time and I made a call to the local AA teen years. My friend suggested that I hotline. Two members came out on a might want to try Narcotics Anony- Twelfth Step call and I shared with mous. I laughed it off and continued them that I thought I had a problem using for several more years. with ‘alcohol. They asked me how Four years ago last August I finally much I drank and I told them. I re- hit my bottom. 1 was suicidal and my member them saying that there was life was a mess. I realized I was going by a member no way I could have a problem if that to die if I didn’t d o something soon: I of Narcotics Anonymous was all I drank. The quantities were did not want to die. I remembered my so small by their standards that they friend’s suggestion and attended my Ypsilanti, Michigan could not identify with me. Eventual- first NA meeting. I knew I was in the There are many ing difficulty identifying with mem- ly I got to my first Alcoholics Anony- right place. I was able to identify. I men and women bers of the local Fellowship. He could mous meeting. I sat at a table and stopped using, went to meetings every in my area who not relate to the sharing he heard listened to stories of alcohol con- day, and gradually built a recovery. are literally drink- about their drug use. sumption that I could hardly conceive Today I have a life worth living and ing themselves to He brought an important issue into of. I could not identify with those four years clean. I still attend meetdeath. Some will focus. In Alcoholics Anonymous the members who shared their drinking ings and I am involved in Narcotics never get to their first Alcoholics Fifth Tradition reads, “Each group experience. Anonymous service work. I want to Anonymous meeting. Some.of those has but one primary purpose – t o A few years later, a friend of mine help offer the still-suffering addict who d o attend will not find the identi- carry its message to the alcoholic who got involved in AA. This man’could what I was so freely given. ‘ fication needed to stick around. still suffers.” The still-suffering must drink. He lost jobs. He wrecked cars. The still-suffering alcoholic I spoke I talk to still-suffering alcoholics first identify with the members of the He got arrested. He was out of con- to the other day is drinking himself to five days a week. I am not an alco- group in order to receive that mes- trol. He was my best friend. I don’t death. I want for him what I finally holic, but my job involves interview- sage. I could understand .the diffi- recall what motivated him to attend found -identification. I want him to ing individuals charged with drink- culty he was having, because I too AA but he began to go to meetings. I feel that he has finally come home ing/driving offenses. Recently I have experienced problems with iden- went along to a few and I would tell when he attends an AA meeting, to spoke to a client who told me he had a tification. him after the meeting that I didn’t feel that he is among men and women desire to stop drinking and had been I had my first contact with AA in feel that I belonged. I didn’t feel I was who can identify with what he has exattending AA meetings, but was hav- 1974. I was going through a difficult in the right place. perienced, and with whom he can Of course I wasn’t in the right place. identify. There is something funda- I was unable to relate to the drinking mentally wrong when a man like this behavior of those at the meetings, but cannot identify with the members of perhaps more importantly, I could an AA group. The problem is clear, not relate to the focus on alcohol. but the solution is elusive. It is elu- Alcohol had not been the drug of my sive because the solution lies with choice; alcohol was the drug I used to each individual member of the group. enhance the effects of drugs I really Ignoring the Fifth Tradition results in liked. Since my early teens, I used a people dying. variety of hallucinogens, depressants, To talk about shooting heroin in and stimulants. I smoked marijuana the groin or smoking cocaine, when almost every day and all day for fif- sharing at an AA meeting, is like say-

ing alcoholics. I know there is an ongoing debate 1 ‘ing honestly is critically important to are many who will not find recovery. about who should be allowed to attend closed AA meetings. In my work the recovery process. But there are Many will die. But each member can I refer only those who express a de- words better left unsaid and stories help assure that when newcomers arbetter left untold, if we are intent on rive at their first meeting, they will sire to stop drinking to closed meetthese h y s that ings of AA and I refer those with truly w ~ n g the still-suffering. There know they are in the right place. there is no one hj? other drug problems to NA or another fellowship. I try to refer people who can be desmibed to the fellowship in which they are most likely to find identification with as only haviqg others and are least likely to interfere with the identification of others ata problem with tending. Of course, where they choose to build their recovery is ultimately alcohol, and not their choice, not mine. I believe that wherever you find identification is where you should work on building your recovery. We ing to the newcomer, “Why don’t owe it tg the still-suffering to avoid you go away and die.” To introduce robbing them of an opportunity to yourself as a “dope fiend” or “ad- identify. dict” at an AA meeting is like say- The ability of both the AA and NA ing to the alcoholic attending his or Fellowships to help the newcomer her first meeting, “You are in the isn’t served when members choose to wrong place.” identify themselves as someone There is an assumption made these unique, discuss topics inappropriate days that there is no one left who can to the setting, quote from outside litbe described as only having a prob- erature, or use language inconsistent lem with alcohol, and not a variety of with our individual programs. Every drugs. From my experienceinterview- anonymous fellowship is a unique feling drunk drivers I can say with confi- lowship, existing to serve a particular dence that there are a lot of people group of still-suffering individuals. It who fit that description. These people is my hope that each of us who has redo exist and in large numbers. They ceived the gift of recovery will open would not know cocaine from butane our eyes to ways we can better serve and a lot of them tell me they are the newcomer. afraid of needles when I ask about We are familiar with the imporheroin use. These are the people that tance of sharing our experience. Shar- Alcoholics Anonymous exists to serve. They are certainly still-suffer-