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On 25 June 2004 13:05:47 Stepp wrote
There is a sure fire way to eliminate the riff raff ,the courtordered, the addicts and other bums from AA. It’s already going on in many areas of the country and shall prove the ultimate salvation of the seed corn of AA. It is private meetings that are invitation only.
ALCOHOLICS GO UNDERGROUND
God Reported Missing Presumed To Be With Dissident Members of Alcoholics Anonymous
Sober alcoholics went out of sight today without fanfare or press releases. GSO/AAWS Headquarters are baffled by the disappearance of oldtimers, newcomers, meetings, donations, literature purchases and stale donuts. Cities that once had hundreds of meetings are now wondering where to send the homeless, lonely and convicted felons for an hour. Recovery homes are at a loss for where to bus and dump their chemical dependent clients for a meeting and a dance. Megabuck Treatment Facilities such as “Dazzle ‘Em” in the Midwest and “Camp Pretty Bored” on the Left Coast are particularly worried about celebrities and Rock Stars not having anyplace to break their anonymity in a Fellowship they can’t find.
Curiously, First and Second Editions of the Big Book have vanished from thrift shop shelves and libraries. An unconfirmed rumorsuggests that these public domain, arcane artifacts are being reprinted and given away FREE to suffering alcoholics.
Spokesfolks for the MultiNational Publishing Empire jetted into New York City from Cuba, Japan and the Cayman Islands scratching their heads. “Purse Strings” whispered that efforts to become Anything Anonymous might have been a factor. “Brass Baby Shoes”, a medical consultant and vaudeville performer, held out hope that the IV druggers and pillheads could save the day. “Glorious Staph”, as she is lovingly known around the water cooler, still thought that neutered gender and the Goddess were splendid ideas, but they just didn’t fly very high or very far over Akron, OH. A corporate lawyer type known only as “Mr Suits” took the Fifth. . . . both of them (The Amendment and a bottle of vodka).
No real alcoholics were available for comment. There was, however, a cryptic postitnote found on the door of an abandoned meeting hall that said:
“If You Want Us, We Will Find You.”
End of preserved source document.
