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[00:00:00.540 – 00:00:03.280] Great G. evening, everyone. [00:00:03.280 – 00:00:04.760] My name is David, I'm alcoholic. [00:00:04.760 – 00:00:09.980] I'd like to welcome you to this open AA recovery workshop with Q&A, and along with Stuart. [00:00:09.980 – 00:00:11.360] Hello, everybody. [00:00:11.360 – 00:00:13.100] I'm Stuart, I'm alcoholic. [00:00:13.100 – 00:00:14.420] Uh, you're all very welcome. [00:00:14.420 – 00:00:15.880] See you later for the Q&A.

[00:00:15.880 – 00:00:17.860] Right. [00:00:17.860 – 00:00:22.980] So tonight's, the topic of tonight's, or the title of tonight's Bill W. 1951 to 1971. [00:00:22.980 – 00:00:25.400] Jim W.'s gonna do a trilogy on this for us. [00:00:25.400 – 00:00:30.700] He's got The Man, The Writer, and The Seeker, and he'll tell you himself, but it's about Bill W. rather than Bill W. [00:00:30.700 – 00:00:37.500] And tonight we'll be looking in part one, depression, royalties, and LSD experiments. [00:00:37.500 – 00:00:39.140] So hold on to your hats. [00:00:39.140 – 00:00:40.440] This sounds exciting.

[00:00:40.440 – 00:00:44.240] My expectations are through the roof, Jim, as ever when you're in the room. [00:00:44.240 – 00:00:53.960] So this is one of a series of workshops inspired by recoveryspeakers.com, and it's used by the Saturday night AA group here in London, in Camberwell, London, SE5. [00:00:53.960 – 00:00:55.640] We meet every Saturday night. [00:00:55.640 – 00:00:57.540] If you're ever in London, please give us a call. [00:00:57.540 – 00:01:06.160] Uh, in keeping with AA's traditions, in particular traditional five, each AA group has but one primary purpose: to carry its message, of course, to the alcoholics who are still suffering. [00:01:06.160 – 00:01:16.180] The main purpose of these workshops is to introduce and/or develop ideas and concepts, and hopefully to encourage participants to do some further investigation [00:01:16.180 – 00:01:16.760] on their own.

[00:01:16.760 – 00:01:19.980] Can you ple- people, uh, mute… [00:01:19.980 – 00:01:21.780] Ben, can you mute yourself and Greg, please? [00:01:21.780 – 00:01:24.600] The common thread throughout has been a quote from step 10. [00:01:24.600 – 00:01:25.820] We've had this, and it's a wonderful… [00:01:25.820 – 00:01:31.340] Once we get to step nine and we get into those, they call it step nine promises, we're into the, we have entered the world of the spirit. [00:01:31.340 – 00:01:38.740] And that our next function, of course, is to grow in understanding and effectiveness, and that's on 84, um, paragraph two. [00:01:38.740 – 00:01:42.180] As I said, the audio of tonight's presentation is being recorded.

[00:01:42.180 – 00:01:44.220] And Mike, god be good to Mike M.. [00:01:44.220 – 00:01:51.320] We, Mike, we used to pass it over to mike@recoverytapers.com, but Mike's passed and they're working on getting that, um, site back up. [00:01:51.320 – 00:01:54.060] And Debbie, if she's here, might be able to give us an update on that. [00:01:54.060 – 00:02:01.040] But also, um, Mikey K., um, from Recovery Speakers is taking our recording as well. [00:02:01.040 – 00:02:05.380] He's gonna put it up on recoveryspeakers.com, uh, just to let you know that. [00:02:05.380 – 00:02:14.140] So we would like to point out that while sharing these workshop meetings represents the experience, strength, and hope of AA members and not, not to be taken to represent, obviously, the fellowship as a whole. [00:02:14.140 – 00:02:22.440] The 12-step proven program of recovery can be found in our basic textbook titled Alcoholics Anonymous, which is more commonly called a big book.

[00:02:22.440 – 00:02:26.680] So I'm gonna put up this, uh, short version of the set aside prayer. [00:02:26.680 – 00:02:29.480] And those of you who've been here before know what we do. [00:02:29.480 – 00:02:33.860] We unmute, and we will use God as we understand it. [00:02:33.860 – 00:02:37.360] And of course, we're thinking of those who have went before us. [00:02:37.360 – 00:02:47.360] So G. God, please help us to set aside everything And help us to set aside everything And think only of And think only of God G. In prayer In prayer And open our minds And open our minds [00:02:47.360 – 00:02:49.500] To new experience To new experience Amen A.. [00:02:49.500 – 00:02:56.340] What we do now is just get our thoughts, reflect on why we're here, and to think of those alcoholics who are still suffering from alcoholism.

[00:02:56.340 – 00:02:59.540] And of course, we're thinking of their family member. [00:02:59.540 – 00:03:08.780] Thank you everyone for your attention. [00:03:08.780 – 00:03:11.300] Um, I'll put up those flyers again at the end of the meeting. [00:03:11.300 – 00:03:12.760] We will have a Q&A session. [00:03:12.760 – 00:03:17.820] And, uh, it's a great pleasure always to turn the meeting over to, uh, Jim W.. [00:03:17.820 – 00:03:20.200] Thank you, David. [00:03:20.200 – 00:03:21.920] Thank you all for being here.

[00:03:21.920 – 00:03:24.280] 94 people so far. [00:03:24.280 – 00:03:24.970] My goodness. [00:03:24.970 – 00:03:31.440] Um, and, uh, glad to, uh, glad to be here. [00:03:31.440 – 00:03:38.180] And, uh, I hope that, uh, I, I do not disappoint. [00:03:38.180 – 00:03:40.560] I will certainly try not to. [00:03:40.560 – 00:03:44.660] Uh, my name is Jim, and I'm Jim W., and I'm an alcoholic. [00:03:44.660 – 00:03:49.160] My sobriety date is March 5th, 1981, 1989.

[00:03:49.160 – 00:03:51.300] My home group is the Friends of Bill W. [00:03:51.300 – 00:03:52.860] Group in Cancun, Mexico. [00:03:52.860 – 00:03:56.140] My sponsor is John M., and he has a sponsor. [00:03:56.140 – 00:04:06.540] So tonight, this is part one of a trilogy on, uh, Bill W., the man, the, uh, the writer, the seeker. [00:04:06.540 – 00:04:13.340] Um, and of course, it's very difficult to separate, uh, Bill W. [00:04:13.340 – 00:04:15.960] from William G. W.. [00:04:15.960 – 00:04:21.100] You know, because, uh, it was hard for him to separate himself from AA.

[00:04:21.100 – 00:04:26.580] It was hard for AA to separate, uh, themselves from him. [00:04:26.580 – 00:04:29.660] But tonight we're gonna focus primarily… [00:04:29.660 – 00:04:30.420] It's hard to… [00:04:30.420 – 00:04:40.560] And I'll not be able to, uh, completely separate Bill from AA, but we're gonna do a lot on, a, a little more of the personal life of [00:04:40.560 – 00:04:41.920] Bill W.. [00:04:41.920 – 00:04:50.940] And of course, uh, the 1940s were a difficult, uh, time, both for AA, uh, and for Bill W.. [00:04:50.940 – 00:04:52.760] You know, things were really rough.

[00:04:52.760 – 00:05:03.469] If you can imagine, if you had to referee your business meeting and, uh, and work out everybody's problems in your group, uh, [00:05:03.469 – 00:05:05.580] what a job it would be. [00:05:05.580 – 00:05:09.520] And, uh, Bill had to do that for all of AA. [00:05:09.520 – 00:05:19.520] And, uh, as, as early as 1945, he wrote an article saying, uh, "When, uh, w- why can't we join AA?" And he was talking about him [00:05:19.520 – 00:05:20.040] and Bob. [00:05:20.040 – 00:05:21.210] And- [00:05:21.476 – 00:05:27.556] Uh, because he just wanted to be on one level, just Bill W.

[00:05:27.556 – 00:05:29.695] at a meeting, but of course he never could be. [00:05:29.695 – 00:05:32.116] This is a picture of, uh, Bill W. [00:05:32.116 – 00:05:32.486] at Dr. [00:05:32.486 – 00:05:35.856] Bob's funeral, uh, in 1950. [00:05:35.856 – 00:05:40.596] Of course, this is from 1951 to 1961 this week. [00:05:40.596 – 00:05:41.536] What did he do? [00:05:41.536 – 00:05:42.276] Who was he?

[00:05:42.276 – 00:05:45.976] Bill W., this is from Frances H.. [00:05:45.976 – 00:05:51.216] Um, uh, w- he seems essentially to have been a good and honest man. [00:05:51.216 – 00:05:58.316] In the 1950s he was still working to pay off the debts he had incurred when the stock market crashed in 1929. [00:05:58.316 – 00:06:00.376] Doing his step nine into the '50s. [00:06:00.376 – 00:06:02.186] Yet he refunded… [00:06:02.186 – 00:06:11.296] refused a $60, uh, thousand gift from a wealthy AA member in the, uh, uh, uh, in AA. [00:06:11.296 – 00:06:13.856] Couple pictures from that timeframe.

[00:06:13.856 – 00:06:17.916] Uh, he went to, uh, he went to Paris on vacation. [00:06:17.916 – 00:06:20.516] Uh, he and Lois, they d- he did things. [00:06:20.516 – 00:06:26.406] You know, not 100% of his, uh, his time was, uh, spent in AA. [00:06:26.406 – 00:06:29.176] Here, uh, I have a lot of pictures. [00:06:29.176 – 00:06:32.836] Uh, I understand some people aren't able to get into the meeting. [00:06:32.836 – 00:06:36.056] Um, but anyway, I have some pictures of Bill W.. [00:06:36.056 – 00:06:37.796] Bill W. has always been an icon.

[00:06:37.796 – 00:06:42.436] Uh, I don't think anybody will ever consider him a fashion icon. [00:06:42.436 – 00:06:52.496] Uh, according to most people his, uh, his suits were, uh, had a lot of cigarette ash on them and cigarette burns and, uh, he wasn't [00:06:52.496 – 00:06:54.956] a, an icon in that sense of the word. [00:06:54.956 – 00:06:57.036] But in so many other ways. [00:06:57.036 – 00:07:01.256] These are some of the pictures, uh, not always in chronological order. [00:07:01.256 – 00:07:02.036] But Bob P. [00:07:02.036 – 00:07:09.936] was, uh, an ex general manager of GSO, and he wrote one time about Bill.

[00:07:09.936 – 00:07:12.306] Uh, he, he said, "The unforgettable Bill. [00:07:12.306 – 00:07:17.096] He's been called the greatest social architect of the 20th century. [00:07:17.096 – 00:07:18.756] He called himself Bill W. [00:07:18.756 – 00:07:25.996] As a securities analyst, he made fortunes for himself and his clients, but he lost everything when he became a hopeless drunk. [00:07:25.996 – 00:07:35.396] Then through the gift of a higher power, he found a road to recovery, and helped create a unique fellowship that has brought hope and new life to millions around the world. [00:07:35.396 – 00:07:43.656] I am part of that fellowship, and I was given the amazing grace to know this extraordinary, ordinary man. [00:07:43.656 – 00:07:47.896] When I volunteered to help AA with public relations, I met Bill.

[00:07:47.896 – 00:07:51.936] He was a legend, and I was nervous as I entered his Manhattan office. [00:07:51.936 – 00:08:00.836] Bill was slouched in a chair, his feet up on a battered oak desk that was scarred with dozens of burn marks from cigarette stubs. [00:08:00.836 – 00:08:05.876] When he stood, he was about 6 feet 2 inches, slender and loose-limbed. [00:08:05.876 – 00:08:08.736] He had a long face and sparkling blue eyes. [00:08:08.736 – 00:08:12.876] He acted as if meeting me was the nicest thing that had happened to him in years. [00:08:12.876 – 00:08:16.436] "I'm Bill," he said, stretching out his hand. [00:08:16.436 – 00:08:20.876] "I'm a drunk." I started mumbling how, how I owed him everything.

[00:08:20.876 – 00:08:31.246] And, uh, he looked embarrassed to the floor and said, "Just pass it on."」 Here are some, uh, some pictures [00:08:31.246 – 00:08:33.226] from January of 1951. [00:08:33.226 – 00:08:35.406] In the middle that's, uh, Dr. [00:08:35.406 – 00:08:39.996] Bob's adopted, um, adopted daughter, Sue W., Sue S. Windows. [00:08:39.996 – 00:08:50.056] And, uh, uh, and on the right is her on-again, off-again husband, Ernie G., who was, uh, AA member number [00:08:50.056 – 00:08:52.756] four, at least till he kept getting drunk over and over. [00:08:52.756 – 00:08:55.356] Bill called him a son of a bitch one time.

[00:08:55.356 – 00:09:00.116] But, uh, anyway, that's Ernie and Sue and, and, uh, and Bill and Lois. [00:09:00.116 – 00:09:06.036] Here's, uh, a- an image from the, the Grapevine magazine. [00:09:06.036 – 00:09:16.136] And, uh, it, uh, uh, is from the 1951 General [00:09:16.136 – 00:09:17.076] Service C.. [00:09:17.076 – 00:09:19.876] Down on the left there you can see Bill W.. [00:09:19.876 – 00:09:27.096] The lady, uh, sitting next to him is a lady by the name of Helen W., and we will talk about her later. [00:09:27.096 – 00:09:31.456] Uh, actually next, in section two.

[00:09:31.456 – 00:09:35.136] In 1951, uh, here are some pictures. [00:09:35.136 – 00:09:40.796] Uh, the Lasker A. was offered to Bill by the American P. Health A.. [00:09:40.796 – 00:09:42.736] Uh, and he said, "No, I don't want it. [00:09:42.736 – 00:09:47.336] Give it to AA as a whole." And, uh, so that's what they did. [00:09:47.336 – 00:09:53.296] And, uh, he, Bernard, uh, Smith, uh, accepted it. [00:09:53.296 – 00:10:00.996] In A. 23rd to 27th, they had the Second E. General S. Conference at the Commodore H. in New York City. [00:10:00.996 – 00:10:06.936] And, uh, also I have another picture that I haven't seen a whole lot.

[00:10:06.936 – 00:10:08.976] This is, uh, Bill W.. [00:10:08.976 – 00:10:13.356] I guess, I'm guessing it's in the GSO office, but I'm not sure. [00:10:13.356 – 00:10:17.716] But it's Bill, uh, with the, with the Lasker A.. [00:10:17.716 – 00:10:23.136] And I think that should… [00:10:23.136 – 00:10:23.916] There we go. [00:10:23.916 – 00:10:34.096] And, um, about that time, Bill reported, uh, at the, to the, uh, to the board [00:10:34.096 – 00:10:39.845] that, uh, on his literature projects that he was engaged in, uh, they included a lot of things.

[00:10:39.845 – 00:10:42.606] And they unanimously, uh, approved [00:10:42.960 – 00:10:53.020] Bill's writing projects and a later publication of Bill's books projects resulted in the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, the second edition of the Big Book, [00:10:53.020 – 00:11:03.360] the third Legacy manual renamed the AA Service M. in '69, AA Comes of Age, the 12 Concepts, and the AA Way of Life that was eventually, [00:11:03.360 – 00:11:08.100] uh, uh, renamed as As B. Sees It. [00:11:08.100 – 00:11:18.520] There's a, [00:11:18.520 – 00:11:25.880] a couple, a couple of pictures here of, uh, uh, just another guy laying on the, laying on the grass. [00:11:25.880 – 00:11:29.120] I believe that this was taken at High W., but I can't be sure.

[00:11:29.120 – 00:11:32.280] Uh, and of course there with, uh, with Ebby. [00:11:32.280 – 00:11:39.740] And there's a picture of Bill again, uh, laying down at, uh, at some big AA meeting, you know? [00:11:39.740 – 00:11:51.400] And, uh, it, it has been said of him, I think it was Henrietta S. who said it, but, uh, that he would never stand when he could sit, and, [00:11:51.400 – 00:11:54.940] uh, and that he would never sit when he could lie down. [00:11:54.940 – 00:12:03.380] So, uh, it is just as much, uh, just as easy to find him sitting in a chair or laying on the floor as anything else. [00:12:03.380 – 00:12:09.040] And, uh, he, he did not stand on formality or even sit on formality. [00:12:09.040 – 00:12:12.720] Um, here's a picture, uh, from 1953.

[00:12:12.720 – 00:12:13.320] Bill W. [00:12:13.320 – 00:12:14.720] is the fourth from the left there. [00:12:14.720 – 00:12:21.500] Uh, you can see him at, uh, British C. Penitentiary during a visit that he made to the Canadian province. [00:12:21.500 – 00:12:25.940] Uh, he did a lot of traveling for AA as well as, uh, as for himself. [00:12:25.940 – 00:12:35.660] They're just some, uh, pictures, early pictures of, uh, the shack that he built for himself to kind of get away. [00:12:35.660 – 00:12:42.300] And, uh, from 1949 and '50, of course, it eventually became known as Wit's End. [00:12:42.300 – 00:12:48.460] And, uh, those are some, some different, uh, pictures of it throughout the years.

[00:12:48.460 – 00:12:50.520] And Bill just wanted to get away. [00:12:50.520 – 00:12:51.479] Get away from what? [00:12:51.479 – 00:12:53.780] From the big house down the hill. [00:12:53.780 – 00:13:02.880] Uh, any of you who have never been to Stepping S., hopefully this year it'll be open again for in person, and I highly recommend a visit. [00:13:02.880 – 00:13:05.280] The, uh, um… [00:13:05.280 – 00:13:08.700] It, it's just a, a wonderful place to visit. [00:13:08.700 – 00:13:19.500] And whenever the Lois, uh, would answer the phone and, and people would, uh, would ask, "Where's Bill?" Uh, she would always say, "Well, he's at Wit's End." And,

[00:13:19.500 – 00:13:28.600] uh, you know, that's, uh, that's what the place is called, Wit's End, and it's where he did a lot of his writing and, and getting away. [00:13:28.600 – 00:13:36.700] And, and, uh, uh, there's some more, uh, some other pictures, uh, here. [00:13:36.700 – 00:13:38.660] Uh, I did my visit there. [00:13:38.660 – 00:13:40.700] You can have your picture taken at Bill's desk. [00:13:40.700 – 00:13:42.300] Some pictures of Bill. [00:13:42.300 – 00:13:43.260] Uh, there he is in Dr. [00:13:43.260 – 00:13:46.540] Bob's car, and some other pictures that have been taken.

[00:13:46.540 – 00:13:47.640] He took airplanes. [00:13:47.640 – 00:13:49.520] I mean, he, he went on vacation. [00:13:49.520 – 00:13:50.440] He went places. [00:13:50.440 – 00:13:52.440] He did things, you know? [00:13:52.440 – 00:13:57.960] He was another human being, uh, that, uh, we d- we don't always know a lot about. [00:13:57.960 – 00:14:07.060] On J. 24th, 1954, Lois suffered a heart attack, and on her and Bill's 38th anniversary. [00:14:07.060 – 00:14:10.940] Uh, it severely restricted her activities for a year.

[00:14:10.940 – 00:14:17.680] On F. 2nd, uh, uh, Bill declined a- an honorary doctorate from Yale U.. [00:14:17.680 – 00:14:27.760] And, uh, um, he, uh, he, he wrote to his, his boyhood friend, his old friend that was his friend, uh, all of his life, [00:14:27.760 – 00:14:29.739] uh, Mark W.. [00:14:29.739 – 00:14:40.079] He said, "If I don't take this prize, it will act as a ter- terrific restraint on big shots and power seekers in AA." Bill W. said, "I'm declining for that reason o- [00:14:40.080 – 00:14:50.120] only, not because I'm so damn noble." And, uh, in, uh, in 1954, uh, Bill engaged in a series of [00:14:50.120 – 00:14:55.360] letter exchanges with notorious murderer Caryl C., who was on San Q.'s death row. [00:14:55.360 – 00:14:59.920] Uh, Jack A., uh, suggested to Chessman that he should write to Bill.

[00:14:59.920 – 00:15:09.940] And, uh, in his, in his book, uh, Chessman compares the criminal psychopath to an alcoholic, and this prompted Jack A. to [00:15:09.940 – 00:15:13.240] wonder whether people like Chessman might find the AA steps useful. [00:15:13.240 – 00:15:23.120] Alcoholics Anonymous had been helping alcoholics in prison since 1940 when the first prison group was, uh, was formed in San Q.. [00:15:23.120 – 00:15:33.640] Uh, their correspondence was cut short when Chessman's extended letter-writing privileges were again restricted to family members, but Bill's letters to him are still remarkable. [00:15:33.640 – 00:15:43.740] And of course, Chessman finally, uh, uh, went to the gas chamber at San Q. Prison on May 2nd, 25 y- days before [00:15:43.740 – 00:15:46.800] his, uh, 39th birthday. [00:15:46.800 – 00:15:57.750] On a happier note, there was a famous, uh, restaurant in Dallas called the Golden P., and

[00:15:57.750 – 00:16:00.730] this is a picture of the Golden P. in 1954. [00:16:00.730 – 00:16:03.860] Bill, of course, at the head of the table, top… [00:16:04.244 – 00:16:06.724] Standing up there on the second from the left is Ebby. [00:16:06.724 – 00:16:10.684] Says that there are, uh, other people there like Ollie. [00:16:10.684 – 00:16:14.784] Um, Charlie, I think, was his name there in New York. [00:16:14.784 – 00:16:25.164] He, uh, he had Ebby with him in the room, and, and he called up Ollie, and he said, "Ollie, I got this guy, and then, uh, he needs to get sober down there in, in Texas." [00:16:25.164 – 00:16:35.224] And, uh, um, Ollie said, "Well, put the s- put the son of a bitch on the phone." And, uh, so Ebby, not all that wild about getting

[00:16:35.224 – 00:16:38.924] sober, went down there anyway and, and did get sober. [00:16:38.924 – 00:16:42.824] Uh, stayed with Circe and, and got sober for a while. [00:16:42.824 – 00:16:52.424] And, uh, in February 14th, uh, Bill's father, Gilman, uh, Barrows W., age 84, died penniless in Vancouver, Canada. [00:16:52.424 – 00:16:56.894] He ended up working as a night watchman in a quarry that he had been part owner of. [00:16:56.894 – 00:17:02.084] His ashes were returned to East D., Vermont for burial at the W. family plot. [00:17:02.084 – 00:17:08.803] Gilman and Christine, his second wife, were looked after by Vancouver AA members. [00:17:08.803 – 00:17:17.504] And less than a year later, on January 6th, 1955, uh, his wi- Gilman's wife, Chris- second wife, Christine, died.

[00:17:17.504 – 00:17:27.504] And, uh, w- while we're talking about his parents, um, w- we're gonna do a little parenthesis here and talk about [00:17:27.504 – 00:17:28.924] Bill's fight with depression. [00:17:28.924 – 00:17:39.484] And, uh, uh, whether you think it's with a capital D or a small D, um, you know, I'm not a clinical psychologist, [00:17:39.484 – 00:17:42.574] but, uh, Bill had a fight with depression his whole life. [00:17:42.574 – 00:17:49.764] In the spring of 1906, Bill's mother, Emily, took their two children on a picnic to Dorset P., where she made two announcements. [00:17:49.764 – 00:17:58.284] First, their father was never coming back, and secondly, she was going to Boston to study medicine, and third, the kids weren't going with her. [00:17:58.284 – 00:17:59.964] They were gonna stay with the grandparents.

[00:17:59.964 – 00:18:07.084] So father and mother both leaving at the same time and, you know, I don't know if… [00:18:07.084 – 00:18:09.164] about abandonment issues much. [00:18:09.164 – 00:18:19.244] But, uh, anyway, Bill started, actually started one of the rough drafts of his story for the Big Book with the phrase, "When I was about 10 years old, my father [00:18:19.244 – 00:18:29.784] and mother agreed to disagree, and I went to live with my grandfather and grandmother." Uh, many of you have probably seen this picture of the house [00:18:29.784 – 00:18:31.264] that, uh, that they lived in. [00:18:31.264 – 00:18:32.884] Uh, this was, uh… [00:18:32.884 – 00:18:37.244] He lived there with his grandfather and his grandmother, uh, there in East D..

[00:18:37.244 – 00:18:41.184] Actually, uh, that's what it looks like, uh, nowadays. [00:18:41.184 – 00:18:47.224] It probably looked a little bit more like this, uh, or even worse when Bill lived there. [00:18:47.224 – 00:18:54.044] Um, and, uh, he had to be a number one man. [00:18:54.044 – 00:18:59.324] A lot of this, uh, following here is from Bob K.'s, uh, uh, writing. [00:18:59.324 – 00:19:09.524] Uh, Fay- Fayette and Ella G. proved kindly as surrogate parents, yet deep within, young Bill W. ached of, uh, [00:19:09.524 – 00:19:13.964] a, a feeling of rejection, more painful because in his mind it was deserved. [00:19:13.964 – 00:19:24.844] So his grandfather, uh, told him, he said, "You know, Bill, I don't think anybody in the world except an Australian bush man knows how to make a boomerang."

[00:19:24.844 – 00:19:27.904] And, uh, so Bill jumped right on there. [00:19:27.904 – 00:19:29.244] He, uh, took his… [00:19:29.244 – 00:19:38.524] took the wood out of his headboard of his bed and whittled it away until he had a boomerang that came back and almost hit his grandfather in the head. [00:19:38.524 – 00:19:45.744] And, uh, Bill says, "I remember how ecstatically happy and stimulated I was by this crowning success. [00:19:45.744 – 00:19:55.764] I had become a number one man." And, uh, and of course, he goes on there in his story to later say, uh, "Emotionally, I'd begun fashioning [00:19:55.764 – 00:20:04.564] another sort of boomerang, one that almost killed me later on." So his parents had left, and, and he and his sister were alone there. [00:20:04.564 – 00:20:08.624] And, and, uh, so he had that one triumph.

[00:20:08.624 – 00:20:10.684] He was a number one man, so that was it. [00:20:10.684 – 00:20:11.804] Where do we go next? [00:20:11.804 – 00:20:18.334] So his grandfather, uh, uh, gestured to Bill and he said, "Let's go up to the attic, Bill. [00:20:18.334 – 00:20:21.583] I think Uncle C. left an old violin there. [00:20:21.583 – 00:20:26.124] But I'm sure you don't have much of a, uh, much of an ear for music. [00:20:26.124 – 00:20:30.724] You probably can't learn how to play it." Well, that was all that Bill needed to hear. [00:20:30.724 – 00:20:40.984] Of course, it was a piece of worthless instrument, but he tuned it up and, uh, and worked on it and got it going and, uh, and, uh,

[00:20:40.984 – 00:20:45.784] learned how to play the violin and, uh, learned how to play it fairly well. [00:20:45.784 – 00:20:53.274] Here's a picture of, uh, of, of Bill W., uh, playing the fiddle while a student at Norwich U.. [00:20:53.274 – 00:20:54.744] It, uh… [00:20:54.744 – 00:21:00.764] This was taken on a road tour by the Norwich U. Musical C. in Swanton, Vermont. [00:21:00.764 – 00:21:01.444] Vermont. [00:21:01.444 – 00:21:05.604] And it was, uh, uh, in the, in the publication of The Reveille. [00:21:05.604 – 00:21:10.444] That was Norwich's, uh, magazine.

[00:21:10.444 – 00:21:12.544] And then Bill and Lois met. [00:21:12.544 – 00:21:19.904] Then through an arrangement with his father, he began chopping wood, and he was paid $4 a cord to do that when he was growing up. [00:21:19.904 – 00:21:25.294] Uh, he played with a, uh, had a little band of his own when he was a kid they called- [00:21:25.508 – 00:21:26.448] The Aeolians. [00:21:26.448 – 00:21:33.548] And they were developing something of reputation, barnstorming the county, playing at high school dances and other special events. [00:21:33.548 – 00:21:36.668] He had to keep doing something that he was good at. [00:21:36.668 – 00:21:38.808] He had to keep proving himself.

[00:21:38.808 – 00:21:44.308] And the thing with the, with the violin is something that he kept up all of his life. [00:21:44.308 – 00:21:51.748] And, uh, he, uh, all of his life even playing with, uh, with Lois later on. [00:21:51.748 – 00:21:54.168] And then another obsession began. [00:21:54.168 – 00:21:55.988] It's, it's one right after another. [00:21:55.988 – 00:21:59.648] You know, once he masters something, he's gotta go on to the next thing. [00:21:59.648 – 00:22:02.148] And he couldn't get anyone to play with him. [00:22:02.148 – 00:22:08.868] Uh, he, he, uh, his first tryouts, uh, for baseball, he got hit in the head by the ball.

[00:22:08.868 – 00:22:15.868] Everybody laughed at him, and so he said, "Well, I'm gonna show you." He spent hours throwing rocks at a telephone pole. [00:22:15.868 – 00:22:22.808] And, uh, he, uh, he, he wanted to be number one and the captain because they'd laughed at him. [00:22:22.808 – 00:22:32.828] So in fact, he so overdid his practice that year that he injured the socket of his right arm and developed a condition which was described as rather like ring bone in a [00:22:32.828 – 00:22:37.908] horse, in which to the end of his life prevented the arm from being, ever being fully extended. [00:22:37.908 – 00:22:42.728] But he learned how to throw curve balls and spit balls and knuckle balls. [00:22:42.728 – 00:22:45.598] So they sent him, uh, you know, they had the money. [00:22:45.598 – 00:22:49.808] They sent him to, uh, uh, Burr and Burton S. in, uh, Manchester.

[00:22:49.808 – 00:22:51.488] It wasn't a seminary at that time. [00:22:51.488 – 00:22:55.128] It was open, uh, to, uh, co-eds also. [00:22:55.128 – 00:22:58.988] Bill boarded during the week from 1909 to 1913. [00:22:58.988 – 00:23:03.268] Uh, he did become first violin of the Burr and Burton O.. [00:23:03.268 – 00:23:13.808] It was a small orchestra, so it wasn't that big of a deal, but he was first violin, captain of the baseball team, president of his class, and, uh, president of the YMCA. [00:23:13.808 – 00:23:17.698] And he met his first girlfriend, Ber- well, his girlfriend. [00:23:17.698 – 00:23:24.348] First serious love, Bertha B., and she was, uh, popular in school too.

[00:23:24.348 – 00:23:32.728] And he met Bertha, and, uh, this was his first serious, uh, love of his life. [00:23:32.728 – 00:23:38.088] And I think her picture is, should come up here. [00:23:38.088 – 00:23:39.528] There we go. [00:23:39.528 – 00:23:45.288] And in 1912, uh, so he w- everything was going along fine. [00:23:45.288 – 00:23:52.367] Here was this guy, and he was number one man in baseball team, and s- first violin, and fallen in love. [00:23:52.367 – 00:24:01.268] On N. 18th, Bill W.'s schoolmate and first love, Bertha B., died from hemorrhaging after surgery at the Flower H. in New York City. [00:24:01.268 – 00:24:09.908] And, uh, it began a three-year episode of depression which severely affected his performance at school and, and at home.

[00:24:09.908 – 00:24:13.908] Uh, he, uh, he, he would go out. [00:24:13.908 – 00:24:18.948] He would sneak out at night and, uh, and go to, and visit her grave. [00:24:18.948 – 00:24:23.248] He was also a, a pallbearer, uh, at her funeral. [00:24:23.248 – 00:24:33.388] In 1915, uh, the early, at the start of his second semester at Norwich, Bill hurt his elbow and insisted on being treated by his mother [00:24:33.388 – 00:24:34.088] in Boston. [00:24:34.088 – 00:24:37.948] And she did not receive him well and immediately sent him back. [00:24:37.948 – 00:24:47.088] Bill had panic attacks, and he thought they were heart attacks, and every attempt to perform physical exercise caused him to be taken to the college infirmary.

[00:24:47.088 – 00:24:51.588] And, uh, his condition worsened in East D. after he got back there. [00:24:51.588 – 00:24:56.268] They could find nothing wrong with him, and he had sinking spells. [00:24:56.268 – 00:25:05.707] You know, later his grandfather Fayette again motivated him again to, uh, get him to effective opening an agency to sell cars. [00:25:05.707 – 00:25:08.928] And, uh, this is the kind of cars that he was selling. [00:25:08.928 – 00:25:13.148] And, and he, uh, he started working on that. [00:25:13.148 – 00:25:18.048] He said he, he wrote to his mother that he nearly sold an automobile to the Bamfords. [00:25:18.048 – 00:25:22.408] Lois felt that Bill's relationship with his mother was not all it might have been.

[00:25:22.408 – 00:25:26.968] Uh, Bill felt as if his mother had deserted him when she went into Boston to go to school. [00:25:26.968 – 00:25:31.508] He almost hated her for a long time until he got to know her. [00:25:31.508 – 00:25:34.408] Part of the problem may have been Emily, Dr. [00:25:34.408 – 00:25:38.108] Emily's feminism, which was the phenomenon in her time. [00:25:38.108 – 00:25:41.628] She first began her practice in Boston while Bill was at Norwich. [00:25:41.628 – 00:25:44.008] She refused to accept male patients. [00:25:44.008 – 00:25:46.088] She was also very opinionated.

[00:25:46.088 – 00:25:50.988] She once declared that most of the world's troubles stemmed from sex and alcohol. [00:25:50.988 – 00:26:00.188] On returning day, uh, New York in 1927, uh, Bill and Lois rented a three-room apartment at 38 Livingston S.. [00:26:00.188 – 00:26:01.988] And of course, that wasn't big enough. [00:26:01.988 – 00:26:03.788] Three-room apartment wasn't big enough. [00:26:03.788 – 00:26:10.988] Bill rented the one next to it, tore down the wall, and, and built it, and, uh, made it into one great big one. [00:26:10.988 – 00:26:12.508] Had to be bigger. [00:26:12.508 – 00:26:22.828] By the end of 1927, though, Bill was so depressed by his behavior and drinking that he signed over to Lois all his rights, titles, and interest to his stockbroker accounts.

[00:26:22.828 – 00:26:32.808] And of course, we know about, uh, 1934, the depression that he went through, uh, in 1934 that ended, uh… [00:26:32.808 – 00:26:37.528] No, that didn't end, but, uh, that, that got him into, uh, Townes H.. [00:26:37.528 – 00:26:42.328] 1944, Bill began, uh, a twice-a-week treatment with Dr. [00:26:42.328 – 00:26:46.108] Tebow for debilitating episodes of depression. [00:26:47.192 – 00:26:47.612] Some A.A. [00:26:47.612 – 00:26:54.382] members were outraged and castigated Bill for not working the program, secretly drinking and pill taking. [00:26:54.382 – 00:26:58.012] Uh, Bill endured the attacks in silence.

[00:26:58.012 – 00:27:01.532] 1945, Bill started seeing psychotherapist Dr. [00:27:01.532 – 00:27:02.552] Frances W.. [00:27:02.552 – 00:27:07.742] W-E-E-K-S is how it's virtually spelled in all of the, uh, A.A. [00:27:07.742 – 00:27:08.302] literature. [00:27:08.302 – 00:27:12.052] Uh, it's really spelled W-I-C-K-E-S. [00:27:12.052 – 00:27:16.262] He was a Jungian and, and, uh, he saw her once a week on Fridays. [00:27:16.262 – 00:27:19.252] Continued to see her until 1949.

[00:27:19.252 – 00:27:28.352] In 1959 after that, uh, the depression that plagued Bill was, eh, lifted a little bit and he regained his bright outlook. [00:27:28.352 – 00:27:38.552] However, during 1956, his best friend, Mark W., childhood buddy, uh, died, and, uh, that did not help his depression. [00:27:38.552 – 00:27:40.472] So here is Bill. [00:27:40.472 – 00:27:42.712] He's writing the, uh, the 12 and 12. [00:27:42.712 – 00:27:49.172] And, uh, he gets to writing the 12 and 12, and this is from, uh, Susan C.'s book. [00:27:49.172 – 00:27:52.682] And, uh, she says, "To edit the new book, Bill tapped A.A. [00:27:52.682 – 00:28:00.692] friend Tom P., who had worked in advertising and lived nearby in Chappaqua, and Chappaqua, and magazine editor Betty L..

[00:28:00.692 – 00:28:05.972] The three met in the morning in Witt's End, the cinderblock office Bill had built on a ridge above his house. [00:28:05.972 – 00:28:13.132] Soon after they began the work, Bill was felled with the third disabling depression of his life, which he called a period of blackness. [00:28:13.132 – 00:28:23.192] Some mornings, Tom P. later told me, Bill would just put his head down on his desk and weep while Powers and Love tapped out the new steps on Bill's typewriter." [00:28:23.192 – 00:28:32.952] She goes on to say in her book, I interviewed Tom P. before he died, and, and, uh, Bill's mood became much darker. [00:28:32.952 – 00:28:36.312] After 15 years of leading A.A., he was tired. [00:28:36.312 – 00:28:39.902] He felt an enormous burden of responsibility and expectation. [00:28:39.902 – 00:28:45.632] In fact, he introduced a resolution that passed in 1955 to turn A.A.

[00:28:45.632 – 00:28:47.052] over to its members. [00:28:47.052 – 00:28:57.132] Um, here, uh, just, uh, quickly is the substance of a letter that Bill W. wrote, uh, several years, uh, after to a close friend [00:28:57.132 – 00:28:59.292] that was having trouble with depression. [00:28:59.292 – 00:29:04.652] And the letter appeared in the Grapevine in January of 1958. [00:29:04.652 – 00:29:11.132] And, uh, and it says, uh, "I think that many oldsters have put the, who have put the b- A.A. [00:29:11.132 – 00:29:21.252] booze cruise to severe but successful, uh, uh, tests, uh, still find they often lack emotional sobriety." [00:29:21.252 – 00:29:24.581] Down there farther it says, "Suddenly I realized what the matter was.

[00:29:24.581 – 00:29:34.392] My basic flaw had always been dependence, almost absolute dependence on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like. [00:29:34.392 – 00:29:38.532] Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications. [00:29:38.532 – 00:29:45.592] I had fought for them, and when defeat came, so did my depression." And, uh, uh, sorry. [00:29:45.592 – 00:29:54.092] Uh, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand. [00:29:54.092 – 00:30:00.492] Um, uh, let us, with God's help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. [00:30:00.492 – 00:30:02.992] Then we can be set free to live and love. [00:30:02.992 – 00:30:13.032] We can then be able to gain emotional sobriety." At the end of the letter, he, uh, he says, and this was in 1958, he says, "Nowadays, my brain no

[00:30:13.032 – 00:30:17.712] longer races compulsively in either elation, grandiosity, or depression. [00:30:17.712 – 00:30:25.612] I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine." Nell W., uh, first A.A. [00:30:25.612 – 00:30:34.602] archivist, said in a recording that during his period of depression, during Bill's periods of depression, he still accomplished so much for A.A. [00:30:34.602 – 00:30:38.312] and was always, uh, sharing with others about his depression. [00:30:38.312 – 00:30:48.312] She said that she knew of people who would come up to Bill and say, "Thank you for saving my life twice." Once for alcoholism [00:30:48.312 – 00:30:49.772] and once for depression. [00:30:49.772 – 00:30:57.762] Here's a picture of, uh, 1955, California, Chuck, Chuck S., and, uh, and Bill W..

[00:30:57.762 – 00:31:00.512] Chuck S., of course, A New P. of Glasses. [00:31:00.512 – 00:31:04.112] That was a talk that he gave that turned into a, a great book. [00:31:04.112 – 00:31:08.072] Here's a picture, uh, also with Bill, and, uh, Mrs. [00:31:08.072 – 00:31:15.072] Chuck C., um, and, uh, uh, Elsa, and, uh, and with Wynn L.. [00:31:15.072 – 00:31:18.992] And we'll get to her later, but first, uh, there's, uh, Chuck S. and his wife. [00:31:18.992 – 00:31:28.471] Uh, if any of you have read, uh, New P. of Glasses, you'll note that Chuck S. mentioned that he went through years of having trouble with communicating with his son. [00:31:28.471 – 00:31:31.552] And, uh, but once he instead of…

[00:31:31.552 – 00:31:33.432] He said he learned in A.A. [00:31:33.432 – 00:31:38.012] that, that he had to stop telling his son and start sharing with his son. [00:31:38.012 – 00:31:42.632] And after he started sharing instead of telling, that the relationship got better. [00:31:42.632 – 00:31:48.372] Of course, his son was, uh, Richard C., the, uh, movie star. [00:31:48.372 – 00:31:57.172] And, uh, Wynn L., uh, was a co-founder of the Los Angeles Area I. Committee and was the author of a chapter in the Big Book. [00:31:57.172 – 00:32:01.332] It's the second to the last one right now called Freedom F. Bondage. [00:32:01.332 – 00:32:04.892] It's the story with the suggestion on how to get rid of resentments.

[00:32:04.892 – 00:32:07.542] And I'm sure y- most of you know of that. [00:32:07.542 – 00:32:08.062] If you have a re- [00:32:08.176 – 00:32:08.596] Resentment. [00:32:08.596 – 00:32:10.176] You want to be free of. [00:32:10.176 – 00:32:14.575] If you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. [00:32:14.575 – 00:32:24.696] And of course, in 1955, they had the, uh, the, the conference where, um, AA came of age, and Bill [00:32:24.696 – 00:32:34.716] turned over, uh, the traditions and the world service to AA itself, to the world services, and

[00:32:34.716 – 00:32:38.216] to, uh, the general service conference of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:32:38.216 – 00:32:44.436] And, uh, that they are the, uh, successors of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:32:44.436 – 00:32:48.216] Bill said he'd tried governing AA, uh, before. [00:32:48.216 – 00:32:55.336] Each time, uh, he tried, but, uh, on several occasions it looked as though I was due for swift and certain excommunication. [00:32:55.336 – 00:33:05.796] He says, "I feel the future of Alcoholics Anonymous in this conference is utterly safe, even from me." Bill W. had officially withdrawn [00:33:05.796 – 00:33:08.776] from AA leadership at the Fellowship's Coming of Age convention. [00:33:08.776 – 00:33:10.256] Of course, he continued.

[00:33:10.256 – 00:33:12.195] He never really faded into the background. [00:33:12.195 – 00:33:21.516] Continued to write letters, publish essays in the AA newsletter, and lobby for changes in the organization's governing structure for more than a decade. [00:33:21.516 – 00:33:31.746] And, uh, actually, this was the AA Grapevine quote of the day yesterday, and it's a quote from Bill, uh, that, where he says, uh, [00:33:31.746 – 00:33:34.436] "I expect to be on tap." You know, I'm ready. [00:33:34.436 – 00:33:35.396] You know, I'm here. [00:33:35.396 – 00:33:38.796] "I expect to be on tap but never on top. [00:33:38.796 – 00:33:45.356] This being precisely the stance that AA hopes all its old-timers will take." So AA…

[00:33:45.356 – 00:33:49.956] So B. wants to get away from AA, and he wants to, you know, I don't know what he wanted to be. [00:33:49.956 – 00:33:51.715] He didn't know what he wanted to be. [00:33:51.715 – 00:34:02.256] He was gonna be a coun- country gentleman and go out there to Stepping S., and, and Lois was gonna give him her honey-do list, and, you know, he was gonna, [00:34:02.256 – 00:34:11.316] you know, just be a man about town or whatever, and, you know, give me the shopping list, and let me go, go do the shopping. [00:34:11.316 – 00:34:16.416] And, and, uh, and, uh, here, here's Bill and Lois. [00:34:16.416 – 00:34:18.346] Couple of blu- blurry pictures. [00:34:18.346 – 00:34:24.556] But the picnic in 1955 at Stepping S. still has been virtual the last couple of years.

[00:34:24.556 – 00:34:32.425] But Bill was out there, uh, just being a hubby, and, uh, uh, doing a lot of things. [00:34:32.425 – 00:34:37.246] Going to get the Coca-Cola and, and, uh, doing a lot of things. [00:34:37.246 – 00:34:37.636] But he… [00:34:37.636 – 00:34:44.236] One of the things that he needed to do was to, uh, become a husband again. [00:34:44.236 – 00:34:50.156] On A. 11th, 1956, he wrote, "Dear G.." Not sure if this is Gerald H. or not. [00:34:50.156 – 00:35:00.176] But anyway, he says, "Lois and I have taken small house." So they rented a little house, uh, out by Stepping S. from Bedford H., "Where we live by [00:35:00.176 – 00:35:02.316] and for ourselves three days a week.

[00:35:02.316 – 00:35:12.676] And, uh, finding the time to get, uh, to get reacquainted and measurably restoring the balance so long lost in 20 years of AA 24 [00:35:12.676 – 00:35:18.176] hours a day." So he and Lois just went out and got off by themselves in this rented house. [00:35:18.176 – 00:35:27.476] "So far so good, though much more of the same is needed, and always will be." So he was trying to be a hubby and everything else, and helping out with the chores. [00:35:27.476 – 00:35:29.036] Just a regular old guy. [00:35:29.036 – 00:35:39.466] Well, '56 came along, and, uh, in August of 1956, uh, British radio commentator Gerald H. introduced [00:35:39.466 – 00:35:40.016] Bill W. [00:35:40.016 – 00:35:49.676] to Aldous H. and British psychiatrist Humphrey O. and Abram H., who were working with schizophrenic and alcoholic patients in Canada.

[00:35:49.676 – 00:35:55.606] Bill joined with Hurd and Hu- Huxley and first took LSD in California on August 29th. [00:35:55.606 – 00:35:59.596] At the time, LSD was thought to have psychotherapeutic potential. [00:35:59.596 – 00:36:05.316] Research was being funded by the National I. of Health and the National A. of Sciences. [00:36:05.316 – 00:36:13.396] Osmond and Hoffer's intent was to induce an experience similar to the DTs in hopes it might shock alcoholics away from alcohol. [00:36:13.396 – 00:36:22.496] Among those invited to experiment with LSD, and who accepted, were Nell W., Father D., Sam S., and Lois W.. [00:36:22.496 – 00:36:31.196] Marty M. and, and Helen W. participated in New York under medical supervision by a psychiatrist from Roosevelt H.. [00:36:31.196 – 00:36:33.936] There were rep- repercussions within AA.

[00:36:33.936 – 00:36:35.176] Yeah, you can bet that. [00:36:35.176 – 00:36:35.936] There still are. [00:36:35.936 – 00:36:38.316] Lois was a reluctant participant. [00:36:38.316 – 00:36:46.635] And Hoffer and Osmond did research later that influenced Bill with the vitamin B3 that we'll talk about in, uh, part two. [00:36:46.635 – 00:36:51.126] It also creat- created traditions issues within the fellowship. [00:36:51.126 – 00:36:58.536] Uh, Bill had several experiments with LSD up to 1959, perhaps into the 1960s. [00:36:58.536 – 00:37:08.536] Bob K., talking about, um, uh, the LSD experiences, asked the big question: "How could Bill the W., the grand pooh-bah

[00:37:08.536 – 00:37:17.376] of sobriety, ever allow himself to join the Leary-esque acid heads and turn on, tune in, and drop out?" That's from Bill W. [00:37:17.376 – 00:37:17.716] and Mr. [00:37:17.716 – 00:37:19.776] W., Matthew R.. [00:37:19.776 – 00:37:29.286] Down at the bottom there, it says, "When B. W. first tried LSD at the Veterans VA Hospital in Los Angeles in '56, the LSD world of Timothy L. and-" [00:37:29.540 – 00:37:31.380] And hippies was fully 10 years away. [00:37:31.380 – 00:37:33.580] LSD was a lab experiment. [00:37:33.580 – 00:37:38.560] The street drug incarnation of LSD simply hadn't yet happened.

[00:37:38.560 – 00:37:42.140] LSD simply was not LSD yet. [00:37:42.140 – 00:37:45.560] Uh, so Bill and Dr. [00:37:45.560 – 00:37:50.660] Bob, uh, mentioned, uh, Heard there a couple times before. [00:37:50.660 – 00:37:51.200] Uh, Bill W. [00:37:51.200 – 00:37:51.540] and Dr. [00:37:51.540 – 00:37:56.640] Bob were both familiar with Heard's early writings on spirituality and social organization. [00:37:56.640 – 00:38:03.300] Eugene E., the religion editor at Harper & Brothers, probably introduced them to Heard's ideas.

[00:38:03.300 – 00:38:12.160] Exman was Heard's editors in Harper's in the '30s, and, uh, uh, he was helping W. find a way to, to get the big book into print. [00:38:12.160 – 00:38:16.550] Now, and there are many, uh, similarities. [00:38:16.550 – 00:38:24.740] Heard was just a- another one of these seekers of the time, and these guys were all in touch and reading each other and meeting each other. [00:38:24.740 – 00:38:30.920] Uh, there were similarities, uh, mostly with the 12 steps and 12 traditions of Heard's ideas. [00:38:30.920 – 00:38:34.720] Heard's influence is most clearly seen in the 12 steps and traditions. [00:38:34.720 – 00:38:44.880] Um, uh, in the, in there it says, "When a man or woman has a spiritual awakening, uh, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, [00:38:44.880 – 00:38:50.220] feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone.

[00:38:50.220 – 00:39:00.220] He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being." This and some of the other things that we'll, uh, we'll be looking at in the next few [00:39:00.220 – 00:39:06.360] slides, uh, are from a book called Distilled S. by Don L.. [00:39:06.360 – 00:39:13.580] Of course, uh, writing about a mystical awakening is not the same as actually having one. [00:39:13.580 – 00:39:23.860] In the spring of 1953, a year after W. published the 12 steps and 12 traditions, Aldous H., Brave N. World, Aldous H. would find a powerful [00:39:23.860 – 00:39:30.540] new tool for actually experiencing that ultimate reality that we glibly call God. [00:39:30.540 – 00:39:40.560] Huxley, sitting in the study of his home in the Hollywood H., would be given a dose of mescaline by a Canadian psychiatrist who was treating alcoholics with another psychedelic drug, a much [00:39:40.560 – 00:39:44.460] more powerful agent called lysergic acid diethylamide 25.

[00:39:44.460 – 00:39:54.500] Humphry O.'s chemical approach to cosmic consciousness would soon have a profound effect on the lives of Heard, Huxley, and W., and on millions of other Americans. [00:39:54.500 – 00:39:57.600] So who knew that… [00:39:57.600 – 00:40:06.760] I don't know if they're talking about alien, uh, but anyway, here by 1954, Heard and W., they were both fascinated with flying saucers. [00:40:06.760 – 00:40:13.800] You know, everybody knows psychic activities, but flying saucers and psychic activity, we'll get more into that in part two. [00:40:13.800 – 00:40:14.960] But they… [00:40:14.960 – 00:40:20.140] those, uh, were taking a backseat to their new interest in psychedelic d- drugs. [00:40:20.140 – 00:40:24.400] Short letter written by W. to, on September 9, 1954.

[00:40:24.400 – 00:40:30.160] Go down there to where it says, "Dear G.," Bill writes, "Thanks so much for your letter of July. [00:40:30.160 – 00:40:31.960] I'm glad you like the saucer account. [00:40:31.960 – 00:40:34.480] Seems like an unusually clean-cut sighting. [00:40:34.480 – 00:40:44.750] Am looking forward with great anticip- anticipation to your visit in September." And, uh, um, Osmond [00:40:44.750 – 00:40:54.120] confirms that W. was initially reluctant to experiment with psychedelics, even after he presented the AA co-founder with evidence that it was helping hardcore alcoholics. [00:40:54.120 – 00:40:56.320] "Early on, I told Bill W. [00:40:56.320 – 00:41:04.260] that this was good news, but he was far from pleased with the idea of alcoholics being assailed by some strange chemical," Osmond recalled.

[00:41:04.260 – 00:41:10.220] "But later on, Bill got extremely interested and took LSD with Sidney C. in Los Angeles. [00:41:10.220 – 00:41:18.290] He likened his experience to his earlier vision in Townes H. of seeing this chain of drunks around the world all helping each other. [00:41:18.290 – 00:41:21.040] This caused various scandals in AA. [00:41:21.040 – 00:41:32.780] They were very ambivalent about their great founder take- founder taking LSD, yet they wouldn't have existed if he hadn't been of an adventurous kind." So, [00:41:32.780 – 00:41:42.790] uh, from, uh, the collected, uh, Heard's, um, there in yellow it says, "Here's one clear reason why Bill W. experimented with [00:41:42.790 – 00:41:43.360] LSD. [00:41:43.360 – 00:41:53.390] He was seeking still further ways of helping alcoholics, specifically those alcoholics who, who could not seem to maintain sobriety because apparently they could not

[00:41:53.390 – 00:41:58.090] get the spiritual." Support for this research came from a surprising source. [00:41:58.090 – 00:42:08.220] When one of his parishioners expressed concern to Sam S., the reverend consulted his superior, Bishop P., who declared himself in utmost sympathy with what Bill is doing. [00:42:08.220 – 00:42:16.100] "The Bishop," S. reported to W., "is convinced that the biochemical factor is of the greatest importance. [00:42:16.100 – 00:42:26.120] Half of our problems are biochemical and do not go back to sin and cannot be wholly governed by a prayer." Here are some of the notes that, [00:42:26.120 – 00:42:31.580] uh, Heard took during, uh, Bill's first LSD, uh, trip. [00:42:31.580 – 00:42:36.500] Uh, the notes say that at 1:00 p.m., Bill reported a feeling of peace. [00:42:36.500 – 00:42:38.950] At 2:31, he was even happier.

[00:42:38.950 – 00:42:43.060] He said, "Tobacco is not necessary to me anymore," he reported. [00:42:43.060 – 00:42:47.100] 3:15, he felt an enormous enlargement of everything around him. [00:42:47.100 – 00:42:49.580] 3:22, he asked for a cigarette. [00:42:49.580 – 00:42:50.590] Well, that didn't last long. [00:42:51.484 – 00:42:55.284] At 3:40, he said he thought people shouldn't take themselves so damn seriously. [00:42:55.284 – 00:43:01.494] And later he said, "On my return home, I fell into one of my fits of exhaustion which bordered on the serious. [00:43:01.494 – 00:43:08.244] I do not think that in any way my state is related to my experience in looking through the doors of perception.

[00:43:08.244 – 00:43:16.544] In spite of my temporary con- condition, I do feel a residue of assurance and a feeling of enhanced beauty that seems like likely to stay with me. [00:43:16.544 – 00:43:20.064] I'm certain that the LSD experience has helped me very much. [00:43:20.064 – 00:43:30.464] I find myself with a heightened color perception and an appreciation of beauty almost destroyed by my years of depression." And again, these people [00:43:30.464 – 00:43:34.244] that were searchers of, for spirituality or, um. [00:43:34.244 – 00:43:43.824] In, uh, this next slide, uh, Bill thanks Aldous H. for sending him a copy of a, a Krishnamurti book, The Declaration of Freedom. [00:43:43.824 – 00:43:53.744] Um, and Krishnamurti struggles back in the '20s to, uh, similar to Bill, free himself from his messianic role in theosophy. [00:43:53.744 – 00:43:55.704] He said it oddly stirred him.

[00:43:55.704 – 00:44:04.464] And Bi- uh, Bill writes, uh, "The AA 12 Steps for recovery and its 12 Traditions for the unity of group life carefully avoid coercion. [00:44:04.464 – 00:44:12.744] 12 Steps are made as suggestions, and implicit in our traditions is the idea that these principles too can be taken or left alone. [00:44:12.744 – 00:44:18.824] We exercise no personal authority, no money can be demanded, nor are any beliefs required. [00:44:18.824 – 00:44:29.144] However, it is true that in early AA life we are subject to an enormous coercion, that of being hourly aware that barleycorn will destor- destroy us if we don't conform [00:44:29.144 – 00:44:32.364] in some degree to AA's attitudes and practices. [00:44:32.364 – 00:44:42.584] So men conform at first because they must, still balking somewhat." Uh, but at the end there he says, "So long as we hold this plateau, [00:44:42.584 – 00:44:48.224] we know something of the freedom which Krishnamu- Krishnamurti speaks in our rather fitful way.

[00:44:48.224 – 00:44:58.424] Most of us, uh, are, are thus moving toward freedom." And, uh, David and, uh, Lucille K., [00:44:58.424 – 00:45:08.803] wealthy couple who participate in some of the early sessions with Bill, uh, he said, uh, uh, "At the Kahns', I recently spent several pleasant hours with Aldous [00:45:08.803 – 00:45:10.244] and his charming lady. [00:45:10.244 – 00:45:14.404] Since then, Lois and I have most carefully read his recent Heaven and Hell. [00:45:14.404 – 00:45:18.404] It was one of the most integrating experiences we have known in a long time. [00:45:18.404 – 00:45:21.944] We feel positive that he is on precisely the right track. [00:45:21.944 – 00:45:29.404] It was astonishing to see how our own psychic experiences, and those of many friends, fitted into the frame of reference that he has drawn.

[00:45:29.404 – 00:45:33.404] We could almost substantiate every chapter, page and verse. [00:45:33.404 – 00:45:42.344] When you see him, tell him about this." Heaven and Hell was Huxley's second book on the psychedelic drug experience, the sequel to The Doors of Perception. [00:45:42.344 – 00:45:52.104] There are a bunch of letters, uh, that, that Bill writes, um, and, uh, I'm gonna skip, uh, here a little bit sometimes. [00:45:52.104 – 00:45:57.484] An AA member was not happy with Bill taking LSD. [00:45:57.484 – 00:46:00.264] Now, whether this was Sam S., I don't know. [00:46:00.264 – 00:46:10.444] But it says, "An AA member," uh, to one of Bill's friends on March 24th, "Dearest S., Bill put himself under this dope on the grounds that only through its use [00:46:10.444 – 00:46:13.624] has he been able to repeat his original spiritual experience.

[00:46:13.624 – 00:46:23.624] He now alibis himself by saying that he has given his life to AA, and that he has a right to do whatever he wishes [00:46:23.624 – 00:46:33.624] with the remainder of his life." And, uh, the person ends up by saying, "Well, he does not." By [00:46:33.624 – 00:46:42.404] the way, these, uh, uh, are shots from the movie, the documentary, uh, by Carracino and Hanlon, uh, that I highly recommend. [00:46:42.404 – 00:46:47.964] Bill wrote to Father D. and, uh, he said, "The LSD business goes on apace. [00:46:47.964 – 00:46:52.044] This material should be of some value for those who already have the faith. [00:46:52.044 – 00:46:58.384] As for those who have no faith, it could act very much as my original experience at T. did. [00:46:58.384 – 00:47:08.433] It, uh, it might bring the gift of faith." Uh, nearly a year later on October 26, 1959, W. wrote about the

[00:47:08.433 – 00:47:18.764] controversy, and he said, "It must be confessed that these recent heresies of mine do have their comic aspects." He told Dowling that the L- LSD business created [00:47:18.764 – 00:47:20.004] some commotion. [00:47:20.004 – 00:47:31.264] The story is that, quote, "Bill takes one pill to see God and another one, uh, to quiet his nerves." Ernie K., the, uh, probably [00:47:31.264 – 00:47:41.324] first serious AA historian, uh, was granted, uh, full complete access to the archives at the General S. Office in the '70s to write [00:47:41.324 – 00:47:48.504] his, uh, doctoral diss- dissertation that eventually turned into the book called Not G.. [00:47:48.504 – 00:47:52.964] And in the course of this research, details of Bill W.'s LXD… [00:47:52.964 – 00:47:54.904] This is, uh, Ernie K. talking.

[00:47:54.904 – 00:47:58.924] "Details of Bill W.'s LSD experimentation were recovered. [00:47:58.924 – 00:48:09.003] An AA trustee had asked me to consider excluding that part of, of my dissertation from publication, but after consultation with my mentors, [00:48:09.004 – 00:48:11.834] I decided to retain it as an essential part of the…" [00:48:12.208 – 00:48:12.848] The story. [00:48:12.848 – 00:48:21.308] And, uh, once more, we return to our attempt to capture the perspective of the time. [00:48:21.308 – 00:48:24.828] The 1950s were not the 1990s. [00:48:24.828 – 00:48:34.868] Far from keeping secret his experience with LSD, AA's co-founder judiciously but eagerly spread the word, inviting not only his wife and his secretary,

[00:48:34.868 – 00:48:36.168] but also trusted friends. [00:48:36.168 – 00:48:41.988] Clearly, Bill experienced no sense of shame or guilt over his activities. [00:48:41.988 – 00:48:52.048] And, uh, s- a lot of this is from, uh, of Bob K.'s, uh, book, AA, uh, Key, uh, Key [00:48:52.048 – 00:48:52.688] Players in A. [00:48:52.688 – 00:48:58.968] Um, uh, again, uh, these guys hung around together. [00:48:58.968 – 00:49:05.648] Uh, uh, Aldous H. wrote a letter to a guy by the name of, uh, Thomas M.. [00:49:05.648 – 00:49:11.068] If you don't know Thomas M., look him up, and, uh, wrote a bunch of good stuff.

[00:49:11.068 – 00:49:21.068] Anyway, he wrote a letter, uh, to Thomas M. saying, "A friend of mine," obviously Bill, "saved from my alcoholism during the last fatal phases of the disease [00:49:21.068 – 00:49:25.807] by a spontaneous theophany, which changed his life as completely as St. [00:49:25.807 – 00:49:36.768] Paul's was changed on the road to Damascus." Down at the bottom there, uh, it says, uh, "He took LSD, but there's obviously a field here for serious and reverent experimentation." [00:49:36.768 – 00:49:46.788] Um, in, uh, his thoughts on LSD, he wrote to, uh, to Sam S., and, uh, seems [00:49:46.788 – 00:49:56.328] that, uh, "LSD seems to have the result of sharply, sharply reducing the forces of the ego." Uh, and more there. [00:49:56.328 – 00:50:00.848] Um, on the right, you'll see a letter that Bill wrote to Mr. [00:50:00.848 – 00:50:02.748] Timothy L..

[00:50:02.748 – 00:50:06.828] Uh, Leary had contacted Bill. [00:50:06.828 – 00:50:10.608] Bill answered his letter and said, "Hey, it'd be great to meet you. [00:50:10.608 – 00:50:21.607] Why don't we get together?" So, uh, anyway, to, to end up this section of it, um, although pure of motive, the LSD experimentation [00:50:21.607 – 00:50:31.608] may indicate a lack of good judgment or the alcoholic's common propensity for flying headlong into projects with an enthusiastic intensity, perhaps indicative [00:50:31.608 – 00:50:32.348] of the malady. [00:50:32.348 – 00:50:37.188] Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, or ready, fire, aim. [00:50:37.188 – 00:50:47.308] The lesson of Bill W.'s experimentation with LSD, if perfection is your goal, don't go looking for models among the members or even the founders

[00:50:47.308 – 00:50:48.648] of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:50:48.648 – 00:50:53.148] Ours is truly the spirituality of imperfection. [00:50:53.148 – 00:50:56.828] And here are just some other pictures of Bill. [00:50:56.828 – 00:50:57.908] He took the train. [00:50:57.908 – 00:50:59.188] He went to the post office. [00:50:59.188 – 00:51:07.988] He bought stamps, and, and, uh, you know, he did, uh, he did things that, that lots of normal, everyday people do. [00:51:07.988 – 00:51:10.548] Gonna go quickly here.

[00:51:10.548 – 00:51:20.568] Uh, in March of 1958, uh, he, in a letter to the delegates, he revealed information regarding his royalties and other income over the years. [00:51:20.568 – 00:51:24.308] Um, in the early years, of course, he didn't make much. [00:51:24.308 – 00:51:25.588] Let's go to the bullet points. [00:51:25.588 – 00:51:35.648] His 1957 royalty income was above $20,000, which is about $200,000 in, uh, uh, 2012 [00:51:35.648 – 00:51:36.048] money. [00:51:36.048 – 00:51:39.748] Uh, actually, this is about, uh, 2022 money. [00:51:39.748 – 00:51:49.208] So, uh, but, uh, during the seven of the early years, his average income was $1,700 a year, or 17 grand.

[00:51:49.208 – 00:51:52.268] So in the early years, he wasn't make- making much. [00:51:52.268 – 00:52:02.368] But, uh, uh, here's a, a Excel sheet that you can look up on the internet, uh, uh, that, [00:52:02.368 – 00:52:04.548] uh, talks about the royalties. [00:52:04.548 – 00:52:14.548] And, uh, if we get one up here, it talks [00:52:14.548 – 00:52:18.488] about, uh, the number of books that were, uh, sold. [00:52:18.488 – 00:52:24.828] And you look at the green over there, 229,700 big books were sold in 1951. [00:52:24.828 – 00:52:34.968] Go over to the right there, and it says, uh, so the royalties for that were $80,000, which are about $711,000 in 2012

[00:52:34.968 – 00:52:37.748] money, so maybe $800,000. [00:52:37.748 – 00:52:42.708] You, uh, scroll down there, it says Bill W.'s death. [00:52:42.708 – 00:52:47.208] There should be a, a, a green arrow there in a minute anyway. [00:52:47.208 – 00:53:00.968] Um, that, uh, by the time of Bill's death, the cumulative royalties was at $632,887, [00:53:00.968 – 00:53:07.848] which is about $4,800,000 in today's money. [00:53:07.848 – 00:53:12.908] After B.'s death, uh, the royalties were, uh, uh, went to Lois. [00:53:12.908 – 00:53:22.308] And, uh, then after Lois died, uh, for the following years, the 10 years, uh, some of them went to Stepping S. and some to other people.

[00:53:22.308 – 00:53:28.368] We'll get into those details in 1963 when we get to 1963. [00:53:28.368 – 00:53:33.348] Um, picture of Bill at the conference in '58. [00:53:33.932 – 00:53:37.952] And then, uh, pictures of him at the Founders D. in '57 and '58. [00:53:37.952 – 00:53:41.872] Um, uh, Mel B. [00:53:41.872 – 00:53:51.912] says, uh, "In fact, uh, that day on Founders D. in '58, uh, found Bill in a state of fatigue." He says, "I can remember," [00:53:51.912 – 00:54:00.982] second paragraph, "I can remember much of what Bill said that morning at the memorial service other than that he walked over to the gravestone, simply began talking to Dr. [00:54:00.982 – 00:54:03.071] Bob and Anne as if they were present.

[00:54:03.071 – 00:54:11.352] I think he talked about the accomplishments of Alcoholics Anonymous and our efforts as members to meet the high standards they had set for us years ago. [00:54:11.352 – 00:54:19.092] There was great sincerity in Bill's words and manner, and I now think that he did feel he was in direct communication with these two wonderful people wherever they were. [00:54:19.092 – 00:54:26.952] Bill truly believed in everlasting life without defining it or attempting to explain just how it, how it works. [00:54:26.952 – 00:54:36.972] I am sure he believed that Bob and Anne were living somewhere out there in the eternal goodness, or as many of our fellowship like to say, at the great big AA meeting in the [00:54:36.972 – 00:54:37.332] sky. [00:54:37.332 – 00:54:46.912] When B. closed the memorial service by placing a large wreath at the headstone, he asked all of us to bow our heads, uh, in silence. [00:54:46.912 – 00:54:55.012] Uh, and a church bell began to ring so perfectly timed with our service that the one lady let out a short gasp of wonder.

[00:54:55.012 – 00:55:05.092] Then we said the Lord's Prayer together, making us all feel that this short memorial service had really been another AA meeting." Um, I am going [00:55:05.092 – 00:55:05.802] to, uh… [00:55:05.802 – 00:55:13.432] Where was Bill on February 17th, 1959? [00:55:13.432 – 00:55:17.332] Well, he was just off the coast of Cancun, where I am currently. [00:55:17.332 – 00:55:22.132] Um, I'm skipping that, uh, uh, a slide there. [00:55:22.132 – 00:55:22.832] There's Bill. [00:55:22.832 – 00:55:26.632] And this is from Lois's, uh, diary.

[00:55:26.632 – 00:55:30.152] They were on Isla M., just right off the Cancun. [00:55:30.152 – 00:55:34.832] She said, "As we were returning, we passed a little boy with a huge load of wood on his back. [00:55:34.832 – 00:55:40.112] He was limping along and resting very often, and we found he had a thorn in his foot that we couldn't get at. [00:55:40.112 – 00:55:47.452] So to p- to pull it out, so Bill carried his bundle for him, and it must have weighed at least 40 pounds." I got some pictures of these. [00:55:47.452 – 00:55:56.572] While there, they also went to a, uh, meeting at, uh, a cemetery in Merida in Yucatan. [00:55:56.572 – 00:56:02.021] It's called the Panteon F., which means the flowery cemetery. [00:56:02.021 – 00:56:05.152] And, uh, Bill sent them a letter of thanks.

[00:56:05.152 – 00:56:12.112] He says, "The cemetery is the most suitable place indeed." Many years later, uh, Lois went back to Merida. [00:56:12.112 – 00:56:17.592] And, uh, some of these pictures are blurry, but I put them up anyway. [00:56:17.592 – 00:56:18.492] I hope you enjoy them. [00:56:18.492 – 00:56:28.532] Anyway, what it says is, "Lois B., the faithful wife of Bill W., in 1976 at a anniversary of the group, uh, Renacimiento, [00:56:28.532 – 00:56:31.352] or Rebirth, in Merida, Yucatan. [00:56:31.352 – 00:56:39.852] During her participation, they asked her, 'Is Bi- Is B. really dead?' To which she responded, 'Bill W. [00:56:39.852 – 00:56:47.532] lives in each one of us.'" And he had, uh, relationships with, uh, Latin A. people.

[00:56:47.532 – 00:56:48.831] Here he is with Mr. [00:56:48.831 – 00:56:52.732] Eddie, the founder of AA in, uh, in El S.. [00:56:52.732 – 00:57:02.792] And, uh, uh, uh, he doesn't look, uh, in this next picture, he doesn't look all too happy being hugged, uh, down [00:57:02.792 – 00:57:04.192] here in Latin A.. [00:57:04.192 – 00:57:12.782] You know, we hug every, all, all the time, and, and he didn't, uh, look all that, uh, happy to be hugged by the guy from Colombia. [00:57:12.782 – 00:57:20.262] But here they are, uh, Bill and Lois in '59, in 1959 in, uh, at Stepping S.. [00:57:20.262 – 00:57:30.572] On F. 20th, 1960, Bill was at his, uh, uh, congratulates AA in Philadelphia on its 20th anniversary, saying,

[00:57:30.572 – 00:57:34.132] uh, he wrote, uh, "For Philadelphia's 20th, nothing but the very best. [00:57:34.132 – 00:57:44.612] Ever devotedly, Bill." In, uh, 1960, uh, Bill turned down the opportunity to be on the cover of Time, even though his name wouldn't be used and he'd be photographed [00:57:44.612 – 00:57:45.192] from the back. [00:57:45.192 – 00:57:55.371] It puts it that the impact of this could have been brought in great numbers of people, but he refused it as he refused other awards because he felt that to do so [00:57:55.371 – 00:58:01.792] would threaten AA's very existence in the future by violating the very purpose of AA traditions that he had written. [00:58:01.792 – 00:58:11.272] Here's a picture of, uh, our fashion icon again, uh, with his catch of the day there. [00:58:11.272 – 00:58:13.952] When he grew up in East D., I mean, that's what they did.

[00:58:13.952 – 00:58:16.772] They, they went out hunting and fishing. [00:58:16.772 – 00:58:22.631] And, uh, and, and they, they did it when they were on their motorcycle hobo tour. [00:58:22.631 – 00:58:29.912] Bill W., uh, Time M. named him the, the Time 100 list of most important people of the 20th century. [00:58:29.912 – 00:58:37.112] From the rubble of a wasted life, he overcame alcoholism and founded the 12-step program that has helped millions. [00:58:37.112 – 00:58:44.852] Um, and in the wake of my spiritual experience, there came a vision of a society of alcoholics. [00:58:44.852 – 00:58:54.782] And, uh, in May 9th, 1960, uh, Bill, uh, wrote to a letter on, uh, on young people, and he talks about, uh, "We are- [00:58:54.856 – 00:58:56.736] We have to find a way to get to them.

[00:58:56.736 – 00:59:00.856] You know, we don't send them out telling them to go out and drink some more. [00:59:00.856 – 00:59:05.716] It's our job to find a way to raise the bottom so that it hits them. [00:59:05.716 – 00:59:11.996] In J. of 1961, he wrote, uh, most of you know this, to, uh, Carl J.. [00:59:11.996 – 00:59:18.616] Uh, in January 30th, 1961, uh, Carl J. replied to him. [00:59:18.616 – 00:59:24.136] And, uh, in March 20th, Bill, uh, replied again to Dr. [00:59:24.136 – 00:59:27.376] J.'s letter, uh, of January 30th. [00:59:27.376 – 00:59:30.276] So nothing on February.

[00:59:30.276 – 00:59:31.826] In F. of 19… [00:59:31.826 – 00:59:35.616] Where was Bill in February of 1961? [00:59:35.616 – 00:59:37.736] Well, he was on vacation in Bermuda. [00:59:37.736 – 00:59:43.176] In F., he, uh, he, uh, he wrote this letter to Nell. [00:59:43.176 – 00:59:48.696] "Dear N., we're having a great time, probably the best vacation we ever had. [00:59:48.696 – 00:59:51.306] We look and feel so well and wouldn't know the… [00:59:51.306 – 00:59:59.816] The weather has been perfect, and Cambridge B. is a superb spot." And, uh, uh, "it's perfect.

[00:59:59.816 – 01:00:08.576] Uh, a s- a super spot really." Uh, on, uh, May 15th, 1961… [01:00:08.576 – 01:00:13.756] I'm going faster than my slides, I think. [01:00:13.756 – 01:00:15.276] But we're… [01:00:15.276 – 01:00:21.876] Uh, on May 15th, 1961, Bill's mother, Emily, died in Dobbs F.- Ferry, New York. [01:00:21.876 – 01:00:24.136] Some pictures of Bill with his mother. [01:00:24.136 – 01:00:25.956] That's at Yosemite, the one in the middle. [01:00:25.956 – 01:00:28.376] The one on the right is at Stepping S..

[01:00:28.376 – 01:00:33.376] July 25th, 1961, Bill and Lois were at the Summer S. of Yale S.. [01:00:33.376 – 01:00:36.816] There's the whole class up there at the top. [01:00:36.816 – 01:00:46.916] And down in the bottom left-hand corner there, if you look, uh, you can see Bill [01:00:46.916 – 01:00:51.536] and Lois over there on the left-hand side. [01:00:51.536 – 01:00:54.756] He kept in touch with people. [01:00:54.756 – 01:00:57.626] He wrote a huge amount of letters. [01:00:57.626 – 01:01:04.556] He wrote to, uh, so he, he wrote to, uh, J- Jimmy B's a big one.

[01:01:04.556 – 01:01:05.295] You know, you can… [01:01:05.295 – 01:01:12.616] If you go, and you, uh, just, uh, type in Bill W. letters Jimmy B., y- he wrote to him all the time. [01:01:12.616 – 01:01:16.756] And, uh, you know, just talking about this and that and how things go. [01:01:16.756 – 01:01:26.616] September 30th, 1961, Bill celebrated his 27th birthday of sobriety, saying, "To each of you, our deep thanks for your presence. [01:01:26.616 – 01:01:29.496] May G. bless you and AA forever. [01:01:29.496 – 01:01:39.516] Bill and Lois." In a letter from a group in Chicago was mailed to Bill, uh, in 1960 taking his inventory, no doubt had something to [01:01:39.516 – 01:01:43.296] do with LSD and some of his other shenanigans he was…

[01:01:43.296 – 01:01:52.136] Anyway, and Bill wrote back, and he said, excuse me, "Dear B.." This is called the pedestal letter. [01:01:52.136 – 01:02:01.956] He said, "Dear B., that you seem disillusioned with me personally may be a new and painful experience for you, but many members have had that experience with me. [01:02:01.956 – 01:02:12.326] Most of their pain has been caused not only by my several shortcomings, but by their own insistence on placing me, a drunk trying to get along with other folks, upon a completely [01:02:12.326 – 01:02:22.336] illusionary pedestal, a station which no fail- fallible person could possibly occupy." "I am sure that you will understand that I have never held myself out to be [01:02:22.336 – 01:02:25.156] anybody, as either a saint or a superman. [01:02:25.156 – 01:02:32.896] I have repeatedly and truthfully said that AA is full of people who have made more spiritual progress than I ever have or can make. [01:02:32.896 – 01:02:38.916] That in some y- areas of living, I have made some decided gains, but in others, I seem to have stood still.

[01:02:38.916 – 01:02:42.496] And in still other ways, I may have gone backwards. [01:02:42.496 – 01:02:52.636] I'm sorry that you are disillusioned with me, but I am happy that even I have found a life here." So with that, we'll, we'll [01:02:52.636 – 01:03:01.396] end, uh, part one of, uh, Bill W., the man, the writer, and the seeker. [01:03:01.396 – 01:03:09.396] And, uh, I, uh, uh, I thank you for your attention, and let's see if we have any questions. [01:03:09.396 – 01:03:12.076] That's fantastic, Jim. [01:03:12.076 – 01:03:13.296] Wonderful job. [01:03:13.296 – 01:03:17.916] Uh, please unmute if you'd like to show acknowledge Jim and show some appreciation.

[01:03:17.916 – 01:03:18.696] Thank you, everyone. [01:03:18.696 – 01:03:20.576] Thank you. [01:03:20.576 – 01:03:21.566] Thanks, Jim. [01:03:21.566 – 01:03:21.567] Wow. [01:03:21.567 – 01:03:21.568] Thank you. [01:03:21.568 – 01:03:21.766] Wow. [01:03:21.766 – 01:03:23.746] That was good, Jim.

[01:03:23.746 – 01:03:24.456] Great. [01:03:24.456 – 01:03:25.616] Wonderful. [01:03:25.616 – 01:03:27.646] Thanks, Jim. [01:03:27.646 – 01:03:28.056] Thank you. [01:03:28.056 – 01:03:28.636] Thanks, Jim. [01:03:28.636 – 01:03:29.816] Thank you, Jim. [01:03:29.816 – 01:03:30.916] Thanks again, Jim.

[01:03:30.916 – 01:03:32.056] Say goodbye, young man. [01:03:32.056 – 01:03:32.716] Take care. [01:03:32.716 – 01:03:39.496] Just to bring it to your attention, Jim will be coming back to finish, do part two in, on the s- 11th of March. [01:03:39.496 – 01:03:41.896] Just to let you know, that'll be on the 11th of March. [01:03:41.896 – 01:03:52.076] And Jim, we're gonna be discussing, uh, we're gonna be looking at, um, part two the 11th of March, sex, better sex, vitamin B3, niacin, [01:03:52.076 – 01:03:55.716] uh, spooking, and transcendental meditation, Jim. [01:03:55.716 – 01:03:58.016] Do you wanna give us a little quick intro to that, Jim?

[01:03:58.016 – 01:04:02.336] Oh, well, those are just teasing words there, you know. [01:04:02.336 – 01:04:12.466] Uh, but we've, uh, we, we already mentioned a few of these things in passing, uh, in the first part, um, uh, with, uh, [01:04:12.466 – 01:04:16.106] uh, Helen and vitamin B3 and Hof- Hoffer and- [01:04:16.280 – 01:04:19.780] Uh, uh, uh, how, how to help the A's. [01:04:19.780 – 01:04:28.160] And spooking, of course, they have the spook room there in, uh, Stepping S. where they did seances and, and other, uh, psychic activities. [01:04:28.160 – 01:04:36.040] And then, uh, uh, Bill did have, uh, uh, ex- experience with transcendental meditation as well. [01:04:36.040 – 01:04:43.680] So we'll, uh, we'll, we'll get in- a little more into those things than, uh, than we did today in, in that timeframe.

[01:04:43.680 – 01:04:46.560] And you finish it off on, uh, 1st of April. [01:04:46.560 – 01:04:52.920] Um, politics, religion, and of course, we have to have whiskey in there. [01:04:52.920 – 01:04:54.300] Absolutely. [01:04:54.300 – 01:04:55.160] Absolutely. [01:04:55.160 – 01:04:57.300] All of the, uh, outside issues. [01:04:57.300 – 01:05:06.980] You know, the, the, uh, uh, everybody's mother and father taught them when they were young, you don't talk about in polite company, you know, politics and religion. [01:05:06.980 – 01:05:13.620] And, uh, Bill's, uh, uh, entrance into those things.

[01:05:13.620 – 01:05:17.340] And then a little bit on, on whiskey at the end. [01:05:17.340 – 01:05:19.820] So anyway, thank you. [01:05:19.820 – 01:05:21.259] Thank, thank you, Jim. [01:05:21.259 – 01:05:22.480] That was fantastic. [01:05:22.480 – 01:05:24.800] Just wanna let you know what's happening next week. [01:05:24.800 – 01:05:31.540] We have Jay S. coming back to us next week, and Jay is gonna do a presentation on whatever happened to the Oxford Group. [01:05:31.540 – 01:05:39.940] And Jay will also give us an update on his upcoming, uh, book on Bill W., uh, the book project that, uh, Bill's been, or Jay has been writing on.

[01:05:39.940 – 01:05:43.740] And, um, let me just see what else we have coming up. [01:05:43.740 – 01:05:45.810] The Patrick O'Donnell, who's here tonight. [01:05:45.810 – 01:05:51.740] Patrick, Patrick is doing a talk with recovery speakers on Tuesday night at the history meeting there on Samuel M. [01:05:51.740 – 01:05:57.580] S., um, one of God's non-alcoholic hands in forming Alcoholics Anonymous. [01:05:57.580 – 01:06:07.620] And Patrick will also be doing March 15th, I believe, as well on, um, Pat- Richmond W., I believe, on March 15th, but I don't have the flier on the slide for that quite [01:06:07.620 – 01:06:07.900] yet. [01:06:07.900 – 01:06:11.520] Uh, if you want more details on these, um, but I'll ju- will mention this one.

[01:06:11.520 – 01:06:13.780] Um, this is tomorrow. [01:06:13.780 – 01:06:16.100] Chip of a Book H. Seminar. [01:06:16.100 – 01:06:17.100] This looks fantastic. [01:06:17.100 – 01:06:22.020] Saturday, February 26th, 9:30 AM on the East C., and 2:30 in the UK. [01:06:22.020 – 01:06:30.060] Bill S. of Writing the Big Book: The Creation of A is gonna do a presentation on chapters one and two of, uh, the Big Book of AA. [01:06:30.060 – 01:06:32.240] And he's gonna be taking questions on that as well. [01:06:32.240 – 01:06:33.610] And as you can see, Drew H.

[01:06:33.610 – 01:06:35.740] is gonna be there on The Big Book G. to Print. [01:06:35.740 – 01:06:36.800] Tom R. [01:06:36.800 – 01:06:39.140] is gonna be doing a, a, on chapter 11, A Vision F. Us. [01:06:39.140 – 01:06:42.080] And we're gonna finish it off with our basic text, S. J. [01:06:42.080 – 01:06:42.470] Aurora. [01:06:42.470 – 01:06:46.260] If you want more information on them, please drop me a message and I will pass them on to you. [01:06:46.260 – 01:06:49.740] I see there's a lot of hands going up, Stuart, so I will turn the meeting over to you.

[01:06:49.740 – 01:06:51.880] Thank you very much. [01:06:51.880 – 01:06:53.740] Um, you know the drill, everyone. [01:06:53.740 – 01:07:01.200] If you wanna be part of the meeting, ask a question, then please raise your hand in the participant section and I will call on you. [01:07:01.200 – 01:07:04.840] Um, and we're gonna start off with Al in Virginia. [01:07:04.840 – 01:07:05.740] Hello, Al. [01:07:05.740 – 01:07:06.540] Hello. [01:07:06.540 – 01:07:07.440] Hello, everybody.

[01:07:07.440 – 01:07:10.640] That was absolutely fantastic. [01:07:10.640 – 01:07:13.660] I just can't tell you how much I enjoyed that. [01:07:13.660 – 01:07:15.020] I don't think you missed a beat. [01:07:15.020 – 01:07:19.240] You touched every aspect, and I was so interested the whole time. [01:07:19.240 – 01:07:20.680] I never lost my interest. [01:07:20.680 – 01:07:22.020] Wonderful. [01:07:22.020 – 01:07:28.840] Question that I have: Did B. W. ever meet in person Timothy L.?

[01:07:28.840 – 01:07:31.260] Not that I know of. [01:07:31.260 – 01:07:33.100] Not that I know of. [01:07:33.100 – 01:07:36.450] Uh, but, uh, you know, he may have. [01:07:36.450 – 01:07:42.680] But, uh, I, I know that the letter, you know, of in- introduction, uh, I think came from Aldous H.. [01:07:42.680 – 01:07:48.860] Um, but, uh, as far as them meeting, I don't think that they ever did meet. [01:07:48.860 – 01:07:51.640] And thank you for the, for the kind words. [01:07:51.640 – 01:07:53.400] Great.

[01:07:53.400 – 01:07:54.480] Thank you very much. [01:07:54.480 – 01:07:55.940] We're gonna go to Jimmy R. [01:07:55.940 – 01:07:56.240] now. [01:07:56.240 – 01:07:56.880] Hello, Jimmy. [01:07:56.880 – 01:07:57.440] Good evening. [01:07:57.440 – 01:08:00.100] Hey, Al. [01:08:00.100 – 01:08:00.720] My name's Jimmy.

[01:08:00.720 – 01:08:02.380] I'm a grateful recovered alcoholic. [01:08:02.380 – 01:08:05.100] Uh, Jim, fantastic presentation. [01:08:05.100 – 01:08:15.400] I, I noticed, uh, or I think I noticed, did it y- you have it up in print that the original Emotional S. letter was in 1953, then later published [01:08:15.400 – 01:08:17.700] in The Grapevine in 1958? [01:08:17.700 – 01:08:21.900] I- it was 1958. [01:08:21.900 – 01:08:27.040] I, uh, I, I, some, in some places it says 1953. [01:08:27.040 – 01:08:29.720] I think I corrected it online.

[01:08:29.720 – 01:08:34.960] Uh, maybe I didn't, but, uh, uh, it was in, uh, 1958. [01:08:34.960 – 01:08:40.920] So that's when it was originally written or published in The Grapevine? [01:08:40.920 – 01:08:41.420] Yes. [01:08:41.420 – 01:08:44.120] Yes, as far as I can figure. [01:08:44.120 – 01:08:50.240] Because I found the, uh, I've seen the 1953 date and, uh, checked into it. [01:08:50.240 – 01:08:57.620] And, uh, everything I find that says, shows that it was 1958. [01:08:57.620 – 01:08:59.620] Okay.

[01:08:59.620 – 01:08:59.980] Thank you. [01:08:59.980 – 01:09:01.760] Thank you very much. [01:09:01.760 – 01:09:02.040] Uh-huh. [01:09:02.040 – 01:09:03.700] We're gonna go to Anna M. [01:09:03.700 – 01:09:04.060] now. [01:09:04.060 – 01:09:04.620] Hello, Anna. [01:09:04.620 – 01:09:05.300] Good evening.

[01:09:05.300 – 01:09:07.140] Good evening, everybody. [01:09:07.140 – 01:09:10.400] Um, Jim, thank you so much for your presentation. [01:09:10.400 – 01:09:12.120] It was absolutely wonderful. [01:09:12.120 – 01:09:22.319] I was curious to know during, um, Bill's, uh, period of experimentation with LSD, what, where, oh, or [01:09:22.320 – 01:09:23.520] where did Dr. [01:09:23.520 – 01:09:25.330] Bob come in on all of that? [01:09:25.330 – 01:09:27.400] Was he, did he have opinions?

[01:09:27.400 – 01:09:29.980] Were there letters, uh, from Dr. [01:09:29.980 – 01:09:33.720] Bob mentioning whether he was pro or con to it? [01:09:33.720 – 01:09:37.000] Was there any letters from Akron members? [01:09:37.000 – 01:09:37.470] Um- [01:09:37.664 – 01:09:42.264] And their thoughts or feelings around, um, be- uh, Bill's behavior around this. [01:09:42.264 – 01:09:43.703] Um, I'm just curious. [01:09:43.703 – 01:09:44.184] Uh- Thank you.

[01:09:44.184 – 01:09:47.724] He, he did the, the LSD in 1956. [01:09:47.724 – 01:09:48.204] Dr. [01:09:48.204 – 01:09:50.604] Bob died in 1950. [01:09:50.604 – 01:09:52.664] Dr. [01:09:52.664 – 01:09:54.004] Bob was not around. [01:09:54.004 – 01:09:58.804] Okay, thank you very much. [01:09:58.804 – 01:10:00.504] We're gonna go to Lynn B now.

[01:10:00.504 – 01:10:01.104] Hello, Lynn. [01:10:01.104 – 01:10:01.744] Good evening. [01:10:01.744 – 01:10:05.484] Hey. [01:10:05.484 – 01:10:06.824] Sorry, that took me a second. [01:10:06.824 – 01:10:08.504] Hey, Lynn, alcoholic. [01:10:08.504 – 01:10:10.284] Um, thank you so much. [01:10:10.284 – 01:10:12.304] I enjoyed it so, so much.

[01:10:12.304 – 01:10:14.343] Um, another acid question. [01:10:14.343 – 01:10:24.384] Um, I was wondering, w- uh, you know, clearly he had reasons, uh, th- whether to help other alcoholics or to [01:10:24.384 – 01:10:29.264] get back some of that spiritual stuff, um, that feeling. [01:10:29.264 – 01:10:39.324] Um, uh, and he, it sounds like there were, from the notes, that there was some, some success and some change, some shift [01:10:39.324 – 01:10:40.264] in him. [01:10:40.264 – 01:10:48.424] I was wondering, w- are there s- are there notes about when he stopped and why, or when he phased out and why? [01:10:48.424 – 01:10:52.324] Um, because I, I don't think he continued till his death, correct?

[01:10:52.324 – 01:10:53.084] No. [01:10:53.084 – 01:10:56.604] Uh, it, it seems that it, uh… [01:10:56.604 – 01:11:06.404] One of the things that, uh, that, that I read, I think from Arthur S., says that, uh, you know, it stopped in 1959 or possibly up into the '60s. [01:11:06.404 – 01:11:16.524] Uh, I think '61 is, uh, about the latest date that I have seen anyone say that, uh, uh, [01:11:16.524 – 01:11:19.824] that, that he had, was still, uh, trying it. [01:11:19.824 – 01:11:28.784] And he, I mean, this wasn't a, you know, "Hey, let's go take a hit of acid every," you know, "every night," you know, or every weekend, you know? [01:11:28.784 – 01:11:30.664] It was not this, that sort of thing at all.

[01:11:30.664 – 01:11:40.784] And the other thing is that Bill, uh, Bill said in, uh, his autobiography, My F. 40 Years, he [01:11:40.784 – 01:11:46.664] says that, uh, in T. Hospital, he was subjected to the belladonna treatment. [01:11:46.664 – 01:11:49.904] And so he felt that… [01:11:49.904 – 01:11:54.044] And belladonna has hallucinogenic, uh, properties. [01:11:54.044 – 01:11:57.504] You know, I don't wanna get into all of that right now. [01:11:57.504 – 01:12:07.624] But, uh, you know, he says, uh, uh, "You know, I had it once, and maybe this can help me and/or more importantly other people, [01:12:07.624 – 01:12:15.104] uh, to find some kind of spiritual experience like I did in T.." Great.

[01:12:15.104 – 01:12:16.464] Thank you very much. [01:12:16.464 – 01:12:19.404] We're gonna go to Lars in New York now. [01:12:19.404 – 01:12:21.024] Hello, Lars. [01:12:21.024 – 01:12:21.504] Hello. [01:12:21.504 – 01:12:22.344] Thanks so much. [01:12:22.344 – 01:12:23.164] My name's Lars. [01:12:23.164 – 01:12:24.244] I'm an alcoholic.

[01:12:24.244 – 01:12:25.804] Thank you, team. [01:12:25.804 – 01:12:27.264] David, nice to see you. [01:12:27.264 – 01:12:31.204] And Jim, you know, thanks for a fabulous presentation. [01:12:31.204 – 01:12:36.864] I was thinking, I have a lot of questions, but a lot of it's being covered on the LSD. [01:12:36.864 – 01:12:38.464] But or just things to explore. [01:12:38.464 – 01:12:38.584] The… [01:12:38.584 – 01:12:41.084] One of them we could turn to the depression.

[01:12:41.084 – 01:12:43.814] And nice, I mean, obviously you cite the letter. [01:12:43.814 – 01:12:47.664] It's in Language of the Love, you know, on emotional sobriety. [01:12:47.664 – 01:12:48.964] Just trying to think, did he… [01:12:48.964 – 01:12:59.724] I mean, it suggests this easy cure for depression of the, you know, of his looking for the de- dependencies and, and breaking, you know, severing the dependencies. [01:12:59.724 – 01:13:07.664] But did he contin- With Bill W., I mean, did he have, um, did he continue to experience, uh, depression after that? [01:13:07.664 – 01:13:08.444] I don't know about that. [01:13:08.444 – 01:13:09.724] So he, the, a…

[01:13:09.724 – 01:13:15.624] That was ca- went in the grapevine in January '58, and he lives till seven, you know, until 70 or so. [01:13:15.624 – 01:13:19.824] And what was his depression like then, and did it, was it ongoing? [01:13:19.824 – 01:13:30.224] Was, were there other measures that were taken other than his, his sort of revelation that, r- regarding perfectionism that, that addressed his depression? [01:13:30.224 – 01:13:32.084] No. [01:13:32.084 – 01:13:42.544] And, and, uh, there aren't, uh, any mentions of the depression, uh, after 1958, [01:13:42.544 – 01:13:46.124] uh, that, uh, that, that I have found. [01:13:46.124 – 01:13:52.484] And, uh, that, uh, that, that, that just, it seems to have gotten better.

[01:13:52.484 – 01:14:02.544] Now, whether it was the, whether it was the shrinks or the, uh, what- whatever it was, uh, that helped him along, he seemed to have, uh, uh, [01:14:02.544 – 01:14:07.614] gotten, worked through it and gotten out of those, those serious periods of depression. [01:14:07.614 – 01:14:10.804] Great. [01:14:10.804 – 01:14:12.104] Thank you very much. [01:14:12.104 – 01:14:14.584] We're gonna go to John D. now. [01:14:14.584 – 01:14:15.284] Hello, John. [01:14:15.284 – 01:14:16.304] Good evening.

[01:14:16.304 – 01:14:16.684] Hi. [01:14:16.684 – 01:14:18.364] Uh, John, alcoholic here. [01:14:18.364 – 01:14:23.304] Uh, Jim, it's a pleasure to hear you, just not re- uh, reading your typing. [01:14:23.304 – 01:14:25.814] So, um- … [01:14:25.814 – 01:14:28.504] I, I enjoyed your presentation enormously. [01:14:28.504 – 01:14:31.304] It was, uh, just very well done. [01:14:31.304 – 01:14:41.344] And, you know, you touched on, um, an issue that has always been of interest to me, which is his curious relationship with his parents, p- specifically his

[01:14:41.344 – 01:14:41.664] mother. [01:14:41.664 – 01:14:50.744] Um, and, you know, by any way you would, you know, not just by a modern standard, by any standard, he was abandoned. [01:14:50.744 – 01:14:58.124] And so, uh, it's sort of fascinating, especially when he goes to Arlington and, um- [01:14:59.128 – 01:15:03.788] You know, later on for, uh, you know, to live with his sister and his mother again. [01:15:03.788 – 01:15:09.408] Um, you really do- I don't, I haven't been able to find materials about it at all. [01:15:09.408 – 01:15:20.008] And I was curious, 'cause you're such a, a scholar on the writings, if you've run anything and where he starts to talk about abandonment, or it just wasn't on his screens, [01:15:20.008 – 01:15:21.918] uh, per se.

[01:15:21.918 – 01:15:29.088] I, I don't think, and I, I haven't found anything where he talks specifically about abandonment issues. [01:15:29.088 – 01:15:31.348] I'm not sure anybody did. [01:15:31.348 – 01:15:36.268] I can never remember hearing the word until, you know, 20 years ago or something. [01:15:36.268 – 01:15:44.628] And, uh, but, uh, I, you know, it, I took Psychology 101, that's about as far as I got in college. [01:15:44.628 – 01:15:52.848] And, uh, but it sure sounds to me, uh, like, you know, his father and his mother, uh, left him at a very early age. [01:15:52.848 – 01:15:53.348] Right. [01:15:53.348 – 01:16:03.538] Uh, his best friend, his two best friends, Lois said he only had two best friends his whole life, and one was Mark W., who

[01:16:03.538 – 01:16:09.048] was older than him, and the other was Bob S., who was older than him. [01:16:09.048 – 01:16:12.728] He married a woman who was older than him. [01:16:12.728 – 01:16:13.348] Right. [01:16:13.348 – 01:16:19.268] You know, parent, mother, fa- mother and father issues. [01:16:19.268 – 01:16:19.728] I don't know. [01:16:19.728 – 01:16:20.468] I'm not a shrink. [01:16:20.468 – 01:16:21.268] I don't wanna…

[01:16:21.268 – 01:16:31.348] You know, but it sure makes me think, too, that, uh, y- you know, and we all have these, uh, these things that we get from our childhood, whether we realize them or know [01:16:31.348 – 01:16:32.248] about them or not. [01:16:32.248 – 01:16:39.748] And, uh, I, I think that some of these things could not but have affected him in one way or another. [01:16:39.748 – 01:16:43.468] I wonder if it was a Freudian slip or just a slip. [01:16:43.468 – 01:16:51.768] I heard Bill one time, uh, uh, in a, uh, in a talk, in a recording, and he, but it was a casual one. [01:16:51.768 – 01:17:01.928] It wasn't, uh, scripted, but of course, he always told his story wherever he went and, uh, even when, you know, nobody asked him to. [01:17:01.928 – 01:17:12.228] But, uh, anyway, he was talking, and he always gets to the one point in his story and, uh, where he says in, in T. Hospital, "If there is a God,

[01:17:12.228 – 01:17:14.538] show himself to me." Right. [01:17:14.538 – 01:17:24.768] You know, that's, he gets to that point, you know, right before his, uh, his hot flash, and he keeps saying, "If there is a God." And this time I was listening [01:17:24.768 – 01:17:29.068] to him, and he said, "If there is a Father… [01:17:29.068 – 01:17:36.368] If there is a God, let Him show Himself to me," but he started to say, "Father." Right. [01:17:36.368 – 01:17:41.748] Is, uh, so much for my Psychology 101, but interesting. [01:17:41.748 – 01:17:44.128] Thank you very much. [01:17:44.128 – 01:17:46.068] Thank you so much.

[01:17:46.068 – 01:17:46.568] Thank you. [01:17:46.568 – 01:17:47.138] Thank you, John. [01:17:47.138 – 01:17:48.048] We're gonna go to Je- Good to see you. [01:17:48.048 – 01:17:52.108] We're gonna go to Jerome in Montreal now. [01:17:52.108 – 01:17:53.248] Hello, Jerome. [01:17:53.248 – 01:17:53.848] Good evening. [01:17:53.848 – 01:17:56.308] Thank you.

[01:17:56.308 – 01:17:57.808] Uh, Jerome, alcoholic. [01:17:57.808 – 01:18:02.108] Jim, thank you so much for a amazing presentation. [01:18:02.108 – 01:18:07.878] I'm, I'm touched by, uh, the way you presented Bill. [01:18:07.878 – 01:18:09.688] My question is very precise. [01:18:09.688 – 01:18:14.588] You talked about a letter of A- Adolf Ox- Huxley to Thomas M.. [01:18:14.588 – 01:18:17.848] Did T. Merton write back? [01:18:17.848 – 01:18:19.548] Did he give an answer?

[01:18:19.548 – 01:18:26.108] The, the letter was from, uh, I, I think it was from Huxley to Thomas M.. [01:18:26.108 – 01:18:31.228] And I don't know any more about that, uh, about that letter. [01:18:31.228 – 01:18:41.428] I can research it, but, uh, that, that was in, that's was in the book, um, Distilled S., uh, by, if I remember right. [01:18:41.428 – 01:18:50.088] Uh, Distilled S- I, I, you know, it's by either Distilled S. or the book, uh, or a writing by, uh, by Bob K.. [01:18:50.088 – 01:18:52.748] I can't remember, uh, where I had that. [01:18:52.748 – 01:19:02.788] I, I have it, I have everything sourced on the pages, but, uh, uh, I don't remember where that came from, uh, exactly, and I don't know the rest of the letter [01:19:02.788 – 01:19:03.808] or the history of it.

[01:19:03.808 – 01:19:06.288] But, uh, it's an in- it would be interesting. [01:19:06.288 – 01:19:11.468] I mean, Thomas M., uh, I mean, I learned about him, you know, as a good Catholic boy. [01:19:11.468 – 01:19:14.208] I learned about him, uh, you know, when I was young. [01:19:14.208 – 01:19:19.548] Seven S. Mountain and, uh, No M. is an Island, and, uh, you know. [01:19:19.548 – 01:19:29.688] But all of these things, and, and, uh, you know, if you get, uh, Patrick, uh, talking about, uh, some of these people, they, they all hung around [01:19:29.688 – 01:19:31.448] together and they all knew each other. [01:19:31.448 – 01:19:34.328] Well, it was a team of some of these seekers.

[01:19:34.328 – 01:19:44.348] You know, all of these people that were into spirituality and, and, uh, and, and, uh, and, and trying new things and, uh, [01:19:44.348 – 01:19:54.408] they were all in connection with, with each other too, and knew each other either, uh, personally or through other people, and they were reading [01:19:54.408 – 01:19:57.678] each other's books and, and, uh, and everything else. [01:19:57.678 – 01:20:00.968] So there was a lot of interconnection there, too. [01:20:00.968 – 01:20:02.468] I think I got off on a tangent. [01:20:02.468 – 01:20:05.228] Thank you very much. [01:20:05.228 – 01:20:07.088] We're gonna go to Ross now.

[01:20:07.088 – 01:20:07.728] Hello, Ross. [01:20:07.728 – 01:20:08.317] Good evening. [01:20:08.317 – 01:20:13.868] You can unmute, Ross. [01:20:13.868 – 01:20:14.308] There we go. [01:20:14.308 – 01:20:15.058] Hi. [01:20:15.058 – 01:20:15.228] Yeah. [01:20:15.228 – 01:20:19.088] Hi, my name is Ross, and I'm an alcoholic from Denver.

[01:20:19.088 – 01:20:20.158] Uh, thank you, Jim [01:20:20.352 – 01:20:27.002] And, and, uh, my question I guess is a follow-up from the last one on, uh, o- on Bill's correspondence with Merton. [01:20:27.002 – 01:20:34.112] Do you know if this was after, uh, he was taking religious instructions with, uh, Fulton S.? [01:20:34.112 – 01:20:36.452] And, uh- Uh, no … [01:20:36.452 – 01:20:37.072] and do you know… [01:20:37.072 – 01:20:38.672] Go ahead. [01:20:38.672 – 01:20:39.042] I'm sorry.

[01:20:39.042 – 01:20:44.272] That was, uh, I believe later. [01:20:44.272 – 01:20:48.232] I get into that in, uh, in, uh, in part two. [01:20:48.232 – 01:20:54.512] Uh, his, his religious or part three actually. [01:20:54.512 – 01:20:57.492] A real instruction with, uh, uh, with him. [01:20:57.492 – 01:20:59.502] But no, in fact- Mm-hmm … [01:20:59.502 – 01:21:01.552] I, I'm thinking that that is… [01:21:01.552 – 01:21:03.612] I, I, I ha- I would have to look it up.

[01:21:03.612 – 01:21:06.592] I don't have it right off the, uh, off the top of my head. [01:21:06.592 – 01:21:07.812] Right. [01:21:07.812 – 01:21:10.192] Okay. [01:21:10.192 – 01:21:10.781] Thank you very much. [01:21:10.781 – 01:21:11.432] Thank you, Jim. [01:21:11.432 – 01:21:13.652] Thank you so much. [01:21:13.652 – 01:21:23.652] We're gonna go to Hugh- I wa- I wanna make a comment here, uh, to, to everyone who, uh, who, who thinks, uh, who, uh, thinks how wonderful

[01:21:23.652 – 01:21:27.252] I am and, and, uh, how I have all this information. [01:21:27.252 – 01:21:30.272] I'm a copy and paste guy, you know? [01:21:30.272 – 01:21:30.812] Okay. [01:21:30.812 – 01:21:35.432] I, I don't have much of a life, so I spend a lot of time going down rabbit holes. [01:21:35.432 – 01:21:42.152] But, um, I do, uh, I stand on the shoulders, seriously, of giants. [01:21:42.152 – 01:21:52.192] Every virtual- virtually everything that I read today, and there's a lot more, I have about 80 slides from today's presentation that were hidden [01:21:52.192 – 01:21:53.492] just because of the time.

[01:21:53.492 – 01:22:03.532] Uh, uh, but I, I get this information from historians, from reading, and, and, uh, I get this from other people who [01:22:03.532 – 01:22:13.592] have done most of the work, and I try to put it together in some kind of, uh, a coherent and, uh, uh, way so that it will be [01:22:13.592 – 01:22:14.152] interesting. [01:22:14.152 – 01:22:18.352] So anyway, I just wanted to make that, uh, make that. [01:22:18.352 – 01:22:23.872] I, uh, only the, only the, uh, funny ad libs that I do from time to time are my own. [01:22:23.872 – 01:22:27.032] That's great. [01:22:27.032 – 01:22:27.872] Thank you.

[01:22:27.872 – 01:22:29.882] We're gonna go to Hugh H. [01:22:29.882 – 01:22:30.252] now. [01:22:30.252 – 01:22:31.132] Hello, Hugh. [01:22:31.132 – 01:22:33.312] Hello, everyone. [01:22:33.312 – 01:22:34.732] I'm an alcoholic. [01:22:34.732 – 01:22:35.972] My name is Hugh H.. [01:22:35.972 – 01:22:39.292] That was a great presentation.

[01:22:39.292 – 01:22:41.392] It was entrancing. [01:22:41.392 – 01:22:42.772] Um, I… [01:22:42.772 – 01:22:52.772] There were a lot of facts in there that I already knew, but to see them strung together that and get the pic- the portrait of the, of Bill [01:22:52.772 – 01:22:55.162] W. as a human, as a human being. [01:22:55.162 – 01:23:02.672] Now, I recently came across that pedestal letter on my own, and I was just so, you know, I found it so inspiring. [01:23:02.672 – 01:23:02.972] What… [01:23:02.972 – 01:23:09.372] I, I hope to get to some point in my life where I can react that way.

[01:23:09.372 – 01:23:15.532] I know he didn't react that way probably at first, but he wrote a good letter out of it in any case. [01:23:15.532 – 01:23:22.892] Uh, my question really has something to do with, uh, has to do with something that you didn't really talk about today. [01:23:22.892 – 01:23:29.372] I know Lois was raised as a Swedenborgian in New York City. [01:23:29.372 – 01:23:38.712] I'm a Swedenborgian, and I've had arguments with other members of our church, churches, multiple. [01:23:38.712 – 01:23:47.532] Um, many people claim that he was influenced by Swedenborg, um, that both of them were. [01:23:47.532 – 01:23:51.532] I've always argued that he wasn't. [01:23:51.532 – 01:23:54.352] If he was, it was very, very minimal.

[01:23:54.352 – 01:24:01.232] Do you have any comment on to what extent he might have been influenced by Swedenborgianism? [01:24:01.232 – 01:24:09.572] I, I think, uh, I, I would probably agree with you to the extent that I think he was influenced possibly indirectly. [01:24:09.572 – 01:24:12.552] But like you said, uh, she was Swedenborgian. [01:24:12.552 – 01:24:23.102] They were married in Swedenborgian C., uh, by the, by her Swedenborgian grandfather and, and, uh, William J., [01:24:23.102 – 01:24:24.272] uh, Swedenborgian. [01:24:24.272 – 01:24:34.272] Uh, there's all kinds of Swedenborgian threads that run through the story, and I think that a lot of that spirituality, uh, [01:24:34.272 – 01:24:38.512] probably, you know, I'm guessing, you know.

[01:24:38.512 – 01:24:48.632] Uh, I, I don't think he, uh, could have helped but be, be, uh, affected by at least indirectly by that, that kind of, that spirituality. [01:24:48.632 – 01:24:58.732] If not, probably not the, uh, the beliefs, you know, a lot of the, some of the specific beliefs, but by the philosophy and [01:24:58.732 – 01:25:05.612] spirituality, uh, of it as a, to a certain extent, as part of the New Thought movement. [01:25:05.612 – 01:25:06.822] Right. [01:25:06.822 – 01:25:16.952] A friend of mine, Jim L. in San Francisco, got to meet Lois, and he's a Swedenborgian minister, and he asked her to what extent Swedenborg might [01:25:16.952 – 01:25:19.212] have influenced either of them. [01:25:19.212 – 01:25:23.992] And she said, "You don't really expect me to answer that, do you?

[01:25:23.992 – 01:25:30.442] Even if I had something to say, I wouldn't say it." C- could I just put up something about the Swedenborg? [01:25:30.442 – 01:25:31.062] Thank you. [01:25:31.062 – 01:25:31.372] Jim, sorry. [01:25:31.372 – 01:25:33.972] Could you just mention something about the Swedenborg just for information? [01:25:33.972 – 01:25:36.772] Um, is this, is this what you mean when you speak about Swedenborg? [01:25:36.772 – 01:25:38.812] I put up Swedenborg F.. [01:25:38.812 – 01:25:38.902] Yeah.

[01:25:38.902 – 01:25:38.903] Yeah. [01:25:38.903 – 01:25:39.252] Is that it? [01:25:39.252 – 01:25:41.392] Yes. [01:25:41.756 – 01:25:42.096] Okay. [01:25:42.096 – 01:25:43.696] Interesting. [01:25:43.696 – 01:25:44.296] Thank you very much. [01:25:44.296 – 01:25:44.636] Thank you.

[01:25:44.636 – 01:25:48.316] Yeah, Emanuel S. and, uh, and, uh- This one? [01:25:48.316 – 01:25:49.376] Mm-hmm. [01:25:49.376 – 01:25:50.856] Okay. [01:25:50.856 – 01:25:51.335] Thanks, Jim. [01:25:51.335 – 01:25:55.436] He lived in the, he lived in the, uh, 18th century mostly. [01:25:55.436 – 01:25:57.236] Right. [01:25:57.236 – 01:25:57.576] Brilliant.

[01:25:57.576 – 01:25:57.936] Thank you. [01:25:57.936 – 01:25:59.736] Great. [01:25:59.736 – 01:26:01.236] Let's keep going. [01:26:01.236 – 01:26:03.536] Um, we're gonna go to Jay D. now. [01:26:03.536 – 01:26:04.916] Hello J., Jay D.. [01:26:04.916 – 01:26:05.596] Good evening. [01:26:05.596 – 01:26:08.976] Good evening.

[01:26:08.976 – 01:26:10.856] Jay D., alcoholic. [01:26:10.856 – 01:26:12.826] That was an amazing presentation. [01:26:12.826 – 01:26:15.176] You had my attention the whole time. [01:26:15.176 – 01:26:16.716] I can't wait for part two. [01:26:16.716 – 01:26:18.206] Thank you so much. [01:26:18.206 – 01:26:20.396] Quick, cute little question. [01:26:20.396 – 01:26:22.736] Do we know if Bill quit smoking?

[01:26:22.736 – 01:26:32.736] I know that he got a little, uh, inspired there under the influence, and he, he probably had a vision, "Hey, this isn't good for me." [01:26:32.736 – 01:26:34.976] And I know that he died because of… [01:26:34.976 – 01:26:40.016] well, he had emphysema in the end, but did he quit smoking after that experience? [01:26:40.016 – 01:26:40.736] Thanks. [01:26:40.736 – 01:26:47.196] It only lasted an hour, if I remember right from the notes that, uh, uh, Herb took. [01:26:47.196 – 01:26:49.156] He says, uh, "Oh, I don't have… [01:26:49.156 – 01:26:53.836] I don't need a cigarette anymore." And then about an hour later he said- …

[01:26:53.836 – 01:26:57.476] "I need a cigarette." You know, so, so it lasted about an hour. [01:26:57.476 – 01:27:01.216] Bill, uh, smoked until, I don't know, the day he died. [01:27:01.216 – 01:27:11.276] But, uh, uh, he, he, he would take his oxygen, highly flammable oxygen, you know, and he would take it out so [01:27:11.276 – 01:27:12.196] that he could smoke. [01:27:12.196 – 01:27:13.196] You know? [01:27:13.196 – 01:27:22.576] He would, he would stop taking his oxygen so that he could smoke and, uh, you know, denial. [01:27:22.576 – 01:27:25.736] Well, that's another…

[01:27:25.736 – 01:27:29.376] I guess we're talking about outside issues, so I guess that's no. [01:27:29.376 – 01:27:34.656] But, uh, uh, anyway, yeah, he never did stop smoking, no. [01:27:34.656 – 01:27:37.136] Thank you. [01:27:37.136 – 01:27:39.256] We're gonna go to Gloria C now. [01:27:39.256 – 01:27:40.416] Good evening, Gloria. [01:27:40.416 – 01:27:41.876] Hi. [01:27:41.876 – 01:27:43.656] Uh, Gloria, alcoholic.

[01:27:43.656 – 01:27:45.036] I'm from Pennsylvania. [01:27:45.036 – 01:27:48.036] And, uh, my question, Jim… [01:27:48.036 – 01:27:49.936] Uh, first of all, Jim, that was great. [01:27:49.936 – 01:27:57.576] It was easy listening and, uh, I didn't miss- you didn't miss a beat and I didn't miss a minute, so I appreciate it. [01:27:57.576 – 01:28:06.076] Uh, 1956 you gave as the date that Marty M. was, uh, trying LSD in New York City. [01:28:06.076 – 01:28:07.816] Um, how did this… [01:28:07.816 – 01:28:13.296] uh, did it coincide with her slip, which I think was in the middle '50s?

[01:28:13.296 – 01:28:16.396] Or, you know, how does this… [01:28:16.396 – 01:28:18.796] I mean, was there any relationship whatsoever? [01:28:18.796 – 01:28:20.656] I don't know. [01:28:20.656 – 01:28:22.496] I, I, uh, I don't know. [01:28:22.496 – 01:28:25.136] I would have to, uh, cross-reference that. [01:28:25.136 – 01:28:27.536] Uh, but that's a good question. [01:28:27.536 – 01:28:29.216] That's a good question.

[01:28:29.216 – 01:28:32.676] Now you've got me going down another rabbit hole. [01:28:32.676 – 01:28:35.215] Uh, I, I love doing it. [01:28:35.215 – 01:28:36.316] I love doing it. [01:28:36.316 – 01:28:37.076] But it isn't it. [01:28:37.076 – 01:28:37.596] That is. [01:28:37.596 – 01:28:39.456] No, that's when she did, and it's, uh… [01:28:39.456 – 01:28:41.516] So, so it would be interesting to know.

[01:28:41.516 – 01:28:45.216] I will, uh, I, I will go down that rabbit hole. [01:28:45.216 – 01:28:46.336] Glad to see you, Gloria. [01:28:46.336 – 01:28:47.076] Thank you very much. [01:28:47.076 – 01:28:48.276] Oh, it's a pleasure. [01:28:48.276 – 01:28:49.316] Thank you so much. [01:28:49.316 – 01:28:50.456] And thank you, David. [01:28:50.456 – 01:28:51.896] Thank you.

[01:28:51.896 – 01:28:55.656] We're now gonna go f- finally to Bert L. [01:28:55.656 – 01:28:58.396] in New York City. [01:28:58.396 – 01:28:58.996] Hello, Bert. [01:28:58.996 – 01:29:01.176] Good evening, fam. [01:29:01.176 – 01:29:01.716] My name is Bert. [01:29:01.716 – 01:29:03.066] I'm grateful and alcoholic. [01:29:03.066 – 01:29:10.596] And all I wanna say, Jim, is thank you for your, for your res- for your research and presenting this.

[01:29:10.596 – 01:29:20.736] Whether you, you copied and pasted it or whatever you did, it does require some work, and so I'm thanking you for that, man. [01:29:20.736 – 01:29:23.236] So, you know, that's it. [01:29:23.236 – 01:29:24.196] You know what I mean? [01:29:24.196 – 01:29:25.416] Okay. [01:29:25.416 – 01:29:33.596] So peace and blessings, my brother, and I'm looking forward for the second part, especially the sex- Bert, no spoilers … [01:29:33.596 – 01:29:34.896] never mind, never mind, never mind. [01:29:34.896 – 01:29:36.056] I'm not gonna say no more.

[01:29:36.056 – 01:29:38.136] Thank you, Bert. [01:29:38.136 – 01:29:39.436] Thank you, Bert. [01:29:39.436 – 01:29:46.256] I ain't gonna say no more. [01:29:46.256 – 01:29:49.936] If I was a boy, I'd be having like a boy, Bert. [01:29:49.936 – 01:29:51.516] Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:29:51.516 – 01:29:51.546] Don't… [01:29:51.546 – 01:29:51.547] nah, nah, nah.

[01:29:51.547 – 01:29:52.936] David, you know what, man. [01:29:52.936 – 01:29:54.526] Okay. [01:29:54.526 – 01:29:55.956] You'll get me into trouble with Stuart. [01:29:55.956 – 01:29:57.016] Stuart, come on. [01:29:57.016 – 01:29:59.276] Okay. [01:29:59.276 – 01:30:03.176] We're, um, we, we, we've got one last person. [01:30:03.176 – 01:30:07.136] So, um, Jenny M.

[01:30:07.136 – 01:30:08.196] Hello, Jenny. [01:30:08.196 – 01:30:08.856] Good evening. [01:30:08.856 – 01:30:09.876] Hi. [01:30:09.876 – 01:30:12.696] I just wanted to ask, first of all, thank you so much. [01:30:12.696 – 01:30:13.796] That was fabulous. [01:30:13.796 – 01:30:20.836] Is there a website or an email list where I could get all these flyers so I don't miss any of these coming up? [01:30:20.836 – 01:30:22.586] I just happen to- Usually.

[01:30:22.586 – 01:30:22.956] I- Yeah … [01:30:22.956 – 01:30:23.676] or something. [01:30:23.676 – 01:30:24.076] Thank you. [01:30:24.076 – 01:30:26.536] I will put my email in the chat if you send me an email. [01:30:26.536 – 01:30:27.196] Thank you, Jenny. [01:30:27.196 – 01:30:27.966] Thank you. [01:30:27.966 – 01:30:28.716] I will do that for you.

[01:30:28.716 – 01:30:29.476] Thanks. [01:30:29.476 – 01:30:29.976] Thanks very much. [01:30:29.976 – 01:30:30.696] All right. [01:30:30.696 – 01:30:31.916] Well, I think we're done now. [01:30:31.916 – 01:30:36.576] We've done, we've done a good 30 minutes of questions, so I'm handing the meeting back to you, David. [01:30:36.576 – 01:30:37.096] Fantastic. [01:30:37.096 – 01:30:37.516] Thank you.

[01:30:37.516 – 01:30:38.956] Jenny, remind me of that in one second. [01:30:38.956 – 01:30:42.996] I'm just gonna go, go back up and tell you what's coming up again, just, just to finish off. [01:30:42.996 – 01:30:49.036] Um, obviously we were talking about this, part two, 11th of March, and you can see what's going on there. [01:30:49.036 – 01:30:52.256] Smoking, transcendental meditation, sex, vitamins. [01:30:52.256 – 01:30:57.036] And then part three will go on the 1st of April, um, politics, religion, and whiskey. [01:30:57.036 – 01:30:59.056] Okay. [01:30:59.056 – 01:30:59.835] I'm gonna go.

[01:30:59.835 – 01:31:02.866] Jim, we're gonna go back to you shortly to close, uh, with a, with a prayer of your choice. [01:31:02.992 – 01:31:04.352] it's just to, just to remind you of that. [01:31:04.352 – 01:31:06.022] Uh, Growing and Understanding A.A. [01:31:06.022 – 01:31:16.202] Group meets every Thursday, a reading resume meeting that is, and, um, coming up this, uh, coming Thursday, chapter 12, uh, we're on, The Alcoholic Foundation, [01:31:16.202 – 01:31:17.892] and we're into August 1938. [01:31:17.892 – 01:31:20.472] And we have lovely, uh, Riley K. [01:31:20.472 – 01:31:23.532] Ori- out of Oregon, gonna read, do the reading for us.

[01:31:23.532 – 01:31:27.432] And the footnotes are gonna be read by Bill L., who's also out of Oregon. [01:31:27.432 – 01:31:33.072] And that's at 7:30 PM in London, and 2:30 on the East C. in New York. [01:31:33.072 – 01:31:44.272] And the ID for anyone who happens to get to listen to this, 891-7799-2594, and the password is all capital WTBB. [01:31:44.272 – 01:31:48.632] And that's talking about the setting up the foundation of Alcoholics Anonymous. [01:31:48.632 – 01:31:55.402] Now, Patrick O'D is involved in a group here, I just wanna mention quickly this one, an international group Patrick's involved with. [01:31:55.402 – 01:31:56.712] There is a Solution, it's titled. [01:31:56.712 – 01:32:03.352] And it's a step cycle, different lead each week, with 20 minutes of lead experience with a particular step by step discussion.

[01:32:03.352 – 01:32:11.852] And next week we have, uh, Jay S. coming back to us, and Jay's gonna do a talk on whatever happened to the Oxford Group. [01:32:11.852 – 01:32:16.972] And Jay's gonna also give us an update on his upcoming, uh, book project, Bill W.. [01:32:16.972 – 01:32:19.652] Okay. [01:32:19.652 – 01:32:21.811] Um, of course we finish with this, I guess. [01:32:21.811 – 01:32:23.782] Uh, recovery speakers next Tuesday night. [01:32:23.782 – 01:32:28.082] Uh, Patrick O'D is gonna do a talk on a presentation on Samuel M. [01:32:28.082 – 01:32:32.832] S., one of God's non-alcoholic hands in forming Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:32:32.832 – 01:32:38.972] And Patrick's gonna follow that up on the 15th with Richmond, a talk on Richmond W., presentation on Richmond W.. [01:32:38.972 – 01:32:40.712] Jim, shall we go back to you? [01:32:40.712 – 01:32:42.052] Jim, that was just formidable, boy. [01:32:42.052 – 01:32:43.552] That was fantastic. [01:32:43.552 – 01:32:46.992] Jim, we'll go back to you to close with maybe some reflection and maybe a prayer as well. [01:32:46.992 – 01:32:48.112] Up to you, over to you, Jim. [01:32:48.112 – 01:32:49.392] All right.

[01:32:49.392 – 01:32:49.912] Thank you. [01:32:49.912 – 01:32:55.192] Uh, somebody had a question there that- Oh … [01:32:55.192 – 01:32:58.092] uh, uh, uh, uh, Bill, Bill grew up, uh, the… [01:32:58.092 – 01:33:00.722] Just real quickly, the, where did Bill grow up? [01:33:00.722 – 01:33:05.032] He grew up in, uh, in Vermont, in, uh, in East D., Vermont. [01:33:05.032 – 01:33:07.312] Uh, that's where he spent… [01:33:07.312 – 01:33:16.771] Uh, and we may be doing, uh, David has told me that we may be doing a, uh, early part of his life, uh, on some special day.

[01:33:16.771 – 01:33:18.322] I, I, I forget what day. [01:33:18.322 – 01:33:20.172] Founder's Day or something. [01:33:20.172 – 01:33:21.952] Didn't you say- That's right. [01:33:21.952 – 01:33:21.982] That's right. [01:33:21.982 – 01:33:22.812] Yes, yes, Jim. [01:33:22.812 – 01:33:23.412] Getting a good… [01:33:23.412 – 01:33:24.692] That seed starting to take root.

[01:33:24.692 – 01:33:26.112] The grass, new soil, Jim. [01:33:26.112 – 01:33:26.652] I like that. [01:33:26.652 – 01:33:27.212] I like it. [01:33:27.212 – 01:33:30.232] Anyway. [01:33:30.232 – 01:33:30.952] All right. [01:33:30.952 – 01:33:33.772] Uh, thank you all for being here, uh, and letting me share. [01:33:33.772 – 01:33:42.672] I do enjoy sharing, and studying, and, and, uh, and collecting, uh, AA history and, uh, and sharing it.

[01:33:42.672 – 01:33:52.872] It gives me a feeling of, of belonging, not only to, uh, to AA today, but, but knowing that, uh, there's nothing [01:33:52.872 – 01:33:53.752] new under the sun. [01:33:53.752 – 01:33:55.072] You know? [01:33:55.072 – 01:34:00.972] It's, uh, people getting together to stay sober and sharing experience, strength, and hope with each other. [01:34:00.972 – 01:34:04.792] And, uh, so thank you for letting me share. [01:34:04.792 – 01:34:09.192] And, uh, I am going to, uh, close with, uh… [01:34:09.192 – 01:34:16.232] We talked about, a little bit about Bill's belief, uh, but, uh, I, I like to close with this prayer.

[01:34:16.232 – 01:34:26.272] Let's, uh, let's just take a moment of silence and, uh, and, and then we'll close with Bill's morning prayer [01:34:26.272 – 01:34:34.152] that he and Lois used to, uh, say in the morning at Stepping S.. [01:34:34.152 – 01:34:42.992] And Bill's morning prayer says, "Oh L., we thank thee that thou art, that we are, from everlasting to everlasting. [01:34:42.992 – 01:34:49.572] Blessed be thy holy name and all thy benefactions to us of light, of love, and of service. [01:34:49.572 – 01:34:54.052] May we find and do thy will in good strength and good cheer today. [01:34:54.052 – 01:35:04.052] May thy ever-present grace be discovered by family and friends, those here and those beyond, by our societies throughout the world, by men [01:35:04.052 – 01:35:08.332] and women everywhere, and among those who must lead in these troubled times.

[01:35:08.332 – 01:35:15.712] Oh L., we know thee to be all wonder, all beauty, all glory, all power, all love. [01:35:15.712 – 01:35:18.692] Indeed, thou art everlasting love. [01:35:18.692 – 01:35:29.312] Accordingly, thou hast fashioned for us a destiny, passing through thy many mansions, ever in more discovery of thee, and in no separation between ourselves. [01:35:29.312 – 01:35:37.972] For all these great wonders, benefactions, and assurances, we now raise hearts and minds to thee, oh Father of lights. [01:35:37.972 – 01:35:43.192] We are filled with gratitude that shall be timeless." Amen. [01:35:43.192 – 01:35:44.352] Jim, that's so wonderful. [01:35:44.352 – 01:35:45.012] Thank you.

[01:35:45.012 – 01:35:46.832] If you'd like to unmute for one more time. [01:35:46.832 – 01:35:47.532] Thank you, everyone. [01:35:47.532 – 01:35:48.252] Let me… [01:35:48.252 – 01:35:48.322] Well done. [01:35:48.322 – 01:35:48.323] Yeah. [01:35:48.323 – 01:35:49.112] Thanks again, Jim. [01:35:49.112 – 01:35:49.502] Appreciate it.

[01:35:49.502 – 01:35:49.602] Thanks. [01:35:49.602 – 01:35:50.072] Thanks, Jim. [01:35:50.072 – 01:35:50.202] Thanks, Jim. [01:35:50.202 – 01:35:51.511] Thank you, Jim. [01:35:51.511 – 01:35:53.002] Excellent. [01:35:53.002 – 01:35:53.571] Yay. [01:35:53.571 – 01:35:54.802] Terrific.

[01:35:54.802 – 01:35:55.872] Thank you. [01:35:55.872 – 01:35:56.772] Thanks, Jim. [01:35:56.772 – 01:35:57.572] Thank you. [01:35:57.572 – 01:35:58.392] Thanks, Dave. [01:35:58.392 – 01:35:59.152] Thank you. [01:35:59.152 – 01:35:59.752] Well done, folks. [01:35:59.752 – 01:36:00.722] Thanks, David.

[01:36:00.722 – 01:36:00.802] Thanks, Susan. [01:36:00.802 – 01:36:01.612] Thank you, David. [01:36:01.612 – 01:36:03.782] Peace and blessings. [01:36:03.782 – 01:36:04.402] Peace and blessings, y'all. [01:36:04.402 – 01:36:04.952] Fantastic, Jim. [01:36:04.952 – 01:36:05.712] Thank you. [01:36:05.712 – 01:36:06.892] Thank you so much.

[01:36:06.892 – 01:36:07.852] Oh, Susan. [01:36:07.852 – 01:36:09.172] Susan, good to see you. [01:36:09.172 – 01:36:09.522] Memorable. [01:36:09.522 – 01:36:09.712] Thank you. [01:36:09.712 – 01:36:10.712] Glad you made it. [01:36:10.712 – 01:36:12.262] Thank you, Dave. [01:36:12.262 – 01:36:12.263] Thanks, David.

[01:36:12.263 – 01:36:12.264] Thank you. [01:36:12.264 – 01:36:20.242] I'm so sick with COVID, but I had, I had to, I had to live just to hear you go through that. [01:36:20.242 – 01:36:20.302] Amazing. [01:36:20.302 – 01:36:21.692] That was amazing. [01:36:21.692 – 01:36:23.522] Amazing