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Source: 1985 Montreal International Convention – Unknown Speaker – BIG BOOK MARATHON – RS 06322.mp3 File: 1985-montreal-international-convention-unknown-speaker-big-book-marathon-rs-06322.mp3 Duration: 01:24:03
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Yeah, thank you very much. It's so good to be up here and see so many friends. A lot of you I know and a lot of you I haven't met yet, but you're still friends. I'm glad of that. It's so nice to be here. Thank you. I'm glad of that, too, because, you know, sometimes in these things a little bit of a rapport at the beginning helps a heck of a lot. And this is kind of a little different situation for me.
Charlie's the old pro. He knows what he's doing. I'm just up here kind of trying to find my way, you know. And it's just like when we come into the program, of course, we have to have somebody to guide us. And we've got guys like Charlie and Joe sitting back here. They're the fellows that guide the rest of us. And we're getting there, slow but sure. I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Pinky Harris.
I'm from London, Ontario. My home group is the Big Book Workshop Group, and it's just great to be here. I'd like to open the meeting as we do in the normal manner amongst many of these meetings. We usually open them with a moment of silence and a serenity prayer, not just because it happens to be the habit or anything. It's just that it's a heck of a nice way to get your thoughts in order and get your meeting started off.
You can use the moment for whatever way you see fit. If somebody else slept in a little bit late and wants to grab another 40 winks, you're welcome. Do whatever you please. It's so great to be here, and I'd like to have that moment now, if you will, in the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
This, of course, is our 50th anniversary, and this is some milestone, let me tell you. I guess if you're wandering up and down the streets of Montreal, you'll see all these people. I know the taxi drivers and everybody else last night was just saying, My God, how many of you are there? So that's the way it is, and we're happy that everybody is taking notice of us. How can they help when you've got about 45,000 people wandering around?
It's bound to make an impression on any city. As we say our little prayer here and there throughout the day, I hope that we're all going to think of the number of recoveries that we have in this program, The Alcoholics Anonymous, in this last 50 years. It's just utterly fantastic. There isn't a place in the world, there isn't another organization, you can go anywhere in the air and have that same common bond of feelings you have when you walk inside the door of an AA meeting.
There's just something here that's different, that's completely different. A friend of mine used to say, the magic of the meetings, and I think that's true. There is a certain magic here, there's a certain feeling. We'll all enjoy and we'll all get into the spirit of this whole thing as we go by. I would like to read to you the preamble of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it goes something like this. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution, does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
And that's quite an order, but that's the way we do it, and it's great. I have some little notes here that they give us, and they ask that we do explain the anonymity tradition as follows. There may be some here who are not familiar with the tradition of a personal anonymity at the public level. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV and films.
Remember that. Thus we respectfully ask that no AA speaker or indeed any AA member be identified by full name or photograph in published or broadcast reports of our meetings. The assurance of anonymity is essential in our efforts to help other problem drinkers who may wish to share our recovery program with us. And our tradition of anonymity reminds us that the AA principles come before personalities, not AA personalities, but personalities.
Tapes are being made of all of these meetings and everything like that, so you'll have your forms that came in your envelopes, and you'll find your directions as you go along. I'm hurrying along here because I don't want to waste a lot of time. This is a very extremely important meeting. This is an extremely important series of meetings as far as I'm concerned. It's called the Big Book Marathon. There's four sessions today.
There's four sessions tomorrow. And I hope that each and every one of you will be here for all of those sessions. And I'd like to see this room a standing room only before the day is over. And the Big Book, to any of us who have become familiar with it and studying it a lot, I had the privilege of starting to be involved in Big Book studies a couple of years ago. I met these two fine gentlemen, Charlie and Joe, out here.
We've been extremely good friends since and attend a lot of Big Book seminars and things.
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We have a Big Book seminar coming up here in London, Ontario. I hope some of you will find your way there. I have a bunch of flyers over at the side here. So come and join us. I'm sure that after you get through these meetings, then you'll know what these are all about, and you'll just be breaking your neck to get up there and get those registrations in. I hope so. But as I say, it's important now that I do get the thing underway here with the gentlemen.
Charlie is from Maysville, Arkansas. And he just does a fine, fine job. And I look up to him and Joe an awful lot, because they do know what the Big Book's about. And you're going to enjoy what Charlie has to say. We're going to try and make clear throughout our sessions today three pertinent ideas that the Big Book involves. One is the problem, one is the solution, and the other is a planned program of recovery.
So watch for those things as we're going along. You'll see a lot of emphasis on it. And without anything more from me, I would like you to welcome our speaker for this first session, Charlie P. from Maysville, Arkansas. My golly, this is quite a turnout of people. My name is Charlie Parmy, and I'm a very grateful recovering alcoholic, because I'm a member of the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, and by the grace of the power that I found in the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, haven't found necessary to take a drink for 5,728 days today, one day at a time.
And for this I'm very grateful. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to be here and talk about the Big Book. Those of you that happen to know me and my sidekick Joe know that we fell in love with the idea of the Big Book years and years ago. We love to discuss it, and we love to share whatever little bit of knowledge that we might have about the Big Book with other people. Normally when I speak, my wife Barbara is with me.
Usually I get to introduce her, but since I've been spending about as much time with Joe as I have with Barbara, I'd like for you all to meet my sidekick Joe. Joe, would you stand up, please? Still trying to decide who it's most fun to be with, Barbara or Joe. I always like to tell just one little story at any meetings like this, not for your benefit, but for my benefit, to kind of settle me down and get the butterflies in my stomach where they belong.
Joe and I heard a story not long ago about a brain surgeon who had developed a new way to transplant brains, and he could do it in its entirety. This particular fellow had been having trouble with his brain, so he went to the brain surgeon and asked him about the possibility of a brain transplant. The brain surgeon checked him out and everything and said, Oh, yeah, you would be an excellent candidate.
He said, We can fix you up. The guy said, Well, what kind of brains do you have to offer? He said, Well, come over here in the display case and I'll show you. He went over to the display case and said, Here we have the brains of a lawyer. He said, I could transplant that brain in your head for about $10,000 and everything would be fine. The guy said, Have you got anything else? He said, Oh, yeah. He said, Come over in this display case and I'll show you.
He said, Here we have the brains of a doctor. He said, I could transplant this in your head for $50,000 and everything would be great. The guy said, Have you got anything else? He said, Oh, yeah. Over in this display case, I've got the brains of an alcoholic. He said, I could transplant this in your head for $100,000. The guy said, I don't understand. He said, How come $10,000 for the lawyer, $50,000 for the doctor, and $100,000 for the alcoholic?
He said, Hell, man, it's brand new. It ain't never been used yet. And sometimes I think we fit into that category. This session is scheduled to run us until about 9.30 this morning. I'm not going to talk all that time. We're going to talk for a while about the big book, and then we're going to open it up to questions and answers and a discussion for everybody here in the room this morning. If you'll notice, there's two floor mics back through the middle, and later on when we get to questions and answers and discussion, we'll ask you to go to the floor mics to ask your question or say whatever you would like to say.
Let's keep it as informal as we possibly can. Let's try to make it a learning session, see what we can find out about the big book itself. If we're going to talk about the big book, we almost have to go back and talk a little bit about the beginnings of AA,
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and I can't think of a better time to be doing that than here this year. And if we talk about the beginnings of AA, we'll be able to see the development of the big book and how come it to be written and the sequence it's written in. And if I'm to talk about the beginnings of AA, I've got to go back and talk about this fellow that you and I know as a guy named Bill Wilson. And we know that way back in the summer of 1933, this fellow named Bill Wilson was having extreme difficulties with alcohol.
We know that at one time he could drink it with relative safety and ease, although he had some difficulty when he was younger. But we also know that as time went by, his disease progressed, and by the year of 1933, he was really beginning to get into serious difficulties. He could no longer drink without getting drunk, and he could no longer seem to be able to stay sober left on his own resources. And from time to time he would try to get off of alcohol and stay sober for a period of time, but for some unknown reason his mind always kept telling him that it would be all right to drink or this time it will be okay.
And always just before he took a drink, he felt that he could have this drink and he would have one or two and he wouldn't get drunk and he wouldn't get sick and he wouldn't get in all kinds of trouble. But invariably when he had the one or two, he seemed to be unable to control the amount that he consumed and he ended up drunk and sick and in all kinds of trouble. And Bill couldn't understand what was wrong with him.
And we know that in 1933 his alcoholism had progressed to the point that it became necessary to begin putting Bill into hospitals for withdrawal from alcohol. And because of Bill's brother-in-law, a fellow named Dr. Leonard Strong, and Bill's mother, we know that Bill was placed in the town's hospital in New York City, and there he met a little doctor named Dr. Silkworth. And Dr. Silkworth, for the first time, made Bill aware of what his problem really was.
You see, prior to that time, Bill always thought that the reason he could not stop drinking or could not control his drinking was the fact that he was weak-willed or perhaps he was just a morally bad, sinful human being. And why would he not think that? Everybody in the world had been telling him that. And Dr. Silkworth, for the first time, began to explain to Bill that there was more to this thing than just being weak-willed or a morally bad, sinful human being.
He said, Bill, I believe that you are suffering from what I call the disease of alcoholism. And he said, I believe your disease of alcoholism is a twofold disease. He said, first, I believe that your body is different from that of normal people. He said, whenever you take a drink of alcohol, I believe that it triggers a craving in your system that makes it virtually impossible for you to control your drinking or to be able to stop drinking after you have taken that first drink.
And he said, Bill, this seems to be abnormal. He said, nine people out of ten that drink alcohol, when they have one or two or three drinks, that's really all they want to drink. And he said, normally they get a slightly tipsy, out-of-control, nauseating feeling, and they don't particularly like that, and they say, I'm not going to drink anymore. But he said, Bill, for people like you, whenever you take that drink, you don't seem to get that slightly tipsy, out-of-control, nauseating feeling.
You seem to get an in-control feeling. And he said, it seems to trigger a craving in your body, which is a physical thing that demands that you have more of the same. And he said, you want to have just one or two or three, but after you've had one or two or three, then this physical craving is so strong that it overcomes the mental ability to stop drinking, and then you end up drunk and sick and in all kinds of trouble.
Now, he said, Bill, nine people out of ten react this other way, and one person out of ten reacts like you did. And he said, therefore, you are abnormal when it comes to your reaction to alcohol. And he said, if you would go to the dictionary and look that word up, you would find that an abnormal reaction to a food, beverage, or substance is considered to be an allergy. And he said, therefore, Bill, I'm going to tell you that I believe that you are allergic to alcohol.
He said, I can't prove it, but he said, I've been able to notice this after working with countless thousands of alcoholics that this reaction seems to take place in every one of them. And he said, physically, I believe that you're allergic to alcohol. And he said, in addition to you being allergic to alcohol, he said, I also believe that you have developed an obsession of the mind. And he said, Bill, an obsession of the mind is not really too difficult to understand.
He said, an obsession of the mind is simply an idea that overcomes all ideas. And he said, somewhere back during your lifetime, perhaps when you were a young person growing up, one day you didn't feel good, and you were restless and irritable and discontented. And you were restless and irritable and discontented, and you were afraid to talk to people and
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you were afraid to get around the girls and you were afraid to do a lot of things because you knew you would do the wrong thing and say the wrong thing and you would be embarrassed by it. And he said, somebody handed you a drink of alcohol. And he said, you took that drink of alcohol and you put it in your system, and he said, almost immediately those feelings disappeared. He said the feelings of restlessness and irritability and discontent disappeared.
The feelings of anxiety and worry and being concerned with what other people would think disappeared. And he said, you were able to talk to the girls and you were able to get on the dance floor and dance with the girls and you were able to do the things that you had not been able to do before on your own strength and aided. And he said, Bill, you loved that feeling. And he said, the next time you felt that way, your mind remembered how alcohol made you feel before. And you tried it a second time and he said, sure enough, the second time you experienced the same feelings, the same release, the same release from the fears and the worries and the anxieties and etc. And he said it did for you the second time what it did the first time. He said then the third time you got a chance to do that, you tried it again and it worked for you the third time. And he said, Bill, almost immediately your mind added together two things. That whenever you're sober you didn't feel good and you took a drink and it made you feel better. And he said that thing has become so strong in your mind that your mind will always remember what a drink of alcohol does for you. He said now other people may see that you can't drink. And other people may tell you that you can't drink successfully. And he said you yourself from time to time recognize the fact you can't drink successfully. And from time to time you say you're going to quit. But he said this idea of what alcohol does for you is embedded so strongly in your mind that that idea overcomes all these other ideas to the contrary and the mind begins to say such things as, well, now that I've been sober 90 days, surely I could have a couple of beers. Or he says maybe the mind says now that I've been sober a couple of days, sure after 90 days, surely I owe myself a couple of beers. Or he said maybe the mind says I'm going to get a half a pint and I'm going to take it home and I'm going to have two drinks before dinner and then I won't get drunk because I never did like to drink on a full stomach anyhow. And he said whatever the reason is, your mind will refuse to remember that you can't drink and it will tell you it's okay and the idea that you can drink overcomes the idea that you can't drink and you will take the first drink. And he said then you take the first drink and you trigger the allergy and then you can't stop. And Bill when he heard this, he was quite relieved to know that he had this thing called a disease.
He was quite relieved to know that it was not just a matter of willpower. He was quite relieved to know that it wasn't a matter of morals or a bad sinful human being. He was very relieved to know that he was suffering from the disease of alcoholism. And he felt now that I know what's wrong with me, now that I know that I can't drink successfully because of the allergy, now that I know that I can't stay sober because of this obsession of the mind, that it will only be a matter of staying on guard against the first drink and I'll be able to live without drinking. And he thanked the doctor and he left the town's hospital in 1933. We know that shortly after that Bill's obsession of the mind became operative and told him that he could drink. And Bill took a drink and triggered his allergy and then he couldn't stop drinking. Approximately a year later it became necessary to put Bill back in the hospital again and he was put back in the hospital under Dr. Silkworth for the second time. This time as Dr. Silkworth withdrew him from the alcohol, he told Bill's wife Lois, he said, this man is not going to live. He said, I've never seen a single case recover where the obsession of the mind has progressed to the extent that it has in Bill and says he's either going to have to be locked up because he's going to go absolutely insane or he's going to die from convulsions during DTs. And Bill heard this in that particular time in 1934. Bill left the hospital in the summer of 1934 knowing what his problem was, knowing what his disease was, knowing that if he drank again he was probably going to die from the disease, and he stayed sober for a period of time on fear. We also know that on Armistice Day of 1934 Bill's obsession of the mind became operative again and told him it was okay to take a drink. And we know that Bill took a drink on Armistice Day. We know that when he took the drink he triggered the allergy and he couldn't stop drinking.
Self-knowledge was not enough to stop Bill from drinking. During this particular drunk that Bill was on in November of 1934, we also know that Bill received a telephone call from a fellow named Ebby. And we know that Ebby came over to visit with Bill, and he came
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to visit with Bill to tell Bill about his disease of alcoholism, to tell Bill about his recovery from the disease. And he told Bill about the fact that he had been standing in front of a judge about to be committed for alcoholic insanity. And he told Bill about the fact that two fellows had interceded and asked the judge to release Ebby in their custody. They said, we believe that we have found a way that people like Ebby can live and not have to drink. And said, let us have him in our custody and we'll see if we can help him find this way to live. And Ebby began to explain to Bill about the idea that if he had become entirely powerless over alcohol, that in order for him to recover he would have to find a power not only greater than he was, but greater than alcohol also. And he said, Bill, the only thing that you've really got to have in order to begin finding this power is to believe that you can, or even be willing to believe that you can find a power greater than you are that can help you with your problem with alcohol. And he said, Bill, the thing has worked for me. I've been sober two months and it hasn't been necessary for me to take a drink. You know, this looked quite good to Bill because he knew about Ebby. And he knew about Ebby's drinking. And he knew about the fact that Ebby left on his own power could absolutely not stay sober. So for the first time in his life, Bill now saw not only the problem, but now he began to see the solution. He began to see where the solution would be within a power not only greater than he was, but a power greater than alcohol also. And at the same time Ebby showed him the solution, Ebby also told him about a little planned program of action. And he said, Bill, I've been going to a group of people called the Oxford Groups. And he said, the Oxford Groups have developed a little planned program of action that if used, they can find this power greater than they are. And in that power greater than they are is strong enough to overcome any obsession of the mind, whatever it might be. And he said some of those have a drinking problem. He said some of them have a problem with overeating and some of them have a problem with gambling and some of them have a problem with sex and various other different things. But he said they've used this little planned program of action and in the use of it, they find this power greater than they are. And because of that, they overcome that obsession of the mind. And he said, would you like to have some of that? And Bill said, well, of course I would.
Now, we've got to remember that Bill had started drinking on Armistice Day 1934, and he couldn't stop drinking because he had already triggered his allergy. But he did start going to Oxford Group meetings. We know that one time Bill went to an Oxford Group meeting down on the Bowery, and on the way down there, he stopped off in a bar to have a little drink or two. And in the bar where he was having a little drink or two, there was another drunk sitting there, and Bill began to explain all this great stuff to the other drunk. And the drunk said, well, hell, I'll just go with you. And the two of them left and went on down on the Bowery to the meeting there, and they went in and they created such a disturbance that they started to throw him out. And it just happened that Ebby walked in, and Ebby took him back in the kitchen, gave him a cup of coffee and a sandwich, and got him halfway sobered up. And then they went back out in the meeting, and Ebby always said that Bill made the damndest talk that you ever heard at that particular meeting at that time.
Bill continued to drink until he couldn't drink any more, and then they put him back in the town's hospital under Dr. Silkworth for the third time. Ebby visited with him in the hospital, and they began to apply this little planned program of action in Bill's life there in the hospital to the best of their ability. And Bill had in that hospital what he always referred to as a vital spiritual experience as the result of this planned program of action. Now, of course, I don't think today we really know exactly what happened to Bill.
But we know that in the big book in Bill's story, he talked about how he felt as if he had been lifted clear up to the top of a mountain, and a clean wind blew through and through. We know that he said he felt as if that room had been filled with a blinding flash of light. We know that he said he felt as if his old ideas and his old motives and his old driving forces were suddenly cast aside and replaced with a new safety. And he referred to that always as his vital spiritual experience. We do know that when Bill left that hospital in 1934, that he didn't die until 1971, and it was never necessary for him to take another drink of alcohol as long as he lived. But in order for Bill to effect this recovery, Bill had to find out three things. He first had to find out what the problem is, and he found that from Dr. Silkworth. He next had to find out what the solution is, and he got that from Ebby. And he next had to find out what the planned program of action is, and he got that from Ebby also, which came from the Oxford groups. And when he applied the planned program of action in his life, then he himself experienced his recovery from the
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disease of alcoholism. Almost immediately Bill began to work with drunks in New York City, and he wasn't helping any of them. He would send them off to the bar of stools, pick them up out of the gutters, but none of them would respond to this great message that he had. And we know that Bill went back to Dr. Silkworth and talked to Dr. Silkworth about this, and he said, Dr. Silkworth, I don't seem to be able to help any people.
He said, I'm trying to give to other alcoholics what I have received so freely, but none of them seem to respond. He said, tell me what I'm doing wrong. Dr. Silkworth said, well, Bill, probably you're trying to cram that great vital spiritual experience, that great flash that you had, down their throat. He said, you can't cram anything down the throat of an alcoholic, especially a vital spiritual experience. He said, hell, they'll just puke her right back up every time. He said, what you need to tell them, Bill, is the same thing that I told you. He said, every drunk that I know of wants to know two things. Number one, why can't I drink like I used to without getting drunk? And number two, why can't I quit drinking now that I want to quit? He said, every alcoholic that I know of wants the answer to those two questions. He said, Bill, that is what I have explained to you, the disease of alcoholism, the exact nature of the illness, the hopeless condition of the mind and of the body. He said, if you will explain that to them first, you will get their interest, and then maybe you'll be able to talk to them about this great hot flash that you had here in the town's hospital. We know that shortly after that, Bill, always trying to put these business deals together, always trying to make some money, always trying to use other people's money to satisfy his desires so he could have what he wants, he put a little deal together where it was necessary for him to go to Akron, Ohio. When he went to Akron, Ohio, he went there for the purpose of trying to get enough proxy votes so he and these people he was working with could take over control of this company and end up making a large, enormous profit. We know also in Akron, Ohio, that the business trip fell through. Bill was standing in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel one day, very despondent, very depressed, knowing that the big business deal fell through, the chance to make all this money he was wanting to make was no longer there. He didn't even have enough money in his pocket to pay his bill at the Mayflower Hotel. When Bill was standing in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel, he looked over to the side and there was a bar off of the lobby itself. In that bar there were people in there and they were laughing and they were cutting up and the music was playing and the smoke was thick. Being a good alcoholic, Bill's mind said, You know, if I went in there, I wouldn't feel so bad. He said, Now, I'm not going to go in there and take a drink, I'm just going to go in there and enjoy the company and I'll feel better. But as he started to go into the door of the bar, his mind said something else. It said, Bill, you can't do that. It said, If you go in there and mix with those people, you're going to end up taking a drink and you're going to end up drunk and sick and in all kinds of trouble. His mind said to himself, Well, then what am I going to do about this? His mind remembered where back in New York City, even though he had never helped anybody yet, that every time he had tried, he had felt better, he had felt uplifted. He said, What I've got to do is find me a drunk here in Akron to talk to.
You know, also there was a church directory on the wall, and Bill made a series of phone calls and he finally came in contact with a minister who said, No, I don't know any alcoholics for you to talk to. But he said, I know a lady who knows some alcoholics that you could probably talk to. And we know that this particular minister put Bill in touch with Henrietta, and Henrietta in turn put Bill in touch with Dr. Bob. The amazing thing about it is, when she was ready to set up the meeting with Dr. Bob, she called Dr. Bob's wife Ann to set up the meeting, and Ann said, Well, I'm sorry, they could not meet this evening at all. And Henrietta said, How come? And she said, Well, Dr. Bob is indisposed this evening. She neglected to say he was under the kitchen table, passed out or something like that.
We also know that the next day Bill got to meet with Dr. Bob in Henrietta's house, the gatehouse at the Sebring Estate. We know that Dr. Bob very reluctantly went to that meeting. He said, I don't really have any interest in talking to some drunk from New York City. But he said, I will give the man at least 15 minutes of my time. He went to the meeting and he met with Bill. Bill sat down with Dr. Bob, and Bill began to explain
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had had to know in order to recover from the disease. The first thing he did, he talked to Dr. Bob about the exact nature of the illness. He began to explain to Dr. Bob what Dr. Silkworth had told him about the physical allergy of the body and about the obsession of the mind, and as he began to talk to Dr. Bob about the believing in a power greater than himself and a planned program of action in order to found that power, to his amazement he found that Dr. Bob already knew those two things, because Dr. Bob had already been going to the Oxford groups in Akron, Ohio.
Dr. Bob had already been trying to apply the planned program of action in his life to the best of his ability, but he had not been able to apply it to the depth necessary to recover from the disease. It is only when Bill sat down and explained to him the exact nature of the illness, it is only when Dr. Bob could understand for the first time what the problem really was, then Dr. Bob could take that information and then he could apply the planned program of action to the Oxford groups in his life to a depth that he had never been able to apply it before, and lo and behold he recovered from the disease of alcoholism.
This blows Joe and our minds today when we think about this, because here is an old conman manipulating a New York City stockbroker over here in Akron, Ohio, and he is over here talking to a highly trained, well-known surgeon, and he is explaining to this surgeon the exact nature of his illness. He is telling him exactly what is wrong with his body and exactly what is wrong with his mind. Normally the surgeon would have turned to the stockbroker and said, who in the hell are you to be telling me what is wrong with my mind?
But he didn't do that. He bought that idea. Based upon that information, then he applied that program, and then lo and behold he recovered from the disease of alcoholism also. We know that almost immediately these two fellows went to a hospital there in Akron to try to find another alcoholic to carry the message to. And they went to the head nurse and they said, do you have an alcoholic here in the hospital that we can talk to?
And she said, oh my, yes. Said, we've got one tied down upstairs. And so he just blacked both eyes of one of the nurses, and Alice said, I don't know if it will do you any good, but you can sure go talk to him. These two fellows went upstairs, and they sat down at the side of this man's bed, and they began to tell this man three things. They began to explain to him the exact nature of his illness. They began to tell him what his problem really was.
They told him about the physical allergy of the body and the obsession of the mind. When they had grasped his interest, they then began to talk to him about a possible solution. They began to talk to him about the need for a power greater than human power in order to overcome the power of alcoholism. They began to talk to him about a planned program of action that if he would follow it, then he in turn could also experience what they had, and he could recover from the disease of alcoholism.
And they left him and they said, can we come back and visit in a couple of days? And he said, yes. And a couple of days later they came back to visit, and the man's wife was in the room and he said, there's the two guys, there's the two guys that have been telling me what's wrong with me, and telling me what I need to do in order to recover, and telling me what I have to have. And he said, woman, get my clothes, I'm going home.
And she got his clothes out of the closet and he put them on, and he left that hospital that day, and he never found it necessary to take another drink as long as he lived. Now there was three of them, and the three of them knew three things. They knew what the problem was, and they knew what the solution was, and they knew a planned program of action necessary to find that solution. And they began to talk to other drunks in Akron, Ohio, and lo and behold, a fourth one got sober, and then a fifth one got sober, and then it became necessary for Bill to go back to New York City.
And when Bill went back to New York City, he had left behind him, unbeknownst to him, what was to later become the first group of Alcoholics Anonymous, a few individuals staying sober on these three pieces of information. He went back to New York City, and again he followed Dr. Silkworth's advice. He began to talk to drunks in New York City about the exact nature of their illness. And when he got their interest, then he would tell them about the need for a power greater than they were and a planned program of action.
And lo and behold, one of them got sober, and then a second got sober, and then a third got sober. And unbeknownst to Bill, he was forming what was to later become known as the second group of Alcoholics Anonymous. A bunch of ducks up in Cleveland, Ohio, had heard about these strange queer people down there in Akron that were staying sober. And these guys from Cleveland said, we ought to go down there and find out what the hell is going on.
And some from Cleveland went down to Akron to see what these guys were doing to stay sober. And when they went down there, they found out three things. They found out what their problem was, too. And they found out the solution to the problem, and they found out the planned program of action. And they went back to Cleveland and began to apply that planned program of action in their life. And lo and behold, some of them began to recover from the disease of alcoholism.
[00:35:02]
Unbeknownst to them, they were forming what was to later become the third group of Alcoholics Anonymous. In 1937, it was necessary for Bill to travel through Akron again. He stopped and he visited with Dr. Bob. And as they sat down and they began to visit, they began to count the heads of those that were sober. And to their amazement, they found out they had 40 people sober in these three little groups, one in Akron, one in New York City, and one up in Cleveland.
And for the first time, they began to realize, you know, we might have found the answer. We may have found the answer to the disease of alcoholism, and we may be able to use it to avert death and suffering and pain for literally thousands and thousands of people. And when they really figured out what they had and what they could do with it, they had to decide, okay, what is it we're going to do with it?
And they called a little meeting there in Akron, and I believe there were something like 18 people attended that meeting. And the meeting was to discuss what will we do with this information that we now have. And they, like most alcoholics, got into several arguments over what they would do with it. One of them said, well, I think what we need to do is build a chain of hospitals. He said, on the first floor, we probably should have a live-in, work-out arrangement where guys could live in a structured environment and not have to drink.
And on the second floor, we ought to have a treatment center, and a third floor, a rehabilitation center. And on the fourth floor, we'll have a place where we can train them for new occupations. And Joe and I always laugh about the training for new occupations. I've never seen an alky yet that needed to be trained for new occupations, you know. Most of us have four or five occupations already. If you're a practicing alcoholic, you've got to have it.
Another one says what we'll do, he says, we will hire paid missionaries, and we will train these missionaries, and we will send them out into the far fields of the world, and they will carry our message of recovery to the suffering alcoholic over the world. And another one said, you know what we really ought to do, he says, we ought to take this information that we have learned, and some way we need to preserve this information, and we need to have it preserved so that in the future, people will not change it, and it will not become garbled, and it will not become meaningless.
He said, I don't really know what we ought to do about that, but some way we ought to do that. So they argued, and they talked back and forth, and finally one of them came up with the idea, well, maybe we should write a book. And within this book, we will put the same information that it was necessary for us to know in order to recover from the disease of alcoholism. He said within this book, we will tell people the exact nature of the illness, and within this book, we will tell people the solution necessary to overcome that illness.
And he said within this book, we will show them the plan, the program of action that we have been using in order to recover. Thank God, on all the decisions that were made there at that meeting, only one of them came true. They did write the book. They did not build the hospitals, nor did they hire the missionaries to go out all over the world. Great ideas! But they seemed to have a feeling, even back in those days, Dr. Bob had a feeling that we don't really need to do this other stuff, other people will do it for us.
But an interesting thing is, at that meeting, they voted to do all three. Thank God the big book is the only one that came out of it. They told Bill to write the book. They said, Bill, we want you to write this book. They said, and again, you have to stop and think, here are 40 drunks sitting here, not an author in the bunch, and they have made a decision to write a book. Now then, we've got to decide who in the hell is going to write it.
They said, Bill, you know more about this than the rest of us, because you're the one who started this out there. And they said, besides that, you've been sober longer than any of the rest of us. Now, remember, in 1937, Bill had only been sober about three years, and he couldn't know very much about what was going on. But he had been sober longer than the rest of us, and they said, we want you to write it.
They said, it is not to be your book. They said, this book is to belong to all of us, and they said, it is not to be the story of your life. They said, this is to be the story of all of us, and it is to tell exactly how we recovered from the disease of alcoholism. They said, in this book we're going to share the experience, the knowledge, and the wisdom of all 40 of us. And Bill agreed to do this, and Bill began to write the book.
Now, we know that the book was not produced until 1939. We know that by the time Bill had written the book and that it was ready for production,
[00:40:02]
there was now 100 people in Alcoholics Anonymous rather than 40. From 1937 to 1939, they had grown more than 100 percent. And they only had 100 people in 1939 that was doing the same thing. All of them were finding out what is the problem, all of them were finding out what is the solution, and all of them were finding out the planned program of action, and when they applied it in their lives, they could recover from the disease.
When the big book was written and produced in 1939, it contained exactly the same information that all of these 100 had needed in order to effect their recovery. And what we'd really like to talk about today is how the book is laid out to give us these three basic pieces of information. If we would read and study the big book very carefully, we will find that way back in the beginning of it, we will find in the preface itself where it makes reference to the fact that this is a textbook.
All of us know what a textbook is. We all remember it from our school days. None of us liked textbooks, because a textbook means you've got to read and you've got to study if you're going to learn anything. But you know, a textbook is a teaching tool. And somewhere in our fellowship we have developed an aversion to the word teach. But you know, teaching is a very simple thing. Teaching is nothing more than transmitting ideas.
If you are to teach another human being something, you take an idea in your head, and by either the written word, the spoken word, by gestures or signs or something, you transmit the idea to the mind of another person, and if you do, you have taught them something. And that's all teaching is. And that's what a textbook does. So a textbook assumes that the person who is going to use it knows very little about the subject matter.
A textbook always starts at the beginning in a very simple form, and it teaches you information in the first chapter. And as you learn that information, that prepares you for harder information in the second chapter. And as you learn the information in the second chapter, then that in turn gives you ideas for the third chapter. I always like to talk a little bit about this textbook on the idea that, let's say my friend Joe, who you just met, I just love him to pieces, he's my buddy, he's my favorite guy.
Let's say Joe can't add and subtract. Let's say Joe knows nothing about mathematics at all. The only thing, Joe can count and that's all. You know, if he's standing there naked, he can count up to 21, providing everything is in the right place. I said that one day, and Joe looked at me and he said, no, Charlie, 20 and a half, that's all we can do. Now, let's assume Joe knows nothing about mathematics, and I walk up to Joe and I hand Joe a textbook on mathematics, and I say, Joe, there's problems in chapter 5 dealing with algebra.
And I want you to go to that chapter 5 and work those problems dealing with algebra. Joe opens the book up and he looks at the algebra problems and there is just so much Greek to him. All he does is close the book, lay it on the shelf, and walk off. But if I say, Joe, here's a textbook dealing with mathematics and chapter 1 deals with addition and subtraction. If you will read it and study it and ask questions, by the time you're through with chapter 1 you should be able to answer the sample problems at the end of that chapter.
And sure enough, Joe follows this procedure and he learns how to add and subtract. And then I say, now Joe, chapter 2 deals with multiplication and division. Based on what you learned in 1, you now should be able to absorb the new information in 2 and learn how to multiply and divide, and Joe does that. And then I say, now 3 deals with fractions and decimals, and gradually we lead him through the book and then we get to chapter 5 and we say, now you can work these algebra problems.
We think one of the greatest mistakes being made today in AA is that the newcomer walks in the door and we hand him the big book and we say, go to chapter 5 and do what it says and you'll be all right. And he goes to chapter 5 and he opens it up to the algebra problems and there is so much brief to him. You know, it says you're going to have to admit you're powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable.
Well, hell, he never admitted he's powerless over nothing. How can he admit this if he doesn't know his opinion, which happens to be in the beginning of the book? If we would read and study the doctor's opinion, the first chapter in the book, we would find all the information necessary to begin to understand our disease of alcoholism. All the information necessary to begin to see what the problem really is.
Here's where we find out about the allergy. Here's where we find out about the obsession of the mind. Here's where we find out that men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol, not because they love the taste, because they Used by alcohol not because they love the taste. Because they they love the effect produced by alcohol. Here's where we see that whenever we're sober, we're restless and we're irritable and we're discontented.
[00:45:01]
And we don't like that feeling and we run around that way until we can again experience a sense of ease and comfort that comes at once by taking a few drinks. This thing that leads us back to the bottle over, and over, and over, and over again. Here's where we see the exact nature of the illness in the Doctor's Opinion. And we told the guy to go to Chapter 5 and do what it said. And he don't even know what's wrong with him yet unless he studies the Doctor's Opinion.
As he studies the Doctor's Opinion, he begins for the first time in his life to see what his problem really is. You remember, when this book was written, there was only three little groups. And this book was going to go out and begin to go out to people all over the United States and Canada. The guys out in California, those in Toronto, those down in Florida, those down in Texas, they were not going to see Bill and Bob in the first 100.
Their 12-step call would have to be the big book. Bill and Bob would not be there to explain the exact nature of the illness, so the book had to do it for them. And that's why the Doctor's Opinion is in the beginning of the book, to tell them exactly what's wrong with them, exactly what Dr. Silkworth told Bill. After we see what the problem is in the book, we then pick up a pattern that's followed all the way through the book.
We see an example of the problem. In Bill's story, we see a fellow who has suffered the same thing that Dr. Silkworth has described in the Doctor's Opinion. And at the same time, we see Bill suffering from this disease, and we see his progression of the disease. We also begin to see Bill recovering from this disease. We believe in Bill's story, we not only see the example of alcoholism, but we begin to see the recovery for the purpose of perhaps, maybe, it will build up a little hope in us.
Remember that guy in California, he's never going to see that first 100. The only alcoholic he was going to get to talk to were these in the book. And Bill's story is there for that guy to identify with. Today, if you and I go out on a 12-step call, we sit down with an alcoholic. We don't talk to him about his drinking, we talk to him about our drinking. We explain to him our illness and our recovery and what we had to do and etc.
Well, the big book does exactly the same thing. In Bill's story, we see another alcoholic's illness and we can identify with Bill. Most people say, a lot of people say they can't identify with Bill. But I really believe we all could if we read it and look for identification. Some people say, I can't identify with him because he's a night school lawyer. Another one says because he's a stockbroker. Another one says because he's a Yankee, I can't identify with him, you know.
But any of us in reading Bill's story can find all the identification we need in the feelings and the things that went through Bill's head. We also see Bill begin to start this recovery and I begin to think, yeah, that guy's enough like me that there is a possibility that if he could recover, maybe I could too. And after it's taken me to the point of belief that it shows me exactly what I'm going to have to do, it shows me the solution.
It takes me to chapter 2. And in chapter 2, we see that we have a twofold solution. In the beginning of chapter 2, it talks about the fellowship of alcoholic synonyms. It talks about how we are bound together by this feeling of having escaped from the common peril of alcoholism. And it says this feeling of having escaped from the common peril of alcoholism is one of the powerful elements in the cement which binds us together.
And I believe today this is true. This is what we're sharing here this morning. We have a lot of fun together in AA. We do a lot of laughing and a lot of cutting up and a lot of telling jokes and a lot of drinking coffee and a lot of peeing and all that that goes on with our fellowship. And I don't think we could exist without it. But my book warns me on the first page of chapter 2 that that alone is not enough.
It says the great fact is that we have discovered a common solution, a solution upon which we can join together in brotherly and harmonious action. And it says this is the great news that this book has to carry to those who suffer from alcoholism. And a few pages later, after it's described this great fellowship the way it does, it begins to point out to me what the solution is. It tells me that we are people who are unable to recall to our mind with sufficient force the suffering and the pain and the humiliation of the last drunk.
And so it seems as though when we've reached that stage, we have placed ourselves beyond human power. And the fellowship is human power. So therefore, if we've placed ourselves beyond human power, then the real solution will have to lie in something other than just fellowship. And it begins to describe the solution. It says there is a solution. It says almost none of us like the self-searching and everything necessary to bring this about.
But it says if we can pick up this simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet, that we will have a deep and effective spiritual experience.
[00:50:00]
And so the deep and effective spiritual experience will bring about a change in attitudes and ideas and emotions sufficient to recover from the disease of alcoholism. And most of us don't know what a spiritual experience is, you know. We think we do, but we don't. I have one little story I love to tell about spiritual experience. I learned about one in my church years and years ago. My church is one of those where we have revival meetings.
And we call in the best preacher in the country for the revival meeting. And we went to this one this night, and the preacher had laid it out, and the hellfire and brimstone was so thick you could smell it in the room, you know. And he called for the altar call, and my great Aunt Molly, my tall, slender Aunt Molly, went to the altar call. And she kneeled at the kneeling bench, and the preacher's hand was on her head, and all of a sudden Aunt Molly fell over on the floor, and she began to jerk and kick.
And then she began to speak in a language I'd never heard. And she jumped up, and she began to run back and forth through the church house, jumping over the pews, and her skirt tail never touching the top. I'm nine years old, scared the hell out of me. And I turned to Dad, and I said, Dad, what in the world is wrong with Aunt Molly? And he said, Son, I believe she's having a spiritual experience. And I read in chapter two in the big book where I've got to have one, and I said, hell, there ain't no way.
Now, in the first book, the first printing, the red book, the big red book, the first edition, we were left with our ideas of what a spiritual experience was. And I'm afraid if I had been reading it to that point, I believe I would have stopped, and I said, I can't buy this stuff at all. Because my mind was closed based upon what Aunt Molly had had in the church. Thank God they recognized it in later editions, and they put a little asterisk out there at the side of deep and effective spiritual experience.
And most drunks don't read asterisks, you know. That asterisk says, go to the bottom of the page. And the bottom of the page, it says, further explained in appendix two. And I went back to appendix two, page 569, I believe. I don't make any difference what the page is. It was appendix two, dealing with spiritual experience. And I read about their interpretation of a spiritual experience, and I found out it ain't nothing like Aunt Molly had.
It said, a spiritual experience is nothing more than a personality change sufficient to recover from the disease of alcoholism. And it said, it said, sometimes it'll happen to us fast and sometimes slow. And if it's fast, we'll call it a spiritual experience. And if it's slow, we'll call it a spiritual awakening. But it said, doesn't make any difference when it happens, as long as it happens. And it says, we will become aware of the fact when it's happened, when we know that we have tapped an unsuspected inner resource of strength that we now identify with a power greater than ourself.
Now, I can buy that kind of talking, see? So I said, well, maybe this solution is not so bad. Maybe it's not so bad. Then I went to chapter three, more about alcoholism. Chapter three, more about alcoholism. It told me exactly what I needed to recover from. You know, chapter two says, we came to believe that a power greater than ourself could restore us to sanity. And when I read sanity, I thought they meant all the crazy insane things that I do after I start drinking.
Today, I realize that's not what they mean. The crazy insane things I do after I start drinking is not caused by insanity. It's caused by a mind filled with a sedative drug called alcohol. Lowers the inhibitions, let me do all them things I like to do that I can't do when I'm sober, you know? I found out that sanity and insanity is nothing more than the ability to see the truth. And in chapter three, more about alcoholism, it shows me in examples, time after time after time, the state of the mind immediately preceding the first drink.
And the state of the mind immediately preceding the first drink cannot see the truth. It shows me examples of people who swore off drinking, said, I'll never take another drink as long as I live. Joe and I think that ought to be our national anthem, never take another drink as long as I live. These people would swear off, and then after a while, the mind would forget they can't drink. And the mind would say such things, well, I could take whiskey with a glass of milk, because I'm taking it on a full stomach.
And everything would, now that's a lie. That's the inability to see the truth. It says such things as, golly, a couple of cocktails would be good before dinner, and with no more thought than that, we take them. It gives me example after example after example of the insanity of alcoholism. They convinced me in chapter three that I've got to have this spiritual experience. I've got to have the power greater than I am in order to live.
Chapter four, I think, is one of the greatest things that's ever been written, period, for people like us. It shows us the differences between atheists and agnostics. It shows us the difference between that kind of thinking and the kind of thinking that people who have depended upon God, that have faith in God, what the differences are. And thank God it's a little spiritual kindergarten, which shows me to get from my agnostic inclination to that of becoming a true believer.
[00:55:01]
And it gives me examples in, we agnostics, that the only thing I've got to do is just believe to begin. And it talks to me about Columbus and shows what Columbus accomplished on belief. And it tells me about the Wright brothers and shows me what the Wright brothers accomplished on belief. It shows me there's a certain pattern you need to follow to do things. It says you've got to believe first, and then you've got to decide, and then you've got to take action.
And if you believe and decide and take action, then you get results. And that's what Columbus did. He believed, and he decided, and he took action, and he got results. And that's what the Wright brothers did. They believed, they decided, they took action, and they got results. The second time Columbus went back overseas, he didn't go on belief. He went on faith. He knew where he was going. The second airplane the Wright brothers built, they didn't build it on belief.
They built it on faith. They knew what they could do. And the book is saying to me, Charlie, all you've got to have is just believe. And he said, the book says, in fact, you don't even have to believe. It says you've just got to be willing to believe. You know, this thing is so strong that just a damn suspicion that it might work were there, of course, you know. And after it gets through telling me about that, it has now explained to me what the problem is.
It did that in the doctor's opinion in Bill's story. It's now explained to me what the solution is. It showed it to me in chapters two, three, and four. Four showed me a simple, little, easy way. And in five, it begins to give me the planned program of action. You know, the great thing about five is it don't start with steps one and two. It starts with three. When you read how it works in the big book, you become aware of three pertinent ideas.
It says, our description of the alcoholic. That's the doctor's opinion. The chapter of the agnostic, that's chapter four. And our personal adventures before and after. That's Bill's story. Those in the back of the book have been designed to sell you. The original manuscript said, sell you three pertinent ideas. A, that you're alcoholic and cannot manage your own life. That's step one. B, that probably no human power could have relieved your alcoholism.
And that's step two. And C, that God could and would if he sought. And that's the rest of step two. And it said it in the original book. It said, if you are aware of these three pertinent ideas, now you can go on to three. But it said, if you're not, you better reread the book to this point, or else throw it away, one of the two. It's apparent that the doctor's opinion and the first four chapters were designed to teach us the information necessary for us to draw the conclusions necessary for steps one and two.
You know, there's no work involved in one and two. They're simply conclusions of the mind. We're powerless over alcohol. Our life has become manageable, and we came to believe that a power greater than ourself can restore us to sanity. And if we're aware of those two ideas, for the first time we see where we are, we're powerless. We see where we ought to be, a power greater than we are. And then chapter five shows you how to get from a state of power to a state of powerlessness, to a state of power from one to two.
And it begins to lay out a planned program of action. Steps three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine. You know, as we make our decision in three, we turn our will and our life over to the care of God as our understanding. Our decision is made to do that. We're going to let him be the director of our thinking. Thank God, if he directs my thinking, my actions become better. Left on my own thinking, they'll never become any better.
I decided to let God be the director of my life. In step four, it was necessary for me to look to see what would block me off from God's thinking. What is within me that is created by self that keeps God's will from entering my mind? And I take step four in my inventory, and I find those things. I find my defects. I find my selfishness, my self-centeredness, my dishonesty, my fear, my inconsideration of other people, and et cetera.
In step five, I become willing, and it tells me that if I'm not willing, I may need to ask God to give me the strength to be willing. You know, we hear all the time about the third-step prayer. We hear all the time about the seventh-step prayer. We very seldom hear about the fourth step, the fifth step, the eighth step, the ninth step, the ten-step prayers. Every step in the book has got prayer in it.
Every step recognizes we're trying to get rid of self. Every step recognizes that self cannot overcome self. But God created self, and the only way self can be overcome is with the power of the maker, the creator himself. Only God can overcome self. And it asks me to pray in each of those steps to become willing in five. And then when I become willing in five, I ask him to take it away from me. And I become, excuse me, I disgust it with another human being in five.
And then I become willing in six, and then I ask God to take it away in seven. You know, and if God begins to remove these character defects from me, for the first time I'm beginning to get a little straight in my mind. Then it says now I need to straighten myself out with the rest of… Then it says, now I need to straighten myself up with the rest of the world, and I take steps eight and nine, I become willing to make amends, and I start making amends, and again, prayer in each of those steps.
After I have completed nine, I receive the promises.
[01:00:02]
Now, we hear people reading the promises to the newcomer today, when he first comes in the door, before he's ever taken three. They come after nine. If we have received the promises, we like to believe that we've probably straightened ourselves up in all three dimensions of life. Mankind is a tri-dimensional creature. He is spiritual, he is mental, and he has a physical, sociological relationship with the world, his body, and everything in it.
And in one, two, and three, we straighten ourselves up with the spirit. And in four, five, six, and seven, we straighten ourselves up with the mind. And in eight and nine, we straighten ourselves up in our physical, sociological relationship. And for the first time, we become true, tri-dimensional creatures. Now, we have effected a recovery from the disease at the end of step nine. If we read the promises, the promises all deal with the attitudes of the mind.
And it shows where we've had a complete personality change if we receive the promises. Then in step ten, eleven, and twelve, we grow further. You know, most people say that those are designed to maintain, and we don't believe that. We don't believe you can maintain anything in this universe. Everything is either living or dying, it's going forward or going back. There's nothing that stays the same.
Step ten tells me, it shows me it's a growth step. Step eleven says we improve our conscious contact with God. They don't say maintenance, they're talking about growth and improvement. Then when I get to twelve, I receive the greatest thing I can have. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. What is the spiritual awakening? A personality change sufficient to recover from the disease of alcoholism.
Now, hopefully those of us that have had it can now do the second part of twelve. We can carry this message of the recovery and the steps to those who are still suffering from the disease. The one who now knows can go back and help the new one come to believe. The big book is outlined exactly like Bill in the first 100 recovered. It gives us the problem, it gives us a solution, it gives us a planned program of action, and as the result we receive exactly what they did.
Now, one thing today that we hate to see happening within our fellowship. In 1939, when the book was published, the fellowship had no name. The fellowship was known as the drunk squads of the Oxford groups. In 1939, the fellowship decided to take their name from the book. The book had been named Alcoholics Anonymous. In 1939, there was two Alcoholics Anonymouses. A fellowship of 100 people and a book called Alcoholics Anonymous.
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, there was a planned program of recovery with all the information necessary to recover. Those in the fellowship had used that program in that book, and the two Alcoholics Anonymouses were the same. And their effective recovery in those days, immediately 50% recovered, the other half went out and drank, 25% came back and recovered, 75% recovered. That's when the fellowship and the book had the same program.
Now, over the years, I'm afraid the fellowship has grown a little bit away from the book. You know, we're beginning to say things now like you don't need to work the steps if you don't want to. You can treat this as a cafeteria style, take what you want, leave what you want. 90 meetings in 90 days will do the job. Just keep coming to meetings long enough, you'll soak her up, osmosis, you'll be okay.
Now, those are all fellowship ideas. Now, I wonder what our recovery rate would be today compared to what it was in 1939. I don't believe 75% of the new people coming in AA today are recovering from the disease. And we've got to believe that maybe the fellowship, their program is a little different than what's in the book. If we could get back to the same program and the fellowship that we have in the book, then chances are we could expect the same recovery.
And that's all I've got to say. Thank you. We're going to open up now. We've got 20 minutes for questions, discussion, comments, anything anybody wants to say or ask. Peaky and I will try to answer any questions, and if we can't, we'll get old Joe up here and Joe will help us answer. If anybody has a question, try and get one of those microphones because we would like to get it all on tape. Is this live?
My name is Joan and I'm an alcoholic. My question about the big book is the question I get from people I sponsor, and maybe you could help me out. And that is, why is step six and seven so briefly mentioned in the big book? Why is there so little about six and seven? Why can't we just skip it?
[01:05:01]
I'm quoting the people I sponsor. Your people are asking you why you can't skip it? Well, there's so little in the big book that it can't have been very important. OK, because it's a simple fact. I'll just read those two steps to you. The step says, six, we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. And step seven says, humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. Now, anybody knows what Bill Wilson was doing.
He used two or three different words to explain the same set of circumstances. Therefore, he's looking at shortcomings and defects of character and all of these things being one and the same thing. So what we are doing up to this point in time, when we get finished step five, we should be at a point where we know where our defects of character are. You've got a list that you were making back in step four, if you do your inventory according to the book.
And so when we get to this point in time, all we are doing is becoming entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. Remember, you aren't removing the defects of character. God is removing the defects of character. So you're entirely ready to have that happen in your life. In other words, the preparation up to this time has been thorough, sincere, and fearful, and everything else. So now when we get to seven, we became entirely ready.
Now in step seven, we get down on our knees, which humbly suggests to me, at least. I don't know how other people interpret the word humbly. But humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. So we say, God, you have all of me. Take away all these things and get rid of them. So therefore, that is a preparation step. You're asking for God's help in your life. And so you can't take them out. They have to be there.
They're an essential part of the program. Thank you. I hope that's on tape. It is. Hi, I'm Peter. I'm an addict and an alcoholic. It was really good to hear you. I got so much out of what you said. I completely identified. And I know I'll get right to my question. But it's just like I got so much out of what you said about contrasting the fellowship and the program recovery described in this book. And it was just dynamite.
Anyway, my question is, and I sort of, I mean, if I believe what the book says, I don't even have to ask you. But I just, sort of, for personal experience. As soon as a person is willing to make those mental, whatever you said that they were, those conclusions, one and two, and is willing to make a decision, you know, no matter where that is, say he gets in the second day, you guys start him right on the work of this decision and the inventory, or is there a time that you wait?
Say a guy says that he's willing, you know, he knows he's an alcoholic and can't manage his own life, and he knows no human power could, you know, remove his alcoholism, and he is willing to see God. Do you do this formal, and I don't know if this is a proper question to ask, but do you do this formal third step with him and get him going on an inventory? Sure, sure. I normally, a lot of people ask me to take a third step with them.
Right. And if they do, fine, we get down and we get on our knees and we use the prayer for something similar to that. But then the book tells me at the bottom of page 63, next we launched out on a vigorous, on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal house cleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision, referring to three, was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face and to be rid of the things in ourselves.
And we've always looked at that at once. You know, he didn't say 38 days or a night, he just said at once. Right, right. And we believe when a fellow makes his decision and takes step three, if he is sincere, at that time his mind is open and God is already beginning to work, and it's time for him to at once get into the inventory process. If he puts it off, the longer he puts it off, the harder it is to take.
Then we begin to procrastinate. Then, with our perfectionism, we want to make it exactly perfect. We want to be sure that we've done it exactly right, you know. So, yeah, right now. Okay, great. Immediately. Thank you. My name is Donna Taylor and I'm a recovering alcoholic and dope fiend from Los Angeles, California. I'd like to know, isn't it time, in lieu of the social period that we live in, in my neck of the woods, most of the newcomers, starting with myself, of course, that come in now are poly-abusers.
You know, I haven't met anybody in quite a while who has come into our meetings who is just an alcoholic. Okay? In the doctor's opinion, it isn't stressed, my sponsor never stressed it to me, that Dr. Silkworth was an authority on alcoholism and drug addiction. That's in the book. It is also stated in the book that Bill Wilson was also involved with narcotics.
[01:10:01]
That is, I believe, his brother-in-law issued to him. Then he was also given the belladonna treatment, which is a drug, which is a narcotic. I would like to, I guess my question is, is it not high time that that information be kind of talked about a lot? The only answer that I can possibly give is in our session today, we are here strictly to look at and talk about what is within the big book. And this is getting us into an area which is really not related to our subject matter today.
You know, we're talking about policy decisions and future literature that's going to be put out. Certainly in the big book, it will never be put in. It's already in the big book. Well, I mean any more than what already is, because there will probably never be any further changes to the book. So I really don't want to get into that here, because that is not the subject matter. The subject matter is the book.
Hi, my name is Marvella and I'm an alcoholic. Well, I have a question. I had a man, I was like the first lady. A gentleman came to me and asked me the question. He said, where in the big book does it say, when I take my fourth step, do I have to write down my assets and my liabilities? And I said, nowhere it says. And he said, well, how did this get started then? And I said, well, I don't know. I've read the big book over and over and it says, you know, just exactly what we're to do.
And I was wondering where this came about. So I can take it back and tell him. Okay. Now, I'm just going to make a brief comment here. As we go back over a period of time, and I presume this may apply to a lot of people. Over periods of time, we hear people talking about doing their fourth step inventories. Now, all they sat down, somebody said, well, write a list of the six or seven deadly sins and classify yourself in there.
Write yourself a little story of what happened in your life and let it go at that. All of this sort of thing. But you're asking me a question. Where does it tell you about this thing? Well, we look at page 64, 65 and things like that in the big book. And it starts down here. It says that in dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. Over on the next page, it says I'm resentful at so and so. It says the cause of the resentment.
And then it says he affects what. What instincts are being affected? So this is where you're looking at these things. And then if you follow this up and you put yourself a little column at the far end of that after you have done this. And you write down all these things. Because of the fact that he stumbled by a toe this morning and things like that and got on my desk to get to the point of what people put in their inventories.
But it's getting to that point. But just as an example, we say that, well, some guy, your supervisor or whatever, I'm mad as hell at him. He kicked me on the shins this morning and I'm going to get even type of a thing. This is the things you're going to list. So you look at the things, the kind of instincts that are affected by it. Is it affecting your self-esteem? Is it affecting you? And you have these columns.
And then at the end of all of this here particular thing, you say, where am I at fault? And if you look at these type of pictures that this here inventory is going to present to you, you will have everything that you will ever have to know. You'll have the most comprehensive picture of you that you ever thought could exist. And so as it says here on page 64, and it says, we set them on paper. We listed them.
And then you're going to find in the next number of pages, you're going to see many, many references to the idea. We list it. We put on paper. We check back on our list. And if you do it according to this book, very few people that I've seen up until a few years ago here, done it according to the book. Sit down for some time and take a look at that. And if we do that, and you have to list all the things.
We ask ourselves where we're angry. And we find that what esteems were being bothered. And then we look at another list and we set up a grudge list. Say, who the hell was it I'm mad at? And you have fears. They're all categorized the same thing. Maybe Charlie will elaborate on that. Nowhere have we been able to find that it says we made a list of assets. I'm sure that we have alcoholics who are the despondent type person that needs to look at the good things.
But with most of us, most of us are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. And I don't need to look at my assets. I've always known what they are. It does tell me on page 65. It does tell me on page 64, though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless once followed by a strenuous effort to face and be rid of the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.
So what it's really saying is we're going to look at what we need to take away.
[01:15:03]
Liabilities. I think the assets came from the fact that we… The Big Book four-step inventory is a little confusing. And in our search for a simpler, easier way, we've turned to other people. And we've had some organizations come out with inventory sheets that we've tried to use. And we've tried to use that inventory sheet and the Big Book and another inventory sheet and we've confused ourselves and our heads.
The liability thing came from the other sources, not from the Big… I mean the asset thing, excuse me, came from other sources, not from the Big Book. I find nowhere in here that it tells me to look at my assets. It does tell me to look at the things that I've got to get rid of, the things that are objectionable in my character, the things that block me off from God's will. And that's my defects, my shortcomings.
Okay? My name is Joe McCoy and I'm an alcoholic. I believe the assets and liabilities statement comes out of the 12 and 12, which is fine. But Charlie, if you will, for just a moment on this four-step inventory, you and I have discussed this idea about the inventory example on page 65, I believe, of writing one column at a time. If you would get into that just a little bit, I think that would help us here.
That's kind of hard to do without… Joe is referring to page 65 in the book, which is Bill's example of the inventory. I think the thing that's created so much problem with our inventory is the fact that page 65 is filled out, and we don't know how he filled it out. Now, he wrote in here he's mad at Mr. Brown and that caused his attention to my wife and told my wife about my mistress, and it affected his sex relations and his self-esteem.
Hell, I don't blame him. I'd be mad at Mr. Brown, too, if I were him. And we're left-to-right people. Everything we do is left-to-right, left-to-right. We read that way, we write that way. We assume that Bill put down Mr. Brown and then his attention to my wife, and then that it affected his sex relations. We assume that he filled those three columns out from left to right. We think that if you took a blank sheet of paper and you headed it up with three columns, I'm resentful at the cause and affects my.
Then you make a list of the people, places, and institutions with whom you're angry. The resentful list, the left-hand column, starts from top to bottom. Rather than change our mind three times, let's go from top to bottom. While we're thinking about resentments, let's list all resentments at one time. Then the center column, the causes, let's list all the causes at one time. And then affects my, let's list that all at one time.
Let's keep our mind on one factor at a time, filling the columns out from top to bottom. Joe and I have been doing this for a long time, and it seems to work real good. Everybody can make a list of resentments, and then they can make a list of the causes. But if you go from left to right, you get confused. You have to change from resentment to cause, affects my, and somewhere in there we get confused.
Let's try, maybe, maybe, you know, maybe we might try going from top to bottom. And those of us that have been doing that, it seems to be working real good, concentrating on each column one at a time. Question? I'm Mary, an alcoholic. My question has to do with step two, and when we're through step two, then being ready to move to step three. And I've heard it said many times it's quite common to say that you can adopt the AA group, or your sponsor, or somebody other than you as a higher power for purposes of the program in the early days.
And I just wonder how much you require, because it says, the third C says, God could and would if he were sought. And by that time it's become God. I mean that there is a power greater than yourself, and it's really not a definable power, so to speak, not a chair. How much do you require of the people that you sponsor in the way of resolution of this? I had to get to the point where I would say God is everything or he is nothing.
And I had to stop thinking it was the AA group or a chair or whatever, and just come down to it, was there a power or wasn't there? And then I was able to move on and be on my knees and turn my life and will over. But I don't want to beat my sponsor even to the ground on, you know, what do you believe? I'd really like your thoughts. I think until, in my own personal life, until I finally accepted the fact that it is God, and he either is or he isn't, that's when I really began to get results.
But I had to have a way to cross the bridge from being an agnostic or an atheist to a true believer. And the atheist says God doesn't exist. And if I'm going to insist that the atheist believe that he exists, then I'll cut the atheist off right there. We have people in this world who believe in such things as the Great Spirit.
[01:20:00]
Not God as we understand him, but the Great Spirit. Some say Confucius, some say Yahweh, some say Jehovah, some say Mohammed. We've got to allow a way to get from there to here. And I think the real beginning is where we recognize that we're powerless. Then we begin to believe there is a power greater than ourselves. And in the beginning, those of us that are troubled with God and spirituality and religion, as long as we recognize there's a power greater than ourself, that is the beginning point.
You know, the book really says to believe or even be willing to believe. Then as we begin to progress, then somewhere that belief changes. You know, mine changed absolutely to God as I understand him. And most people do. But we've got to allow a transition process in there somewhere. Do you have your people moving on to step three and the further steps even before they're in that transition? Sure do. I say if this God thing bothers you, you let the group be your higher power.
You let me be your higher power. You let whatever you want be your higher power. The main thing is to recognize there is a power. And that power can give you direction in your life. And in effect, the group can give better direction than what he's been receiving. So the group is a power greater than he is as far as that's concerned. And then gradually, I think for most of us, we've been able to make the transition from the group or whatever we decided was the power over to God as we understand him, or whatever we call God.
We've got to be a little careful. We can cut them off at the pass if we're too strict in this area. And I think everybody has to be able to develop some fast, some slow. Okay. We've got time for one more question, then we have to quit. Hi, Charlie. I'm an alcoholic, West Palm Beach. My name is Prior. In dealing with sex in the fourth step… I knew somebody would get to it. Okay. It says we reviewed our conduct over the past.
Where have we been selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate? Whom do we hurt? Do we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness? Where are we at fault? What should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper. In this way, we tried to shape a sane ideal for the future. Does that mean that what should we have done instead goes down on paper also? Uh… I don't know. I'll be honest with you, I really don't know.
We're having difficulties in this area. As a lot of you know, we've been trying to develop this little sheet made exactly like the book. And we're having trouble there too. We really don't know. And, Prior, that's the best answer I can give you. Thanks, Charles. I should have said this at the beginning of the meeting. I'll say it now. We do not speak for AA as a whole. You are certainly free to agree or disagree with anything we say as you see fit.
In fact, we would recommend you pay no attention to anything we've said that cannot be reconciled with what's in the big book. We know only a little bit about it. We simply attempt to share what little bit we know. We do not consider ourselves to be gurus or experts. We're just AA members who are alcoholics that are trying to find a way to live and be peaceful and happy and sober. Thank you all for being here.
I think he'll run the next session. We're going to close with the Lord's Prayer. Yeah, I'd just like to thank all of you for being here. It's a real gratifying thing to see so many people here at our big book sessions. I hope everybody is getting something out of them, and we will carry on today. For those who wish, would you please help in closing the meeting with the Lord's Prayer?