February 1946

FROM THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN (How do we look to total strangers, to I have been very definitely and humor, and his warmth, and I began people who have never suffered personally from instructed by Mr. D., not to indulge in any really to understand what might have pangs of alcoholism, or who have never lived near “laudatory exegesis,” but, working with enough to an alky to know how violently it can been, had he not grasped the A.A. life effect life? Here’s one answer to that question, him as I do, I’ve gotten kind of used to line. penned by the secretary of John D. of Manhattan, his brusque, business mariner, and I I want to make it very clear that I who attended a meeting led by her boss at his couldn’t help noticing how he bloomed, did not attend the meeting as a invitation, so that she might see at first hand the as soon as he hit the door of the “sightseer” or to be “amused,” but, even people and he work that makes up his extracurricular interests.) cafeteria….he glowed with pleasure at all if I had, I should have realized, as must of his friends, and, somehow his manner anyone, before any time had passed at Some months before I became realized. all, that there is a way of life which associated with Mr. D., I had read a Mr. D. spoke generally about his anyonecan practice to his profit… it does number of articles and editorials early experiences with alcohol, during the not take an A.A. to practice the principles applauding the work of A.A. but I never occupation period in Europe after the last of the 24-hour program; and certainly really understoodwhat “alcoholic” meant, war, then during his college and post- both A.A.s and non-A.A.s need a until Mr. D. put me right. Now I think I graduate periods, and, finally, of his practical relationship with God. I had know, as well as any non-alcoholic can, really serious trouble in the roaring been assured, when I started for the just what a disease is alcoholism. Since thirties (by “serious trouble,” I mean that meeting, that I was not going to hear a starting to work for Mr. D., observing his he himself then realized that he had a lot of “God stuff;” but I had qualms, activity and absorption in the program, I drinking problem). He has the faculty of nevertheless, about this “religious have wanted to attend a meeting, so making his escapades extremely business.” There isn’t an A.A. in the when the invitation was extended nothing amusing, but, all the while, his listener is world who is fussier than I about his could have kept me away. aware that he is listening to a serious religious affiliations, and I have yet to I may as well start at the beginning. After man, who is not making light of a serious meet a friendlier, more practical, or a good dinner (at very small cost) in the matter. He made me understand what is easier-to-know God than I met .at the club cafeteria, Mr. D. introduced me to meant by “remorse,” as it applies to A.A. meeting. Charlie H., the third several of his friends, all of whom alcoholism, and, on the whole, I got a speaker on Mr. D.s program, introduced seemed glad to have me present – and picture of how A.A. helped him, where me to this God, and I want, somehow, to this impressed me, for it seemed to me other methods failed. I somehow felt, get to know him better. I recalled that I should probably not have felt the listening to Mr. D., that here was another particularly that, when my father and I same if positions were reversed. side to his personality, and I felt very read Douglas’ MagnificentObsession, we Personally, from what I’ve seen, I think deeply his honesty and sincerity, and his were so fascinated by his suggested A.A. puts up with an awful lot from a very earnest wish to make the program philosophy that we spent our evenings bunch of “holier-than-thou” non-alcoholics work for others as it had for him. I knew, reading and studying the Bible until we who simply do not know what its all too, from what he told the meeting, and found the passage which formed the about ….and I think the injection of a little from little things he’s said to me from subject for the book. All this made A.A. philosophy into all of us would help time to time, that A.A. was responsible Charlie’s talk just so much easier for me a great deal. for the blossoming of his friendliness, to appreciate, and A.A. – always allowing

for personal opinions and individual Ed S. helped a lot to make me understandings and my very limited understand what A.A. means, and he knowledge – it seems to me, elaborates showed me a man who had learned, the on Douglas’ theory and improves it. I like hard way, to laugh at himself (and enjoy the thought, “Do unto others as I have it as much as the other fellow) and, by done to you” a little better than, “Do laughing, to conquer his own particular unto others as you would have them do devil. I admired his sincerity and unto you;” I think it fits in a little better unselfconsciousness, and his humility. It’s with “You must not give it back, for I pretty hard to be humble, but, from what have used it all up.” And I like the 24- I saw, A.A.s humility is not craven, it’s a hour principle….as I listened to Charlie, I proud humility; for a while it recognizes realized that too much of my life has that each individual is only a small been spent worrying about what’s going segment of an enormous pie, still it is to happen tomorrow and the day after, aware that the pie is only as good as and I made a resolution to follow the each of its ingredients. And so I bumped precept “Let this be a good day, and into self-examination again, and found it tomorrow will be a better one.” good. I can not possibly cover all that I I don’t want to say much more have in my mind to reflect on: what I about Bill than that I’m not surprised to want to make clear is that I benefitted in find that he is one of the founder of .A.A. no small degree by something every one It seemed to me, as I listened to him, of the speakers had to say…and that that the word Mr. 0.used in introducing somewhat surprised me at the time, but him – “modest” – was the only one which it doesn’t any more; I suppose I had the really described him: And, here again, I usual erroneous impression that the think that a fellow who needed a friendly program (as I understand it) couldn’t hand, and wise counsel, whether he possibly be of any use to anyone but an suffered from alcoholism or not, could be alcoholic; I do think that a good many of sure of truly sympathetic understanding its phases, now that I know a little more and the right answer if he just asked Bill about it, would be no end useful to all of about it. us….and I’m speaking of the practical, as I went home feeling quite certain well as the spiritual side of the program. that I’d made a lot of new friends who As Marty M. spoke, I wondered if, had shared with me an unforgettable perhaps, I were not an alcoholic at heart, evening, and permitted me to take if not in fact, because almost everything something of each of them home with she said hit me right between the eyes. me……and all I want to know is” “Please She it was who really made me may I come again?” – Jessica Bove, New understand what made an “alcoholic” Yon% tick…..she it was who told me why alcoholism is, in fact, a disease and not a habit.