On​ ​Bill’s​ ​Depression

I​ ​do​ ​not​ ​claim​ ​any​ ​insight​ ​regarding​ ​the​ ​nature​ ​of​ ​Bill​ ​W.’s​ ​depressions,​ ​be​ ​they​ ​mental​ ​or physical,​ ​beyond​ ​how​ ​others​ ​or​ ​Bill​ ​himself​ ​have​ ​described​ ​them.​ ​I’d​ ​rather​ ​choose​ ​to​ ​rely upon​ ​such​ ​sources​ ​such​ ​as​ ​these:​ ​The​ ​Soul​ ​of​ ​Sponsorship​ ​by​ ​Robert​ ​Fitzgerald,​ ​SJ.,​ ​Grateful To​ ​Have​ ​Been​ ​There​ ​by​ ​Nell​ ​Wing,​ ​or​ ​My​ ​Search​ ​For​ ​Bill​ ​W.​by​ ​Mel​ ​B.

Quoting​ ​from​ ​the​ ​last​ ​of​ ​those​ ​three​ ​books​ ​from​ ​a​ ​letter​ ​Bill​ ​W.​ ​wrote​ ​to​ ​Mel​ ​on​ ​July​ ​2,​ ​1956 (page​ ​22):

“Practically​ ​all​ ​the​ ​things​ ​I​ ​didn’t​ ​have​ ​time​ ​for​ ​when​ ​drinking,​ ​I’ve​ ​since​ ​fallen​ ​for.​ ​In​ ​the​ ​last twelve​ ​years​ ​of​ ​life,​ ​despite​ ​all​ ​my​ ​blessings​ ​and​ ​opportunities,​ ​I​ ​have​ ​spent​ ​eight​ ​in depression,​ ​sometimes​ ​very​ ​severe​ ​ones​ ​.​ ​.​ ​.​ ​The​ ​depressions​ ​kept​ ​me​ ​off​ ​the​ ​road​ ​and​ ​from making​ ​speeches.​ ​In​ ​fact,​ ​I​ ​was​ ​forced​ ​to​ ​sit​ ​home​ ​and​ ​ask​ ​what​ ​would​ ​become​ ​of​ ​A.A.​ ​and what​ ​would​ ​become​ ​of​ ​me.​ ​The​ ​result​ ​was​ ​the​ ​Twelve​ ​Traditions​ ​of​ ​Alcoholics​ ​Anonymous and​ ​the​ ​present​ ​world​ ​service​ ​structure.​ ​And​ ​maybe​ ​I​ ​grew​ ​up​ ​a​ ​little​ ​myself​ ​also–at​ ​any​ ​rate, let’s​ ​hope.”

This​ ​letter​ ​concludes​ ​with​ ​this​ ​very​ ​striking​ ​sentence,​ ​which​ ​described​ ​Bill’s​ ​dilemma​ ​as​ ​well as​ ​I’ve​ ​read​ ​regarding​ ​a​ ​possible​ ​background​ ​for​ ​at​ ​least​ ​some​ ​of​ ​his​ ​depressions:​ ​”And​ ​I​ ​do hope,​ ​for​ ​another​ ​thing–the​ ​really​ ​impossible–​ ​that​ ​someday​ ​this​ ​society​ ​will​ ​let​ ​me​ ​become just​ ​a​ ​plain​ ​member.”

I​ ​cannot​ ​respond​ ​to​ ​an​ ​assertion​ ​that​ ​Bill​ ​”takes​ ​the​ ​grand​ ​tour”​ ​since​ ​I​ ​don’t​ ​understand​ ​what these​ ​words​ ​are​ ​supposed​ ​to​ ​mean.​ ​If​ ​anything,​ ​I​ ​have​ ​a​ ​hunch​ ​that​ ​during​ ​some​ ​of​ ​his​ ​travels prior​ ​to​ ​July​ ​of​ ​1944,​ ​he​ ​was​ ​receiving​ ​excessive​ ​publicity​ ​and​ ​praise​ ​in​ ​the​ ​newspapers​ ​in​ ​the cities​ ​he​ ​was​ ​visiting.​ ​Here​ ​in​ ​Atlanta,​ ​we​ ​have​ ​a​ ​newspaper​ ​article​ ​from​ ​his​ ​late​ ​July​ ​visit​ ​in 1942​ ​with​ ​a​ ​description​ ​underneath​ ​his​ ​picture​ ​that​ ​he​ ​”Doesn’t​ ​Get​ ​Drunk​ ​Anymore.”​ ​After his​ ​visit​ ​in​ ​late​ ​May​ ​of​ ​1944,​ ​an​ ​editorial​ ​is​ ​written​ ​about​ ​him​ ​which​ ​in​ ​part​ ​asserted:​ ​”Bill’s story​ ​of​ ​how​ ​that​ ​higher​ ​power–how​ ​God​ ​came​ ​to​ ​him​ ​in​ ​that​ ​hospital​ ​room​ ​when​ ​he​ ​cried aloud​ ​for​ ​help,​ ​is​ ​one​ ​of​ ​the​ ​most​ ​tremendous​ ​stories​ ​ever​ ​told.”​ ​Pretty​ ​heady​ ​stuff,​ ​don’t​ ​you think?​ ​His​ ​depressions​ ​started​ ​sometime​ ​in​ ​1944​ ​as​ ​documented​ ​by​ ​his​ ​own​ ​words​ ​as​ ​he wrote​ ​to​ ​Mel​ ​B.,​ ​but​ ​I​ ​should​ ​not​ ​presume​ ​to​ ​know​ ​what​ ​started​ ​them​ ​or​ ​how​ ​to​ ​improve​ ​on what​ ​others​ ​have​ ​documented.

Gary​ ​Neidhardt Lilburn,​ ​Georgia Area​ ​16​ ​Archives​ ​Chair​ ​(outgoing) I