any troubles or problems with the spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:10:05.631 – 01:10:11.081] For honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are essentials of our recovery, but they are indispensable.

[01:10:11.081 – 01:10:18.201] And none of us like this self-searching and the leveling of our pride and confession of shortcomings in order for this process to be consummated.

[01:10:18.201 – 01:10:28.881] But after being confronted by this problem drinker, coming to meetings and seeing that it was working in you people and it was working in others, and coming to believe

[01:10:28.941 – 01:10:33.661] as a result of the helplessness and the futility of the kind of a life that I had been leading.

[01:10:33.661 – 01:10:40.740] And all I had to do was to reach down and pick up this simple chip that stood for freedom and the load of my feet.

[01:10:40.740 – 01:10:48.981] And it’s people such as you and people in my group and AAs all over this world have shown me that love and understanding are the keys to right principles and right attitudes.

[01:10:48.981 – 01:10:50.841] And right actions are the keys to good living.

[01:10:50.841 – 01:10:53.261] This is a good way to live, not a life of goodness.

[01:10:53.261 – 01:11:03.361] But for David, an alcoholic, our 12 steps of recovery in their entirety, our 12 traditions in their entirety, and our 12 concepts of world service and our third

[01:11:03.361 – 01:11:06.641] legacy in its entirety are the keys to the kind of life.

[01:11:06.641 – 01:11:08.505] I am trying to live.

[01:11:08.505 – 01:11:14.985] And you know, I’d like to close in a rather unusual way for me.

[01:11:14.985 – 01:11:19.565] Most of us were unwilling to admit that we were real alcoholics.

[01:11:19.565 – 01:11:24.865] No person likes to think that he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.

[01:11:24.865 – 01:11:34.285] And therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers were characterized by countless vain attempts to prove that we could drink like other people.

[01:11:34.285 – 01:11:44.605] The idea that somehow, someday, we would be able to enjoy and control his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker,

[01:11:44.665 – 01:11:47.585] and the persistence of this illusion is astonishing.

[01:11:47.585 – 01:11:50.745] Many pursued into the gates of insanity and death.

[01:11:50.745 – 01:11:57.725] And we learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost self that we were alcoholic.

[01:11:57.725 – 01:12:00.585] This is the first step in recovery.

[01:12:00.585 – 01:12:06.545] And the delusion that we are now or presently may be like other people may be smashed.

[01:12:06.545 – 01:12:10.645] No, I don’t believe that I drank too much, too long.

[01:12:10.645 – 01:12:15.125] If I drank too much, too long, I wouldn’t be alive tonight talking to you.

[01:12:15.125 – 01:12:15.885] I’d be dead.

[01:12:15.885 – 01:12:21.245] I drank just the right amount, just the right amount of time for me.

[01:12:21.245 – 01:12:27.545] If it had been another drink and another minute of drinking, I don’t believe that I’d be with you people tonight.

[01:12:27.545 – 01:12:33.325] And I am so thankful, so thankful for this recovery program.

[01:12:33.325 – 01:12:43.585] When I came to you people, I bought the Big Book, and I sobered up, literally sobered up reading that book, what, Big Book sideways, crosswise, upside down.

[01:12:43.585 – 01:12:48.165] And when I went home the first night, my eyes were too crossed to read it.

[01:12:48.165 – 01:12:55.515] There on the only page that’s vacant, the flyleaf, were written these words: “On April the twenty-one, nineteen sixty-seven.

[01:12:55.515 – 01:12:56.575] Good luck, old partners.

[01:12:56.575 – 01:13:01.245] Your friend, and this gentleman’s initials.” And I never met this man, but he gave unto me.

[01:13:01.245 – 01:13:11.305] And so on this September the thirtieth of nineteen seventy-three with all the love that I can express to each and every one of

[01:13:11.305 – 01:13:20.274] you, may the God of my understanding, as He is working in through me, have the privilege to be inscribed upon each and every one of your flyleaf: “Good luck, old partners.

[01:13:20.274 – 01:13:23.725] Your friend, Dave Day.” God bless each and every one of you, and I love you so much.

[01:13:23.725 – 01:13:24.045] Thank you.

[01:13:24.045 – 01:13:47.225] Thank

[01:13:47.225 – 01:13:47.885] you, Dave.

[01:13:47.885 – 01:13:51.725] I’m not gonna try to dress that up.

[01:13:51.725 – 01:14:03.265] I just wanna know that each and every one of us out there appreciates Dave sharing with us his experiences, his strength,

[01:14:03.265 – 01:14:05.965] and his hope, and what he did about that problem.

[01:14:05.965 – 01:14:11.765] Uh, before we close, will you please start taking up the kitty?

[01:14:11.765 – 01:14:17.645] Right, Sharon?

[01:14:17.645 – 01:14:32.655] He’s

[01:14:32.655 – 01:14:33.295] anonymous.

[01:14:33.295 – 01:14:35.825] He never gonna get up.

[01:14:35.825 – 01:14:46.185] Well, anyhow, tomorrow morning at, uh, at nine o’clock, there will be a AA area

[01:14:46.185 – 01:14:52.445] assembly business meeting, and that will be for the GSRs and the area chairm- chairmen.

[01:14:52.445 – 01:14:55.345] So, uh, please show up for that meeting.

[01:14:55.345 – 01:15:01.645] We hope to cut it short, uh, short, but be there at nine o’clock.

[01:15:01.645 – 01:15:06.105] Are there any announcements that I have overlooked?

[01:15:06.105 – 01:15:10.305] What?

[01:15:10.305 – 01:15:11.665] Pardon?

[01:15:11.665 – 01:15:14.365] Right here.

[01:15:14.365 – 01:15:19.105] It’s on the program, isn’t it?

[01:15:19.105 – 01:15:21.695] Uh, it got me…

[01:15:21.695 – 01:15:23.584] Uh, yes, the, the ballroom.

[01:15:23.584 – 01:15:33.585] Would you like to mention that Franklin Williams will have tapes of all these talks available for anyone who- I’ve been asked to announce that Franklin Williams over

[01:15:33.585 – 01:15:42.805] here will have tapes of all these talks available for anyone who, who wishes to, uh, to get a tape.

[01:15:42.805 – 01:16:15.205] The

[01:16:15.205 – 01:16:22.885] Al-Anons will meet, and, uh, they want all Al-Anons to attend this meeting at ten o’clock.

[01:16:22.885 – 01:16:24.485] Where will that be, Carrie?

[01:16:24.485 – 01:16:26.685] In what way?

[01:16:26.685 – 01:16:32.635] In, in Carla’s room.

[01:16:32.635 – 01:16:34.265] Where do you have an Al-Anon meeting?

[01:16:34.265 – 01:16:40.125] Ten o’clock this morning.

[01:16:40.125 – 01:16:45.705] That’s nine o’clock, my error.

[01:16:45.705 – 01:16:46.655] I’m looking…

[01:16:46.655 – 01:16:51.725] That is a regular Al-Anon area assembly business meeting.

[01:16:51.725 – 01:16:54.585] Is that the one you’re inviting?

[01:16:54.585 – 01:17:00.525] And also at the panel meeting.

[01:17:00.525 – 01:17:03.085] I want all the Al-Anons there.

[01:17:03.085 – 01:17:08.585] Before we, before we close this meeting, I want to tell you something about Father Jerry.

[01:17:08.585 – 01:17:17.284] He’s the only clergyman that I know of who was arrested in the great state of Alabama for preaching the gospel.

[01:17:17.284 – 01:17:19.685] Now, he got quite a record.

[01:17:19.685 – 01:17:24.695] That was back in the Klan days, I believe, wasn’t it, Father?

[01:17:24.695 – 01:17:30.945] And, uh, now we’re gonna close this meeting by asking Father to lead us in the Lord’s Prayer.

[01:17:30.945 – 01:17:39.104] Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

[01:17:39.104 – 01:17:44.925] Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

[01:17:44.925 – 01:17:53.465] Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

[01:17:53.465 – 01:18:02.725] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever.

[01:18:02.725 – 01:18:03.355] Amen.

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