Transcript

[00:00.1 – 00:06.6] Other stories that just came out some short time ago, the name Ebby comes, comes out. [00:06.6 – 00:12.0] But always in the first book, you'll hear him referred to as my friend. [00:12.0 – 00:23.3] Did you hear a lot of us at different times and in different parts of the count- country quoting, uh, how Bill came in, how [00:23.3 – 00:25.9] the organization or the fellowship started? [00:25.9 – 00:36.2] There's only one man in the world tonight who knows exactly how [00:36.2 – 00:40.1] it started because he was sober and Bill was drunk. [00:40.1 – 00:50.4] So I give you my friend and your friend, our founder, [00:50.4 – 00:50.7] Ebby. [00:50.7 – 01:00.9] Thank [01:00.9 – 01:01.3] you, Bill. [01:01.3 – 01:06.5] Well, as Bill told you, my name is Ebby, and I'm an alcoholic. [01:06.5 – 01:11.3] I don't know just how to start this off. [01:11.3 – 01:20.3] When Bill asked me over here, I was very glad to come because I wanted to meet some of you Memphis people. [01:20.3 – 01:27.8] But I had an idea I was one of two or three speakers, and I didn't know I was gonna hold this thing down for 40 to 45 minutes. [01:27.8 – 01:32.1] And back home in Dallas, I'm known as the worst sort of speaker. [01:32.1 – 01:37.3] They used me back there on the different clubs for the 10-minute and 15-minute spots. [01:37.3 – 01:44.7] So I don't know just how I'm gonna go about holding down for 45 minutes, but I'll do the best I can. [01:44.7 – 01:49.3] Now, as I say, I've been living in Texas for five years now. [01:49.3 – 01:55.3] Maybe I've gotten enough of that Texas braggadocio somewhere in my system. [01:55.3 – 01:58.4] Maybe I have a store of some sort so I can pull something right out of a hat. [01:58.4 – 02:08.9] There's a story I heard a year or two after I got in Dallas that I want to take a little fancy, and [02:08.9 – 02:10.9] I hope you'll indulge me and let me tell it. [02:10.9 – 02:15.4] There was a Texas rancher who drove over to his nearest neighbor. [02:15.4 – 02:25.4] It was about 15 miles, and said, "What do you say we go to town and drink a beer?" The guy said, "All right." Got [02:25.4 – 02:27.6] his hat, and they got in the car, and they started out. [02:27.6 – 02:31.4] As soon as they got out of sight of the ranch house, they opened up the first of beer then. [02:31.4 – 02:41.5] Had a good long pull on the bottle, and the first guy said, "You know, I shipped two thousand bulls from Scott's Wells to Beaver 4 [02:41.5 – 02:44.2] yesterday." Nothing was said. [02:44.2 – 02:49.5] They drove on a while and came to a gate, and they had to open that, and they had another pull at the bottle. [02:49.5 – 02:59.5] And the second guy said, "Well, you know, I shipped twenty-five hundred bulls from my side in four or five days ago." They drove along, and just before they got to the main state [02:59.5 – 03:12.0] highway, they stopped for a third good hocker, and the, the first rancher said again, "You know, I think we're the two biggest bullshitters in Texas." [03:12.0 – 03:19.6] And I hope I have a quality of that so I could spread it out tonight. [03:19.6 – 03:29.6] I know that Bill and Jim Grace and some of the other boys wanted me to tell you some of the beginnings of [03:29.6 – 03:32.9] AA as I experienced them. [03:32.9 – 03:40.3] And, you know, I think that I appreciate the things that Bill has said and other people have said about him. [03:40.3 – 03:48.5] But I sometimes think that my chief claim to fame is that I'm Exhibit A in the antique division of Alcoholics Anonymous. [03:48.5 – 03:50.5] That's about it. [03:50.5 – 03:57.2] Well, I got to go back to some of my beginnings. [03:57.2 – 04:01.5] I started drinking when I was in school. [04:01.5 – 04:04.9] I come from Albany, New York. [04:04.9 – 04:06.9] It's my native town. [04:06.9 – 04:13.1] Went to a private school there, and I started drinking in the last year. [04:13.1 – 04:17.0] I seemed to hold it under control pretty well. [04:17.0 – 04:20.7] But I did get off on a wild party one night. [04:20.7 – 04:25.3] It was a military school, and we had a, a competitive drill. [04:25.3 – 04:28.4] And after the drill, we all went out and had us something. [04:28.4 – 04:29.5] We went out and got drunk. [04:29.5 – 04:33.5] And we got in a mess, and the principal of the school heard about it. [04:33.5 – 04:36.4] But nothing was said. [04:36.4 – 04:45.8] But I, uh, uh, wasn't very well that spring, and they took me out of school before school was over. [04:45.8 – 04:49.6] And that summer, the principal wrote to my father, and he always called me Ed. [04:49.6 – 04:51.3] He didn't call me Ebby. [04:51.3 – 04:52.6] He called Ed. [04:52.6 – 05:00.5] He said, "I don't think we can do anything more for Ed," which meant that he was just, uh, throwing me from the school. [05:00.5 – 05:07.6] So that fall, my father said, "You're going to work in the foundry." My father happened to be in the iron foundry business. [05:07.6 – 05:15.4] So I went to work that fall, and, uh, I confined my drinking to Saturday nights. [05:15.4 – 05:18.3] Naturally, I had to get up six o'clock to go down. [05:18.3 – 05:23.2] I worked in the, as a molders helper, which was fairly rugged work, as you might know. [05:23.2 – 05:31.9] And I did that for a year, and I confined most of my drinking to Saturday nights, except around Christmas time when all the dances were going on. [05:31.9 – 05:34.2] Then I really stepped out. [05:34.2 – 05:36.5] I remember what caused me to go to work. [05:36.5 – 05:37.3] It was drinking. [05:37.3 – 05:41.2] It was dancing and getting down to work at seven o'clock in the morning. [05:41.2 – 05:42.0] But I was young. [05:42.0 – 05:44.5] You could shake it off and work it off at night. [05:44.5 – 05:50.5] And I managed to get away with it for a while. [05:50.5 – 05:57.5] But as I look back and remember those times, I wasn't a very successful drinker from the start. [05:57.5 – 06:07.8] There were times, too, when I'd take some of the older guys around Albany home And other times, I'd be climbing the chandelier after three or four drinks. [06:07.8 – 06:09.2] I never knew what was gonna happen. [06:09.2 – 06:19.2] Fact of the matter is, when I was about fifteen years old, I remember putting a lot of thought into this business [06:19.2 – 06:21.3] of drinking because it was in my family. [06:21.3 – 06:25.8] My brothers drank pretty heavily, and my father did. [06:25.8 – 06:35.9] And, uh, I kind of figured if they drank that way and it wasn't any good for them, then it was no [06:35.9 – 06:41.4] good for me either, 'cause I was just about the same temperament as they were. [06:41.4 – 06:51.1] But it was that first drink that I ever took on my own when I walked into the bar of the Hotel Ten Eyck in Albany and ordered a glass of beer all by myself, and I was a big shot. [06:51.1 – 06:55.7] And I still say that was the best glass of beer I ever tasted. [06:55.7 – 06:58.6] Sometimes I could almost taste it again. [06:58.6 – 07:07.8] And somehow that, that just gave me just a strange glow, and, uh, of course, beer was a lot stronger in those days, and it was Royal Beer. [07:07.8 – 07:13.1] That was about nineteen fourteen, I think. [07:13.1 – 07:15.5] Nineteen– Yes, it was nineteen fourteen. [07:15.5 – 07:25.6] And I know that I said to myself, "This is for me." And soon after [07:25.6 – 07:29.3] that, when I started drinking, I kept it down pretty well at two or three drinks. [07:29.3 – 07:39.3] I used to go out, uh, of an evening without spending, uh, um, this friend of mine, I went to school, [07:39.3 – 07:41.7] he called me up and asked me if I had my lessons done. [07:41.7 – 07:46.2] I said, "Sure." I used to just stall because the family was sitting in the room. [07:46.2 – 07:49.0] And I said, "Sure, Andy, I'll go out and have a chocolate milk with you. [07:49.0 – 07:53.4] I got time." And we would go out for chocolate milk. [07:53.4 – 07:57.8] But I managed to get home by eleven o'clock so there was nobody knowing about it. [07:57.8 – 08:04.9] But I know the effect and the taste of alcohol was fa-fascinating to me from the beginning. [08:04.9 – 08:15.1] And later on, I read a book called The Common Sense of Drinking, from which a lot of AA was taken, by [08:15.1 – 08:16.0] Dick Peabody. [08:16.0 – 08:25.1] He's now dead, but he was one of the first of the lay therapists that had a tremendous following of alcoholics. [08:25.1 – 08:29.2] A lot of other books have been written by a lot of his pupils. [08:29.2 – 08:33.6] The Glass Cracks is one of them by Duff Chambers, and I can name a half a dozen. [08:33.6 – 08:36.1] I can't think of them right now. [08:36.1 – 08:46.2] But he said in that book that the difference between an alcoholic and a heavy drinker was that the heavy drinker [08:46.2 – 08:56.5] might drink just as much on a given night as the alcoholic, but the next day was another day to him, and he went to work, and his first thing in the [08:56.5 – 09:06.0] awakening in the morning was the office, while the first thought that the alcoholic had was of the night before and where could he get the next drink to bring that party back again. [09:06.0 – 09:09.7] And that all of the two of them, because that's the way I was. [09:09.7 – 09:14.5] I'd forget business and want to get somewhere where I could get with the gang again. [09:14.5 – 09:21.5] And he said the effect of alcohol on people of this type is too fascinating. [09:21.5 – 09:22.7] You can't handle it. [09:22.7 – 09:23.7] Yes, exactly. [09:23.7 – 09:25.4] Damn thing won't pick up. [09:25.4 – 09:26.5] Oh, pick up. [09:26.5 – 09:26.8] No. [09:26.8 – 09:30.6] He's talking to the secretary. [09:30.6 – 09:34.7] Oh, well. [09:34.7 – 09:46.0] But I knew that, but I knew then that, um, coupled with the drinking in my family, I figured out that [09:46.0 – 09:51.2] I better lay, should stay away from it, but I never did once I had that drink. [09:51.2 – 09:55.8] And as time went on, I, of course, got into a lot more trouble. [09:55.8 – 10:01.0] And, uh, the family business broke up. [10:01.0 – 10:02.3] It was one of those things too. [10:02.3 – 10:07.8] It's been running since eighteen fifty-two, and it broke up in nineteen twenty-two. [10:07.8 – 10:18.0] And I was more or less on the loose and going from one job to another and getting in more trouble all the time. [10:18.0 – 10:19.5] My drinking was increasing. [10:19.5 – 10:22.4] I didn't get overseas in World War I. [10:22.4 – 10:27.2] When I was in the outfit, it was stationed around right in my hometown of Albany. [10:27.2 – 10:37.4] And then the state army there, I, I got to be a second lieutenant in this outfit, and we always had a jug in the officer's quarters [10:37.4 – 10:43.8] because there was a druggist in one of the corners right near the armory that always… [10:43.8 – 10:48.4] And somehow I managed to get a bottle of whiskey, and we could get it because those were the days of prescription. [10:48.4 – 10:56.5] Doctor would issue you a prescription during Prohibition, and you'd go in and get this pint of whiskey. [10:56.5 – 10:58.0] But we got it all we wanted. [10:58.0 – 11:01.6] We got that gallon, gallon jug filled repeatedly. [11:01.6 – 11:06.5] And it was a pretty two-fisted drinking crowd, and they were all older than I was. [11:06.5 – 11:10.7] And finally, uh, we got into a jam one night. [11:10.7 – 11:18.5] We got in a taxi wreck, and I only just got superficial cuts on my, both wrists and the face. [11:18.5 – 11:21.5] But I was kind of a bloody mess. [11:21.5 – 11:22.8] It was just bruising a lot. [11:22.8 – 11:23.6] My father came in. [11:23.6 – 11:33.6] I was sitting on the bed, and he says, "You get out of that National Guard tomorrow morning, and sir, you leave my house." Well, I didn't feel like leaving his house back then, [11:33.6 – 11:41.7] so late that afternoon, I walked up and told the captain I was going to resign, request to be put on the reserves. [11:41.7 – 11:46.3] But that ended my National Guard career and that phase of the drinking. [11:46.3 – 11:53.3] But things got worse, and my father, mother died in '27, my father in '29. [11:53.3 – 11:58.6] And, uh, I was ticking around then pretty bad. [11:58.6 – 12:01.2] I inherited some money from my father. [12:01.2 – 12:04.5] I should've had sense enough to take care of it. [12:04.5 – 12:06.7] But I didn't. [12:06.7 – 12:14.9] I lost half of it overnight in a stock market crash, and the rest I just went down the drain over a period of a year, a year and a half. [12:14.9 – 12:25.2] And we used to summer in Vermont, and it was there that I met Bill Wilson, but it was longer ago [12:25.2 – 12:26.7] than twenty-four years ago. [12:26.7 – 12:30.3] I first knew Bill about nineteen hundred and ten. [12:30.3 – 12:36.0] I went to school with him in nineteen twelve, which has taken us back quite a few years. [12:36.0 – 12:46.3] And, uh, that, to get back, uh, we went to summer in Manchester, Vermont. [12:46.3 – 12:51.5] Well, after my father died, the house was vacant up there. [12:51.5 – 12:56.9] We bought a house after all the years his father had spent money at the hotel for all of us. [12:56.9 – 13:02.4] He bought a house in nineteen twenty-three, and in nineteen twenty-nine, he died, and the house was empty. [13:02.4 – 13:03.9] All my other brothers were married. [13:03.9 – 13:12.2] Father died without a will, so they just divided up the furnishing, left some for me, and I had one room furnished in that house, and the rest was bare. [13:12.2 – 13:18.9] And I was living there all alone, drinking heavily all the time. [13:18.9 – 13:29.0] Got a room, and we jump now, we're gonna get up to the summer of nineteen hundred and thirty-four, which is twenty-four years [13:29.0 – 13:29.3] ago. [13:29.3 – 13:33.8] And I'd been in the throes of the law twice that summer. [13:33.8 – 13:40.6] I'd gotten drunk and gotten arrested for being drunk and disorderly. [13:40.6 – 13:44.2] Fined five dollars or something like that. [13:44.2 – 13:54.3] And it seems that in Vermont at that time, I don't know whether the book, the law is still on the statute book or not, but if you got arrested three times, anyone given [13:54.3 – 13:57.2] you for drunkenness, it meant six months in Windsor State Prison. [13:57.2 – 14:01.2] Well, I was getting drunk right along. [14:01.2 – 14:11.3] One time I got drunk, and I still don't know exactly how it happened, but I was in my own house, and apparently somebody [14:11.3 – 14:12.7] got out a wire for me. [14:12.7 – 14:18.2] I, I fail to see yet what I was doing that, that was on my own property. [14:18.2 – 14:28.5] But, uh, one of the boys, a boy that was constable at the time was a guy that I'd gone to school with in 1912, the same year that I went to school with Bill Wilson. [14:28.5 – 14:38.7] I forgot to say that I went to a private school in Albany, but this one year I went up there in Vermont in 1912, in the fall of 1912, [14:38.7 – 14:42.6] to go to that school for one year and then back to my other. [14:42.6 – 14:47.7] And this other boy, John Jackson, was constable. [14:47.7 – 14:50.4] And I walked uptown the next day. [14:50.4 – 14:57.6] Well, I went up and stood on the store, the, the steps of the hardware store to talk to the owner of it. [14:57.6 – 15:03.9] This friend John drove up, and he says, "Sorry," he says, "Eddie, but I got a warrant for you. [15:03.9 – 15:06.4] Gotta take you down to Bennington," which is the county seat. [15:06.4 – 15:13.7] He took me down before the judge, and, uh, judge says I'll be back Monday. [15:13.7 – 15:17.9] So we went to the school where Bill walked through. [15:17.9 – 15:28.2] Well, I've gotten ahead of my story because before that, I'd say late in July or the first part of August, two [15:28.2 – 15:31.9] men came to see me, two fellas that I had drunk with often. [15:31.9 – 15:35.7] And one of them happened to be the son of this judge. [15:35.7 – 15:39.1] His name is Wilbur Graves, and he now lives in Empire Plant. [15:39.1 – 15:43.5] And the other one is Shep Cornell, and I don't know just where he is. [15:43.5 – 15:45.0] I think he's somewhere in Ohio. [15:45.0 – 15:51.6] And, uh, I had a hangover, of course, and these two guys wandered around. [15:51.6 – 16:01.2] I was out in back somewhere in the kitchen, I guess, 'cause I remember they came up the back steps, and they, uh, started. [16:01.2 – 16:06.5] They, they didn't know exactly how to begin on me 'cause they remembered me and having a lot of fun with me drinking. [16:06.5 – 16:12.2] And I saw they had something on their mind, so I said, "Well, what, what do you got on your mind? [16:12.2 – 16:22.3] What's, what's cooking?" And they said, "Well, we kind of come to see you and see if we couldn't get some idea in your head about [16:22.3 – 16:29.3] some things." And I said, "You mean about my drinking?" They said, "Yeah, you're not getting anywhere. [16:29.3 – 16:39.4] You're, I understand, doing wrong all over town, and we just thought, uh, well, we just thought, uh, we got mixed [16:39.4 – 16:49.9] up with a group called the Oxford Group, and we think that you could get help if you joined up with it." And [16:49.9 – 16:59.9] they said, "Do you ever think of letting God run your life instead of every pastor trying to run it all the time?" And they really talked sense the way I figured [16:59.9 – 17:09.8] it, and it seemed to me that they were just telling me things that I had been taught in my childhood about the right way of living. [17:09.8 – 17:20.0] And I said, "Well, gee, if these two guys have got something out of this, maybe there's hope for me because I've just about given [17:20.0 – 17:23.9] up hope." And I tell you, I was willing to quit drinking, but I didn't know how. [17:23.9 – 17:27.7] Excuse me. [17:27.7 – 17:29.0] I didn't know how to do it. [17:31.2 – 17:35.6] So I listened to them, and they left me a book by one of these men in the Oxford Group. [17:35.6 – 17:44.4] I don't recall the name of that book now, but in it, I could see myself staring out of those pages. [17:44.4 – 17:52.8] Now, the Oxford Group, let me explain, was not concentrated on alcohol, alcoholism. [17:52.8 – 18:03.0] It was a spiritual group that was founded by a minister from Pennsylvania named Frank Buchman, [18:03.0 – 18:04.4] B-U-C-H-M-A-N. [18:04.4 – 18:14.6] It got its name, Oxford Group, because Buchman got a lot of people interested, and they in turn went abroad, and they went to England and Oxford [18:14.6 – 18:17.0] University, and they got a lot of people interested over there. [18:17.0 – 18:24.4] And from there, they went to South Africa, and they got quite a big meeting down there. [18:24.4 – 18:26.7] I don't know if it was Cape Town or one of those cities. [18:26.7 – 18:36.7] And the reporters referred to them as the group from Oxford, and the damn name stuck, and it had nothing to do with the, the group or its founding or anything in the world. [18:36.7 – 18:39.7] But just like those things happen, that's the name that stuck with it. [18:39.7 – 18:42.5] And it was called the Oxford Group. [18:42.5 – 18:47.4] And they're, they were really trying to find something. [18:47.4 – 18:55.5] It was that time in nineteen twenty-nine when the crash had come on Wall Street, and the, the nation was kind of a low point economically. [18:55.5 – 19:00.7] A lot of people were hopping out of windows in New York, and that's no joke, because they were. [19:00.7 – 19:04.3] A lot of them hit those manholes head-on from the thirtieth floor. [19:04.3 – 19:10.6] And a lot of people were drinking terribly, and they wanted to find something in this Oxford Group. [19:10.6 – 19:15.7] A lot of people came around to it, and of course, a good many of them happened to be alcoholics. [19:15.7 – 19:25.7] And don't ever let yourself think that nobody but an alcoholic can help an alcoholic, because there were a lot of men in this group [19:25.7 – 19:32.6] who were very understanding and had a damn good knowledge of the intentions of an alcoholic's mind. [19:32.6 – 19:38.7] And I sometimes think that our, our minds are no different than anybody else in this world. [19:38.7 – 19:42.3] We just give in to things that other people do not. [19:42.3 – 19:46.1] Well, anyway, that idea appealed to me. [19:46.1 – 19:53.7] I read the book, and I thought about it for a few days, and I started to paint the house. [19:53.7 – 19:58.5] But I had a ladder that was too short, and I couldn't get up to all these places. [19:58.5 – 20:07.1] And I made a deal with the boss painter, and he sent around one of his men with some equipment and materials to finish the house. [20:07.1 – 20:09.0] I didn't touch a drop all that time. [20:09.0 – 20:13.7] But the minute that job was over, sure, I went right back to the bottle because I had nothing more to interest me. [20:13.7 – 20:15.6] It was a letdown. [20:15.6 – 20:25.7] And it was then I meant business after the fellow in the house that I was picked up and taken to this [20:25.7 – 20:27.3] county judge. [20:27.3 – 20:35.0] There's one thing that sticks in my mind, and it always will. [20:35.0 – 20:37.3] I know it was at that time. [20:37.3 – 20:39.4] It may not mean nothing to you. [20:39.4 – 20:42.5] You may not get what I mean by it. [20:42.5 – 20:50.4] But as we drove home that afternoon, this, uh, constable, John Jackson, left me off at the house that I was living in. [20:50.4 – 20:57.2] And he said, "Well, I'll be around to get you Monday." This was Friday. [20:57.2 – 21:07.3] And he said, "Remember, the judge said to be sober." And I said, "Yep, I'll be sober." So I went in the house, and I remembered [21:07.3 – 21:12.5] that downstairs I had about a half a dozen bottles of ale, and I knew that they're gonna be nice and cool. [21:12.5 – 21:17.7] And if there's one thing I like in this world, it's Valentine's Ale, and that was it. [21:17.7 – 21:28.0] So I w- went downstairs, and I said to myself, "I can't possibly get drunk between now [21:28.0 – 21:36.2] and Monday on six bottles of ale, and I know that nobody in town is gonna sell me any more after they've heard that I…" You know what a small amount community it is. [21:36.2 – 21:39.9] Everybody from ten miles up and down the valley knows all about anything like that. [21:39.9 – 21:45.2] I knew there was never any of the bootleggers wouldn't sell me any. [21:45.2 – 21:50.2] And I got down, and I reached for one of those bottles, and uh-uh, I mean, cricket. [21:50.2 – 21:52.1] It's all right. [21:52.1 – 21:54.2] The judge said to get there sober. [21:54.2 – 21:55.4] Well, did you be there sober? [21:55.4 – 21:58.5] No, that's, that is, that's teasing me somehow. [21:58.5 – 22:01.8] And I walked back upstairs, and that damn devil got on my shoulder. [22:01.8 – 22:02.2] "Get on. [22:02.2 – 22:07.0] Go on down there and take it." I couldn't take that damn ale. [22:07.0 – 22:13.0] I said, "Nope, that's not the l– that's not the spirit of the thing. [22:13.0 – 22:15.7] It might be technically, I might be all right. [22:15.7 – 22:17.2] I'd get there sober, I expect. [22:17.2 – 22:19.4] You know, well, that's not exactly what he meant. [22:19.4 – 22:29.5] He didn't say, 'Don't take a drink,' but that's exactly what he meant." So I took them and put them in a basket and carried them over to the, my next-door neighbor, and I said, "Here, [22:29.5 – 22:34.4] they're yours." And that minute, I had a victory. [22:34.4 – 22:35.1] I know that. [22:35.1 – 22:38.8] I had something that was just like a weight being lifted from my shoulders. [22:38.8 – 22:48.9] And I've often thought about it in later years when I started drinking again, why I couldn't recapture that feeling that I had [22:48.9 – 22:49.3] then. [22:49.3 – 22:53.3] But perhaps that's it. [22:53.3 – 23:04.2] It's the pink cloud, and later on, you, you get a more mature, if I might use the word, [23:04.2 – 23:04.6] outlook. [23:04.6 – 23:09.8] But I don't think if you have a slip, you can ever go back again. [23:09.8 – 23:16.9] Well, as it turned out, I went down there Monday, and there had been a third man come to see me, too. [23:16.9 – 23:20.1] His name was Roland Hazzard. [23:20.1 – 23:24.3] And he was a pretty swell gent, too. [23:24.3 – 23:25.6] I never knew him. [23:25.6 – 23:26.7] I never met him before. [23:26.7 – 23:28.1] These other two guys, I had. [23:28.1 – 23:34.7] And he was there Monday when I was brought before the judge. [23:34.7 – 23:46.1] The judge started giving me a little lecture, and he says, "Hi, sir, will you, uh, take this man?" And we said, [23:46.1 – 23:52.5] "Sure." So I was released in my own recognizance, and the charges were dropped. [23:52.5 – 23:56.6] And this guy took me in, took me back home, left me there. [23:56.6 – 23:59.9] Now, a few days later, I closed the house up, went down and stayed with him. [23:59.9 – 24:04.9] He lived about 15 miles below, south of the town. [24:04.9 – 24:08.4] And then we went on down to New York. [24:08.4 – 24:14.3] And I stayed with Chet Cornell and one of his other chaps that had come to see me. [24:14.3 – 24:16.9] I stayed there about a month, I guess. [24:16.9 – 24:23.9] And, uh, during that time, we made trips back to Vermont, houses and I. [24:23.9 – 24:33.9] And two weeks after I was connected with this Oxford Group, my– which is a much looser membership than Alcoholics Anonymous, I really think, [24:33.9 – 24:37.5] and they got me out speaking. [24:37.5 – 24:42.5] The first weekend that I went out speaking, we went up through Vermont. [24:42.5 – 24:52.6] I spoke in a junior college, two churches, a town meeting hall, and someplace else all in two nights, two afternoons [24:52.6 – 24:53.3] and two nights. [24:53.3 – 24:56.4] And I still don't know what I talked about. [24:56.4 – 25:06.4] But I just felt good about the whole thing and, uh, really figured that these guys must have something, that there must be a higher [25:06.4 – 25:16.5] power that gets over the ones that originated the, the phrase, uh, believe in a higher God or a higher power as you [25:16.5 – 25:17.5] understand it. [25:17.5 – 25:27.1] And it was while I was doing this and, and, uh, going back to New York that I heard about Bill. [25:27.1 – 25:29.4] I hadn't seen Bill, I don't believe, for over a year. [25:29.4 – 25:39.1] Although Bill, you see, was born and raised in the town six miles north of this town of Manchester, Vermont, where I used to summer. [25:39.1 – 25:41.8] I also spent quite a few winters there. [25:41.8 – 25:49.4] Uh, and I heard that Bill was in pretty tough shape, drinking bad. [25:49.4 – 25:59.6] And I had been downtown in, uh, in Wall Street and seen some of my old friends, one of whom married Bill's sister-in-law. [25:59.6 – 26:02.2] And he said he was in tough shape. [26:02.2 – 26:12.3] And he said, "Why don't you give him a ring or telephone?" And I said, "Well, I will, but I want to think this thing out a little and get myself a pretty [26:12.3 – 26:22.3] good story, a pretty good text to go for." And I can truthfully say now that I believe that if I– that I went over there, that Bill would either go for it lock, stock, [26:22.3 – 26:24.2] and barrel, or he would have none of it. [26:24.2 – 26:27.3] He wouldn't just play around with it for a little while. [26:27.3 – 26:30.1] And I thought that if he put his teeth into it once, he'd stick to it. [26:30.1 – 26:34.2] Because I thought I knew him pretty well. [26:34.2 – 26:37.2] I had been going to school with him and seen him over the years. [26:37.2 – 26:40.7] So I called him up one night. [26:40.7 – 26:50.8] I didn't get Bill, but I got Lois, his wife, and told her what had happened to me, and it was much [26:50.8 – 26:54.0] to kind of show me something. [26:54.0 – 26:59.8] Well, I don't even sober myself then about, perhaps possibly six or seven weeks. [26:59.8 – 27:08.1] But I think sometimes the initial effect that we get from a thing is we're more powerful then than we are later on. [27:08.1 – 27:10.6] We get stale. [27:10.6 – 27:20.1] Well, anyway, Lois said, "Why don't you come over to dinner tonight?" And, uh, and she mentioned a date. [27:20.1 – 27:27.6] I said, "Fine." So that night, I went over about half past five, I guess, in the evening. [27:27.6 – 27:34.8] And, uh, and I, uh, rang the bell at one eighty-two Clinton Street. [27:34.8 – 27:40.5] The only person home was an old colored man named Green, who I've known for years. [27:40.5 – 27:45.0] He'd been with the family, uh, Lois's family, that is. [27:45.0 – 27:47.9] And he said they're both out, both Mrs. [27:47.9 – 27:48.5] Wilson, Mr. [27:48.5 – 27:50.1] Wilson, and I would come on in. [27:50.1 – 27:57.5] So pretty soon, Bill appeared, and, uh, he'd been drinking, but he wasn't too bad. [27:57.5 – 28:04.0] And said hello and this, that, and the other thing, and he's kind of edging around. [28:04.0 – 28:07.3] And then he made an excuse. [28:07.3 – 28:11.8] He had to go out and get some ice cream and something else for supper. [28:11.8 – 28:14.0] And, of course, I knew what he was going after. [28:14.0 – 28:14.7] I understand. [28:14.7 – 28:17.5] I've done it for many times myself. [28:17.5 – 28:24.0] So then Lois came in, and there was another girl invited. [28:24.0 – 28:29.4] There was a girl invited because, uh, she lived upstairs, and it made the place, uh, into some apartments. [28:29.4 – 28:38.4] So we all sat down to dinner, and Bill got a little garbled in the book about again across the kitchen table. [28:38.4 – 28:39.9] But it don't make any difference. [28:39.9 – 28:40.9] The idea is there. [28:40.9 – 28:45.4] Now, we had dinner, and then we all moved upstairs. [28:45.4 – 28:50.9] In those houses, in, in the back there in the east, most of the living rooms are on the second floor. [28:50.9 – 29:00.6] So we moved up on the second floor, and after a little hemming and hawing, Lois said, "Well, let's hear about yourself." So I started in. [29:00.6 – 29:06.2] I guess they got me wound up, and I guess I talked probably one o'clock in the morning. [29:06.2 – 29:16.2] And I remember Bill said, "I'll walk the subway with you." And I knew that he wasn't going to go for a drink, uh, because he had [29:16.2 – 29:17.4] a bottle in the house anyway. [29:17.4 – 29:27.5] And on the way over, he put his arms around my shoulders just while we were on the subway and said, "I don't know what you got, kid, but you got something, and I want to get it." [29:27.5 – 29:37.2] Well, he didn't stop drinking right away any more than I had stopped drinking back there at that seminar when we– Oxford Group boys came to see me. [29:37.2 – 29:41.9] But the idea was in there, and the idea happened to get in Bill's head. [29:41.9 – 29:51.4] And at that time, I had moved to a mission on First Avenue and 23rd Street in New York City. [29:51.4 – 29:60.0] It was run by Calvary Episcopal Church and called Calvary Mission, and was run under the auspices of this Oxford Group. [29:60.0 – 30:05.5] It was just a typical so-called Bowery mission. [30:05.5 – 30:15.7] We had twelve men who were running it and, uh, excuse me. [30:15.7 – 30:20.0] We only had available beds for about thirty-five men, and they were full every night. [30:20.0 – 30:30.1] So when I was living there, and about two nights after I'd been over to see Bill, he appeared at the mission just as the meeting [30:30.1 – 30:31.1] was about to start. [30:31.1 – 30:34.4] In other words, he had a guy in tow, and they were both visibly drunk. [30:34.4 – 30:39.1] Well, not too bad and wanting about… [30:39.1 – 30:41.4] There was a good many there. [30:41.4 – 30:45.2] That was the– Those meetings there were what you call testimonial meetings. [30:45.2 – 30:53.0] We had a man up on the platform, and, uh, he would, uh, call on various men in the audience. [30:53.0 – 30:56.0] They'd get up, say what they'd found. [30:56.0 – 30:59.8] Of course, the– most of them were doing it just to get a place to sleep. [30:59.8 – 31:03.5] They called taking another bath a god to get a flop. [31:03.5 – 31:05.7] That's the way they expressed it. [31:05.7 – 31:15.8] Well, in the midst of all these proceedings, Bill gets up and walks up to the platform, and he's about six three, three, you know, and he leans his elbow on the piano, and he starts [31:15.8 – 31:16.5] to spout it. [31:16.5 – 31:19.4] And the superintendent said, "Get him down. [31:19.4 – 31:20.0] That's your friend. [31:20.0 – 31:22.1] Pull him down out of there." I said, "Let him go. [31:22.1 – 31:27.5] Let's hear what he's got to say." The guy gave me a dirty look, but he let Bill talk. [31:27.5 – 31:37.6] And then two or three days later, this was sometime late in November, as I've been talking to Jim and Dick [31:37.6 – 31:47.6] and some of the other boys, I wished that either Bill or I or somebody had kept a diary back there so that we could remember dates and have some kind of memory [31:47.6 – 31:54.4] to, to, to our stories because these are about twenty-four years, and you can't, after the last year, recall things accurately. [31:54.4 – 32:04.8] Well, this was sometime late in November in 1934, and it was a few days later that Bill got himself a taxi [32:04.8 – 32:08.9] cab and two or three bottles of beer and went up to Towns Hospital in Central Park West. [32:08.9 – 32:19.3] And when I heard he was up there, I guess it was the next day, I went up to see him because I made up my mind that having [32:19.3 – 32:29.3] started this with Bill, it was up to me to stick it out, which I think is a true thing in every AA close-knit case you [32:29.3 – 32:29.9] go on. [32:29.9 – 32:34.7] If you're gonna do it, don't spread yourself too thin and take on twenty-five or thirty people. [32:34.7 – 32:38.0] I'd rather see you concentrate on one or two. [32:38.0 – 32:42.8] Well, I don't know whether I'm my brother's keeper or not. [32:42.8 – 32:53.0] What I do think, that if you start and put something in a man's mind and possibly in his heart and soul, you gotta stick with him through his tough spots [32:53.0 – 33:00.1] as well as his, his victories because you, you're the one that started it, and it's up to you to see that he gets on his feet. [33:00.1 – 33:10.3] So I followed Bill up, up there, and we had some talks, and he got out, and he went back down around Wells Street, and [33:10.3 – 33:17.1] then to make a few little moves in there, and I kept prodding herd on him. [33:17.1 – 33:20.5] As I say, I wasn't conscious, but I rode herd on him. [33:20.5 – 33:30.6] And, uh, he came around, and he began to attend Oxford Group meetings, which I might add are exactly the [33:30.6 – 33:33.8] same as AA meetings today. [33:33.8 – 33:36.3] They had a speaker, I mean, a leader. [33:36.3 – 33:38.8] That's what they called it. [33:38.8 – 33:39.9] They didn't call it chairman. [33:39.9 – 33:42.2] They called it the leader and three or four speakers. [33:42.2 – 33:49.1] And Bill spoke many times from Calvary House in Gramercy Park North in New York City. [33:49.1 – 33:59.1] And later on, when we split from the Oxford Group and became Alcoholics Anonymous, we went back to that place and had [33:59.1 – 34:01.4] our meetings there up to about two years ago. [34:01.4 – 34:04.9] The original Manhattan group. [34:04.9 – 34:15.1] Now, of course, uh, Ohio, Cleveland, and many of the other cities, uh, claim [34:15.1 – 34:18.8] that they are the original AA, but, well, I don't know. [34:18.8 – 34:29.0] I kind of dispute that a little bit because it was a clear succession right through from the Oxford Group meetings until the time we broke off, and the meetings [34:29.0 – 34:30.4] went around Bill's house. [34:30.4 – 34:39.1] And then they went to Stanway Hall on 57th Street, and from there to Burt Taylor's shop on Fifth Avenue. [34:39.1 – 34:43.0] We occupied one of the floors of his tailor shop. [34:43.0 – 34:45.3] Finish up the front of the end there. [34:45.3 – 34:52.3] And, uh, let's see. [34:52.3 – 34:58.5] They, uh, then there's a direct succession, but I don't care whether Cleveland- [34:59.0 – 35:02.4] anybody else claims the first group, it makes little difference. [35:02.4 – 35:03.7] The thing got started. [35:03.7 – 35:15.5] So Bill and I were together a great deal that first winter, and then I went back to Albany in, [35:15.5 – 35:17.2] uh, 1936. [35:17.2 – 35:25.0] And Bill went on to found AA. [35:25.0 – 35:27.5] Now, he– and he's really the one. [35:27.5 – 35:30.9] I just had something to do with giving him the idea. [35:30.9 – 35:37.6] He went on to, with Doctor Bob, found AA. [35:37.6 – 35:43.5] And, uh, in 1937, I had a slip. [35:43.5 – 35:51.4] I fell off the wagon after two years and seven months, which was slightly different from that DuPont film. [35:51.4 – 35:55.3] The DuPont film had me falling off a month after I talked to Bill, but I wasn't sober. [35:55.3 – 35:57.9] I was two months– two years and six months later. [35:57.9 – 36:01.6] And I've had a good little trouble off and on. [36:01.6 – 36:11.8] Uh, if I want to go back and count the years, I can count possibly fifteen [36:11.8 – 36:16.6] years of complete sobriety out of the twenty-four, maybe sixteen years. [36:16.6 – 36:25.1] But they were the longest of sixteen months and eight months and seven months, and so on. [36:25.1 – 36:31.3] And, uh, the summer of 1953, I was again in New York City drinking. [36:31.3 – 36:41.4] And I walked into the Intergroup one day, and, uh, Hazel Wright, one of the secretaries there, said, [36:41.4 – 36:43.9] "I think I've got a man that can help you. [36:43.9 – 36:52.1] He's got something real and something tangible." And she said, "I'm gonna call him right away." And she called this man who came down screaming. [36:52.1 – 37:02.2] He says, "Where do you drink?" And I said, "Well, I don't ." He says, "Come on, let's go." And he said, "I ran into Steve McGray, the [37:02.2 – 37:13.1] man who originally came to see you over in Paris, France." And he said, "How's old Eddie doing?" This guy said, "I don't know Eddie, but I hear he's not doing at all." So [37:13.1 – 37:20.8] he says, "Steve told me that you didn't have a chance here in New York, and we don't think you have." I said, "I know damn well I haven't. [37:20.8 – 37:21.2] I'm licked. [37:21.2 – 37:31.5] I can't throw it off." Well, he said, "How about going to Texas?" "Well," I said, "I don't know about that." Well, [37:31.5 – 37:37.8] he expounded on the virtues of Texas and the good old American ways of living that were still down in these parts of the country. [37:37.8 – 37:44.0] He gave me five dollars and bought me another drink and said, "I'll see you tomorrow night." So he did, and he appeared at the forum. [37:44.0 – 37:49.9] And of course, I worked him for another five dollars, that's for sure, and a few more drinks. [37:49.9 – 37:52.4] And that was Thursday night. [37:52.4 – 38:02.5] Now, he said, "I'm not gonna see you anymore, but the offer still holds good." Saturday morning, I walked over to his apartment building and, uh, [38:02.5 – 38:03.4] he was outside. [38:03.4 – 38:05.8] He was coming in one door, and I was going in the other. [38:05.8 – 38:09.5] And I said, "Charlie, here I am." His name is Charlie Moulton. [38:09.5 – 38:17.6] And, uh, I said, "Here I am." Well, he says, "You ready to go to Texas?" "I don't know about Texas," I said, "but I'm ready to quit drinking. [38:17.6 – 38:27.7] I haven't had a drink since last night." So he took me up in his apartment and, uh, got me some clean clothes and a shower, which [38:27.7 – 38:28.7] I badly needed. [38:28.7 – 38:40.5] That night, he called up Ole Lancaster in Dallas and said, uh, "How about taking this guy down there?" "All right," he said, "send me Yankee son of a bitch down." I [38:40.5 – 38:42.2] could hear Ole booming it off. [38:42.2 – 38:50.1] So the next– we got a reservation that night on, uh, American Airlines for Sunday evening. [38:50.1 – 38:53.9] You know, it was the Sunday before Labor Day, September sixth. [38:53.9 – 38:58.8] And the dirty son of a gun never even gave me a drink. [38:58.8 – 39:05.1] After three months drunk, I got on board that plane, and I didn't know whether I was on a plane or a ferry boat or where I was. [39:05.1 – 39:08.4] And I got off the plane. [39:08.4 – 39:14.3] It was a non-stop, and I would've been austere in hell if it had been a, been on a stop anyway. [39:14.3 – 39:19.1] I got off that plane, and I– the first place I'm out of it. [39:19.1 – 39:23.2] And no sooner I had that thing rolled up, and I zoomed, and I was down on the steps. [39:23.2 – 39:26.2] I'd had enough flying for one night. [39:26.2 – 39:30.4] When I got down there and I looked around, I saw two big guys. [39:30.4 – 39:33.1] And of course, I was having hallucinations all over the place. [39:33.1 – 39:41.0] And I said, "They're either a couple of G-men or they're a couple of goons from some gangster squad." And then I heard that booming voice again. [39:41.0 – 39:42.7] "There's the Yankee bastard. [39:42.7 – 39:44.3] There he is. [39:44.3 – 39:51.0] I've seen him in New York." So they got a hold of me, and I pulled me in the car and took me down to the Texas Clinic. [39:51.0 – 39:53.5] And I stayed there. [39:53.5 – 39:55.7] I guess I stayed there all together about two, three months. [39:55.7 – 40:02.3] But the first two or three weeks, I, it was pretty rugged because I'm gonna tell you right now, I had hallucinations all over the place. [40:02.3 – 40:05.5] I didn't believe I was in Texas. [40:05.5 – 40:08.4] I didn't drag a wire to the place. [40:08.4 – 40:18.4] Uh, one of the girls there that was taking care of the books and sort of running things took me downtown one day, and I couldn't get back in that place fast enough. [40:18.4 – 40:21.1] I was scared of the car, the traffic. [40:21.1 – 40:23.8] I was scared of everything. [40:23.8 – 40:25.8] And it wasn't– I was there two weeks later. [40:25.8 – 40:28.1] The guy said, "I'm going out to mail some letters to the airport. [40:28.1 – 40:29.7] Do you want to go out?" And I said, "I sure do. [40:29.7 – 40:39.8] I want to see this airport and see if I'm really in Dallas." And I got out there, and I got out of the car, and I walked up to this placard that said, "Love Field, Dallas, Texas." And I put my hand on [40:39.8 – 40:42.2] it, and I said, "All right, I'm in Dallas." I believe it was. [40:42.2 – 40:53.0] I swear as I stand here I did not believe I was in Dallas 'cause I said, "It's been a pretty rugged drunk and a pretty hot summer, and I haven't had much to eat in those three months." [40:53.0 – 40:54.7] And I was drinking everything I could lay my hands on. [40:54.7 – 40:56.4] And then to be cut short like that. [40:56.4 – 41:01.7] To top it all, they gave me some goofballs down there, and I hate those things anyway. [41:01.7 – 41:02.7] I hate the effect of them. [41:02.7 – 41:12.8] They just make me Well, I've, I'm sorry that I've taken up so much time telling you it's all been of myself, but I didn't [41:12.8 – 41:16.4] know how to bring the history of A.A. [41:16.4 – 41:16.6] in. [41:16.6 – 41:21.1] You've all seen how it spread, how it's worked. [41:21.1 – 41:25.0] I know that if it hadn't been for A.A. [41:25.0 – 41:28.1] when I got to Texas, I never would have been able to survive. [41:28.1 – 41:32.5] Just coming out here alone, I'd have been lost. [41:32.5 – 41:41.2] It was tough enough as it was because I was amongst strange people, slightly different ways than ours. [41:41.2 – 41:49.0] Uh, it, it was an upheaval to get from the Bowery down here in six hours and change yourself all around. [41:49.0 – 41:59.1] But if it hadn't been for those good Texas people and the people in the Suburban Club, if I hadn't been a, uh, able to go around there [41:59.1 – 42:08.8] and stay there and shake after two weeks before I went in the club, a little over two weeks, I walked by one day and saw I got the sweats, lost my nerve, went back to the clinic. [42:08.8 – 42:12.6] Almost like a guy going back and hiding under the bed. [42:12.6 – 42:16.2] And I know the trouble times. [42:16.2 – 42:18.2] They said, "Well, I know." I heard them talking. [42:18.2 – 42:19.5] "I don't know what we're gonna do with this guy. [42:19.5 – 42:24.6] He's gone goofy." And then I had a colored girl that worked there. [42:24.6 – 42:29.4] She's quite an old girl, woman, and she said, "Don't you worry about that man. [42:29.4 – 42:32.0] You just leave him alone, and he's coming out of it. [42:32.0 – 42:35.2] He's sick." And that's just what I was. [42:35.2 – 42:40.4] I was sick, mentally and physically, and gradually I worked out of it. [42:40.4 – 42:41.5] Nature took over. [42:41.5 – 42:46.6] And then I was able to get around the club and get into the activities. [42:46.6 – 42:49.9] And maybe I got in and went too fast. [42:49.9 – 42:53.3] That was the hottest summer that had been on record in the Texas Weather Bureau. [42:53.3 – 43:03.6] I went down on the ranch, and I was out working the sheep with a man, and he hooked me in as a sheep man, and that's kind of rugged work on a ninety-five degree [43:03.6 – 43:04.0] day. [43:04.0 – 43:11.3] And I got mixed up in an oil deal, and I sold some insurance stock, and every one of them flopped. [43:11.3 – 43:14.4] The insurance company did almost. [43:14.4 – 43:18.3] They're still struggling to get back on its feet. [43:18.3 – 43:21.7] And I got in another deal, and that flopped. [43:21.7 – 43:27.1] I was sober a year, and one month after the year was up, I flopped. [43:27.1 – 43:31.7] And that was in October 1954. [43:31.7 – 43:35.6] Out of thirteen months, and I only had a few days drinking then. [43:35.6 – 43:43.8] And, uh, it was over a three-week period that I got slapped in the county jail for ten days and got with Mr. [43:43.8 – 43:45.4] Bill Becker's Emporium. [43:45.4 – 43:50.2] And I came out, and some friends put me in their house, and I sobered up. [43:50.2 – 43:52.9] And I haven't had a drink since. [43:52.9 – 44:00.0] In other words, I've had about five years sobriety in Texas. [44:00.0 – 44:05.8] Out of five years and one month, I've had five years sobriety total. [44:05.8 – 44:16.0] And I know that I'm grateful to Seymour Graves over there in Paris and Charlie for following it up, and for the people in Texas, [44:16.0 – 44:20.4] and over here, all of you people, who have given me another chance. [44:20.4 – 44:23.4] I couldn't have done it by myself. [44:23.4 – 44:26.8] I didn't under my own steam, I did it. [44:26.8 – 44:37.0] And I know that my sobriety in these four years, these last four years that I've been sober, it hasn't been my [44:37.0 – 44:38.7] sole effort that's kept me sober. [44:38.7 – 44:43.8] Nor do I believe it has been entirely the friendship and the help of people. [44:43.8 – 44:49.1] I think it has been the help of a higher power. [44:49.1 – 44:58.6] And while I've lost that idea some times along this way of life, thank God I got it back again. [44:58.6 – 45:03.0] Because I know that I couldn't exist without it. [45:03.0 – 45:13.2] There are times when I know I'm not like a great many people I hear talk that they say there isn't [45:13.2 – 45:17.1] a day in their lives that they don't fight the desire to take a drink. [45:17.1 – 45:20.2] Well, I'm telling you right now, flat out, I'd go get drunk. [45:20.2 – 45:26.0] I couldn't be that much of a hero to fight it every day and every hour. [45:26.0 – 45:28.0] I don't have that. [45:28.0 – 45:34.4] But I do have periods every three or four months when it's maybe two or three days it's rugged. [45:34.4 – 45:37.5] That's all I think about, is taking a drink. [45:37.5 – 45:47.6] And if I haven't got myself conditioned to the correct way of thinking and knowing that if I take that drink where I'm going to end up, now [45:47.6 – 45:57.5] I'm, I have no doubt that this time I know that that last drink that was drunk, that the, the liquor knocked me so badly physically and mentally too, that I'd never survive another one. [45:57.5 – 46:07.5] And I get that in my head, and I get, I keep it there in spite of the fact that I want to go out and– I get sick of this being in harness every day and going [46:07.5 – 46:08.1] to work. [46:08.1 – 46:15.2] And, uh, I'm getting along in years, and I'd, I like to have a little rest once in a while, but I got to go and work. [46:15.2 – 46:23.1] And I often think if I'd come home tonight, I'd like to take one good slug of whiskey or one bottle of Valentine's Ale and then go eat. [46:23.1 – 46:27.4] It'd help me a lot, and it probably would help me physically. [46:27.4 – 46:28.8] It'd give me lift. [46:28.8 – 46:31.7] But I know I can't do it. [46:31.7 – 46:34.5] So what is the use of tying with the idea? [46:34.5 – 46:42.0] I don't quite, quite get so much the idea that I used to, that I'd like to get drunk. [46:42.0 – 46:47.9] Although that occurs once in a while because I think in every one of us there's another person. [46:47.9 – 46:48.9] There's an alter ego. [46:48.9 – 46:52.6] And that old drunk that was Evie Thatcher is still in there. [46:52.6 – 46:54.3] He may be dormant, but he's there. [46:54.3 – 46:55.5] He's like a volcano. [46:55.5 – 46:57.8] You take the top off, and he's gone boom. [46:57.8 – 47:02.0] Only this time, he goes boom, boom under the hole. [47:02.0 – 47:11.3] And I haven't got anything much more to say except stick to your A.A. [47:11.3 – 47:14.9] And stick to God. [47:14.9 – 47:23.5] And I think that you'll find that if you're having any trouble, you'll find help there. [47:23.5 – 47:32.0] I want to thank Dick, and I want to thank the other members, and all you people who have entertained me, and I sure have enjoyed coming to Memphis. [47:32.0 – 47:32.6] Thank you. [47:32.6 – 47:44.5] While [47:44.5 – 47:56.4] we are convincing you that there are no doings of thieves in AA, and Hal and the boys are passing the remittance basket, I [47:56.4 – 48:08.4] want to say again, if you happen to go out Texas way, where Ebby has been, and where Ebby has been the last five years, the [48:08.4 – 48:13.5] AA out there is no different than the AA that you have here in Memphis, Tennessee. [48:13.5 – 48:22.8] Because my first visit to Memphis was in 1935, when you first organized and you were getting together there. [48:22.8 – 48:33.0] And one of the great pleasures of AA is to walk in and see men and women right in this audience here tonight who were here and active [48:33.0 – 48:37.2] in '35 that are here and active tonight. [48:37.2 – 48:43.1] Everyone that comes in AA just doesn't walk in, dust themselves, and stay sober. [48:43.1 – 48:49.0] You have a disease called alcoholism, and it's a tough one. [48:49.0 – 48:50.7] Some people are lucky. [48:50.7 – 48:51.5] I don't know. [48:51.5 – 48:59.3] I don't know who I shot, whose mother-in-law or mine that I pushed down stairs that gave me the right. [48:59.3 – 49:03.2] I've got to another grasp, even as today. [49:03.2 – 49:06.9] Why should I stay sober and some other guy didn't? [49:06.9 – 49:10.4] He's an alcoholic just like I am. [49:10.4 – 49:13.7] I don't know what it is, and I'm not going to try to answer it. [49:13.7 – 49:15.8] But I do know this. [49:15.8 – 49:21.4] As long as you remember yesterday, it's a great help for tomorrow. [49:21.4 – 49:29.0] The quicker you forgive yourself, the quicker you're going to get well. [49:29.0 – 49:39.0] But when you forget where you found your sobriety, how you got sober, and you retire to the [49:39.0 – 49:46.7] country club and no longer are active in AA, you are no longer taking your medicine. [49:46.7 – 49:52.7] And if you don't take your medicine, someday down the road, oh, you can point to me, as Ebby can. [49:52.7 – 49:59.2] I can show you guys that are sober five, six, and seven, eight, and ten years that never show up anymore. [49:59.2 – 50:02.7] But for your information, they're not dead yet. [50:02.7 – 50:09.2] I know a lot of people with different diseases that have arrested them. [50:09.2 – 50:16.7] You can arrest your alcoholism, and maybe you can stay sober if you never come back to AA. [50:16.7 – 50:23.4] And if you never come back to AA, I'm one that will never miss you. [50:23.4 – 50:33.4] Because if you're ungrateful as that for what you found, I don't think, me personally, that I would need you, and I'm [50:33.4 – 50:35.1] only speaking for myself. [50:35.1 – 50:37.6] Because you found it. [50:37.6 – 50:38.8] I found it. [50:38.8 – 50:48.9] And I think today, the greatest thought that we can have in Alcoholics Anonymous, not for you who are so lucky that are here [50:48.9 – 50:50.5] tonight and all over the world in AA. [50:50.5 – 51:01.4] If God in His infinite wisdom gave us this privilege of staying sober such as we are tonight, and [51:01.4 – 51:08.4] I turn my back on the guy I left behind me, I don't deserve sobriety. [51:08.4 – 51:11.8] That's merely my own opinion. [51:11.8 – 51:19.4] I belong to the greatest fellowship in the world, and that fellowship is called Alcoholics Anonymous. [51:19.4 – 51:28.5] Everything I have tonight, everything I will ever get any other night from herein, come from men and women, God bless you, just like you. [51:28.5 – 51:36.3] May I always be with you, and may someday I really be worthy of you. [51:36.3 – 51:44.6] At all meetings all over the country, those who wish to join us, we close by saying the Our Father. [51:44.6 – 51:46.5] Those who care to, will you join me? [51:46.5 – 51:57.1] Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed [51:57.1 – 51:57.9] be thy name. [51:57.9 – 52:05.3] Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. [52:05.3 – 52:15.3] Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. [52:15.3 – 52:25.8] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory [52:25.8 – 52:26.5] forever and ever. [52:26.5 – 52:27.2] Amen.