Well, you know, this is a, a moment that, um, a time that I was looking forward to Friday, Thursday night when I was so tired that I didn't think that I could go for another, for an, an extra day or, or two days that was l- ahead of me. But now that it's here, it's kind of like I've been re-energized, and I'm ready to go for another week. Not really. But, um, when we asked this, um, this gentleman, our speaker for this morning, to, to come, uh, he's very special to me. Uh, in fact, um, he was, uh, the person that I did my fifth step with. He came here, um, for other reasons, but, uh, somehow or another, God brought him here. Um, and I believe this, that there are no accidents. And he saw the pain that I was in and suggested that I do my fourth and fifth step. And as I shared my story, when I talked about my step, my fourth step, and how, um, how I would get nauseated in my s- at my stomach, and I would get sick, and I'd almost wanna throw up, and I didn't understand it. But I completed my fourth step, and, and then I needed to, I needed… M- And one of my coworkers said, "Patty, you need to get rid of that stuff." And so this man was in town, and I hunted him down. And, um, I left messages at his motel room. I went to the, to the place where I thought he was at and talked to a, uh, pastor here in town, and he said, "Well, Patty, he's gone to eat dinner with a, a family here in Cherokee, but I don't know when he's coming back. I don't know anything." So I went to his motel room and left a note, "Call me when you get in." So he called, he called me, and I asked him, it was on Friday night, I asked him if he would hear my fifth step, and he said he would. And so, uh, I proceeded to go and, and do my fifth step with him, and it took me about five hours to do it, and I truly believe that, um, that a miracle occurred in my life. It was at this point in my life that, uh, I believe that, uh, through his guidance, that God lifted all of the garbage outside, uh, uh, inside of me, took it away. And the words that he said to me, excuse me, the words he said to me was, um, um, "Patty," he said, "you'll never have to look back. You can walk forward, and you won't ever have to look back." And in h- in the Big Book, it talks about not, not living in the past but wishing not to shut the door on it either. And that's what allows me and gives me the courage and the strength to stand before you and sh- and share my story. And it, and it was through, it was through this man that God worked in my life in the most powerful transformation that one could experience because I know that because of that experience, I've not ever been the same. I know that I'm a different person than what I was prior to doing my fourth and fifth step. And with that, I'd like to introduce you to, uh, uh, introduce our speaker for this last day of our convention, Mr. Jim Henson. He is a cert- international certified alcohol and drug counselor. He's, is a member of the United Keetoowah Band, assistant chief, and he lives in Sallisaw, Oklahoma. His wife, Sue, is with him. He has been a member of AA for twenty-three years, eleven months, and thirteen days. He is, um, a minister and an evangelist, a spiritual leader for the tribal band. He's a substance abuse counselor of twenty-two years. He likes to travel and do workshops, and he, and, and he very much enjoys the Creator's creation. Please give a warm welcome to Mr. Jim Henson. I don't know if this– Is this thing on? I kind of, kind of feel like an F- NFL, uh, referee. Uh, I see them punching this thing on every once in a while. Uh, it is, it's indeed a pleasure to be here with you. It's not only a pleasure, but it's, uh, it's an honor because for us to enjoy the sobriety that we have, as it was mentioned a moment ago, says God could, God would, if He were sought. And the thing that we have a big, big stumbling area with is the area of if. A lot of times, if allows us to stay in denial, to continue dys- our dysfunctional behavior. But if we absolutely come to that point where God is permitted once again to give you a foundation From that point, growth and sobriety can begin. Because at that point, as Patty shared with you, I've always said wherever I've gone that our paths have crossed many times. But the first time I met her, I know just as you and I have, the first time we begin to look at our lives and see what our lives have become and what experiences have been in our lives, we came to that point where we needed to make a decision, and that decision was to change. Change. And when you sought changes, you sought them in many different ways because the big book says we seek for a softer, easier way. We try to incorporate our way. And friends, I wanna share with you in a very humble and a very honest way, your way won't work. It's got to be God's way. Without God, it is impossible for you and I to have the serenity, to have the joy, to have the peace, and the love that we have been experiencing, and I know that love has existed. I wanna thank Patty for– and the committee for the invitation to come. I wanna thank each of you for coming and sharing your energies with us. It's always energizing to come and share with folk who are in commonality with you, who have been there, who can say, "Now I know what it means to enjoy serenity." With that, I'd like for you to join me just for a moment. My ancestors taught me, my grandfather said, "Always when you come before a people, before an audience, before Creator, that you always give Creator the number one place in whatever you do. Regardless of what you do, let Him be number one, and all else then will follow." I don't want to be any different this morning. I'm going to ask you to stand with me, if you will, and I'm going to approach the Creator. And I want you in your own way to send your energies to someone, somewhere that you know, that you're acquainted with, that is still hurting, that still needs you, that still needs your energies. If you'll bow your heads with me just for a moment. My grandfather said to approach Creator in a very humble way. I wanna humble myself before you and before Creator, and I wanna go before Him. I want to honor Him, honor you with a song, and then with a prayer. Creator, thank you for the blessings. And as we pray, Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done in earth. Oh, Heavenly Father, we're the creation of you. We are the earth that walks. We are the earth that speaks. Creator, come into our lives and abode, and strengthen our hearts, and give us a heart that is yours and liken akin to yours. Creator, we are creation. We groaneth and travaileth daily. We are weak, and we are feeble, in need of your strength. Creator, come to abide with us this morning. Let your heart descend. As we look unto the hills from which our help cometh, Creator, let your heart, your spirit descend upon us in this valley. And help us to be strong in our words that we speak to our clients, in our words that we speak to our families, in our words that we speak to each others as friends. Oh, Creator, help us not to let our own learned and developed words be the forerunner, but oh, Creator, let your words that come to our heart speak through us, your love, your joy, and your peace. Creator, be with us this morning. We invite you to come to abode with us. We're excited about you, Creator, because you've given us sobriety. You've given us, again, a sense of worth, a sense of value. Thank you, Creator, for that. And now, Creator, we release all things and ask that you receive it. And bless us as we meet together. We pray in the most honorable way we know and give you praise. Amen. Aho. You may be seated. I want to also send a blessing to each one of you. We talked about, and last night you were smudged with sweetgrass, a very sacred, a very blessed way of sharing Creator's almighty love with you. The Indian population, and especially the Cherokee population who were transplanted from this area to the western part of the United States or central part of the United States to Oklahoma, we all have a connection. We all have a love. And no matter where you go, you will run into Indians that will have pollen, the pollen of tobacco, the pollen of sage, the pollen of sweetgrass. They will have the pollen of cedar. And these are used in many different fashion. They have a representation that is, again, connecting us to the Mother Earth, as we call it. And a lot of people look at us and say, "Mother Earth? How do you get that?" Well, you can go back in history, and you can go back in genealogy, and you'll find that man was created out of dust, the dust of the earth. Man came from the dust of the earth, and therefore, the earth was the mother of all humanity. And therefore, we don't give homage to the earth for that, but we give thanks to Mother Earth because that's the beginning of the life in the flesh that you and I share. The cedar, if you'll remember, is a cedar tree that is evergreen. It's an evergreen tree. It has a sweet aroma. It has a sweetness about it. But if you'll notice, the cedar tree, it never ceases unless it snows or ice comes upon it or some natural type of, uh, environmental affect may come upon it. The cedar is always standing, praising the Creator. It's always with its branches up. And not only is it sweet in its aroma, but it is also praising and staying evergreen, presenting to you and I the ever- dream that you and I have of having a long life, an everlasting life, but always creating, giving Creator the praise. Tobacco is used by the Indians as a sacred pollen. Again, like many people use wine, many people use wafers, bread, again, in representation. The Indians use the pollen of tobacco. Again, to the Indian, tobacco is sacred. It is one of the sacred sacraments that still is maintained by the traditional leaders. But if you'll notice, tobacco is one of the most abused drug that we have in America. But our traditional people hold tobacco to be in very high esteem because, again, it represents a very sacred thing for us when we offer pollen on the drum, in the fire, or whatever we do. The sweetgrass has a representation also, and it is also sweet. And again, like I said last night, you experienced the sage. So this morning, my blessing to you for being here and for inviting me and allowing me to share in your energies and in your life. I want to also bless you today with the longevity and the sweet smell of cedar. And so those of you who desire to, I would like for you just to come, come forward and just say a short word of thank you for someone in your family or someone in your life that may be special to you. And I want you to be able to come and do that. So if you will, I'm just going to leave it open to you and to your heart before I start speaking to invite you to come and again, let the blessing of Creator through his created instrument, myself and his created tree, the evergreen cedar tree, to be a blessing upon you. Again, only saying I appreciate you. I thank you. And this is a gesture and a way of my saying I thank you for the beautiful spirit that you present and that you have. So if you will, I'm going to get my thing and I'm going to bring it here. And I want to ask you to come, if you will, and just come here. And I want to put cedar on this flame. We usually use the heart of a pine. But in this case, I have the heart of the earth, a part of the heart of the earth. And it's cold. It burns just like cedar does. The heart of cedar burns and it burns continuously. And when we put the pollen of cedar on there, it has such a sweet aroma. And it will fill this room with aroma. So I want you to know that this room is going to be blessed for those children who run back and forth and play basketball and those who enter this building in the future. The building is going to be blessed because you're going to bless this building and leave your spirits and energy here. That's how important you are. That's how special you are. You will leave it here. Even though you leave, you will still be here. A part of you will. And the children will know that from this day on. So if you will. Get Patty's footstool here. And like I said, it's good to see each one of you here. And I want to prepare as we go. As Patty alluded to a moment ago, I carry the eagle feather. And the eagle feather, again, has a representation. I've received several feathers along life's pathway. This particular feather here has the highest meaning and the highest honor for me. I was presented this feather when I was elected to the position of the Assistant Chief of the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokees in Oklahoma. Never did I ever dream that when I was struggling with my sobriety, that Creator had a place for me to serve my people and work with my people in the capacity of leadership. And later I learned through the handling of this particular feather, you know, in a real sense, we're all leaders. All of us have leadership in us. And that's what we must strive for. Always have the hope that one day you too, you may not have an eagle feather. You may have a longevity watch on your arm, but something will be given you in recognition of your ability to lead. Okay. So the only way people remember you on this earth is not to pray for you as much, but to give you something. And a lot of times it's a longevity watch for serving a long time. So again, without any special time I want to take and again, just say thank you, Creator. Creator God, don't let me, as I approach you, approach you with ego in my heart, but humility. And help me, Creator, not to live my life in abandonment in just any way. But Creator, help me to live my life with respect, with honor, and with dignity. And help me to walk, to walk, to walk alone, to walk tall, and to walk with pride. Thank you, Creator, for the people here in Cherokee, North Carolina. And thank you for the people who have come to be a blessing to all of us throughout this land. So, Creator, as we put this pollen upon this fire, I want to thank you for the people that are here. Creator, I wanna thank you for Patty, my sister. I wanna thank you for her husband. I wanna thank you for her family. Creator, I wanna thank you for each one of the members of AA who have traveled, who have families. Creator, bless them in a very special way. And Creator, as we come to you, we offer this sweet aroma, again, recognizing your sweetness and recognizing your longevity. You're an eternal God. You're an everlasting God. Help us, God, to always remember that, and we'll always be a blessing, not only to you, but to our fellow man. So if you will, whoever here would like to be first and come, I would like for you to come and let me smudge, let the smudging of the cedar be a part of your daily activity today and a blessing for you. Whoever would like to come, come. Yes, sir. Go. Yes. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Come, my friend. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Yes. My brother. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. A blessing upon each one of you, and I thank you for coming and for participating. Creator thanks you as well. Many, many times as we travel this country, we always wonder what lies over the next hill. And many of our Indian people always wondered what was over the hill or the next hill for them. But the one thing they always beheld, and that, uh, that was the guidance of the Great Spirit. They always went to this Great Spirit to find leadership and directions. I didn't know what that was as I was growing up. I grew up in an, an alcoholic environment. I grew up in a very dysfunctional environment. I grew up being the oldest in the family, and you know what that does. There were certain expectations that were expected of me, and a lot of times because my values were just a little bit different than what my father's values were, there was a conflict. Because my father's values were for me to do one thing, and my values as a child was to do another thing. And usually it was to do the thing that was exciting to me, and that was to play. But being the oldest in the family, a lot of times I had chores that needed to be done and chores delegated, and if I didn't get those chores done, there was usually consequences to that as well. I started using alcohol when I was three years old, not because I picked it up to drink it, but because my grandfather was my babysitter. And he had an alcohol problem, and he had a bunch of friends and bunch of guys that come to the house, and they shared their home brew and their rubbing alcohol or whatever they get, they had to share. And to get me out of the way, my grandfather would put whiskey or alc- rubbing alcohol or home brew in my Kool-Aid or whatever I was drinking at the time. Uh, he would put it in there, and, and I would pass out, and they would go ahead and have their good time. Grandfather didn't know the affect of the chemical alcohol that was taking place in my body when he did that. He only knew for him it made him drunk. He only knew for him it made him feel a certain way for a period of time. And therefore, he saw no harm in sharing that with a little infant or a little child. I don't blame my grandfather for that. I don't blame my grandfather for any of, any of it. But I just say this to share with you that a lot of times there is a lot of ignorance still as to the affect of the different chemicals that a young child can ingest. And again, adolescents a lot of times say to themselves, "I'm okay because I'm not going to become addicted like my dad or my uncle or my grandfather." But for adolescents, it's a very dangerous period because your cells are still developing. And according to what I understand, you don't fully develop until you're around twenty-one years of age. I started when I was three, and I had a real disadvantage when I sobered up at age twenty-six. I really had a hard time understanding my role as a twenty-six-year-old in society. I still wanted to behave like a seven-year-old child. I still wanted to behave like a four or five-year-old child. I hadn't learned maturely to mature as my body matured. My body grew. My mind stopped. And so when I sobered up, I found it very difficult to accept any kind of change. I've gone to many different institutions and many different kinds of structures to try to find change for my life. But it wasn't until I came to that place where someone asked me the question, someone asked me the question of, "Jim, who are you?" And you know, I had trouble with that question. Who am I? "Well, I'm Jim Hinson." "Are you really Jim Hinson? Are you really, really Jim Hinson?" And you know, I had to ponder that question Because I really did not know who I was. I knew I had a name, and then my grandfather later said, "Ata wesi teza to a. Ata wi teza to a." He said, "This is your name. This is your Indian name." And then he commenced to tell me about many, many years ago, long, long, long years ago, how that creator had chosen from amongst the people men who would go up into these hills, and they would hold vigils for many, many days, and God would anoint them and choose them and give them the medicines that belong to the Indian people, the Cherokees especially. And so when they got this medicine, they carried it with sacred honor to all of those who were members. And those of you who are Cherokees remember we have seven clans. We have seven clans that are our clans. In the root of all the givens all Indians have, their places are Cherokees have seven clans. And I didn't, I didn't know any of my clans. I didn't know my clan. I was lost. I was lost in a world that had all the makings of the great blessing that anyone could probably really dream of and have. They told me I was an Indian. I grew up amongst a lot of Caucasians and a lot of, uh, Hispanics and so I just looked at myself as a, as a people, as a person. But every time I would come home and, and they would get, they would get around that floor and they go, "Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh." You know, I, I kept saying, "Wow, that sounds familiar. I want to be a part of that." And every time I'd hear that, "Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh," you know, I'd say, "Wow." And, and I'd hear those shackles shaking, those girls shaking those shackles and, and, and just like the drumbeat last night, when you heard those shackles, you, you, you, you wanted to get in and step with the shackles as the girls would put, put that sound and that music in the air. And, uh, and I thought, "Wow, that is so neat." And somebody says, "Those are Indians." The, the, the, those are Indians. And, and here I am, I'm a four-fourths Cherokee. I'm a four-fourths Keetoowah Cherokee. And, you know, and they're saying, "They're Indians. What am I?" And then I heard the term apple Indian. And then I had to really, really, really do some searching and an apple Indian, what's an apple Indian? They said, "That's the man who's red on the outside and white on the inside." Whoo. I'm sure not in that circle, so I must be. I better check my, how do I open me up and check? Well, I went back to my value system. I went back to my value system, what I valued most, and how my value system aligned with what I was seeing happen around the, around the fire. And, uh, I began to question that. Back in nineteen seventy, I found myself dying from the abuse of my body. I was laying on a hospital gurney in Fort Worth, Texas, dying from bleeding internally. And they had given me up for, for death because I was an alcoholic, number one. I was a drunk. I was useless. I was not worthy of anything. They just give me up to die. But on that gurney, something happened. There was a moving, and they always tell me that the body moves for the last time. Its last movement is it moves. It makes a movement before death. And my body moved. I had needles all in my body, and, and my body jerked. And, and what it did, I pulled those needles, and, and I hit my chest like that, and I went, I went hard like that because I was fighting for b- air and fighting for life. And when I hit my chest, I went, "Uh." I went, "Uh." And someone said, "He's alive." But I didn't realize that they had given me up just to let me go ahead and die because that'd been the best thing for me. But at that time, Creator had something that he had for me to learn. And that was number one, is to learn who he was first, and secondly, was to learn who I was. I began to visit with my elders. I have a very special elder that I go to, and I began to visit with him, and I said, I said to him, "You know, I'm lost. "I will lay in nahe pasa nawaden." "I'm lost. I don't know who I am." And he says, "Jim," in Cherokee, he says, "Hatlan na nezatan na tae goe. Hatlan na he wa tae goe." "Where do you maintain your life, and where do you live?" I could tell him that. And he said, "Jim," he says, "you're an Indian," you know, and, and I thought, "I know that." He said, "But you're, you're an Indian that was created Indian." And I said, "I know that." He says, "You don't understand me." He says, "You're an Indian here in the heart." He said, "Creator, when he created man, created a man, and then he had a relationship with man in the heart." He said, "You are a creation of Creator, and you are very special. You are very important. You are very worthy, but your life doesn't reflect that. Your wife– your life doesn't show that. It shows that you're not worthy because you're treating your spirit unworthily of being worthy." I didn't know how to treat it any other way because I had always been told how dumb I was, how stupid I was, how unwanted I was, how unloved I was. "I wished you'd have never been born." I'd always been told those things. How am I to rise above that? And he says, "Creator has provided a way." And one day, I was visiting with a man who, who knew the Bible inside out, and, and he had been in the Navy. And he said, "Jim, I'm the worst probably example that Creator could have on this earth about being a good example of being someone." He said, "Creator forgave me. He forgave me of all of those things that I ever did in my life." And you know, I wanted to be forgiven also because there are many things in my life that is not worth mentioning that needs forgiving. And so he led me through this process. He said, "You must do this." And this, uh, minister also said, "Jim, you must do this," and took me through a process and said, "This is how you must come to that point of forgiveness." And after all of this, I was confused. I, I, I was, I was confused because everybody had, you know, these steps and philosophies to forgiveness. And then when I joined AA, they had 12 more and- Then they had 12 more and… And then they said, "You gotta help take care of a sick person." Dang, I didn't wanna take care of a sick person. I'm too sick to be taking care of somebody else. And then, and, and, and the old heads, they said, "You don't know what it's like until you sat with someone that's going through withdrawals and that's sick and puking all over themselves, you know?" Today, hospitals put up with all that stuff. Treatment centers put up with all that stuff. Us old-timers, we had to sit there and watch that guy, you know, fall out of the bed. And you didn't know what to do for him. He'd go… And you'd go grab a trash can and bring it over. And, and, and, and he's headed for the door. He don't know where he's going, but he's going. He's going somewhere. He knows where he's going. He don't wanna stay there because he got something more important to do, even though he's dying, you know? He going somewhere. Reminds me of a story. My friend, he lives in Stilwell, Oklahoma. Those of you that's been through there know where I'm talking about. It's kinda similar to this area except smaller, smaller hills. They're little mount- They're not mountains. They're little hills. Uh, and he always rode his horse, and we call him Babe for short. And, uh, one morning, we was at the cafe. We're sitting there drinking coffee, and, and boy, he come in, and he looked like somebody had done just did a number on him. And he come in and, and, uh, we said, "Babe." Said, "Where'd you go this weekend? We didn't see you over to the, the family's house." Said, "Where'd you go?" Out of those little beady eyes, he looked around and he said, "Don't know." "Don't know." I said, "Well, what happened? Why don't you know?" He said, "Don't know. Got drunk." Said, "Man, you're, you're living dangerously, riding on that horse and being drunk." He said, "No." He said, "I all right. No fall off horse." "Where'd you go?" "Don't know." He said, "Horse know where I go." Usually, somebody else is in charge of where you go. Somebody else is in control of where you go. You're not in control. Okay, we've all been kind of down that road. That's where I was. I was looking for a direction. And so when he talked to me about the heart, it made me stop and take a look at what he was talking about. What does the heart have in relation to the brain? See, most of the times, we are who we are by choice because we made a choice somewheres to become what we are today. Life is a matter of choices. That's all life is, is a matter of choices. Whatever choice you make, that's the consequences you're gonna make for your life. Whatever choice. And the choices I made was to live exactly the way my folks were living, exactly the way my dad had lived his life. Exactly the pattern that was set before me was the way that I was going to live my life, and that is to be dependent, to be dysfunctional, and to be that old drunk Indian that everybody always points to. Say, "Oh, he's just drunk. That's natural. He's an Indian." You watch Walt Disney movies and they shoot these Indians. Guy shoots one time and 10 Indians fall. Indians weren't very glorious, you know, they– One shot, boy, they had miracle bullets then. And I said, "My heart." And my grandfather says, "Your heart. Listen to your heart." Did you hear, you heard the drumbeat last night? The drumbeat is likened to the heart. The drumbeat is replica to the heartbeat of our Creator. Now, whenever you hear that drumbeat, you know there's life there. You know there's activity there, and you know that you can be a part of it. And so I began to listen to my grandfather about the heart and about the brain. I begin to learn that most of our ancestors, because of the terrible, terrible conditions that they had to live through, their reliance was upon the guidance and the direction of the heart. They maintained a connection with Creator, and the moment that connection is severed, their direction then is confused, and it's lost. You know what God means, and many of you have probably heard this, God simply means good, orderly direction. God has a good, ordered direction for everything that's upon this earth. The sun, if you'll watch the sun as it rises, it rises from the ea-east and has a path just as perfectly to set in the west. If you watch the movement of the sun from the seasons to seasons, it moves from in the northern part in the summertime to the southern part in the wintertime. It has a perfect direction. The trees turn green at the regular time that they're supposed to. God has a good, orderly direction, and He gives and shares those with us, but they must be shared in the heart because you see, your heart is where you really are in your created state of being akin and likened to God. See, you are here, and a lot of us get trapped here because we start to live from here. We start to smartenize. We tar– we start to intellectualize. We start to be academically acclaimed because we get a thing called ego. Because if I look better than you, smell better than you, and walk taller than you, I probably am. That simple. So we get acclaimed to these high places, and that's why, as an alcoholic and a recovering person, it was hard for me to humble myself and step down and let God be the director. I was directing my life all this time. To let God be a director was something foreign to me. And it wasn't until I came to that place of, again, looking at this cold and looking at what's here that I began to see that not only did my Creator give me something to take a good look at, and that was the core of the Earth. The core of the Earth, I understand, is very hot. If my recollection is correct, it's very hot, and therefore, the core of the Earth is a purifier. There's a purification that takes place. And right in the center, if you'll notice, that in the center of our, uh, stomp dances, if you'll notice right in the center of our stomp dances, we have a fire, and that fire has been there for centuries, for ages, for a long time. And that fire, again, is a rep-representation of God's purifying power, and therefore, when we come to the fire, we approach the fire from the east, and we give God, again, that opening to the east so that God will always be in the presence of us. And when we go around that fire, the fire is not just a fire. There are four logs put in four direction, and there are seven different types of wood that are used to burn on that fire. And so there's a lot of meaning to that. Until I came to that point and began to understand that, then I began to see that Jim was very, very special in his creation and that there was a purpose for it and that he was truly an Indian. And someone said, "If you can speak your language, then that proves and verifies that you are an Indian and that you are of the tribe that you…" of. And so I begin again to relearn my language. And today, I have the language to share because, again, from the heart, I realize that I must stay within my heart to be humble, to be lowly, and to be respectful. For you see, the heart, the heart has a feeling also. There is a spirit of the heart. The heart is just a muscle, but yet the heart has a feeling. It has a spirit, as well as the brain. The brain, the brain is the god of the flesh. The brain is the god of the flesh. The brain tells you, "Don't do what's right. Do what feels good and looks good. Don't do what's right, because what's right is not as exciting as doing what you wanna do and the things that are pleasurable." Because being right means you're gonna do some things that are upstanding, that are correct, and that are of good witness. You're not gonna be dysfunctional. And so my grandfather started talking me about, talking to me about the connection of the two. And he says, "What you're doing," he says, "you're living in a worldly atmosphere. You're living on the Earth. You're not living in the Earth." You remember when I said the Lord's Prayer a moment ago, I said, "In Earth." In Earth. We are the Earth. And whatever's happening in Heaven, wherever that is, whatever's happening in Heaven must happen in us also. And when it starts to happen in us, we start to see that serenity, that peace, that reconciliation, that forgiveness. And it wasn't until I came to the point of saying, "My heart is not dis- my heart is not connected." And how many of you have ever had trouble with religion? Anybody ever had trouble with religion? I've got s- I've got some agreements here with me. I tell you what, you know, Jesus had trouble with religion, didn't he? Did you know that? Jesus had trouble with religious people. In fact, those yo-yos hung him, didn't they? If you read history, it was those do-gooders, you know. It was those earthlings, you know. They're the one that cru- crucified him. They're the one that hung him. It wasn't those drunks and dysfunctional and, and, and murderers and thieves and bad people. That wasn't them that hung him. It was those folks that said, "Thou shall live this way." And they stood pious and looked at you and said, "If you don't look this way, you'll never make it. Never make it." And that's why a lot of times we didn't make it. And therefore, we have a bad relationship with the religious sector because, again, they present a pious, righteous, condemning, judgmental attitude toward us. They don't present a loving, caring, forgiving, and accepting a- atmosphere toward us. They present a condemnation toward us, and therefore… And if anytime somebody condemns you, what do you do? You withdraw. You stay away. But Creator's intent wasn't that. When he let Jesus, again… She shared with you I was a minister and an evangelist, a spiritual leader for our people. I've gone through that condemnation. I've been thrown out- I've gone through that condemnation. I've been thrown out of churches. I'm too bad to be in the church. I mean, those churches that are pious, righteous, and that are on their way to Heaven, the only one that's gonna make it, they don't want Jim Henson 'cause he might, he might mess their way up. And believe me, I will. Be- believe me, I will, because, again, I'm just made that way. You know, I'm made with limitations. I need God's power to keep me in that direction. And so I learned to do something. Those of you that's had trouble with religion and with the name Jesus, I want you to listen to this. Creator gave me this revelation so I could both have a part in sharing with them how it is to be sober, how it is to work the fourth step, and how it is to trust somebody with the fifth step, and how it is to just share that and get it out of your life. You know, I, I got this thing and, and, and, and you know, it's, it's, it's Jesus. Have you ever stopped and pondered what Jesus really means? I mean, if you r- ask the religious folks, you know what they'll tell you? "He's my savior. He's my reconciler. He's God." You know? They'll give you all of these things. You wanna know, you wanna know who Jesus, what Jesus really stands for? Imagine, draw a cross. Draw a cross. Just draw a cross in your mind, like the cross he was crucified on. Draw that cross. And right at the top… Just look at me and think, think of me as a cross. Right up here on the top, put the letter J. Over here on the right, put the letter E. Right here in the center, put the letter self. Put the letter s, which stands for self. Over on the left-hand side, put the letter U. And down here at the feet, put the letter S. Jesus stands for just enjoy self until serenity. Do you hear me? He's not standing there. He's not standing there. "You're going to hell if you don't do this." No. Jesus is standing there saying, "You're a very special individual. You're a very important individual, but you're not behaving that way. Your real– your life is not reflecting that because you don't know who you are." Self. You're operating in the made self. You're operating in the self somebody made you by conditioning you by the way they raised you. You made yourself from the information from here, the information you picked up. You made yourself who you are because what you were doing, you were smartenizing with life and not being humble with it. Being humble with it allows the created self that you really are come forward. It allows who you really are. That person that you fight against, have you ever been in a situation or a, or a position where you desperately wanted to tell somebody, "No, no, I don't wanna do that. I mean, no, I don't wanna be a part of that"? Have you ever been in that position any time in your life and you wound up saying, "Okay"? We all have. We got that little thing in, "Okay," you know? And we really need to stand up and say, "No." T– and, and in fact, your heart… Have you ever noticed that when that situation is there, your heart's going, "Boom, say no. Boom, say no. Boom, say no," you know? Your heart is jumping, saying, "Tell that sucker no. Get him away from you. He's dangerous for you. He's gonna get you in trouble." But no, we wind up because we don't wanna make you mad. We want you to like us. And so, "Okay." We, we… Even though we know it's wrong, we go ahead and do it. And Creator knows that, and that's why that, again, in the analogy of the good orderly direction and the analogy of Jesus, if you'll get the concept that spirituality is simply, again, making most important to you whatever is important that keeps you healthy and keeps you going in one direction. And I would hope, and this is what we in our Alcoholics Anonymous program teach us, this is an individual program, that we cannot take the inventory of someone else and how they're working their program. If the religious structure is okay with what they're doing, that's fine. Let them do that. But if it bothers us, then we need to find a way that we can be okay with what they're doing, even though they're doing it in a way that we don't quite comprehend. And so Creator showed me the wa– this way of using Jesus is one way of me understanding what's going on with them in a religious sense. In a spiritual sense, I understand what's happening to me because I accept myself as being a type of Christ who was created. I have a type of Christ that is loving, that is forgiving, that is accepting, and that is challenging in my own heart. And a lot of times, that's what I don't accept about myself because a lot of times I don't really know whether I'm gonna be able to make it. I don't really know whether I'm gonna be able to succeed, and therefore, a lot of false evidence appearing real becomes a part of my life. A lot of fear becomes a part of my life, and therefore, I don't try. I pattern myself after what someone else is rather than what I'm supposed to be within myself. And the AA program, the church programs, and all the programs that exist are designed to give us a self-interest w- in, in Christ, in God, in Creator, in all the things that are existing in the religious world are to give us a direction for our own individual selves, to be able to say no, to be able to say yes when it's necessary. I came to the point of understanding… And you know, I guess when I really came to understand and come to that grips was when I th– I read… You ever read, uh, Jonathan Seagull? You ever, you ever read about old Jonathan Seagull? You know, his challenges of going so high up and then dropping himself to see if he couldn't crash whenever he got close to the earth. And then one day, remember, he said he was over here, and he closed his eyes. And when he closed his eyes, where'd he say he were? He said he was standing here, but yet when he opened his eyes, he was over here. He says we are a spirit being. We are a spirit being. And being a spirit being, if we align ourselves with a spiritual nature that we seek through the Alcoholics Anonymous program. In number one it says, "I admit that I'm powerless over alcohol, that my life is and has become unmanageable, and therefore, I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. And therefore, realizing that I am insane in nature, I need some help, and therefore, I became willing to turn my life over to, to the care of God as I understood Him." Notice it was mentioned last night, as I understood Him, not as someone presents Him to me, but as I understand Him. And a lot of times it's gonna take coming to grips with who you are, and I had to come to that point as being an Indian, as being a castaway, as being an unloved person. And when I finally came to grips with that word love, it really hit home with me. When someone said, "Remember Grandma. Remember Grandma. Remember no matter what you had done…" Now, you can tell I was raised by grandparents. I talk about Grandpa and Grandmother. Uh, Grandmother, she– people would say, "Remember how Grandmother, whenever you'd come back all tattered and all dirty and all torn, how she would come to you and put her arms around you and say, 'Oh, son, what have you gotten into? What have you gotten into?'" And she would put her arms around you and in a loving way take you and kind of wash you off a little bit and get you a fresh change of clothes and say, "Son, one of these days you need to stop doing what you're doing and start living right," in a very non-judgmental and a non-condemning way, but a very loving and an accepting way. And, you know, one day I, I got this… And I want you to keep this definition, if you will. The definition of love. The definition of love is simply letting our values emerge. Letting our values emerge. You know what my grandfather did? My grandfather never let me do anything without first he would say… Let me have your hand for the other hand. He would take me by the hand. When he had something to, to, when he had… He didn't talk to me. He would pull me up. He would say, "Grandson, come with me." And he would always pick me up, and he'd turn loose my hand, and he'd say, "Follow me." And whenever we'd get someplace, he would talk to me, and he would say, "This is how you do this." And then he would put my hands on it, and he would say, "Do this." My grandfather would pull me up and say, "I value what I know, and because I value what I know, I'm gonna share it with you." And that's the way we should do with our families, with our wives, with our children, and those that we work with every day in our workplace. We should be willing to be an example for them and to show them how to walk that walk that you and I have tre- tread for many, many years. Thank you. And I appreciate my grandfather so much because when it came to understanding my grandmother, I came to say, "Elisi, wado. Kali'e'lik tohiyu skiyagachiski yihuha." I said, "Grandmother, thank you for loving me the way you love me." Her love was unconditional. Her love was so accepting. My friend, today, Creator has that same love for each one of us, but we need to find that foundation. Have you found that foundation for yourself to really know who you are spiritually and how you're related to a Creator that has created the whole universe? If you've never found that, I hope this AA convention that you've enjoyed will help you to get that direction and point you to the Creator. Always look up. No matter what the circumstances are, always have a hope that Creator knows exactly what's going on with you and what's happening to you and what you're going through. He will not allow you to go through any more than what you can bear, and that's what He shared with me. I must learn Jim Henson is a spirit person, and I must meet with my Creator daily in a spiritual sense. I must close my eyes to the flesh and to the brain, the power of the brain, and let the flowing of that information that I know become warm in my heart and say, "Creator, thank you for all life, and thank you for this sobriety that I have, and thank you for all of those that come about and give their life to me daily." Everyone that walks through the door every day shares their life with me, whether it be a life of pain, a life of joy, or a life of just hurt. They share that with me, and I really appreciate, again, you coming the many miles that you have to this conference. I appreciate Patty. I appreciate all others. If you don't remember anything at all, I want you to remember this one thing, and that is Creator created you for a purpose. Creator create, Creator created you very special. He created you honorably. So learn to honor yourself. And as you honor yourself and know yourself, Creator will be appreciative and blessed by that. And as you begin to know thyself, take the 12 steps to those that are still suffering and extend that arm of love, that arm of joy, that arm of forgiveness. Extend it and say, "Wado. Wado." Thank you. I thank you this morning for giving me this time with you. May Creator always make the sun shine upon your face and the winds always blow at your back. And until that time our paths cross again and we meet each other, I will always be glad to say, "Osiyo. Kali'e'lik osiwu tsetonahdoh havha." I will always be glad to say, "Hello. I am so glad that we see each other again." Until that time, may the Creator always abide with you. Thank you.
