I WAS A TEEN ALCOHOLIC

The Number one drug turn-on among teens today is alcohol. Half of the heavy users among teens are likely to become alcoholics, and it is estimated that there are already 450,000 teen alcoholics in the country. Recent Parent Teachers Association surveys gauge that 75 per cent of high school youth now drink, and that more than half of those have serious alcoholic problems. During the past ten years, arrests of girls eighteen and younger who were intoxicated by liquor have more than tripled. Arrests of boys in the same age group have jumped almost two and a half times, according to Dr. Morris Chafetz, director of the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse. Dr Chafetz also asserts that a third of all high school students state that they drink with regularity, while only 14 percent of teen-agers are total abstainers. (Among adults 32 percent don’t drink at all.) Alcoholics Anonymous a leading self-help organization, says that they currently have twenty-five groups oriented to young people. A year ago there were only twelve such groups, five years ago none. (Columbus Hospital, in New York City, has just expanded its alcohol treatment center to offer help to adolescent alcoholics, the first such program in America.) Many young people are turning from hard drugs to alcohol, particularly beer and wine, states a recent report in the “Christian Science Monitor.” Sales of “pop” fruit-flavoured wines are up from three million gallons in 1968 to 33 million gallons last year, and these wines are consumed almost entirely by young people. Following is the true personal story of one teen-age alcoholic.

My name is Cathy C., and I am an alcoholic. I tasted better to me and had an even quicker started to drink when I was fifteen. My first drink effect in getting me high. was in the park near my house, where a number I had always done well in school, and of older neighbourhood teen-agers used to during that first year of strictly weekend drinking gather regularly, to socialize and drink beer. I managed to keep up my usual good grades. One day one of the boys offered me a But by my sophomore year my drinking began to can of beer. I had always been painfully shy. In increase, and my marks started to go down the past I’d felt ignored and left out by this group drastically. of older kids. But as soon as I drank the beer I was part of a whole gang of kids who everything seemed wonderful. I was no longer got together for parties or just casual drinking in shy; I couldn’t talk to people, dance and sing. the afternoon. Not all of then were that Everybody seemed to like me and find me fun to interested in alcohol. About half were strictly be with. marijuana smokers, or were into pills. I tried pot This was going to be it, I thought. and pills, but they just weren’t my sort of high. Whenever the opportunity arose, I was going to Give me a six-pack or a can of those prepared drink. The taste meant nothing to me, though at screwdrivers then just becoming popular and I first I stuck to milder stuff like beer and wine. It was happy. Though my parents weren’t heavy was the effect I was after, and the effect was drinkers, they did keep a small supply of liquor wonderful as far as I was concerned! on hand for social occasions. Before long I was In the beginning it was only weekend into this too. drinking. I soon graduated from beer and wine to By the time I was sixteen, at the end of screwdrivers (vodka and orange juice) which my sophomore year, I was doing so badly at the parochial school I attended that I was asked to

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leave. But I was glad to go to the high school tipsy, my father had been very concerned. When which was much larger, had less supervision, I sobered up he took me aside and said: “Kathy, and was much less strict about attendance. you are one of those people who should never Besides, most of my new friends attended that drink. You change drastically when you are school. drinking. Your personality is completely I got in with what I considered to be the different.” real ” in” crowd, something I felt I could never I remember answering him “Yes, but the have done before I started drinking. None of us change is for the Better! I don’t feel shy. Its really went to school. We would just check into terrific!” the home room in the morning; then we’d get One day, when I was sixteen, I found out together and find out whose parents would be that my mother wasn’t going to be home that away that afternoon and go there and party. I afternoon so I had the gang over and we had a don’t think we attended school more than one groovy party, swinging on beer, screwdrivers third of the time that year. and wine. But even though I was to some extent At least 20 percent of the students were the life of the party, there was one guy there involved in this kind of thing, but I guess my who wouldn’t pay any attention to me. I am not closest friends were the real troublemakers. sure what made me do it, maybe something I None of them wanted to be in school in the first had seen in a movie or on TV, but I went into the place. They all wanted to quit, even if they had bathroom, took a razor blade from my father’s no plans for the future. At this point I’d say that medicine chest, and with two quick movements at least half of the gang were still on drugs, but I slit both wrists. I really had no intention of killing stayed strictly away from that, not only because I myself. It was just a play for this boy’s attention, didn’t like it, but because of the danger with the and when I reappeared at the party, bleeding law. I figured I was being pretty smart to stay heavily, it certainly got attention. with liquor, which was not only safer from a legal Of course that was the end of the party, point of view but also cheaper and easier to get. since I was rushed to the hospital. I know that I Age was no barrier to getting alcohol though would never have done that if I had not been most of the taverns were pretty strict about ID drunk out of my mind. When I was drunk, I didn’t cards. There were always a few phony ID cards even feel the pain. I was sent to a private being passed around, and there was seldom a psychiatric hospital for two weeks as a result of problem buying the stuff in supermarkets or this incident. When I returned to school, liquor stores. If a liquor store wouldn’t sell to us, everyone seemed to know what had happened. we could always recruit an older person to go in I told my father I couldn’t go back to school and get a bottle for us – just tell him we were because I was sure everyone was making fun of planning a party or something. me. I went with him to the guidance counselor, That was the thing about drinking. and she agreed that my parents might as well People generally approved of it – they were glad take me out of school since I was getting nothing that at least we weren’t on drugs. Alcohol was from it. The next season my parents, who had familiar, something they could understand. Even always hoped I would go to college, enrolled me the cops weren’t too tough if they found us with in a business school. That was the year I turned booze. Of course, possession of liquor by seventeen. Now that I was no longer in high underage kids is not a crime. school, my life began to revolve more and more Toward the end of my junior year my around bars. But I was still not aware that I had behavior came to the attention of school a problem; I felt I could quit drinking anytime I authorities. They sent for my parents and I had wanted to. This was the year I met Peter, my many conferences with the school psychiatrist to first serious boy friend. find out why I was skipping so many classes. My Peter would drink occasionally, but he father had been aware that I was in danger of was not part of my crowd, and he thought my becoming a problem drinker from the start. A excess drinking was caused by the people I year before, when I, had been out until two in associated with. He introduced me to his crowd the morning and had come home obviously – much straighter than the group I went with and

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drinkers only on the weekends or special lunchtime. I took a bottle to the office, but I had occasions. this terrific hangover and felt I couldn’t wait until The business school I was going to lunch. By five I was in a blackout and couldn’t encouraged me’ to take courses that would help remember anything. I know that I behaved very me get better jobs when I got out, such as foolishly at the office and apparently fell down a accounting and business English. But in two flight of stairs and had to be taken to the months I had dropped all courses except typing. emergency ward at the hospital. When my father It seemed to be the only one I could cope with came to get me, he said; “Kathy, You must go to when I had a hangover, which was often. By Alcoholics Anonymous. Nobody drinks the way now my parents were deeply troubled, but I still you do. You shouldn’t be drinking alone or hiding refused to take their advice and even told them bottles.” that unless they locked me up and chained me By then even I began to realize I had a to the bed, there was nothing they could do bad problem. But I hated the idea of A.A. There about it. weren’t many young people in A.A. then and I Then I started to go in for morning drinks. was sure it would be some kind of Salvation I remember sitting in a bar one night and saying: Army evangelistic crew. I finally agreed to go to “I’m going to have a beaut of a hangover my local chapter meeting, but to do that I had to tomorrow. The noise of those type-writers is get drunk. going to drive me crazy!” The next day they sent two people over One of the fellows answered, “Try a drink to see me and even arranged to have a twentyin the morning. It’ll bring you around.” three year old woman talk to me, as she was So I figured: “This is marvelous! Now I closer to my age. But she was married and had can drink and not even feel sick the next day!” a baby. I was single. What would happen to my Toward the end of my seventeenth year, social life if I stopped drinking? The parties? The I had my first blackouts – periods when I couldn’t bars? I couldn’t face giving up alcohol. remember anything that happened. I was scared The next two years were a hazy at first but I was still going with Peter, who was a nightmare. I became a “periodic drinker,” very dependable guy, so I knew I’d get home all drinking one week out of the month. I lost my job right. and drifted into a series of temporary jobs. The Just after I turned eighteen Peter was minute I got a paycheck, I was off on a binge. I drafted. I decided I would be a faithful girl and go began to let everything go – even my dress and out only with my girl friends or stay home at appearance. Sometimes I didn’t bathe for days. night and write letters to Pete. So instead of Peter got out of the army and saw that his girl going to bars to get drunk, I would drink alone in had become a full-fledged, full-time drunk. This my room. romance eventually ended. I got my first job about that time, and it Even then, I didn’t consider myself an was terrific. I didn’t have to depend on my folks alcoholic. I felt all I had to do was learn to drink for money or on my boy friends to but me booze. like a lady and control myself. I did attend a few But I was hurting myself desperately, more A.A. meetings, but I wasn’t impressed. I without realizing it. I would go out with my girl got sick and was hospitalized several times. The friends on Wednesday nights, and the blackouts thought of suicide crossed my mind, but I was were getting worse, only now I didn’t have Peter afraid of failing at it. Besides, I’m a Roman to protect me; often I didn’t know how I got home Catholic and my religion was one of the main or who had taken me there. I was still very things that kept me from going that route. straight and religious and I worried what might At my family’s urging I even went to a happen to me some night during one of those psychiatrist. He helped me with many problems, blackouts. but not with the drinking, because I wouldn’t let Up to this point I didn’t drink at work. I him. knew this was different from school and that if I I really didn’t think much of myself at the drank I’d be fired. But one day I decided I would time. My self-esteem was at a low point, and the just have a drink to break up the boredom at only way I seemed to be able to avoid my

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feelings of self-hatred was to drink. My family life lectures to explain what alcoholism is and what it was miserable. It reached the stage where the can do to you. There were three of these a day. family was ashamed to have guests come to the This was followed by another series of house when I was around. I began to wake up in lectures for an hour and a half every morning, the morning sick and nauseated. I was throwing seven mornings a week. Afternoons were up constantly and losing weight. devoted to group therapy and individual Finally I collapsed again, at the end of counseling sessions. I was soon made to realize my physical endurance. This time somebody that I was not like other people, that I had a recommended that I be sent to the Freeport severe reaction to alcohol and could never be a Hospital, in Freeport, Long Island – one of the “social drinker.” few in the country devoted to the treatment of To me alcohol was, in effect, an allergy. I alcoholics. I was carried in on a stretcher. was told that the only way I would be able to In the hospital I was put to bed and given stay sober, once I was discharged, was to join a complete physical examination. It was an A.A. group, and I attended several sessions determined that I was in a severe state of which were handled by outside A.A. volunteers. malnutrition – my weight had dropped to 85 Much time was spent trying to build up the pounds from my normal 110, largely because patients’ “self-esteem” – to convince them that during my drinking bouts I simply had no interest being an alcoholic was not a sign of a weak or in eating. I was also suffering from vitamin evil character but a condition that could be deficiencies, particularly of B-12, which is the treated, like diabetes, though not ever cured. first to be destroyed by alcohol. I was put on a I was started on a family program and high-protein, high-calorie diet, given massive my parents, brother and sister were invited to injections of B-12 until my bottom was sore, and attend what we called the FOG sessions (Family given high-potency vitamins orally too. My liver Orientation Group). There my family was given showed signs of damage, but the doctor felt it lectures similar to my own orientation course, would easily recover. explaining what alcoholism is and how I should During the first few days I was also given be treated. They were encouraged to join Ala mild tranquilizer to help me cope with the Anon, an organization specially for the families shakes and withdrawal symptoms. But this was of alcoholics. One of the important points quickly discontinued. stressed was that families should not disrupt “Alcoholics, above all, should avoid any their entire lives because one of them was an sort of tranquilizer or stimulant. Their bodies alcoholic, but must learn to start living for have built up a high tolerance for drugs and they themselves. Sometimes after hearing the tend to increase dosage when they are orientation lectures, other members of the family troubled,” I was told by hospital director Dr. would realize that they too were alcoholics and Frank Herzlin. “This puts them right back into the apply for a course of treatment. alcohol habit in short order,” Altogether there were twenty-five Patients are usually ambulatory when different programs in one week for the alcoholic they are admitted to Freeport, and all patients, including films, group and private admissions are voluntary – nobody is committed, therapy, rap sessions and lectures. We were as they might be to a mental institution. In my also given a complete physical checkup every case I was on my feet in two days and day. I know of no case in which any of the encouraged to take my meals with the others. I patients tried to smuggle in drinks or have any had pictured the patients as being “Bowery bum” alcohol at this period. They had all been too types, but I could not have been more wrong. close to disaster. Most were attractive and well spoken. Though at Treatment at Freeport is usually for one twenty-one I was the youngest at the hospital, a week. This costs $405 and is allowable on Blue number of patients were under thirty. Cross, but since I had no regular job at the time I I was then entered in the educational was admitted, the cost had to be picked up by program, which consisted first of orientation my family.

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I finally left Freeport after two weeks, and started confidently to drill, when I let out a restored in physical and mental health, and shriek of pain. convinced I could and must stay sober. I had forgotten one of the warnings in the I was able, after a few months, to start lectures at Freeport. If you are given another relationship with a boy I had known in anesthetics, you must always warn the doctor or high school. He knew of my illness and was dentist that you are a recovered alcoholic. confident we could fight it together. This did Alcoholics often develop such a special much to help my self-esteem. chemistry with regard to drugs that they have But it was hard to stay sober. I still been known to come suddenly out of anesthesia couldn’t realize that in my case, I could not drink even during surgery! at all. Shortly after I left Freeport, I took a bottle I have finally learned that I can cope with of Vodka to my room, just to lift me out of the my illness by facing it day by day, with the help blues. I fell off the wagon with a bang, and within of my family, my boy friend and Alcoholics two weeks I was in almost as bad shape as Anonymous. I’ve learned to love waking up not when I’d first arrived at Freeport. I agreed to feeling sick. return for further treatment and was reminded of I took and passed a high school what I had been told so many times in the equivalency test and have now passed entrance hospital and at A-A. meetings. When you go exams for a local university, which I plan to back to drink, you don’t go back to the attend next semester. beginning; you return to the point where you last Paul, my new boy friend, loves and left off. understands me. Before, I never believed This time I cleared the hospital in one anyone would love me sober. Now I don’t think week, convinced that I would really stay sober anyone could love me any other way. forever. I had another scare not long afterward I give thanks to God, the Freeport while I was having some dental work done. The Hospital and Alcoholics Anonymous for giving dentist had given me the usual dose of Novocain me back a life that nearly ended before it began.

Source: Seventeen, March 1974.

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