September 1966

Observer:

with twice the pain-relieving power, saccharine tablets to help reduce our caloric intake?” , The Drugcase Is Getting Heavier antihistamine pills, benzadrine to pep us up after the antihistamine “You’re thinking about the body’s chemical balance all the time, peps us down, sleeping pills to pep by Russell Baker Marge. You should have been a us down after the benzadrine has pepped us up, motion-sickness pills, doctor. Hey, I almost forgot! The and thousands of tiny time capsules tranquilizers!” to suppress cold symptoms. What “Of course! As long as we’ve got “Just a minute, Bill. The anti- else do we need, Bill?” the tranquilizers nothing can pos- B ILL and Marge are packing histamine makes you drowsy, you their drugcase for a long trip. Let’s eavesdrop. know. Better give me the benza- “The pills to prevent a family enlargement.” sibly interest us during the whole trip. But the drugcase is getting so heavy I don’t think we should put “All right, Marge, we might asdrine right now so we’ll be sure to “Check.” have something to counteract the “Tablets to relieve heartburn.” in anything else.” well start packing these pills. Ready?” antihistamine.” “Check, and don’t forget, Bill, stomach-alkalizing tablets to relieve The Full Teet “Call off each batch as you hand “Good thinking, ~ a r ~ e . Benzaexcess gastric acidity.” “Okay. Vitamin pills, aspirin tabdrine to pep us up after the antiit to me, and 1’11 check it off on the “Right here, Marge. Now, we’re lets, tablets with twice the pain-remaster list, Bill.” histamine peps us down.” getting into the hot season and lieving power, antihistamine pills, “All right. We’ll start with the “Check. Now hand me the pills benzadrine to pep us up, sleeping we’re going to be losing a lot of vitamin pills.” to prevent motion sickness.” pills to pep us down, motion-sickbody fluids through perspiration. “Vitamin pills.” “Anti-motion-sickness pills. What ness pills, thousands of tiny time Don’t you think we should pack the “Check.” next, Marge?” capsules to suppress cold symptoms, salt tablets?” “Aspirin tablets.” “The sleeping pills.” pills to prevent family enlargement, “All right, darling, but you know “Of course. How could I have Blood May Get Tired heartburn tablets, tablets to relieve the kind of headaches I get. I need overlooked the sleeping pills?” excess gastric acidity, salt pills, iron “I don’t know about you, but it the tablets with twice the pain-re- “We’ll thank our lucky stars for pills, saccharine tablets and tranwould spoil the whole trip for me if lieving power of regular aspirin.”sleeping pills, Bill, on nights after quilizers.” “Right, Marge, and here they my body-salt level fell below par. we’ve taken benzadrine to prevent Hand them down. And don’t forget “We forgot the LSD cubes! Withare. Tablets with twice the pain- the antihistamine from putting us out the LSD cubes we won’t be able the iron pills to keep our blood relieving power.” to sleep. Now, what about some- to take a trip into our minds.” from getting tired.” “Check.” thing to suppress cold symptoms?” “Iron pills coming at you. What “But why in the world do we “Antihistamine pills to relieve “Here’s just the thing. Thousands want to take a trip into our minds, else?” hives and other common allergies.”of tiny time capsules.” Bill?” “Well, with the vitamin pills and “Check.” “Thousands of tiny time capsules. the iron pills, we’re liable to de- “See this list of pills, Marge? All “Pills to prevent motion sick-Check. Now 1’11 run down the list those pills are going into our stomvelop voracious appetites, darling, ness.” and see what we’ve overlooked. Vi- and eat more than is good for our achs. We want to be someplace else O 1966 bv The New York Times Company. ~eprintedby permission. tamin pills, aspirin tablets, tablets waistlines. Why don’t you put in the when they start arriving.”