Transcript

[00:00.1 – 00:07.0] Have heard or have read articles written about the inception of AA. [00:07.0 – 00:11.0] There are probably some who haven't. [00:11.0 – 00:16.9] And from that brief story, there are some things to be learned. [00:16.9 – 00:27.2] So even at risk of repetition, I would like to relate just exactly what did happen [00:27.2 – 00:30.8] in those, uh, very early days. [00:30.8 – 00:41.0] And I feel there is a lesson to be learned, and one that we must never forget if we wish [00:41.0 – 00:47.8] to maintain the paid-up insurance policies against our drinking. [00:47.8 – 00:57.8] You recall the story about Bill having, uh, been, uh, having had [00:57.8 – 01:06.4] some spiritual experience, having been, uh, sold on the idea of attempting to be helpful to others. [01:06.4 – 01:16.4] You undoubtedly recall the fact that he had been working quite hard at it for around five months or so, almost [01:16.4 – 01:24.8] incessantly, and still had not created, if you please, a single convert. [01:24.8 – 01:28.2] Not one. [01:28.2 – 01:31.8] As we express it, no one had gelled. [01:31.8 – 01:36.4] But he had worked tirelessly. [01:36.4 – 01:46.2] There was no thought of saving his own strength or time or anything, but, uh, nothing seemed to register. [01:46.2 – 01:58.3] When he flew off to Akron on this business mission, which [01:58.3 – 02:11.6] perhaps for the good of all of us turned out to be quite a flop, although he had the same lick, but didn't know it, he [02:11.6 – 02:13.3] was tempted to drink. [02:13.3 – 02:25.0] And he was pacing up and down the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel, wondering whether he better buy those two fists of gin or, [02:25.0 – 02:29.0] and be a king for a night, as he expresses it, or not. [02:29.0 – 02:39.1] And his teachings led him to believe that he possibly might avoid getting into difficulties if he found [02:39.1 – 02:41.2] some alcoholic on whom to work. [02:41.2 – 02:51.8] And spying the name of our good friend, Reverend Walters, on the bulletin board in the lobby of the Mayflower, [02:51.8 – 03:01.8] he called up the good doctor and, uh, asked him the names of some of the group [03:01.8 – 03:11.3] of people with whom he had been affiliated and through whose, through whose instrumentality he, he had acquired, uh, sobriety. [03:11.3 – 03:20.4] The good doctor said he wasn't one, but he knew quite a number, and he gave him quite a little list, I guess about nine or ten of them. [03:20.4 – 03:28.2] So Bill starts to call them up without very much success. [03:28.2 – 03:28.7] They were… [03:28.7 – 03:36.7] had either just left town, or they were just leaving town, or they were having a party, or they had a sore toe or something. [03:36.7 – 03:46.7] Anyway, they came down to the end, or at least very nearly the end, and his, [03:46.7 – 03:48.6] uh, eye lights on the name Mrs. [03:48.6 – 03:51.6] and happened to get our good friend Henrietta. [03:51.6 – 04:02.1] But he called up, uh, good Henry and told her what he wanted, and she said, "Come right out [04:02.1 – 04:12.1] and have luncheon." So off he went and went into his story in considerable detail, and she said, "I have just the man for you." [04:12.1 – 04:22.3] So she rushes to the farm and calls up Anne and tells her that she [04:22.3 – 04:26.8] has just the fellow to be helpful to Bob, and we should come over. [04:26.8 – 04:37.3] Annie said, "Well, I guess we better not go today." But Henry is very persuasive, very determined [04:37.3 – 04:37.9] individual. [04:37.9 – 04:40.2] She said, "Oh, yes, come on over. [04:40.2 – 04:47.0] I, I know it'll be helpful to Bob." Well, Annie didn't think it was quite wise for us to come over today. [04:47.0 – 04:57.4] And finally, Henry bore in to such an extent that she had to tell her that I was very much in the sack and, [04:57.4 – 05:07.0] uh, had in fact surpassed all capabilities for listening to any conversation, and it would just possibly have to be postponed. [05:07.0 – 05:16.1] So she tapped in the next day, having invited, being Sunday and Mother's Day, and we said that, uh, Anne said we would be over. [05:16.1 – 05:22.1] Well, I don't ever remember feeling much worse. [05:22.1 – 05:32.5] But being very fond of Henry and having said we'd go over, we started over, and I extracted this solemn [05:32.5 – 05:42.5] promise, man, on the way over that fifteen minutes of this stuff was tops, that I didn't want to talk to this mug or anybody else, and we'd really make [05:42.5 – 05:43.1] it snappy. [05:43.1 – 05:47.1] Now, these are actual facts. [05:47.1 – 05:52.1] Uh, we got there at five o'clock, and it was eleven fifteen when we left. [05:52.1 – 06:02.3] Now, you know, uh, or possibly your memories are good enough to carry you back to certain times when you [06:02.3 – 06:03.7] haven't felt too good. [06:03.7 – 06:14.0] And you can easily visualize the fact that you wouldn't have listened to anybody unless that individual had r-really had something [06:14.0 – 06:14.6] to tell you. [06:14.6 – 06:17.1] And that's the way I felt about Bill. [06:17.1 – 06:26.7] And I recognized the fact that he did have something, and so I listened those, um, many hours. [06:26.7 – 06:32.8] And, uh, I stopped drinking immediately. [06:32.8 – 06:42.8] But very shortly after that, there was a medical meeting in, uh, Atlantic City, and [06:42.8 – 06:46.2] I d- uh, developed a terrific thirst for knowledge. [06:46.2 – 06:48.2] I had to have knowledge. [06:48.2 – 06:53.9] So we would go to– I would go to Atlantic City and absorb lots of knowledge. [06:53.9 – 07:04.1] I usually mention the fact that I incidentally had acquired a thirst for, for scotch, w- but I didn't mention that. [07:04.1 – 07:09.1] But anyway, I went to Atlantic City and really hung one on. [07:09.1 – 07:17.7] And, uh, when I was– came to, I was in the home of a friend of ours in Cuyahoga Falls, one of our suburbs. [07:17.7 – 07:28.0] And Bill came over and got me and, uh, got me home, uh, gave me a hooker or two of scotch that night and a bottle of beer the next [07:28.0 – 07:28.4] morning. [07:28.4 – 07:37.6] And, uh, that was on the tenth of June of thirty-five, and I have had no alcohol in any form that I know of since. [07:37.6 – 07:47.9] Now, the, the, uh, interesting [07:47.9 – 07:57.9] part of all this, and not all these sordid details, but the, uh, uh, condition that we two fellows were [07:57.9 – 07:58.2] in. [07:58.2 – 08:08.2] We had both been associated with the same, uh, bunch of, uh, people, he in New York and I in Akron. [08:08.2 – 08:12.2] I had been associated with them, in fact, for two years and a half. [08:12.2 – 08:15.3] He for five months. [08:15.3 – 08:22.0] He had a-acquired this idea of service, uh, and that I had not. [08:22.0 – 08:29.9] But I had, uh, done an immense amount of reading, which they recommended. [08:29.9 – 08:37.7] I had refreshed my memory on the Good Book, and I'd had an excellent training in that as a youngster. [08:37.7 – 08:44.9] They told me that I should go to their meetings regularly, and I did every week. [08:44.9 – 08:52.0] They said I should, uh, affiliate myself with some church, and we did that. [08:52.0 – 09:02.0] And they also said that I should cultivate the habit of prayer, and I did that, at [09:02.0 – 09:05.6] least to quite a considerable extent for me. [09:05.6 – 09:12.1] Uh, but I got tight every night. [09:12.1 – 09:18.9] And I mean that, uh, once in a while, it was practically every night. [09:18.9 – 09:25.3] Uh, and I couldn't understand what was wrong. [09:25.3 – 09:32.2] I had done all these things that these good people told me to, every one of them. [09:32.2 – 09:39.0] And I thought very faithfully and sincerely, but I still continued to overindulge. [09:39.0 – 09:49.1] But the one thing that they hadn't told me was the one thing that Bill had, the, uh, instruction [09:49.1 – 09:51.4] to attempt to be helpful to somebody else. [09:51.4 – 10:00.4] So we immediately started to look around for prospects, and it wasn't long before one appeared in the form of a man whom you all know. [10:00.4 – 10:04.6] I suspect many of you know, a good friend of Akron. [10:04.6 – 10:11.1] Now, I knew that this, uh, Bill was a Sunday school superintendent. [10:11.1 – 10:17.5] And I also thought that he probably forgot more about the Good Book every night than I ever knew. [10:17.5 – 10:23.4] And h- uh, who was I to be trying to tell him about it? [10:23.4 – 10:28.4] And this, uh, made me feel somewhat, uh, hypocritical. [10:28.4 – 10:35.3] It was quite a job for me to talk to him, uh, on that sort of subject. [10:35.3 – 10:45.3] But anyway, we both did, and I'm very glad to say the conversation fell on fertile [10:45.3 – 10:45.8] ground. [10:45.8 – 10:56.3] Then in October, we had three dumped in our laps, uh, [10:56.3 – 10:57.9] almost simultaneously. [10:57.9 – 11:09.3] But the point I wanted to bring out was the fact that, uh, [11:09.3 – 11:19.5] that in my mind, the spirit of service is of prime importance, although it has to be backed up with some, [11:19.5 – 11:22.0] uh, knowledge of, uh, the subject. [11:22.0 – 11:28.4] I know I used to go to the hospital, and I'd stand there and, and talk. [11:28.4 – 11:34.0] I talked many a time to a chap in a bed for five or six hours. [11:34.0 – 11:40.7] I don't know how he, he ever stood me for five or six hours, but he did. [11:40.7 – 11:43.7] Well, he, he had me close or something. [11:43.7 – 11:54.1] But anyway, uh, the– it came to my mind that, uh, I probably didn't know too much about what I was talking. [11:54.1 – 12:04.2] Therefore, we being stewards of what we [12:04.2 – 12:12.3] have, and that includes our time, I was not giving a good account of my stewardship of time. [12:12.3 – 12:22.3] If it took me six hours to say something to this man that I could have said in an hour, we'll say, if I'd known what [12:22.3 – 12:28.6] I was talking about, I suddenly was not a very efficient individual. [12:28.6 – 12:34.8] And incidentally, I'm somewhat allergic to work anyway. [12:34.8 – 12:45.1] So, uh, I felt that I should, uh, continue to increase my familiarity [12:45.1 – 12:55.1] not only with the good book, but, uh, read a good deal of good standard literature, and possibly something of, uh, scientific interest along with it. [12:55.1 – 13:01.5] So I did cultivate this habit of reading, and I think I've… [13:01.5 – 13:09.3] I think I'm not exaggerating when I say that I have probably averaged to read an hour a day for the last fifteen years. [13:09.3 – 13:20.1] Now, I don't say that to try to sell you on the idea that you've got to cultivate that habit of reading an hour a day, because [13:20.1 – 13:24.6] there are plenty of people and fine AAs that don't read very much. [13:24.6 – 13:30.4] And you see, back in those days, we were groping in the dark entirely. [13:30.4 – 13:34.4] We did not, uh, know much about it. [13:34.4 – 13:37.5] We knew practically nothing of alcoholism. [13:37.5 – 13:42.7] I, a physician, knew nothing about it to speak of. [13:42.7 – 13:47.8] Oh, I'd read about it, but there wasn't anything worth reading in any of the textbooks. [13:47.8 – 13:58.0] And, uh, usually the information about it consisted on, uh, some fair treatments for DTs if you'd gone that far, and if you hadn't, why [13:58.0 – 14:02.3] you prescribed a few bromides and, uh, gave the fellow a good lecture. [14:02.3 – 14:06.3] None of which, of course, uh, amounted very much. [14:06.3 – 14:16.4] And in early, uh, AA days, we became quite convinced that, uh, [14:16.4 – 14:26.8] the spiritual program was fine, but it, uh, we could help the Lord out a little with some supplementary [14:26.8 – 14:27.6] diet. [14:27.6 – 14:37.9] So, uh, in the early days, Bill, having a lot of stomach trouble, had stumbled across the fact [14:37.9 – 14:44.8] that, uh, he got along much better on sauerkraut and gold meadows. [14:44.8 – 14:53.7] And so we thought that inasmuch as Bill had, had that experience, that w- probably everyone else would share the same. [14:53.7 – 15:03.8] But of course, we discovered later that the, uh, most any dietary restriction had very little to do with the acquisition and [15:03.8 – 15:05.6] maintenance of permanent sobriety. [15:05.6 – 15:14.9] We, uh, in our own stories in the mountain things speak of, when I, we started in on Bill, we had no Twelve Steps. [15:14.9 – 15:16.3] We had no traditions. [15:16.3 – 15:19.2] We had, uh, nothing of that kind. [15:19.2 – 15:28.7] But we were convinced that the answer to our problem was in the good book. [15:28.7 – 15:39.0] And it, uh, became somewhat evident, we thought, to some of the, us older ones, that [15:39.0 – 15:48.1] it was contained, the fact that we found absolutely essential to a rather limited section of the good book. [15:48.1 – 15:56.4] In other words, the Sermon on the Mount, thirteenth chapter of Corinthians, and the Book of James. [15:56.4 – 16:02.2] I think we got those ideas pretty firmly implanted in our minds very early. [16:02.2 – 16:12.5] And we had in those days, our membership got to five and seven and ten, and still small. [16:12.5 – 16:17.2] Why, we used to have daily meetings in somebody's house. [16:17.2 – 16:27.2] Um, it was probably providentially arranged that, uh, this all happened at a time when [16:27.2 – 16:31.8] everybody was broke, and awfully broke, too. [16:31.8 – 16:34.5] It was probably much easier for [16:34.7 – 16:44.1] To be successful when broke than it would have been to have been successful if we'd had, uh, a good checking account piece. [16:44.1 – 16:54.1] But I know that we were, we were every one of us just so painfully broke that, well, it wasn't a [16:54.1 – 16:54.9] pleasant thought. [16:54.9 – 17:03.3] But nothing could be done about it, and everybody else was broke, too, and so we didn't take it too much to heart. [17:03.3 – 17:09.0] But I do think that that was providentially arranged. [17:09.0 – 17:19.5] But anyway, we kept on having these meetings and having these discussions and attending the meetings of the, [17:19.5 – 17:29.7] these good people with whom we had been associated, and did continue to have them with them until, in Akron I'm talking [17:29.7 – 17:35.5] about, of course, until about '40, or maybe early in '41. [17:35.5 – 17:38.4] Might have been January of '41. [17:38.4 – 17:40.3] I don't recall the exact date. [17:40.3 – 17:50.4] When we outgrew the residence of this good friend who had allowed us to bang up the plaster and the, uh, door jambs, [17:50.4 – 17:52.8] uh, carting chairs up and down stairs. [17:52.8 – 17:54.2] He had a very beautiful home. [17:54.2 – 18:04.4] Uh, we had outgrown that, and so we stepped out and, uh, in a short time acquired the rental [18:04.4 – 18:14.4] of the auditorium in the King School, and we have, we, I mean, I'm talking about the group that I attend personally, have [18:14.4 – 18:15.3] been there ever since. [18:15.3 – 18:21.1] We attempt to have a good meeting, and I think we're usually successful. [18:21.1 – 18:31.2] But it wasn't until '39 that the, uh, teachings and efforts and studies that, [18:31.2 – 18:35.9] uh, had been going on were crystallized in the form of the 12 Steps. [18:35.9 – 18:39.7] I didn't write the 12 Steps. [18:39.7 – 18:42.4] I had nothing to do with the writing of them. [18:42.4 – 18:53.1] I think probably I had something to do with, with, uh, them indirectly, uh, because after this [18:53.1 – 19:02.6] June 10th episode, Bill came to live at our house and stayed for about, what is it, about three months. [19:02.6 – 19:11.4] And there was hardly a night in that three months that we didn't sit up till 2:00 or 3:00 discussing these things. [19:11.4 – 19:21.4] And it'd be hard for me to conceive that something wasn't said as during those nightly discussions around our kitchen table [19:21.4 – 19:25.9] that influenced the actual writing of the 12 Steps. [19:25.9 – 19:34.1] They're much more handy to have in that form, of course. [19:34.1 – 19:43.2] We had the ideas, uh, pretty much basically, but not in, uh, terse and tangible form. [19:43.2 – 19:50.3] We got them, as I said, as a result of our study and effort out of the Good Book. [19:50.3 – 20:00.4] We must have had them because, uh, we have learned from experience that they're very important in maintaining sobriety, and we were maintaining [20:00.4 – 20:06.6] sobriety, therefore we had them, but not in exactly the written form as you know them now. [20:06.6 – 20:14.3] But that was the way that things started off in Akron. [20:14.3 – 20:22.7] And, uh, as we grew, I thought, uh, we began to get offshoots. [20:22.7 – 20:32.7] First one was in Cleveland, and I don't remember the next one, but, uh, anyway, they were started in Akron not too long [20:32.7 – 20:36.9] after that and, uh, have been continuing ever since. [20:36.9 – 20:47.0] It is a great source of satisfaction to me to feel that I may have played some part in speaking in my two bits' [20:47.0 – 20:49.8] worth towards getting this thing started. [20:49.8 – 20:54.1] I like to think that I have done that. [20:54.1 – 20:57.3] Maybe I'm taking too much for granted. [20:57.3 – 20:57.9] I don't know. [20:57.9 – 21:06.5] But I, I feel that I was simply used as God's agent. [21:06.5 – 21:17.5] I feel that I'm no different from any of you fellas or girls, except that I was a little more fortunate, that [21:17.5 – 21:23.3] I got this message 15 and a half years ago, and some of you had to wait till a little later. [21:23.3 – 21:33.3] In fact, I got a little peeved at, uh, our Heavenly Father because He was a little slow on the [21:33.3 – 21:39.0] trigger because I thought I would have been ready to receive it quite a while before He got around to sending it. [21:39.0 – 21:49.1] And, uh, that used to irritate me no end, but, uh, after all, maybe He knows better than I. [21:49.1 – 21:59.6] But I felt sure that I would have been glad to have anything presented that would have been workable and produced the sobriety [21:59.6 – 22:02.8] which I thought, at least, that I wanted so badly. [22:02.8 – 22:07.5] I used to even doubt that at times. [22:07.5 – 22:17.6] I, I would go to my good friend, Henry, and say, "Henry, uh, do you think that I want to stop drinking liquor?" [22:17.6 – 22:27.8] Henry, being very charitable soul, said, "Yes, Bob, I'm sure you want to stop." And, uh, [22:27.8 – 22:38.2] I would say, "Well, I can't conceive of any living human who want, want, really wanted to do something as badly [22:38.2 – 22:48.3] as I think I want to do it, who could be so total a failure." That, "Emmy, I think I'm just one of, uh, one of these wantle [22:48.3 – 22:58.6] wantle guys." She said, "No, Bob, I think you wantle who just happens to have found, uh, just the way to work it." But anyway, [22:58.6 – 23:00.4] that was the way I felt about it. [23:00.4 – 23:10.5] And the fact that my m- uh, sobriety has been maintained continuously for fifteen and a half years, it doesn't, uh, [23:10.5 – 23:19.0] allow me to think that I'm necessarily any farther away from my next drink than any of you people here. [23:19.0 – 23:26.7] I'm still very human, and I still think that the devil has got some tasty popcorn. [23:26.7 – 23:34.1] And if it didn't produce disastrous results, I might do it. [23:34.1 – 23:35.7] I don't know. [23:35.7 – 23:37.6] I, I really love God. [23:37.6 – 23:45.0] But I have no reason to think that the– it would taste any differently. [23:45.0 – 23:51.5] I have no legitimate reason to believe that the results would be any different. [23:51.5 – 23:53.3] They were always the same. [23:53.3 – 23:59.1] They were always the same in that I always wound up back at the zero eight ball somewhere. [23:59.1 – 24:09.1] And I have no precedent or anything to, uh, make it feel legitimate for me to believe that the results today [24:09.1 – 24:16.4] would be any different than they were fourteen and twenty and twenty-five and thirty years ago when I did the same thing. [24:16.4 – 24:25.0] I just don't want to pay that bill 'cause that's a big bill. [24:25.0 – 24:35.0] It always was, and I think it would be even larger today because with what has gone [24:35.0 – 24:45.2] on in the last fifteen years, um, naturally being a bit out of practice, I don't believe I'd really [24:45.2 – 24:46.4] last very long. [24:46.4 – 24:56.9] And I'm having an awful nice time, and I just don't want to bump myself off even though the, uh, with the pleasures of the alcohol [24:56.9 – 24:57.2] route. [24:57.2 – 25:07.3] So I'm not gonna do it, and I'm never gonna do it as long as I do the [25:07.3 – 25:10.3] things that I'm supposed to do. [25:10.3 – 25:12.3] And I know what those things are. [25:12.3 – 25:20.8] So i-if I should ever get tight, I certainly never would have anyone to blame for it. [25:20.8 – 25:31.2] It would be done perhaps not with malice aforethought, but it certainly would, uh, be done with as a result, at least, of extreme [25:31.2 – 25:33.9] carelessness and indifference. [25:33.9 – 25:38.9] I said I was quite human. [25:38.9 – 25:45.8] And I get to thinking every once in a while, "Well, here's this Smith guy. [25:45.8 – 25:47.4] He's a fairly smart individual. [25:47.4 – 25:57.6] He's got this liquor situation right by the tail, proved it, demonstrated it, hadn't had a drink for thirteen years. [25:57.6 – 26:08.1] Probably could knock off a couple, and no one would be the wiser." No, I tell you, I'm not trying to be funny at all because those thoughts actually [26:08.1 – 26:09.1] enter my mind. [26:09.1 – 26:13.5] And I know just the minute they do exactly what has happened. [26:13.5 – 26:23.6] See, there in Akron, we have the extreme good fortune, as I guess many of you people know, of having a very [26:23.6 – 26:26.1] nice hospital set up at St. [26:26.1 – 26:26.9] Thomas Hospital. [26:26.9 – 26:37.1] With a ward that theoretically accommodates seven, but since this rotation sees that it stretches a little bit, and we usually– she [26:37.1 – 26:40.8] usually has about two or three more parked around somewhere. [26:40.8 – 26:50.8] And I almost invariably, I find that I haven't been paying quite so much attention to the boys in the [26:50.8 – 26:52.1] ward as I should. [26:52.1 – 27:02.5] Just as sure as that idea that I could probably, probably polish off a couple enters my mind, I think, "Uh-uh, [27:02.5 – 27:04.0] how about the boys in the ward? [27:04.0 – 27:08.5] You've been giving them the semi brush off here for a few days. [27:08.5 – 27:18.5] You better get back on the job, big boy, before you get into trouble." And I trot right back and, uh, uh, am much more attentive [27:18.5 – 27:23.1] than I had been in the days preceding the time that I got this funny idea. [27:23.1 – 27:33.1] But I get it, and I get it every once in a while, and I'll probably continue to get it as long or whenever I [27:33.1 – 27:35.5] get callous about that one thing. [27:35.5 – 27:45.0] You know, back in, uh, those early days about which I spoke, before we had the twelve steps, we did have some other things. [27:45.0 – 27:50.9] Besides the actual, uh, biblical, uh, burden. [27:50.9 – 27:56.0] I was getting to thinking more of Smith than I was the ward. [27:56.0 – 27:57.9] Otherwise, I wouldn't have neglected them. [27:57.9 – 28:08.0] And I wasn't being especially loving when these fellows would come there indicating their desire for [28:08.0 – 28:15.0] help, and I was just a little too busy to give them any, or at least very much of my time. [28:15.0 – 28:19.3] Don't want to be bothered with the burden. [28:19.3 – 28:21.3] Ten cents to get rid of him? [28:21.3 – 28:22.3] Why, that's easy. [28:22.3 – 28:24.6] You could even stand two bits. [28:24.6 – 28:33.7] But not because you love the fellow, just to be relieved of, uh, the nuisance of his, uh, hanging on your coat sleeve or what have you. [28:33.7 – 28:39.8] No unselfishness, no, uh, love indicated in the transaction at all. [28:39.8 – 28:50.4] But I think that the thing that really counts- Is really giving a service [28:50.4 – 29:00.5] of yourself, and that almost invariably, not always, but almost invariably, uh, requires some effort and some time [29:00.5 – 29:01.4] of your own. [29:01.4 – 29:10.6] It, it isn't a matter of putting a little quiet money in the dish. [29:10.6 – 29:14.6] That helps, and possibly that's indicated, too. [29:14.6 – 29:17.5] But that isn't giving much. [29:17.5 – 29:23.4] That is for the average individual in days like this when most people get along at least fairly well. [29:23.4 – 29:30.9] That type of giving I don't believe would ever keep anyone sober or anywhere near it. [29:30.9 – 29:41.7] But giving of his own effort and strength and time is quite a different matter, and I think that's what [29:41.7 – 29:49.7] is meant by and what was meant by what Bill learned in New York that I didn't get in Akron. [29:49.7 – 29:59.8] Matter of those four absolutes we call them, the only yardsticks we had in [29:59.8 – 30:08.1] the early days, I think they still hold good, and I still think that they can be extremely helpful. [30:08.1 – 30:18.6] I have found at times that questions arise, and, uh, I want to do the right thing, but [30:18.6 – 30:20.4] the answers are not obvious. [30:20.4 – 30:24.5] Uh, you don't know what the right thing is. [30:24.5 – 30:35.0] But almost always, if you check it into it carefully by the yardsticks of absolute honesty, purity, [30:35.0 – 30:45.0] unselfishness, and love, and whatever your decision is checks up pretty well with those four, your answer can't be [30:45.0 – 30:46.5] very far out of the way. [30:46.5 – 30:56.5] If, however, you do that, as I have done at times, and still am not too [30:56.5 – 31:06.6] satisfied with the answer, I usually consult some friend whose judgment perhaps I think in this particular case would be very much better than m- [31:06.6 – 31:07.3] than mine. [31:07.3 – 31:17.4] But usually you can do it yourself without bothering your friends about your own personal decisions, uh, in overcoming the first [31:17.4 – 31:17.7] step. [31:17.7 – 31:26.4] Can't quite get honest enough to admit that, uh, John Barleycorn really, uh, has bested us. [31:26.4 – 31:32.6] Matter of absolute purity, uh, is somewhat like it. [31:32.6 – 31:36.6] It's purity of ideas and purity of motives and what have you. [31:36.6 – 31:46.8] Unselfishness includes those things that I've just been talking about, not the dime or the two bits or the bump, but actually giving [31:46.8 – 31:47.6] of yourself. [31:47.6 – 31:57.6] And as you well know, the absolute love is probably a big word incorporating all three with a little bit more [31:57.6 – 31:58.3] along with it. [31:58.3 – 32:05.3] I think that that is a very difficult thing to have, absolute love. [32:05.3 – 32:08.1] I, I don't think any of us will ever get it. [32:08.1 – 32:12.3] But that doesn't mean that we can't try to get it. [32:12.3 – 32:20.0] It was extremely difficult for me, and I feel that I never have been very successful at it. [32:20.0 – 32:24.5] It's very difficult for me to love my fellow man. [32:24.5 – 32:28.9] I didn't dislike him, but I didn't love him. [32:28.9 – 32:37.1] Uh, unless there was some special reason, he was just, uh, uh, I was just indifferent toward him. [32:37.1 – 32:38.9] I wouldn't do him any harm. [32:38.9 – 32:45.7] I, I would be willing to give him a little lift if, uh, it didn't require too much effort. [32:45.7 – 32:48.3] I never would injure him at all. [32:48.3 – 32:53.5] But to love him, I just couldn't do it for a long time. [32:53.5 – 33:03.5] And I think that I overcame it to some extent when I was forced to it, because I [33:03.5 – 33:08.9] was either gonna love this bird enough to attempt to be helpful to him or [33:09.2 – 33:11.1] I was probably just selfish. [33:11.1 – 33:19.3] You could say, "Well, uh, Largy, you were just, uh, that's just a manifestation of selfishness," which is quite correct. [33:19.3 – 33:23.7] I was selfish to the extent of not wanting stress hurts. [33:23.7 – 33:32.4] So to keep from getting stress hurts, I, I would attempt to go through the motions of being helpful to this other fellow. [33:32.4 – 33:39.2] You can debate it, uh, any way you want to, but, uh, the fact still remains. [33:39.2 – 33:44.8] For the average individual, absolute love is a thing that he will never acquire. [33:44.8 – 33:48.7] I suspect there are a few people who do. [33:48.7 – 33:54.1] I think maybe I know some that come pretty close to it. [33:54.1 – 34:01.3] But I think I could count them on the fingers of one hand. [34:01.3 – 34:08.8] I don't say that, uh, in a disparaging manner, 'cause I have some wonderful friends. [34:08.8 – 34:16.8] But I'm talking about it, uh, in this, this final aspect and, uh, particularly as it, uh, applies to AA. [34:16.8 – 34:28.3] I don't think we do anything well, uh, very much in this world unless we practice it, [34:28.3 – 34:32.3] and I don't believe we do AA work too well unless we practice it. [34:32.3 – 34:44.4] These fellows that win, break world's records in athletic events, or people who, who, [34:44.4 – 34:50.4] uh, win, uh, titles in the boxing arena are people who practice it. [34:50.4 – 34:52.4] They've been practicing it for years. [34:52.4 – 35:02.6] Even though they may, uh, necessarily be endowed with a lot of physical ability and, uh, uh, skill, they still have [35:02.6 – 35:06.4] to practice, and we have to practice to do a good job in AA. [35:06.4 – 35:11.8] And there are a number of things that we should practice. [35:11.8 – 35:18.0] We should practice, as I say, acquiring the spirit of service. [35:18.0 – 35:28.2] We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn't always easily done, [35:28.2 – 35:33.8] especially for the person who's always been very materialistically minded. [35:33.8 – 35:41.1] And those are the standards this society today beyond all doubt and for adventure. [35:41.1 – 35:51.1] You have a million bucks, and your neighbor has nine hundred grand, you're a much better man than your neighbor to the extent [35:51.1 – 35:57.1] of $100,000, and, uh, so forth and so on, and it's nonsense. [35:57.1 – 36:07.4] But, uh, I think that it can be acquired. [36:07.4 – 36:09.4] It can be acquired slowly. [36:09.4 – 36:13.2] I don't belie– I think that is something that has to be cultivated also. [36:13.2 – 36:14.8] That was not easy for me. [36:14.8 – 36:17.3] I just assume it's difficult for others. [36:17.3 – 36:27.8] Another thing that is diffi- difficult for me, and I probably don't do too well yet, and that is the matter of tolerance. [36:27.8 – 36:35.1] We're all, uh, inclined to have closed minds. [36:35.1 – 36:37.8] They're pretty tightly closed. [36:37.8 – 36:45.4] And that's one reason that some people find, uh, our spiritual teachings difficult. [36:45.4 – 36:51.3] They, they don't want to find out too much about it for various personal reasons. [36:51.3 – 36:58.4] Uh, one reason is the fear of being considered effeminate, just for illustration. [36:58.4 – 37:08.7] But anyway, the matter of, uh, tolerance toward the other individual's ideas, uh, it's quite important [37:08.7 – 37:10.8] that we do acquire it. [37:10.8 – 37:19.7] I think I've acquired it mu– I have much more of it than I did have, although not enough to hurt me any yet. [37:19.7 – 37:29.7] 'Cause if somebody crossed me, why, I would have to make at least a rather caustic [37:29.7 – 37:35.7] remark about it, which I've done many times, much to my regret. [37:35.7 – 37:44.2] And later on, I find that the man knew much more about it than I, and I'd been infinitely better off if I just kept my big mouth shut. [37:44.2 – 37:53.6] Another thing with which, uh, most of us are not overly blessed, and that is the feeling of humility. [37:53.6 – 38:02.3] I don't mean the humility in the sense of Dickens' Uriah Heep at all. [38:02.3 – 38:05.1] I don't mean the doormat variety. [38:05.1 – 38:14.4] I don't think we're necessarily called on to be shoved around and put down by anyone, and we have a right to stand up for our rights. [38:14.4 – 38:22.7] I'm talking about the, the attitude of each and every one of us toward our Heavenly Father. [38:22.7 – 38:27.4] Christ said, "Of myself, I am nothing. [38:27.4 – 38:34.2] My strength cometh from my Father in heaven." And if He had to say that, how about you and me? [38:34.2 – 38:36.6] But did you say it? [38:36.6 – 38:38.3] Did I say it? [38:38.3 – 38:39.3] No. [38:39.3 – 38:42.6] That's exactly what we didn't say. [38:42.6 – 38:45.8] We were inclined to say, "Well, look at old boy. [38:45.8 – 38:56.0] Pretty good, huh?" That type of attitude, but there was no humility, no, uh, uh, sense of having received anything through [38:56.0 – 38:57.4] the grace of our Heavenly Father. [38:57.4 – 39:08.4] So if I accomplish something, either in, uh, AA activity or, [39:08.4 – 39:12.1] uh, socially are in my profession. [39:12.1 – 39:16.7] I don't believe I have any right to get cocky about it. [39:16.7 – 39:19.3] It's only through God's grace that I did it. [39:19.3 – 39:29.4] I can feel very thankful that I was privileged to do it, to have, uh, the recognition which, uh, I may have [39:29.4 – 39:31.2] received for some activities. [39:31.2 – 39:35.6] But basically, it was only through His kindness. [39:35.6 – 39:45.7] And, uh, if my strength does come from Him and these things come as a result of [39:45.7 – 39:48.8] His kindness, who am I to get cocky about it? [39:48.8 – 39:55.0] I should have a very, very humble attitude toward the source of my strength. [39:55.0 – 40:04.8] And I should also never cease to be grateful for whatever feelings come my way, uh, uh, blessings come my way. [40:04.8 – 40:10.3] And I have been blessed, and I've been blessed in very large measure. [40:10.3 – 40:20.4] You know, uh, it doesn't make much difference, uh, whether a person is drinking or whether they're sober [40:20.4 – 40:25.9] as far as their, their ultimate aim is concerned. [40:25.9 – 40:33.1] Whether they're drinking liquor or whether they're not, they're still after the same thing, and that's happiness and peace of mind. [40:33.1 – 40:39.6] I harp about that a great deal because that's what we're all after, and we're all after all the time. [40:39.6 – 40:41.2] We want those two things. [40:41.2 – 40:44.1] We want happiness, and we want peace of mind. [40:44.1 – 40:54.2] The trouble with us fellows was that we thought we could demand that the world give us happiness in just the particular way in which we wanted to get it, which happened to be by the alcohol [40:54.2 – 40:54.5] route. [40:54.5 – 40:57.9] And we weren't overly successful. [40:57.9 – 41:07.9] But when we take time to find out and familiarize ourselves with and [41:07.9 – 41:18.0] put into practice some of the spiritual laws which it is necessary to follow to acquire those things, then we find [41:18.0 – 41:18.9] that we get them. [41:18.9 – 41:27.8] And I think I've had them in, uh, very large measure, those two things, happiness and peace of mind. [41:27.8 – 41:37.9] And I feel most extremely fortunate, and I feel very grateful and thankful that our Heavenly Father has seen fit that [41:37.9 – 41:38.9] I enjoy them. [41:38.9 – 41:41.7] They're there. [41:41.7 – 41:50.8] Anybody can get them who, uh, wishes to, but there do seem to be some rules of the game that we have to follow. [41:50.8 – 42:00.8] But they're here and open and free to everyone who wishes to take advantage [42:00.8 – 42:01.2] of them. [42:01.2 – 42:11.3] And by taking advantage of them means a familiarization, a familiarization with them and putting them in practice, incorporating them in our own thinking [42:11.3 – 42:17.8] and actions, and we're bound, under them, to get certain results if we do. [42:17.8 – 42:27.9] As I said, it is a very great source of pleasure and gratitude [42:27.9 – 42:35.9] to me to feel that maybe I sticked in my two bits worth toward starting it. [42:35.9 – 42:41.7] But as I said also, I feel that I was simply used as God's agent. [42:41.7 – 42:51.7] A question might arise, well, we know what AA's done in the last 15 years, but how about it from here [42:51.7 – 42:51.9] on? [42:51.9 – 42:53.9] Where do we go from here? [42:53.9 – 42:59.7] Our membership, I think, is conservatively estimated at present around seventy thousand. [42:59.7 – 43:06.9] Uh, will it be in the increase from here on? [43:06.9 – 43:12.3] Well, that'll depend on every member of AA. [43:12.3 – 43:18.6] It is possible for us to do so or not, as we elect. [43:18.6 – 43:28.7] If we shy of what the politicals call resounding alarms, [43:28.7 – 43:38.8] if we avoid getting messed up with controversial issues such [43:38.8 – 43:44.9] as religious and political issues, wet and dry problems, and so forth. [43:44.9 – 43:57.2] No [43:57.2 – 44:02.7] unity through our central office. [44:02.7 – 44:08.8] If we remember the simplicity of our program. [44:08.8 – 44:19.4] If we continue to remember that our job is to get sober and to [44:19.4 – 44:26.5] stay sober and to help our less fortunate brother in doing the same thing. [44:26.5 – 44:34.1] I doubt very much if we shall have any trouble, and we shall continue to grow and thrive and prosper. [44:34.1 – 44:38.1] And I hope we all bear those little things in mind. [44:38.1 – 44:44.7] Maybe there should be some additions to the list, but that roughly covers it, uh, fairly well. [44:44.7 – 44:55.1] And I hope none of us will ever forget what I just said about helping [44:55.1 – 45:04.2] our less fortunate brother. [45:04.2 – 45:13.5] We'll now give you a little of the, uh, first international conference at, uh, Cleveland, Ohio 1950. [45:13.5 – 45:16.4] This was July the 28th to 30th, 1950. [45:16.4 – 45:20.6] And, uh, this is where Dr. [45:20.6 – 45:23.1] Bob gave his last talk. [45:23.1 – 45:28.4] And I will introduce one of our co-founders, Dr. [45:28.4 – 45:29.2] Bob. [45:29.2 – 45:55.2] My [45:55.2 – 46:05.3] good friends in AA and of AA, I feel I would be very remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to welcome you here to Cleveland, not [46:05.3 – 46:08.8] only to this meeting, but those that have already transpired. [46:08.8 – 46:18.8] I hope very much that they have the presence of so many people and the words that you have heard will [46:18.8 – 46:29.1] prove an inspiration to you, not only to you, but, and may you be able to impart that inspiration [46:29.1 – 46:35.2] to the boys and girls back home who are not fortunate enough to be able to come. [46:35.2 – 46:44.0] In other words, we hope that your visit here has been both enjoyable and profitable. [46:44.0 – 46:54.2] I get a big thrill looking over there to see a face like this with a feeling that [46:54.2 – 47:04.4] possibly some small thing that I did a number of years ago played a small part in making this meeting possible. [47:04.4 – 47:11.7] I also get quite a thrill when I think that we all have the same problem. [47:11.7 – 47:15.0] We all did the same things. [47:15.0 – 47:22.6] We all got the same results in proportion to our zeal and enthusiasm and stick-to-itiveness. [47:22.6 – 47:32.7] If you will pardon the injection of a personal note at this time, let me say that I've been in bed for [47:32.7 – 47:34.6] five of the last seven months. [47:34.6 – 47:42.1] My strength hasn't returned as I'd like, so my remarks will of necessity be very brief. [47:42.1 – 47:52.1] But there are two or three things that flash into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little [47:52.1 – 47:52.9] emphasis. [47:52.9 – 47:56.2] One is the simplicity of our program. [47:56.2 – 48:06.5] Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific [48:06.5 – 48:11.7] mind but have very little to do with our actual AA work. [48:11.7 – 48:23.4] Our twelve steps, when simmered down to their essence, they last, resolve [48:23.4 – 48:26.8] themselves into the words love and service. [48:26.8 – 48:33.6] We understand what love is, and we understand what service is. [48:33.6 – 48:36.9] So let's have those two things in mind. [48:36.9 – 48:45.5] Let us also remember to guard that airy member that comes. [48:45.5 – 48:53.6] And if we must use it, let's use it with kindness and consideration and tolerance. [48:53.6 – 48:56.7] And one more thing. [48:56.7 – 49:06.9] None of us would be here today if somebody hadn't taken time to explain things to us, to give [49:06.9 – 49:17.0] us a little pat on the back, to take us to a meeting or two, to have done numerous little kind [49:17.0 – 49:19.6] and thoughtful acts in our behalf. [49:19.6 – 49:30.5] So let us never get the degree of smug complacency so that we're not willing to extend or [49:30.5 – 49:39.5] attempt to that help that has been so beneficial to us to our less fortunate brother. [49:39.5 – 49:41.4] Thank you very much.