Transcript

[00:00.1 – 00:05.0] To the man that I'm going to introduce, you could stand here for a long, long time. [00:05.0 – 00:09.5] I've been fortunate in knowing Ebby for seventeen years. [00:09.5 – 00:11.5] That's the length of time I know Bill, too. [00:11.5 – 00:14.7] I met Ebby seventeen years ago. [00:14.7 – 00:19.4] Bill met him almost twenty-four years ago. [00:19.4 – 00:29.7] Fate, call it what you will, grace of God, but it were not for the man that you're about to hear, [00:29.7 – 00:39.7] we wouldn't be having this meeting tonight because he's the first guy that brought the message to our [00:39.7 – 00:40.3] boy, Bill. [00:40.3 – 00:51.0] If you've read the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, and I know that most of you have, in there you'll hear in Bill's story always referring [00:51.0 – 00:52.3] to my friend. [00:52.3 – 01:02.5] And then in the later book, describing Alcoholics Anonymous and other stories that just came out some short time ago, the name Ebby [01:02.5 – 01:03.6] then comes out. [01:03.6 – 01:08.5] But always in the first book, you'll hear him referred to as my friend. [01:08.5 – 01:18.7] Should you hear a lot of us at different times and in different parts of the count-country quoting, uh, how Bill came in, how [01:18.7 – 01:30.5] the organization or the fellowship started, there's only one man in the world tonight who knows exactly how [01:30.5 – 01:34.1] it started because he was sober and Bill was drunk. [01:34.1 – 01:43.8] So I give you my friend and your friend, our founder, Ebby. [01:43.8 – 01:53.5] Thank you, Dick. [01:53.5 – 01:58.2] As Dick told you, my name is Ebby, and I'm an alcoholic. [01:58.2 – 02:02.6] I know I just thought of that myself. [02:02.6 – 02:12.6] When Dick asked me over here, I was very glad to come because I wondered, "Who's running an outfit of people?" When I had my idea, I [02:12.6 – 02:17.6] was one of two or three speakers, and I didn't know I was going to hold this thing down for forty or forty-five minutes. [02:17.6 – 02:21.6] And back home in Dallas, I'm known as the world's shortest speaker. [02:21.6 – 02:26.3] They usually back there, I was given a choice of the ten-minute and fifteen-minute spots. [02:26.3 – 02:33.1] So I don't know just how I'm going to go about holding down for forty-five minutes, but I'll do the best I can. [02:33.1 – 02:42.7] And as I said, I've been living in Texas for five years now, and maybe I've gotten enough of that Texas braggadocio somewhere in my system. [02:42.7 – 02:45.4] Maybe I will soil some of it so I can pull something right out of the hat. [02:45.4 – 02:55.9] And the story I heard a year or two after I got in Dallas, it's, you know, a trickle of my fancy, and I hope you'll [02:55.9 – 02:56.8] indulge me and let me tell it. [02:56.8 – 03:01.0] And the Texas rancher drove over to his nearest neighbor. [03:01.0 – 03:11.0] It was about fifteen miles, and said, "What do you say we go to town and make a deal of it?" The guy said, "All right." Got his hat and he got in [03:11.0 – 03:12.1] the car, and he started out. [03:12.1 – 03:22.1] As soon as they got outside of the ranch house, they opened up the first of bourbon, had a good long pull on the bottle, and the first guy said, "You know, I shipped two [03:22.1 – 03:32.1] thousand bulls from Salt Lake to Billings for you yesterday." Now, from the story, they drove on a while and they came to a gate, and they had to open that, and they had another pull at the bottle, and [03:32.1 – 03:42.4] the second guy said, "Well, you know, I shipped twenty-five hundred bulls from my side four or five days ago." So they drove on, and just before they got to the main state highway, [03:42.4 – 03:55.4] they stopped for a third good hocker, and the, the first rancher said again, "You know, I think we're the two biggest bullshitters in Texas." And [03:55.4 – 03:59.5] I hope I have a quarter of that so I can throw it out tonight. [03:59.5 – 04:10.1] I know that Dick and Jim Drake and some of the other boys wanted me to tell you some of the beginnings of AO [04:10.1 – 04:11.7] as I experienced them. [04:11.7 – 04:21.7] And, you know, I think that I appreciate the things that Dick has said and other people have said about me, but I sometimes think that my chief claim [04:21.7 – 04:25.8] to fame is around Exhibit A in the antique division of Alcoholics Anonymous. [04:25.8 – 04:27.7] That's about it. [04:27.7 – 04:33.9] Well, I got to go back to some of my beginnings. [04:33.9 – 04:37.7] I started drinking when I was in school. [04:37.7 – 04:40.8] I come from Albany, New York. [04:40.8 – 04:42.6] It's my native town. [04:42.6 – 04:48.4] Went to a private school there, and I started drinking that last year. [04:48.4 – 04:55.2] I seemed to have it under control pretty well, but I did get off on a wild party one night. [04:55.2 – 05:02.3] It was a military school, and we had a, a competitive drill, and after the drill, we all went out and had a somewhat… [05:02.3 – 05:03.2] Went out and got drunk. [05:03.2 – 05:07.0] And we got in a mess, and the principal of the school heard about it. [05:07.0 – 05:17.6] But nothing was said, but I, uh, yeah, I wasn't very well that spring, and they took me out of school before school [05:17.6 – 05:18.1] was over. [05:18.1 – 05:21.5] And that summer, the principal wrote to my father, and he always called me Ed. [05:21.5 – 05:23.1] He didn't call me Ebby or Eb. [05:23.1 – 05:31.5] He said, "I don't think we can do anything more for Ed." Which meant that he was just, uh, throwing me from the school. [05:31.5 – 05:38.0] So that fall, my father said, "You're going to work in the foundry." My father happened to be in the iron foundry business. [05:38.0 – 05:45.1] So I went to work that fall, and, uh, I confined my drinking to Saturday nights. [05:45.1 – 05:47.6] Naturally, I had to get up at six o'clock to go down. [05:47.6 – 05:48.3] I worked in the… [05:48.3 – 05:52.2] as a molder's helper, which was fairly rugged work, as you may know. [05:52.2 – 06:02.2] And I did that for a year, and I confined most of my drinking to Saturday nights, except around Christmas time when all the dances were going on and Then I really stepped out, and [06:02.2 – 06:04.3] I remember I hardly go to work. [06:04.3 – 06:11.4] It was drinking, the dancing, and getting down to work at seven o'clock in the morning when I was young, and you shake it off and work it off like night. [06:11.4 – 06:15.8] And I managed to get away with it for a while. [06:15.8 – 06:23.5] But as I look back and remember those times, I wasn't a very successful drinker from the start. [06:23.5 – 06:32.9] There were times, too, when I'd take some of the older guys around Albany home, and other times I'd be climbing a chandelier after three or four drinks. [06:32.9 – 06:34.1] I never knew what was going to happen. [06:34.1 – 06:44.1] Fact of the matter is, when I was about 15 years old, I remember putting a lot of thought into this business of drinking because [06:44.1 – 06:45.2] it was in my family. [06:45.2 – 06:49.2] My brothers drank pretty heavily, and my father did. [06:49.2 – 06:59.2] And, uh, I kind of figured that if they drank that way, and it wasn't any good for them, then it was no good for me either [06:59.2 – 07:03.5] because I was just about the same temperament as they were. [07:03.5 – 07:12.4] But it was that first drink that I ever took on my own when I walked into the bar of the Hotel Tananac in Albany and ordered a glass of beer all by myself, and I was a big shot. [07:12.4 – 07:16.6] And I still say that was the very best glass of beer I ever tasted. [07:16.6 – 07:19.1] Sometimes I can almost taste it again. [07:19.1 – 07:27.6] And somehow that, that just gave me just a faint glow, and, uh, of course, beer was a lot stronger in those days, and it was real beer. [07:27.6 – 07:32.3] That was about 1914, I think. [07:32.3 – 07:33.1] 19… [07:33.1 – 07:34.6] Yes, it was 1914. [07:34.6 – 07:44.8] And I know that I said to myself, "This is for me." And soon after that, when I started drinking, [07:44.8 – 07:47.2] I kept it down pretty well at two or three drinks. [07:47.2 – 07:57.2] I used to go out, uh, of an evening, I'd spring, um, um, this friend of mine, I went to school with, he called me up and [07:57.2 – 07:58.4] asked me if I had my lessons done. [07:58.4 – 08:02.6] I said, "Sure." He used to get to school because the family was sitting in the room. [08:02.6 – 08:05.2] And I said, "Sure, Andy, I'll go out and have a chocolate milk with you. [08:05.2 – 08:09.4] I got time." And we were five on chocolate milks. [08:09.4 – 08:13.1] But I managed to get home by 11 o'clock so there was nobody to know anything about it. [08:13.1 – 08:19.6] But I know the effect and the taste of alcohol was, was fascinating to me from the beginning. [08:19.6 – 08:29.8] And later on, I read a book called The Common Sense of Drinking, from which a lot of OA was taken, by Dick Peabody. [08:29.8 – 08:37.9] He's now dead, but he was one of the first of the lay therapists that had a tremendous following of alcoholics. [08:37.9 – 08:41.7] A lot of other books have been written by a lot of his pupils. [08:41.7 – 08:45.7] The Glass Crack is one of them by Dutch Chambers, and I can name a half a dozen. [08:45.7 – 08:46.8] I can't think of them right now. [08:46.8 – 08:57.1] But he said in that book that the difference between an alcoholic and a heavy drinker was that the heavy drinker [08:57.1 – 09:07.2] might drink just as much in a given night as the alcoholic, but the next day was another day to him, and he went to work, and his first thing in the, awakening in the [09:07.2 – 09:08.4] morning was the office. [09:08.4 – 09:15.1] While the first thought that the alcoholic had was of the night before, and where could he get the next drink to get, bring that party back again? [09:15.1 – 09:18.6] And that always appealed to me because that's the way I was. [09:18.6 – 09:23.0] I'd forget business and want to get somewhere where I could get with the gang again. [09:23.0 – 09:28.1] And it was the effect of alcohol on people of your type. [09:28.1 – 09:29.3] It's too fascinating. [09:29.3 – 09:30.2] You can't handle it. [09:30.2 – 09:33.9] Oh, pick up. [09:33.9 – 09:33.9] No. [09:33.9 – 09:36.9] He's talking to the secretary. [09:36.9 – 09:38.8] All right. [09:38.8 – 09:49.0] But I knew that, but I knew then that, um, coupled with the drinking in my family, [09:49.0 – 09:56.3] I figured out that I better lay, should stay away from it, but I never did once I had that drink. [09:56.3 – 10:00.5] Well, the time went on, I, of course, got into a lot more trouble. [10:00.5 – 10:05.2] And, uh, the family business broke up. [10:05.2 – 10:06.4] It was one of those things, too. [10:06.4 – 10:11.3] It'd been running since 1852, and it broke up in 1922. [10:11.3 – 10:20.6] And I was more or less on the loose and going from one job to another and getting in more trouble all the time. [10:20.6 – 10:22.0] My drinking was increasing. [10:22.0 – 10:29.1] I didn't get overseas in World War I, but I was in the outfit that was stationed around right in my hometown of Albany. [10:29.1 – 10:39.2] And in the state army there, I, I got to be a second lieutenant in this outfit, and we always had a jug in the officer's quarters because [10:39.2 – 10:42.3] there was a druggist in one of the corners right near the army. [10:42.3 – 10:48.3] And all, and sometimes all I wanted was to get a bottle of whiskey, and we could get it because those were the days of prescriptions. [10:48.3 – 10:55.7] Doctor would issue you a prescription during prohibition, and you'd go in and get this pint of whiskey. [10:55.7 – 10:57.0] But we got it all in order. [10:57.0 – 11:00.3] We got that john, john jug filled repeatedly. [11:00.3 – 11:04.8] And there was a pretty two-fisted drinking crowd, and they were all older than I was. [11:04.8 – 11:08.6] And finally, uh, we got into a jam one night. [11:08.6 – 11:15.7] We got in a taxi wreck, and I, oh, just got superficial cuts on my, both wrists and face. [11:15.7 – 11:18.4] But I was kind of a bloody mess. [11:18.4 – 11:19.6] It was just bleeding a lot. [11:19.6 – 11:20.4] My father came in. [11:20.4 – 11:31.3] I was sitting on the bed, and he said, "You get out of that National Guard tomorrow morning, and sir, you leave my house." Well, I didn't feel like leaving his house right then, so late [11:31.3 – 11:36.7] that afternoon, I walked up and told the captain I was going to resign, request to be put on reserve. [11:36.7 – 11:41.2] So that ended my National Guard career and that phase of the drinking. [11:41.2 – 11:47.2] Well, things got worse, and my father, my mother died in '27, my father in '29. [11:47.2 – 11:52.1] And, uh, I was kicking around then pretty bad. [11:52.1 – 11:54.4] I inherited some money from my father. [11:54.4 – 11:59.4] I should have had sense enough to take care of it, but I didn't. [11:59.4 – 12:06.9] I lost half of it overnight in the stock market crash, and the rest I just put down the drain over a period of a year, year and a half. [12:06.9 – 12:13.9] And we used to summer in Vermont, and it was there that I met Bill Wilson. [12:13.9 – 12:18.8] But it was longer ago than twenty-four years ago. [12:18.8 – 12:20.9] I first knew Bill about nineteen hundred and ten. [12:20.9 – 12:26.0] I went to school with him in nineteen twelve, which would take us back quite a few years. [12:26.0 – 12:35.3] And, well, to get back, I, we went to summers in Manchester, Vermont. [12:35.3 – 12:40.1] Well, after my father died, the house was vacant up there. [12:40.1 – 12:44.9] We bought a house after all the years that Father had spent money at the hotel for all of us. [12:44.9 – 12:49.9] He bought a house in nineteen twenty-three, and in nineteen twenty-nine, he died, and the house was empty. [12:49.9 – 12:51.8] All my other brothers were married. [12:51.8 – 12:56.1] Father died without a will, so they just divided up the place, and what's come for me. [12:56.1 – 12:58.8] And I had one room furnished in that house, and the rest was bare. [12:58.8 – 13:04.9] And I was living there all alone, drinking heavily all the time. [13:04.9 – 13:15.1] Got to living, and we jump now, we're gonna get up to the summer of nineteen hundred and thirty-four, which is twenty-four years [13:15.1 – 13:15.9] ago. [13:15.9 – 13:18.4] And I'd been in the throes of the law twice that summer. [13:18.4 – 13:27.8] I'd gotten drunk, gotten arrested for being drunk and disorderly, fined five dollars or something like that. [13:27.8 – 13:37.8] And the things were in Vermont at that time, I don't know whether the law is still on the statute books or not, but if you got arrested three times, anyone giving you for drunkenness, it [13:37.8 – 13:39.6] meant six months in the windows stayed closing. [13:39.6 – 13:44.0] Well, I was getting drunk right along. [13:44.0 – 13:54.6] One time I got drunk, and I still don't know exactly how it happened, but I was in my own house, and apparently somebody got out a wire for me. [13:54.6 – 13:58.7] I, I fail to see yet what I was doing as, as I was on my own property. [13:58.7 – 14:08.0] But, uh, one of the boys, a boy who was constable at the time was a guy that I'd been to school with in nineteen twelve, the same year that I went to school with Bill Wilson. [14:08.0 – 14:18.6] I forgot to say that I went to a private school in Albany, but this one year I went up there in Vermont in nineteen twelve, in the fall of nineteen twelve, to [14:18.6 – 14:20.8] go to that school for one year and then back to my other. [14:20.8 – 14:25.4] And this other boy, John Jackson, he was constable. [14:25.4 – 14:28.3] And I woke up that time the next day. [14:28.3 – 14:35.4] Well, I went up to sit on the store, the steps of the hardware store to talk with the owner of it. [14:35.4 – 14:37.8] Just then John drove up and said, "Sorry, Mr. [14:37.8 – 14:40.2] Levy, but I got a warrant for you. [14:40.2 – 14:42.4] Got to take you down to Burlington," he said, "the county seat. [14:42.4 – 14:43.9] He's taking me down to see the judge. [14:43.9 – 14:49.0] And, uh, judge says to be back Monday. [14:49.0 – 14:59.3] They're really unsure what they can do about you." Well, I've got to give him a story because the fall of, I'd say late in July [14:59.3 – 15:05.5] or the first part of August, two men came to see me, two fellows that I had drunk with often. [15:05.5 – 15:09.0] And one of them happened to be the son of this judge. [15:09.0 – 15:12.1] His name is Seabury Graves, and he now lives in Paris, France. [15:12.1 – 15:16.0] And the other one's Shep Cornell, and I don't know just where he is. [15:16.0 – 15:17.4] I think he's somewhere in Ohio. [15:17.4 – 15:23.5] And, uh, I had a hangover, of course, and these two guys wandered around. [15:23.5 – 15:26.0] I was out in back somewhere in the kitchen, I guess. [15:26.0 – 15:32.2] So I remember they came up the back steps, and they, uh, started. [15:32.2 – 15:37.0] They, they didn't know exactly how to begin on me because they remembered me, and I had a lot of fun with me drinking. [15:37.0 – 15:40.4] And I thought I had something on my mind. [15:40.4 – 15:42.2] So I said, "Well, what, what do you got on your mind? [15:42.2 – 15:52.3] What's, what's cooking?" And they said, "Well, we came to come see you so we can get somehow get in your head about something." [15:52.3 – 15:56.4] I said, "You mean about my drinking?" And they said, "Yeah. [15:56.4 – 15:57.7] And I'm getting in your way. [15:57.7 – 16:00.5] I understand you're in and out all the time. [16:00.5 – 16:03.2] And we just sort of… [16:03.2 – 16:13.2] Well, we just sort of, we got mixed up with a group called the Oxford Group, and we think that you could [16:13.2 – 16:14.4] get help if you drink no more." [16:16.3 – 16:26.4] And they said, "Do you ever think of letting God run your life instead of Lady Thatcher trying to run it all the time?" And that really caught sense, although actually it didn't even seem to me [16:26.4 – 16:34.4] that they were just telling me things that I had been taught in my childhood about the right way of living. [16:34.4 – 16:44.2] And I said, "Well, gee, if these two guys have got something out of this, maybe there's hope for me," because I'd just about given up hope. [16:44.2 – 16:47.3] And I tell you, I was willing to quit drinking, but I didn't know how. [16:47.3 – 16:48.5] Excuse me. [16:48.5 – 16:49.9] I didn't know how to do it. [16:49.9 – 16:57.9] So I listened to them, and they left me a book by one of these men in the Oxford Group. [16:57.9 – 17:05.8] I don't recall the name of that book now, but in it I could see myself staring out of those pages. [17:05.8 – 17:13.6] Now, the Oxford Group, let me explain, was not concentrated on alcohol, alcoholism. [17:13.6 – 17:24.1] It was a spiritual group that was founded by a minister from Pennsylvania named Frank Buchman, B-U-C-H-M-A-N. [17:24.1 – 17:34.1] It got its name, Oxford Group, because Buchman got a lot of people interested, and they in turn went abroad, and they went to England and Oxford University, and [17:34.1 – 17:35.5] they got a lot of people interested over there. [17:35.5 – 17:42.3] And from there they went to South Africa, and they got quite a big meeting down there. [17:42.3 – 17:44.3] I don't know if it was Cape Town or one of those cities. [17:44.3 – 17:53.5] And the reporters referred to them as the group from Oxford, and the damn name stuck, and they didn't know what to do with it because the group was founded in anything in the world. [17:53.5 – 17:58.8] But just like those things happen, that's the name that stuck with it, and it was called the Oxford Group. [17:58.8 – 18:03.1] And they, they were really trying to find something. [18:03.1 – 18:10.5] It was that time in 1929 when the crash had come on Wall Street, and the, the nation was kind of a low point economically. [18:10.5 – 18:18.5] A lot of people were hopping out of windows in New York, and that's no joke because there were a lot of them hit those manholes head-on from the thirtieth floor. [18:18.5 – 18:24.2] And a lot of people were drinking terribly, and they wanted to find something in this Oxford Group. [18:24.2 – 18:28.8] A lot of people came around to it, and of course a good many of them happened to be alcoholics. [18:28.8 – 18:39.3] And don't ever let yourself think that nobody but an alcoholic can help an alcoholic because there were a lot of men in this group who were well understanding [18:39.3 – 18:44.3] and had a damn good knowledge of the thinkings of an alcoholic's mind. [18:44.3 – 18:49.8] And I sometimes think that our, our minds are no different than anybody else in this world. [18:49.8 – 18:53.0] We just give in to things that other people do not. [18:53.0 – 18:57.0] Well, anyway, that idea appealed to me. [18:57.0 – 19:03.4] I read the book, and I sobered up for a few days, and I had started to paint the house. [19:03.4 – 19:07.7] But I had a ladder that was too short, and I couldn't get up to all these places. [19:07.7 – 19:14.7] And I made a deal with a boss painter, and he sent around one of his men with some equipment and material to finish the house. [19:14.7 – 19:17.2] I didn't touch a drop all that time. [19:17.2 – 19:20.0] But the minute that job was over, sure, I went right back to bottle. [19:20.0 – 19:22.5] It was nothing more than interesting. [19:22.5 – 19:23.3] It was a letdown. [19:23.3 – 19:33.4] When it was done, I meant being the rest of the thing in the house that I was picked up and taken to this county [19:33.4 – 19:33.9] judge. [19:33.9 – 19:42.6] There's one thing that sticks in my mind, and it always was, and I knew it was at that time. [19:42.6 – 19:44.8] It may not mean anything to you. [19:44.8 – 19:47.7] It may not get what I mean by it. [19:47.7 – 19:54.9] But as we drove home that afternoon, this constable, John Jackson, left me off at the house that I was living in. [19:54.9 – 20:01.1] And he said, "Well, I'll be around to get you Monday." This was Friday. [20:01.1 – 20:11.2] And he said, "Remember, the judge said to be sober." And I said, "Yep, I'll be sober." So I went in the house, and I remembered in the downstairs [20:11.2 – 20:14.9] I had about a half a dozen bottles of ale, and I know that they're going to be nice and cool. [20:14.9 – 20:19.7] And there's one thing I like in this world is Valentine's Ale, and that was it. [20:19.7 – 20:29.8] So I went downstairs, and I said to myself, "I can't possibly get drunk between now and Monday [20:29.8 – 20:33.9] on six bottles of ale." And I know that nobody in town is going to sell me any more after they've heard of that. [20:33.9 – 20:36.5] You know what a small, remote community it is. [20:36.5 – 20:39.9] Everybody from ten miles up and down the valley knows all about anything like that. [20:39.9 – 20:44.6] And I knew that none of, any of the bootleggers wouldn't sell me anything. [20:44.6 – 20:49.2] And I got down, and I reached for one of those bottles, and uh-uh, I didn't crack it. [20:49.2 – 20:53.9] So like the judge said to get there sober, well, did you be there sober? [20:53.9 – 20:55.9] No, that, that is, that's cheating somehow. [20:55.9 – 20:59.4] And I walked back upstairs, and that damn devil got to me. [20:59.4 – 20:59.9] Sure he did. [20:59.9 – 21:02.3] I'll go on down there and take it. [21:02.3 – 21:04.4] I couldn't take that damn ale. [21:04.4 – 21:09.8] I said, "No, that's not the, that's not the spirit of the thing. [21:09.8 – 21:12.4] It might be technically all right. [21:12.4 – 21:13.3] I get there sober. [21:13.3 – 21:15.8] That's technically, well, that's not exactly what he meant. [21:15.8 – 21:27.1] He didn't say don't take a drink, but that's exactly what he meant." So I took them and put them in a basket and carried them over to my next-door neighbor, and I said, "Here, they're yours." And [21:27.1 – 21:29.4] that minute I had a victory. [21:29.4 – 21:30.0] I know that. [21:30.0 – 21:33.3] I had something that was just like a weight being lifted from my shoulders. [21:33.3 – 21:42.8] And I've often thought about it in later years when I started drinking again, why I couldn't recapture that feeling that I had then. [21:42.8 – 21:53.1] But perhaps that's sort of the pink clouds, and later on you, you get a more [21:53.1 – 21:56.7] mature, if I may use the word, outlook. [21:56.7 – 22:01.4] But I don't think if you have a slip, you can ever go back again. [22:01.4 – 22:07.9] Well, as it turned out, I went down there Monday, and there had been a third man come to see me, too. [22:07.9 – 22:10.8] His name was Roland Hazard. [22:10.8 – 22:14.5] Now, he was a police sergeant, too. [22:14.5 – 22:15.8] I never knew him. [22:15.8 – 22:16.7] I never met him before. [22:16.7 – 22:18.0] These other two guys I had. [22:18.0 – 22:24.1] And he was all on Monday when I was brought before the judge. [22:24.1 – 22:35.0] The judge said, "Give me a little lecture." And he said, "Hazel, will you, uh, take this man?" And I said, "Sure." So [22:35.0 – 22:40.3] I was released in my own recognizance, and the charges were dropped. [22:40.3 – 22:43.9] And this guy took me in, took me back home, left me there. [22:43.9 – 22:46.9] And a few days later, I closed the house up, went downstairs with him. [22:46.9 – 22:50.9] He lived about 15 miles below, south of the town. [22:50.9 – 22:54.5] And then we went on down to New York. [22:54.5 – 22:59.8] And I stayed with Chuck Cornell and one of these other chaps that had come to see me. [22:59.8 – 23:02.2] I stayed there about a month, I guess. [23:02.2 – 23:09.7] And, uh, during that time, we made trips back to Vermont, Hazel and I. [23:09.7 – 23:19.7] And two weeks after I was connected with this Oxford Group, by which there's a much looser membership than Alcoholics Anonymous, I really think, uh, [23:19.7 – 23:21.0] they got me out speaking. [23:21.0 – 23:25.4] The first weekend that I went out speaking, we went up through Vermont. [23:25.4 – 23:35.2] I spoke in a junior college, two churches, a town meeting hall, and someplace else all in two nights, two afternoons and two nights. [23:35.2 – 23:38.0] And I still don't know what I talked about. [23:38.0 – 23:48.2] But I just felt good about the whole thing and, uh, really figured that these guys must have something, that there must be a higher power because everyone [23:48.2 – 23:57.1] that originated these, these shows, uh, believe in a higher God or a higher power as you understand them. [23:57.1 – 24:05.9] And it was while I was doing this and, and, uh, going back to New York, and I heard about Bill. [24:05.9 – 24:07.9] I hadn't seen Bill, I don't believe, for over a year. [24:07.9 – 24:16.7] Although Bill, you see, was born and raised in a town six miles north of this town of Manchester, Vermont, where I used to summer. [24:16.7 – 24:19.0] I also spent quite a few winters there. [24:19.0 – 24:26.1] Uh, and I heard that Bill was in pretty tough shape, drinking bad. [24:26.1 – 24:35.5] And I had been downtown in, uh, in Wall Street and seen some of my old friends, one of whom married Bill's sister-in-law. [24:35.5 – 24:37.7] And he said he was in tough shape. [24:37.7 – 24:47.7] And he said, "Why don't you give him a ring or telephone?" And I said, "Well, I will, but I want to think this thing out a little and get myself a pretty good story, a [24:47.7 – 24:57.6] pretty good pitch to go for him." And I can truthfully say now that I believe that if I, that I went over there, that Bill would either go for it lock, stock, and barrel, or he would have none of it. [24:57.6 – 25:00.4] He wouldn't just play around with it for a little while. [25:00.4 – 25:03.0] I thought that if he put his teeth into it once, he'd stick to it. [25:03.0 – 25:09.3] Because I thought I knew him pretty well, having gone to school with him and seen him over the years. [25:09.3 – 25:12.6] So I called him up one night. [25:12.6 – 25:16.1] I didn't get Bill, but I got Lois, his wife. [25:16.1 – 25:24.7] And told her what had happened to me and that this might just kind of show me something. [25:24.7 – 25:29.9] Well, I don't even sober myself then about quite possibly six or seven weeks. [25:29.9 – 25:37.4] But I think sometimes the initial effect that we get from a thing is we're more powerful then than we are later on. [25:37.4 – 25:39.7] We get stale. [25:39.7 – 25:48.6] Well, anyway, Lois said, "Why don't you come over to dinner tonight?" And, uh, and she mentioned the date. [25:48.6 – 25:58.7] I said, "Fine." So that night, I went over about half past five, I guess, in the evening. [25:58.7 – 26:01.7] And, uh, and I rang the bell at 182 Clinton Street. [26:01.7 – 26:06.8] The only person home was an old colored man named Green, who I'd known for years. [26:06.8 – 26:07.8] He'd been with the family. [26:07.8 – 26:10.8] Uh, Lois' family, that is. [26:10.8 – 26:12.7] And he said they were both out. [26:12.7 – 26:13.5] Both Mrs. [26:13.5 – 26:14.1] Wilson and Mr. [26:14.1 – 26:15.5] Wilson are out, but come on in. [26:15.5 – 26:22.3] So pretty soon, Bill appeared, and, uh, he'd been drinking, but he wasn't too bad. [26:22.3 – 26:28.4] And we sat alone, this, that, and the other thing, and he's kind of pacing around. [26:28.4 – 26:31.1] And then he made an excuse. [26:31.1 – 26:35.2] He had to go out and get some ice cream and something else for supper. [26:35.2 – 26:37.4] And, of course, I knew what he was going after. [26:37.4 – 26:37.8] I understand. [26:37.8 – 26:40.4] I'd done it so many times myself. [26:40.4 – 26:44.4] So then Lois came in. [26:44.4 – 26:46.2] Now, there was another girl invited. [26:46.2 – 26:51.1] There was a girl invited because, uh, she lived upstairs, and it made the place, uh, it was an apartment. [26:51.1 – 26:54.4] So we all sat down to dinner. [26:54.4 – 27:00.8] And Bill's got it a little garbled in the book about the dinner across the kitchen table, but it don't make any difference. [27:00.8 – 27:01.6] The idea is there. [27:01.6 – 27:05.9] And we all sat down, and then we all moved upstairs. [27:05.9 – 27:10.6] And in those houses, in, in the back there in the east, most of the living room's on the second floor. [27:10.6 – 27:19.5] So we moved up on the second floor, and after a little Hammond and ha, Lois said, "Well, uh, so tell about yourself." So I started in. [27:19.5 – 27:25.7] I guess they got me wound up, and I guess that talk has put me at 1:00 in the morning. [27:25.7 – 27:34.6] And I remember Bill said, "I want to sober over." And I knew that he wasn't going to go for a drink or, unless he had a bottle in the house anyway. [27:34.6 – 27:39.3] Please stop the recorder at this point and turn the cassette to side two. [27:39.3 – 27:39.9] Thank you. [27:39.9 – 27:50.2] Bill [27:50.2 – 28:00.3] put his arm around my shoulder just before I went on the subway and said, "I don't know what you got, kid, but you got something, and I want to get it." Well, he didn't stop drinking right away any more [28:00.3 – 28:05.4] than I had stopped drinking back there at that time when the Oxford Group boys came to see me. [28:05.4 – 28:09.7] But the idea was in the air, and the idea happened to get in Bill's head. [28:09.7 – 28:18.3] And at that time, I had moved to a mission on First Avenue and 23rd Street in New York City. [28:18.3 – 28:22.9] It was run by Calvary Episcopal Church and called Calvary Mission. [28:22.9 – 28:26.0] It was run under the auspices of this Oxford Group. [28:26.0 – 28:31.0] It was just a typical so-called Bowery Mission. [28:31.0 – 28:40.8] We had 12 men who were running it and, uh, excuse me. [28:40.8 – 28:44.2] We only had available beds for about 35 men, and they were full every night. [28:44.2 – 28:54.2] So when I was living there, and about two months after I'd been over to see Bill, he appeared at the mission just as the meeting was about to start. [28:54.2 – 28:57.2] And with us, he had a guy in tow, and they were both visibly drunk. [28:57.2 – 29:01.3] Well, not too bad and slung about. [29:01.3 – 29:06.9] Those meetings, those, those meetings there were what you call testimonial meetings. [29:06.9 – 29:14.1] We had a man up on the platform, and, uh, he would, uh, call on various men in the audience. [29:14.1 – 29:16.7] They'd get up, say what they'd found. [29:16.7 – 29:20.1] Of course, the most of them were doing it just to get a place for sleep. [29:20.1 – 29:23.5] They call it taking another bow for God to get a slot. [29:23.5 – 29:25.4] That's the way they expressed it. [29:25.4 – 29:35.3] Well, in the midst of all these proceedings, Bill gets up and walks up to the platform, and he's about six three, three, you know, and he leans his elbow on the piano, and he starts to shout. [29:35.3 – 29:37.8] And the superintendent, "Get him down. [29:37.8 – 29:38.5] It's your friend. [29:38.5 – 29:40.2] Pull him down out of there." I said, "Let him go. [29:40.2 – 29:45.5] Let's hear what he's got to say." And the guy gave me a dirty look, but he let Bill talk. [29:45.5 – 29:55.6] And then two or three days later, this was sometime late in November, as I've been talking to, uh, Jim and Dick and some of the other boys, I wish [29:55.6 – 30:04.9] that either Bill or I had sooner kept a diary back there so that we could, you know, remember dates and have some continuity to, to, to our stories. [30:04.9 – 30:09.5] Because you go back 24 years, and you count out to the last year, recall things accurately. [30:09.5 – 30:14.7] Well, this was sometime late in November in 1934. [30:14.7 – 30:22.7] And just a few days later, that Bill got himself a taxi cab and two or three bottles of beer and went up to Town's Hospital in Central Park West. [30:22.7 – 30:32.8] And when I heard he was up there, I guess it was the next day, I went up to see him because I made up my mind that having started this with [30:32.8 – 30:41.5] Bill, it was up to me to figure it out, which I think is a true thing in every AA 12-step case you go on. [30:41.5 – 30:45.7] If you're gonna do it, don't spread yourself too thin and take on 25 or 30 people. [30:45.7 – 30:48.8] I'd rather see you concentrate on one or two. [30:48.8 – 30:53.2] Well, I don't know whether I'm my brother's keeper or not. [30:53.2 – 31:04.0] But I do think that if you start and put something in a man's mind and possibly in his heart and soul, you gotta stick with him through his tough spots as well as his, [31:04.0 – 31:10.4] his victories, because you, you were the one that started it, and it's up to you to see that he gets on his feet. [31:10.4 – 31:20.9] So I followed Bill up, up there, and we had some talks, and he got out, and he went back down around Wall Street, mainly to make a few little moves in there. [31:20.9 – 31:26.5] And I kept riding herd on him, as they say out in Texas, or I rode herd on him. [31:26.5 – 31:36.8] And, uh, he came around, and he began to attend Oxford Group meetings, which I might add are exactly the same [31:36.8 – 31:39.1] as AA meetings today. [31:39.1 – 31:40.0] They had a speaker. [31:40.0 – 31:41.3] I mean, a leader. [31:41.3 – 31:43.6] That's what they called it. [31:43.6 – 31:44.6] They didn't call it chairman. [31:44.6 – 31:46.7] They called it the leader and three or four speakers. [31:46.7 – 31:52.9] And Bill spoke many times from Calvary House in Gramercy Park North in New York City. [31:52.9 – 32:02.9] And later on, when we split from the Oxford Group and became Alcoholics Anonymous, we went back to that place and had our meetings there up till [32:02.9 – 32:07.2] about two years ago, the original Manhattan group. [32:07.2 – 32:17.2] Now, of course, uh, Ohio, Cleveland, and one of the other cities, they're claiming that they are the [32:17.2 – 32:19.6] original AA, but, uh, I don't know. [32:19.6 – 32:29.3] I kind of dispute that a little bit because there was a clear succession right through from the Oxford Group meetings until the time we broke off, and the meetings went around- [32:29.5 – 32:37.8] Bill's house, and then they went to Stanley Hall on 57th Street, and from there to Burt Taylor's shop on Fifth Avenue. [32:37.8 – 32:41.3] We occupied one of the floors of his tailor shop. [32:41.3 – 32:50.2] And, uh, let's see, they… [32:50.2 – 32:58.0] Then it was direct excitement, but I don't care whether Pullman or anybody else claims the first group. [32:58.0 – 32:58.9] It makes little difference. [32:58.9 – 32:60.0] The thing got started. [32:60.0 – 33:10.7] So Bill and I were together a great deal that first winter, and then I went back to Albany in, [33:10.7 – 33:12.3] uh, 1936. [33:12.3 – 33:19.2] And Bill went on to found AA. [33:19.2 – 33:19.9] You see? [33:19.9 – 33:21.6] And he's really the one. [33:21.6 – 33:24.6] I just had something to do with giving him the idea. [33:24.6 – 33:27.9] He went on to, with Dr. [33:27.9 – 33:30.6] Bob, found AA. [33:30.6 – 33:36.0] And, uh, in 1937, I had a slip. [33:36.0 – 33:43.0] I fell off the wagon after two years and seven months, which was slightly different from that DuPont film. [33:43.0 – 33:46.6] The DuPont film had me falling off a month after I talked to Bill, but that wasn't so. [33:46.6 – 33:48.9] It was two months and two years and six months later. [33:48.9 – 33:52.4] And I've had a good deal of trouble off and on. [33:52.4 – 34:02.5] Uh, if I want to go back and count the years, I can count possibly 15 years of [34:02.5 – 34:05.7] complete sobriety out of the 24, maybe 16 years. [34:05.7 – 34:11.6] But they were the longest was 16 months and eight months and seven months and so on. [34:11.6 – 34:19.0] And, uh, the summer of 1953, I was again in New York City drinking. [34:19.0 – 34:29.0] And I walked into the Intergroup one day, and, uh, Hazel Rice, one of the secretaries there, said, "I think I've got [34:29.0 – 34:30.3] a man that can help you. [34:30.3 – 34:37.8] He's got something real and something tangible." And she said, "I'm going to call him right away." And she called this man and came down and seen me. [34:37.8 – 34:47.8] He says, "What are you drinking?" I said, "Well, I'm on Third Avenue." He says, "Come on, let's go." And he said, "I ran into Steve McGraves, the man who originally came to [34:47.8 – 34:57.9] see you over in Paris, France." And he said, "How's old Eddie doing?" This guy said, "I don't know Eddie, but I hear he's not doing at all." So he says, "Steve told [34:57.9 – 35:03.4] me that you didn't have a chance here in New York, and we don't think you have." I said, "I know damn well I have. [35:03.4 – 35:04.6] I'm drunk. [35:04.6 – 35:14.6] I can't throw it off." He said, "How about going to Texas?" "Well," I said, "I don't know about that." Well, he expounded on the virtues [35:14.6 – 35:18.9] of Texas and the good old American ways of living that were still down in these parts of the country. [35:18.9 – 35:29.0] He gave me $5 and bought me another drink and said, "I'll see you tomorrow night." So he did, and I paid him the performance, and of course, I worked him for another $5, that's for sure, and [35:29.0 – 35:29.8] a few more drinks. [35:29.8 – 35:32.1] And that was Thursday night. [35:32.1 – 35:42.0] Now, he said, "I'm not going to see you anymore, but the offer still holds good." Saturday morning, I walked over to his apartment building, and, uh, he was outside. [35:42.0 – 35:47.5] He was coming in one door, and I was going in the other, and I said, "Charlie, here I am." His name was Charlie Milton. [35:47.5 – 35:54.8] And, uh, I said, "Here I am." Well, he said, "You ready to go to Texas?" "I don't know about Texas," I said, "but I'm ready to quit drinking. [35:54.8 – 36:04.9] I haven't had a drink since last night." So he took me up in his apartment and, uh, got me some clean clothes and a shower, which I badly needed. [36:04.9 – 36:15.3] That night, he called up Oldie Lancaster in Dallas and said, "How about taking this guy down here?" "All right," he said, "send me the Yankee son of a bitch down here." I [36:15.3 – 36:17.2] could hear Oldie booming it out. [36:17.2 – 36:20.0] So the next… [36:20.0 – 36:27.5] We got a reservation that night on American Airlines for Sunday evening, and it was the Sunday before Labor Day, September 6th. [36:27.5 – 36:31.8] And the drinking so and so never even gave me a drink. [36:31.8 – 36:37.5] After three months drunk, I got on board that plane, and I didn't know whether I was on a plane or a ferry boat or where I was. [36:37.5 – 36:40.4] And I got off the plane. [36:40.4 – 36:45.8] It was a land trap, and I would have been off sure in hell if it hadn't come on and stopped when it was. [36:45.8 – 36:50.1] I got off that plane, and I was the first person out of it. [36:50.1 – 36:53.7] They no sooner had that thing rolled up, and I zoomed, and I was down on the steps. [36:53.7 – 36:56.5] I'd had enough flying for one night. [36:56.5 – 37:02.6] When I got down there, and I looked around, I saw two big guys, and of course, I was having hallucinations all over the place. [37:02.6 – 37:09.8] And I said, "They're either a couple of G-men or they're a couple of goons from some gangster squad." And then I heard that booming voice again. [37:09.8 – 37:11.2] "There's the aching bastard. [37:11.2 – 37:12.7] There he is. [37:12.7 – 37:18.8] I've seen him in New York." So they got ahold of me, and they put me in the car and took me down to Texas Clinic. [37:18.8 – 37:21.0] And I stayed there. [37:21.0 – 37:23.0] I guess I stayed all together about two, three months. [37:23.0 – 37:28.9] But the first two or three weeks, it was pretty rugged because I'm going to tell you right now, I had hallucinations all over the place. [37:28.9 – 37:32.9] I didn't believe I was in Texas. [37:32.9 – 37:34.4] I didn't believe I was out of the place. [37:34.4 – 37:43.4] Uh, one of the girls there that was taking care of the books and sort of running things took me downtown one day, and I couldn't get back in that place fast enough. [37:43.4 – 37:45.9] I was scared of the cars, traffic. [37:45.9 – 37:46.8] I was scared of everything. [37:46.8 – 37:52.2] And it wasn't when I was there two weeks that the guy said, "I'm going out to mail some letters at the airport. [37:52.2 – 37:53.6] Do you want to go out?" And I said, "I sure do. [37:53.6 – 37:60.0] I want to see this airport and see if I'm really in Dallas." And I got out there, and I got out of the car, and I walked up to this plaque. [37:60.0 – 38:04.8] It said, "Love Field, Dallas, Texas." I put my hand on it, and I said, "All right, I'm in Dallas." I believe it. [38:04.8 – 38:13.5] I swear as I stand here, I did not believe I was in Dallas because I'd been a pretty rugged drunk and a pretty hot summer, and I hadn't had much to eat in those three months. [38:13.5 – 38:16.2] And I was drinking everything I could lay my hands on. [38:16.2 – 38:18.1] And then to be cut short like that. [38:18.1 – 38:22.4] Furthermore, they gave me some cheap goofballs down there, and I hate those things anyway. [38:22.4 – 38:23.3] I hate the effect of them. [38:23.3 – 38:25.3] They just make me… [38:25.3 – 38:30.7] Well, I've, I'm sorry that I've taken up so much time telling you. [38:30.7 – 38:35.8] It's all been of myself, but I didn't know how to bring the history of AA in. [38:35.8 – 38:37.2] You've all seen how it's spread. [38:37.2 – 38:39.8] How it's worked. [38:39.8 – 38:46.2] I know if it hadn't been for AA when I got to Texas, I never would have been able to survive. [38:46.2 – 38:50.1] Just coming out here alone, I'd have been lost. [38:50.1 – 38:58.0] It was tough enough as it was because I was among strange people, slightly different ways than ours. [38:58.0 – 39:05.6] It, it was an upheaval to get from the Bowery down here in six hours and shake yourself all around. [39:05.6 – 39:15.7] But if it hadn't been for those good Texas people and the people in the Suburban Club, if I hadn't been able to go around there and stay there and [39:15.7 – 39:22.8] shake after two weeks before I went in the club, a little over two weeks, I walked by one day and started up a sweat sweat when I went back to the clinic. [39:22.8 – 39:26.1] Almost like a guy going back and hiding under the bed. [39:26.1 – 39:30.4] And I know the several times they said, "Well, I know. [39:30.4 – 39:31.3] I heard them talking. [39:31.3 – 39:32.4] I don't know what we're going to do with this guy. [39:32.4 – 39:36.9] He's gone goofy." And then I had a colored girl that worked there. [39:36.9 – 39:41.3] She's quite an old girl and woman, and she said, "Don't you worry about that man. [39:41.3 – 39:43.7] You just leave him alone, and he's coming out of it. [39:43.7 – 39:46.5] He's sick." And that's just what I was. [39:46.5 – 39:49.4] I was sick, mentally and physically. [39:49.4 – 39:51.2] And gradually, I worked out of it. [39:51.2 – 39:52.2] Nature took over. [39:52.2 – 39:56.8] And then I was able to get around the club and get into the activities. [39:56.8 – 39:59.8] And maybe I got in a little too fast. [39:59.8 – 40:02.9] That was the hottest summer that had been on record in the Texas Weather Bureau. [40:02.9 – 40:09.9] I went down on a ranch, and I was wore out working the sheep with a man, and he put me in as a chute man. [40:09.9 – 40:12.5] Well, that's kind of rugged work on a ninety-five degree day. [40:12.5 – 40:19.1] And I got mixed up in an oil deal, and I sold some insurance stock, and every one of them flopped. [40:19.1 – 40:21.9] The insurance company did almost. [40:21.9 – 40:25.4] They're still struggling to get back on their feet. [40:25.4 – 40:28.4] And I got in another deal, and that flopped. [40:28.4 – 40:33.4] I was sober a year, and one month after the year was up, I flopped. [40:33.4 – 40:37.5] And that was in October 1954. [40:37.5 – 40:40.8] Out of thirteen months, I only had a few days drinking then. [40:40.8 – 40:48.5] And, uh, it was over a three-week period that I got slapped in the county jail for ten days, and that was Mr. [40:48.5 – 40:49.7] Bill Becker's Emporium. [40:49.7 – 40:54.1] And I came out, and some friends took me in their house, and I sobered up. [40:54.1 – 40:56.6] And I haven't had a drink since. [40:56.6 – 41:02.9] In other words, I've had about five years sobriety in Texas. [41:02.9 – 41:08.1] Out of five years and one month, I've had five years sobriety total. [41:08.1 – 41:18.1] And I know, and I'm grateful to FEMA Grays over there in Paris and Charlie for following it up, and for the people in Texas, [41:18.1 – 41:21.1] and over here, all of you people, who have given me another chance. [41:21.1 – 41:23.9] I couldn't have done it by myself. [41:23.9 – 41:27.7] I didn't under my own steam, I did it. [41:27.7 – 41:38.4] And I know that my sobriety in these four years, these last four years that I've been sober, it hasn't been my sole effort that has kept me sober, [41:38.4 – 41:42.1] nor do I believe it has been entirely the friendship and the help of people. [41:42.1 – 41:47.0] I think it has been the help of a higher power. [41:47.0 – 41:55.4] And while I've lost that idea sometimes along this way of life, thank God I got it back again. [41:55.4 – 41:59.4] Because I know that I couldn't exist without it. [41:59.4 – 42:09.6] There are times when I know I'm not like a great many people I hear talk that they say there isn't a day in their [42:09.6 – 42:12.1] lives that they don't fight the desire to take a drink. [42:12.1 – 42:14.8] Well, I'm telling you right now, flat out, I'd go get drunk. [42:14.8 – 42:20.1] I couldn't be that much of a hero to fight it every day and every hour. [42:20.1 – 42:22.4] I don't have that. [42:22.4 – 42:30.5] But I do have periods every three or four months when it's maybe two or three days that, God, that's all I think about, is taking a drink. [42:30.5 – 42:40.7] And if I haven't got myself conditioned to the correct way of thinking and knowing that if I take that drink where I'm going to end up, and I have, I have no doubt [42:40.7 – 42:48.3] that this time, and I know that that last drink that the drunk, that the, the liquor knocked me so badly physically and mentally too, that I'd never survive another one. [42:48.3 – 42:53.7] And I get that in my head, and I get, I keep it there in spite of the fact that I want to go out and… [42:53.7 – 42:57.8] I get sick of this being in harness every day and going to work. [42:57.8 – 43:04.3] And, and, uh, I'm getting along in years, and I'd, I'd like to have a little rest once in a while, but I got to go and work. [43:04.3 – 43:14.4] And I often think if I come home tonight, if I could take one good slug of whiskey or one bottle of Valentine's Ale and then go eat, it'd help me a lot, and it probably would [43:14.4 – 43:16.6] help me physically and give me lift. [43:16.6 – 43:19.2] But I know I can't do it. [43:19.2 – 43:21.6] So what is the use of trying with the idea? [43:21.6 – 43:28.5] I don't quite, quite get so much the idea that I used to, that I'd like to get drunk. [43:28.5 – 43:34.6] Although that occurs once in a while because I think in every one of us is another person, is an alter ego. [43:34.6 – 43:37.9] And that old drunk that was Ebby Thatcher is still in there. [43:37.9 – 43:39.5] He may be dormant, but he's there. [43:39.5 – 43:40.4] He's just like a volcano. [43:40.4 – 43:42.6] He takes the top off, and he's going boom. [43:42.6 – 43:46.6] Only this time, he goes boom, boom, then it'll be all over. [43:46.6 – 43:57.0] And I haven't got anything much more to say except stick to your AA, and [43:57.0 – 43:58.0] stick to God. [43:58.0 – 44:05.7] And I think that you'll find that if you're having any trouble, you'll find help there. [44:05.7 – 44:13.4] I want to thank Dick, and I want to thank the other members and all you people who have entertained me, and I sure have enjoyed coming to Memphis. [44:13.4 – 44:13.9] Thank you. [44:13.9 – 44:24.4] While [44:24.4 – 44:35.3] we are convincing you that there are no jewels or thieves in AA, and Hal and the boys are passing the remittance basket, I [44:35.3 – 44:45.9] want to say again, if you happen to go out Texas way where Ebby has been and where Ebby has been the last five years- [44:45.9 – 44:50.6] The AA out there is no difference than the AA that you have here in Memphis, Tennessee. [44:50.6 – 44:59.0] Because my first visit to Memphis was in 1935, when you first organized and you were getting together then. [44:59.0 – 45:09.4] And one of the great pleasures of AA is to walk in and see men and women right in this audience here tonight who were here and active [45:09.4 – 45:12.0] in 35 that are here and active tonight. [45:12.0 – 45:17.1] Everyone that comes in AA just doesn't walk in, dust themselves, and stay sober. [45:17.1 – 45:22.9] You have a disease called alcoholism and it's a tough one. [45:22.9 – 45:24.8] Some people are lucky, I don't know. [45:24.8 – 45:31.8] I don't know who I shot, whose mother-in-law or mine that I pushed downstairs that gave me the right. [45:31.8 – 45:38.7] I cannot grasp, even as today, why should I stay sober and some other guy didn't? [45:38.7 – 45:41.8] He's an alcoholic just like I am. [45:41.8 – 45:43.3] I don't know what it is. [45:43.3 – 45:44.7] I'm not going to try to answer it. [45:44.7 – 45:51.6] But I do know this, as long as you remember yesterday, it's a great help for tomorrow. [45:51.6 – 45:58.6] The quicker you forgive yourself, the quicker you're going to get well. [45:58.6 – 46:09.1] But when you forget where you found your sobriety, how you got sober, and you retire to the country club [46:09.1 – 46:13.3] and no longer are active in AA, you are no longer taking your medicine. [46:13.3 – 46:19.8] And if you don't take your medicine someday down the road, oh, you can point to me as Ebby can. [46:19.8 – 46:25.1] I can show you guys that are sober five, six, seven, eight, ten years that never show up anymore. [46:25.1 – 46:28.7] But for your information, they're not dead yet. [46:28.7 – 46:34.6] I know a lot of people with different diseases that have arrested them. [46:34.6 – 46:41.6] You can arrest your alcoholism and maybe you can stay sober if you never come back to AA. [46:41.6 – 46:47.3] And if you never come back to AA, I am one that will never miss you. [46:47.3 – 46:55.4] Because if you're ungrateful as that for what you found, I don't think me personally that I would meet you. [46:55.4 – 46:57.6] And I'm only speaking for myself. [46:57.6 – 47:00.1] Because you found it. [47:00.1 – 47:01.2] I found it. [47:01.2 – 47:11.2] And I think today the greatest thought that we can have in Alcoholics Anonymous, not for you who are so lucky that are here tonight and all over the world [47:11.2 – 47:11.7] in AA. [47:11.7 – 47:21.7] If God in his infinite wisdom gave us the privilege of staying sober such as we are tonight, and I [47:21.7 – 47:27.7] turn my back on the guy I left behind me, I don't deserve sobriety. [47:27.7 – 47:30.7] That's merely my own opinion. [47:30.7 – 47:34.1] I belong to the greatest fellowship in the world. [47:34.1 – 47:37.6] And that fellowship is called Alcoholics Anonymous. [47:37.6 – 47:43.7] Everything I have tonight, everything I will ever get any other night from herein come from men and women. [47:43.7 – 47:45.9] God bless you just like you. [47:45.9 – 47:48.8] May I always be with you. [47:48.8 – 47:53.7] And may someday I really be worthy of you. [47:53.7 – 48:00.2] In all meetings all over the country, those who wish to join us, we close by saying the Our Father. [48:00.2 – 48:01.9] Those who care to, will you join me? [48:01.9 – 48:12.1] Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. [48:12.1 – 48:14.2] Thy kingdom come. [48:14.2 – 48:18.7] Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. [48:18.7 – 48:22.0] Give us this day our daily bread. [48:22.0 – 48:28.5] And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. [48:28.5 – 48:32.3] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [48:32.3 – 48:37.7] For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. [48:37.7 – 48:38.5] Amen. [48:38.5 – 48:44.0] Thank you very much.