November 1967

PRESCRlPTlON FOR LOVE by Oscar London

w HEN I met Linda, I was taking meprobamate, one tablet before each meal and two at bedtime. By coincidence, she was also on resort doctor placed us on an elixir of terpin hydrate compound, one teaspoon every four hours, as indicated, for cough. It was great tranquilizers, one tablet before each sitting around the fire in the lodge, meal and two at bedtime. On our sipping our terpin hydrate and first date, we fell calmly in love. dreaming our little dreams. Before long, I was down to one At Christmas, we exchanged pilltablet twice daily, and she only had boxes. We announced our engageto take a half-tablet every now and ment in February. Two days before then, as needed, for relaxation. the wedding, she got into a terrible When our romance grew more argument with her mother over the feverish, I began taking a multi- invitation list and broke out in the vitamin capsule once daily before worst case of hives her doctor had breakfast, and she went back on ever seen. He prescribed an antitranquilizers, one tablet before each histamine capsule every eight hours meal and two at bedtime. and renewed her tranquilizer pre- Every Friday and Saturday night, scription, one tablet before each I wined her and dined her. After a meal and two at bedtime. The next few weeks, she grew chubby, and day, she disappeared. my ulcer flared up. She began taking I received a postcard from her a an appetite suppressant, one capsule week later stating that she had daily on arising, and I started taking eloped with her pharmacist. an antacid gel, two tablespoons one hour after each meal and at bed- I am presently taking an antidetime. pressant, two tablets before each On a skiing weekend, we both meal and three at bedtime. So far, Copyright Look; reprinted with caught deep chest colds, and the they haven’t worked. the permission of the outhor.