Bill’s Original Story Inventory Process

This is what my friend suggested I do. One: Turn my face to God as I understand Him and say to Him with earnestness complete honesty and abandon that I henceforth place my life at His disposal and direction forever. TWO: that I do this in the presence of another person, who should be one in whom I have confidence and if I be a member of a religious organization, then with an appropriate member of that body.

TWO: Having taken this first step, I should next prepare myself for God’s Company by taking a thorough and ruthless inventory of my moral defects and derelictions. This I should do without any reference to other people and their real or fancied part in my shortcomings should be rigorously excluded”

Where have I failed is the prime question. I was to go over my life from the beginning and ascertain in the light of my own present understanding where I had failed as a completely moral person. Above all things in making this appraisal I must be entirely honest with myself. As an aid to thoroughness and as something to look at when I got through I might use pencil and paper. First take the question of honesty. Where, how and with whom had I ever been dishonest? With respect to anything. What attitudes and actions did I still have which were not completely honest with God with myself or with the other fellow. I was warned that no one can say that he is a completely honest person. That would be superhuman and people aren’t that way.

Nor should I be misled by the thought of how honest I am in some particulars. I was to ruthlessly tear out of the past all of my dishonesty and list them in writing. Next I was to explore another area somewhat related to the first and commonly a very defective one in most people. I was to examine my sex conduct since infancy and rigorously compare it with what I thought that conduct should have been. My friend explained to me that people’s ideas throughout the world on what constitutes perfect sex conduct vary greatly. Consequently, I was not to measure my defects in this particular by adopting any standard of easy virtue as a measuring stick, I was merely to ask God to show me the difference between right and wrong in this regard and ask for help and strength and honesty in cataloguing my defects according to the true dictates of my own conscience. Then I might take up the related questions of greed and selfishness and thoughtlessness. How far and in what connection had I strayed and was I straying in these particulars?

I was assured I could make a good long list if I got honest enough and vigorous enough. Then there was the question of real love for all of my fellows including my family, my friends and my enemies. Had I been completely loving toward all of these at all times and places. If not, down in the book it must go and of course everyone could put plenty down along that line. (Resentments, self pity, fear, pride) my friend pointed out that resentment, self pity, fear, inferiority, pride and egotism, were things, attitudes, which distorted ones perspective

and usefulness. To entertain such sentiments and attitudes was to shut oneself off from God and people about us.

Therefore it would be necessary for me to examine myself critically in this respect and write down my conclusions. Step number three required that I carefully go over my personal inventory and definitely arrive at the conclusion that I was now willing to rid myself of all these defects moreover I was to understand that this would not be accomplished by myself alone. Therefore I was to humbly ask God that he take these handicaps away. To make sure that I had become really honest in this desire, I should sit down with whatever person I chose and reveal to him without any reservations whatever the result of my self appraisal.

From this point out I was to stop living alone in every particular. Thus was I to rid keep myself free in the future of those things which shut out God’s power, It was explained that I had been standing in my own light, my spiritual interior had been like a room darkened by very dirty windows and this was an undertaking to wipe them off and keep them clean. Thus was my housekeeping to be accomplished, it would be difficult to be really honest with myself and God and perhaps to be completely honest with another person by telling another the truth, I could however be absolutely sure that my self searching had been honest and Effective.

Moreover I would be taking my first spiritual step towards my fellows for something I might say could be helpful in leading the person to whom I talked a better understanding of himself. In this fashion I would commence to break down the barriers which my many forms of self will had erected. Warning was given me that I should select a person who would be in no way injured or offended by what I had to say, for I could not expect to commence my spiritual growth at the expense of another.

My friend told me that this step was complete, I would surely feel a tremendous sense of relieve accompanying by the absolute conviction that I was on the right road at last.