Audio
Transcript
Source: 1985 Montreal International Convention – Unknown Speaker – OUR PRIMARY PURPOSE – RS 06305.mp3 File: 1985-montreal-international-convention-unknown-speaker-our-primary-purpose-rs-06305.mp3 Duration: 00:36:11
============================================================
Tolerance is because of the evolutionary changes that are taking place. Nowadays, we hear so much about the violence on television. When I was a teenager, we never had that problem, simply because there was no television. But we have learned to accept it. And it's the same thing with a lot of these other things. Growing up, and I know that marijuana, for instance, grows wild in North Dakota. We didn't know you could smoke it. They used it for binder twine. If we knew you could use it, we'd have probably used it. The reason I was, quote, a pure alcoholic is I never knew that there was anything else, believe me. And so that's why we have to keep open-mindedness and love and tolerance of all these things, because we are living in a changing world. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm Joe Mulligan. I'm an alcoholic from Gary, Indiana. And I'm a pure alcoholic, and I was very intolerant at one time. I was raised in a family, my father was in AA. And I forgot a lot of things that I saw and I heard around my home until I read an article in the Grapevine called, A Kid with a Strawberry Hair. I don't believe that some of us that have been around a while remember about the goofballs and the yellow jackets and the blues that the people took in the 50s and the 40s, the people that were coming to AA. I remember that because my father talked about it. But I read that article and I became a little more tolerant of dual-addicted people. But one thing that I think that has to be clarified is the difference between a drug addict and a drug abuser, an alcoholic and an alcoholic abuser, an alcohol abuser. We have a lot of people in this program who were never addicted to drugs, but were abusers and users of drugs. And we seem to turn them away, too. I don't believe that we are an N.A. branch or that we could ever combine with N.A. in one meeting closed because I don't understand what they're talking about. Their addiction and my addiction are different. But if a person is a drug addict and an alcoholic, they belong in AA. But I cannot relate and I cannot help them with their narcotics problem. Thank you.
Hi, my name is Lynn. I'm an alcoholic. I'd also like to add that I'm 19 years old, just to show that this program doesn't have any age. Diane, when you were speaking, the emotion that came up with that was incredible because I really related to that. And I guess it's too late to impress anybody with my wonderful four-letter words. When I came into this program, I heard seven words. They were the only seven words that I heard. And they were, I love you just because you're you. And I'm also a drug addict. I'm an ice cream addict. I have an addictive personality. Alcohol, I suffered from and it took me places that I don't ever want to go to again. But the 12 steps of this program and the love in this program and the fellowship showed me how to live. I could have problems at work and relate back to something in the program to help me through that also. There are people, normal non-alcoholic non, drug addict non, whatever out there, that could, you know, a lot of people that could probably use this program anyways. It's not just to stay, you know, it shows you how to stop drinking. But not only that, it shows you how to live. I didn't know how to live and I do now. You know, and when I came into this program, I remember one specific meeting that I went to. I went in and I sat down and I was really fed up because I raised my hand and I told everybody what a phony I was. And I told everybody I was a liar and I stole things and all of these incredibly terrible things that I thought I was. And they said, we love you just because you're you. And for me, that's what this program means. When I see somebody, when they come in the program and they're in pain, it doesn't matter why they're in pain because they can find help in Alcoholics Anonymous. If someone told me, and I've been sober for four months now, if somebody told me when I came in the program, sorry, you did drugs, you need to go someplace else, I wouldn't know how to live like I do
[00:05:01]
today. This is a beautiful program. And as Bill W. said, it's the love of one alcoholic to another is the key to the whole thing. And I really feel like if I can love myself, then I can love you people. And I can't turn anybody away because when I came into this program, I had nothing either. I was a mess, you know? And people loved me back to health. And I love this program for that. Thank you. Hi, my name is Bob Fredericks, and I'm a duly victim person. I sat in this program and hung around for 12 years. And I come in now for myself, and I've been here since 1975. I was so fortunate to be here today and to hear this panel. And I'm so lucky that I can hear and I can speak. But they have brought a translator today. And my primary purpose is at all times now, because I love this program, is to carry a message to another alcoholic or a drug addict. And I wish that the translator was sitting on the stage to make sure that nobody in the back misses anything of what this panel has to say. Thank you very much.
My name is Avard, and I come from Westerly, Rhode Island. And I am an unadulterated, pure-blooded alcoholic. Could you get a little bit closer to the mic, please? Yes, I am an unadulterated, pure-blooded alcoholic. But in nine and a half years of recovery with us here, I have learned something about tolerance and understanding, forgiveness, and love for others. To me, I think without any doubt, alcohol, for the alcoholic at least, is a very virulent and addictive drug. And I don't think for him there's much of any differentiation between it and other thoroughly addictive drugs. I think that the differentiation that some amongst us make between alcohol and other addictive drugs is simply the fact that alcohol is legal and those other drugs are illegal. But that seems to me to have very, very, very, very little bearing in view of the fact that so many of us pure-blooded alcoholics have committed so many crimes, have done so much damage, have wrecked so many lives, that that differentiation seems to me to be virtually meaningless. That's all I have to say.
My name is Barbara Kingery, and I am from Portage, Indiana. I've been sober since February 1979, thank God. But you know, when I came into the program at first, I knew I was alcoholic. And you taught me about that. And the thought of taking another drink just scared me to death. But I also had a drug problem. I was not aware of that at the time. I kept taking the drugs, my thinking got screwed up, quit going to meetings, and I got drunk again.
Then you taught me about my drug abuse. I didn't know anything about that. And you taught me that a high is a high, I don't care how you achieve it. And you taught me that any mood-altering drug will get me drunk again. And you taught me that anything that comes between me and my sobriety, I better cut it loose. Now, I knew nothing of my drug problem until you taught me that, and thank God you loved me enough to teach me. Because I wouldn't be standing here today without that. Thank you.
And I'm also a recovering member, five years, in OA. But I go to Alcoholics Anonymous for my alcohol problem, and I go to OA for my eating problem. Save, save me a seat at OA, okay? Over here. Yeah, hello, my name's Bob, I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Bob. I'm from Brooklyn, New York, and I just wanted to say, first I wanted to say to Diane that listening to you, I really wanted to thank you for your qualification. You were very honest and open, and that's what AA means to me. And if I were to judge you anything less than a 10, there's something wrong with my listening, not your speaking. I came into the program 13 months ago, and I had no idea that I was an alcoholic back then. And I came
[00:10:03]
in because I needed, I was going for a promotion on my job, and what I wanted to hear when I came in was, no, we don't want you. I was, I'm a cross-addicted alcoholic, I've abused drugs also. And I would have been very happy to go back to the boss and say, they don't want me, I'm not an alcoholic. But the fellowship opened up to me, and I did have the desire to stop drinking, and I still do. And as long as I do have that desire to stop drinking, I know I'm welcome at all closed meetings of alcoholics and alcoholics. Thank you.
Thank you. Diane would like to say something. I'll keep it real short. Is this on? I don't usually need a microphone anyway, but I just wanted to say something about love intolerance, because I've heard it like a thousand times during this meeting and a million times since I've been sober. Love intolerance, love intolerance. And you know, love intolerance is not as easy to do as it is to say. I don't love and tolerate easily. I've had to learn very painfully what tolerance is. Tolerance doesn't mean that you tolerate everything that you can tolerate and then the rest of it's wrong. Tolerance means that you tolerate everything there is. That everything that there is is okay until they get willing or able to change it. And it's difficult. If you're a person that finds that it just doesn't come naturally to you to love and tolerate all the jerks that come into AA, then don't feel alone. I can promise you if you ask God to help you with that defect, it will change.
It might take 12 years, but it will change. Thank you. I'm an alcoholic and an addict. My name is Don and I'm a member of both sides of the coin group of Queens, New York via 101 Club in Pompano Beach, Florida. And, uh, you know, I'm here for one purpose and for one purpose only, and that's to recover from a disease that kills, you know, that takes people's lives. And, uh, you know, I, I can only share my experience because when I came into the program of, I came in through Narcotics Anonymous and I came into Alcoholics Anonymous and my first year, I could only say that I was an addict. I had no idea that I was an alcoholic. And, uh, when I shared at meetings, I would say I'm only an addict. My second year, I became powerless over alcohol. And at the end of my second year, I became an alcoholic and an addict. And, uh, you know, when I'm at Narcotics Anonymous meetings, I'm an addict and I show respect for Narcotics Anonymous. And when I'm at Alcoholics Anonymous, I show respect for Alcoholics Anonymous because these are the programs and the 12 steps that are saving my life and I must show them both respect. And, uh, you know, the reality is, is for me is, uh, you know, I'm, I, I work in New York City and I, and I, uh, when I go to work, I see people on the street, you know, and the reality is they're dying, you know, and, uh, they haven't had this opportunity like I have and all of us here to come to Montreal, you know, and, uh, they may never get that opportunity. And, you know, who am I to say to them, you know, if they ever wanted this way of life, are you a drug addict or are you an alcoholic? You know, you know, my primary purpose today is to stay sober and to help somebody else find this way of life. And that is the only thing right now that is really all that important. Thanks very much.
I'm Jesse and I'm an alcoholic. In, uh, 1975, I was put into a long-term drug treatment program because my life was unmanageable. When I completed that course of study, they gave me my drinking privileges. For the next five years, my life was to get more and more unmanageable until I wound up on the Bowery because I found out now that I was just an alcoholic and that drinking did everything that the drugs did. When I came into AA in 1981, which was my last whatever, I didn't really care. I mean, I didn't have too much living on the Bowery. And, uh, I came in an upstate New York where the controversy was very big and I wasn't going to say anything to put people off. You know, they were put off enough just by the sight of me. And, uh, you know, so I didn't, I didn't talk about how I stuck needles in my arms and nothing warms my heart more like Diane than an old fashioned dope fiend, goofball addict. But, you know, I didn't want to go through explaining what GBs meant to these people. And, uh, I stayed sober and even today, and I'm very active and I speak a lot, I don't find the need to address how I stuck needles in my arm or what I did.
And the need to address how I stuck needles in my arm or which brand of booze I drank, I sort of talk about feelings, and I've spoken at NA meetings, NA meetings, and people always seem to identify with what I have to say.
[00:15:11]
I haven't really seen too many people who walk around and say that they can't identify with alcoholics who have a bigger drug history than I do. And maybe somebody mentioned before, it's just the denial. And I remember one morning and right at the very end of my drinking, I was looking for a drink in my cousin's house where I was staying, and then I went to the medicine chest to look for mouthwash to drink.
And I found Valium, so I took that because I knew it would take that tightness out of my stomach and take that, you know, trembling out of my whole body. So, you know, I have no problem with going to any type of meeting, but I guess if I was traveling on the road and I was really lonely and tired and angry, and the first meeting I drove up to was a narcotics anonymous meeting, and I felt I was a stone-cold alcoholic.
Maybe if you went in there and you saw that they're really talking about the same thing, which to me is the 12 steps and feelings and talking about being scared and insecure and inadequate, and then all of a sudden you walk in and the tightness comes out of your stomach and you start to feel more comfortable, you might see that the only way I see it is we just fight this thing all together. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Good morning, everyone. My name is Ted, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm not dually addicted. And I come from Sudbury, Ontario, and in Sudbury we have 43, 44 groups. And I can remember when I first came around, I required a lot of meetings. I went to an awful lot of meetings. But I have a few 24 hours in AA now, and I don't require as many meetings. How I handle dual addiction is we have downtown meetings and the outskirt meetings.
So what I do is I go to the meetings where I don't hear about dual addiction. I know when I came here this morning I didn't expect to be listening to the topic of dual addiction. I learned a lot here this morning. I know that this is not a problem. As was stated here this morning, this is not an AA problem. This is just another AA challenge. And I believe that. And it's probably very selfish of me to be handling it the way I am.
To go to, I require two or three meetings a week, and I take these meetings in where not the downtown groups. I have a car now, and I can drive out to a meeting outside the area where dual addiction is not a problem, and people talking about their alcoholism. And I guess this is a challenge that will have to be handled on an individual basis. Me as a person, individually. I'm going to have to change.
Just like a lot of my friends in AA are going to have to change. We were talking about this. I was having coffee at a friend's house two or three weeks ago, and we were talking about a particular meeting downtown. I said, are you going to a meeting tonight? And I was mentioning I might go to a place, a particular meeting downtown, and oh, geez, I'm not going to go listen to them talking about drugs, and I'm not even going to bother going to that meeting.
And I agreed, yeah, I don't think I'm going to that one either. I'm going to have to change, just like my friends. In discussion here, we're just discussing this as AA members. At the conference level, I know this is discussed quite a bit. My question is to Lois. For example, at the last conference in New York in April, what was discussed regarding dual addiction? I know it's been on the conference agenda two or three times.
I know there's been some changes in the pamphlets. And maybe you could bring people here up to date on what happened in New York this time in April. Okay, well, I'll do my best. You know, I was thinking as you were talking, this is such a difficult subject to keep cut and dried, really. I don't think dual addiction is the issue at all, quite frankly, and dual addiction was not discussed at the conference in April.
Really, staying on the primary purpose of Alcoholics Anonymous seems to be the issue as I see it. I mean, we do a membership survey every three years. It's the closest thing we come to trying to keep any sort of statistics in AA,
[00:20:01]
and we really don't think of it in those terms as much as just getting kind of a picture of the fellowship to see where we are. But we know as a result of that survey that more young people are coming to AA and that the vast majority of those young people have a problem with both alcohol and other drugs. And just saying other drugs raises a question right there, and I know that. So we know that the fellowship is changing in that sense.
Also, more women are coming to the fellowship, and the majority of those women say that they are, in addition to being alcoholic, the majority are also addicted to prescription medications. So we have a lot of people in AA today who have problems with alcohol and other drugs, or drugs other than alcohol, however you want to say it. The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking.
The problem as I see it, and I am going to use the word problem, is the concern among many people in the fellowship that the focus of AA meetings, where people go to share experience, strength, and hope about recovery from alcoholism, is getting off recovering from alcoholism and on recovery from other addictions. And I don't consider myself dually addicted. I just smoked marijuana for fun because it made me feel good, but I didn't consider myself addicted to it.
And I took uppers in college in the 50s, amphetamines to keep me awake to cram for exams, but I didn't feel addicted to them, and I don't think I was. When I came to AA in 1970, I took Librium now and then because I was real nervous as the result of a drunk driving accident I had had seven months prior. But I wasn't addicted to Librium. I don't even know that I would say I abused those things, but I liked them. Why would I abuse them?
But I had a good sponsor who told me immediately that taking that Librium to keep my nerves calm was like taking a martini in pill form, and that if I wanted to stay sober, I better get rid of the Librium, and I better not smoke any more of those funny cigarettes. And it was really about as simple as that for me. Now, the question was, what did the conference say about it? The conference approved a pamphlet in April on AA, and I'm so tired this morning I can't even think straight, but the new pamphlet, John, Medication and Other Drugs?
That was last year. Was it last year? I'm really in bad shape. When we say it's discussed at every conference, it seems to come up in one way or another at every conference, ask-it-basket session, general sharing session, and it really is what can we do to keep the focus of our meetings on alcoholism and recovery from alcoholism, and it really isn't that AA is trying to be exclusive, believe me. It's really just that we are trying to keep Alcoholics Anonymous effective, and what we know and what we're about is recovery from alcoholism.
But I don't think, I personally don't have any disagreement with one word that any person on the panel said today, and, John, could you comment? John's a delegate to the General Service Conference, and he probably can remember it better than I can right now. I'm John, and I'm an alcoholic. And just a few thoughts have been going through my head as I've been listening to you speak, and I just heard one man say something about it's the same, Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
To him, it's the same, and I guess we're entitled to our own opinions. In fact, in New Jersey, there's a fellow walking around with a petition right now that Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous should be merged. But I did talk about singleness of purpose, and we were concerned about that at the conference. And, in fact, I'd just like to answer the question that the gentleman just asked before.
We did approve two changes to literature, two pamphlets. We're very concerned about professionals sending non-alcoholic drug addicts to AA seeking help. We cannot help a non-alcoholic, period, whatever they are, whether they're a gambler, an overeater, or a pure drug addict, whatever that means. We can't help them, and we don't do them a service by trying to help them. So we addressed a change in two pamphlets to the professional.
One pamphlet is if you are a professional, and the second pamphlet is how AA members cooperate. And I can't remember the exact language, but what we, to paraphrase,
[00:25:01]
what we said in these pamphlets to the professional is if a person is not sure about his or her problem, then they are very welcome to attend an open AA meeting, open AA meeting. But if the person is sure that alcoholism is not his or her problem, that they may wish to seek help elsewhere. So we're specifically saying in our literature that we can't be all things to all people, that we do have a singleness of purpose, and we really should send, as Lois said before, there are other fellowships that help others with other problems.
And I know it's very controversial, and I can feel the controversy in this room. And it's good that we talk about it, that we don't hide, that we don't run away. I think we've got to go back to basics. I think we've got to look at those traditions, and we've got to look at the fifth tradition. Thank you. Thank you, John. Thank you. Good morning. Thank you, panel. I'm an alcoholic, and my name is Kenny Kane.
Hey, Kenny. Kenny, can you speak into the mic? I originally got sober in New Jersey, and I've been sober in four states. Closer to the mic. Closer to you? Okay. You know, this is God's program. You know, one thing I don't want to do in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I've been here a long time, I don't want to just sit around and ferment. You know, my sponsors told me to get up and keep walking over to new people and introduce yourself and make them comfortable.
I enjoy that. You know, I used to take everybody's inventory, and it's good because it gave me a lot of practice when I get around to doing my own. But I'm here. I don't try to differentiate who is what and what's what. What I'm trying to say is, you know, the people that come in here would, you know, who out of these people have drug problems? Your young brother, your sister, your grandchildren. Okay.
If they don't come here to get started, where the heck are they going to go? The reason that I'm successful today is because I stay busy. I work with people in detox and things like that. If you're sober 5 years, 10 years, 30 years, and you go out and get drunk, you know how you come back? You come back cross-addicted because you're out there and you say, man, I might as well try this thing. That's all I want to say.
Thank you. Thank you. I just wanted to say one quick thing. When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, a group that was recommended to me, I came in on a Tuesday and I went to a step meeting on a Wednesday, and there was a group recommended to me on a Thursday night. And the name of the group, which is still very active and with some phenomenal sobriety in Broward County, is the Express Group. And the way the Express Group got their name is because the average age of the people in that group was probably under 30 years of age.
There were excessive lengths of sobriety in that group. And these people, like myself and like Diane, took the Express train to Alcoholics Anonymous. You see, just drinking would have kept me out there a while longer. Because I injected myself and did all of those other silly things, I got here quicker. Thank God. And, you know, I think that the situation is real simple. You know, it says everywhere in our big book that we all suffer from a disease that manifests itself in self-centered fear.
Well, you know, as Kenny just said, 20 years from now, 25 years from now, by the grace of God, I'm going to be an old timer in Alcoholics Anonymous. And so is everyone else, and everyone's going to be duly addicted. It's as simple as that. And I could understand, you know, I really have to empathize with the people that came in before drugs were a situation. Because they can feel the isolation. And if there's anything I wouldn't want to do is isolate the people that saved my life.
However, 20 years from today, by the grace of God, I might have 25 years. Then what? Thank you. Thank you. We have less than five minutes, and the one thing we do have to do is end on time because we're on a tight schedule, and another workshop is scheduled in here, I'm sure. Yes? My name's Andy. I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Andy. And I'm so glad that I'm an alcoholic that I get just choked up. I mean, it just tears me up.
Because that was the beginning. And then I found out I had a voracious appetite for almost nearly everything. I can go in the garden and overeat. You know, if someone said, take two aspirins, I'd take four. So I can't take aspirin. So I ended up, you know what I mean, with the beginning. I'm an alcoholic. But I choose to find the help I need in other places for other things. And I go wherever I need.
Other Things. And I go wherever I need that help. So it doesn't matter, you know, whatever is going
[00:30:01]
on don't mean a damn thing to me. I take good care of myself and do the best that I can for myself. And when anybody asks me whatever I'm doing, you know what I mean, okay, fine, and then I'll share that. But I'm telling you, I couldn't even cross over the bridge. I smell Molson's Ale crossing the bridge. And when I go down the street and somebody spilled a bottle of booze on the street, I can smell it two blocks away. I know I'm an alcoholic. That's all I got to say. Thank you.
I think this is going to be the last one. I'm awfully sorry. I'm sorry we don't all have time to share. Hi, I'm Maureen. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. I am from New Brunswick, New Jersey. I reside in East Brunswick, New Jersey. I started my addiction and my AA in Brooklyn, New York. When I started, when I was 10 years old, I was drinking. It was 13 before I picked up a drug. So I was an alcoholic for three years before I was a drug addict. 11 years later, I tell people I lived in space and I didn't know what I was. And when I came into the program, I was accepted.
If I wasn't accepted, I think I would be dead because when I came in, I was 90 pounds and the only thing that would stay in my system was alcohol. And if somebody had told me I don't belong here, I would have went out and killed myself most likely. I learn a lot from the old members. They're very good for me. We need them. We need the new people coming in because they remind you of where you'd be. And it's great being here and I just can't say everything I'd like to say, but I believe that everybody that has a desire to change and stop doing and living the way they've been belongs here. I've been to NAPA and many other types of self-help groups and I feel most comfortable in AA. And I know I'm an alcoholic, but I do have other problems, but I feel most comfortable in AA. Thank you. Thank you.
I see a hand there. I have one pertinent thing to say is that let's not forget our Johnnies and Martys and Sindys. They're the ones coming into the program, our sons and daughters. You know, that's what this program's all about. It's compulsive people. We're trying to learn to live our lives in serenity and sobriety. I wanted to say that. My name is Richard Tabler from Ohio. Thank you. Thank you. I think it's been an absolutely wonderful workshop. Everybody on the panel deserves a 10.
And so do you. Thank you for getting up and coming at nine o'clock in the morning. And will you help me close the meeting with the Lord's Prayer, if you wish. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, amen.
Keep coming back. It works. Hi, how are you? Hi, nice to meet you. How are you doing? Good. How are you? Good. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
[00:35:01]
Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you? Thank you. Take care. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you very much. What do you think? Have a good time. Welcome to Memphis, New York. How are you? Hi. What would you like to have? I can have a surprise. What are these? Popeyes. That's good. Orange cheesecake. I'll get you a new one. That's great.