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What Does Crosstalk Have to do With Our Primary Purpose?
hat is this thing called “crosstalk”? Why are con Just w .A cerned A writing to the General .s Service Office for c larification about nd, bottom line, what does it have to do with our it? A primary purpose: “to stay sober and help other a lcoholics t o achieve sobriety”?
The word has been with us at least since 1887 .Webster’s 10th Edition defines crosstalk as “unwanted s ignals i n a communication channel caused by transference of energy from another circuit” as when, for instance, two members sitting side by side at an A.A. meeting n a carry o private, yet not so q uiet, conversation . r when one member i .. o nterrupts another rudely or i nappropriately. But this is not the kind f oc embers a rosstalk that m re asking about; t specifically, it is raceable t ehavior a o a list of guidelines for b t A .A. m eetings erroneously attributed to “World Service” that appears in 1992 in a central office newsletter and has s ice been reprinted and c n irculated more widely.
The guidelines state, i np art, that “Any comments, negative or positive, about a nother’s share, experience, life, program or remarks are crosstalk t hat is interfence re .”. . ” The only appropriate c omment a bout anyone else share a speaker’s or another member’s ‘s s i ank you for your share ‘h T ”A member may t .”‘ lk a a bou is or her own experience as it th re tes directly or indirectly to another’s s la ut should n hare, b ot r efer to t at person’s share. h Even comments s uch as ‘When y ou t lk a a ut . bo .. it reminded me of my own exper nce ie ‘ are possibly inapp priate ro .”
The s ocalled ui g id n delines d manate f ot e rom the General S r e vice Officehat r .W ndo a m investigation reveals is that they may have filtered into s . ome A . groups through members A who la so attend other Twelve Step r ecovery groups.For example:
(1) In its literature, one fellowship includes a boxed i ead, “Suggested Announcement tem h Regarding Crosstalk.. Feedback (adopted 12/13/87).” It r eads: “Isharing d n uring meetings, we proceed in an orderly, respectful m anner. The chairperson (or speaker) will c n all o people to share. We do not interrup tone another o r e ngage in discussionthis is c alled ‘crosstalk.’ Nor do we encourage expressions of i ith a speaker and dentification w appreciation for speakers, we also do not judge or comment on what people say or tell them what to d o t his is called ‘feedback.'”
nother anonymous organization, in is (2) A t” Suggested M eeting Format,” a sks attendees “to please not interrupt someone else’s sharing, not to make comments about other people ‘s statements ... and to talk only about yourself” Although many selfhelp r gups emulate A.A.’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, their o practices often differ from ours in t oer respects. As they may h h ave d iscovered in adapting the A.A. program to t eir own needs, w h hat’s sauce for the goose may be porson for te h gander. Says Anne T., of Rome ew York, who b ,N elongs to A.A. and also attends meetings
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of a different fellowship: “From the very beginning, o ne drunk t lking t a oanother has made the A.A. program go round. But in meetings (of the other fellowship), I feel, it makes sense to refrain from crosstalk eop .P are trying to free themselves f le rom extraordinary shame, when someone shares in response to something I’ve said, that’s okay, but only so long as there’s not even a h int o f censure, belittlement, scolding or preaching, all under the guise of sharing nowing there’s no risk of judgment makes m .K e f eel safe.”
Looking at the s ject from an . ub A .’s point of view A G.S . ,a .s O ember, s taff m ays, “Comparing notes, many of us realized that nonjudgmenta ls uggestions we had received in meetings, in response t o something we had shared, was very beneficial to our how we learn, and that’s what shARING experience, stRength and hope is all recovery. lt is a about. Also, there is thin line between guidelines and rules; and experience suggests that in A.A.’s ‘ ell.” benign anarchy,’ rules, rigIdly and attempts to control don’t work very w
Whether an i .A. group chooses to include the crosstalk ‘guidelines’ in its meet ndividual A g in format is entirely up to its group conscience to determine, of course. But please do not say that such guidelines came from the General Service Office.
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