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[00:00:00.560 – 00:00:10.780] So I want you to help me welcome, uh, a friend, a mentor, a member in good standing of, of Alcoholics Anonymous,

[00:00:10.840 – 00:00:14.780] and a member of good standing of the Preston Group of Dallas, Texas, David A.

[00:00:14.780 – 00:00:24.300] Hi, everybody.

[00:00:24.300 – 00:00:26.080] My name’s David A., and I’m an alcoholic.

[00:00:26.080 – 00:00:27.510] Thank you, David.

[00:00:27.510 – 00:00:38.660] And only because of God’s grace and the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have not found it necessary to nor have I taken a drink of an alcoholic nature since April the 20th, 1967,

[00:00:38.660 – 00:00:40.160] and for this I am so thankful.

[00:00:40.160 – 00:00:50.260] Now, my role this afternoon will be to share AA’s experience in our 12 steps to recovery and this member of Alcoholics Anonymous’ experience

[00:00:50.260 – 00:00:52.360] in the recovery program.

[00:00:52.360 – 00:00:59.880] We need to remind ourselves at all time that no human being in Alcoholics Anonymous speaks for AA as a whole.

[00:00:59.880 – 00:01:02.420] No one has been so designated.

[00:01:02.420 – 00:01:03.780] No one has been so appointed.

[00:01:03.780 – 00:01:05.239] No one has been so elected.

[00:01:05.239 – 00:01:07.480] No one has been so chosen.

[00:01:07.480 – 00:01:13.320] All we have is to talk about what it used to be like, what happened, and what it’s like now.

[00:01:13.320 – 00:01:23.380] Also, in Alcoholics Anonymous, we’re asked to share our experiences, not our opinions, because we find as a result of our experiences

[00:01:23.380 – 00:01:32.280] in Alcoholics Anonymous that opinions, in many, many instances, have a tendency to make sick people sicker, and in some instances, to physically kill people.

[00:01:32.280 – 00:01:42.460] No one in Alcoholics Anonymous has the right to monkey with anybody’s emotions, anybody’s head, anybody’s sex

[00:01:42.460 – 00:01:46.100] life, or anything else, financial, legal, doesn’t make a bit of difference.

[00:01:46.100 – 00:01:53.240] And if we are willing to do that, then that puts the burden on those who come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:01:53.240 – 00:02:03.560] And we have to remember that when they read a portion of chapter five, when it says, “If you decide you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it,”

[00:02:03.560 – 00:02:13.560] and you’re ready to take certain steps, not necessarily what we have, us members right here in this meeting, but if you decide you want what the drunks put in the book

[00:02:13.560 – 00:02:19.160] of Alcoholics Anonymous, period, then you’re ready to take certain steps.

[00:02:19.160 – 00:02:29.440] Now, we come to find out that the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for us in AA, not for any other recovery program for an alcoholic, but

[00:02:29.440 – 00:02:35.980] for us in AA are the logical process by which an alcoholic finds a way to live sober.

[00:02:35.980 – 00:02:39.959] Alcoholics Anonymous does not get anybody sober.

[00:02:39.959 – 00:02:43.460] A problem drinker gets sober by stopping drinking.

[00:02:43.460 – 00:02:46.180] Stopping drinking never was my problem.

[00:02:46.180 – 00:02:47.780] Starting again.

[00:02:47.780 – 00:02:51.100] We used to hear it all the time, put the plug in the jug.

[00:02:51.100 – 00:02:55.000] I put the plug in the jug hundreds of times before I come to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:02:55.000 – 00:02:57.380] Pulling it out was my problem.

[00:02:57.380 – 00:02:59.060] Kind of like sex.

[00:02:59.060 – 00:03:01.200] When you’re doing it, you’re not having too much trouble.

[00:03:01.200 – 00:03:03.700] It’s when you’re not doing it is when the trouble starts.

[00:03:03.700 – 00:03:12.680] So it’s been the principle of AA that any alcoholic who follows our program without deviation has been able to remain sober.

[00:03:12.680 – 00:03:23.320] Those of us who’ve cut corners, skipped over steps, eventually find themselves in trouble, and this has been the principle rather than exception.

[00:03:23.320 – 00:03:33.520] Now, upon being asked which is the most important of the 12 steps, one of our early members once replied, “Which is the most important spoke of a wheel?” If a wheel has 12 spokes

[00:03:33.520 – 00:03:43.420] and one of the spokes is removed, the wheel will probably still continue to support the vehicle, but it will have lost strength.

[00:03:43.420 – 00:03:49.220] Removal of another spoke weakens it more, and eventually the wheel will collapse.

[00:03:49.220 – 00:03:59.360] And so we find in AA the removal of any of the steps, refusal to take them in sequence, will usually result in a collapse unless

[00:03:59.360 – 00:04:01.580] we come to see the nature of that problem.

[00:04:01.580 – 00:04:11.880] I’m one of these that believes that when you’re new in Alcoholics Anonymous or been around for a while or a little while longer, a little while, but particularly new, that

[00:04:11.880 – 00:04:15.700] the new ones be introduced to the 12 steps as soon as possible.

[00:04:15.700 – 00:04:23.860] Now, this fellowshipping and this hugging and this kissing and this rubbing up against and scratching and laughing is good stuff.

[00:04:23.860 – 00:04:27.560] It started more groups in AA than you can shake a stick at.

[00:04:27.560 – 00:04:37.240] But it will not stand up when conditions and things in our individual lives feel it’s too big a mountain for us to climb.

[00:04:37.240 – 00:04:47.160] If one feels that the steps are a bit complicated at first, they can be introduced to oneself in a simplified form, and I do not believe it takes away from any of the meaning of the steps.

[00:04:47.160 – 00:04:57.480] Now, when this member of Alcoholics Anonymous asked to share the 12 steps to recovery, the introduction to each of the steps, I used what started with Alcoholics Anonymous

[00:04:57.480 – 00:05:03.180] in 1935, Group One in Akron.

[00:05:03.180 – 00:05:05.440] It’s still being used in Group One.

[00:05:05.440 – 00:05:12.960] And all of it has been later incorporated as they began to write the book of Alcoholics Anonymous within the book.

[00:05:12.960 – 00:05:17.360] And so we admitted we were powerless over alcohol.

[00:05:17.360 – 00:05:20.880] But more important, we wanted to do something about it.

[00:05:20.880 – 00:05:30.940] When I come to you people, I admitted that I was powerless over alcohol, but I didn’t need to do anything about it if my wife would straighten up, them two rotten kids would straighten up,

[00:05:30.940 – 00:05:36.540] my girlfriends would straighten up, the police would straighten up, the bankers would straighten up, and society would straighten up.

[00:05:36.540 – 00:05:39.500] Or in other words, when we get here, what is the admission?

[00:05:39.500 – 00:05:42.540] That we’re whipped in the business of living sober.

[00:05:42.540 – 00:05:47.020] This is what it’s all about in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:05:47.020 – 00:05:51.820] And then we have a desire to stop drinking alcohol, not quit.

[00:05:51.820 – 00:05:56.040] Then we ask to receive help from a power greater than ourselves.

[00:05:56.040 – 00:06:01.060] And here comes the ingredient that has made Alcoholics Anonymous the most precious, finest…

[00:06:01.060 – 00:06:12.196] recovery program and fellowship for an alcoholic that the world has seen, is seeing, and probably ever will see, and that is human beings who are alcoholic, who

[00:06:12.196 – 00:06:14.336] are sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:06:14.336 – 00:06:19.396] Now, someone can be sent to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:06:19.396 – 00:06:20.956] I don’t care how you get here.

[00:06:20.956 – 00:06:23.936] It’s what we do after we get here.

[00:06:23.936 – 00:06:29.816] They come in, they’ll find maybe they’ve been told where to go to a group.

[00:06:29.816 – 00:06:32.296] They come in, no one’s there.

[00:06:32.296 – 00:06:42.316] They start looking around and they see all those signs on the, the walls and, “My God, I must be in a kindergarten.” Then they see the 12

[00:06:42.316 – 00:06:48.836] Steps on the wall, and what’s the first word that every one of us see when we get here?

[00:06:48.836 – 00:06:50.416] The word God.

[00:06:50.416 – 00:06:58.376] They say, “Uh-oh, this must be some sort of a kooky religion.” And then he pussyfoots around and he finds a blue covered book.

[00:06:58.376 – 00:07:00.196] He opens up the book.

[00:07:00.196 – 00:07:02.876] What’s the first word he sees in the w- book?

[00:07:02.876 – 00:07:03.416] God.

[00:07:03.416 – 00:07:09.876] “Well, this must be their Bible.” And while this is going on, the door opens and another human being comes in.

[00:07:09.876 – 00:07:20.176] The brand-new one turns around, he walks over and he asks the one just came in, he said, “Who are you?” And he says, “I am an alcoholic, and I’m a member of this group.”

[00:07:20.176 – 00:07:31.136] The new one walks around him, looks him over, smells him like a new dog in the neighborhood, and says, “If you’re an alcoholic, how come you’re not drinking alcohol?”

[00:07:31.196 – 00:07:41.416] The member says, “I am a sober alcoholic.” The new one says, “How many kinds of alcoholics are there?” If the member has any experience whatsoever, the member says,

[00:07:41.416 – 00:07:51.776] “Three.” The new one says, “Three?” The member says, “Yes, there’s a drinking alcoholic, and there’s a sober alcoholic, and there’s a dead alcoholic.”

[00:07:51.776 – 00:07:55.396] We are the ones that put conditions on our own selves.

[00:07:55.396 – 00:07:58.136] You know, an alcoholic can’t just be an alcoholic.

[00:07:58.136 – 00:08:04.136] He gotta be an alcoholic and a diesel mechanic, an alcoholic and a glue sniffer, an alcoholic and this and that.

[00:08:04.136 – 00:08:05.576] An alcoholic.

[00:08:05.576 – 00:08:06.696] Our common welfare.

[00:08:06.696 – 00:08:08.056] We’re a society of equals.

[00:08:08.056 – 00:08:18.096] And then the new one says, “Well, what’s those steps and that word God, and what’s this book?” Now, if the member has any experience working with drunks, says,

[00:08:18.096 – 00:08:19.736] “Come here, we got a coffee pot over here.

[00:08:19.736 – 00:08:23.556] Let’s make some coffee.” They make some coffee, and he sits down.

[00:08:23.556 – 00:08:33.596] The new one says, “I asked you about…” The member says, “Let me tell you my story.” The member is not well into the story and the new

[00:08:33.596 – 00:08:34.616] one says, “Wait a minute.

[00:08:34.616 – 00:08:36.136] Wait a minute.

[00:08:36.136 – 00:08:42.976] Are you sure my family didn’t send you here, my employer didn’t send you here, my counselor didn’t send you here?

[00:08:42.976 – 00:08:46.356] The correctional people didn’t send you here?

[00:08:46.356 – 00:08:50.146] Why?” The member asks.

[00:08:50.146 – 00:09:00.196] The new one says, “Because it sounds exactly like my story.” Now, if we’ll listen to the stories and quit worrying about the differences, all of our stories

[00:09:00.196 – 00:09:01.576] say the same thing.

[00:09:01.576 – 00:09:06.096] We couldn’t stay sober, we couldn’t stay drunk, we couldn’t kill ourselves, and couldn’t live.

[00:09:06.096 – 00:09:08.016] In other words, we couldn’t live sober.

[00:09:08.016 – 00:09:12.456] That’s the s- uniqueness of Alcoholics Anonymous as a recovery program.

[00:09:12.456 – 00:09:17.476] And so it is the human being that is the attraction.

[00:09:17.476 – 00:09:20.696] Now, in all cases, this power is called God.

[00:09:20.696 – 00:09:22.756] Now, Alcoholics Anonymous doesn’t duck it.

[00:09:22.756 – 00:09:27.926] It’s not your God, my God, that God, what God, he sh- He God, She God.

[00:09:27.926 – 00:09:32.496] It’s God as each of us have the freedom to understand God.

[00:09:32.496 – 00:09:35.916] That was the tenth strike in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:09:35.916 – 00:09:37.586] That’s what made Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:09:37.586 – 00:09:40.496] Because in AA, we have atheists that are sober.

[00:09:40.496 – 00:09:41.876] That’s God as they understand Him.

[00:09:41.876 – 00:09:44.076] We have agnostics that are sober.

[00:09:44.076 – 00:09:45.456] That’s God as they understand Him.

[00:09:45.456 – 00:09:48.596] We have true believers that are sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:09:48.596 – 00:09:49.856] That’s God as they understand Him.

[00:09:49.856 – 00:09:53.656] And if you don’t understand God, that’s how you understand Him.

[00:09:53.656 – 00:09:55.736] Now, wiggle out of that one.

[00:09:55.736 – 00:10:06.036] But for the purpose of simplification, the word I’ll use in the next couple hours,

[00:10:06.036 – 00:10:11.376] meaning whatever power greater than oneself that one chooses to accept.

[00:10:11.376 – 00:10:21.516] In the case of the agnostic or the atheist or any unbeliever, it’s only necessary that he or she remove, uh, believe in some power in the universe

[00:10:21.516 – 00:10:22.856] greater than he or she is.

[00:10:22.856 – 00:10:24.376] You can call it God.

[00:10:24.376 – 00:10:25.316] You can call it Allah.

[00:10:25.316 – 00:10:26.296] You can call it Jehovah.

[00:10:26.296 – 00:10:27.176] You can call it the Sun.

[00:10:27.176 – 00:10:28.576] You can call it Confucius.

[00:10:28.576 – 00:10:35.316] You can call it a cosmic force or whatever one chooses to accept as long it’s a comfortable, honest conception.

[00:10:35.316 – 00:10:46.076] Because certainly we admit we live in a world where night follows day, where spring follows winter, and where crops ripen at the certain

[00:10:46.136 – 00:10:47.076] times of the year.

[00:10:47.076 – 00:10:53.816] And when the heavenly planets, the, the heavenly bodies and planets maintain an orderly course.

[00:10:53.816 – 00:10:56.916] If they didn’t, gravity would sling us off of this Earth.

[00:10:56.916 – 00:11:03.096] I don’t know about you, I have never read about nor ever met any descendants of a human being that invented Earth.

[00:11:03.096 – 00:11:07.156] Earth was here when man got dropped on it.

[00:11:07.156 – 00:11:18.076] And all the elements that we enjoy right this tick of time, food, energy, water, clothing,

[00:11:18.076 – 00:11:27.076] synthetics, lumber, everything in this martyr, bricks, concrete, everything, everything was here.

[00:11:27.076 – 00:11:30.016] The elements to produce them were here when man got here.

[00:11:30.016 – 00:11:35.016] All man has done is create, is harness man’s creative intelligence.

[00:11:35.016 – 00:11:40.536] And I love what Alva Edison said when he was congratulated as being the world’s greatest inventor.

[00:11:40.536 – 00:11:43.596] He says, “No, I’m not the world’s greatest inventor.

[00:11:43.596 – 00:11:45.376] I never invented anything.

[00:11:45.376 – 00:11:52.656] All I did was take other people’s mistakes and make them work.” And this is what Alcoholics Anonymous has done.

[00:11:52.656 – 00:12:02.736] It’s taken all the mistakes that previous programs for an alcoholic failed because of

[00:12:02.736 – 00:12:06.436] property, prestige, glory, ego.

[00:12:06.436 – 00:12:09.220] But no maintenance program.

[00:12:09.220 – 00:12:15.600] The dependency was still on man’s outside and inside of man himself, human willpower.

[00:12:15.600 – 00:12:19.500] And this is the reason that AA is so successful.

[00:12:19.500 – 00:12:30.740] So when we look at the heavenly bodies and they don’t sling us off the Earth because of lack of gravity, so it’s only logical that there is some power greater behind

[00:12:30.740 – 00:12:31.780] all this orderliness.

[00:12:31.780 – 00:12:35.780] And such an admission basically is all that any of us need.

[00:12:35.780 – 00:12:45.080] Then we cleaned up our, our lives, paid our debts, righted our wrongs, and we carried this new way of life to those who were desperately in need of it.

[00:12:45.080 – 00:12:52.420] And so the 12 steps follow a logical sequence, one that has been used by successful sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:12:52.420 – 00:12:59.880] Now, in the early days in AA, a drunk would come in, he’d get sober, he was considered to be sober when he died.

[00:12:59.880 – 00:13:08.360] Some came in, got sober, went out and got drunk again, came back in and got sober again, and were considered sober when they died.

[00:13:08.360 – 00:13:13.860] Some came in, got sober, went out and got drunk, never made it back, and died drunk.

[00:13:13.860 – 00:13:16.920] AA is still the same today.

[00:13:16.920 – 00:13:19.580] Still the same.

[00:13:19.580 – 00:13:23.480] That’s how little we know about stopping drinking alcohol.

[00:13:23.480 – 00:13:24.340] Yeah.

[00:13:24.340 – 00:13:27.480] And so they follow a logical sequence.

[00:13:27.480 – 00:13:30.120] These steps were carefully thought out.

[00:13:30.120 – 00:13:39.160] They were argued over, they fought o- over, and they’re just as true and necessary to successful recovery from our illness today as they, when they were written.

[00:13:39.160 – 00:13:44.380] In step one, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

[00:13:44.380 – 00:13:50.060] Now, without the first step, there is no chance to recover.

[00:13:50.060 – 00:13:50.980] Why?

[00:13:50.980 – 00:14:01.840] It’s been demonstrated over and over and over and over again that our become, become sober and stay sober only

[00:14:01.840 – 00:14:07.760] when he or she is doing him, doing it for himself or for herself alone.

[00:14:07.760 – 00:14:14.060] Now, we may become sober temporarily for the sake of another human being.

[00:14:14.060 – 00:14:15.960] Fear of some sort.

[00:14:15.960 – 00:14:19.740] Afraid they’re going to lose their job, afraid they’re going to lose their family.

[00:14:19.740 – 00:14:21.800] Some afraid they’re not going to lose them.

[00:14:21.800 – 00:14:31.720] But unless we are sincerely and genuinely determined to sober up for ourselves and for ourselves only, then our days of sobriety become numbered.

[00:14:31.720 – 00:14:36.820] This is the most difficult step to take in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:14:36.820 – 00:14:46.600] There is not another step as difficult to take because this step requires a heck of a lot of preparation in order to take it.

[00:14:46.600 – 00:14:49.980] The first thing is you got to drink alcohol.

[00:14:49.980 – 00:15:00.040] Drink alcohol to the point to where it totally dominates the obsession to drink and to fight

[00:15:00.040 – 00:15:01.920] it right down to the wire sometime.

[00:15:01.920 – 00:15:11.940] You have to listen to ugly things that are said about us, that we’re unreliable, we can’t be trusted,

[00:15:11.940 – 00:15:16.160] we cannot be depended upon, we get drunk at the wrong time.

[00:15:16.160 – 00:15:19.300] You smell bad.

[00:15:19.300 – 00:15:22.420] Why were you ever born into this family?

[00:15:22.420 – 00:15:25.520] Why weren’t you born in a family across the alley?

[00:15:25.520 – 00:15:28.380] And we don’t live in a vacuum.

[00:15:28.380 – 00:15:34.620] We hear these things, and sometimes we begin to believe it because a prospect must make it alone.

[00:15:34.620 – 00:15:45.000] Now, someone can bring to us the nature of our problem, but unless we accept it and are willing to do it for ourselves and for ourselves

[00:15:45.000 – 00:15:55.960] only, not for family, not for the world, not for anything or anybody else, but only to please a power greater than ourselves, because

[00:15:55.960 – 00:15:57.600] it’s not easy to admit defeat.

[00:15:57.600 – 00:16:07.600] For years, we said, “I can stop drinking anytime I want to.” And then some nosy individual would stick his nose in my business and say, “Yeah, but when do

[00:16:07.600 – 00:16:17.890] you want to?” For years, we believed that sobriety was just around the corner, and tragically enough, we never rounded the corner and

[00:16:17.890 – 00:16:21.940] suddenly discovered, much to our disgust, that we could not stop.

[00:16:21.940 – 00:16:33.080] I don’t know how many of y’all watch professional football, but last Sunday when the Dallas Cowboys played the New York Giants, and

[00:16:33.080 – 00:16:43.160] there were millions of fans all over the world watching on satellite television and in the stadiums and in homes who absolutely believed that the Cowboys

[00:16:43.160 – 00:16:53.180] were going to score enough points in the last second and a half, last one and a half seconds of that game and beat the Giants, and the Cowboys didn’t even have the

[00:16:53.180 – 00:16:53.580] ball.

[00:16:53.580 – 00:17:02.900] I don’t know, I don’t know if you know what it is when they find you, they capture you, and they bring you home.

[00:17:02.900 – 00:17:12.920] They take all your clothes off and your money, and they throw you in a bedroom, and the windows are barred, and they lock the door, and there’s not but one

[00:17:12.920 – 00:17:15.400] doorknob, and it wasn’t on my side of the bedroom.

[00:17:15.400 – 00:17:25.590] And then they have a convention of all the in-laws, the out-laws, all the religious leaders, everybody else in the neighborhood, nosy

[00:17:25.590 – 00:17:28.240] ones, everything else, and they hold a convention.

[00:17:28.240 – 00:17:31.700] The theme of the convention was what to do with one David.

[00:17:31.700 – 00:17:37.060] And as the voices got louder, they’re moving to the hall to that bedroom.

[00:17:37.060 – 00:17:41.580] And I never will forget one of Grace’s brothers.

[00:17:41.580 – 00:17:45.820] He said, “Why do you stay with him?

[00:17:45.820 – 00:17:55.940] Why do you live with…” She said, “But you don’t know him when he’s sober.” And he said, “Well, when is he sober?” Then he said, “If I was married to him, I’d poison him.” My

[00:17:55.940 – 00:17:59.720] wife couldn’t understand later on why I wouldn’t come home and eat her food.

[00:17:59.720 – 00:18:05.180] And I’m laying there, and then, then ugly things.

[00:18:05.180 – 00:18:08.580] It’s just like sticking a hot knife in a wound full of salt.

[00:18:08.580 – 00:18:16.212] And I say to myself, “If they think I’m drunk now…” By God, I’ll get out of here, money or no money, clothes or no clothes.

[00:18:16.212 – 00:18:18.111] I’ll show them what drunk really is.

[00:18:18.111 – 00:18:24.872] But I had to get sober to realize that they were doing the best they knew how, what to do with me.

[00:18:24.872 – 00:18:25.952] They didn’t know any different.

[00:18:25.952 – 00:18:35.992] So when we come to Alcoholics Anonymous, we finally come to the fork in the road where we either admitted that we had a problem or continued to

[00:18:35.992 – 00:18:39.052] sink deeper and deeper into the mire of active alcoholism.

[00:18:39.052 – 00:18:40.692] And here comes old AA.

[00:18:40.692 – 00:18:44.152] I mean the best kind of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:18:44.152 – 00:18:52.552] We used to hear it all the time at every speaker meeting and every They’d get up behind the podium and they’d pound on it.

[00:18:52.552 – 00:18:57.112] If you continue to drink, you’re going to go crazy.

[00:18:57.112 – 00:19:05.392] They’re going to lock you up in a maximum security nut ward or they’re going to lock you up in a penitentiary or you’ll be murdered or electrocuted.

[00:19:05.392 – 00:19:06.312] Yeah.

[00:19:06.312 – 00:19:16.612] And we used to hear a lot of things like that until the admission is made to ourselves for ourselves only that our alcoholic problem has gone out of control,

[00:19:16.612 – 00:19:17.872] not our drinking problem.

[00:19:17.872 – 00:19:20.032] You know when you have a drinking problem?

[00:19:20.032 – 00:19:23.752] When you run out of alcohol when you’re drinking, that’s when you’ve got a drinking problem.

[00:19:23.752 – 00:19:28.732] But our alcoholic problem has gone out of control.

[00:19:28.732 – 00:19:29.312] Yeah.

[00:19:29.312 – 00:19:33.952] Until then, we’ll have no inspiration to want to stop drinking.

[00:19:33.952 – 00:19:38.732] But once that admission has been made, then the way is cleared.

[00:19:38.732 – 00:19:46.472] And it is at this point that the experienced sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous can step in and lend a helping hand.

[00:19:46.472 – 00:19:50.032] And then the remaining steps are automatically made easier.

[00:19:50.032 – 00:19:54.892] If they were made harder, none of us would stay at Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:19:54.892 – 00:19:57.052] Now, it’s utterly amazing.

[00:19:57.052 – 00:20:01.212] Alcoholics Anonymous has no definition of alcoholism.

[00:20:01.212 – 00:20:06.652] We have descriptions of an alcoholic.

[00:20:06.652 – 00:20:10.052] With the exception of Dr.

[00:20:10.052 – 00:20:12.512] Selfworth’s description as a doctor opinion.

[00:20:12.512 – 00:20:14.832] Here they come.

[00:20:14.832 – 00:20:18.472] We’re men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking.

[00:20:18.472 – 00:20:23.392] It doesn’t say you’re an alcoholic if you’ve gotten DWIs.

[00:20:23.392 – 00:20:26.872] It doesn’t say you’re an alcoholic if you’ve written hot checks to stay drunk.

[00:20:26.872 – 00:20:31.652] It doesn’t say you’re an alcoholic if you’ve lost your family, gotten somebody else’s family.

[00:20:31.652 – 00:20:39.202] It doesn’t say you’re an alcoholic because you lost your job.

[00:20:39.202 – 00:20:39.592] Uh-uh.

[00:20:39.592 – 00:20:44.792] We’re men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking.

[00:20:44.792 – 00:20:54.591] The great obsession of every abnormal drinker is to somehow, someday, be able to control and enjoy his drinking.

[00:20:54.591 – 00:20:58.752] A normal drinker does not have to control his drinking.

[00:20:58.752 – 00:21:01.332] The abnormal drinker.

[00:21:01.332 – 00:21:02.932] Then the next one.

[00:21:02.932 – 00:21:09.492] That if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely or if when drinking you have little control over the mouth that you take.

[00:21:09.492 – 00:21:16.692] Once again, it doesn’t say anything about checks, DWIs, jail time, nut time, anything else.

[00:21:16.692 – 00:21:19.552] And then the next one, the first step.

[00:21:19.552 – 00:21:21.431] We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.

[00:21:21.431 – 00:21:24.312] Physical.

[00:21:24.312 – 00:21:27.112] That our lives have become unmanageable.

[00:21:27.112 – 00:21:27.832] Mental.

[00:21:27.832 – 00:21:31.052] And so AA came up with the illness.

[00:21:31.052 – 00:21:38.452] Now, AA, the disease concept came outside of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:21:38.452 – 00:21:44.102] Alcoholics Anonymous calls us a malady or an illness.

[00:21:44.102 – 00:21:48.072] A twofold illness of mind and body.

[00:21:48.072 – 00:21:56.372] A mental obsession so powerful that condemns us to drink against our own will no matter how many promises we make.

[00:21:56.372 – 00:21:56.972] We mean it.

[00:21:56.972 – 00:22:05.292] But we don’t know that we are suffering from something that’s condemning us to drink and the physical nature of the illness condemns us to die if we continue to drink.

[00:22:05.292 – 00:22:09.912] And so the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous came up with a solution.

[00:22:09.912 – 00:22:13.472] A power greater than ourselves.

[00:22:13.472 – 00:22:23.872] Now, I like to talk about it because anytime this member of Alcoholics Anonymous is asked to share AA’s experience

[00:22:23.872 – 00:22:29.072] and this member’s experience in the recovery program, this member spends quite a bit of time on step one.

[00:22:29.072 – 00:22:31.531] Very simply.

[00:22:31.531 – 00:22:35.592] Because here is where we find out what’s wrong with us.

[00:22:36.961 – 00:22:42.581] And until we’re willing to find out what’s wrong with us, we’ll never be able to find out what can get right with us.

[00:22:42.581 – 00:22:47.221] I’d like to talk about some of the, our kind.

[00:22:47.221 – 00:22:51.161] The inability to stop drinking after taking one drink.

[00:22:51.161 – 00:22:54.381] The necessity for a drink in the morning.

[00:22:54.381 – 00:22:58.061] Now, I never did start drinking in the morning.

[00:22:58.061 – 00:23:00.761] I was already up drinking when morning came around.

[00:23:00.761 – 00:23:03.960] Getting drunk at the wrong time.

[00:23:03.960 – 00:23:08.221] That is, when the occasion calls for one to be sober.

[00:23:08.221 – 00:23:10.021] I’ll share an experience.

[00:23:10.021 – 00:23:19.121] We were living in this little town in the panhandle of West Texas, and the richest and the most influential man in the town dies.

[00:23:19.121 – 00:23:29.301] And that man loved me dearly because he had an active alcoholic daughter that was an incorrigible drinking drunk, and they put her bare footed

[00:23:29.301 – 00:23:36.941] with no teeth on a, w- a bus with a one-way ticket from Memphis, Texas, to Vancouver, Canada.

[00:23:36.941 – 00:23:40.561] And he saw a lot of her and me, and he died.

[00:23:40.561 – 00:23:45.281] And the family asked me to be a pallbearer, and that’s an honor to be a pallbearer.

[00:23:45.281 – 00:23:54.961] Well, it’s one of them cold, rainy days in the panhandle of West Texas, not quite cold enough to sleep, and I’m home getting all juiced up to be a pallbearer.

[00:23:54.961 – 00:23:57.061] Put on my right boot, take a drink of whiskey.

[00:23:57.061 – 00:23:58.901] Put on my left boot, take a drink.

[00:23:58.901 – 00:24:01.901] Every button on my shirt, I’d button, I’d take a drink.

[00:24:01.901 – 00:24:04.821] Put my pants on, my tie on, take a drink.

[00:24:04.821 – 00:24:11.861] Finally, I’d finished what was left of that half fifth underneath the front seat of that old station wagon, go to church house.

[00:24:11.861 – 00:24:17.301] Now, I don’t know how many of y’all lived in a small country town with those old-fashioned churches.

[00:24:17.301 – 00:24:18.701] They didn’t dig a cellar.

[00:24:18.701 – 00:24:20.081] The ground floor was a cellar.

[00:24:20.081 – 00:24:21.571] They just …

[00:24:21.571 – 00:24:22.281] Our basement, rather.

[00:24:22.281 – 00:24:24.021] They just built a church right over it.

[00:24:24.021 – 00:24:31.121] And you climb up those steps like climbing up Pikes Peak, and you open up them big oak doors, and they got them curved pews.

[00:24:31.121 – 00:24:37.341] And to get down on that front row, which is called hopeless row, is like skiing down Pikes Peak.

[00:24:37.341 – 00:24:40.261] And I’m in there, and all I’m thinking about is a drink.

[00:24:40.261 – 00:24:46.981] And the host minister starts the services, and I knew who all the eulogizers were.

[00:24:46.981 – 00:24:53.901] Well, after the eulogizers got through, I’m saying about, “Now I’m gonna get me a good drink of alcohol,” and that’s not sanity.

[00:24:53.901 – 00:24:55.381] But they tricked me.

[00:24:55.381 – 00:24:59.681] They had augmented the choir, and the choir starts to sing.

[00:24:59.681 – 00:25:05.261] They sang every hymn in the Methodist hymnal and half out the Baptist hymnal.

[00:25:05.261 – 00:25:09.441] Wandering child, please come home.

[00:25:09.441 – 00:25:14.241] We’ll all gather down by the river at the foot of the cross, and Jesus loves you.

[00:25:14.241 – 00:25:16.661] And here’s a hymn I do not like.

[00:25:16.661 – 00:25:23.621] That’s Amazing Grace, because I’m married to a gal, her name is Grace, and she ain’t amazing.

[00:25:23.621 – 00:25:26.981] And finally, they get through.

[00:25:26.981 – 00:25:33.681] And you know the pallbearer’s got to wheel the deceased up while the congregation files by, takes a look, before they close the box.

[00:25:33.681 – 00:25:39.221] And then they go down the steps and line up on either side of the steps leading to the hearse.

[00:25:39.221 – 00:25:44.030] And I knew I could never hold the northeast corner of that coffin up without a drink of whiskey.

[00:25:44.030 – 00:25:49.201] And one of the funeral house assistants came by, and I nailed him, and I said, “I’m sick.

[00:25:49.201 – 00:25:59.381] Take my place.” And I scooted out the side door, got in that station wagon and went about three blocks, pulled that bottle out, peeled that sack down like a banana,

[00:25:59.381 – 00:26:01.401] knocked the cap off, took a drink.

[00:26:01.401 – 00:26:02.661] Oh, began to smooth out.

[00:26:02.661 – 00:26:03.341] Took another.

[00:26:03.341 – 00:26:04.901] My hair laid back down.

[00:26:04.901 – 00:26:06.981] My underwear loosened up.

[00:26:06.981 – 00:26:09.761] My feet felt more comfortable in them boots.

[00:26:09.761 – 00:26:11.011] And thank …

[00:26:11.011 – 00:26:12.261] And it took another and another.

[00:26:12.261 – 00:26:22.541] And thank God I had enough sanity not to try to crawl in with the rest of the pallbearers drinking and drunk or to try to drive in the funeral procession at five

[00:26:22.541 – 00:26:23.541] miles an hour drunk.

[00:26:23.541 – 00:26:27.001] Well, the cemetery’s about five miles out in the country.

[00:26:27.001 – 00:26:36.371] I said, “Well, I’ll gauge my speed, and I’ll get out there when the hearse gets out there, the procession.” So I started.

[00:26:36.371 – 00:26:40.801] I’m drinking with one hand and driving, and I turn on my radio.

[00:26:40.801 – 00:26:50.861] And I love country western music, and my favorite radio station in those days was Del Rio, Texas, where they sold Bibles and

[00:26:50.861 – 00:26:54.901] crosses and chains and rejuvenation powders and potions and lotions.

[00:26:54.901 – 00:26:56.280] Post office box.

[00:26:56.280 – 00:26:58.100] They sold everything under the sun.

[00:26:58.100 – 00:26:59.841] Get your Kewpie doll of Jesus.

[00:26:59.841 – 00:27:00.601] You can love him.

[00:27:00.601 – 00:27:01.281] You can hug him.

[00:27:01.281 – 00:27:02.081] You can kiss him.

[00:27:02.081 – 00:27:07.101] He’s with you 365 days out of the year, and he glows in the dark, you know.

[00:27:07.101 – 00:27:10.961] And they play those fine country western tunes.

[00:27:10.961 – 00:27:13.381] Don’t wink them bloodshot eyes at me.

[00:27:13.381 – 00:27:17.681] And here’s one that’s good for 11 months of drinking and 14 months of crying.

[00:27:17.681 – 00:27:20.441] Only God Made Honky Tonk Angels.

[00:27:20.441 – 00:27:22.801] And I’m a-singing, and I’m drinking.

[00:27:22.801 – 00:27:24.481] I get out to the cemetery.

[00:27:24.481 – 00:27:25.781] There’s nobody there.

[00:27:25.781 – 00:27:27.841] I climb up the wet hill.

[00:27:27.841 – 00:27:31.941] The false grass has been laid, chairs over it, tent over that.

[00:27:31.941 – 00:27:36.101] The grave had been dug, stanchion at each end and a sling for the coffin.

[00:27:36.101 – 00:27:37.481] Nobody shows up.

[00:27:37.481 – 00:27:41.761] I get behind the little lectern, make about a two-minute eulogy.

[00:27:41.761 – 00:27:43.601] Nobody shows up.

[00:27:43.601 – 00:27:47.141] See a couple of chairs out of line, straighten them up.

[00:27:47.141 – 00:27:50.941] Slide back down the hill, take about eight more honks on that juice.

[00:27:50.941 – 00:27:53.401] I’m coming up that wet, slick hill.

[00:27:53.401 – 00:27:54.921] Now, I’m not seeing double.

[00:27:54.921 – 00:27:56.181] I’m seeing quadruple.

[00:27:56.181 – 00:28:00.681] And I’m seeing four whole rows of chairs that are out of line.

[00:28:00.681 – 00:28:01.181] It’s crooked.

[00:28:01.181 – 00:28:03.681] I gotta straighten them chairs up.

[00:28:03.681 – 00:28:09.301] Well, if there’s anything our kind don’t want, we don’t want anybody to know we’ve been around and messed up.

[00:28:09.301 – 00:28:16.001] So I’m aiming for four chairs that ain’t out of line, and I hit that old false grass.

[00:28:16.001 – 00:28:17.841] It gets slicker than you know what.

[00:28:17.841 – 00:28:21.311] And one of the tips of my boot catches a seam on that thing.

[00:28:21.311 – 00:28:23.311] And the next thing you know, I’m sliding.

[00:28:23.311 – 00:28:25.821] The next thing you know, I’m grabbing two chairs.

[00:28:25.821 – 00:28:30.021] The next thing you know, me and two chairs, we’re down in the bottom of that hole down there.

[00:28:30.021 – 00:28:38.421] And you know, when you’re extremely drunk, and you’re flat on your back, and you can’t get up, it’s the most helpless feeling in the world.

[00:28:38.421 – 00:28:40.921] Here comes the preacher.

[00:28:40.921 – 00:28:43.705] Here comes Grace, my wife.

[00:28:43.705 – 00:28:46.665] Here comes the pallbearers with the deceased.

[00:28:46.665 – 00:28:56.665] And the son of the deceased hears all that scratching and squealing down at the bottom of that hole, and he sticks his long turkey neck down there, and he sees me,

[00:28:56.665 – 00:29:05.545] and he asks me this brilliant question, “What are you doing down there?” And I gave him a drinking drunk’s best shot.

[00:29:05.545 – 00:29:15.565] I said, “I’m trying to get out, that’s what I’m doing.” They haul me out, and I’m drunk, and I’m wet, and I’m muddied, and

[00:29:15.565 – 00:29:17.065] every eye is looking at me.

[00:29:17.065 – 00:29:22.805] And I could see the looks in the eyes of the people who I love the most and who love me the most.

[00:29:22.805 – 00:29:32.365] I could see the tears, the shame, the disgust, the befuddlement, the utter disbelief and disgrace.

[00:29:32.365 – 00:29:42.505] But I also saw something in those eyes that every alcoholic has seen in the eyes of the people who love us the most, and who love us

[00:29:42.505 – 00:29:48.165] the most, not only when drinking, unfortunately sometimes after we get sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:29:48.165 – 00:29:57.445] Although those eyes do not audibly say these words, those eyes look these words, and those words are, “Oh, no.

[00:29:57.445 – 00:30:08.485] Not again.” And I’m saying, “Get these services over with so I can obliterate from my innermost consciousness the

[00:30:08.485 – 00:30:17.745] guilt, the shame, and the remarks, and the looks in the eyes of the people I love the most, who love me the most.” And when those services were over with, I didn’t go out and take me a drink of alcohol.

[00:30:17.745 – 00:30:23.045] I went out and got a box of alcohol, and I didn’t come back to that town for three and a half months.

[00:30:23.045 – 00:30:31.605] But the ridicule and the shame that my wife and our two young boys had to endure was almost too much for their sanity.

[00:30:31.605 – 00:30:34.105] That’s what you call getting drunk at the wrong time.

[00:30:34.105 – 00:30:41.845] But after I got sober, I realized that I had, at that time, no defense.

[00:30:41.845 – 00:30:48.565] No defense not getting drunk, and neither do you.

[00:30:48.565 – 00:30:49.465] Yeah.

[00:30:49.465 – 00:30:52.865] That’s a tremendous gift we’ve been given.

[00:30:52.865 – 00:31:01.245] The inability to sleep without the use of alcohol, loss of a memory during a drunk, and the deadening.

[00:31:01.245 – 00:31:03.285] We hear these in the personal stories.

[00:31:03.285 – 00:31:13.305] And, you know, once our kind become an alcoholic, and sadly we do not recognize it, when we cross over the borderline, invisible

[00:31:13.305 – 00:31:16.365] line, whatever you want to call it, we are an alcoholic for life.

[00:31:16.365 – 00:31:19.345] We may go years and years without drinking.

[00:31:19.345 – 00:31:25.485] Yet when we go back, we’re back in the old squirrel cage again, and it’s never better.

[00:31:25.485 – 00:31:26.055] It’s worse.

[00:31:26.055 – 00:31:36.065] So it’s not only important that we admit that we are alcoholic, but we continue to bear in mind that as alcoholics, only complete sobriety will

[00:31:36.065 – 00:31:39.105] keep us reasonably normal and sane.

[00:31:39.105 – 00:31:42.234] And what is total sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous?

[00:31:42.234 – 00:31:47.285] It’s fourfold: mental, physical, emotional, and soul.

[00:31:47.285 – 00:31:54.445] If there’s one area in a human being’s life that our recovery program did not cover, us drunks would have eaten this program up alive.

[00:31:54.445 – 00:31:58.805] Program, uh, the principles are too powerful for us, too powerful for us.

[00:31:58.805 – 00:32:08.815] So if you’re new, or if you’ve been around, or if you’re wondering, “Is it really worth it?” can say to them and say,

[00:32:08.815 – 00:32:12.265] “Yes, I have an alcoholic problem.

[00:32:12.265 – 00:32:16.645] I’m certain that I’m an alcoholic.

[00:32:16.645 – 00:32:23.845] But more important, I have to continue to live sober,” then half the battle is won.

[00:32:23.845 – 00:32:34.065] And then the mind is open to listen to the experience by the sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous as they explain to us in their own lives

[00:32:34.065 – 00:32:38.005] how they’re living, if you decide you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it.

[00:32:38.005 – 00:32:40.725] That our lives become unmanageable.

[00:32:40.725 – 00:32:45.045] Many come to Alcoholics Anonymous and believe their lives are unmanageable when they’re drinking.

[00:32:45.045 – 00:32:45.365] No.

[00:32:45.365 – 00:32:46.685] When we’re drinking, we’re drunk.

[00:32:46.685 – 00:32:48.805] It’s in between drunks.

[00:32:48.805 – 00:32:58.825] My life right this very s- tick of time, living a lifestyle on David’s own terms, is just as unmanageable as it

[00:32:58.825 – 00:33:03.485] was before I got here, period.

[00:33:03.485 – 00:33:07.765] No more, no less, and I believe it with every fiber of my being.

[00:33:07.765 – 00:33:09.185] I swear.

[00:33:09.185 – 00:33:11.845] AA tells us exactly when we’re gonna get drunk again.

[00:33:11.845 – 00:33:21.865] When it tells us we do not know when the obsession to drink will return, but we know that it will, and if we’re not on solid spiritual ground at that time, then it may

[00:33:21.865 – 00:33:23.465] be too late.

[00:33:23.465 – 00:33:25.365] Read our book.

[00:33:25.365 – 00:33:28.505] Listen to the stories that go back to drinking.

[00:33:28.505 – 00:33:38.685] All the stories in the book that went back to drinking, and even those that are not in that are in AA or were in AA and not members today that went back to drinking, they all say the same thing.

[00:33:38.685 – 00:33:43.125] They failed to enlarge and develop their spiritual life.

[00:33:43.125 – 00:33:53.125] And so as a result of it, anyone just stop and examine one of their drunks should not have a difficult time in admitting

[00:33:53.125 – 00:33:54.565] that we drift away from normal.

[00:33:54.565 – 00:34:03.805] Normal drinking for me would get you a pint of cheap whiskey or a pint of wine, knock the cap off, suck her down in one swallow, throw the empty away, and go get another.

[00:34:03.805 – 00:34:13.265] Many of us, we’ve admitted, you know, that we tried any method to live, think, and try to drink normally to control it but always failed.

[00:34:13.265 – 00:34:15.885] Many of us tried medicine.

[00:34:15.885 – 00:34:21.325] Many of us tried psychiatry, drying out parlors, nuthouses, hospitals.

[00:34:21.325 – 00:34:23.985] When I say hospitals, I do not mean treatment modalities.

[00:34:23.985 – 00:34:33.885] Caves, tents, witch doctors, horoscopes, biorhythm charts, acupuncture, hypnosis, anything.

[00:34:33.885 – 00:34:42.225] So now when we come to the point in the managing of our lives, we’re a complete failure, our kind.

[00:34:42.225 – 00:34:46.485] Because if I could manage my life, I could have managed my drinking.

[00:34:46.485 – 00:34:52.825] Step two, came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

[00:34:52.825 – 00:35:01.465] Step two, step six, step, step seven of by A’s experience are three of the most sloughed over steps in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:35:01.465 – 00:35:06.085] You’ll hear a member say, “Yes, I know I was insane.

[00:35:06.085 – 00:35:17.105] I was treated for shocks treatment.” Now, has nothing to do with whether one has been legally declared insane, psychotically

[00:35:17.105 – 00:35:20.685] declared insane, medically declared insane, or any way.

[00:35:20.685 – 00:35:22.885] Has nothing to do with it.

[00:35:22.885 – 00:35:33.075] Sanity, an alcoholic came to believe that a Power greater could restore us to have sense enough one day at a time to realize that

[00:35:33.075 – 00:35:43.525] we have a twofold illness of mind and body, that unless we’re willing to have sense enough to realize the seriousness of the nature, we will continue

[00:35:43.525 – 00:35:48.125] to drink and not get sober and stay sober.

[00:35:48.125 – 00:35:58.365] Sanity for our kind of people s- begins when we don’t take that first drink one day at a time, and

[00:35:58.365 – 00:35:59.445] then begin to grow.

[00:35:59.445 – 00:36:05.545] And so as a result of it, we’ve taken the first step, then we want to know how we’re going to receive assistance.

[00:36:05.545 – 00:36:14.125] Looking to our own past lives, we discover that our attempts to give up alcohol through our own willpower failed.

[00:36:14.125 – 00:36:24.155] It’s comforting to know, however, that many great minds are agreed that trying to use willpower in this business of trying to stay sober is like trying to lift ourselves

[00:36:24.155 – 00:36:25.525] up by our own bootstraps.

[00:36:25.525 – 00:36:33.285] The sincere efforts of our families and friends to help us, in most instances, were totally unsuccessful.

[00:36:33.285 – 00:36:37.105] Many of us fancied ourselves as rugged individualists.

[00:36:37.105 – 00:36:47.305] We like to say, “You know, I like to think I’m the master of my fate and I’m the captain of my soul.” That sounds real good when you’re sitting in a bar and you’re beating

[00:36:47.305 – 00:36:56.225] on it saying, “I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul,” and the phone rings, and you say, “Hey, bartender, tell her I ain’t here,” you know.

[00:36:56.225 – 00:37:05.025] Well, we lived a little thinking that we’ve been miserable failures in the business of living sober.

[00:37:05.025 – 00:37:08.565] Many of us tried medicine.

[00:37:08.565 – 00:37:12.245] We tried hospitals.

[00:37:12.245 – 00:37:15.505] We tried treatment modalities, some of it.

[00:37:15.505 – 00:37:17.285] Religion.

[00:37:17.285 – 00:37:20.085] We found a lot of deep sympathy.

[00:37:20.085 – 00:37:27.245] In many instances, they took our money, but we couldn’t find com- sobriety.

[00:37:27.245 – 00:37:32.185] So willpower, help from family, friends, medicine, farm, religion have failed.

[00:37:32.185 – 00:37:42.245] There were a group of people such as us who had exhausted all the alternatives, and they

[00:37:42.245 – 00:37:46.315] finally found what we now know as our recovery program, Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:37:46.315 – 00:37:52.865] And they found there was not but one place to turn to, and that was a Power greater than ourselves.

[00:37:52.865 – 00:37:55.945] Sanity begins to us.

[00:37:55.945 – 00:37:57.385] It starts the sanity.

[00:37:57.385 – 00:38:03.805] And believing in this Power greater than ourselves that can do to and with and for us what we cannot possibly do to and with ourselves.

[00:38:03.805 – 00:38:05.605] We’ll pick it up later.

[00:38:05.605 – 00:38:07.585] Later.

[00:38:07.585 – 00:38:14.765] That the great fact that the obsession to drink has been removed.

[00:38:14.765 – 00:38:18.145] Sanity has been returned.

[00:38:18.145 – 00:38:22.185] That’s the kind of sanity AA talks about.

[00:38:22.185 – 00:38:23.285] Yeah.

[00:38:23.285 – 00:38:28.945] And so there’s not but one place, and this is not difficult as it may seem.

[00:38:28.945 – 00:38:34.145] We’re not asked to go to a house of worship to find this Power greater than ourselves.

[00:38:34.145 – 00:38:37.925] We’re not even asked to seek the advice of a clergyman.

[00:38:37.925 – 00:38:44.785] We’ve got herds of clergymen that are sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous know more about clergying than there’s clergy.

[00:38:44.785 – 00:38:50.155] And they are just as suffer from the twofold illness of mind and body as anybody else.

[00:38:50.155 – 00:38:59.085] We’ve got herds of psychiatrists that are members of AA that know more about psychiatrists that are in the same situation.

[00:38:59.085 – 00:39:03.965] We’re only asked to quit trying to run our own life our own way and making such a sorry mess of it.

[00:39:03.965 – 00:39:13.985] And then with an open mind, listen to and then begin to accept the experience of

[00:39:13.985 – 00:39:24.245] people such as us when we come here who have ironed out the same problem that brings every one of us to Alcoholics

[00:39:24.245 – 00:39:30.375] Anonymous, the inability to live sober as a problem drinker.

[00:39:30.375 – 00:39:34.465] And I’m one of these kind, I like to keep it as simple as I can.

[00:39:34.465 – 00:39:44.585] If we remember back when we were little kids, and we’d go out and we’d stump our toe, or somebody would s- steal our little scooter or our rope

[00:39:44.585 – 00:39:55.025] and our ball and our jacks and our little tricycle and our toys, and we come running in the house just bawling away.

[00:39:55.025 – 00:39:58.485] And we put our head in Nanny’s lap.

[00:39:58.485 – 00:40:02.605] And something about nannies, they always had a handkerchief in their bosom.

[00:40:02.605 – 00:40:12.145] They’d pull that handkerchief out and say, “Blow your nose, child.” And then they’d start rubbing our rump and the back of our neck and they’re like, “Tell me, tell me your troubles, child.

[00:40:12.145 – 00:40:14.765] Tell me all about it.” And we’d pour our little hearts out.

[00:40:14.765 – 00:40:24.785] And they’d say, “Everything’s going to be all right, child.” And we believed it because we trusted when

[00:40:24.785 – 00:40:26.365] we were naive little children.

[00:40:26.365 – 00:40:35.905] So, and then they’d pat us on the back, say, “Go to the icebox,” give us some money, go down to the store and get some candy or something or ice cream.

[00:40:35.905 – 00:40:40.405] And so, and we leave life like a goose in a new world, you know?

[00:40:40.405 – 00:40:50.613] And so if we can believe as when we were naive little children in this universal Father ready to listen to our troubles- Ready

[00:40:50.613 – 00:40:59.813] to give us the same understanding and love that we received from someone whom we trusted that was older than us when we were little children.

[00:40:59.813 – 00:41:08.513] Look around at y- at your friends and they, you know, their troubles were as great as anybody else’s.

[00:41:08.513 – 00:41:13.713] Some, not all, were down and outers, morally and in many cases, physically.

[00:41:13.713 – 00:41:20.073] Yet by beginning to live the same set of principles, they have managed to live sober.

[00:41:20.073 – 00:41:26.953] It’s just a matter of wanting to listen to the experience and then put it into practice.

[00:41:26.953 – 00:41:33.793] Live the program as it’s laid out for us, but more important, have faith in that program.

[00:41:33.793 – 00:41:39.433] It’s working for us, and it’ll work for any alcoholic.

[00:41:39.433 – 00:41:41.573] You can…

[00:41:41.573 – 00:41:43.833] We cannot work these steps.

[00:41:43.833 – 00:41:47.293] The steps have to work us.

[00:41:47.293 – 00:41:55.173] The minute we put our hands on it, with our innate selfness, self-centered, we begin to bend it, we begin to twist it.

[00:41:55.173 – 00:41:57.373] So what was the dilemma?

[00:41:57.373 – 00:41:59.513] Why do we need to be restored to sanity?

[00:41:59.513 – 00:42:03.153] What was our problem before we got here?

[00:42:03.153 – 00:42:05.593] Not drinking, but in between drunks.

[00:42:05.593 – 00:42:11.033] Why is it that we had everything in this world to live for, yet we returned to drinking?

[00:42:11.033 – 00:42:12.993] Where was this power?

[00:42:12.993 – 00:42:15.373] Why couldn’t willpower do it?

[00:42:15.373 – 00:42:20.913] Right now, willpower.

[00:42:20.913 – 00:42:27.333] Oh, there may be somebody say, “Well, look at me, I’m using my willpower, and I don’t live, step this, that.” They ain’t dead yet.

[00:42:27.333 – 00:42:36.453] Lack of power was our dilemma, and we had to find a power by which we could live.

[00:42:36.453 – 00:42:42.513] And it had to be a power greater than ourselves, obviously.

[00:42:42.513 – 00:42:46.233] But where and how do we find this power?

[00:42:46.233 – 00:42:55.653] Our book says, “The main object of this book is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself that’ll solve your problems.” You ain’t my problem.

[00:42:55.653 – 00:42:57.733] David is David’s problem.

[00:42:57.733 – 00:43:07.933] Then they wrote a line in that book, two lines, greatest lines I’ve ever read in any book, any place, anywhere, from the time since I could read to right now.

[00:43:07.933 – 00:43:17.933] We believe that we have written a book that is both moral and spiritual, which has mean to me, means

[00:43:17.933 – 00:43:23.193] to me right now, if I’m willing to do what was put in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:43:23.193 – 00:43:29.033] You know, they tell you how they did it, but they don’t tell you when they did it.

[00:43:29.033 – 00:43:35.393] The time factor in each of our lives is when we, it’s time for us to do it.

[00:43:35.393 – 00:43:36.713] That’s all.

[00:43:36.713 – 00:43:45.533] If I’m willing to do it, then I no longer have to be concerned whether I have a spiritual or moral life.

[00:43:45.533 – 00:43:53.413] As long as I’m living sober, I have one, and no one can tell me I am wrong.

[00:43:53.413 – 00:43:59.473] That is a tremendous gift and a tremendous feeling.

[00:43:59.473 – 00:44:00.813] We all have it.

[00:44:00.813 – 00:44:04.513] We may not express it in the way that I just got through expressing it.

[00:44:04.513 – 00:44:14.553] Now, as soon as any of us believes or is willing to believe, we emphatically

[00:44:14.553 – 00:44:16.973] assure him or her that he or she is on the way.

[00:44:16.973 – 00:44:26.513] And it’s been a, it’s been repeatedly proven among us that upon this very simple cornerstone, a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.

[00:44:26.513 – 00:44:34.003] If one reads the book of Alcoholics Anonymous and reads Bill’s story, it was just a matter of Bill being willing to believe in a power greater than himself.

[00:44:34.003 – 00:44:38.713] No further requirement was necessary for him to make a beginning.

[00:44:38.713 – 00:44:40.952] Step three.

[00:44:40.952 – 00:44:45.733] Now, if you look at the 12 steps, the first step is a diagnosis.

[00:44:45.733 – 00:44:47.553] The second step is a prescription.

[00:44:47.553 – 00:44:49.833] The third step is taking the medicine.

[00:44:49.833 – 00:44:52.093] The fourth step is a diagnosis.

[00:44:52.093 – 00:44:54.153] The fifth step is a prescription.

[00:44:54.153 – 00:44:57.093] Step six and seven is taking the medicine.

[00:44:57.093 – 00:45:00.193] All but the last line of the eighth step is a diagnosis.

[00:45:00.193 – 00:45:02.813] The last line of the eighth step is a prescription.

[00:45:02.813 – 00:45:04.633] The ninth step is taking the medicine.

[00:45:04.633 – 00:45:06.753] The tenth step is a diagnosis.

[00:45:06.753 – 00:45:08.353] The 11th step is a prescription.

[00:45:08.353 – 00:45:10.552] The 12th step is taking the medicine.

[00:45:10.552 – 00:45:12.363] Now, if that gets more complicated than that

[00:45:12.523 – 00:45:14.023] I’m gonna have to go get me another deal.

[00:45:14.023 – 00:45:23.523] Now, step three, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

[00:45:23.523 – 00:45:27.723] Now, if we’ve come to believe there’s a power greater than ourselves…

[00:45:27.723 – 00:45:29.343] You see, A.A.

[00:45:29.343 – 00:45:35.083] had a chance to blow itself out of the tub when it got started by trying to define God in the second step.

[00:45:35.083 – 00:45:36.303] It didn’t.

[00:45:36.303 – 00:45:37.243] Didn’t even name it.

[00:45:37.243 – 00:45:38.643] Believing.

[00:45:38.643 – 00:45:43.173] Believing in a power greater than ourselves.

[00:45:43.173 – 00:45:47.263] This opens the door for the agnostics and the atheists, whatever they believe in.

[00:45:47.263 – 00:45:52.563] It’s their honest conception, and it’s, a lot of them are staying sober.

[00:45:52.563 – 00:46:01.593] Now, if, once we have come to believe there is a power greater than ourselves, and we want to stay sober and live the A.A.

[00:46:01.593 – 00:46:08.663] way of recovery program in life more than anything else in this world, but we confine it to one day at a time.

[00:46:08.663 – 00:46:18.783] Then if we want it more than anything in the world, it’s not too difficult to turn the thing that ru- that power, and that’s us.

[00:46:18.783 – 00:46:29.183] As I said in the second step, that as rugged indivi- individuals, we are rank failures in the business of living sober, always looking in the future,

[00:46:29.183 – 00:46:30.383] always disappointed.

[00:46:30.383 – 00:46:39.023] It, it, it is at this point that one day at a time, day by day, or the 24-hour plan comes to our assistance.

[00:46:39.023 – 00:46:41.643] And what is one day at a time living?

[00:46:41.643 – 00:46:45.453] In our co-founder Bill’s own words, as Bill sees it, or the A.A.

[00:46:45.453 – 00:46:48.943] way of life, it’s our emotional being one day at a time.

[00:46:48.943 – 00:46:51.483] Our emotions break us or make us when we’re sober.

[00:46:51.483 – 00:46:55.703] Now, we have found that by giving up planning…

[00:46:55.703 – 00:46:59.983] I got up this morning, and we let each day take care of itself.

[00:46:59.983 – 00:47:07.663] When I got up this morning, I didn’t say, “David, you’re gonna stay sober for David, and David’s gonna keep David sober.” Uh-uh.

[00:47:07.663 – 00:47:08.263] No.

[00:47:08.263 – 00:47:10.843] I lost that power of choice long ago.

[00:47:10.843 – 00:47:17.263] I got up this morning, I said, “Good morning, Heavenly Father.” I call it Heavenly Father God.

[00:47:17.263 – 00:47:21.863] I don’t call it the eye in the sky, Herman, the brown paper bag, or the Velveteen Rabbit.

[00:47:21.863 – 00:47:24.823] I said, “Good morning, Heavenly Father God.

[00:47:24.823 – 00:47:34.823] My name is David A., and I’m an alcoholic, and I’m reporting in, and only with your help can I stay sober this day, and here is my jug, and you keep it

[00:47:34.823 – 00:47:44.983] for me this day.” And since I’ve been doing that, God has not poured me a drink of alcohol and said, “Drink it, David.” Now,

[00:47:44.983 – 00:47:48.703] I’m one of them kind that I ain’t gonna sit by the bed and meditate for 10 minutes.

[00:47:48.703 – 00:47:50.223] I’ll fall back asleep.

[00:47:50.223 – 00:47:54.063] I get up and get to going.

[00:47:54.063 – 00:47:57.463] And then when I’m driving to my office, that’s when I’m…

[00:47:57.463 – 00:48:01.333] I don’t listen to the radio, read the newspapers, nothing.

[00:48:01.333 – 00:48:04.023] I just talk to God.

[00:48:04.023 – 00:48:10.843] And so we found out each day take care of itself did when we were drinking.

[00:48:10.843 – 00:48:12.023] Yeah.

[00:48:12.023 – 00:48:17.403] And if we’re doing the best we know how with whatever experience we have, we’re doing the best we know how.

[00:48:17.403 – 00:48:27.763] Now, and I ask God to stay sober, me to stay sober this day w- only with His help, and the next, and the next, and the next,

[00:48:27.763 – 00:48:29.643] and then when the day ends, I thank Him.

[00:48:29.643 – 00:48:36.003] This is a first step in turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.

[00:48:36.003 – 00:48:44.803] Now, when we come to Alcoholics Anonymous, we come in, we stop drinking one day at a time.

[00:48:44.803 – 00:48:47.563] They give desire chips, some don’t.

[00:48:47.563 – 00:48:51.583] You get a 30-day winner, you get three months or six months to nine months.

[00:48:51.583 – 00:48:52.643] It’s already happened.

[00:48:52.643 – 00:48:56.463] It’s already happened.

[00:48:56.463 – 00:48:59.583] Because next thing you know, we’re saying the Serenity Prayer.

[00:48:59.583 – 00:49:00.643] It’s got God in it.

[00:49:00.643 – 00:49:02.343] We’re saying the Lord’s Prayer.

[00:49:02.343 – 00:49:03.223] That’s God in it.

[00:49:03.223 – 00:49:06.243] It’s already beginning to happen.

[00:49:06.243 – 00:49:09.983] The key is let it keep on happening.

[00:49:09.983 – 00:49:16.003] I was talking to a young member not long ago, and he says, “I’m having trouble with the third step.

[00:49:16.003 – 00:49:26.223] What do you think?” I said, “I believe you haven’t, still don’t believe the second step.” I said, “I’d like to ask you some questions.” He said, “What’s that?” I said, “How long you been sober?”

[00:49:26.223 – 00:49:36.263] He said, “Three years.” I said, “How was it the next to last day you got sober three years ago?” He said, “It was horrible.” I said, “Well, y- y-

[00:49:36.263 – 00:49:42.363] you got on some nice-looking shoes, pants, shirt, tie.

[00:49:42.363 – 00:49:48.723] What was your clothing situation next to last day you got sober three years ago?” He said, “I was barefooted.

[00:49:48.723 – 00:50:00.063] I was in an old pair of khaki britches that I’d been in for about 11 months, no underwear.” I said, uh, “You

[00:50:00.063 – 00:50:10.163] got a job?” He said, “It’s the best little job I’ve ever had in my life.” I said, “Well, how was, what was your job situation next to last day when you got sober three

[00:50:10.163 – 00:50:22.323] years ago?” He said, “I was unemployed and had been unemployed for two years.” I said, “You married?” He says, “You know, nine

[00:50:22.323 – 00:50:26.603] months ago, the little wife and the, our two children returned.

[00:50:26.603 – 00:50:38.763] We’re living under one roof again.” I said, “What was your wife and children’s situation next to last day when you got sober three years ago?” He said five

[00:50:38.763 – 00:50:48.803] years before that, he was stood up in front of a judge and told he was never to see his children again, nothing to do with them and nothing to do with

[00:50:48.803 – 00:50:49.803] his spouse.

[00:50:49.803 – 00:50:59.463] I said, “You got a house?” He says, “You know, we just closed the contract two weeks ago.

[00:50:59.463 – 00:51:03.183] It’s the first house that we’re gonna own.

[00:51:03.183 – 00:51:13.243] We pay for it.” I said, “Well, what was your housing situation next to last day three years ago you got sober?” He says, “I was sleeping in alleys over steam grates

[00:51:13.243 – 00:51:23.243] and cardboard boxes.” I said, “You got a car?” He says, “Best little car we’ve ever had.” “What was your transportation

[00:51:23.243 – 00:51:31.583] next last day when you got sober three years ago?” He says, “I was afoot and had been afoot for four years.” I said, “Dummy, it’s already happening.

[00:51:31.583 – 00:51:34.363] Just keep on doing what you’re doing.

[00:51:34.363 – 00:51:38.303] That’s all.” It’s happening to every one of us.

[00:51:38.303 – 00:51:42.423] But our own selfish and self-centered ways get into it.

[00:51:42.423 – 00:51:45.983] I’m just as guilty as anybody else, you know?

[00:51:45.983 – 00:51:46.843] You betcha.

[00:51:46.843 – 00:51:52.563] And so this is the first step in turning our will and our life over the care of God as we understand Him.

[00:51:52.563 – 00:52:00.213] And we develop until we’ll find we are no longer headstrong, we’re no longer trying to run our own life our own way and make a sorry mess of it.

[00:52:00.213 – 00:52:04.063] Now, we hear it a lot of times in AA that it’s, that’s the third step.

[00:52:04.063 – 00:52:05.343] It’s the third step, prayer.

[00:52:05.343 – 00:52:10.283] Well, when I got sober, y’all were saying, praying strange prayers.

[00:52:10.283 – 00:52:20.223] And I didn’t know, and I went to my sponsor and I said, “They’re praying strange prayers, and I don’t care to pray that way.” He said, “There are three prayers in the Big Book, dummy.

[00:52:20.223 – 00:52:20.703] Read them.

[00:52:20.703 – 00:52:24.343] See if you can find them.” Well, I found the first one.

[00:52:24.343 – 00:52:24.963] Y’all call it…

[00:52:24.963 – 00:52:26.423] I didn’t call it a prayer, y’all do.

[00:52:26.423 – 00:52:32.043] It says, “Many of us said to our Maker.” You notice it didn’t say any, uh, all of them that are in the book?

[00:52:32.043 – 00:52:36.763] Many of them said to their Maker, as we understood Him.

[00:52:36.763 – 00:52:40.023] We don’t hear those words, do we?

[00:52:40.023 – 00:52:41.983] As we understood Him.

[00:52:41.983 – 00:52:46.983] “God, I offer myself to Thee to be with me and do with me as Thou will.

[00:52:46.983 – 00:52:51.983] Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may the better do Thy will.

[00:52:51.983 – 00:52:59.543] Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those that I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life.

[00:52:59.543 – 00:53:09.563] May I do Thy will always.” Now, right now, right this very sec-second of time, it means far more to me than it did when I read it when I was only

[00:53:09.563 – 00:53:15.063] about 10 days sober, over 30 years ago.

[00:53:15.063 – 00:53:17.983] Yeah.

[00:53:17.983 – 00:53:28.043] “God, I offer myself to Thee to be with me and do with me as Thou will.” Not how my sponsor wants me, not how you want me, not how my family

[00:53:28.043 – 00:53:34.323] wants me, not how my patients wants me, not how society wants me, but how God wants me.

[00:53:34.323 – 00:53:41.363] Then I ask Him to relieve me of the bondage of me that I better do His will.

[00:53:41.363 – 00:53:43.073] Now comes God’s will for us.

[00:53:43.073 – 00:53:53.103] And that is to let God take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those that

[00:53:53.103 – 00:53:57.083] I would help, of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life.

[00:53:57.083 – 00:54:00.223] May I do Thy will always.

[00:54:00.223 – 00:54:07.963] And always for us is let Him take away our difficulties, self from self, one day at a time.

[00:54:07.963 – 00:54:12.783] And it culminates in a 12 step, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps.

[00:54:12.783 – 00:54:17.303] That’s God’s will for us in AA.

[00:54:17.303 – 00:54:23.023] I was at a meeting not long ago, and they were talking about God’s will.

[00:54:23.023 – 00:54:34.103] And one of our little members said, “It’s God’s will that I buy a Ford Escort.” Now,

[00:54:34.103 – 00:54:36.443] God’s not interested in what kind of car I’m driving.

[00:54:36.443 – 00:54:38.303] You know what God’s interested in?

[00:54:38.303 – 00:54:43.763] If I can’t afford it and they repossess it, what’s my attitude?

[00:54:43.763 – 00:54:47.883] Yeah.

[00:54:47.883 – 00:54:57.963] Now, it said we thought well before taking this step, making sure we were ready, that we could at last abandon

[00:54:57.963 – 00:55:00.343] th- ourselves utterly to Him.

[00:55:00.343 – 00:55:04.923] Now, you don’t have to have very many Big Book seminars and study groups on the word utterly.

[00:55:04.923 – 00:55:08.992] Now, I very seldom read from the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:55:08.992 – 00:55:13.743] I wouldn’t do it, but this portion right here I read, and I cannot get through it without cracking up laughing.

[00:55:13.743 – 00:55:15.743] It’s the funniest lines to me that’s in the book.

[00:55:15.743 – 00:55:27.443] It said, “We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual a-advisor.” The

[00:55:27.443 – 00:55:31.803] only three that were married were Bill and Bob and Bill Dodson.

[00:55:31.803 – 00:55:38.323] The rest of them, they didn’t have any wives and they didn’t have any friends and they didn’t have any spiritual advisors.

[00:55:38.323 – 00:55:38.583] Yeah.

[00:55:38.583 – 00:55:39.883] Yeah.

[00:55:39.883 – 00:55:45.423] But it’s better to meet God alone than with one, one who might misunderstand.

[00:55:45.423 – 00:55:47.863] You know, the little drunk comes in.

[00:55:47.863 – 00:55:55.803] He comes to AA, and he gets all excited, and he gets flushed with his spiritual enema, and he’s out to save the world.

[00:55:55.803 – 00:56:01.683] And he runs into his minister, and the minister says, “God, it’s good to see you.

[00:56:01.683 – 00:56:03.043] But we don’t…

[00:56:03.043 – 00:56:04.883] I haven’t seen you in Sunday school.

[00:56:04.883 – 00:56:07.423] I haven’t seen you at the Wednesday night prayer meeting.

[00:56:07.423 – 00:56:09.783] I haven’t seen you at the Sunday morning services.

[00:56:09.783 – 00:56:14.503] I haven’t seen you at the revivals or the encampments or the cemetery cleaning detail.

[00:56:14.503 – 00:56:19.063] Where you been?” Little drunk beam, “Mr.

[00:56:19.063 – 00:56:24.883] Preacher, I’m now a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and you know what I found?

[00:56:24.883 – 00:56:34.503] God.” And the preacher, the minister, and it’s a logical question for them to ask, “Well, why’d you have to go down there with them old drunks to find God?

[00:56:34.503 – 00:56:44.593] Why don’t you come to the church where they call it the house of God, where God is?” And

[00:56:44.593 – 00:56:47.463] the little drunk, he had an experience.

[00:56:47.463 – 00:56:47.883] He goes, “Mr.

[00:56:47.883 – 00:56:54.063] Preacher, I’m a member of your church, and you said, ‘Don’t you belong to no other church.

[00:56:54.063 – 00:56:57.583] Only God’s in this church.’ I went with a friend of mine.

[00:56:57.583 – 00:57:03.543] His sister got married in a Catholic church, and they introduced me to the priest.

[00:57:03.543 – 00:57:06.482] And the priest says, ‘Where do you go?’ Well, we…

[00:57:06.482 – 00:57:07.943] ‘Don’t go back over there.

[00:57:07.943 – 00:57:09.243] Come here.

[00:57:09.243 – 00:57:14.223] Only God’s here.’ Mr.

[00:57:14.223 – 00:57:19.983] Preacher, I come to Alcoholics Anonymous, and you know what you call them old drunks that?

[00:57:19.983 – 00:57:25.719] That God’s everywhere.” That’s the reason why I’m comfortable, Mr.

[00:57:25.719 – 00:57:28.139] Preacher, at Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:57:28.139 – 00:57:34.199] And I’d be more comfortable than I am come, coming, come, come back to your church and your services.

[00:57:34.199 – 00:57:38.859] Then I can understand something for the first time in my life.

[00:57:38.859 – 00:57:46.359] But it can never be a substitute nor a replacement for my recovery program in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:57:46.359 – 00:57:56.379] And so therefore, sometimes we take it a best friend, a spiritual advisor, but it’s better to meet God

[00:57:56.379 – 00:57:58.959] alone than with one who might misunderstand.

[00:57:58.959 – 00:58:00.179] That’s what I was talking about.

[00:58:00.179 – 00:58:09.079] And the wording was optional, but once expressed, a great feeling will begin to take place.

[00:58:09.079 – 00:58:12.739] Step four, made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

[00:58:12.739 – 00:58:21.319] Now, this is a step that requires something that none of us have the right kind before we get here, and that’s courage.

[00:58:21.319 – 00:58:31.499] You say, “What kind of courage?” Me, God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot and courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

[00:58:31.499 – 00:58:38.439] Now, one of the reasons for drinking was to escape from ourselves.

[00:58:38.439 – 00:58:42.479] It’s just like putting our shoes on backwards.

[00:58:42.479 – 00:58:46.079] We kept walking into ourselves and didn’t want ourselves and couldn’t get rid of ourselves.

[00:58:46.079 – 00:58:51.909] And we knew that we were afraid to face facts.

[00:58:51.909 – 00:58:58.319] The reason that we’re afraid to face facts, we’re afraid to face the consequences of the facts.

[00:58:58.319 – 00:59:04.639] We’re afraid of families and all these other things, and we’re afraid of thinking about them.

[00:59:04.639 – 00:59:15.319] But if we fortified ourselves by taking the major hurdles in the first three steps, the time now comes where

[00:59:15.319 – 00:59:17.379] we’re going to have to do something about living sober.

[00:59:17.379 – 00:59:19.598] Up to now, we’re just dry.

[00:59:19.598 – 00:59:29.939] And the sooner we do something about living sober, our chances of staying sober increase and increase

[00:59:29.939 – 00:59:31.479] and increase and increase.

[00:59:31.479 – 00:59:42.259] The longer we put it off, the chances to return to drinking or maybe mentally going crazy emotionally increases,

[00:59:42.259 – 00:59:44.439] increases, increases, increases.

[00:59:44.439 – 00:59:50.679] That’s not inventory, that’s AA’s experience and not opinion.

[00:59:50.679 – 00:59:59.039] Now, we find the time now comes, I said, do something definite about our problem.

[00:59:59.039 – 01:00:00.899] And what is the problem?

[01:00:00.899 – 01:00:09.639] Lack of power to change the effects of our defects of character in our life.

[01:00:09.639 – 01:00:10.739] We don’t know this now.

[01:00:10.739 – 01:00:12.179] Not in the fourth step.

[01:00:12.179 – 01:00:12.859] We don’t yet.

[01:00:12.859 – 01:00:14.498] No.

[01:00:14.498 – 01:00:17.889] Now, when we get into our fourth step, what are we going to…

[01:00:17.889 – 01:00:20.699] We find we’ve been dishonest with our own selves.

[01:00:20.699 – 01:00:25.379] If I’ve been dishonest with David, I’ve been dishonest with you and everything about me.

[01:00:25.379 – 01:00:32.619] We’ve lied about the true nature of our drinking.

[01:00:32.619 – 01:00:35.659] We’ve broken hearts.

[01:00:35.659 – 01:00:45.659] We’ve cheated the ones who love us the most to have a good night’s sleep and not to have to get up when the

[01:00:45.659 – 01:00:49.469] phone rings at 2:00, 3:00 in the morning or the doorbell rings.

[01:00:49.469 – 01:00:50.039] Who is it?

[01:00:50.039 – 01:00:51.779] Is it the drunk?

[01:00:51.779 – 01:00:54.239] Is it the coroner?

[01:00:54.239 – 01:00:55.459] Is it the sheriff?

[01:00:55.459 – 01:00:58.639] Is it the district attorney’s office?

[01:00:58.639 – 01:01:03.179] Is the drunk drunk and drop, brought some drunken playmates home?

[01:01:03.179 – 01:01:04.239] You know.

[01:01:04.239 – 01:01:07.339] We’ve let down employers.

[01:01:07.339 – 01:01:15.159] Some, not all, have indulged in extra marital curricular activities, broken faith.

[01:01:15.159 – 01:01:25.219] And all we find that when we get physically sober and look at ourselves with so much guilt, shame, and remorse, that we’ve been

[01:01:25.219 – 01:01:28.559] miserable individuals in the business of living sober.

[01:01:28.559 – 01:01:33.079] And this is where the great news that Alcoholics Anonymous brought to the world.

[01:01:33.079 – 01:01:37.579] It can be, if one has a, is an alcoholic, can be traced back to alcohol.

[01:01:37.579 – 01:01:44.479] You see, AA also brought to the world that ours was not a moral illness.

[01:01:44.479 – 01:01:52.379] How can it be moral if it’s self-inflicted, and we don’t want it, and we can’t get rid of it?

[01:01:52.379 – 01:01:57.839] Moral in Alcoholics Anonymous has nothing to do with immorality.

[01:01:57.839 – 01:02:02.539] Many come and look at that word moral in the fourth step and think right away immoral.

[01:02:02.539 – 01:02:03.419] It had nothing to do with it.

[01:02:03.419 – 01:02:13.779] We got to go into our recovery program, into another step to find out that those defects of character, those defects, those moral defects that made our lives

[01:02:13.779 – 01:02:22.199] unmanageable, defects of character, that tear down the fiber of a human being.

[01:02:22.199 – 01:02:29.279] And so if we continue our inventory, we consider our physical selves.

[01:02:29.279 – 01:02:31.539] Our health has been impaired.

[01:02:31.539 – 01:02:33.359] Money is faulty.

[01:02:33.359 – 01:02:36.179] Appearance has become careless and slovenly.

[01:02:36.179 – 01:02:38.859] Finances for some at a low ebb.

[01:02:38.859 – 01:02:41.879] I made a call on a drunk in a drying out joint.

[01:02:41.879 – 01:02:42.899] It wasn’t a treatment center.

[01:02:42.899 – 01:02:45.059] I walked in, I looked at him.

[01:02:45.059 – 01:02:55.519] Johnny looked at me and said, “What are you doing here?” I said, “I come here to visit with you.” He said, “David, do you know your reputation in Alcoholics Anonymous?” I said, “No.” He

[01:02:55.519 – 01:03:05.559] said, “Your reputation is that when you come and visit a drunk in a place like this, the next one comes is the undertaker.” I said, “I saw him turning the corner about two

[01:03:05.559 – 01:03:14.119] blocks away.” He hops out of bed, got on one of them short kimonos, you know, come halfway between the hip and the knees.

[01:03:14.119 – 01:03:15.099] They’re wearing them joints.

[01:03:15.099 – 01:03:17.319] One tie is always untied in the back.

[01:03:17.319 – 01:03:25.779] And he slips his feet in them half-moon paper shoes, toes and no heel, and comes towards me doing that thorazine shuffle that they do in that place.

[01:03:25.779 – 01:03:35.369] And he looks at me and he said, “What I need to do?” I said, “Bail yourself out, put your clothes on.” And come with me.

[01:03:35.369 – 01:03:44.429] He said, “Back to Alcoholics Anonymous?” I said, “Back to Alcoholics Anonymous.” You never were in AA, you just visited AA.

[01:03:44.429 – 01:03:47.468] You criticized the people in there.

[01:03:47.468 – 01:03:52.909] They didn’t have any money, the kind of cheap cars they were driving, and their clothes and their education and their political be…

[01:03:52.909 – 01:04:03.029] “Nah, we’re going to A…” Then I looked at him, said, “Johnny, how much money you got on your hips?” He said, “Nine hundred million.” I said, “What’d you have when you started?” He said, “A billion and a quarter,” and that’s

[01:04:03.029 – 01:04:03.269] true.

[01:04:03.269 – 01:04:05.369] Now, I could understand that.

[01:04:05.369 – 01:04:08.969] I didn’t file or pay income tax for 18 years.

[01:04:08.969 – 01:04:13.509] And I turned myself in to the federal government, IRS.

[01:04:13.509 – 01:04:23.689] And they estimated, no stocks, no bonds, no real estate, nothing, that I made,

[01:04:23.689 – 01:04:28.549] with my eyes, my hands, and my feet, a million and seven hundred some odd thousand dollars.

[01:04:28.549 – 01:04:38.589] And when I come to Alcoholics Anonymous, all I had was a quarter and a nickel, 30 cents, and that was all that was

[01:04:38.589 – 01:04:41.009] left, the last blood I sold to the blood bank to buy wine.

[01:04:41.009 – 01:04:51.009] Now, he came down from a billion and a quarter to 900 million, and I came down from a million seven hundred thousand dollars to

[01:04:51.009 – 01:04:51.569] 30 cents.

[01:04:51.569 – 01:04:53.329] I could understand that.

[01:04:53.329 – 01:04:56.949] Just like you got two dollars and then over one dollar, there’s no difference.

[01:04:56.949 – 01:04:58.709] You got two million and then over one million.

[01:04:58.709 – 01:04:59.969] It’s relative.

[01:04:59.969 – 01:05:00.629] That’s all.

[01:05:00.629 – 01:05:01.669] Yeah.

[01:05:01.669 – 01:05:09.989] And so once we have taken ourselves apart, we wonder how on this world people put up with us in the beg-begin with.

[01:05:09.989 – 01:05:12.629] Now, it’s a brave act to dissect oneself.

[01:05:12.629 – 01:05:13.929] But we’re conse…

[01:05:13.929 – 01:05:21.989] uh, we’re compensated by the great feeling of satisfaction that we at last fairly faced an issue.

[01:05:21.989 – 01:05:32.029] And no one in their right senses wants to continue living in a manner in which we used to when we find out what’s wrong with

[01:05:32.029 – 01:05:32.149] us.

[01:05:32.149 – 01:05:36.069] Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

[01:05:36.069 – 01:05:41.329] Now, searching and fearless means to search for having no fear.

[01:05:41.329 – 01:05:44.588] Of course, we’re going to find a lot of rotten stuff.

[01:05:44.588 – 01:05:51.409] Well, what do we expect to find after months, weeks, sometimes years of abnormal living and drinking?

[01:05:51.409 – 01:05:56.689] Some of it’s gonna be not so nice, but it’s in the inventory.

[01:05:56.689 – 01:06:05.509] That’s the basic reason we’re taking it, in order to know what has to be eliminated in the next step of ourselves.

[01:06:05.509 – 01:06:08.829] We in no way permit the faults of others to enter in our inventory.

[01:06:08.829 – 01:06:11.649] We assume full responsibility.

[01:06:11.649 – 01:06:16.769] It’s an inventory of ourselves, ourselves only, our faults.

[01:06:16.769 – 01:06:22.029] Not of our loved ones, not of ev- the names will be in there, sure.

[01:06:22.029 – 01:06:25.669] It’s gonna come in handy now because A is a self-contained recovery program.

[01:06:25.669 – 01:06:30.669] For our eight step list, only, only of ourselves.

[01:06:30.669 – 01:06:41.369] And so now we’re down to the causes and conditions of our behavior, which is meant to me and means to me the condition of my mind that caused me to do the things I did

[01:06:41.369 – 01:06:44.689] in between drunks that triggered off the next one.

[01:06:44.689 – 01:06:50.169] It is in this step that we find how we grow spiritually in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:06:50.169 – 01:06:53.569] In the book, that is.

[01:06:53.569 – 01:06:56.009] That resentment is the number one offender.

[01:06:56.009 – 01:06:57.529] It’s common to all alcoholics.

[01:06:57.529 – 01:07:07.329] It destroys more alcoholics than anything else, and from it stems all spiritual illness.

[01:07:07.329 – 01:07:08.549] What do we mean?

[01:07:08.549 – 01:07:14.029] First we resent, then we get mad, then we get angry, then we get frustrated, then we feel sorry for ourselves.

[01:07:14.029 – 01:07:14.529] Boo!

[01:07:14.529 – 01:07:16.909] Yeah.

[01:07:16.909 – 01:07:27.549] And until we overcome the spiritual malady, only then will we straighten out mentally and physically, which means we will never

[01:07:27.609 – 01:07:30.449] overcome the spiritual malady.

[01:07:30.449 – 01:07:32.649] We grow along spiritual lines.

[01:07:32.649 – 01:07:34.229] All that’s been put in our book.

[01:07:34.229 – 01:07:35.689] Yeah.

[01:07:35.689 – 01:07:37.459] Give back to you.

[01:07:37.459 – 01:07:38.269] One day at a time.

[01:07:38.269 – 01:07:48.449] Which means that once we physically stop drinking, we’ll never activate the physical

[01:07:48.449 – 01:07:48.479] again.

[01:07:48.764 – 01:07:50.904] Will be with us the rest of our lives.

[01:07:50.904 – 01:07:51.973] Cannot be changed.

[01:07:51.973 – 01:07:55.174] That will be, but as long as we don’t drop it, we’re…

[01:07:55.174 – 01:07:57.464] So where is the problem now living sober?

[01:07:57.464 – 01:07:58.324] Up here.

[01:07:58.324 – 01:08:00.524] Up here.

[01:08:00.524 – 01:08:04.584] In our stinking thinking that leads to stinking drinking.

[01:08:04.584 – 01:08:07.124] Yeah.

[01:08:07.124 – 01:08:10.084] So what are the 12 steps all about?

[01:08:10.084 – 01:08:15.184] Living sober.

[01:08:15.184 – 01:08:22.004] But as a problem drinker, we’ve got to stop drinking alcohol physically one day.

[01:08:22.004 – 01:08:23.844] And we have to remember this now.

[01:08:23.844 – 01:08:27.084] Without physical sobriety, there is no sobriety.

[01:08:27.084 – 01:08:29.784] It is the base of all sobriety.

[01:08:29.784 – 01:08:37.544] And so it is suggested that we write this inventory.

[01:08:37.544 – 01:08:42.084] I’ve seen them on floppy disks.

[01:08:42.084 – 01:08:45.224] I’ve seen them on computer printouts.

[01:08:45.224 – 01:08:48.284] I’ve seen them on match covers.

[01:08:48.284 – 01:08:51.024] I’ve seen them on toilet tissue.

[01:08:51.024 – 01:08:55.924] Any place, it’s some of the most unusual things, you know?

[01:08:55.924 – 01:09:00.884] And I was 43 days sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:09:00.884 – 01:09:03.144] My sponsor come and got me.

[01:09:03.144 – 01:09:10.444] And he said to me, you be down at my office next Wednesday morning at 8 o’clock.

[01:09:10.444 – 01:09:11.904] I said, what for?

[01:09:11.904 – 01:09:14.444] He said, to take your fifth step.

[01:09:14.444 – 01:09:16.844] I said, I haven’t read my fourth step yet.

[01:09:16.844 – 01:09:17.784] He said, you will.

[01:09:17.784 – 01:09:21.824] And I turned to all them hermits that got sober when Coolidge was president.

[01:09:21.824 – 01:09:26.064] And I said, but they said I hadn’t been in Alcoholics Anonymous long enough.

[01:09:26.064 – 01:09:27.724] He grabbed me by my arm.

[01:09:27.724 – 01:09:29.544] He took me to the secretary’s office.

[01:09:29.544 – 01:09:31.424] We have a large group, huge group.

[01:09:31.424 – 01:09:33.404] Group I belong to has got over 2,000 members.

[01:09:33.404 – 01:09:34.944] But it wasn’t that group.

[01:09:34.944 – 01:09:35.564] It was another one.

[01:09:35.564 – 01:09:36.724] Had about 500 members.

[01:09:36.724 – 01:09:38.624] Eight secretaries.

[01:09:38.624 – 01:09:40.384] And we have our sobriety cards.

[01:09:40.384 – 01:09:42.644] And they’re alphabetically filed.

[01:09:42.644 – 01:09:46.024] Not by the first letter of your last name, but the first letter of your first name.

[01:09:46.024 – 01:09:49.824] And he said, secretary, give him his sobriety card.

[01:09:49.824 – 01:09:50.564] And he did.

[01:09:50.564 – 01:09:53.804] Then he said, give him a pencil with an eraser on it.

[01:09:53.804 – 01:09:54.964] And he did.

[01:09:54.964 – 01:09:58.044] I said, what do you want me to do with this card and this pencil?

[01:09:58.044 – 01:10:05.264] He said, you take the eraser and you erase my name at the bottom of your card as your sponsor.

[01:10:05.264 – 01:10:09.944] And put down they.

[01:10:09.944 – 01:10:13.764] I’m not going to do it.

[01:10:13.764 – 01:10:18.224] Nobody, everybody I asked to sponsor me, they said no when I got here.

[01:10:18.224 – 01:10:20.364] You’re the only one that took me on.

[01:10:20.364 – 01:10:23.144] I believe because you respected my father so much.

[01:10:23.144 – 01:10:24.564] He says, all right.

[01:10:24.564 – 01:10:34.744] If you are going to run around here, tell everybody that I’m your sponsor, you’re going to do exactly as I tell you to do or get somebody else.

[01:10:34.744 – 01:10:36.744] I said, yes, sir.

[01:10:36.744 – 01:10:40.764] Then I said, well, how do you write the fourth step?

[01:10:40.764 – 01:10:45.864] He said, I’ve been waiting two weeks for you to ask me that.

[01:10:45.864 – 01:10:56.904] You’ve been in them closed discussion meetings and you’ve been memorizing snatches from the big book, the 1212, AA Comes of Age,

[01:10:56.904 – 01:11:01.924] Ann Landers column, National Geographic.

[01:11:01.924 – 01:11:09.204] If you’ve been reading the big book, you know exactly how to write it.

[01:11:09.204 – 01:11:10.884] If it’s good enough for Bill and Dr.

[01:11:10.884 – 01:11:13.544] Bob and those boys, it’s good enough for you.

[01:11:13.544 – 01:11:16.884] I said, yes.

[01:11:16.884 – 01:11:21.864] And so I began to write.

[01:11:21.864 – 01:11:23.804] Self-pity.

[01:11:23.804 – 01:11:24.584] What’s self-pity?

[01:11:24.584 – 01:11:34.604] Where we resent the fact that once again we’re in a trap that we promised God and ourselves and everything and everybody we wasn’t going to do it again, yet

[01:11:34.604 – 01:11:36.344] we did it again and again and again and again.

[01:11:36.344 – 01:11:40.444] We resent the fact that once again we’ve let our own self down.

[01:11:40.444 – 01:11:42.884] Lack of power was our dilemma.

[01:11:42.884 – 01:11:46.044] Jealousy, intolerance.

[01:11:46.044 – 01:11:49.404] And here comes one, fear.

[01:11:49.404 – 01:11:51.804] Now, I’m going to read again from the book.

[01:11:51.804 – 01:11:54.904] It’s the finest writing of fear I’ve ever read anyplace.

[01:11:54.904 – 01:11:55.364] Fear.

[01:11:55.364 – 01:12:00.504] This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.

[01:12:00.504 – 01:12:03.764] It was an evil and corroding threat.

[01:12:03.764 – 01:12:06.704] The fabric of our existence was shot through with it.

[01:12:06.704 – 01:12:15.724] It set in motion trains of circumstances which caused us misfortune we felt we did not deserve.

[01:12:15.724 – 01:12:19.684] But did not we ourselves set the ball rolling?

[01:12:19.684 – 01:12:22.304] Sometimes we think fear.

[01:12:22.304 – 01:12:24.404] Audrey Class was stealing.

[01:12:24.404 – 01:12:26.764] It seems to cause more trouble.

[01:12:26.764 – 01:12:30.004] And then, you know, sex.

[01:12:30.004 – 01:12:37.824] Every alcoholic who comes to Alcoholics Anonymous, I don’t care how old or how young, everyone has a sex problem.

[01:12:37.824 – 01:12:41.624] Either we want to and can’t or we can’t and we want to.

[01:12:41.624 – 01:12:48.004] And that’s not going to cost you $28,000 to find that out.

[01:12:48.004 – 01:12:52.264] That’s how simple it is.

[01:12:52.264 – 01:12:52.703] Yeah.

[01:12:52.703 – 01:12:57.064] But they do put some things in there, really.

[01:12:57.064 – 01:12:59.624] They really do.

[01:12:59.624 – 01:13:02.784] And it can apply to anything in AA, you know?

[01:13:02.784 – 01:13:07.824] Because you can get way out in left field in one of these things.

[01:13:07.824 – 01:13:11.144] You one certainly can.

[01:13:11.144 – 01:13:17.224] We put each relationship to this very simple but powerful test.

[01:13:17.224 – 01:13:19.804] Was it selfish or was it not?

[01:13:19.804 – 01:13:23.144] And the answer is usually yes.

[01:13:23.144 – 01:13:24.984] Sure.

[01:13:24.984 – 01:13:27.564] Yeah.

[01:13:27.564 – 01:13:28.763] Yeah.

[01:13:28.763 – 01:13:38.764] You know, a woman, a man will promise her anything in this world.

[01:13:38.764 – 01:13:46.564] And a woman will let him hoping she’s going to get what he promises.

[01:13:46.564 – 01:13:49.934] Sure a lot of frustrated women in AA, aren’t there?

[01:13:49.934 – 01:13:51.908] Yeah.

[01:13:51.908 – 01:13:52.788] Uh-huh.

[01:13:52.788 – 01:13:55.988] That’s again is being a human being.

[01:13:55.988 – 01:13:57.848] Yeah.

[01:13:57.848 – 01:14:07.868] And so then we start to sane, uh, shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life, you

[01:14:07.868 – 01:14:08.028] know?

[01:14:08.028 – 01:14:10.968] And here’s the thing.

[01:14:10.968 – 01:14:21.008] If, if we’re sorry what we have done and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, then we

[01:14:21.008 – 01:14:25.588] in AA believe we will be forgiven, and we’ll learn our lesson.

[01:14:25.588 – 01:14:36.008] But if we’re not sorry, and our sex behavior continues to harm others, if our financial

[01:14:36.008 – 01:14:46.008] behavior continues to harm others, if our candor behavior, no matter what it is, continue to

[01:14:46.008 – 01:14:49.428] harm others, we’re quite sure to drink again.

[01:14:49.428 – 01:14:58.548] And the human being that this member of Alcoholics Anonymous can least afford to harm is David.

[01:14:58.548 – 01:15:00.528] Is David.

[01:15:00.528 – 01:15:01.168] Yeah.

[01:15:01.168 – 01:15:04.328] And so now we’ve got our…

[01:15:04.328 – 01:15:11.688] A-and I done, done wrote my inventory, and now I gotta go tell it to somebody.

[01:15:11.688 – 01:15:14.988] Now, the fourth step is not fair.

[01:15:14.988 – 01:15:18.568] You gotta write down how darn phony you are.

[01:15:18.568 – 01:15:20.688] What if somebody reads it?

[01:15:20.688 – 01:15:24.768] We’re living a lie to everybody we’re not phony.

[01:15:24.768 – 01:15:32.758] And so this brings us logically to fifth step, admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

[01:15:32.758 – 01:15:36.248] This is the first step that puts God in the first slot.

[01:15:36.248 – 01:15:46.588] Now, we’re above all else trying to establish a new attitude in a relationship with our Creator and discover the obstacle

[01:15:46.588 – 01:15:47.488] in our path.

[01:15:47.488 – 01:15:56.728] And then AA tells us if we do not take and use this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.

[01:15:56.728 – 01:16:02.067] And then being alone with God doesn’t seem as embarrassing as talking to another human being.

[01:16:02.067 – 01:16:04.108] We find the same old egoism is with us.

[01:16:04.108 – 01:16:12.828] And if we’re gonna live a reasonably comfortable, happy, and serene, sober life, the time now comes where we have to be honest with another human being.

[01:16:12.828 – 01:16:17.128] So once again, we find a logical sequence.

[01:16:17.128 – 01:16:27.028] If we’ve looked at ourselves as AA suggested we look at ourselves, and now it makes sense to do something about what we have found wrong.

[01:16:27.028 – 01:16:37.208] Now, if we’ve already taken the fourth step, we’ve already fulfilled the first and second requirements of the fifth step.

[01:16:37.208 – 01:16:43.728] So now we come to one of the oldest truths in the world, that trouble shared is a trouble cut in half.

[01:16:43.728 – 01:16:54.208] Now, to admit our wrongs to another human being may sound like an insurmountable obstacle, but actually it is really simple if we do it AA’s

[01:16:54.208 – 01:16:59.108] way and want to stay sober more than anything else in this world.

[01:16:59.108 – 01:17:04.788] Now, any member of Alcoholics Anonymous taking the fifth step in their life can usually show the w-way.

[01:17:04.788 – 01:17:11.898] Doesn’t mean that we formally sit down with someone and say, “I’ve done wrong in the following manner,” and et cetera, et cetera.

[01:17:11.898 – 01:17:14.208] Then first I’ve been this and that and that.

[01:17:14.208 – 01:17:19.128] If that were the method used, AA would not be the great recovery program and fellowship it is today.

[01:17:19.128 – 01:17:29.508] Now, the sponsor, if the sponsor has taken the fifth step in their life, one is always safe in Alcoholics Anonymous

[01:17:29.508 – 01:17:31.608] when one asks one to be their sponsor.

[01:17:31.608 – 01:17:42.068] If the one who needs a sponsor asks who he has chosen, “Tell me how you are living all 12

[01:17:42.068 – 01:17:42.728] steps.

[01:17:42.728 – 01:17:50.688] Sit down and tell me.” Yeah.

[01:17:50.688 – 01:17:59.528] Very difficult to give away something we don’t possess ourself.

[01:17:59.528 – 01:18:03.188] This is why I’m talking about opinions, not experience.

[01:18:03.188 – 01:18:11.487] Well, now, because here’s the thing.

[01:18:11.487 – 01:18:13.768] AA member will pave the way by first what?

[01:18:13.768 – 01:18:15.028] Telling his or her story.

[01:18:15.028 – 01:18:24.188] And then the newcomer is amazed at the frankness and at the ease in which the member tells of usually unmentioned escapades.

[01:18:24.188 – 01:18:29.408] How they’ll talk, some of them, how rotten they acted maybe towards their families.

[01:18:29.408 – 01:18:34.748] Or some, not all, spent a little time in jail or institutions.

[01:18:34.748 – 01:18:39.268] Of dishonesties, lies, or subterfuges, the whole sorry picture.

[01:18:39.268 – 01:18:49.288] In one or two conversations like this, the newcomer will begin to unburden himself, and things that the newcomer thought they would never tell a living soul begin to

[01:18:49.288 – 01:18:49.748] come out.

[01:18:49.748 – 01:18:58.688] And as they share these innermost secrets, their mind now becomes unburdened by the terrific weight they’ve been carrying.

[01:18:58.688 – 01:19:02.428] Or in other words, you literally get your troubles off your chest.

[01:19:02.428 – 01:19:07.468] And one of the chief reasons for drinking was to drink to forget.

[01:19:07.468 – 01:19:12.488] And it starts to begin to disappear.

[01:19:12.488 – 01:19:19.108] And it is this point that real sobriety begins.

[01:19:19.108 – 01:19:29.148] I firmly believe that no alcoholic can be safe unless we have unburdened

[01:19:29.148 – 01:19:29.788] ourselves.

[01:19:29.788 – 01:19:33.848] And then once we do, we feel that we belong.

[01:19:33.848 – 01:19:37.628] You betcha.

[01:19:37.628 – 01:19:47.628] And begin to chair a meeting, begin to talk a little bit, and they now feel they’re becoming a full-fledged member because this

[01:19:47.628 – 01:19:51.728] is the first step in our book into action.

[01:19:51.728 – 01:19:53.928] Into action.

[01:19:53.928 – 01:19:58.568] Now, I told you I was forty-three days sober.

[01:19:58.568 – 01:20:08.678] My sponsor said, “You be down there the next Wednesday.” I’m fifty-one days sober

[01:20:08.678 – 01:20:09.738] in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:20:09.738 – 01:20:12.278] I go down there.

[01:20:12.278 – 01:20:22.278] He says to me, “Have you taken the first two parts of the fifth step before you’ve gotten down here?” And, and he knew that

[01:20:22.278 – 01:20:25.158] I wasn’t experienced enough to know what he was talking about.

[01:20:25.158 – 01:20:35.158] He knew that I didn’t know that I’d already admitted to God in the third step and to myself in the fourth step, and I’m gonna come down to him in the fifth

[01:20:35.158 – 01:20:35.478] step.

[01:20:35.478 – 01:20:36.458] He knew that.

[01:20:36.458 – 01:20:46.638] Then he says to me, “You’re gonna do it.” I said, “What are you talking about?” “You’re gonna do it.” He said, “Now, you go into the men’s room

[01:20:46.638 – 01:20:47.678] and you lock the door.

[01:20:47.678 – 01:20:51.318] And then you go into the commode and lock the door to the commode.

[01:20:51.318 – 01:20:56.658] Get between the commode and the wall, look up at the ceiling, admit the exact nature of your wrongs to God.

[01:20:56.658 – 01:21:04.358] And then come back and come to the sink, and right above the sink there’s a mirror, admit the exact nature of your wrongs to you.

[01:21:04.358 – 01:21:11.298] Then unlock the door to the men’s room, come in there, and tell it to me.” And I thought, “He’s nuts.” Gone.

[01:21:11.298 – 01:21:12.478] I get there.

[01:21:12.478 – 01:21:17.878] He said, “Now, don’t you stay in that men’s room three days telling God who, when, for how much, and for how long.

[01:21:17.878 – 01:21:26.338] You tell God what your defects of character have done to your life that you wrote, if you wrote…

[01:21:26.338 – 01:21:29.858] I haven’t seen your fourth step, but I’m fixing to find out if you wrote it.

[01:21:29.858 – 01:21:34.658] The effects of what your defect carried it, not while you’re drinking.

[01:21:34.658 – 01:21:44.818] Because if you don’t do anything now while you’re not drinking, they’re gonna drive you right back to that bottle, and you’ll have no mental

[01:21:44.818 – 01:21:52.398] defense against that first drink, period, because your mind is unmanageable.

[01:21:52.398 – 01:21:59.218] That’s where your thinking is.” Well, I went in the men’s room, locked the door.

[01:21:59.218 – 01:22:02.878] Went in the commode, felt like a fool.

[01:22:02.878 – 01:22:04.258] It’s just a one-holer.

[01:22:04.258 – 01:22:04.958] Who’s gonna be in there?

[01:22:04.958 – 01:22:06.598] But I was afraid not to do what he told me.

[01:22:06.598 – 01:22:10.338] He’s liable to have a hole in the ceiling and be up there peeking through, see if I’m doing it.

[01:22:10.338 – 01:22:13.188] So I get between the commode and I look up.

[01:22:13.188 – 01:22:15.398] I admit the exact nature of my wrongs to me.

[01:22:15.398 – 01:22:21.278] Unlock the commode, come around the sink, look in the mirror, admit the exact nature of my wrongs to me, and guess what?

[01:22:21.278 – 01:22:24.798] I caught me not telling me what I told God in the corner.

[01:22:24.798 – 01:22:28.118] I said, “Well, I’ve tell God one thing, me one thing.

[01:22:28.118 – 01:22:33.118] What am I gonna tell him?” So I run back in the commode and did it over again.

[01:22:33.118 – 01:22:36.398] Come back to the sink, and it sounded about the same.

[01:22:36.398 – 01:22:39.457] Before I could change it, I unlocked the door, ran in there.

[01:22:39.457 – 01:22:43.158] He said, “Are you ready?” I said, “I’m ready.” Told the secretary to cut the cars off.

[01:22:43.158 – 01:22:53.478] Then he said to me, “How many times did you go in the corner?” I said, “Two times.” He says, “I went three.” He said, “Now, I didn’t tell you to do that because

[01:22:53.478 – 01:22:54.538] my sponsor did it to me.

[01:22:54.538 – 01:23:03.438] David, the reason I told you to do that is you go around here and you tell this one a part of your rotten story, and that one a part of your rotten story, and that one a part of your rotten story.

[01:23:03.438 – 01:23:05.698] That’s what you call spreading the dirty linen.

[01:23:05.698 – 01:23:08.298] That’s what you call spreading the disease.

[01:23:08.298 – 01:23:16.748] And then you’re liable to run into somebody that said, ‘Ah, David, I don’t even believe you’re that bad,’ and then you’re liable to run into somebody that, ‘David, I don’t even believe you’re an alcoholic.’ Well, God’s here.

[01:23:16.748 – 01:23:17.238] You’re here.

[01:23:17.238 – 01:23:17.558] I’m here.

[01:23:17.558 – 01:23:20.058] Let’s get with it.” And it did.

[01:23:20.058 – 01:23:30.158] When he got through, he said, “How do you feel?” I said, “I feel better than I ever have in my

[01:23:30.158 – 01:23:30.358] life.

[01:23:30.358 – 01:23:40.398] It’s the first time that I ever told another human being without fear or

[01:23:40.398 – 01:23:48.778] shame or guilt.” And folks, some of the things that I did was not, not nice.

[01:23:48.778 – 01:23:51.998] I’m talking about manslaughter.

[01:23:51.998 – 01:23:54.798] I’m talking about things like that.

[01:23:54.798 – 01:23:57.238] Well…

[01:23:57.238 – 01:24:04.098] and I says, “You know, you laughed with me.

[01:24:04.098 – 01:24:05.858] You cried with me.

[01:24:05.858 – 01:24:14.818] You didn’t pick up the phone and call the police and say, ‘I’ve got him.’ You didn’t call somebody to come get me with a butterfly net.

[01:24:14.818 – 01:24:17.018] You nodded your head.

[01:24:17.018 – 01:24:23.318] You understand.” And then he said to me, “Well, what are you gonna do about it?

[01:24:23.318 – 01:24:25.518] All you’ve done is talk about it.

[01:24:25.518 – 01:24:33.478] When you leave here, the effects of, of your life and everything you talk about is going with you out the door.

[01:24:33.478 – 01:24:38.358] What are you gonna do with it?” I said, “That’s what I have you for, a sponsor.” This is what I meant a while ago.

[01:24:38.358 – 01:24:40.318] He said, “I’ll tell you what you do.

[01:24:40.318 – 01:24:41.808] You go home.

[01:24:41.808 – 01:24:44.418] You get the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:24:44.418 – 01:24:53.478] You get the book of Alcoholics Anonymous and you turn to the last paragraph of the fifth step in the sixth chapter.

[01:24:53.478 – 01:24:56.038] Do exactly what it says.

[01:24:56.038 – 01:24:58.278] Then turn the page.

[01:24:58.278 – 01:25:08.418] Read the next two short paragraphs, and if it takes you more than 10 minutes to take steps

[01:25:08.418 – 01:25:17.118] six and seven, you ain’t ready to let AA, which is nothing more than God, is gonna do for you what you can’t do for yourself.

[01:25:17.118 – 01:25:22.398] You still wanna play games.” Now, he said, “We’re talking about living and we’re dying.

[01:25:22.398 – 01:25:31.258] To drink is, is to die, and to stay sober is to live.” And so I start going out the door.

[01:25:31.258 – 01:25:32.398] He comes, asks me again.

[01:25:32.398 – 01:25:36.318] He said, “Now, you be back down there next Wednesday at eight o’clock.” I says, “What for?

[01:25:36.318 – 01:25:39.118] To take the fifth step over?” He says, “No.

[01:25:39.118 – 01:25:40.938] No.

[01:25:40.938 – 01:25:51.118] With your eighth step list.” Now, I’ll tell you, if you’ve got a sponsor like that in Alcoholics Anonymous, feed them, fan them, pray

[01:25:51.118 – 01:25:53.478] they don’t die prematurely or get drunk.

[01:25:53.478 – 01:25:56.078] It’ll be the greatest experience you ever had in your life.

[01:25:56.078 – 01:25:57.878] Yeah.

[01:25:57.878 – 01:26:00.798] He cared that much about me.

[01:26:00.798 – 01:26:02.658] I went home.

[01:26:02.658 – 01:26:05.148] I got my big book down.

[01:26:05.148 – 01:26:10.810] This is the one step tells us exactly what to do after we’ve talked to another human being.

[01:26:10.810 – 01:26:12.530] Yeah.

[01:26:12.530 – 01:26:19.450] And it said, returning home, we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done.

[01:26:19.450 – 01:26:23.690] We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know him better.

[01:26:23.690 – 01:26:28.670] Remember I said we’re above all else trying to establish a new attitude and a new relationship with our creator?

[01:26:28.670 – 01:26:37.590] How many have come to AA raised in some sort of belief that God is a punishing God?

[01:26:37.590 – 01:26:40.610] I told him all these ugly things.

[01:26:40.610 – 01:26:43.270] God didn’t come down and smoke me with lightning.

[01:26:43.270 – 01:26:47.410] I found out something.

[01:26:47.410 – 01:26:51.389] That God was working through my sponsor.

[01:26:51.389 – 01:26:58.650] And the only reason he was there was for his sobriety.

[01:26:58.650 – 01:27:01.730] And the next reason he was there for my welfare.

[01:27:01.730 – 01:27:04.990] Unselfish.

[01:27:04.990 – 01:27:09.090] A tremendous busybody.

[01:27:09.090 – 01:27:14.450] Yeah.

[01:27:14.450 – 01:27:15.370] That I know him better.

[01:27:15.370 – 01:27:18.970] And how did I begin to know God better?

[01:27:18.970 – 01:27:22.270] You need to change the tape?

[01:27:22.270 – 01:27:25.720] Ask him.

[01:27:25.720 – 01:27:28.350] Yeah, it’s about that.

[01:27:28.350 – 01:27:30.270] Huh?

[01:27:30.270 – 01:27:31.350] Four minutes?

[01:27:31.350 – 01:27:34.130] All right.

[01:27:34.130 – 01:27:39.370] And so, and I found out how to understand God through you people.

[01:27:39.370 – 01:27:42.930] You had the experience.

[01:27:42.930 – 01:27:43.890] Yeah.

[01:27:43.890 – 01:27:45.150] It’s through people.

[01:27:45.150 – 01:27:46.670] Through people.

[01:27:46.670 – 01:27:56.590] And so it says, taking the book down from the shelf, we turn to the pages containing the 12 steps.

[01:27:56.590 – 01:28:01.180] Carefully reading the first five proposals, we ask ourselves, have we omitted anything?

[01:28:01.180 – 01:28:06.010] For we are building an ark through which we shall walk a free man at last.

[01:28:06.010 – 01:28:10.610] Now, it helps if you’re not drinking alcohol when you take the fifth step in Alcoholics Anonymous.

[01:28:10.610 – 01:28:13.510] But building an ark to be what?

[01:28:13.510 – 01:28:17.670] Free of our own stinking selves.

[01:28:17.670 – 01:28:19.950] This is what we’re doing.

[01:28:19.950 – 01:28:22.990] Then we ask, is our work solid so far?

[01:28:22.990 – 01:28:26.110] Are the stones properly in place?

[01:28:26.110 – 01:28:29.170] Have we skimped on the cement put in the foundation?

[01:28:29.170 – 01:28:31.790] Have we tried to make mortar without sand?

[01:28:31.790 – 01:28:35.770] If we can answer to our satisfaction, then we can look at step six.

[01:28:35.770 – 01:28:41.190] Step six, we’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

[01:28:41.190 – 01:28:49.850] I wonder how many in AA, when they read the steps, look at it, realize that the sixth step is the only step of the 12 that’s in the present tense.

[01:28:49.850 – 01:28:54.190] Which means we do it every day.

[01:28:54.190 – 01:28:58.870] These defects of character, not those, but these.

[01:28:58.870 – 01:29:01.650] Now, what is the sixth step?

[01:29:01.650 – 01:29:04.890] Quality of our willingness.

[01:29:04.890 – 01:29:09.670] Are we now willing to let God remove from us all the things that we have found that are objectionable?

[01:29:09.670 – 01:29:11.770] Can he take them all?

[01:29:11.770 – 01:29:18.810] If we still cling and hold on to something and will not let go, we simply ask him to make us willing to let go.

[01:29:18.810 – 01:29:22.610] There isn’t one of us in this meeting right this very second, right here.

[01:29:22.610 – 01:29:28.790] Every one of us know what we still cling to and won’t quite let go.

[01:29:28.790 – 01:29:37.610] It’ll be the only thing that causes lack of peace of mind on any one given day and serenity.

[01:29:37.610 – 01:29:40.990] So it’s a quality of our willingness.

[01:29:40.990 – 01:29:50.990] Now, before I come to you people, I would pray, God, get me out of this

[01:29:50.990 – 01:29:53.450] jam and I promise you I’ll never do it again.

[01:29:53.450 – 01:30:00.070] But never did I say, God, get me out of this jam, but please show me a way to stay out of this jam.

[01:30:00.070 – 01:30:01.410] I never did that.

[01:30:01.410 – 01:30:04.130] The seventh step is the way.

[01:30:04.130 – 01:30:07.170] Humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings.

[01:30:07.170 – 01:30:17.190] When we’re ready to let God do it to and with and for us and maintain sanity that we don’t want to live the way we used

[01:30:17.190 – 01:30:24.130] to live, but we’re condemned to live the way we used to live unless we don’t go on to get

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