March 1966

until alcoholics themselves, sick ninger regarding the nature of alcothough they were, proved that it holism as to whether it is a sympcould be effectively done. tom, or an illness in itself. I think Let us take a look at an active the term, “alcoholism,” is a misalcoholic. He has been going along, nomer because it is derived from the meeting with moral judgment and symptom which involves alcohol, condemnation from others because rather than from the basic illness. In of his drinking and more bitterly my judgment, the basic illness is a condemning himself than he could pathological inability to accept and ever be condemned by others. Then to have esteem for the self to the Self-indulgence vs. Self-destruction he enters an AA group. His being extent that one must be accepted there, if it is a closed group, iden- and loved by the self in order to live by Percy M. Sessions, ACSW tifies him as an alcoholic. However, comfortably and constructively. Such in spite of knowing he is, or perhaps a delinition is, of course, opposite to because of knowing it, a substantial Menninger’s “take to loving them- .. number of sober,. avvarentlv decent selves.” Karl A. Menninger’s article, I N “The Vital Balance,” which appeared in the July, 1965 issue of the people wholeheartedly acckpt him 1 think there is a fallacy in asand demonstrate esteem for him. At suming that, since alcoholics show this point, it is, I feel, not his loving little evidence of loving others, they A sociologist AA Grapevine, there is the state- them that helps him, as Menninger must therefore love themselves too ment: “Most alcoholics are affection indicates. It is their loving him. much. Many of them don’t love 1 craving individuals who, if they They make him feel just a little bet- others- this is true. I am conc o m m e n t s on don’t get enough love in the ordi- ter about himself. If these people vinced they don’t love themselves nary course of life, take to loving can accept him, if they can love him, either. There is simply a paucity of themselves, feeling sorry for them- then there simply must still be left love in their lives. When one looks self-love a n d selves, indulging themselves.” I in him something which is accept- at the way they treat themselves, should like to set forth another view able and lovable – probably not how could one ever think they love of the relationship of the (active) very much but something. There- themselves! self-condemnation alcoholic and self-love on the chance fore, perhaps he can venture to ac- It must be conceded that the acthat it may seem to some of your cept and love himself just a little. tive alcoholic is a selfish person, but in alcoholic readers closer to their experience At this point, however, there is not this does not suggest excessive selfthan the one Dr. Menninger enough acceptance and love in his love. It is agreed that he indulges describes. world for him to share these with himself -just as parents may inbehavior I might say first that I agree with anybody else. Indeed, there is still dulge their child in order to conceal almost everything Dr. Menninger not enough for himself, He cannot from others and from themselves says in his article, and I share his share with others when he himself that they have some tendency to great respect for AA. Then, too, I is starved. In my view, his very ill- hate their child. feel very humble when I reflect upon ness has consisted of this, starvation When the alcoholic drinks, he the fact that we professional people for esteem from both others and the does not know the reason why he rather generally lacked the courage self – especially from the self. does so. He may say that it is beto attack the problem of alcoholism I have come to agree with Men- cause somebody has mistreated him,

but this is really no explanation for with alcohol, one might occasionally Although the alcoholic tries to their losses, while he is convinced his further mistreating himself. H e get too much to drink because one compensate himself by fantasying that he lacks this capacity. may say that he needs the relief has not yet learned what amount to that he possesses varied virtues The active alcoholic pours more from tensions and the feeling of consume in order to achieve the op- which he does not really have, thus and more contempt and hostility well-being that alcohol promotes, timum effect. The person who wants dcvcloping il spurious self-;rdmira- upon himself until eventually they but this does not explain why he im- that effect, granted that he is nor- tion and possibly some megalo- must overflow upon others. Anypatiently drinks himself out of the mal, soon learns how much to drink. mania, on the deeper level he se- way, if such overflow alienates peostate of feeling good and into the Those who persist in drinking too cretly and sometimes almost wholly ple, this result is consistent with his state of feeling miserable. He may much, in spite of the evidence of unconsciously thinks of himself, I need to punish himself. He rejects say that he simply has an allergic their experience that it is too much, am convinced, as a weakling, a sin- help because he feels that he is bereaction to alcohol, but this leaves do so because certain of their psy- ner and a louse. He becomes sorry yond help, that he is hopeless, and unexplained his repetitive consump- chological needs are thereby met. for himself because he senses that also because he feels that he does tion of that to which he is allergic. These psychological needs are, it reality is not conforming with and not deserve it. In my judgment, the The alcoholic can deceive others secms to me, to suffer; and nobody contirniing his fantasy about him- active alcoholic is an excellent ex- (and even himself) regarding what wants anybody to suffer, whether self. Because he is sorry for himself, ample of man against himself -to he is really doing. He can rationalize another or himself, if he genuinely he beconles selfish and self-centered. use the title of one of Dr. Menhis behavior so effectively that even loves that person. Therefore, the al- He may take any advantage he can ninger’s excellent volumes. professional people can be misled coholic must have bcen self-con- get. He may not hesitate to deprive This is my concept of self-hatred by the explanations he gives for his demning even before developing the others when he wants what they as an ingredient of alcoholism. If I drinking. He can hate himself and symptom of chronic or repetitive have because others are so fortun- am wrong, I apologize to your readactually commit ultimate suicide drunkenness. Then, because he con- ate, so strong, and so good as com- ers – and to Dr. Menninger! But while giving the impression to others sciously disapproves of this behav- pared with himself that they are not perhaps some of what I say will, on that he loves himself too much. ior, his self-approval sustains further and will never be so desperate as he the other hand, ring a bell in the During one’s early experience decline. is. They have the capacity to replace memories of AA readers.