9EP-7 /7 57 END OF THE GRAF SPEE DEATH IN THE SOUTH ATLANTIG

l$ TRUE ADVENTURES FOR MEN NEW YORK’S GREATEST SIEGE THE CAPTI’RE OF TYyO.GUN CROWT.EY

jt

IT Y(IU I(IINED ATG(}H(}TICS Ail (}ilYM(}US

Pink elephants are trutnpeting in your em und’ your body is screaming for a shot. Here’s what it takes to get off the tread.nxill of alcoholism

BY IOSH G]lEENFELD

When Gregory GamittS entereil the bat … . .:.\ The ch,urch tost a bisltop The opera l,ost a star When Gregwa Gar’ti,tg entered, the bor.

IN THE neighborhood gin mill, Garrity stood in his usual position, one foot on the rail, one hand on a whiskey glass, repeating his favorite chant before a disinterested audience of two-a bartender who was busily tallying up the day’s receipts before closing time and a stranger who was staring moodily into his drink in a corner booth. Garrity was a robust man, in his late 30s, red-faced, and endowed with an infinite capacity. He had downed 14 whiskey sours, but he could still see his own image clearly in the mirror behnrd the bar. What I need’ he thought, is another drink. “Jack, m’boy,” he called out to the bartender, “won’t you ffll her up again, lad?” “Just show me your silver,” the bartender said. GarriW fished into his pockets. All he could come up with was a buffalo nickel and two steel pennies. He checked his wallet. It was empty’ “Well,” he coughed, “I guess you’ll have to put it on my tab, Jack.” “You know what the boss said about your tab,” the bartender said. Garrity smiled softly. “Just one little drink.” “I got my orders,” the bartender said. “For old times’ sake,” Garrity begged. “I’m a good customer here.”

ILLf]STEATSD It’}– .’OT’ LITTLI’

29

“You owe $400 here,” the bartender said. The night watchman took him up on the elevator. Garrity took his foot off the rail and straightened up “W’orking overtime?” the watchman asked, with a posed dignity. “I happen to be the attorney for this “Yes,” Garrity said. He mumbled something about an establishment,” he said. “And the trifling sum of $400 “important case” and walked away from the elevator, would certainly be eonsidered a modest retainer for a man across the marble-topped floor. of my legal talents.” The key slid into the office door easily and the lock The bartender smiled coldly. “Yeah, that reminds me, snapped back. Garrity flipped the lights on. He rifled The boss said he didn’t want to have no lush for a lawyer through the drawers of the secretary’s desk until he found anymore.” what he was looking for-the petty cash box. Thirty-four “I’m not a lush!” Garrity said angrily. dollars were in it. He took the money and stuffed it into “Then what the hell are you?” The bartender turned his pocket. He signed a voucher for it, adding the notaaway. tion, “entertainment expenses.” Then he replaced the box Garrity followed him down the bar. “Please, Jack,” he in the desk, locked the door, and walked from the buildwhined, “You’ve got to give me a drink.” ing to the waiting cab. “No,” the bartender snapped. “No.” In the gray half-dawn, he entered an after-hours club Garrit5r stood there limply, his hands extended palms and, witJr a sigh of re[ef, ordered three whiskey sours. upward. He was a pathetic-looking figure, and the image He gulped them down quickly. This is more like it, he of himseU in the mirror showed it, Suddenly, with gleat thought, settling down to some steady, serious drinking. violence, he hurled his whiskey glass against tJre mirror, By morning, when he flually staggered out of the cracking it in a zigzag paltern. club, he was loaded. But he still had enough money left to “You’Il have to pay for that, Mr. Garrity,” the bar- pick up a bottle of brandy in a liquor store, to have around tender said calmly. as “a pick me up.” Then, when most people were heading “Sue me!” Garrity roared, and with a great haughti- toward work, he returned to his hotel room. ness he pushed out into the street. Now he tried to sleep. But when he got into bed, sweat The stranger looked up. “What’s wiong with him?” began to roll off his body. He kicked off the blanket. “Just another drunken bum,” the bartender said. Soon his feet became cold, and he began to shiver. Then he thought he heard voiees outside the door. He could Tn”t ,rr*n, Garrity paced through the streets restlessly. not distinguish what they were saying, but he knew they The bars were all closed, but he still craved a drink. He were talking about him. He rushed to the door and had no money, so he could not go to an after-hours club. opened it. There was no one there. In terror, he slammed Suddenly, he paused at a street corner and his face lit up the door and stood vrith his back to it, his heart pounding. in’happy thought: perhaps he had left some money back He was convinced that someone wanted to break into in his hotel room; perhaps he had hidden it for just such his room and kill him. f’rantically he barricaded the an occasion as this; perhaps he had even hidden a bottle. door, piling up every piece of furniture in the room befoie There’s no telling, he decided, how clever Gregory Garifi it. Then he downed half a tumbler of brandy to steady was when he put his mind to it. As he hurried toward his himself. hotel room, he began to chant: When Gregorg Gatritg When he returned to bed, he still could not relax. His entered, the bor head ached terribly and he was nauseated. He held out his But his .- stopped as he franticaUy rummaged his hand and watched its tremblilgs. Then.the room began room. He opened drawers, shook out pillows and emptied to spin, It whirled about him in a dizzy confusion, .”Stop! pockets. Btrt he could not find any cash. He looked on Stop!” he cried out. But the room only spun faster. The the top shelf of the closet, under the bed and outside the furniture seemed to be coming straight at him. He held window ledge. But he could not flnd a bottle. up his hands as a shield before his face. It was unbearable. Garrity slumped down on the edge on his bed, holding Abruptly, the spinning stopped,.and he began to sob, his his head in his hands. His throat was dry, his body teeth dug into the pillow, his big body shaking like a quivering. He needed a drink now, he felt, more desper- baby’s. ately than he had ever needed one before in.Where his 1ife. He had to have a drink or he’d die. But how? could Hu rru” full of remorse over his petty cash theft; it went he get the money at this hour of the night? “Of course!” against all his concepts of morality. Never before had. he He snapped his fingers, “The office.” He reached into his sunk so low. He hated himself with a bitter loathing. pocket and felt for the key. It was there. He cursed himself vehemently for drinking. He did not Momentarily, his conscience rebelled. The office wasn’t really enjoy alcohol, yet he could not stop drinking. If his. His own office, like most of his practice’ had long only he could stop. Tonight, I’ll go on the wagon, he since slipped away. The ofrce belonged to an old friend, promised himself. Then he laughed sardonically. How who allowed him to use it on the rare occasions when he many times had he tried to stop? How many times had was meeting prospective clients. But whose office it was, he told himself that he had the will to do it all by himself? he decided, was not important. The important thing was How many times had he deluded himself, taking the to get the money for a drink-immediately. He ran from pledge, only to slip again? His life was just a steady his room, scampered down two flights of stahs, and hailed downhill roll. Because of drink, he had lost his family, a taxi in the street. “Hurr;r!” he told the cab driver, his home, his career. Above all, he had lost his self- “Elurry!” respect. And there seemed to be no way out. It was aJter four o’clock when he pulled up in front Gregory Garrity was a very sick man. He was one of of the downtown office building. He told the cab driver the estimated 4,000,000 potential su-fferers of alcoholism to wait. in America. Alcoholism is both a physical and mental

physical susceptibility from a disease. flre victim suffers -=t,;#;”i-“od, l==:….

the same time’ he has a compulsion to Whereas, most of tts’ wben it “t comes to drinking’ = drink.I”i tak; it or leave it, an alcoholic can’t’ For bim’ one a thousand aren’t enough’ H-e is =:.=. is too maDy and =,drink must constantly eat sweets’ ‘-t:’ il; *ioio*er, diabetic who = on that day, April t?th’ 1952′ Gregory Gar- . tity;;;;; commission of a simple act’ found a wav out t,he telephone and dialed an old ::::. =.1= i”i i”rirJt. He picked up he knew’ had once faced a similar who, ‘– ffi;;;ft;ddv fiend’ somehow’ had managed ii”tG ptoulem’ This ”’,.,,, to tiry oo tn” wagon for over three years’ j.. “”‘iriluo, Joho,” Garrity said into the phone’ “I want you :==, to tell me sometbingl.” — 1=- ttfng,” John rePlied *r!,,,’ “5ure “;; tt tie worra did vou stop drinkins?” ‘;;,.. Anonymous” “1 lqinea Alcoholics said slowly’ “r’dlike to stop drink- = “6ilir”u,” Garrity really an aleoholic’ so I don’t l- -g. i* i don’t ttrink ?mwould do me'” ;;*h;t eooa that outfit t=-, = :w”11″ iook in at a meeting anyveay”‘ John suggested’ pick -‘ ‘ ‘In fact, I’m going to one tonight’ Can I drop by and ‘,..t you up on the waY?” ‘=, ‘?”i-ity looked about his disorderly toom’ “No’ don’t :i=,,. bother,” he said. –‘;Weif rr,, let me give you the address and you can come by yourself if you want to'” *-6r”iiy :=’ along =,, down the address and hung up’ Ilell’ he *Until vou’re ready to admit that you are an alcoholic'” John A;;;”t atthing tnai e’n” can do to help vou”‘ .=,,’ d;;;;i uave nothine to lose’ r might as well “tpied go to that ;;il;, that be might as qrell have := ;”-;ti”;. == He also decided poured a stifi one and Garrity felt uncomfortable when he heard the word il;lJ drink for the road’ He “atcot otic” used in reference to himseU’ It had a repul- ‘ g”fp”a it down-before he left his hotel room he had six he did not like being identified with it’ ri””-tl””A, and :.=,:,: mofe’ :– -ffrat evening he showed up atthe designated Alcoholics But he read tJre questions: -= aoonyntous mieting place; it was 11 a church basement’ 1. Do you crave a drink at a deflnite time daily? =-= rr” to flnd a bunch of Skid Row derelicts as- 2. Do you gulp your drinks, and sneak exfuas? “*p*t”a ;;;fii there. rnstead, he fouad a gxoup of sober’ cleari. po vo” a”tt to reteve feeliags of inadequacy? =- A pert young blonde apptoached him’ “Is +. Oo yo” drink to escape worry and dispel the blues? =:. “y”A “iU””*. thir your ffrst meeting?” she asked’ 5. Do you drink when overtired to brace up? =- -1 =,. ttYesr” he nodded. 6. Is &inki.g affecting your peace of mind? “i;; perhaps you’d like to see some of our literature'” i. rr a”iotiog making your home life unhappy? ..: She handed him several pamphlets’ 8. Do You Prefer to drink alone? t – ign”oA you,” Garrity said and took a seat in the back 9. Do you require a drink the next morning? of the room. 10. Do you lose time from work due to drinki:rg? :. A vivid sigD, in ornate lettedng, hung from the speaker’s . lecterr: When Garrity taltied up his sqore, he almgs! :ho*d’ ‘ gxant me the Serenity to accept tl:e things I can- It ;;s a perfett 100 per cent’ He felt like leaving man’ the L not”God *u”Uog, but at that moment, a tall musc’rlar stood change, ;;;;h” lectern and pounded awar wilf a gavel’ As , “Couxage to change the things I can’ of the group, he called tJre meeting to order’ ::r: ‘And the \trisdom to know the difterence”‘ “t “ir*”tt he began’ “I -, Ganity noticed that most of the people present were “Welcome to our weekly open meeting,” -‘u about here, as well as many familiar oldhis age, in the late 30s. They all seemed to be see some newcomers all get to know each other because misery ,- chain-smokers. tit”””a. Let’s io”u. Would you each please shake hands with :’ IIis frieud John slid in beside him. ‘Didn’t think you d “o*p””v. next to You’ make it Greg,” he said. person —ifo, the sitting the beneflt oI the newcomers, I’ll explain that in “I’m just curious,” Garrity told him. A.A. we hold two types of meetings-open and closed’ “Surer” John said’ “I understand.” sit The closed meetings are for alcoholics only’ There we “After all,” Garrity said, “I’m not an alcoholic”‘ and our own individual alcoholic “If you say you’re uot an alcoholic, then A.A’ can’t do *””.4 a table discuss much for you,” John explained. “But if you admit that proUtems. Those are private’ B-ut at an open meeting !o””yot is welcome, aad, of course, your anonymity is you are one, A.A. can do a gfeat deal for you'” IIe picked ” We never protected. Ifs a funny thing about alcoholics’ up oue of the pamphlets that tay in Garrity’s lap’ “Ask drunk’ yourseU tlese tea questions. If the answers are ‘yes i”.Jto mind staggering around town obnoxiously poge But when we’re cold sober we’re (Contin’ued otl 6L) that’s a good indication that you are an alcoholic.”

lf You Joined Alcoholics Anonymous conrinued rrom pose 3r alcohol since. “In that hospital,” he reealls, “I finally realized, deep inside of me, that I was an alcoholic-but there a little uneasy about our alcoholism. Be- he had ordered a whiskey and u,as rais- was nothing morally wrong about being cause, you see, we’re no further awaY ing it to his lips. One drink won’t kill one either. I faced the facts about myfrom our next drunk than our next me, he thought. But then he reconsid- self squarely. I couldn’t stop drinking drink. ered: If I’m going to give this A.A. stuff by myself. But through A.A. I could. “I used tJre expression ‘oldtimer’ be- a try, I might as well go about it whole And, with God’s help, I would.” fore. But there really isn’t such an ani- hog. He placed the whisl<ey down on Garrity is typical of the 200,000 alcomal in A.A. AIl of us are just drunks- the bar and walked out. He was mighty holics who flnd a mutual strength in that is if we drink. pleased with himself. their common weakness. Fifty per cent “Our disease is alcoholism. It’s a pro- However, the feeling of self-satisfac- of the men and women who join A.A. gressive ilIness and there’s no in- tion soon wore off. Later that night, as achieve sobriety at once. Another 25 between, Unless we curb it, most of us he tried to sleep, the old urge for a per cent become sober after some slips will wind up in a mental home or in drink became overpowering. He reached similar to Garrity’s. The remaining 25 the city morgue. for his brandy bottle. Then he recalled per cent show, at least, some form of “I myself, like most A.Aers, just try John’s suggestion. And instead of tak- improvement. These statistics are not and get by from one daY to the next, ing a drink dialed his number. rigged. For no one is denied member- 24 hours at a time. Every morning when “Hold the fort,” John begged him. “I’Il ship simply because he or she is a I get up, I say to myself: ‘Tomorrow I be right over.” “hopeless case.” may go off on one of the damndest bend- Garrity was miserable as he writhed In the strange confraternity of Alcoers you ever saw, but today, with God’s on his bed. The sweat rolled off him holics Anonymous are state supreme help, I’m going to stay sober.’ So far, and he had the shakes. court justices, well known major league for eight years, I’ve avoided that to- Within a half-hour John, and a fellow ball players. celebrated night club cornemorrow. A.Aer, whom Garrity recognized as one dians and distinguished college profes- “Tonight we’re going to hear from of the speakers he had seen at the meet- sors. There is even one group composed three speakers, each with a different ing, were at his bedside. entirely of clerg5rmen. They all try to story to tell. Listen carefully to these “Here, have some coffee,” John said, help themselves by helping each other. stories. Because if you keep coming to handing him a container. “By the way, It was this principle that resulted in A.A. meetings, sooner or later, you’Il Greg. This is Jim Carroll.” the founding of A.A. back in 1934. in hear your own. It may not happen to- “I don’t envy you any,” Jim sympa- Akron, Ohio. Bill W., an engineer, and night. But eventually you’ll recognize thized. “These flrst few days are rough. Dr. Bob S., a surgeon, were in the last your own pattern of drinking. And But I’ll tell you something, Greg. You sta-es or alcoholic disintegration when sometimes, it’s only that-hearing your have more sense than I had. I was too they first met. Happily, they discovered own story from someone else’s lips- ashamed to even call my sponsor. So I that, as two long-suffering and desperate that can make you acknowledge to your- went out on a four-day bender, and it d1upl.s. thev understood each othe. imself that you are really an alcoholic. took me two months before I had the plicitly-both knew every trick and alibi That’s the first step toward recovery. nerve to show up at an A.A. meeting in the alcoholic’s book-and were able “One more word for the benefit of again.” to help each other get “on the wagon.” newcomers. Here, at A.A., we don’t care By the end of that year, they had what your religion is, or if you don’t Th” t-o men stayed u,ith Garrity for recruited a third convert. The followhave one at all. But we do like to end over an hour, until the crisis passed. ing year the membership increased to 15. each meeting by reciting the Lord’s Then Garrity went to sleep, for the first And by 1938, there were 60 members, Prayer. It’s up to you if you want to time in years, without the benefit of a all anonymous alcoholics, living in join in or not. night-cap. Akron, Cleveland and New Yorlr. “Now for our first speaker. .” During the next few months Garrity Then the spotlight of national pub- Each speaker began with a pat in- attended numerous A.A. meetings. licity fell upon the idea and it spread troduction: “My name is There, he found enjoyable companion- like wild flre, Today, A.A. has 6,300 and f’m an alcoholic.” He then recounted ship and comradeship. Sometimes his groups in 60 countries throughout the his battles with John Barleycorn. Gar- old gin mill cronies rebuked him for world. Two hundred groups meet in rity expected to be bored, but he wasn’t. not drinking, but Garrity didn’t care. hospitals, 300 within prisons, and over He often found himself laughing up- Staying sober, he discovered, made his 200 different groups meet in large cities roariously. Those gin mill graduates life a happier one. It wasn’t always easy such as New York and Chicago. really knew how to spin a yarn. -, wasListen- though. The craving for a drink still The organization is ilsmpletely selfing to their speeches, Garrity also remained. But his sponsor, John, was suffieient. Every penny of jts fin2r’os touched by their honesty. They spoke always at hand to help him. comes from alcoholics themselves. (Outopenly about what he had long consid- Then Garrity became cocky. He hadn’t side individual contributions as high as ered to be deep dark drinking secrets. touched a drink for over six months, and $10,000 have been declined.) They spoke completely without shame, his law practice had begun to bbom. yet with a sure-footed understanding. One day as he was leaving court, after Far from a ouack outfit-A.A. does not And they all seemed to be happy indi- winning a $15,000 judgment, his client concern itself with prohibition or the viduals. A sense of challenge began to insisted on a little celebration. outlawing of drink-A.A. works hand in well up within Garrity. If they can stop “All right,” Garrity broke down. “Just hand with both church and psychiatric drinking, he thought, then I can too. one.” He forgot that as an alcoholic, groups in relieving the plight of alco- I’m no less a man thari they are. he was powerless to limit his intake of holics. In 1949, BilI W., its co-founder, alcohol. The one drink became several addressed the American Psychiatric As- After the meeting, when coffee and drinks. And before he knew it he was off sociation. “There seems safety in numcake were being served, Garrity told on a bender. bers,” he said in describing A.A. “Enough John: “I’d like to give this A.A. stuff a He woke up two days later, twisting sandbags muffie any dynamite. We think try.” and squirming in a bed. He had no idea we are a pretty secure, happy family.” “It won’t be easy,” John warned. where he was or how he had got there. A look in at any A.A. meeting is proof “Drinking isn’t easy either,” Garrity He sniffed the air and smelled paralde- of his point. In fact, at one recent meetsaid. hyde. Then he realized that he was in ing, an athletic man with a winning “Then I’ll be your ‘sponsor’ if you’d the alcoholic ward of a hospital. He smile was introduced as a highly suclike,” John volunteered. “I’ll explain the called over an orderly and gave him cessful trial advocate “in the very thirsty A.A. program to you. I’ll try and help John’s phone number. business” of 1aw. “My name is Gregory you get over the rough spots; any time When John arrived Garrity apolo- Garrity,” the speaker began in the trathat craving for a drink becomes too gized for his pitiful condition. “I’m sorry ditional A.A. manner, “and I’m an much, call me, night or day, and we’lI I let you down.” alcoholic. talk it over, Don’t forget, I’m a drunk “You didn’t let me down,” John said. “Five years ago I became sick and myself and I understand.” “You let yourself down. But don’t take tired of being sick and tired. It began “Oh, I don’t want to put you out any,” it too hard. Many of us have a slip or one night when I was standing in a gin Garrity said. two and backslide. \trle try and stand mill feeling sorry for myself. And there “You won’t.” John grinned. “You’ll on our own two feet and fall flat on our was this little refrain I used to sing: just be helping me keep sober too. That’s face instead. It’s not easy to admit to When Gregory GarritA jotned, tlte the way A.A. works.” yourself that you’re simply helpless bar. . .” As he walked home from the A.A. when it comes to alcohol. But it’s the At that point a newcomer, who had : meeting, Garrity was convinced that he truth. I’m that way. You’re that way. slunk into the back of the room. Iooked G

had an earnest desire to stop drinking. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” up and craned his neck forward. A

But almost automatically, he for.rnd his Several days later. Garrity left the The A.A. process of eonversion was way into a saloon. Eclore he knew it, hospital. He hasn’t torrched a drop of beginning asain. *TrrE Er$D 61