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A long-time Alcoholic: “Are you an alcoholic, chaplain?” (Asked much as if he (nonalcoholic) friend were asking whether I am a member of the country club, with the impliof A A examines cation that if the answer is “no,”.I The Truth in the Myth ought to be a little ashamed of the saying “Only myself. ) by Ray Stratton Chaplain: “No, I’m not.” an alcoholic Alcoholic: “Well then, you can’t Chaplain, Director of Rehabilitation Program for Alcoholics help me. Only an alcoholic can,” can help an Western State Hospital, etc. Fort Supply, Oklahoma – alcoholic” Chaplain: “That sounds a little fantastic to me. You mean if you had a flat tire, I couldn’t help you change the tire since I’m not an recovering alcoholic who gives a alcoholic?” T HE SAYING “Only an alcoholic can help an alcoholic” is a myth. It is a myth as the word is used in ination.” I don’t quite agree with their choice of words, for in no way has my intimate association with lot of credit for his sobriety to Alcoholic: “No, of course not. something said to him by a package- You can help in things like that. theology, not as it is used in popular alcoholics and AA had a “con- store salesman. But you can’t sober me up and language. In popular language, a taminating” influence on me. There are two ways in which this keep me sober.” myth is simply a falsehood. In Rather, it has been enriching. What myth, when taken literally, can be Chaplain: “Well, I certainlv aeree theology, a myth is a belief (or a they mean by these words is that I misused. Alcoholics can use it as an that I cannot sober you up, and story or a description of an event) excuse for not accepting help when certainly I can’t keep you sober. I . have become one of them in spirit. which is literally false, but contains And, indeed, this must happen in it is offered. Every so often, an al- have talked to a lot of alcoholics a spiritual truth. every nonalcoholic who would be coholic who is sent to our hospital who have sobered up in AA and There is a very important truth of help to an alcoholic. This is the is scornful of help from any mem- have had a lot of experience work- I in the myth that only an alcoholic truth in the myth that “Only an ber of our hospital staff. He justifies ing as sponsors, and, you know, , can help an alcoholic. This truth alcoholic can help an alcoholic.” his rejection of help with the state- they confess to the very same limican be expressed in various ways: Although the truth in the myth ment that our staff members are not tation. They say that their most “Only one who can identify with an is very important and valuable, the alcoholics and therefore cannot painful failures as sponsors came alcoholic can help him.” . . . “Only myth itself-like most myths–can understand or help him. This fellow when they forgot this and got to one who accepts the alcoholic in be dangerous. It becomes harmful often has high praise for AA, and entertaining the grandiose idea that the same way that he accepts him- when people interpret it too liter- usually knows all the Slogans. they were keeping their man sober. self, with no feelings of condescen- ally. Not only pastors and physi- However, it usually turns out that They all say that no man, alcoholic sion, can help him.” . . . “Only one cians, not only psychotherapists and he has been, not only in and out or not, can keep another man sober, who becomes an alcoholic in spirit other professional helpers, not only of many hospitals, but in and out and they usually give this credit to can help an alcoholic.” friends and loved ones, but even of many AA groups, and has never the Higher Power or to the group A group near our hospital has understanding judges, kindly jailers, been able to make the AA program or to the Fellowship. There’s no accepted me as an “honorary mem- and sympathetic bartenders have, stick for him. magic along this line. In fact, here’s ber.” They often describe me as on a few occasions at least, been of Conversations with these men why I mentioned the flat tire: An “an alcoholic by virtue of contam- help to alcoholics. I know of one usually run something like this: alcoholic friend of mine tells about

the time he almost slipped, after a But I am not an alcoholic myself, year of sobriety, because of a flat and since only an alcoholic can tire. It came at the worst possible help an alcoholic, I have not spent time and place-just before an im- much time with them.” portant meeting and just across the This pastor also erroneously bestreet from a package store. He was lieved that “Only an alcoholic can so angry and frustrated that he help an alcoholic” was, as he put it, thought about walking over to get a “a doctrine of AA.” I pointed out jug. Instead, he walked over and to him that this was not the case, called his sponsor. His sponsor that from the very outset AA has came, and together they changed worked hand in hand with nonthe tire.” alcoholics and, in fact, has non- I usually also share with such alcoholics on its Board of Trustees. an alcoholic my observation that, I suggested that if he would read as a rule, the longer a man success- AA Comes of Age this would befully works the AA program, the come quite clear to him. less he tends to emphasize that only Of course, nothing 1 hsvc said is another alcoholic can help him, and new to readers of the Grapevine. the more grateful he is for help, re- My purpose in writing this is not to gardless of its source. inform, but simply to remind you The second way this myth, when readers of what you already know: taken literally, can be misused is The belief that “Only an alcoholic by nonalcoholics who use it as an can help an alcoholic,” when taken excuse for not offering help. At our too literally, can be misused. It can hospital, we are trying to involve be used by the alcoholic as an expastors in working with our alco- cuse for not accepting help, and it holic patients after they leave the can be used by the nonalcoholic as hospital. For years, we have been an excuse for not offering help. referring all alcoholic patients to But the truth in the myth should their nearest AA group, and we also be remembered, and this are now expanding our aftercare should be our last word. In a cerprogram to include pastors and tain spiritual sense, it is profoundly other community resources. I re- true: One must become an alcoholic cently wrote to a pastor asking him to help an alcoholic. In fact, this whether he would be willing to fundamental truth applies, not to follow up on an alcoholic who alcoholism alone, but to other probwould soon be returning to his home lems and disorders that man is heir community. The pastor wrote back, to. There’s an ancient belief that “I am interested in alcoholics and persists to this day, that when God have often thought that I ought to helps man, He does so by becoming spend more time working with them. a man Himself.