I won't go into our speaker's background. I'll leave that for him. He comes to us well-recommended. He's the only one I know of that has quilted half the state of Texas. He's the only one I know of that puts three cups in bras. If he isn't careful when he puts on his glasses, he's mistaken for LBJ. And then he's in real trouble. And as the title of his talk tonight, he's the only man I know of that has ever hidden a complete train. I give you Joe Leath from Tyler, Texas. Thank you. Mr. Chairman, Bill and Lois, other distinguished guests, you drunken doctors, my name is Joe and I'm an ambulatory schizophrenic, a wino, and a goofball addict. And by the grace of a merciful God and the facility of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been sober one day in 16 years. I had a birthday yesterday. When Don asked me to come up here and share this meeting, this erudite and learned group, I was somewhat reluctant. I had great apprehensions. I thought that you'd be a bunch of high-bottomed snobs. And the longer I've been here, the more relaxed I have become. I discovered that one of you came a week early and demanded to have this convention. I ran into another one in the restroom who had lost his coloring crayons. Two red ones, a pink one, and a blue one, as you see. You've got a drunken dentist with a pocket knife handling the sound effects. And I have just been delivered to you by an old bee. Now, I'm not going to apologize for this program. If I ever had any dignity, I am now bereft of it. I called Don, he sent me a preliminary on the program, and I called him long distance and said, my God, take it off of there. And I don't know what he grunted. I told him I'd rather talk about anything else, maybe the synergism syndrome or the mating habits of the mongoose. But I got a note yesterday in the mail and it said it stays, so I'm stuck with it. Not very dignified. Neither was I when I drank. Seriously? There was a wise old doctor who said one time that at every juncture in history, when there comes a need for a great man, he is furnished. And in the…