December 1977

What AA Meetings Taught a Non-AA Counselor Personal growth and help for clients by Lee A. Grutchfield, M.Ed. comefrom participating in the A A experience

I N LATE 1971,while 1 was working in the Air Force’s drug abuse program, it became apparent that I became more than an academic interest. An AA friend in Colorado put it verbally-and with real feeling. Sure, the intellectual grasp is important, but how much more real emotive therapy, and other techniques. I swear to God, after that kind of exposure (which has certainneeded to learn more about our in perspective for me when he said, and meaningful it becomes when ly been good and worthwhile), I I, number one drug of abuse, alcohol, “Lee, what you have discovered is vicariously experienced at the emo- have learned more about alcoholism and dependency on it, alcoholism. your common humanity with the al- tional level. It’s the next “best” -its treatment and mistreatment, A friend suggested open AA meet- coholic. There’s probably no more thing to having been there myself. and the ways it affects people and ings as a source of education. 1 at- alcoholic in you than in anyone else; It helps my credibility, too, with families-at open meetings of AA tended my first meeting shortly but you’ve learned that between you those people who are inclined to and Al-Anon. And it’s free! And thereafter and have continued to go and the alcoholic, there are more say, “How can you help me? You’ve it’s in my own community, wherever ever since. These are some measur- similarities than differences.” Dis- never been there.” Willingness to I am. able benefits 1 have derived: covering and exploring our common vicariously share and to respect the Experience love and fellowship: T o Discovering our common humanity: characteristics, strong and weak, validity of their experiences has me, an ongoing relationship with From the first meeting I felt a sense have been good for me and for my helped earn me the title of “honor- AA is an ongoing exposure to love of identity with many of the speakers relationships with clients. ary alcoholic” from my AA friends and warm fellowship. Now I guess I heard. I began to say then, and The vicarious experiencing of alco- -a title I am proud to have. I can grasp that intellectually and have said many times thereafter, holism: I’ve never experienced alco- Free educalion: I have attended al- have it in mind when I refer some- “I’ve never had any serious prob- holism. Is my best bet to try to ex- coholism schools at universities in one to AA. But that sure ain’t no lems related to alcohol, but there’s perience it intellectually through Utah, Colorado, and Oklahoma substitute for walking in the door of a lot of alcoholic in me.” 1 said books, workshops, and seminars? 1 and several others with National the Saturday-night open meeting of that because the alcoholics’ con- think not! 1 have found that the best Council on Alcoholism groups, and the East Side Group in Panama cerns with ego, anger, frustration, way I can approximate the visceral have heard therapists espouse the City, Fla., and having Dot S., a manipulation, and fears of inade- experience, the despair, jubilation, application of transactional analysis, loving Al-Anon, hug me and make quacy sounded a lot like mine. madness, and agony, is to be with Gestalt therapy, behavior modifi- me feel welcome. Or to have Curly Hearing how they dealt with them people who relive their experience cation, reality therapy, rational D., an AA, take my hand in his

burly paw and say, “Good to see you,” and mean it. There’s a feeling there that transcends learning. And “My hope is that others in the field. ..enjoy the same closeness to AA. ” I believe that if you don’t know dentists, the clergymen, the lawyers, First-name friendships: Ongoing If ever I had the point driven the feeling, you don’t know the the working women, the house- contact with AA brings me a degree home that there’s no such thing as a program. wives, who have experienced the of acceptance in the community of “typical” alcoholic, it was in ob- Professional sustenance: Working devastation of alcoholism just as recovered alcoholics. I buy my gas serving the milling throng of apwith alcoholics in the depths of their deeply as have our agency clients. from one AA member and have my proximately 20,000 at the AA Inillness is a discouraging business, Source of material: As a public edu- dental work done by another, and I ternational Convention in Denver, and if all I ever saw were sick al- cator, I’m always on the alert for have numerous contacts with AAs in 1975. I saw men and women of coholics, it would be devastating. entertaining jokes and stories. At and Al-Anons outside of meetings. every racial and ethnic group, of (Note the dropout rate among pro- AA meetings, I have heard enough We know each other because of our every occupational and economic fessionals in the field.) By attending stories to fill a large book. Un- common interest in attending meet- classification, and of all ages. God, AA meetings, I can associate with fortunately, I wasn’t taking notes. ings. We are on a first-name basis what a blessing to be exposed to that well alcoholics, and that sustains me However, I can remember enough and do a great deal of cross referring. reality! in dealing with the sick alcoholic. material to include anecdotes and I receive’much more than I give, Uncover my real feelings: By attend- Hearing their stories, knowing how jokes in my presentations, to liven but 1 sometimes have an opportu- ing AA meetings, I am able to get it was for them, enables me to see them up. Nearly all have been “bor- nity to be helpful. I may be asked to in touch with my real feelings about the potential for recovery in others. rowed” from AA speakers who , cite a source of help for a young- alcoholics. If, for example, I avoid As I have often said, “Seeing you were introducing some levity into ster who’s into drugs, or offer bud- AA and alcoholics because I’m sober and envisioning your sickness their stories. Finding humor at AA get counseling for the indebted, or afraid I might be considered one of enables me to see the sickness in the meetings surprised me initially. provide the name of a good thera- them, am I not revealing my belief drinking alcoholic and envision his Now, 1 find it an ongoing delight. pist for someone sober but troubled. that alcoholism is a shameful consobriety.” That gives me strength. Twelfth Step referrals: A major Similarly, 1 get recommendations dition? By refusing or avoiding con- Increased exposure: Many of the benefit of being closely in contact and guidance from my AA and Al- tact with those who call themselves clients of our agencies are the poor- with AA people is personally know- Anon friends. recovering alcoholics, am I not conly paid, the powerless, and the poor- ing the stories of well alcoholics. By Avoid stereotyping: 1 don’t know veying my doubts about prospects ly educated. If those were the only knowing what it was like, what hap- about others, but I tend to general- for recovery? By avoiding alcoholics alcoholics I saw, I’d get a distorted pened, and what it’s like now with ize when 1 deal with large numbers. outside the treatment situation, am view of the cross section of human- them, I can better decide whom to When 1 do that with people, that’s I not transmitting the message “I’m ity that is affected by this disease. call when a client wants to talk with stereotyping. When 1 stereotype, I okay, and you’re not okay”? And By attending open AA meetings, I someone “who’s been there.” What lose sight of the dignity and individ- what does that say about my at- ‘ become exposed to the case histories a joy (and relief) it is to discover uality of the person I’m dealing with. titudes? of the business person, the society where my client is at and to say, By frequently attending AA and Al- 1 hasten to say it’s no great sin matron, the professional person, the “Would you like to talk to some- Anon meetings, 1 am reminded of to have such attitudes; they come toplevel military officer, the rich as one who’s been where you are now the many faces of alcoholism and with the society in which we live. well as the poor, the highly edu- and was able to do something about the many ways it is experienced by But for heaven’s sake, if I’m going cated as well as the illiterate, and 1 it?”-and to have a specific some- alcoholics and their families. With to work with alcoholics and their experience a more realistic sampling. one in mind. “Selective referral,” that reminder, I am more able to families, I must recognize them and If not for bpen AA meetings, I I call it, and it beats the hell out of be human with my client and to deal work on changing them. T o work in wouldn’t have met the pilots, the guesswork. with the person, not the label. the field and not do so breeds de-

pression, discouragement, ulcers, the Steps. If I allow myself to try to resentments, and a short, unhappy find a God of my own understandcareer marked by little success. 1 ing, or to make a searching and must get in touch with all my nega- fearless moral inventory, or to adtive feelings and deal with them, for mit to God, to myself, and to my sake as well as my clients’. another human being the exact Personal growth: Since 1 invest my nature of my wrongs, or to become time in attending open meetings of ready to have God remove all my AA and Al-Anon, 1 may as well get defects of character, am I not on something for myself. 1 have dis- common ground with the recovercovered there’s a lot to be gained ing alcoholic? By bringing my exby trying to incorporate the Twelve perience closer to his, am I not shar- Steps of those programs into my life. ing my humanity as well as my pro- The soundness of the Steps is dem- fessional capabilities? And does that onstrated by the growth of the Fel- not contribute to the growth of both lowship over the past forty-two of us? l think so. years and also by the adoption of Source of ideas and speakers: In the Steps by other self-help groups my job, I run group counseling such as Gamblers Anonymous, Par- sessions. I find AA open meetings to ents Anonymous, and Neurotics be a rich source of ideas, topics, Anonymous. and guest speakers for my groups . 1 have discovered that by working and classes. By attending many the Twelve Steps in my life and by meetings at many different groups, I taking what 1 want from the meet- get stimulating ideas from people ings I attend, 1 grow personally as who share their experiences as they well as professionally. Also, 1 have carry the message. been able to make contact with my My hope is that others in the field spiritual self, something that had of alcoholism education or rehabilieluded me prior to my AA relation- tation enjoy the same closeness to ship. AA. It has helped me, I’ve always Common bond: By bringing the been made welcome. Attending has Twelve Steps, the Serenity Prayer, contributed to my knowledge and and other AA tools into my life, I growth. I’m confident that if others have reached a common ground in the professions caring for alcowith the recovering alcoholic. We holics allow themselves the experidon’t have the commonality of the ence, the same will happen. For alcoholic experience, but we can those who don’t, may 1 recommend have a common bond in working the Serenity Prayer? It will help!