an honor in Alcoholics Anonymous to introduce the speaker, Ron, tonight. I became good friends with Ron at the morning meeting. He still makes coffee six days a week every morning- … at the morning meeting here in celebration. So, uh, he's a, he's a good friend of mine and I, I can't wait to hear his story. Thank you, Stacy. Thank you. All yours, Ronnie. My name is Ron. I'm a grateful recovered alcoholic. Hey, Ron. Thank you for having me come and share my strength, hope, and peace. Um, I'm lost for words . My strength, hope, and courage. Um, I come from Wisconsin. I come from a middle class family. Uh, ne- neither my parents nor my two younger brothers are or were not alcoholic. I'm the only alcoholic out of the family. Um, my alcoholism actually started back in Wisconsin, they had what was called teen bars, and they would s- they could serve beer there. And, uh, you had to be 18 in order to go into the teen bars, and that's probably where my alcoholism started because I traveled some 32 miles to get to a teen bar to drink what was called Bullfrog, which was a malt liquor. And, uh, I made that trip every day after work. And, um, I progressively got worse after that. Um, I dabbled in drugs, that's part of my story. And, um, I drank all the way till I was 46 years old until I hit bottom, and I mean I hit bottom. And, um, I ended up in the emergency room. They pumped my stomach and that and the doctor… They thought I tried to commit suicide. And the doctor came in and he asked me how I felt, and I said I felt like shit. And he asked me do I wanna live, and I says, "No." And he says, "Well, I got just the place for you." And they sent me to DePaul Hospital, and I spent a 30-day program there. And it was about two or three days after I got in there, I was in the, um, rec room and there was a boombox and there was a, a, a cassette there. And I put the cassette in the radio thinking it was music, and here it was a speaker. And I listened to the speaker, and as he spoke, I could, I could relate to everything he had to say. I laughed so hard the side of my stomach hurt. Well, at the end of his talk, he says, "I only get two to sick people, and by the laughter I heard here today, there's a lot of sick people out there. But for those of you who feel you don't have the disease that I have, but have been able to relate to me, you better take another look at yourself." And I stood there and I was caught between a rock and hard place 'cause I couldn't deny the fact that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict. And at that moment, my name was called to the nurse's station for my medication, and my counselor just happened to be there. And I looked at her and I told her, I says, "I think I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict." And she looked at me and she just smiled. She grabbed me a big book, a 12-pack of soda, cigarettes, and we went out into the garden and we sat and we talked for over three hours about alcohol, about AA, about the big books, and what this program is all about, and what I can gain by it and, and, and what kind of a life I can have without alcohol. And, uh, that night I went back to my room. She gave me a big book. I went back to my room. She came and she says, "Come on, Ronnie, you're going to your first AA meeting." I looked there and I says, "Well, I can't go. The doctor hasn't released me yet. You know, I can't leave the floor." She says, "Don't worry, I got took care of all of that." So I went to my first AA meeting and I walked in, and back then you could smoke, and there was just a blue haze of smoke. And here all these people were standing, they were laughing and talking and drinking coffee and just having a good time, and I'm miserable. And I couldn't figure out what they were so happy about. And, uh, the meeting started and they give out the chips at the beginning of the meeting instead at the end of the meeting. So they started out with the white chip. And there were about 12 people at the table, and I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, "Now do I get up and take that chip or don't I?" 'Cause if I take that chip, I'm gonna make a commitment, and am I gonna keep that commitment? 'Cause I remember what my counselor told me when we talked. Well, there were three people left. I got up, I took the chip, and I put it in my pocket. And at the end of the meeting, I got myself a cup of coffee. I kind of walked off into the background and this old man walks up to me in bib overalls, a gray beard, uh, tobacco juice running down his tobacco, uh, down his beard. And he asked me if I have a sponsor. And I looked there and I, you know… At that time, I still had a dirty mouth and I used the F-word. I asked him, "What is a sponsor?" And he says, "Well, you got one. Me." And that's how I got my sponsor. He gave me his name, his telephone number, and his address, and he turned around and he walked away. And he turned around and he looked back at me and he pointed at me and he says, "And I know when you're getting out of here. You call me the day after you get out of here." And he walked away. And I'm sitting there and I'm trying to think, how does he know when I'm getting out of here? Well, he put the fear of the Lord into me. That's exactly what he was supposed to do. And I called him the next day when I got out. And, um, he started me on my steps. And I did all 12 steps in 12 days. He was the one that didn't fool around. Uh, he came from the old school and, uh, he didn't– there, there was no fooling around. And when we got to the fourth step, he says, "We'll do the fifth step tomorrow." And I looked at him and I says, "I'm not gonna be able to write that all in one day." He says, "Well, then get up off your dead ass and get home and start writing." So I went home, and I wrote, and I went back the next day, and I did my fifth step with him, and I finished everything, and he looked at me and he says, "Okay." He says, "Now," he says, "let's talk about the stuff you didn't put on paper." And I looked at him and I says, "How do you know that?" And he says, "Why do you think I'm your sponsor?" And, um, I gave in, and I started to talk, and I started to share. And when we got done, I thought he was gonna kick me out of his house. And he just looked at me and he says, "Now," he says, "we're done." And it was like somebody lifted 1,000 pounds off my shoulders. And on the way home was the time that I had a spiritual awakening, and I think I found my higher power, God. 'Cause I said, after all that I told him, God should have struck me down dead. And, um, that probably– that was the start of my real sobriety. Going through the rest of the steps worked. I mean, I finished them all up. I got to my ninth step and, and I had cheated. I looked ahead, and I found out that on the ninth step you were to make, uh, monetary restitution as well as, you know, regular restitution. And what I did was is I took money and I put money aside, and I put it in an envelope. And, um, when I handed in my ninth step to him, my mother's name was on the bottom of the list. And he looked at that and he says, "Now, why is your mother's name at the bottom of the list?" And for the first time I talked back to him, I told him it was none of his damn business. And, um, she was the last one that I made amends to. And I made amends to her, and I gave her that envelope, and she opened the envelope, and she seen the money in it, and she wanted to know what the money was for. And I told her, I said, "I think that's about what I stole from you." And she took the envelope, she handed it back to me. She says, "I don't want your money." She says, "I have your s– I have my son back." And, uh, we both cried. And when I left there, again, it was like 1,000 pounds was lifted off my shoulder because I got all of that rubbish gone. It was all done. I had made amends to everybody. Um, I had taken care of business, and I moved on to the rest of the steps. My sponsor got me very busy in s– in, in service work. I still do service work today, like Steve does, said. I've been making coffee for 21 years. I just celebrated 21 years. I've been making coffee for 21 years. And, uh, I think I, I get more pleasure out of that, I think, than anything else, is to be able to go and do that because I'm giving back to the group that I get so freely from them. And, um, it just makes me feel good and, uh, it gives me a sense of responsibility. Uh, I learned very early that responsibility was very important in this program, that, um, if you, if you promise somebody or you're gonna do something for somebody, that you do it. I never followed through on any, on anything in my life. Never. I would promise my mother I'd be there to pick her up, and I would never show up, or I'd show up late, or I'd show up drunk. I would join organizations, and I would drink my way away from the people in the organization, and I'd have to quit. And I'd join another organization, and I'd do the same thing in that organization. This is the first thing that I have ever accomplished in my whole life, that I have stuck to and have not pushed anybody away. 'Cause I learned to stop saying, "Leave me alone," because eventually they leave you alone, and then you're by yourself. I've learned not to do that today. I welcome the people– I welcome the people in, in, in the fellowship with open arms. Um, you know, this program is, is, is, is, is a simple program. And, um, you know, my sponsor showed me little tricks. Before we sp– After we started the steps, he told me, he says, "Now that you did the steps," he says, "you'll never have to do 'em again." He says, "You only have to do ten, 11, and 12," he says, "which are the maintenance steps," he says, "and, and, and you'll be all right." Well, the man lied to me because I've done the steps now four times over since I sponsored four different people. And when I did the steps over with them, I learned more than I did the first time. That's just like with the Big Book. I find the Big Book a very important part of my program, and every time I read it, I find something new. If I have a problem, I find the solution in it. Um, it's always out in the open. It's always within reach for me. Uh, my readings, um, I had a hard time doing readings, so he told me a little trick. He says, "What's the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?" For those of you who forget to do your readings in the morning. Well, the first thing I do when I get up in the mornings, I go to the bathroom. Put the books on the back of the tank of the toilet. You can't forget to do your readings. And you know, the books are still on the tank of the toilet because I don't forget to do my readings. There's simple little things that I have kept in my program that just make it easier for me to remember to do things. Um, I did a lot of drugs, and I did a lot of alcohol. I did a lot of drugs, and, and I have a lot of damage in my brain. And, and I'm very forgetful and I, you know, and, and I don't remember things. And, uh, the way– these are little tricks that I have put into my program to remember to do things, that I don't forget. And, um, for the newcomer that's just coming into the program, you know, you're gonna learn to do these little things as time goes along, like I did. You're gonna learn from your sponsor. You're gonna learn from other people in the program. This fellowship i-i-is a fellowship that is here to help you get through your steps and get through sobriety. I have more today than I thought I would ever have. I have a lot of monetary things in my life, but I have more than that. Um, we just had my grandchildren over for two weeks, and I was laying in my– sitting in my recliner taking a nap, and my one grandson, Anthony, comes up to me and wakes me up and says, "Grandpa, were you sleeping?" I looked and I says, "Not anymore, Anthony." And he gave me a kiss, and he says, "Grandpa, I love you." Where are you gonna get that? I would never get that if I was drinking because I wouldn't be there to get it. I'd be out there chasing something. I'm not doing that today. I'm there. I'm there for my family. I'm there for my grandchildren. I'm there for my wife. These are all important things in my life today. Um, I just, I just went through a lot of changes that I made that were significant in my program. Um, I wasn't spending a lot of time at home. And my wife made a comment to me, and she says, "Ronnie, I feel like a widow." And that made me stop and think. Now I want my change. I spend more time with her today. We went to see our psychologist. She made the comment, she says, "I have my old Ronnie back." Just little things like this in my life, just little things that I make changes in today because of this program, because it has taught me to have responsibility to make these changes, makes my life so much better today. Um, I sponsor, I sponsor three people. Um, two of them are mentally handicapped. They have what is called BTI. They were both in comas for two months, and one was in a coma for three months. And, um, I have found very challenging to work with them. And I have used my sponsor a lot to ask questions and pick his brain to, to, to work with them. But I find it very rewarding because I take the time to reach out my hand to those who are around me. And, um, I think that's what's important . Even to the newcomer, if you're there, you come to a meeting and somebody else is a newcomer, and you walk up to me and say, "Hi, how are you? My name is so and so, and I'm here for the first time," or that, that's reaching out for that person. That's making them feel welcome. When I came from Wisconsin to here, I went to the West Side Club. I went for my first meeting there, and nobody even walked up to talk to me. I walked– I went there– I left there with a resentment and didn't go to a meeting for a whole year. And went through what was called one of the worst dry drunks there ever was. And, um, I went back and, um, after the meeting, I got myself a cup of coffee and was sitting clubhouse, and there was a gal behind the bar, and I asked how I can work behind the bar. I worked behind the bar for 11 years. And, and, and I found my program again. I found recovery again. Why? Because I was with other people in recovery, and that resentment that I had left me. That resentment almost drove me to drink. Um, I came very, very, very, very close to going back out because of that, and it was because of my own fault, because of my bullheadedness that I didn't wanna go back. Because I… It was my attitude that I'll show them, and all I was doing was hurting myself, and I didn't know that, and today I do. So, you know, resentment is probably one of the worst things. It says right in the Big Book, "Resentment is the worst thing. It'll drive you to drink." It will. So, um, don't hold resentments. Take it from someone who knows. Take it from someone who has experienced it, that you don't wanna go through that. I almost lost my wife because of it, 'cause she was ready to leave me because I was living like I was drinking without the alcohol. That's how bad I was. And things changed, and things got better. We got… You know, we got back together, and now things are fine again. This happened back some time ago. Um… I'm trying… My mind's going blank, is what it's doing. Um- Ronnie, tell them the story about the lady that came for the cigarettes. Oh. I worked… Pete just reminded me of something. I, I was gonna tell, tell it at the end, but that's right, I'll tell it now. Like I says, I worked at the West Side Club behind the bar and, um, a gal comes in and she's drunk. And she's walking around mooching cigarettes or trying to. And I called her over and I told her, "Hon, you can't do that." I says, "You just can't do that." And I asked her when the last time she ate and she said yesterday, and we were selling hot dogs at that time, so I made up two hot dogs for her, gave her a bag of chips and a cup of coffee. She ate. We sat and we talked for a while. And I went to my tip basket and I gave her $3. And I told her, "Take the $3, go to the filling station across the way, get yourself a pack of cigarettes." She walked out, and all of a sudden I said to myself, "Ronnie, what did you just do? You don't give money to people in the, in, in a program, especially somebody like them, because you don't know what they're gonna do with it." Well, I forgot about it. About a year later, this gal walks in, dressed just beautiful. Walks up to the bar, says, "Hi, Ronnie. I'll have a cup of coffee." I turn around and looked at her and I said, "I'm sorry," I says, "but you got me." I says, "I don't remember you and I don't recognize you." I poured her a cup of coffee. I gave her the coffee. She handed me a package of cigarettes. She had a year sobriety. She has, I think now, 13 years of sobriety, all over $3. All because I took the time to reach out and plant that seed in her mind. And I asked her why and how it came about, and she says she went, she says, and she was debating whether to get a beer or get a cigarettes, and she got the cigarettes and as she was walking out she opened the pack of cigarettes and she says, "There's gotta be something going on there," she says, "that this guy would give me money to buy cigarettes." And she says, "I'm gonna try it and see what happens." And she did. We can all have that. We can all reach out and plant that seed in people's minds and be able to do those things by working this program, by coming to a meeting like this and having a newcomer come in and talk to them and taking the time to talk to 'em and tell 'em how you're doing in the program and, and, and what your life is like. And let them know that, that they can have a different life. They don't have to live the hell that I lived through. And it works sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't, but sometimes it does. The important thing is, is, is that if you reach one out of 100, that one is more important than anything else. It's because you brought somebody into this program, and you gave them what you have. And that's what I have today. I have a life today that is just unbelievable. I have things in my, you know, I have things in my life that I have friends. I'm sitting here and, and, and I'm looking out at the people in this crowd, and I'm looking at the eyes, and I can see the love in your eyes. I can see the love in your eyes because I care and because I love you back. My sponsor gave me a routine to do when I first came into this program, and he had me tell– he told me to stand in front of a mirror and repeat, "I love me, I love me, I love me." And I went home, and I started doing that, and I was like this, and then a little bit up, and then a little bit up, and then a little bit up, till I came to the point where I could say I loved myself and I could love what I seen in the mirror. And I went back to him and I said, "Thank you." And he says, "Now," he says, "that you love yourself," he says, "you can love others." He says, "Because you can't love others unless you love yourself." He says, "All the years that you drank, you couldn't look yourself in the mirror." I couldn't. I couldn't. I didn't like what I saw. I saw a horrible person that hurt a lot of people in my life. Today, when I look in that mirror, I, I, I, I see a person that helps people, who cares about people and loves people. And you people gave me that. See, I didn't get that through osmosis. I got that from you people, and I got it from you people by coming to these meetings and listening to the people share. At the end of a year, my sponsor fired me. He fired me. He says, "I'm done with you." And I looked at him, I said, "Harry, how can you fire me?" I says, "Who am I gonna have for a sponsor?" And he says, "Well, what in the hell have you been doing on in meetings?" I said, "Sitting and listening." He says, "Uh, haven't you heard anything you like?" "No, not really." "Fine." He says, "Go to meetings," he says, "and start listening. Listen to the guys that share. And when you hear what you like, what he has, you go ask him to be your sponsor." And that's what I did. And I had him as a sponsor until I came here to Florida. I've had one, two, and two sponsors here in Florida. The first sponsor I had here in Florida, his name was Gary Long, and he passed on me. And the sponsor that I have today, we just went to a twelve o'clock meeting today, and we had lunch, and we do that monthly. I still call my sponsor, not on a daily basis, but I call him. I keep in contact with him 'cause he's the most important person in my life. He's my lifeblood. When I need help, he's there to help me, and he's helped me through some things. I've had some problems, and I called him, and I ta– we talked it over, and we got it all straightened out. I called him one time at two o'clock in the morning 'cause I didn't feel right. And he answered the phone, and we sat and we talked till three o'clock in the morning until I felt right. Like I says, I just celebrated twenty-one years, so don't think because you got a lot of time you don't get those goofy thoughts in your mind every once in a while in the middle of the night when you wake up out of one of those, um, drink, drinking dreams, thinking, "Yes, maybe I did it." I remember I thought I… I had one one time. I was so scared that when I woke up in the morning, I had to look under the bed to make sure there were no cans of beer under the bed because I thought I threw them all under the bed. That's how real it was for me. That's when I first came into this program. But I have you people today, and I think that's the most important thing, is that I have you and that I can, I, I can come and I can talk to any one of you anytime I need to. I have friends like Pete here. I've known him now for a while. I met him when he first came into the program. He's come a long way since he's come into this program, and I'm proud of what he's accomplished in his life today and where he is today. See, my God gives me the opportunity to see that. There's two things in my life today that nobody, but nobody can take away from me. One is my God, and one is you people. Nobody can take them away from me. I'm very selfish over both of them. And I've worked for that. I have a God today that I can talk to anytime I want. I can talk to Him like I'm talking to you right now. There's times when I'm driving, I turn the radio off and something comes to my mind, and I just start babbling on. And it feels good to do it because I can do it. 'Cause I'm not ashamed and I'm not afraid to do it 'cause I know He's there for me. I've gone through a lot in my sobriety. I lost a daughter 10 years ago. She was 34 years old. She was three months pregnant. I flew from here to Wisconsin, and not once in that two-hour flight did the thought of alcohol enter my mind. What was on my mind was is, how are we gonna make the funeral arrangements? Where is it gonna be? And how soon before we land and I can see her? Those were the things that were on my mind. The next day, I got up that morning and I went across the street to the church where I used to go to meetings, and I went to the office and I asked if they still had AA meetings there. And she says, "Yep, every night, eight o'clock." And I went, and I walked in, and I knew nobody. I knew nobody. And I sat down, and the meeting just had started, and somebody walked in, and I turned around. It was my old sponsor. And I shared with tears coming out of my eyes about my daughter. And at the end of the meeting, every last one of those people in that room came up, consoled me, gave me their phone number and told me anytime I need to, while I'm in Wisconsin or that, to call them. My sponsor grabbed me. We went to a restaurant called George Webb's. And, uh, we must have drank about three pots of coffee, and we sat and we talked about it. And I got through it, and I didn't need the alcohol to do it. I could, I could work my way through those feelings and that hurt, and there was a lot of hurt. Because parents don't bury children, children bury parents. 11 years ago, I went through cancer. I've been cancer-free for 11 years. Um, Pete knows this, I went through 19 surgeries on my left leg. I spent 30 days in a place called Keystone. While I was in the hospital, while I was in Keystone, meetings were brought to me. People come from this program to come and bring meetings to me because they knew I couldn't get out. To me, that was probably the happiest time of my life, to see those people come in and bring a meeting to me and share their, share their time with me. I do that in return because I know what it's like to be closed in. I know what it's like to be, not be able to go to a meeting. My sponsor used to come every once in a while and pick me up and take me from Keystone. We'd go to a meeting and out to eat, and I'd have to go back to Keystone. But there was always somebody from the program with me. That's what this can give you if you stick to it. It can give you this kind of a life. It can give you friends like that. See, back when I was out drinking, I had acquaintances. The only time they knew me is when I had money. Today, I have friends. Today, I, I have people I can count on. Today, there are people who can count on me to be there for them because I learned this in this program. You all can have that if you work for it. That's all you have to do is put a little bit of effort into it, and you can have that. You know what? I-i-it, it's not hard to do. There's days when I really don't feel like going to a meeting, and that's probably one… that's the best meeting that I went to, is when I don't really feel like going to a meeting. I'm sitting in front of my computer playing around and I figure, eh, and I go anyway. I do nine meetings a week. I do six in the morning at Celebration. Then I go on Monday nights to Four Corners, and I'm GSR for the Variety Group at the West Side Court. And I do that religiously because I enjoy it, because I wanna do it. So thank you for letting me share. Thank you for letting me be here. I appreciate it. I love you all. I truly do. And I'll always remember you, and I'll always remember the faces in front of me after I leave here 'cause that's what's important to me, is that when I leave here, I leave here with the looks of you people in my mind. That's what God has given me. God has given you me. Uh, God has given me you. And that's the most important thing in my life, is that. Thank you. Thanks, Ronnie.
