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[00:00:01.520 – 00:00:02.180] Thank you, Lord.

[00:00:02.180 – 00:00:02.880] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:02.880 – 00:00:04.740] My name is David A., and I am an alcoholic.

[00:00:04.740 – 00:00:12.120] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous am I sober this day, and for this I am so thankful.

[00:00:12.120 – 00:00:22.140] And first of all, I want to thank your committee and Lord calling me and asking me to come for this evening’s meeting and to share me with you

[00:00:22.140 – 00:00:23.100] and you with me.

[00:00:23.100 – 00:00:33.200] And I want to thank Lloyd and Wells, uh, for picking us up at the airport and getting us watered and fed and powdered and pointing us in the right direction,

[00:00:33.200 – 00:00:37.180] which is a restroom for women and which is a restroom for men and et cetera.

[00:00:37.180 – 00:00:44.360] And I want to congratulate everybody here, those who stood up, those who sat down, those who are still laying down.

[00:00:44.360 – 00:00:51.180] And this is a wonderful, wonderful experience to be here at the last day of the…

[00:00:51.180 – 00:00:52.040] It’s alway…

[00:00:52.040 – 00:00:56.320] I-I’ve never understood why anybody got sober on New Year’s Eve, you know?

[00:00:56.320 – 00:01:01.780] But thank God AA is available for every alcoholic.

[00:01:01.780 – 00:01:03.220] That’s what’s wonderful.

[00:01:03.220 – 00:01:07.200] The only thing I know about being an alcoholic is how I drank.

[00:01:07.200 – 00:01:10.700] The only thing I know about living sober is Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:01:10.700 – 00:01:20.740] And since April the 20th of 1967, I have not found any reason whatever to leave Alcoholics Anonymous to find an easier way to live sober, a more sociable,

[00:01:20.780 – 00:01:29.020] acceptable way to live sober, a more comfortable way to live sober, a more fun way to live sober, nor a more desirable way to live sober.

[00:01:29.020 – 00:01:39.120] And thank God I haven’t had to go to one of them action-reaction courses, concentration movement, related disorders institute, hang in there till your drawers fall off,

[00:01:39.120 – 00:01:39.600] baby.

[00:01:39.600 – 00:01:43.260] Sexual dysfunction seminars.

[00:01:43.260 – 00:01:49.980] If you stay sober as long as I have and as old as I am, you don’t need them kind of seminars.

[00:01:49.980 – 00:01:52.980] You just need a memory course, that’s all.

[00:01:52.980 – 00:01:59.180] And everything I’ve learned to live, I’ve learned through the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:01:59.180 – 00:02:09.500] And the only way I know how to make an AA talk, as was read earlier in chapter five, although that is not the version that we know today,

[00:02:09.500 – 00:02:15.720] is that our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we’re like now.

[00:02:15.720 – 00:02:25.880] Well, it was on the last Sunday in August of 1950, over thirty-four years ago, that a group of fine, sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous invited me to come to an

[00:02:25.880 – 00:02:29.680] open AA meeting at the old Suburban group there in Dallas, Texas.

[00:02:29.680 – 00:02:38.820] The Wednesday before that Sunday, I stumbled into one of Dallas’s more affluent barbershops, and I sat down at this manicurist table.

[00:02:38.820 – 00:02:41.160] Now, I was more at myself that morning.

[00:02:41.160 – 00:02:46.500] Now, being more at myself in those ma- days meant that I was drinking, I wasn’t too drunk.

[00:02:46.500 – 00:02:50.220] Or I could sit in a chair for ten minutes without falling out of it.

[00:02:50.220 – 00:02:54.840] I could navigate to and from the men’s room and go out and get me another bottle of whiskey.

[00:02:54.840 – 00:03:01.420] And I sat down, and this lady looked at me, and she said, “David,” and right there and then I should have known something’s wrong.

[00:03:01.420 – 00:03:02.640] She didn’t call me Doctor.

[00:03:02.640 – 00:03:12.720] She said, “David, I belong to a deal called Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have not had a drink of alcohol in one year.” And I looked at Edith, and I

[00:03:12.720 – 00:03:21.680] said, “You’re a liar.” Nobody stays sober a year, maybe a day, maybe two days, maybe three days, but certainly not a year.

[00:03:21.680 – 00:03:29.300] She says, “No, I haven’t had a drink in a year.” You know, now Edith looked like a drunk ought to look like, you know, sort of Thelma looking less Eckles, you know?

[00:03:29.300 – 00:03:34.600] Her face wasn’t real pretty.

[00:03:34.600 – 00:03:38.080] It looked like a truck had run over it and backed over it to see if it done a good job.

[00:03:38.080 – 00:03:48.260] She had big bug eyes and gaps in her teeth, and God bless her, she’d been hit in the face so many times, and her nose had been broken so many times where she’s falling on it, it just sort of hung

[00:03:48.260 – 00:03:49.500] on the left side of her face.

[00:03:49.500 – 00:03:54.980] You know, and, and, and, and this is back in the day before the gals used to wear pantyhose.

[00:03:54.980 – 00:03:56.440] They used to wear garter belts.

[00:03:56.440 – 00:04:00.350] And when she was a-drinking, hers always trailed behind her uniform.

[00:04:00.350 – 00:04:03.140] She’d trip and fall and drop all them manicuring bottles.

[00:04:03.140 – 00:04:08.820] And back in those days, the ladies, you know, the, with their garter belts, used to wear hose with the seams up the back.

[00:04:08.820 – 00:04:11.340] You could always tell when Edith was drunk.

[00:04:11.340 – 00:04:13.520] The seams was in the front, and the front was in the back.

[00:04:13.520 – 00:04:23.539] But the best way I can describe Edith’s looks as a drunk, in our part of the country, if your car is caught out in a hailstorm and is pretty badly beaten up,

[00:04:23.540 – 00:04:28.400] right when you get your insurance check, some wise buzzard says, “Don’t get it fixed.

[00:04:28.400 – 00:04:37.140] Let it sit out in the hot sun for about three or four weeks, and all the dents will pop back out.” Huh, her dents never popped back out.

[00:04:37.140 – 00:04:39.780] But God, she’s a great gal.

[00:04:39.780 – 00:04:43.700] And, but I noticed a change, and the change was in her eyes.

[00:04:43.700 – 00:04:47.340] In Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, we have two kinds of eyes.

[00:04:47.340 – 00:04:53.500] We have those sad, sick eyes, and then we have those happy, dancing, laughing, sparkling, sober eyes.

[00:04:53.500 – 00:04:56.260] Then we have another kind of eyes, them glassy eyes.

[00:04:56.260 – 00:05:01.140] They’ll get up behind one of these things, say, “I haven’t had a drink,” you know, and then fall over.

[00:05:01.140 – 00:05:07.400] But her eyes were jumping, and they were laughing, and she looked like she was having a lot of fun living sober.

[00:05:07.400 – 00:05:12.720] But when she told me that, you know, I, I, well, she said hadn’t had a drink in a year, and I got to looking at her.

[00:05:12.720 – 00:05:13.900] You know, I got to watching her.

[00:05:13.900 – 00:05:15.960] And I noticed, yeah, she cha…

[00:05:15.960 – 00:05:18.460] The change was not that dramatic that morning.

[00:05:18.460 – 00:05:26.740] Uh, but I noticed that especially that day when she started giving me my manicure, I noticed she was buffing my nails instead of my knuckles as she used to.

[00:05:26.740 – 00:05:32.080] And I looked at her, and her lips, l- and her lipstick was on her lips and not her eyebrows.

[00:05:32.080 – 00:05:38.000] And I smelled her, and she didn’t smell halfway between an Avon woman and a whiskey bottle.

[00:05:38.000 – 00:05:42.040] But more important, something unusual happened to her.

[00:05:42.040 – 00:05:47.640] She didn’t grab her purse and say, “Now, I’ll be back in ten minutes,” and show up four months later, you know?

[00:05:47.640 – 00:05:53.360] And then she turned and introduced me to another manicurist in the same shop by the name of Moena.

[00:05:53.360 – 00:06:03.380] And she says, “Moena, here is my sponsor, and she has fifteen months sober in this deal called Alcoholics Anonymous.” And I looked at Moena, and I’d drunk more whiskey with Moena than

[00:06:03.380 – 00:06:13.448] I ever had with Edith, and I said, “Moena, you are a bigger liar than Edith.” I says, “Molina, we had a drink, now.” And she says, “No, David, I’ve not had a drink of alcohol with you or

[00:06:13.448 – 00:06:17.147] anyone else or myself in 15 continuous months.

[00:06:17.147 – 00:06:21.108] Edith has not had a drink of alcohol in 12 continuous months.

[00:06:21.108 – 00:06:31.408] And we have an open meeting this Sunday at 5:30 in our group, and it is open so that the public can come and hear

[00:06:31.408 – 00:06:41.508] and see what, how Alcoholics Anonymous can work for an alcoholic, and what Alcoholics Anonymous is and what Alcoholics Anonymous is not.”

[00:06:41.508 – 00:06:52.088] And one of the greatest challenges that we have in Alcoholics Anonymous today worldwide is our membership and our loving public is

[00:06:52.088 – 00:06:54.788] understanding what AA is not.

[00:06:54.788 – 00:07:05.288] And it’s one of the biggest challenges we have because we have found, as a result, we’re all right here in this meeting right this second because

[00:07:05.288 – 00:07:11.848] many, many, many years ago, AA found out that it was not all things for all people.

[00:07:11.848 – 00:07:22.068] And one of the reasons that this particular chapter five in the Multilith copy of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous that was read prior to this meeting, the reason why

[00:07:22.068 – 00:07:32.288] it has been changed in our present printing of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous is because this brought some things in that would have made us more

[00:07:32.288 – 00:07:33.968] than our singleness of purpose.

[00:07:33.968 – 00:07:44.448] And this was brought to our attention by our non-alcoholic friends who read over this manuscript to see if it went against the grain anywhere

[00:07:44.448 – 00:07:48.888] or else, uh, uh, or the alcoholics were getting into the public’s business.

[00:07:48.888 – 00:07:58.948] Thank God that the members of Alcoholics Anonymous in those days could come to see the nature of what, what happened to us, maybe, if we had gotten involved and tried to be all things

[00:07:58.948 – 00:07:59.748] for all people.

[00:07:59.748 – 00:08:04.428] And so, and, and, and, but I had many, many years to go before I was to realize this.

[00:08:04.428 – 00:08:05.148] I certainly did.

[00:08:05.148 – 00:08:15.288] And then Molina also said that although we, we do not give any honors or awards or medals for our sobriety, after that particular open meeting, being it’s the last

[00:08:15.288 – 00:08:23.428] Sunday of the month, they have sort of a social gathering to where they have ice cream and cake and punch and tea and et cetera and et cetera.

[00:08:23.428 – 00:08:30.168] It’s sort of a little party for those who have obtained and maintained one or more years of continuous sobriety.

[00:08:30.168 – 00:08:35.348] And we would like for you and your wife to come to that open meeting and stay for the social.

[00:08:35.348 – 00:08:45.518] And I thought that the reason that, that people such as you, the only reason that people such as you would invite someone such as me to come to one of your AA meetings or AA socials,

[00:08:45.518 – 00:08:52.688] that you needed to have some good-looking, outstanding, and professional man come and upgrade you lepers in the community.

[00:08:52.688 – 00:08:55.868] And I’m glad to come help you.

[00:08:55.868 – 00:09:02.128] And so I went home, and I told my wife, and God, she was thrilled because people had long since quit asking us to come around.

[00:09:02.128 – 00:09:12.148] My wife, Grace, used to ask me, “Why isn’t it we’re not asked to the outdoor barbecues and square dances and swim pool parties and nightclub suppers and pin the tail on the

[00:09:12.148 – 00:09:15.248] donkey, whatever drunks do?” And I said, “It’s you.

[00:09:15.248 – 00:09:24.668] It’s you.” Uh, that every time we’re asked to go out on Saturday night, you start on me on the Monday before, and you start screaming at me, ‘You’re not gonna drink.

[00:09:24.668 – 00:09:34.928] You’re not gonna get drunk, are you?’ And you wake me up out of a sound sleep five o’clock the next morning screaming, ‘Did you hear what I said?’ And you keep it up Tuesday,

[00:09:34.928 – 00:09:38.248] Tuesday night, Wednesday, Wednesday night, Thursday, Thursday night.

[00:09:38.248 – 00:09:41.668] And what a tremendous price society’s had to pay.

[00:09:41.668 – 00:09:47.288] Those who love us, those who hate us, those who don’t even care we exist on this earth.

[00:09:47.288 – 00:09:54.468] What a tremendous price society’s had to pay to find out that the more you scream at a drunk about his drinking, the more we’re gonna drink.

[00:09:54.468 – 00:10:04.708] I said, “Then furthermore, when we get where we’re supposed to get to, before I can even park the car, you’re out of the car, you run in, you grab the host, the hostess, you chase them out of the kitchen,

[00:10:04.708 – 00:10:11.908] through the den, the backyard, the alleys, and the bushes, and the neighborhood, screaming, ‘Don’t you give him a drink.’ Woman, you’re sick.

[00:10:11.908 – 00:10:21.928] That’s what’s wrong with you.” But through tear-filled eyes, she said, “We’re going to meet.” And then I said, “Yeah.” And so that Sunday morning, I got up at 5:30 in the

[00:10:21.928 – 00:10:25.807] morning to get ready to go to an AA meeting 5:30 that afternoon.

[00:10:25.807 – 00:10:31.288] Well, what does a good self-respectful drinking drunk do when he gets up 5:30 on Sunday morning?

[00:10:31.288 – 00:10:32.888] Drinks whiskey, that’s what he does.

[00:10:32.888 – 00:10:34.608] Let’s face it.

[00:10:34.608 – 00:10:35.408] It’s very simple.

[00:10:35.408 – 00:10:38.548] Golfers golf, fishermen fish, drunks drink.

[00:10:38.548 – 00:10:39.648] There’s no big mystery.

[00:10:39.648 – 00:10:43.328] And I started sucking on a brand-new bottle of whiskey.

[00:10:43.328 – 00:10:46.348] You know how it is when you take that first drink, gets your breathing started.

[00:10:46.348 – 00:10:49.508] Then that second drink regulates your breathing.

[00:10:49.508 – 00:10:53.748] Then that third drink goes down to both heels and just sets you there.

[00:10:53.748 – 00:10:57.948] Now you’re ready to do some real drinking, aren’t you?

[00:10:57.948 – 00:11:05.248] And I’m drinking, and I’m looking up at the birds and the bees and the trees and the leaves and the sky, and I’m hearing the neighbors screaming, “Johnny, get ready.

[00:11:05.248 – 00:11:08.588] We’re gonna be late for church.” And I said, “Oh, them sick people.

[00:11:08.588 – 00:11:14.948] They don’t know what living really is.” And then I start doing my meditating and praying.

[00:11:14.948 – 00:11:24.988] Now, we hear it in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous all the time that due to the innate nature of our spiritual illness, our selfishness, our self-centeredness, that we care very, very little for God

[00:11:24.988 – 00:11:26.098] and prayer and meditation.

[00:11:26.098 – 00:11:30.108] I disagree with you because I used to thank God for the grain.

[00:11:30.108 – 00:11:33.708] I thank God for the farmers that harvested the grain.

[00:11:33.708 – 00:11:39.188] I thank God for the distillers that made that grain and that wonderful thing called alcohol.

[00:11:39.188 – 00:11:49.468] And we hear it in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous all the time that due to the innate nature of our spiritual illness, our vanity, our pride, our ego, that we care very little for the common

[00:11:49.468 – 00:11:51.028] welfare of our fellow man.

[00:11:51.028 – 00:12:01.668] I disagree with you because I used to ask God all the time, “God, please show a special love and kindness and concern for those folks who thought that drinking liquor was sinful.”

[00:12:01.668 – 00:12:11.788] I said, “God, if they could just learn how to control it and enjoy it like I was doing, that they would find out that right after breathing in and out, it is the greatest gift

[00:12:11.788 – 00:12:13.308] that man’s been ever given.

[00:12:13.308 – 00:12:14.948] Amen,” and I took another drink.

[00:12:14.948 – 00:12:25.008] I drank about a half of that fifth of that whiskey and put the other half of the fifth in the trunk of my car because I knew at that time that I was going to be required to have

[00:12:25.008 – 00:12:31.208] another drink of alcohol later on that day, not knowing the exact reason until I came to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:12:31.208 – 00:12:41.208] And I’m one of these that firmly believes that when and if an alcoholic comes to Alcoholics Anonymous, and until and unless that alcoholic is willing to find out what’s wrong with

[00:12:41.208 – 00:12:46.708] that alcoholic, that alcoholic will never be able to find out what can get right with that alcoholic.

[00:12:46.708 – 00:12:51.468] And I can only tell you this as a result of my own experiences, as my story will reveal.

[00:12:51.468 – 00:12:58.968] And I went in and I bathed and I shaved and I put on everything rich and nice looking to impress those people in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:12:58.968 – 00:13:08.088] I put on a beautiful brand-new tailor-made suit, white on white monogram shirt, monogram handkerchief, monogram tie, monogram drawers.

[00:13:08.088 – 00:13:18.107] Put on my diamond ring, my diamond watch, and the trademark of every good, self-respectful, high-rolling, drinking drunk, a brand-new pair of custom-made alligator

[00:13:18.108 – 00:13:18.568] shoes.

[00:13:18.568 – 00:13:22.428] I looked just like a used car sales.

[00:13:22.428 – 00:13:29.968] And at ten thirty in the morning, I’m out in my, my long Roadmaster Buick honking the horn.

[00:13:29.968 – 00:13:40.048] And out comes my wife with the rollers in her hair, and she has on, it’s that all your fault Pomona that they just love to live in and die in and dwell in

[00:13:40.048 – 00:13:41.028] and cry in.

[00:13:41.028 – 00:13:46.528] To where she’s lost a rope around the middle of it, and it’s pinned together with a big baby diaper pin.

[00:13:46.528 – 00:13:52.288] And where she’s pulled all the padding and the threading and the buttons and the fuzzing off the front, and the fru…

[00:13:52.288 – 00:13:55.368] you know, the front’s just covered with tear stains and cigarette burns.

[00:13:55.368 – 00:14:01.808] And she said, “What do you want, drunk?” Meanwhile, all the neighbors had gathered out.

[00:14:01.808 – 00:14:06.988] And her side is lined up over here, and my side is lined up over here.

[00:14:06.988 – 00:14:17.228] And I can still hear the fine ladies of the neighborhood saying, “Isn’t it a shame that such a beautiful and fine lady and the mother of two beautiful little boys

[00:14:17.228 – 00:14:24.568] married to such a sorry, no-good drunk like him?” And my bunch over here hollering out, “Let her have it, David.

[00:14:24.568 – 00:14:31.888] Let her have it.” And that used to be the weekend entertainment in every neighborhood we lived in.

[00:14:31.888 – 00:14:37.628] We moved twenty-four times before we come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:14:37.628 – 00:14:47.848] Sometimes at midnight, sometimes at high noon, sometimes at daybreak, sometimes ahead of the sheriff, sometimes

[00:14:47.848 – 00:14:51.208] with the sheriff, sometimes behind the sheriff.

[00:14:51.208 – 00:14:52.508] Just kept moving.

[00:14:52.508 – 00:15:00.228] I said, “Let’s go to the meeting.” She says, “Doesn’t get started for seven more hours, drunk.” And with that, she turned on her heels and went in the house.

[00:15:00.228 – 00:15:08.688] And that started seven tough hours because I violated a very serious code in my drinking that day, because I started sucking on the only bottle of whiskey I had.

[00:15:08.688 – 00:15:12.448] And I knew I was going to have to have me a drink later on that day.

[00:15:12.448 – 00:15:22.448] And I knew that if, if I slipped off and ran off and went either to the bootlegger, called a taxi cab, or somewhere on Sunday, that I wouldn’t show back up because I was one

[00:15:22.448 – 00:15:26.688] of those kind that once I started drinking, I had to drink all the way down the deal.

[00:15:26.688 – 00:15:27.368] It wasn’t, I…

[00:15:27.368 – 00:15:33.368] One of the biggest problems that people had tried to get me sober, they pulled me off a, off of a drunk green.

[00:15:33.368 – 00:15:35.808] You know, it’s just like, like pulling a fruit off before it ripens.

[00:15:35.808 – 00:15:42.188] And so consequently, I was one of them kind, now once I got to rolling, I just, I was a disappearing kind of a drunk, you know?

[00:15:42.188 – 00:15:43.408] Not on purpose.

[00:15:43.408 – 00:15:46.348] I’d drink, and I’d end up with people and places and things.

[00:15:46.348 – 00:15:47.468] Didn’t know how I got there.

[00:15:47.468 – 00:15:48.988] Didn’t know where I was.

[00:15:48.988 – 00:15:50.028] Didn’t know where I was going.

[00:15:50.028 – 00:15:52.388] One time, I was gone almost nine months.

[00:15:52.388 – 00:15:53.868] Nobody knew where I was.

[00:15:53.868 – 00:15:59.848] My mother, my father, my wife, my children, my patients, my enemies, nobody knew where I was.

[00:15:59.848 – 00:16:06.388] And I come running in the house and, and with the same clothes I’d been in and around about two, three months, you know.

[00:16:06.388 – 00:16:16.468] And I come running in the house, and I ask my wife this brilliant question, “Did anybody call?” And that does not make for good marriage

[00:16:16.468 – 00:16:18.428] relationships, I don’t mind telling you.

[00:16:18.428 – 00:16:29.008] And so I knew, but, but you see, my ego demanded that I take my wife to that meeting just in case that those two ladies who said they were alcoholic

[00:16:29.008 – 00:16:39.148] and who said that they were sober one or more years, and I was going to be around a group of people who said that maybe they were alcoholics and had been sober any length

[00:16:39.148 – 00:16:39.688] of time.

[00:16:39.688 – 00:16:49.988] And if any of those people even suspicioned that I may have just a small, minor, little problem with alcohol, I wanted to bring them the reason

[00:16:49.988 – 00:16:52.808] to them and show them the reason, and that was my wife.

[00:16:52.808 – 00:16:59.608] And I knew that if I slipped off and got drunk, I’d blow the deal, and them folks would be on me like the gum on the heel of my shoe.

[00:16:59.608 – 00:17:04.388] So I just found enough to nurse me along, and finally at four thirty, I honked the horn.

[00:17:04.388 – 00:17:05.688] Here she came, and off we went.

[00:17:05.688 – 00:17:07.968] And we went to this meeting.

[00:17:07.968 – 00:17:17.968] We walked in, and there must have been about eighty members of Alcoholics Anonymous and their wives and their kids and their poodle or two, uh, jumping up and down, and everybody’s smoking cigarettes and hugging and talking at

[00:17:17.968 – 00:17:18.828] the same time.

[00:17:18.828 – 00:17:28.868] And I looked around, and I saw all them signs, and I says, “My God, I’m in a kindergarten.” And then I saw But for the Grace of God, and my head ducked because I knew at

[00:17:28.868 – 00:17:33.278] that time that I was not living according to dictates of God’s will for human beings.

[00:17:33.278 – 00:17:43.288] And I’m one of these members of Alcoholics Anonymous that firmly, firmly believes that when an alcoholic comes to us, that after that

[00:17:43.288 – 00:17:53.308] alcoholic gets physically comfortable, that deep down inside, every one of us know this, even though

[00:17:53.308 – 00:17:56.628] many of us come to Alcoholics Anonymous without a full string of lights.

[00:17:56.628 – 00:18:06.848] Because you see, AA has accomplished something and is doing something that medicine on a continuing basis

[00:18:06.848 – 00:18:08.088] has not been able to do it.

[00:18:08.088 – 00:18:13.067] Organized religion on a continuing basis has not been able to do it.

[00:18:13.067 – 00:18:23.188] United States government, the welfare states, the Army, the Navy, the Marine Corps, the Coast Guard, the Salvation Army, you Coast Guard, you just have never been able to do it because

[00:18:23.188 – 00:18:27.308] AA reaches down into a place that comes with each and every one of us when we’re born.

[00:18:27.308 – 00:18:36.268] This little thing that after we get physically free of alcohol, this little thing that says to us, “Thank you, little drunk, for not taking a drink of alcohol today.

[00:18:36.268 – 00:18:40.628] Thank you, little drunk, for finding a way to have a reasonably good night’s sleep.

[00:18:40.628 – 00:18:50.678] Thank you, little drunk, for finding a group of people who love you no matter what you have done, what you are doing now, or what you ever will do.” And

[00:18:50.678 – 00:18:52.818] that is where the great power of our society

[00:18:52.931 – 00:18:54.871] He lies, one drunk talking to another.

[00:18:54.871 – 00:18:57.831] But I had many, many years to go before I was to realize this.

[00:18:57.831 – 00:18:58.611] I certainly did.

[00:18:58.611 – 00:19:07.131] And then I looked around and I saw what I then believed, still believe, to be the most dangerous sign you can put in an AA facility, in an AA group, and that’s the one that says think.

[00:19:07.131 – 00:19:12.451] Because it’s dangerous for our kind of folks to think, drunk, sober, or dead.

[00:19:12.451 – 00:19:22.470] And if you don’t believe it, you pat a little drunk on the head and tell him how good he’s doing in AA, and out of AA, let him get on the corner and start thinking for himself, and he’ll

[00:19:22.511 – 00:19:24.271] get drunker than an eight dollar bill on you.

[00:19:24.271 – 00:19:32.061] They blew a whistle and everybody went in the meeting, and I went and I sat on the back row to look those people over to see what kind of help I could afford to give them.

[00:19:32.061 – 00:19:42.131] And the first speaker got up there, and it was a woman, and I took one look at her and fell out of my chair because that’s the lyingest, cheatingest person I’d ever been around

[00:19:42.131 – 00:19:42.751] in my life.

[00:19:42.751 – 00:19:51.831] And that lady had nerve enough to stand up in front of eighty people and say she was sober, insane, in her right mind, and had not had a drink of alcohol in a year.

[00:19:51.831 – 00:20:01.851] And I jumped up and I screamed out, “You’re a liar.” And somebody says, “Shut up.” You know how a wet drunk answers you

[00:20:01.851 – 00:20:03.531] when you tell him to shut up?

[00:20:03.531 – 00:20:08.361] “Make me.” Well, they had enough there to make me, I’ll tell you.

[00:20:08.361 – 00:20:13.281] And then this woman started talking about a miracle, miracle, miracle.

[00:20:13.281 – 00:20:15.831] What seemed to me like ten minutes on this one word, miracle.

[00:20:15.831 – 00:20:21.991] And I couldn’t stand it, and I looked back sober and realized maybe it’s two, three, four seconds, and I jumped up.

[00:20:21.991 – 00:20:30.231] This time I got on the chair, and I pointed a finger and I said, “Tell it, you big liar.” And this time the put down and the shut up was firmer.

[00:20:30.231 – 00:20:40.251] And then this lady said as a result of the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, she called Christ back in her life, and if anyone who comes to Alcoholics Anonymous, unless they found

[00:20:40.251 – 00:20:48.071] Christ as the truth and uses their power greater than themselves, that there was no way in this world that they could stay sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:20:48.071 – 00:20:58.091] And I said to myself at that time, “What a heck of a trick to pull on a Jew.” That y’all invited me

[00:20:58.091 – 00:21:03.071] to this deal to convert me, and if this is what you were, I needed a drink bad, you know?

[00:21:03.071 – 00:21:09.411] Now I’m asked all the time, how come there are not any more Jews in Alcoholics Anonymous than what there is?

[00:21:09.411 – 00:21:10.751] Well, you see, it’s very simple.

[00:21:10.751 – 00:21:17.111] You see, the way people have their noses fixed and their names changed, you don’t know who you’re sitting next to in an AA meeting.

[00:21:17.111 – 00:21:26.511] But my mind closed, and I didn’t hear anything else that was said that meeting because I violated a very serious code in my living and my drinking.

[00:21:26.511 – 00:21:33.471] Because I started drinking with, working with, getting drunk with, fighting with, cheating with the Black and the white wino, which was in Skid Row.

[00:21:33.471 – 00:21:37.171] It’s Skid Row today, and I guess it’ll be always Skid Row.

[00:21:37.171 – 00:21:45.491] And I’ve lived on three of them in my lifetime, one for over six years, one for over four and a half years, but that last one for the fourteen months, it was the toughest.

[00:21:45.491 – 00:21:49.791] And I’m not going to stand up here tonight and share life on Skid Row with you.

[00:21:49.791 – 00:22:00.231] But the kind of life that I lived on the Skid Rows that I lived, you know, there was no night and there was no day, and there was no sky, and there were no clouds, and there were no stars, and there was no sun,

[00:22:00.231 – 00:22:05.911] and there was no moon, and there was no seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.

[00:22:05.911 – 00:22:09.791] Just total, total inner and outer blackness and darkness.

[00:22:09.791 – 00:22:14.511] And the best way I can describe that kind of an existence is just bodies and feet.

[00:22:14.511 – 00:22:16.611] You don’t care if you live.

[00:22:16.611 – 00:22:17.891] You don’t care if you die.

[00:22:17.891 – 00:22:19.271] You don’t care if you eat.

[00:22:19.271 – 00:22:20.710] You don’t care if you don’t eat.

[00:22:20.710 – 00:22:22.011] You don’t care if you sleep.

[00:22:22.011 – 00:22:23.811] You don’t care if you stay awake.

[00:22:23.811 – 00:22:25.591] You don’t care if you work.

[00:22:25.591 – 00:22:26.991] You don’t care if you don’t work.

[00:22:26.991 – 00:22:28.210] You don’t care if you bathe.

[00:22:28.210 – 00:22:29.471] You don’t care if you don’t bathe.

[00:22:29.471 – 00:22:31.411] You just don’t care.

[00:22:31.411 – 00:22:34.141] And an alcoholic cannot stay on Skid Row.

[00:22:34.141 – 00:22:39.371] An alcoholic has got to get off of Skid Row because an alcoholic will not share his bottle with anyone.

[00:22:39.371 – 00:22:44.511] An alcoholic will lie about if he’s drinking, if he’s got anything to drink.

[00:22:44.511 – 00:22:52.091] And if you lie, uh, about your drinking, and if you lie whether you have or you ain’t down on the Row, you’re not long for this earth, I don’t mind telling you.

[00:22:52.091 – 00:22:57.651] And I didn’t have to be down there because I came from one of the finest families that God ever put on this earth.

[00:22:57.651 – 00:23:04.191] As a son, I was blessed with the most beautiful mother and father that any son could ever wish for, hope for, desire for.

[00:23:04.191 – 00:23:14.631] A mother and father who dedicated their lives to give to the two sons that were born to that marriage, and I being the oldest, everything that was denied them when they were growing up.

[00:23:14.631 – 00:23:15.831] And if one of their alcoholic…

[00:23:15.831 – 00:23:25.991] uh, sons is going to be an alcoholic, I don’t know of a better deal when you’ve got a mother and father that’s willing to go to any length to keep you from hurting and to keep you from suffering and bail you out of every one of your problems.

[00:23:25.991 – 00:23:36.091] And fourteen and a half years before my mother and father, uh, before I got sober rather, fourteen and a half years before I got sober, the mother, uh, the religion that my mother

[00:23:36.091 – 00:23:43.971] and father were born in, lived in, died in, and very devout, they lit the candles of the dead and said the prayers of the dead for seven consecutive days.

[00:23:43.971 – 00:23:47.271] And on their eighth day, their son was no longer alive in their mind.

[00:23:47.271 – 00:23:48.091] He was dead.

[00:23:48.091 – 00:23:53.611] And that’s the greatest thing they could have done for them because that was total release.

[00:23:53.611 – 00:24:03.631] And in writing my four-step inventory, in my resentments and my hate for my mother and father for what they had done to me, and I looked at it and, and looked

[00:24:03.631 – 00:24:09.851] at it realistically in the light of sobriety that Alcoholics Anonymous allows us to live in.

[00:24:09.851 – 00:24:19.971] And I looked at it and I says, “Why should I have resented them?” When I looked at them and I then realized that up until the time my mother and father

[00:24:19.971 – 00:24:26.371] prayed me dead, they were the worst parents that I could have possibly had because they never allowed me to fall.

[00:24:26.371 – 00:24:28.731] They broke every fall I had.

[00:24:28.731 – 00:24:32.931] And thank God they did what they did.

[00:24:32.931 – 00:24:34.991] They didn’t know anything about Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:24:34.991 – 00:24:36.391] They didn’t know anything about Al-Anon.

[00:24:36.391 – 00:24:41.751] They didn’t know anything about release with love or release with hate or hate and release or whatever it was.

[00:24:41.751 – 00:24:45.091] But they did it for their sanity.

[00:24:45.091 – 00:24:52.011] And it’s, isn’t it paradoxical that we get sober and live this way of life for our sanity?

[00:24:52.011 – 00:24:55.261] And with the sanity comes our life.

[00:24:55.261 – 00:25:00.419] But I had many, many years to go before I realized this.

[00:25:00.419 – 00:25:01.179] I certainly did.

[00:25:01.179 – 00:25:05.009] And I started working down there on Skid Row as a youngster, ten and a half.

[00:25:05.009 – 00:25:07.579] I started drinking bay rum and wine, and that was the standard fare.

[00:25:07.579 – 00:25:14.499] And then as I grow older physically and get more money in my pocket, I go from that bay rum and wine to that good stuff, never miss a lick.

[00:25:14.499 – 00:25:18.699] Come back down from that good stuff down to gypsy rose and Thunderbird, never miss a lick.

[00:25:18.699 – 00:25:20.959] And I don’t know about anybody in here.

[00:25:20.959 – 00:25:23.379] I wasn’t drinking it because of the price of it, the smell of it.

[00:25:23.379 – 00:25:26.219] I wasn’t drinking it because it was socially acceptable.

[00:25:26.219 – 00:25:31.679] I was not drinking it because it’ll make you a better dancer, worse dancer, better fighter, worse fighter, better lover, worse lover.

[00:25:31.679 – 00:25:41.759] I was drinking it because I liked what it did to me and with me and for me when it got in and down and through me, and I liked what it allowed me to do to you and with you or against you

[00:25:41.759 – 00:25:43.599] when it got in and down and through me.

[00:25:43.599 – 00:25:53.599] And little did I realize that the first drink of alcohol that I took, it affected my head in such a way that my head said, “David, every chance you’re going to get, you’re going to take a drink

[00:25:53.599 – 00:25:58.659] of alcohol to reproduce that initial effect.” And right there and then, it was the beginning of a problem.

[00:25:58.659 – 00:26:02.919] But right there and then, that wonderful effect, I thought it was an answer for David.

[00:26:02.919 – 00:26:07.758] And so I thought I was working on the answer, but all the time I was working on the problem.

[00:26:07.758 – 00:26:12.419] That’s the reason why we become expert problem drinkers, because we’re working on the problem.

[00:26:12.419 – 00:26:17.219] You know, and if it gets more complicated than that, I’m going to have to go get me another deal, you know.

[00:26:17.219 – 00:26:20.459] And so, and I learned a lot of other things down on Skid Row.

[00:26:20.459 – 00:26:22.419] Never get your back up against the wall.

[00:26:22.419 – 00:26:24.999] Always have a back door window you can jump out of.

[00:26:24.999 – 00:26:28.079] You drink that wine like I, that wine will hang you without a rope, you know.

[00:26:28.079 – 00:26:33.219] If you smoke or eat anything, keep both hands free so you can hit and run.

[00:26:33.219 – 00:26:35.079] I’ve always been five foot six.

[00:26:35.079 – 00:26:37.079] I was born five foot six.

[00:26:37.079 – 00:26:40.199] And I’d drink that juice and I’d be seven foot tall.

[00:26:40.199 – 00:26:43.179] I’ve had thousands of fights, never won a one.

[00:26:43.179 – 00:26:45.769] My nose has been where my navel is.

[00:26:45.769 – 00:26:47.139] My navel’s been where I’m right here.

[00:26:47.139 – 00:26:48.379] I’ve been all rearranged.

[00:26:48.379 – 00:26:53.999] When I was a kid, 14, 15, 16, I run off and joined Ringling Brothers and Barnum Bailey Circus.

[00:26:53.999 – 00:27:02.159] And back in those days, the Ringling show was the finest show, the largest show, and the best show under canvas in this whole entire world.

[00:27:02.159 – 00:27:06.279] And God, it would have been a thrill for the youngster to go with the circus in those days.

[00:27:06.279 – 00:27:08.659] And God, he’d come to a town, you know, like St.

[00:27:08.659 – 00:27:12.499] Louis and Kansas City and Indianapolis and Richmond, Virginia.

[00:27:12.499 – 00:27:16.359] And God, the animals would drag their wagons through the streets of the main town.

[00:27:16.359 – 00:27:22.979] And the calliope would be playing and all the clowns and the Wild West riders and the wild animals.

[00:27:22.979 – 00:27:28.519] And I went because you could drink and because you could fight and do all those things.

[00:27:28.519 – 00:27:31.199] And I look around here and I don’t see any circus-looking drinkers.

[00:27:31.199 – 00:27:39.119] But I learned to drink the most beautiful concoction that’s ever been devised by a man called Green Lizard Circus Style.

[00:27:39.119 – 00:27:41.019] Tremendous drink.

[00:27:41.019 – 00:27:44.579] Elixir of sodium bromide, Lucky Tiger hair tonic.

[00:27:44.579 – 00:27:51.459] And you know, I used to drink that stuff and I’d see Bambi and those animals in Technicolor long before Walt Disney ever put them on screen.

[00:27:51.459 – 00:27:55.099] But you see, I was trying to live three codes of living.

[00:27:55.099 – 00:28:05.139] I was trying to live the code of living that society demanded I live, to go to school, become a useful human being, and be of service to my country and service to my fellow man and not end

[00:28:05.139 – 00:28:09.479] up in jails and in other places and all those other good things that happen to our kind of people.

[00:28:09.479 – 00:28:11.919] That’s what we call having fun drinking, you know.

[00:28:11.919 – 00:28:17.019] And then I was trying to live the code of living my mother and father wanted me to live and they had all the money.

[00:28:17.019 – 00:28:27.059] And if you had already been in all the trouble I had been in, was in, and getting ready to get into, it takes a lot of money to get you out so you can get back in it again.

[00:28:27.059 – 00:28:32.899] And then I was trying to live the code of living that alcohol was demanding on my life and you’re way ahead of me.

[00:28:32.899 – 00:28:34.059] You know which one went out.

[00:28:34.059 – 00:28:44.149] And here I am, I’m sitting on that back row and there’s not a back door or window to jump out of and that woman talking about Christ and I’m wanting to drink bad and every

[00:28:44.149 – 00:28:54.199] time I stood up to walk through those 80 people to go out to the trunk of my car to get that half bottle of whiskey, it looked like 80 people stood up, turned around, looked at me, pointed fingers and

[00:28:54.199 – 00:29:04.359] says, “Now you sit here and you shut up and you listen.” And I hated every member of Alcoholics Anonymous that was in that meeting and the horse and wagons that

[00:29:04.359 – 00:29:08.999] brung them over, I don’t mind telling you, because they would not let me go get a drink.

[00:29:08.999 – 00:29:19.459] And I made a deal right there with those members of Alcoholics Anonymous that if they would not give me a drink of alcohol right there in any of that meeting or let me go out to my car and get a drink and come back in,

[00:29:19.459 – 00:29:23.239] I was not going to listen to anything that those people had to say.

[00:29:23.239 – 00:29:25.659] And that deal darn near killed me.

[00:29:25.659 – 00:29:33.279] And it wasn’t until I come to Alcoholics Anonymous many, many, many years later and they shoved a book in my hand called Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:29:33.279 – 00:29:43.419] May I remind every member of Alcoholics Anonymous in this meeting, every Al-Anon, if there are Alateens that are here, if there are any of our non-alcoholic

[00:29:43.419 – 00:29:51.679] friends that are not members of any of the fellowships that love us, may I remind all of us that it is the only book in print with the two words on it.

[00:29:51.679 – 00:29:55.859] There is not another book just like it, greater than, more than, less than.

[00:29:55.859 – 00:29:59.059] If it’s not it, it’s not it.

[00:29:59.059 – 00:30:09.159] And I don’t know about you, but I wonder how many of us members of Alcoholics Anonymous stop and realize that when we tell anyone,

[00:30:09.159 – 00:30:18.979] whether it be another alcoholic, whether it be our friends, our minister in life, our employer, or people who we work with, it doesn’t make any difference who it is.

[00:30:18.979 – 00:30:27.479] When we tell anyone that we’re members of Alcoholics Anonymous, how many of us stop and realize that we’re the results of what’s in that book?

[00:30:27.479 – 00:30:37.719] Because it is in the cover of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous that that is where our entire recovery program is, not out of context, but in continuity,

[00:30:37.719 – 00:30:39.999] and in nowhere else, and it belongs to us.

[00:30:39.999 – 00:30:42.779] It belongs to the members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:30:42.779 – 00:30:52.859] And I don’t know about you, but tonight before I retire and I take my 11th step and talk to the God of my understanding and thank him for allowing a monkey

[00:30:52.859 – 00:30:59.199] like me to live this day sober in spite of me, I ask myself what kind of member of Alcoholics Anonymous have I lived this day?

[00:30:59.199 – 00:31:07.975] Am I a member who’s had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, or am I one of these kind that wants you to believe that I’ve had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps?

[00:31:07.975 – 00:31:17.975] That I know all the cliches, and I know all the commas, and I know all the paragraphs, and can quote the promises and everything else, and look real good on the outside and got a concrete block

[00:31:17.975 – 00:31:21.455] on the inside of me that you can land a seven forty-seven.

[00:31:21.455 – 00:31:32.095] Have I lived this kind of day that when anyone knows I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, if I have the wonderful privilege to visit a sick drunk that’s drinking at the bedside or a confused

[00:31:32.095 – 00:31:38.415] alcoholic that’s hurting that although is not drinking this day, alcoholic is an alcoholic.

[00:31:38.415 – 00:31:44.615] Have I lived this kind of day that anyone knows I went, “Yes, I want to pick up my bed and walk with you”?

[00:31:44.615 – 00:31:55.975] And each and every night that I take that inventory, I find that I fall far short for what this alcoholic believes that Alcoholics Anonymous can really, really give every one of us, every

[00:31:55.975 – 00:31:56.515] one of us.

[00:31:56.515 – 00:31:59.875] And thank God we just grow along spiritual lines.

[00:31:59.875 – 00:32:02.635] We do not claim spiritual perfection.

[00:32:02.635 – 00:32:05.305] But I had many, many years to go before I realized this.

[00:32:05.305 – 00:32:06.115] I certainly did.

[00:32:06.115 – 00:32:11.215] And I never will forget when I come back many, many years later, and they shoved that book in my hand.

[00:32:11.215 – 00:32:19.915] And, and my sponsor and another drunk, they drug me over there, “Come over here.” And they said, “Show me that book.” And I showed them the book, and it had that blue dust cover on it.

[00:32:19.915 – 00:32:30.215] And they said, “What does it say on there?” And I said, “Alcoholics Anonymous.” And they said, “Well, what’s right underneath the two words Alcoholics Anonymous?” I said, “Well, there’s a triangle with a circle.” And they said, “Okay,

[00:32:30.215 – 00:32:31.735] boy.” They used to call me boy.

[00:32:31.735 – 00:32:36.095] And they said, “Now, boy, that is the logo of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:32:36.095 – 00:32:37.494] It’s not the praying hands.

[00:32:37.494 – 00:32:38.395] It ain’t a cross…

[00:32:38.395 – 00:32:39.535] And it’s not a cross.

[00:32:39.535 – 00:32:40.435] It ain’t a lighter.

[00:32:40.435 – 00:32:41.495] It’s not this.

[00:32:41.495 – 00:32:42.515] It’s not a butterfly.

[00:32:42.515 – 00:32:43.415] It ain’t a pigeon.

[00:32:43.415 – 00:32:53.415] It is a triangle with a circle, and the bottom of that triangle is recovery and then unity and then service circumscribed by the whole circle

[00:32:53.415 – 00:33:03.435] that the sun never sets on Alcoholics Anonymous in the whole world.” And then he said, “What’s down at the bottom of it?” And I said, “It said it’s the basic text.” He said, “Boy, that

[00:33:03.435 – 00:33:05.495] means that that is the foundation.

[00:33:05.495 – 00:33:08.775] You don’t go no deeper, nor do you go more than.

[00:33:08.775 – 00:33:12.584] That’s where you start from.” And then he said, “Now, turn the book.” And I did.

[00:33:12.584 – 00:33:17.055] And he said, “What’s on the next page?” And I said, “Nothing.

[00:33:17.055 – 00:33:28.295] It’s vacant.” Finally, he, he said, “You know why nothing’s on that page?” I says, “No, sir.” He says, “‘Cause you don’t know nothing.” He

[00:33:28.295 – 00:33:33.395] said, “If you knew something about living sober, you wouldn’t need this book.” Then he turned the next page.

[00:33:33.395 – 00:33:36.005] “Read it.” I, I said, “What does it say?” I said, “Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:33:36.005 – 00:33:40.175] It’s got the circle with the triangle.” He said, “What does it say down at the bottom?” It says, “A.A.

[00:33:40.175 – 00:33:43.175] World Services Incorporated.” He says, “That’s you and me.

[00:33:43.175 – 00:33:45.375] That’s every member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:33:45.375 – 00:33:55.115] That is how we have retained the copyright on the only thing that is saving our lives.” Then he said, “Turn the next page.” And I saw them dates.

[00:33:55.115 – 00:33:58.215] He said, “When was this book printed?” And I told him.

[00:33:58.215 – 00:34:08.255] He says, “Now I’m gonna give you the secret.” And I thought, “Man, here I am, just fresh new in Alcoholics Anonymous, and because of my brains and because of my brilliance,

[00:34:08.255 – 00:34:13.695] that they’re gonna right away, they’re gonna give me the real secret.” And he says, now, he says, I said…

[00:34:13.695 – 00:34:17.335] He says, “The secret is a key.” He says, “The secret is this.

[00:34:17.335 – 00:34:27.495] There are hundreds and hundreds of thousands of alcoholics just such as you, David, who have come to Alcoholics Anonymous, who have tried to change what’s in that book.” He says, “The key is,

[00:34:27.555 – 00:34:36.435] let what’s in that book change you.” And I said, “Yes, sir.” And so I started reading it.

[00:34:36.435 – 00:34:44.135] He says, “And by the way,” he said, “when you start to read that book, don’t you open up the end of that book and start reading them stories at the end of the book, ’cause you’re not the end of your problem.

[00:34:44.135 – 00:34:49.035] And don’t open it up in the middle of the book and start reading the middle of the book, ’cause you’re not in the middle of your problem.

[00:34:49.035 – 00:34:59.035] You start from the front, and you start to read it because it’s in context and in continuity and the proper way in which it was written.” And so I started reading

[00:34:59.035 – 00:35:03.055] it, and I got to the doctor’s opinion, and being a part of the medical profession, that interested me.

[00:35:03.055 – 00:35:04.755] And I began to read it.

[00:35:04.755 – 00:35:14.755] And I began to read what I believe right this second to be two and a half pages of the finest writing about the malady as we understand it in Alcoholics Anonymous to ever been put in

[00:35:14.755 – 00:35:15.095] print.

[00:35:15.095 – 00:35:18.595] It has to be because it has stood the acid of time.

[00:35:18.595 – 00:35:25.125] And today, it is the basis for the A.A.

[00:35:25.125 – 00:35:32.575] so-called method in every successful treatment modality in the world today for an alcoholic.

[00:35:32.575 – 00:35:33.975] And Dr.

[00:35:33.975 – 00:35:38.845] William Silkworth, here’s a little physician who treated over forty thousand alcoholics before A.A.

[00:35:38.845 – 00:35:40.785] got off the ground and over ten thousand after A.A.

[00:35:40.785 – 00:35:41.455] got started.

[00:35:41.455 – 00:35:48.435] And Silky writes that, “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.” That shot the balloon out of the air.

[00:35:48.435 – 00:35:50.735] I thought I drink because the kind of woman I was married to.

[00:35:50.735 – 00:35:53.955] I thought I was drinking because of them two rotten kids.

[00:35:53.955 – 00:35:58.155] I thought I was drinking because the Republicans was in and the Democrats was out.

[00:35:58.155 – 00:36:01.995] I thought I was drinking because my color, my size, my hair, my religion.

[00:36:01.995 – 00:36:04.615] I thought I was drinking ’cause I was recalled back into service.

[00:36:04.615 – 00:36:08.515] No, men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

[00:36:08.515 – 00:36:18.895] And although we will admit that it is elusive, we will admit that it is injurious, there comes a time when we cannot differentiate the true from the false, and then the alcoholic

[00:36:18.895 – 00:36:20.875] believes his life to be the only one.

[00:36:20.875 – 00:36:26.254] Well, doesn’t everybody get drunk on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, St.

[00:36:26.254 – 00:36:27.135] Patrick’s Day?

[00:36:27.135 – 00:36:31.075] When the sun goes up, the sun goes down, the sun just lays there.

[00:36:31.075 – 00:36:37.785] A drunk can be passed out two and a half weeks on his back right here in front down here, passed out.

[00:36:37.785 – 00:36:42.455] You kick him, wake him up, ask him, “Been drinking?” “Two beers,” and he’ll fall back down.

[00:36:42.455 – 00:36:47.515] Never one, never three, never a Carlo, two beers, you know.

[00:36:47.515 – 00:36:54.975] And then Silky writes, “We’re restless, irritable, and discontented.” I never was restless and irritable and discontented when I was drinking.

[00:36:54.975 – 00:36:55.595] I was drunk.

[00:36:55.595 – 00:37:00.015] It’s in between drunks that I was restless, irritable, discontented.

[00:37:00.015 – 00:37:10.275] “And until we can again experience the ease and comfort which seems to come at once after taking a few drinks, drinks that we see others taking with impunity.” My wife, Grace, used to say,

[00:37:10.275 – 00:37:13.815] “Why don’t you drink like Herman?” I said, “I don’t want to drink like Herman.

[00:37:13.815 – 00:37:23.835] I don’t even like Herman.” She says, “Why don’t you drink like so-and-so?” And I said, “Fine, let’s get so-and-so over to the house Saturday night.” He’d come over, and I’d feed so-and-so alcohol like

[00:37:23.835 – 00:37:24.155] I’m drink…

[00:37:24.155 – 00:37:34.175] “Come on, don’t drink like a little baby, a little drink.” Hour and a half later, so-and-so would be passed out on, on his back on my living room rug, and my foot

[00:37:34.175 – 00:37:35.935] would be on his navel.

[00:37:35.935 – 00:37:40.975] And I look at my wife, and I say, “And you want me to drink like this bum here,” you know?

[00:37:40.975 – 00:37:45.625] A- And Grace used to say, “Well, why don’t you drink like a man?” I said

[00:37:45.746 – 00:37:46.586] I’m drinking with both.

[00:37:46.586 – 00:37:48.386] This, what else you want me to do?

[00:37:48.386 – 00:37:50.906] Oh, here is a real good one.

[00:37:50.906 – 00:37:56.306] People used to say, “David, don’t you drink anymore?” I didn’t need anymore.

[00:37:56.306 – 00:37:58.586] What I was drinking was doing the job, you know?

[00:37:58.586 – 00:38:07.226] But once we succumb to the desire again, and unfortunately many of us will, here comes the thing that separates our kind from the so-called social drinker.

[00:38:07.226 – 00:38:08.506] I was a social drinker.

[00:38:08.506 – 00:38:09.666] I drank with anybody.

[00:38:09.666 – 00:38:11.006] Normal drinker.

[00:38:11.006 – 00:38:21.166] I don’t know what a normal drink, drinker was for anybody else, but for this alcoholic, a normal drink used to be get a half pint of whiskey, knock the cap off, suck her down in one swallow, and go

[00:38:21.166 – 00:38:21.986] for another, you know?

[00:38:21.986 – 00:38:28.326] But once we succumb to desire again, it sets up this phenomenon of craving for alcohol.

[00:38:28.326 – 00:38:31.306] My God, how my body craved alcohol.

[00:38:31.306 – 00:38:37.386] And when I read that, that is where I realized what was wrong with me at that meeting at that time.

[00:38:37.386 – 00:38:40.986] No, it wasn’t what that woman said about Christ.

[00:38:40.986 – 00:38:47.566] It wasn’t what anybody talked about, that God’s grace is a miracle of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:38:47.566 – 00:38:51.506] It wasn’t the Lord’s Prayer at the end of the meeting that turned me off.

[00:38:51.506 – 00:38:52.146] No, uh-uh.

[00:38:52.146 – 00:38:57.406] My body was screaming out for a drink, and my head knew where that body was.

[00:38:57.406 – 00:39:02.006] And until I got me a drink, I wasn’t gonna listen to anything else in AA.

[00:39:02.006 – 00:39:11.286] It’s in the mental obsession that condemns us to drink against our own will, and a physical compulsion that condemns us to die if we continue to drink.

[00:39:11.286 – 00:39:13.506] No, it wasn’t.

[00:39:13.506 – 00:39:21.326] And then Silk says then, once we go through that well-known spree and we end up remorseful, screaming to anybody that listens to us we’ll never do it again.

[00:39:21.326 – 00:39:25.256] And yet we did it again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

[00:39:25.256 – 00:39:25.916] And here’s where Dr.

[00:39:25.916 – 00:39:35.966] Silkworth lays out our recovery program so beautifully and so simply when he says, “Until such a person experiences such an, an entire s- ex- experiences

[00:39:35.966 – 00:39:44.746] an entire psychic change, there is very little hope for his recovery.” Well, how in Alcoholics Anonymous do we experience an entire psychic change?

[00:39:44.746 – 00:39:49.506] As a result of our ideals that are firmly grounded in a power greater than ourselves.

[00:39:49.506 – 00:39:54.606] And how in Alcoholics Anonymous do we firmly ground our ideals in a power greater than ourselves?

[00:39:54.606 – 00:40:00.686] Steps one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12.

[00:40:00.686 – 00:40:10.606] And then our co-founders knew that we would need more than, that we would be restless, miserable, discontented, so they gave us 12 more spiritual principles to live by, called our 12 traditions.

[00:40:10.606 – 00:40:19.266] Because not only as we live as individual and collectively members of Alcoholics Anonymous in our group, but other groups in A as a whole, and the world in which we live in.

[00:40:19.266 – 00:40:21.846] And that first tradition is a honey.

[00:40:21.846 – 00:40:23.606] Our common welfare should come first.

[00:40:23.606 – 00:40:26.646] Personal recovery depends upon AA unity.

[00:40:26.646 – 00:40:35.626] Common problem, common solution, common recovery, common Father, the oneness of one, which makes Alcoholics Anonymous all-inclusive and not exclusive.

[00:40:35.626 – 00:40:45.766] And then our co-founder Bill in 1962 gave us 12 more spiritual principles to live by, our 12 concepts of world service, so that the alcoholic

[00:40:45.766 – 00:40:55.906] that, uh, that, that will be the alcoholic, the baby that’s born right this second, right here, not too far in a hospital from where we’re meeting right now, will get as good a break

[00:40:55.906 – 00:40:58.166] as you and I have gotten when it come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:40:58.166 – 00:41:07.906] And it is our responsibility because it’s our gift that’s been given to us, an unmerited and a free gift, and we can keep it as long as we’re willing to give it away and ensure it in the manner in which it was given to me.

[00:41:07.906 – 00:41:10.606] But I had m- many, many years to go before I realized that.

[00:41:10.606 – 00:41:20.606] And then to those who do not understand, once such a person who has experienced this entire psychic change, a person who has been deemed helpless

[00:41:20.606 – 00:41:30.525] and hopeless and has so many problems and cannot realize how he or she will ever be able to solve them, can now very easily control their desire for alcohol.

[00:41:30.525 – 00:41:35.226] The only thing being that they be willing to follow a few simple rules.

[00:41:35.226 – 00:41:35.516] Well, Dr.

[00:41:35.516 – 00:41:40.286] Silkworth, being a non-alcoholic, he says rules, and us alcoholics, we don’t like rules.

[00:41:40.286 – 00:41:42.446] We don’t like regulations.

[00:41:42.446 – 00:41:44.526] We don’t like to be told what to, what not to.

[00:41:44.526 – 00:41:46.186] We just say suggestions.

[00:41:46.186 – 00:41:50.146] But after you’ve been in AA for a while, them suggestions become rules.

[00:41:50.146 – 00:42:00.326] Well, as soon as that meeting was over with and everybody goes for the coffee and the cake, I ran through that bunch, that bunch of 80 folks like a tornado, and I ran out to the trunk of my car.

[00:42:00.326 – 00:42:06.886] And I don’t know about you, but I got that half fifth of whiskey and I drank her down in two swallows, and that’s the way I drank alcohol.

[00:42:06.886 – 00:42:14.086] I didn’t put it in a brandy glass and run around and sniff it for four or five hours and burn candles and incense and listen to Lawrence Welk.

[00:42:14.086 – 00:42:23.906] And I didn’t put an inch in a glass and nine inches of something else and a straw and a fruit and a cherry and a half a Christmas tree on top of it and suck on it for about three hours.

[00:42:23.906 – 00:42:25.266] To me, that’s sick drinking.

[00:42:25.266 – 00:42:29.286] I drank it to drop her down that hole where it’d do the most good.

[00:42:29.286 – 00:42:33.246] You know, you know how it is when you want a drink of alcohol so bad, my God, it’s killing you.

[00:42:33.246 – 00:42:43.256] And you take a drink and it runs down your Adam’s apple and it gets in your chest well, starts pulsating like arrows, and then it runs down into your tummy, and then runs around your navel about nine or ten times.

[00:42:43.256 – 00:42:53.336] And then it starts down your right and your left, uh, uh, leg, you know, towards the five toenails on each foot, just cruising down there like the Indianapolis racers, you know, at the Indianapolis

[00:42:53.336 – 00:42:53.946] Speedway.

[00:42:53.946 – 00:42:58.086] And it gets down to them 10 toenails and makes a U-turn and starts coming back up.

[00:42:58.086 – 00:43:05.086] And it gets halfway between the ankle and the knee, and the head says, “I wonder if it’ll make her all the way up.

[00:43:05.086 – 00:43:14.586] I better drop another one down there to meet it.” And so the trick is when you’re drinking is to have one going down and one coming up, fellas.

[00:43:14.586 – 00:43:24.586] Now, until one has experienced the need to have that feeling fulfilled, and until once he’s experienced that feeling being fulfilled, we’ll never be able to

[00:43:24.586 – 00:43:25.966] comprehend what we’re talking about.

[00:43:25.966 – 00:43:28.626] And this is where the great power of our society lies.

[00:43:28.626 – 00:43:29.046] You too?

[00:43:29.046 – 00:43:29.386] Yes.

[00:43:29.386 – 00:43:29.816] You too?

[00:43:29.816 – 00:43:31.246] Yeah, me, me, me.

[00:43:31.246 – 00:43:32.616] It’s the identification.

[00:43:32.616 – 00:43:42.826] Because I’ll tell you, there comes a point in time and space where every alcoholic that comes to Alcoholics Anonymous, in that point in time and space where

[00:43:42.826 – 00:43:53.518] we meet with our kind, that we too have to say, “Yes, I am one, and that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable and I want to do something about it

[00:43:53.518 – 00:43:56.258] Now if it gets more complicated than that, I’m gonna have to go get me another beer.

[00:43:56.258 – 00:44:00.618] Well, let me tell you what happened to me when I drank that juice down in there.

[00:44:00.618 – 00:44:02.678] My hair laid back down.

[00:44:02.678 – 00:44:03.798] I quit perspiring.

[00:44:03.798 – 00:44:06.438] My toes went back in those alligator shoes.

[00:44:06.438 – 00:44:14.718] I ran up the steps, got a hold of the oldest sober member that got sober in that group, got to arguing about y’all’s fellowship, and he said something to me, and I hit him.

[00:44:14.718 – 00:44:20.358] And when I was drinking, I was bad to hit folks, taller than me, shorter than me, fatter than me, skinnier than me.

[00:44:20.358 – 00:44:23.558] And two of his babies joined in, and we started a fight.

[00:44:23.558 – 00:44:28.838] And I want to tell you right now, as far as I’m concerned, that fight was a lot better than that meeting.

[00:44:28.838 – 00:44:29.878] I don’t mind telling you.

[00:44:29.878 – 00:44:33.158] And I was just whooping the dickens out of them two little sober drunks.

[00:44:33.158 – 00:44:35.738] And then they did an unfair thing.

[00:44:35.738 – 00:44:42.258] They ran in two more sober drunks about the size of the outside linebackers on any professional football team.

[00:44:42.258 – 00:44:43.338] And finally…

[00:44:43.338 – 00:44:53.678] And I stood on that yard that Sunday evening, drunk, with my fists clenched, screaming to anybody that would listen to me that I would never come back to this Christ

[00:44:53.678 – 00:44:58.338] soul-saving organization as long as I lived, that I was not an alcoholic.

[00:44:58.338 – 00:45:00.038] I was too young to be an alcoholic.

[00:45:00.038 – 00:45:07.478] But the next 17 years, everything that could possibly happen to a human being happened to this human being.

[00:45:07.478 – 00:45:17.558] And the only three things never did happen to me getting ready to get on a drunk, on a drunk, coming off a drunk, right to this second, I never did willfully murder another human being, fall

[00:45:17.558 – 00:45:19.758] in love with another man, or die drunk.

[00:45:19.758 – 00:45:22.338] Other than that, it all happened.

[00:45:22.338 – 00:45:32.558] And I married this wonderful lady, you know, and when we got married, she didn’t realize she was marrying

[00:45:32.558 – 00:45:33.238] an alcoholic.

[00:45:33.238 – 00:45:36.518] And, and when we got married, we did not start to build a marriage.

[00:45:36.518 – 00:45:41.318] We started to build a booby trap, one that could go off on any month or any year, you know.

[00:45:41.318 – 00:45:44.098] And I was recalled back into the service and didn’t have to go.

[00:45:44.098 – 00:45:54.058] I was recalled back as a naval dental officer, and I went with a combat marine division and got into more trouble than there is absolute trouble, absolute trouble, you know.

[00:45:54.058 – 00:46:03.018] And, and, you know, and here it is, Christmas Day 1954, and I’m laying in a prison, and I didn’t know how I got there till after I got there, and it wasn’t a regular prison either.

[00:46:03.018 – 00:46:07.838] It was under a code name, and the word was that when you got there, nobody ever left there.

[00:46:07.838 – 00:46:11.218] You either died there or that was it.

[00:46:11.218 – 00:46:21.338] And, and later on, it was dy- it was investigated, and it was dynamited and bulldozed, and it was worse than any concentration camp ever devised

[00:46:21.338 – 00:46:26.978] by man, and it was worse than any PW camp that was ever devised by man.

[00:46:26.978 – 00:46:34.838] And here it was, Christmas Day 1954, and I’m laying there with a leg iron locked around my right leg, and it chained well to the leg iron.

[00:46:34.838 – 00:46:44.638] The other end is chained well to steel cot, and the four legs are still tied, immersed in concrete, and there were armed guards around me 24 hours a day daring me to move.

[00:46:44.638 – 00:46:51.578] And I’d been laying like that for seven and a half months and was to lay like that for one solid year.

[00:46:51.578 – 00:46:52.798] That’s four hours trial.

[00:46:52.798 – 00:47:02.798] And in that seven and a half months, because of my insolence and because of my uncooperativeness and because of just being ugly in my resentment,

[00:47:02.798 – 00:47:06.138] four and a half months of that seven and a half months, I was on straight bread and water.

[00:47:06.138 – 00:47:11.638] And here it was, Christmas Day, and at noon, in comes this orderly, comes in with your Christmas dinner.

[00:47:11.638 – 00:47:14.738] Now, I’ve been in lots of places where they don’t give you a knife and a fork.

[00:47:14.738 – 00:47:21.158] They give you a spoon, and they count your spoons before you go back to your little iron doggy house, if you can get out of your little iron doggy house.

[00:47:21.158 – 00:47:22.298] Oh, it’s no big deal.

[00:47:22.298 – 00:47:25.058] You learn how to eat soup with your, with your fingers, you know.

[00:47:25.058 – 00:47:26.338] It’s no big deal, you know.

[00:47:26.338 – 00:47:27.418] You don’t care.

[00:47:27.418 – 00:47:34.338] And here I am, and I’m full of hating and resentment because I know hundreds of people that have done far worse than me, and they’re running free.

[00:47:34.338 – 00:47:34.798] Why me?

[00:47:34.798 – 00:47:35.258] Boo-hoo.

[00:47:35.258 – 00:47:45.538] And in comes this orderly with the Christmas dinner, and he says, “Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.” And I’m so full of brotherly love and Christmas spirit for my fellow man,

[00:47:45.538 – 00:47:55.698] I say, “Ho, ho, ho, you know what?” And he said, “Well, here it is anyway.” And I was so full of gratitude when he handed me, I picked up the tray, and I hit him right in the face

[00:47:55.698 – 00:47:56.058] with it.

[00:47:56.058 – 00:48:02.018] And my Christmas gift on that Christmas Day was 45 more straight days on bread and water.

[00:48:02.018 – 00:48:05.658] Now, that’s what you call a bad day.

[00:48:05.658 – 00:48:14.058] I have not had a day that bad since I have been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:48:14.058 – 00:48:17.218] So don’t come up to me and tell me you’ve got a bad day.

[00:48:17.218 – 00:48:19.198] You know?

[00:48:19.198 – 00:48:19.818] Yeah.

[00:48:19.818 – 00:48:26.538] Oh, I got out of that by hook and crook, and some people that were involved that I got into the trap took their lives with them and everything.

[00:48:26.538 – 00:48:27.478] Yeah, it, it was a mess.

[00:48:27.478 – 00:48:33.708] And I talked my wife into taking me back, and I got out of the service, and, God, it was a, a total terror.

[00:48:33.708 – 00:48:40.898] And we, we decided we’re gonna move out to the panhandle of West Texas and raise our two little boys in a Christian environment.

[00:48:40.898 – 00:48:48.718] Well, I don’t know how many of y’all ever lived in a town in the panhandle of West Texas with 3,500 folks that lived in a Christian environment.

[00:48:48.718 – 00:48:50.758] That’s a town that votes dry and drinks wet.

[00:48:50.758 – 00:49:00.998] And I was drinking every day, and I got up to where I weighed 260 pounds, and my blood pressure was so high that every time my pulse would beat, my hair would stand straight up and pump like an oil well.

[00:49:00.998 – 00:49:04.788] And I had a fat doctor friend live up to s- uh, down in the next town.

[00:49:04.788 – 00:49:05.358] I went to see him.

[00:49:05.358 – 00:49:06.318] He took one look at me.

[00:49:06.318 – 00:49:13.397] He said, “Well,” he says, “you look sick.” And I said, “I am.” He said, “Let’s have a drink before we get to…” And, you know, that’s a good doctor to go to when you’re drinking.

[00:49:13.397 – 00:49:20.998] And finally, he took the glass and the bottle away, and he put the air on my arm and ran the cuffs up, and he says, “My God, David, it’s a miracle you’re alive.

[00:49:20.998 – 00:49:26.458] Your blood pressure’s so high.” He says, “And the reason it’s so high is because you’re so fat.

[00:49:26.458 – 00:49:36.478] And the reason because you’re so fat is because you’re a compulsive eater, and I’m gonna have to give you some help.” And he wrote me a prescription for 60 of the most beautiful

[00:49:36.478 – 00:49:39.558] capsules I’ve ever seen in my life called Memyodones.

[00:49:39.558 – 00:49:44.178] And he said, “Take them as directed.” So I went home, and I went and got the prescription filled.

[00:49:44.178 – 00:49:46.518] I went home to lose weight and stay drunk.

[00:49:46.518 – 00:49:48.618] Well, I looked at the prescription.

[00:49:48.618 – 00:49:52.678] It says, “Take one three times a day after meals.” Well, who eats when you drink?

[00:49:52.678 – 00:49:58.018] And any good self-respectful drinking drunk knows one’s good, two’s better, three’s terrific.

[00:49:58.018 – 00:50:00.638] So I just took three of them and drank some whiskey.

[00:50:00.638 – 00:50:02.398] Didn’t feel like I was losing any weight.

[00:50:02.398 – 00:50:08.928] Took three more of them, drank some more whiskey, ran into the bathroom, turned sideways in the mirror.

[00:50:08.928 – 00:50:10.908] Didn’t look like I was losing any weight.

[00:50:10.908 – 00:50:18.478] Come back out and sat down and took a handful of them, drank some more whiskey.

[00:50:18.478 – 00:50:22.008] Looked down there, looked like my stomach’s getting bigger.

[00:50:22.008 – 00:50:28.788] You know, our co-founder, Bill, wrote some very prophetic lines when he says, you know, “When a drunk is drinking, it’s time out of mind.

[00:50:28.788 – 00:50:37.688] Time passes so slow.” And I’ll say the only thing I’ve sad I’ve found about Alcoholics Anonymous is time passes so fast sober.

[00:50:37.688 – 00:50:39.608] Where does it go?

[00:50:39.608 – 00:50:49.728] And finally, I took all the pills and drank all the whiskey, and the next thing I knew, and to quote a good friend of mine out in California, “It fits it better than everything I ever know,” the next thing I knew,

[00:50:49.728 – 00:50:54.648] I was out in my backyard, and I was picking peaches off of rose bushes, I don’t mind telling you.

[00:50:54.648 – 00:51:01.808] And they tell me I ran around that little town of thirty five hundred for two days talking in an unknown tongue, you know?

[00:51:01.808 – 00:51:11.988] And being one of two Jewish families in five counties around, they gathered everybody in to see and hear the miracle because

[00:51:11.988 – 00:51:14.328] word had spread like wildfire.

[00:51:14.328 – 00:51:16.988] The Jew had caught the Holy Ghost.

[00:51:16.988 – 00:51:24.208] And when I come to and realized what happened, I says, “My God, those pills are messing up my drinking,” you know?

[00:51:24.208 – 00:51:30.868] Oh, I’d been to the psychiatrist and all the questions you asked me, my wife used to ask me for nothing, you know?

[00:51:30.868 – 00:51:32.488] Oh, we, we, we…

[00:51:32.488 – 00:51:35.608] I remember why I’m, I, I decide…

[00:51:35.608 – 00:51:36.628] I didn’t decide I was go…

[00:51:36.628 – 00:51:45.848] I was drunk anyway, but I was gonna leave the town to get drunk, and so the courtesy of a couple of hot checks and two big sacks of whiskey, I left town and, and I’m, I’m driving.

[00:51:45.848 – 00:51:48.708] I’m gonna drive two hundred and some odd miles to Dallas, Texas.

[00:51:48.708 – 00:51:54.508] And I’m driving and I’m drinking, you know, and I love country and Western music, oh my God.

[00:51:54.508 – 00:52:04.608] And in those days, my favorite radio station was Del Rio, Texas, where they sold Bibles and crosses and chains and rejuvenation powders and potions and

[00:52:04.608 – 00:52:06.428] lotions, post office box.

[00:52:06.428 – 00:52:09.928] And they used to play some of the finest tunes in the world.

[00:52:09.928 – 00:52:12.967] Don’t wink them bloodshot eyes at me.

[00:52:12.967 – 00:52:17.048] And here’s one that’s good for eleven months of drinking and fourteen months of crying.

[00:52:17.048 – 00:52:19.888] Only God made honky tonk angels, you know?

[00:52:19.888 – 00:52:24.688] And, and I’m drinking, and I’m driving, and I’m singing, you know.

[00:52:24.688 – 00:52:30.007] And the next thing you know, I’m sitting in a seat, and I got a belt around me and no socks and sh…

[00:52:30.007 – 00:52:40.007] them darn alligator shoes and nothing else, no money, nothing else in my pocket, and I’m looking around and people got fur caps on and fur coats, and they’re talking in a foreign language,

[00:52:40.008 – 00:52:40.908] French.

[00:52:40.908 – 00:52:49.828] And, you know, and I’m looking around and, and, and, you know, if there’s one thing a drinking drunk ain’t gonna do, he’s not gonna ask where he is when he doesn’t know where he is.

[00:52:49.828 – 00:52:52.998] And I’m hoping somebody will say something.

[00:52:52.998 – 00:52:55.168] Finally, this voice, I realize I’m on an airplane.

[00:52:55.168 – 00:53:05.448] And, and, and this voice says, “We’re getting ready to land in Calgary, Alberta,” and that’s up in Western Canada, and I was heading for Dallas,

[00:53:05.448 – 00:53:05.948] Texas.

[00:53:05.948 – 00:53:11.428] And to this day, I can’t tell you how I got on the plane, where I got on the plane or anything else.

[00:53:11.428 – 00:53:21.348] And I said, “I played it this time.” And I said, “Well, you know, when they empty the plane out, I’ll climb underneath the seat and I’ll leave when the plane leaves.” But no, they flush you out like quail from the back, you know.

[00:53:21.348 – 00:53:25.928] And this is back in the days before they had the jetway that comes right in the terminal.

[00:53:25.928 – 00:53:29.588] You go down the ladder and go down the stairs to Immigration and Customs.

[00:53:29.588 – 00:53:34.668] And I said, “I’ll be the last one, and then I’ll run out on the field.” But no, they locked the door.

[00:53:34.668 – 00:53:45.227] And everybody clears immigration, you know, and I’m the last one, and he says to me, “Come here.” Well, you know how a drinking drunk, we saunter, you know, just sort of walk up nonchalant,

[00:53:45.227 – 00:53:45.548] you know.

[00:53:45.548 – 00:53:55.608] And he said, “Let me have your papers.” And I said, “Mister, I don’t even have a ticket.” He said, “You don’t have a ticket?” I says, “No, sir.”

[00:53:55.608 – 00:54:05.668] He said, “How’d you get on the airplane?” I said, “I was gonna ask you that.” He says, “You mean no ticket and you’re on an airplane?” He said, “Where

[00:54:05.668 – 00:54:15.698] are you from?” I said, “The United States.” He said, “Where do you live in the United States?” I said, “Memphis, Texas.” He said, “Where were you born in the

[00:54:15.698 – 00:54:25.708] United States?” I said, “Dallas, Texas.” He said, “You don’t have any papers?” I says, “Nothing.” He says, “Well, what’s your full name?” I said, “David

[00:54:25.708 – 00:54:35.708] Henry Aronofsky.” He said, “Can you prove it?” I says, “Mister, you don’t make up a name like that.” You either have it or you

[00:54:35.708 – 00:54:36.468] don’t, you know?

[00:54:36.468 – 00:54:44.688] Oh, I know what’s coming next, the call to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the call to the Red Cross, and the call to daddy.

[00:54:44.688 – 00:54:49.858] I guess I’m the only member of Alcoholics Anonymous in this meeting that a call went out to daddy, you know?

[00:54:49.858 – 00:54:50.848] A call went out to daddy.

[00:54:50.848 – 00:54:52.908] We had to leave that town.

[00:54:52.908 – 00:54:55.448] We moved back, but I was taking me with me.

[00:54:55.448 – 00:55:00.748] Started all over again with a wonderful opportunity, but I couldn’t stay sober.

[00:55:00.748 – 00:55:04.268] And it wasn’t long before I was down on the last skid row.

[00:55:04.268 – 00:55:14.348] Grace, in the meanwhile, my wife, she went to work out of utter desperation for her own sanity and for money to exist and to raise those two fine little

[00:55:14.348 – 00:55:14.728] boys.

[00:55:14.728 – 00:55:25.188] She went to work in a place and for the people and in the area that I started drinking with as a youngster ten and a half years of age, a place she hated with every fiber of her being,

[00:55:25.188 – 00:55:26.428] and no one knew where I was.

[00:55:26.428 – 00:55:36.448] And yet all she had to do was look out the west window of her office, one and a half blocks due west, and she would see me fall out of a wine hotel because I was sleeping in them fifty, fifty cent

[00:55:36.448 – 00:55:38.768] a night hotel rooms with your shoes tied around your neck.

[00:55:38.768 – 00:55:40.948] And I’d slip out that ho…

[00:55:40.948 – 00:55:45.608] fall down them stairs, and I’d start crawling under them docks and them eighteen-wheelers looking for Grace.

[00:55:45.608 – 00:55:51.928] It’s the only, of a woman I’ve ever loved in my life, and she represented everything good in life.

[00:55:51.928 – 00:55:58.328] And she was a mother to those two little boys, and she was a father to those two little boys, and she was a Santa Claus to those two little boys.

[00:55:58.328 – 00:56:01.308] And she took them to the Little League, and she took them on vacations.

[00:56:01.308 – 00:56:02.228] I wanted to.

[00:56:02.228 – 00:56:03.648] I wanted to.

[00:56:03.648 – 00:56:12.408] I’d take them to the Little League game and say, “I gotta go use the telephone,” and show up three months later, and those kids were waiting for me, you know?

[00:56:12.408 – 00:56:17.948] No one in their right mind wants to live that way when we find out what’s wrong with us.

[00:56:17.948 – 00:56:21.648] It’s the first drink that gets you drunk.

[00:56:21.648 – 00:56:25.818] Not the second, not the third, not the fourth, not the fifth, not the sixth.

[00:56:25.818 – 00:56:26.228] The first.

[00:56:26.228 – 00:56:29.168] And I had many, many years to go.

[00:56:29.168 – 00:56:32.508] And I looked for her, and I, maybe she could give me a clue.

[00:56:32.508 – 00:56:38.428] I went home once the last nine months that I’d drank, hoping that Grace maybe

[00:56:38.561 – 00:56:38.941] Maybe.

[00:56:38.941 – 00:56:47.161] And she looked at me and she says, “Do you drink and have to do the things that you’re doing?” And I guess it’s the first time I ever told her the truth.

[00:56:47.161 – 00:56:52.661] I says, “Grace, I can’t stop drinking.” I says, “Why don’t you find another man that’ll marry you?

[00:56:52.661 – 00:56:58.781] You’re such a fine lady that’ll not only be a good husband to you, but a father to those two fine little boys.

[00:56:58.781 – 00:57:03.861] I cannot function as a father, I can’t function as a husband, I can’t work.

[00:57:03.861 – 00:57:05.881] Everything is gone.

[00:57:05.881 – 00:57:13.021] I’m gonna die drunk.” And with that, I grabbed my wine bottle and went, went out to try to k- kill myself.

[00:57:13.021 – 00:57:22.641] And somewhere along the line on April 18th and 19th of ’67, I found the handfi- hand, uh, handwriting on the, on the floor of the Dallas County Jail.

[00:57:22.641 – 00:57:30.001] I’ve been in lots of jails, and incidentally, being in jail is not a requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:57:30.001 – 00:57:39.581] But by this time, I’d run out of everything, and I got down to the point in my life to where I couldn’t stay sober and I couldn’t stay drunk, and I couldn’t kill myself, and I couldn’t stay alive.

[00:57:39.581 – 00:57:49.621] And I didn’t want me as me was, but me was going with me every place me went, and I screamed out, “My God, is there any help for me?” And something within me said, “Listen, you over-educated, pompous,

[00:57:49.621 – 00:57:59.701] egotistical, spoiled little drunk, until you stop drinking, nobody can help you, not even me,” which has meant to me then and means to me this second, that I was the one that had to stop drinking, that no one could

[00:57:59.701 – 00:58:00.781] do it to me or for me.

[00:58:00.781 – 00:58:10.781] And I know right this second that when I screamed out that there, “God, is there any help for me?” That there not only was a God for me then and help for me then, because I’m

[00:58:10.781 – 00:58:14.721] still here, and I have not had a drink of alcohol since then.

[00:58:14.721 – 00:58:24.721] And how I got by that old sheriff, I don’t know, because he had promised me, he says, “David, if you ever show

[00:58:24.721 – 00:58:30.261] up in my jail again for drinking or drunk,” this was the next to the last time I was in his jail when he released me.

[00:58:30.261 – 00:58:36.101] He says, “I’ll have you put away to where you’ll never bother another human being, bird, tree, dog, or rock.

[00:58:36.101 – 00:58:39.261] Do you understand?” How I got by him, I don’t know.

[00:58:39.261 – 00:58:48.581] And I said, “If I ever get out of here, I’m gonna call those people in Alcoholics Anonymous.” Well, when I got out, I found the gal, Edith, who asked me to come to that meeting.

[00:58:48.581 – 00:58:49.881] She had passed away.

[00:58:49.881 – 00:58:51.181] She was continuously sober.

[00:58:51.181 – 00:58:53.561] I heard that Moena had moved away.

[00:58:53.561 – 00:58:57.401] I see Moena every Wednesday morning when she’s healthy.

[00:58:57.401 – 00:58:59.421] She’s my manicurist today.

[00:58:59.421 – 00:59:06.081] And last May the 22nd, she celebrated her 35th continuous sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:59:06.081 – 00:59:11.021] There was a man at that meeting, he was sober eight years, and I heard he’d gotten drunk.

[00:59:11.021 – 00:59:13.261] He was sober eight years.

[00:59:13.261 – 00:59:19.901] He drank for eight years, and last May the 24th, he celebrated his 19th continuous sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:59:19.901 – 00:59:25.001] And when I called him, I didn’t know whether he was drinking or I didn’t know whether he was sober or what, but I called him.

[00:59:25.001 – 00:59:27.981] And he asked me who it was, and I told him.

[00:59:27.981 – 00:59:38.141] He says, “What do you want?” I says, “W, are you still interested in Alcoholics Anonymous?” He said, “Who is it for?” I said, “It’s for me.” He said, “Well, we have a meeting

[00:59:38.141 – 00:59:38.601] tomorrow night.

[00:59:38.601 – 00:59:42.941] Let’s just go and get it over with, and don’t you take a drink of alcohol today.” And that’s all he told me.

[00:59:42.941 – 00:59:48.061] And after almost 37 years of drinking and giving it the best shot I could, cold turkey.

[00:59:48.061 – 00:59:51.341] Well, it’s more like frozen buzzard, if you want to know the truth of it.

[00:59:51.341 – 01:00:00.340] I started walking and shaking out a drunk, and when I come to the next morning, I was sober, and I didn’t have a belly full of tranquilizers, nor did I have a prescription for 500 more.

[01:00:00.340 – 01:00:01.881] And for this, I am so thankful.

[01:00:01.881 – 01:00:11.961] And I called him at 7:30, and he says, “Are you drinking?” And I says, “No, sir.” He said, “Don’t you take a drink of alcohol today, and call me at 3:30.” This afternoon, I started that walking and that shaking and that jumping,

[01:00:11.961 – 01:00:13.721] and finally at 3:30, I called him again.

[01:00:13.721 – 01:00:23.781] He says, “Are you drinking?” And I says, “No, sir.” And he says, “Do you really want to come to an AA meeting?” Well, at this time, I was willing to crawl through six feet of snow naked just to see what kind

[01:00:23.781 – 01:00:28.241] of people you were that had this insatiable desire not to drink alcohol.

[01:00:28.241 – 01:00:38.241] And he said, “Do you want me to come get you?” And being about as humble as Hitler, I said, “I’ll get there under my own steam.” He said, “All right, I’ll tell you what you

[01:00:38.241 – 01:00:38.481] do.

[01:00:38.481 – 01:00:42.641] When you turn the corner, there’s a whiskey store on the left and there’s a beer joint on the right.

[01:00:42.641 – 01:00:48.641] Don’t you stop and buy and consume any alcohol, because when I get out there, I’m gonna search you and I’m gonna smell you.

[01:00:48.641 – 01:00:58.901] And David, if you’re drinking or drunk, I’m gonna throw you right through the front door.” He said, “David, you cannot come to Alcoholics Anonymous drinking or drunk.” Now, I know that in some instances

[01:00:58.901 – 01:01:00.481] that is not the way it’s done.

[01:01:00.481 – 01:01:10.921] But he was justified because you see, he was one of those that was involved in that little fracas at that AA meeting in 1950.

[01:01:10.921 – 01:01:14.141] And he hung up when he did.

[01:01:14.141 – 01:01:24.341] Well, I was in a terrible predicament because the last years that I drank, I got down to where all I had was a pair of thermal u- underwear, and I had an old pair of gray flannel pants with all my possessions

[01:01:24.341 – 01:01:25.020] in my pocket.

[01:01:25.020 – 01:01:31.401] And I had a old gray sweater with the elbows out of the elbows, and I had no socks, but I still hadn’t quite lost everything yet.

[01:01:31.401 – 01:01:33.521] I had a pair of beat-up old alligator shoes.

[01:01:33.521 – 01:01:41.241] And the only money I had that day when I called him was 30 cents, and that was all that was left from the last blood I’d sold to the blood bank to buy wine.

[01:01:41.241 – 01:01:44.521] And when you come to AA in that shape, you ain’t doing too well, you know?

[01:01:44.521 – 01:01:49.961] And I, well, I heard that Grace had thrown out all my clothes, but I took a chance.

[01:01:49.961 – 01:01:59.981] I called her up and I said, “Grace.” She said, “Who is this?” I said, “Me.” She said, “Who’s me?” I said, “David.” She said, “Oh.” Then she said, “What do you want?” I said, “Grace,

[01:01:59.981 – 01:02:10.141] do you happen to have one of my old suits?” And she says, “Yes, I have one, and it’s to bury you in.” As I look back now, I then ask her the most

[01:02:10.141 – 01:02:19.961] foolish question I’ve ever asked her in my life, and I said, “Do you mind if I borrow it for a little while?” That I’m going to an AA meeting, you know?

[01:02:19.961 – 01:02:23.561] She said, “It’s another one of your lies,” and hung up.

[01:02:23.561 – 01:02:26.461] Well, that suit’s a story in itself.

[01:02:26.461 – 01:02:30.521] And I got home, and I put it on, and the young’un was home.

[01:02:30.521 – 01:02:38.581] And I bid him goodbye, and I got into a Mustang that the bank was looking to repossess it, but they couldn’t recognize it looked like an accordion.

[01:02:38.581 – 01:02:40.721] And off I went to the meeting.

[01:02:40.721 – 01:02:50.917] And I walked in, and it looked like the same people that were there seventeen years prior were there, and one of them looked at me and grinned, and he said, “We knew you’d be back.”

[01:02:50.917 – 01:02:58.757] And now I’m gonna tell you about the greatest AA talk I’ve ever heard in my life.

[01:02:58.757 – 01:03:04.597] If you haven’t heard it, every member of Alcoholics Anonymous has heard it.

[01:03:04.597 – 01:03:12.217] If you haven’t heard it, your group has cheated you, and I believe we need to hear it again and again and again and again and again.

[01:03:12.217 – 01:03:16.657] There’s a man that stands at the door and meets all the newcomers.

[01:03:16.657 – 01:03:19.657] And I come through the door, and I grabbed his hand.

[01:03:19.657 – 01:03:23.377] His was dry, and mine was wet, and mine slipped away, and I had to grab it again.

[01:03:23.377 – 01:03:27.897] And, you know, we don’t have any speakers in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:03:27.897 – 01:03:31.777] We’re just a bunch of talkers because ours is the language of the heart.

[01:03:31.777 – 01:03:36.537] That is where the power of our society lies, the sharing of experiences.

[01:03:36.537 – 01:03:41.597] And I pray that we share our experiences and not our opinions.

[01:03:41.597 – 01:03:43.217] Opinions kill people.

[01:03:43.217 – 01:03:45.277] Promises kill drunks.

[01:03:45.277 – 01:03:54.957] But we’ve got the most valuable commodity that there is, the experience of what it used to be like, what happened, and we’re, through some miracle, alive.

[01:03:54.957 – 01:03:59.097] And that is what the name of the game in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:03:59.097 – 01:04:04.137] And I’ve been privileged to hear some very fine, the finest talkers in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:04:04.137 – 01:04:07.217] Our co-founder, Bill, was alive on quite a few occasions.

[01:04:07.217 – 01:04:10.617] But this is the greatest AA talk I’ve ever heard in my life.

[01:04:10.617 – 01:04:12.697] This man then said, “Welcome.

[01:04:12.697 – 01:04:15.997] Come in and sit down and have a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about it.

[01:04:15.997 – 01:04:26.177] We understand exactly how you feel.” He didn’t say to me, “You never should have done those things.” He didn’t say to me, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have done

[01:04:26.177 – 01:04:29.217] those things.” He just simply said, “Welcome.

[01:04:29.217 – 01:04:31.997] Come in and sit down and have a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about it.

[01:04:31.997 – 01:04:38.277] We understand exactly how you feel.” It was the first time in the last seventeen years of my drinking that anyone ever shook my hand.

[01:04:38.277 – 01:04:48.317] It was the first time in the last seventeen of my drinking that anyone had said to me, “Welcome.” It was the first time in the last seventeen years of my drinking that anyone said, “We understand exactly

[01:04:48.317 – 01:04:54.857] how you feel.” It was the first time in the last seventeen years that anyone invited me in to have a drink of anything with them, coffee or anything else.

[01:04:54.857 – 01:05:01.477] And it was the first time in the last seventeen years of my drinking that when the meeting started and they invited me to come sit with them.

[01:05:01.477 – 01:05:05.777] And I’m sitting with them, and my, my knees are jumping up and down, and I’m shaking, and I’m trembling.

[01:05:05.777 – 01:05:11.837] And the drunks on either side of me put their hands on my knees, and they put their arms around me and held my hand and said, “Easy does it.

[01:05:11.837 – 01:05:13.136] First things first.

[01:05:13.136 – 01:05:14.356] You’re home.

[01:05:14.356 – 01:05:15.497] You’re home.

[01:05:15.497 – 01:05:16.497] You’re home.

[01:05:16.497 – 01:05:23.937] You’re here.” And then when the meeting was over with, it was the first time in the last seventeen years that anyone asked me to stand and pray with them.

[01:05:23.937 – 01:05:25.497] And I didn’t know the Lord’s Prayer.

[01:05:25.497 – 01:05:31.497] And they didn’t call me heathen, and they didn’t call me atheist, and they didn’t call me outcast, and they didn’t say anything.

[01:05:31.497 – 01:05:40.317] And it’s the first time in the last seventeen years after, uh, of my drinking that when the meeting was over with, they put their arms around me and hugged me, and they said they loved me.

[01:05:40.317 – 01:05:46.897] And the first time in the last seventeen years of my drinking when I got ready to leave the meeting, they said, “Please come back.

[01:05:46.897 – 01:05:53.297] We need you, and you need us.” And they started a way of life.

[01:05:53.297 – 01:06:02.077] You know, we are normally people who would not mix, but there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding that’s indescribably wonderful.

[01:06:02.077 – 01:06:06.577] Now, for a few short moments, I’d like to share with you how it is today.

[01:06:06.577 – 01:06:08.757] Oh, we could’ve run the steps.

[01:06:08.757 – 01:06:10.137] We could run the traditions.

[01:06:10.137 – 01:06:12.177] We could’ve run the service manual.

[01:06:12.177 – 01:06:14.417] We could run the concepts manual.

[01:06:14.417 – 01:06:15.606] We could talk about a lot of things.

[01:06:15.606 – 01:06:18.737] How it is today.

[01:06:18.737 – 01:06:27.417] Little I realized that when I got to you people that my wife and our two sons, that we would ever be under one roof again.

[01:06:27.417 – 01:06:33.956] Because that marriage had been written off by everything and everybody, and it had no right to be.

[01:06:33.956 – 01:06:44.817] But only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, and only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Al-Anon in Grace’s life, that beautiful

[01:06:44.817 – 01:06:47.197] and wonderful lady.

[01:06:47.197 – 01:06:51.507] Last June the tenth, we celebrated our forty-first wedding anniversary together.

[01:06:51.507 – 01:06:56.577] And it come this June the tenth, if she behaves, I’ll let herself celebrate forty-two with me.

[01:06:56.577 – 01:07:06.717] Now, I’m not gonna stand up here

[01:07:06.717 – 01:07:16.757] and tell you because I’m in AA and she’s in Al-Anon that our marriage is just beautiful and perfect, that the bluebirds are flying around and the butterflies are

[01:07:16.757 – 01:07:18.757] hugging and cooing and winking.

[01:07:18.757 – 01:07:19.397] Heck no.

[01:07:19.397 – 01:07:22.237] We have a few short rounds every now and then.

[01:07:22.237 – 01:07:24.677] We have a few long rounds every now and again.

[01:07:24.677 – 01:07:26.607] That’s what you call communicating.

[01:07:26.607 – 01:07:36.617] And the best way I can describe that, our marriage today is built on solid, constructive imperfection because it’s by our imperfections that we grow.

[01:07:36.617 – 01:07:44.037] And anyway, she goes to four, five, six Al-Anon meetings a week, and I go to five, six, seven, eight meetings a week.

[01:07:44.037 – 01:07:47.657] We don’t see each other enough to have all that nitpicking, arguing, fighting, and fussing.

[01:07:47.657 – 01:07:53.777] But the thing that I am so thankful for is that she stayed.

[01:07:53.777 – 01:08:01.337] She’s here with me this evening, and I would like for you to meet my bride of over forty-one years.

[01:08:01.337 – 01:08:03.377] Grace, say hello.

[01:08:03.377 – 01:08:18.757] Don’t

[01:08:18.757 – 01:08:19.777] let that smile get you.

[01:08:19.777 – 01:08:21.517] She’s tougher than horse radish.

[01:08:21.517 – 01:08:28.217] Our two sons, they’re grown men today, and they’re tremendously successful.

[01:08:28.217 – 01:08:36.197] But the oldest one, when he was fifteen years of age, he had a butcher knife to my breastbone one Sunday morning, and he was gonna kill me for what I was doing to their mother.

[01:08:36.197 – 01:08:40.457] And if I could’ve gotten up off the floor, I’d have beat that boy to death.

[01:08:40.457 – 01:08:50.087] But he dropped the knife and w- wildness left his eyes, and he spat in my face, and he says, “You’re no longer my father, and I’m no longer your son,” and he walked out of my life.

[01:08:50.087 – 01:08:51.113] And that hurts.

[01:08:51.113 – 01:09:01.273] But only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, and only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon and, and the family

[01:09:01.273 – 01:09:03.933] living on what we call spiritual principle living.

[01:09:03.933 – 01:09:05.793] And what’s spiritual principle living?

[01:09:05.793 – 01:09:09.053] It’s just living the truth about ourselves as we are.

[01:09:09.053 – 01:09:18.393] I don’t know about anybody else’s family, but in our family, around every member of the family, the freedom to be ourselves as we are and the freedom to make our own mistakes.

[01:09:18.393 – 01:09:21.773] You see, if I hadn’t been free to make my mistakes, I never would’ve found you.

[01:09:21.773 – 01:09:24.873] And when I found you, what’s the first thing you told me?

[01:09:24.873 – 01:09:30.733] You says, “David, if you don’t take the first drink of alcohol, there’s no way in the world you can get drunk.” And what’s the first question I asked you?

[01:09:30.733 – 01:09:42.523] “But how do you live without alcohol?” And you said, “David, if you decide you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to do certain steps.” And

[01:09:42.523 – 01:09:52.533] in doing the steps, before I was halfway through the ninth step, I, too, suddenly realized that this God that you

[01:09:52.533 – 01:09:59.433] said that could and would in the third step was suddenly doing for me what I could not possibly do for myself.

[01:09:59.433 – 01:10:09.533] And I never would have had the wonderful experience if I hadn’t been free to make my mistakes and free to find people that make the same mistakes, but more

[01:10:09.533 – 01:10:10.173] important.

[01:10:10.173 – 01:10:20.313] Not the people who had made the same mistakes and were doing them over and over and over again, but people who weren’t doing them over and over again because they had a solution how to live and

[01:10:20.313 – 01:10:22.313] not do them over and over and over again.

[01:10:22.313 – 01:10:29.053] And today, I not only have a wonderful father and son relationship with the two sons, but more important, we’re the best of friends.

[01:10:29.053 – 01:10:38.813] When I got sober, I had to appear before the regulatory agency that licensed my profession to make a living, a profession that had been so good to me.

[01:10:38.813 – 01:10:46.153] And they were there to remove my license to practice that profession for the rest of my life, not to give me a suspension or retirement.

[01:10:46.153 – 01:10:50.653] And I had to go down there, and I had to tell them the truth and promise them not what I was gonna do, but what I did.

[01:10:50.653 – 01:10:54.113] And through some miracle, they allowed me to go back to work.

[01:10:54.113 – 01:11:04.213] Now, I’m asked all the time by people, they say, “My God, David, as much trouble as you’ve been, you’ve heard only the nicer things.” Because some

[01:11:04.213 – 01:11:05.613] of the things I did’s none of your business.

[01:11:05.613 – 01:11:08.173] And they say, “How’d you do it?

[01:11:08.173 – 01:11:13.233] How’d you ever graduate school and being locked up in this mess?” Well, I was my class valedictorian in high school.

[01:11:13.233 – 01:11:17.293] I finished second in a class of four hundred and fifty at Sou- Southern Methodist University.

[01:11:17.293 – 01:11:20.093] And I’m a graduate of Baylor University College of Dentistry.

[01:11:20.093 – 01:11:24.253] And they say, “How’d you do it?” It’s very simple.

[01:11:24.253 – 01:11:25.613] You cheat.

[01:11:25.613 – 01:11:33.713] It doesn’t take an, uh, an ocky long to find out who he’ll cover for him, who will do this, and who will do that, and who will do that.

[01:11:33.713 – 01:11:41.053] And so you see, only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a sober life today.

[01:11:41.053 – 01:11:51.053] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a God today, a God of my very own, a God that I found through the 12 steps in the big book

[01:11:51.053 – 01:11:52.613] and through you people and from nowhere else.

[01:11:52.613 – 01:11:58.593] And only because of God’s grace through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a family that loves and respects me.

[01:11:58.593 – 01:12:00.253] I have a roof over my head.

[01:12:00.253 – 01:12:05.253] I have hundreds of thousands of friends in Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Alateen, the world in which we all live.

[01:12:05.253 – 01:12:08.233] I have the best way to make a living I’ve ever had in my life.

[01:12:08.233 – 01:12:11.833] I have a few dollars in my pocket and a few dollars in the bank, very few.

[01:12:11.833 – 01:12:14.953] I have two cars with gasoline in them, I hope.

[01:12:14.953 – 01:12:21.213] I have some reasonably nice clothes today, and I’ve got meat in the refrigerator and groceries in the pantry.

[01:12:21.213 – 01:12:22.753] And I’ll tell you a little secret.

[01:12:22.753 – 01:12:26.713] If you want anything any more than that, you’re either oversexed or plumb nuts.

[01:12:26.713 – 01:12:34.853] And I’d like to leave you with a, with a thought, and I’d like for you to think about it.

[01:12:34.853 – 01:12:44.533] There’s a letter that’s framed in the, in our archives offices in our general service headquarters in New York City office.

[01:12:44.533 – 01:12:49.133] It was written to our co-founder, Bill, on the last day of nineteen hundred and forty-six.

[01:12:49.133 – 01:12:59.593] It was written by a man who gave of himself to Alcoholics Anonymous, a non-alcoholic, a man whose last name

[01:12:59.593 – 01:13:09.633] is perhaps the last name is the most famous and the most well-known in finance, oil, real estate, you name it,

[01:13:09.633 – 01:13:12.953] who gave so much to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:13:12.953 – 01:13:16.053] And he loved Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:13:16.053 – 01:13:26.353] In fact, the old Alcoholic Foundation Association, which now is the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, its office

[01:13:26.353 – 01:13:34.713] was on the f- room fifty-six hundred thirty Rockefeller Plaza, his offices.

[01:13:34.713 – 01:13:36.273] And that’s John D.

[01:13:36.273 – 01:13:36.693] Jr.

[01:13:36.693 – 01:13:42.613] And that fine man wrote to Bill, and he says, “Dear Bill,” and I’m gonna give you what I want to talk about.

[01:13:42.613 – 01:13:49.373] Actually, what he was, he was thanking him for a wartime printing of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous that they had to skinny it up because of lack of paper.

[01:13:49.373 – 01:13:52.273] But here comes the part that I’d like for you to think about.

[01:13:52.273 – 01:14:02.293] He said, “It must be of great satisfaction for you to, to know that the helping hand that you extended to a needy brother many

[01:14:02.293 – 01:14:07.353] years ago has resulted in the widespread extension of that brotherly act.

[01:14:07.353 – 01:14:17.713] The regenerating power of the spirit of that helping hand has been the means by which countless lives have been saved that otherwise

[01:14:17.713 – 01:14:19.113] would have been hopelessly wrecked.

[01:14:19.113 – 01:14:29.193] May God continue to bless you and use you ever increasingly as His chosen instrument in the rebuilding of broken lives.” Thank God he didn’t

[01:14:29.193 – 01:14:30.513] say saving souls.

[01:14:30.513 – 01:14:40.633] And so if there is a wish for each of us for this coming year, if there is a prayer for each of us this coming year, may we allow God

[01:14:40.633 – 01:14:46.413] to continue to bless us by staying sober and helping other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

[01:14:46.413 – 01:14:56.413] We’re all here as a result of that widespread extension of that helping hand that Bill gave to Bob and then to Bill Dotson and right on, and

[01:14:56.413 – 01:14:57.733] here we are right now.

[01:14:57.733 – 01:15:05.273] No other reason, no other fact, and no other experience.

[01:15:05.273 – 01:15:15.333] And if we allow God to continue to bless us by staying sober and helping other alcoholics, then He can

[01:15:15.333 – 01:15:21.413] use us as His chosen instrument in the rebuilding of broken lives.

[01:15:21.413 – 01:15:22.953] God bless each and every one of you.

[01:15:22.953 – 01:15:25.633] Happy New Year’s, and I love you so much, and thank you.

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