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Source: Charley B – Intergroup Speaker Meeting – Date Unknown.mp3 File: charley-b-intergroup-speaker-meeting-date-unknown.mp3 Duration: 01:19:19
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This will be a tape recording of a talk given by Charlie Brockwell of Lakeport, California. This talk was given at the Fresno Intergroup Speaker Meeting on Friday, May 9, 1980. Charlie Brockwell became introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous in September of 1935. At that time, he had 22 months of sobriety. He had been in the Navy for 27 years and was under threat by his commanding officer to stop drinking or he would lose his commission in the U.S. Navy.
He stated that he read an article in September of 1935 in a Brooklyn newspaper which had a picture of Bill stating that Bill had a cure for alcoholics. He states that Bill had given an address in a local delicatessen and that is where he met Bill and discovered the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Bill W. referred Charlie to Dr. Bob in Akron and later Charlie visited Dr. Bob in Akron, Ohio. Charlie Brockwell states that he was AA No. 6, that following Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, there was Bill Dotson, the Akron attorney, and Henry P. of Newark, New Jersey, and Fitz of Maryland, and then Charlie Brockwell.
Charlie has some interesting insights in history on Alcoholics Anonymous. One of these, he states that AA is a way of life, that it is a journey in simplicity which leads to triumph over confusion. He states that serenity and peace of mind equal permanent sobriety. He also gave some interesting insights on the symbol of Alcoholics Anonymous, the triangle within the circle, stating that the triangle is a shield in the center of the circle which is the world, and that the bottom of the triangle stands for recovery, and recovery through the 12 suggested steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
He then states there are 12 steps to unity, and these are the 12 traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. These are necessary in order for the group to be united, and use the illustration of united we stand, and apart we fall. The third side of the triangle is service, and he lists the 12 concepts for world service, thus making a total of 36 steps, and he states that the exercise of these 36 steps is good for you.
Charlie Brockwell was 89 years old at the time of giving this talk in Fresno, California. The total playing time for this tape is 65 minutes. Side A will be approximately 43 minutes, and side B will be approximately 22 minutes. Before I turn this on, what I say tonight, we will go to five different foreign countries, which they made a request of me. Small little groups of two and three, like in China, two Americans and one missionary.
That's what they're going to hear what I'm going to say tonight. That's the purpose of my recording. My name is Charlie Brockwell, and by the grace of God, I'm still sober alcoholic.
[00:05:02]
Good evening, my friends. I'm a neighbor of Brooklyn, New York, just a few blocks from our co-founder, Bill Deverdine. But I migrated to beautiful California in 1955, and I got stuck here, and I love it. So in order to qualify a little bit like a chairperson did, a secretary, whatever he calls himself, it's okay. I'm the last one of the very first six pioneers that started this program in 1935. Order in order is this way. Our founder, which you call co-founder, no, he's a founder, Bill W.
Dr. Bob Second is a co-founder. The third man you read in the book, Bill Dudson, is a very famous and brilliant acting attorney. He's the third man in the book. Then came along Henry P. of Newark, New Jersey, four. Then came along Fifth of Maryland, a clergyman's son. And then I came, sixth member, from C.B., as I was known for the first 20 years in Eastern States, C.B. of Brooklyn Bunch. That's me. That makes six. Now, five of those are gone. May their soul rest in peace.
Maybe perhaps, right now at this moment, they're holding a meeting of their own somewhere, and someday I hope I'll be worth enough to join them. And for those that met me for the first time, I'm only 89 years of age. I have a broken right hip, which I sport a nylon plate. My bone plate was crushed. And this kind of weather hurts like H-E-double-L. I'm the only man living, I believe, that got a toothache in his hip.
And last September, after my 88th birthday, last fall, I had a stroke. I lost the sight of my right eye, but I still, God preserved my left eye, so I can still see the heads in front of me. Yes. But however, I have something to look forward to. The eye specialist in Ukiah, California, treating my eye with this new treatment, laser ray, and reassured me that my eyesight will be restored, maybe in a year time or a little longer.
But I have something to look forward to. I'll be seeing again. So crooked people, look out. I've been blessed in many ways. Many ways. Especially my age. And you know why I live this long. I never dreamed I'd face so many multitude of you beautiful people. As I said in Denver and elsewhere, I'm just a backbone of A.A. But the backbone needs new blood, and you are new blood. As long as you people keep coming in, I'll continue to live.
Right now, at present day, we only have approximately, roughly guessing, through my information I received, over one and a half million sober happy alcoholics throughout the world. My doctor asked me, Charlie says, how long do you want to live after this last stroke that I had? Well, I said, Dr. Joyce, I don't want to fool around, at least until I'm 110. He said, why so long? Well, I said, for two reasons. One reason, I want to see year 2000, what kind of A.A. membership we'll have.
And the second most important reason, I want to meet and see and meet at least ten million sober alcoholics. How's that? Isn't that a good wish?
[00:10:06]
He said, Charlie, I'm afraid he'll grant you that, because I cut you up four times, two heart attacks and two strokes. I begin to believe you're indestructible. So, you can judge it for yourself. A week ago today, I got a little new pin I bought last year, and my driving was short. Five miles, I live outside of Lakeport, California. Five miles to the post office and five miles back. That is daily routine driving.
But I want to find out, you know, in another short year, I'll be 90. And I want to find out how my reflection is going to respond when I drive on a freeway for long distance. So, I tried Charlie out, come driving over here, we'd go today Friday, and here I am. Now, I came here for purpose of conference, H&I conference. As you well know, been held here in Fresno, and I hadn't missed one yet. However, when I was requested to stay over here and give a little talk, historical talk, about AA program and the members.
In a portion, Chapter 5, Dr. Bob and I wrote, If you're willing to go to any length to get what we have, then you are ready for certain steps. I was willing to lay over a week in Fresno so I can be with you tonight. In other words, I'm not giving you only wisdom, a pearl of wisdom, I give to you myself by my presence. Thank you very much and God bless you. Tonight my talk will be somehow different.
I talked here before, but this is, I finally unlocked my memory bank, how it all began. How this AA started. I call it the birth of AA. And I also going to present later on a certificate that I have dated and stated where, when and how the AA was born. I'll take you back to this little book, the God-inspired book of Alcoholic Anonymous that I had a good deal, both hands in it, in writing. None of my stories in here, but my life is in one of the chapters.
Read it and reread it. That was my life. I had a chapter three. Yeah, that's my life. Now, I'll take you back to Bill's story over here. In 1934, when he was in the hospital, and he was a very sick, very sick man. He was so sick that one day apparition performed itself in his hospital room. He'd seen the stars flashing on reality. He'd seen the rainbows, and the rainbows, they only have a few colors, many colors.
And he'd seen the flashes, those stars, some exploded, some poured in a new design. To a point, when the doctor came in, he told the doctor what he saw. He said, am I going crazy? You read the Bill story as he wrote it, but I'm telling you as he told me before he wrote it, before this book was ever written. Doctor told him, no, you're not crazy, but you better hold on to that apparition that you witnessed.
To That Apparition That You Witnessed Is Better Than What You Had, And Bill Did Hang On.
[00:15:06]
When Bill Came Out Of The Hospital, He Brought Out A Fragment Idea With Him. He Should Find Another Drunk Related Story To Him, And See Whether He Could Save Another Human Being For Suffering That He Endured. It Didn't Work Out That Way, But You Know, It's Unusual For Certain Species To Be Pregnant. Female Species, Yes, But Male Species, That's Kind Of Fishy. Well Anyway, When A Female Species Gets Pregnant, They Usually Go Locate A Doctor For Themselves, For Preparation Of A Main Event Of When It Will Arrive.
Well, The Doctor In Question, But Bill Was Lucky. In 1935, In Spring Of 35, He Finally Landed A Little Job, To Replace Another Salesman, And It Took Him To Akron, Ohio, To Close A Deal, The Contract Was Formulated. When He Arrived, He Stayed At The Mayflower Hotel, You Read Portion Of That In Here, But I'm Telling You, As Bill Told Me, Before The Book Was Written, Before He Wrote That Story, Matter Of Fact, The Deal Fell Through, He Failed, And There He Was, Walking Around The Hall, And Lobby, And Just Off The Hall, There Was Another Door, With A Nickel Piano, You Know, Put A Nickel In, Playing In The Bar There, And He Didn't Know, He Was So Disgusted, Whether To Go In There, And Get His Favorite Drink, He Kind Of Drowned His Sorrow, And Then A Second Thought Came Into Him, And Charlie Says, I Realized I Only Had $3.65 In My Pocket, And Returned Ticket To New York, And That Was Eating Money, Not Drinking Money, So He Turned Around, Looked Across The Hall, He Saw A Plaque On The Wall, Which You Read A Little Bit About It, It Says, Akron Church Directory, He Went Over There, Make A Long Story Short, He Called One Clergyman, And That Clergyman Didn't Know Anyone To Refer Him To, So He Gave Him Another Telephone Number, Also A Clergyman, He Called Him, And That Clergyman Didn't Know Anyone Except A Lady, That A Member Of The Church, And He Was Sure That She Might Be Of Some Help, So He Gave This Lady A Telephone Number, And Turned Out To Be Henrietta Sieberling, When Bill Called Her, And Told Her His Problem, Incidentally, That Woman Had Experience, Her Husband, Sieberling, The Original Owner Of Goodyear & Sieberling's Rubber Company, He Passed Away While He Was Drunk, And She Knew, As A Church Goer, That Dr. Bob And His Wife Annie Were Constant Church Attendants, And She Knew Dr. Bob How Much He Drank, And She Tried To Help Him In Her Own Way By Telling Him How Her Husband Passed Away Drunk, And Maybe In Hope That He Would Stop Drinking And Live, But Dr. Bob Didn't Pay No Attention, He Sees A Lot Of Women In The Hospital, So He Passed It By, However, She Invited Bill To Come Over Right Away, In The Meantime, While Bill Was In Trance, She Called Up Annie, Dr. Bob's Wife, And Told Annie That She Got A Man From New York, Stock Broker, Coming Over, And Asked Dr. Bob If He Joined For Dinner, He Got Company, And This Man Would Like To Talk To Dr. Bob About Some Business Or The Other, Some Kind Of A… Anyway, Try To Bring Dr. Bob Over, So, Annie Start Persuading Dr. Bob To Go, And Dr. Bob Says, Well, He Says, I Don't Know These High Finances People, He Says, Maybe He's Out Here Selling Me Some Stock And Bonds Or Something, And You Know I Can't Afford To Buy Anything, He Says, We're Putting Him Broke Now, Well, Finally, Annie Persuaded,
[00:20:00]
They Were Not There For Dinner, And He Went There, He Says, Well, I'll Go There And Talk To Him 15, 20 Minutes, And After Dinner, I Want To Come Right Home, I Don't Want To Linger At All, That Happened, Well, When Dr. Bob Came To Henrietta Siebeling's Home, Henrietta Introduced Dr. Bob And Bill Together, And While They Were Seated In The Living Room, Why, She Suggested That Her And Annie Go To The Kitchen To Prepare The Dinner, And Leave Two Men Alone, And They Did, So, Bill Didn't Start Talking About Alcohol Right Away, But Usually Business, Pro And Con, Everything Went Smoothly, Then The Dinner Was Served, And After Dinner, Why, They Were In The Living Room, Bill And Dr. Bob Seated Comfortably, And Henrietta Siebeling Asked Annie To Go Out In The Kitchen And Help Her With Clearing The Table, And They Did, Meantime, That's When The Subjects Opened Up, When Bill Told His Story To Dr. Bob, And Dr. Bob Finally Loosened Up And Told A Little Bit Of His, Just A Little Bit, Because He Was A Doctor, But He Informed Bill, He Said, Look, If You're Hitting Some Kind Of Medication, I'm Going To Give You An Easier Problem, You're Wrong, Because There Is No Medication, I Am A Doctor, A Surgeon, A Medical Doctor, I Don't Even Know What To Take Myself, How Can I Help You, You Came To The Wrong Person, Result Was This, They Got So Interested In One Another, From 7 O'Clock, They Didn't Go Home Till 1.40 In The Morning, Ain't That Wonderful, That's Where The A.A. Was Born, And As Long As Bill Presents His Pregnant Idea To Dr. Bob, Dr. Bob Felt Like His Duty To Make A Delivery By Saying That, Which He Did, And In Order To Have Bill Recuperate After His Ordeal, He Invited Him To Come To My House And Stay With Me, Dr. Bob, So Dr. Bob Took Bill, And As You Read, Bill Stayed For A Few Months With Dr. Bob, So You See, The A.A. Was Born At Henrietta C. Berlin Hall, I Hope You Understand What I Mean, Yes, That's Where The Birth Occurred Of A.A., Between Two Men And Two Men Only, Therefore, Try To Remember, Bill W. Is Not A Co-Founder, But He Is A Founder, Genuine Founder And The Father Of A.A. Program, Because He Endured The Birth Of His Idea, And Dr. Bob Helped Him Along, They Went Along Fine For A While, Then Dr. Bob Had To Go To Atlanta For Dr.'s Convention, That Was In June, 35, When He Arrived At Convention, Now This Story, Dr. Bob Told Me Before This Was Written In Here, When He Got To Convention, He Registered In A Hotel, And While In The Hotel, He Thought, Well, Nobody Will Know I Took A Drink, So He Went By The Bar, He Picked Up The Quarter Bourbon Of His Favorite Green River, And Took It To His Room, The Result Was This, He Never Went To Convention, But He Got On The Train, And It Was The Wrong Train, And He Wound Up At His Friend Out Of Atlanta, In His Friend's Home That He Happened To Know, That Quart Bottle Was, Well, Maybe A Few Fingers Left, After He Got Off The Train, He Bought Another Quart, Where He Went To Visit His Friend, That Friend That Called A Long Distance, Took A Long Distance Call To Annie, And Told Where Dr. Bob Was, And Asked Him To Come Over And Get Him, So, Make A Long Story Short, Bill Devlin And Annie Got On The Train, Went To That Little Town In Georgia, And Drove Dr. Bob Home, And A Couple Days Later, Dr. Bob Was Very, Very Sick All That Time, They Realized, And The Hospital Called Him, They Had Important Surgery To Perform, Bill Devlin Wore A Long Old Fashioned Overcoat, It Had Two Pockets Outside, Two Big Pockets Inside, The Pockets Designed In Those Days To Hold A Quarter Beer,
[00:25:15]
We Had Beer By Quart In Those Days, Not Cans, But Quart Bottles, So, Bill, He Got A Hold Of Quart Bottles And Put Them In His Inside Coat, Between The Home Of Dr. Bob And The Hospital, He Made, He Gave That To Bill, To Bob, Bill, And Told Him To Drink Them, So, The Stuff Controlled His Shake, After All, He Couldn't Perform Much Surgery, When Your Hands Go Like That, You Know, Strange It Seemed, He Did Cry, Dr. Bob, And Dr. Bob, After A Few Hours, Came Out Of The Hospital, Ready To Go Home, And His Surgery Was Successful, Now, Is That A Miracle, Or A Miracle, Huh?
I Ask Him, Even Then, That's The First Miracle, When They Came Home, That's The Last Drink That Dr. Bob Had, That Bottle Of Stale Beer, Bill Believed, He Used To Sober Up, And Do The Hangovers, By Taking A Quart Of Beer, Open It In The Kitchen Table, And Let It Stay Overnight, Till It Gets Stale, Then, He Claimed It Stopped His Shake, I Never Tried It, I Wouldn't Swear To It, So, That's How It Was, Now, Many People Want To Know, How I Got Into It, When Bill Returned From Macklin, Ohio, From Dr. Bob's Home, In The First Portion Of September, 1935, I Picked Up, About Two Days Later, I Picked Up The Brooklyn Newspaper, And Inside The Paper, I Saw A Write-Up, And A Picture Of Bill, That The Wall Street Broker, And A Famous Surgeon Of Akron, Ohio, Find A Cure For Excessive Drinking Of Alcohol, Cure Minded, By That Time, I Was Sober Myself, For 22 Months, I Was Sobered Up By A Threat Of My CO, Commanding Officer, I Was In A Service In The Navy, At That Time, When I Read That Article, But Bill Was Smart Enough, Not To Give His Telephone Number And Address, But A Corner Delicatessen Store, And I Was So Curious, Because I Was Sober And Dry, But Most Miserable Human Being, I Never Want To Go Through That Kind Of Life Again, I Was Crabby, I Couldn't Get Along With Nobody, To A Point Where The Gold Braid, Used To Call Me On Their Red Carpet, And Warn Me, He's Off On My Men, I Had A Right That Time, You See, At That Particular Time, When It Happened To Me, I Already Served 27 Years, Continued Service, And Three More Years To Go, Where I'll Be Eligible For Consideration For Pension, I Couldn't Risk Drinking Anymore, So I Gave Up My Gin And Rum, I Was A Gin Hound And A Lover Of Rum, So, I Sobered Up On A Threat, Because The Threat Was This, As My Commanding Officer Pointed His Finger At Me At His Office, Mr. Brockwell, As Of This Moment, Very This Moment, Unless You Curtail Your Complete Drinking, Excessive Drinking, I'll Be Compelled To Give You A Dishonorable Discharge As Undesirable, That Would Make Me A Man Without A Country, When One Is Undesirable In The Navy, That's Kaput, That's All It Is, So I Had To Sober Up, Indeed I Did, But I Was Miserable, I'll Tell You That, I Was Miserable, And Most Unfriendly To Everybody And Everything, But When I Related That To Bill, He Couldn't Believe Me, When He Related His Story, I Believed Him, Because He Came Out With A Wonderful Idea, Well, he came up with a wonderful idea, find another drunk, tell him your story, and see what the response will be.
[00:30:05]
If the drunk didn't care to sober up, at least, Bill says, it kept him sober, and that's worthwhile. But the poor fellow didn't have no success as he hoped he would. So, that's how I met our founder, Bill Dudley, in delicatessen. And he strongly suggested I meet Dr. Bob, and show you how my alcoholic mind worked at that particular time. I only went to this famous doctor, as Bill described him, to see if I can finagle some kind of medication, make my life a little more easier.
See? That's alcoholic mind. In spite of my so long sobriety, twenty-two months, I still had that reservation, not to drink again, but to feel better, get myself out of the misery that I suffered. I went to meet Dr. Bob, and I told my story to Dr. Bob. And you know what? He surprised me. He says, Charlie, I believe you. Ain't that ironic? Bill wouldn't. Or, of course, he says, I tried it, I tried it, I couldn't do it for myself.
Bill tried it, he couldn't do it. Bill Dudson, our lawyer, attorney, tried it, he couldn't do it. But you must have been blessed somehow, somewhere along the line of your life, that you accomplished something impossible. But now, what you need now, is to know exactly what's wrong with you. Don't think I'm going to give you any medication. Most likely, he guessed what I came after him. So he put the stopper right there.
But he says, Charlie, you and I, we have a disease, incurable disease, just as bad as cancer. The cancer will kill, and this disease will kill, if we take another drink. But we can survive, as long as we won't take that first drink. Because first drink is too many, and a hundred after that is not enough. So when he told me what I carried, disease, incurable, then I knew what was wrong with me. I never heard before a word, alcoholism, until he explained to me.
So he invited me to join their foundation movement. That's what it was known first, alcoholic foundation movement. And this Alcoholic Anonymous didn't exist until 1938, after he was writing the book. So I came, and Dr. Bob invited me to join him, which I did. So September, middle of September, or close to my… Incidentally, my birthday is 25th of September, and I think this happened on the 20th of September.
If my memory don't play tricks on me, I hope not. So ever since then, I've been observing double birthday. My negative birthday, and my A8 membership birth in sobriety, in September 25th. That's what I've been doing. After I returned from Dr. Bob, I seen Bill again. Well, anyway, in 19… Now, I want to remind you something. In a book, come of age, you look on an index portion, pages, and you'll find 1934, 35, and 37, and so on.
We never put 1936, because that would be that distraught. You won't find 1936 here mentioned nowhere, except Charlie here. I live through it, and I see them suffer. That's why it's not been recorded. But I recorded in my book, which I've been working now for 9 or 10 years almost. I'm writing a book about this big book, why it was called big book, where it originated, when, where, and by whom. That's my book.
So, 1936 is printed there. And, however, in 1938, oh yes, in regards to raising the money for the book,
[00:35:00]
someone asked me if the John D. Rockefeller's donation of that $5,000 was placed in it for the book purpose. No, that was for the purpose of keeping Dr. Bob, and I found him, Bill Dudley, and his family's living expenses, and central office, information office that's known in those days, so they can answer urgent letters. That's what that money is used for. But the money for this book, Henry P., who was a partner of Bill Dudley, went to New York and bought a batch of blank certificates, and they wrote it down with pen and ink, World Publishing Company.
And Henry, Fitz, Bill, they all went out and started selling those certificates, especially Henry. I was the first one born, because out of six of us, I was the only one gainfully employed. Remember, in the 30s, after the 29 crash, in the 30s we had the biggest depression to my knowledge. When Brooklyn alone, I have personally observed lines for blocks to no end in front of Salvation Army, where they open a soup kitchen.
And bakeries open up the bread lines. When the bakery trucks come in without what they did distribute among the grocery stores and markets, what they brought back, they put down on a big long table outside, distributed bread to those that couldn't buy it. That's a depression, and I lived through that. Of course, it didn't bother me. I was employed continually. So, in 1938, oh yes, Henry and I were the first ones that bought four shares, 25 dollars a share, because I could afford it.
Incidentally, someday in the near future, I'll bring them up. I saved one share. I turned the rest of them over as a donation, where they came from. But I saved one as a memento. And I'm saving that for archives of New York's General Service Office. I showed different places in Northern California, but someday I'll bring it over here, let you see it. So, that's where we got the money, raised enough money to pay down payment to have this wonderful book printed.
In 1938, there were 49 of us accumulated. We met at Dr. Bob's home for the purpose of selecting the title for this book. There was only two outstanding titles at that time. The most wanted title was The Way Out. But the most unusual title, not even registered in the Library of Congress, was Alcoholic Anonymous. That's why we chose that. And that's why it's titled as is, Alcoholic Anonymous Program.
Excuse me. So, Dr. Bob was a chair in the meeting, and after we voted on a proper title, Alcoholic Anonymous, somebody raised their hand up and Dr. Bob, yes, what is it? He says, how much money have we got to pay the balance on this printing of this book? And Henry's the one that says, well, I haven't collected the money. He says, well, roughly $5,700. And this same person says, who's going to handle that money?
And Henry says, well, Bill does, of course. I don't trust Bill. Let's appoint a finance committee right now. So you see your squabbles about finances in your group, you came by it honestly. You inherited it from us. So Dr. Bob stood up and said, wait a minute, folks. We're not here for that purpose of row or pro and con. We're here to select a title for this book. Now, we did that. And if you people feel that way about Bill,
[00:40:02]
let's turn this money out to board of directors, and that way, Bill will be off your nasty hook. And that's what we did. We turned that money out to board of directors. And we made it. Now, that's a part of that history. I hope you remember now. I hope you realize, matter of fact, not remember, realize how fortunate you people are. There's so many of you. Look at you. There was only 49 of us at that particular time.
Now, some of these wonder, how about that $100? My friend, it took us four long, tedious years to accumulate 100 sober alcoholics in the four different separate states. How in the world can we get all together like you are tonight? Don't you think you're fortunate you've got so many of you? There's always somebody fall down. There's three or four rushing to pick you up. And we had no detox centers.
We had no drying out places. We had no halfway houses. They wouldn't even hold us in jail except overnight. Then they'd take us out. And when we'd try to go to a hostel, stagger up the front step, they'd meet us out there. They wouldn't even let us come in the doorway. And they'd say, look, you can't do things for a drunkard. The best thing we advise you to do, commit yourself to an insane asylum. That's where you're supposed to belong.
That's how locked was it, don't they? And you people think you've got a hard time of staying sober, huh? I met all of you, and thank God I lived long enough to meet you. So you see, you've been blessed in many ways on this program. So stay with it and adopt yourself to the AA way of life. And I'll tell you what AA way of life is. AA way of life, as I say it, successful living is a journey to simplicity.
And simplicity leads to triumph over confusion. You couldn't find a more confused person than alcoholics. Especially when you first come on AA. Newcomers, even old timers, and those in between. I cover all of you. I'm not stingy. So you see, and after you triumph over your confusion, well, you know what you get? Serenity. Peace of mind. And those two things lead to permanent sobriety. Isn't that wonderful?
Think about it. You can't beat permanent sobriety. I achieved it, but not by myself. I don't say that in the sense of bragging. I say that in the spirit of my faith. In the higher power, in AA, in myself. Remember, don't forget yourself. Have faith in yourself. That's important. And above all, try and try. Be extra nice to yourself. There's plenty of outside people who do the ornery things for you.
They'll do the condemnation. As I write in these books when I sign my name, many times, forgive yourself, because God already did. That's why nobody's puking here tonight. It's your turn to forgive yourself, so don't wait any longer. Stop self-condemnation. Give the credit where credit rightfully belongs. To yourself. It's your life you hold in your hand. You're holding your hand. So, AA shows, AA program shows you how to do things. No matter
[00:45:05]
what kind of problem you may have, the answers all in this book. We have that problem. Worse than what you have, perhaps, or just as bad. And we put the answers we found in this book. All it requires for one to do is to find it. It's in there. It's in there, I guarantee you. And if you're puzzled about it, you come see Charlie. I'll show you just exactly where it is. It's going to cost you, though. It's going to cost you, like Dr. Bob used to say.
You see, we had no baskets in our days, and we had a tin plate, tin pie plate, as we packed around. And Dr. Bob used to say, well, we're going to pass the tin plate around, and please use the quiet money. Now, how much time have I got? How much time have I got? Okay. I'll tell you. I'm going to give you people coffee break for a few minutes. Not over five, because the talk I'm going to give you, most of you don't know what it represents. I'd like to have someone bring that picture of Three Legacies over there. I'm going to talk of Three Legacies.
That, I want you to learn. It's not in any book yet. Now, get your coffee, or go shake yourself. My friend, whether you want me for friend or not, I don't care, but I got you for friend. A lot of people is not aware what this represents. This is official Alcoholic Anonymous emblem, like American Bald Eagle represents America. This is our emblem. The outside circle represents the world. The triangle in the center is a shield, a guard.
Two AA's, Alcoholic Anonymous. The shield we borrowed from Gresham, from Greece, is a protective shield. No ill influence will contaminate those two A's. That's why we place the shield, to protect the Alcoholic Anonymous inside the world. Now, right in the bottom, where we start, when we first come into AA program, we start at the bottom, right? Recovery. That word recovery embodies twelve suggested steps to recovery.
That's what that means, right there. Twelve suggested steps. Then we go work ourselves up a little bit, and there's a unity, a group unity, that teaches us how to get along with one another, how to be united. George Washington said more than once, united we stand, parted we fall. This is where unity comes in, a group unity. Then as we go around a little higher, we came, world service. What kind of service?
There's twelve concepts of world service. I put them all in steps for you, and give an idea how many steps you will ascend
[00:50:05]
to successful living, a way of life. Twelve steps, suggested steps of recovery. Twelve steps, twelve traditions, I put them in steps too. That's twenty-four. Twelve concepts of world service, that's thirty-six. When you climb the thirty-six steps, they're not steep, they're sort of just like an incline. You can make it, I made it, and look how long I lived. Exercise good for you, those steps. All right.
What does the world service mean? That means from emptying ashtrays, wherever you may go and join the group, you become a secretary of the group, GSR, HNI, PNI, public information. That's world service, my friend. Then you become DCM, district committee member. From then you become a delegate, where you represent your group or many groups in your area, where each and every year in April they meet in general service office in New York and form the new policies for us to carry and enjoy.
It is enjoyable situation by being sober. Some people claim they enjoyed life while they were drunk, but then maybe they did temporarily. But no comparison with sober life. Most of you ought to know by now. You don't have no hiccups or anything like that. So this is known as three legacies that our founder and co-founders left for us to guide us and to live by. Not to practice. Twelve steps. Try to live each and every step and notice the difference in your progress, in your attitude, especially in your feeling.
Unite yourself with your group, wherever it may be or how many it may be. Be one of those. Be in unity. And as far as service is concerned. Now, myself, I perform a service that I recommend to many of you. I recommend to many of you. I'll put it over here. That's your emblem of Alcoholic Anonymous Program. Now, besides me talking to you people, I'm not a professional speaker, no. But I have a big array of early history.
And that's why I relate it to you tonight. For the first time, I opened up my memory bank and brought out the records, what transpired from the very beginning. The birth of AA and our emblem of Alcoholic Anonymous Program and our fellowship. That's what that represents. Our entire fellowship throughout the world. Because we're on the inside of the world, you know, the circle? We're inside the world.
And we're protected with that triangle shield from evil influence or any influence that's not desirable for a sober alcoholic, especially temptation. There's some time we can't avoid. We can, providing we read the guide in this big book. We can avoid temptation or desire or urge. That's a funny word, urge, to drink. So, the Three Legacies is our most important guide. It's an all-approved, conference-approved literature in every pamphlet.
How fortunate, lucky you people are.
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All the pamphlets for free. When I come to meetings, the first thing I do observe, how many pamphlets laid out or on display rack or on a table or wherever it may be. Then I also observe at the end of the meeting, very few have been missing. People don't pick up pamphlets anymore. Why? There's the most important information in those pamphlets. I'm not a promoter. I'm not trying to promote to take all the pamphlets so the groups can buy more.
No. But in a sense of humility. I know what's best for Charlie. I know how Charlie feels and succeeded. And I want the same thing for you. I'm not only sharing you my information history. I'm sharing myself by being in person tonight with you. What more can you ask? Thank you. You may get tired of Charlie someday, but that'll be around year 2000. So stick around. I intend to with my creative will. As he tells me, Charlie, I'm going to keep you on this earth because the program you have started of Alcoholics Anonymous is far from being completed.
Never will be completed. But he said, you do your best while you're on earth. And I am. That's why I'm here tonight. I had many misfortunes, but here I am. You see, he's the best healer I know. I don't belong to any religion. I don't go to church. But that's no condemnation against my belief in faith. I have complete faith in my creator. You know, I related today at the meeting, this afternoon meeting, our first three steps, especially for the benefit of beginners or short timers.
I'd like to relate that again, even for old timers and those in between, as a reminder. When we accept those twelve steps of recovery, we start with step number one. Now, step number one comes in two parts. We admitted we're powerful alcohol, part one. That our lives became unmanageable, part two. Now, a lot of them accept the first part. They will not accept the second part. Let me demonstrate to you something.
You take a dollar bill. You tear it in half. Go to market. See if they'll take it and see if you can buy anything. You can't buy nothing. They want an entire bill. So that means, by taking a half of the step one, don't expect miracles. You've got to take it entirely the way it's written, to get benefit from it. When you do that, with step number one, we admitted we're powerful alcohol, that our lives became unmanageable, you receive a physical sobriety.
You're sober. And step number two is a key word, believing. Came to believe that our greater-than-ourself could restore us to sanity. It doesn't say will. It says could. Provide you're willing to help God. Try not to depend on everything for God. Because he puts you here and he guides you. But after all, you've got to do your own walking. He's not going to carry you on his back. So, with accepting step number two, you'll receive a mental sobriety, restored to sanity.
See? And a third step, that's where you have to make a decision, especially newcomers. Whether go again to AA meeting and find out what the score is, or what else you can hear or learn, you've got to make a decision. Or, some of them just throw their hands up in the air and say the last famous word. Oh, what the hell are you? Then they're going to get drunk. That's no solution. That's disaster. So, you achieved already.
turned my will, emphasis on will, and my life, all care of God as I understand it.
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You receive a spiritual sobriety. There you've got most three important sobrieties. You can't go wrong. When you receive that, the mental sobriety starts you thinking more rationally. And when you turn your will and your life over to care of God as you understand Him, my friend, let me inform you, making myself an example. My life created by Creator. It's not mine. It was given to me in my care. And I abused it by drinking.
But after AA came to existence, I learned how to take care of my life. And you're learning too. But it takes time. This program designed not for those who need it, but for those who want it. Remember that. You've got to want it. And you've got to want it for yourself and yourself alone. Not get your wife off your back or your employer or whatever. So then you'll be standing puzzled. And all of a sudden you feel there's something in your hand.
And you open your hand, and lo and behold, you see a key in there. Yeah, where it comes from, nobody knows. The key in there. And you look, and it happens to be all of a sudden the door in front of you has a keyhole. Looks like it might fit. And of course, we're curious people, alcoholics. We'll try anything. So we put the key in the hole, and as we turn, lo and behold, the door almost opens by itself.
And when we look through that door, we see a path. That's the path that we pioneers cleared for all sober alcoholics to walk on. And we're printed on the very top line on a portion of Chapter 5. We rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed that path. You take a few steps down there, and then on the side, the right-hand side, you notice there's a little plaque where the arrow points up the path.
And then you get a little closer, and you read the inscription on that plaque. And the inscription reads, This is a path that leads to faith that works. There you've got it. You're on the path. Don't worry about the fourth step. It won't go away. They're all attached to one another. By taking a personal fearless inventory. And especially the fifth step. A lot of people worry about the fifth step. Well, I can't confess, and I can't do this, and I can't tell anybody.
They want to find a nice person that will not repair the exact nature of the wrong. But let me tell you something. You take, unconsciously, you've taken a fifth step. At any meeting you attend, you sit around a table. A general discussion meeting, whether it's related to a drunk-a-log. All right? The sooner you open your mouth and tell these people you're drunk-a-log, and the wrong things you did, you took a fifth step automatically right there and then.
And especially, except telling myself and God and the other person the exact nature of their wrong, you tell the whole room full of people. So you see, you're taking the fifth step without even realizing the exact nature of their wrong. So don't let the steps worry you. And if they do puzzle you, they'll tell you. Pick up the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and a long form explanation. It'll tell you what each step means.
It'll explain to you. But very few people do that, and that's their problem. You people think you've got a problem. I'll trade you my problem for every one of your problems. You know what my problem is? Each and every one of you. I'm trying to figure out how I can help somebody. Especially during the meeting like this afternoon. I can look at him and say, after he related his problem, I suggest that he get a sponsor as soon as he can.
Because sponsor, in my opinion, is two heads better than one.
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Always have been and always will be. I was in hope I'm getting through. You know, this isn't a place to doze. You know, I was invited over here to speak. And you people came, I presume, to listen. So let's finish it together, huh? Now, the best way I can suggest for each and every one of you is try to forgive yourself, because God already did. That's why each and every one of you is stone sober right at this moment.
Believe me, he did forgive you. Now it's your turn to forgive yourself. You've been waiting long enough. And some of you think, hey, even some of them have enough nerve to tell me, Charlie, I already did. And I know damn well they didn't forgive themselves. Otherwise they wouldn't have no problem. See? Once you forgive yourself, you're clean. Like washing your hands with soap and water, when this doesn't soak in like that.
So, then another thing. Try, try your best to discard self-condemnation, the wrongs we do. The wrongs we did. You see, it's an illustration. Take, for example, a horse. It's got four legs. And you can see, even four legs, the horse does stumble once in a while. What chance is a human being with two legs not to stumble, huh? Because, always remember, we're human beings. I've been reprimanded one time by one of my members.
Hasn't been on very long. He said, Charlie, why do you call us people and people? I said, what do you expect me to call you? Well, he said, you people this, you people that. Well, I said, less I want to remind you. To me, alcoholics do resemble people. Am I right or am I wrong? I lied. But you see, there's a difference with people. Difference. You're, as I said before, a little while back, you're a beautiful people.
And that's something not easily obtained, being a beautiful people, and being called by someone that's not so beautiful. And another thing. Try this. I'm giving you, I brought a bushel basket of pearls of wisdom. And I'm going to spread it all over. Pick out the ones that you like, whether it's color or size. May your conscience be your guide. And take it home with you. Be good to other people. That's when you're best to yourself.
How's that? Here lay just what I wrote in this book. This is my last writing for this book. And at chapter 11, page 164, second paragraph. Still you may say, but I will not have the benefit to contact with you who write this book. Take a good look.
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Now very last words on the bottom of the last paragraph. May God bless you and keep you until then. That's it. The sanity has not been restored to me. Read it. That's all. Sanity has not been restored to me. Boy, guarantee that is. To be a sane human being here. The 11th principle tells me I have no mental defense against the first grade. I'm a mental genius. I'm a mental child. I got six degrees including two doctorates.
And they tell me I have no mental defense. I know I don't. But they do tell me in the 12th principle that I have a daily retreat. And that's contingent upon my spiritual condition for today. That's all. Only for today. Only for today. The 13th principle tells me that each day is a day I must carry the vision of God into all my activities. Each day. I must carry the vision of God into all my activities.
How best can I serve thee? Thine will be done and not mine. And then you can pick up on the rest of the 240 principles. If you look in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the word principle means answer or solution. When I came to you people, my answer was four fingers of bourbon. For everything. You've given me 250 principles to live by. These are my tools that I use today. And I don't have to drink and I've never had a better life.
The 11th principle tells me when I retire at night, I must reconstruct my day. It tells me, page 87, what I'm supposed to do. This, this, this, and this at night. And the next verse says upon awakening in the morning. These are the things I have to do. The next gives you two and a half pages of the things you have to do. Those are a few of the half pages. The 11th principle tells me I can only pray for two things.
I can't pray for me anymore. I only can pray for the knowledge of God's will for me in the fire to carry it out. My old laundry list has to go. I can't even pray for me anymore. You ever realize when you turn your will on your leg over to God there isn't that much left? Then it's his job to take care of me and it's my job to do his will. You may say, well then, what's God's will for you? Page 77 says I must fit myself in to be of maximum service to God and all of his people.
That's the only reason why I'm here praying with you tonight to fulfill my promise. The 12th step tells me after having had a spiritual awakening. What is my spiritual awakening? When I came to you people I was a selfish, self-centered and self-conscious person. By the way, that's the definition of an alcoholic. Selfish and self-centered and self-conscious. As a result of working this program, the 11 steps, I became God-centered and God-conscious.
And I assume for me today what I'm going to do for myself. I'm a sober, grateful member of alcoholic knowledge. And I never have been. The second part of the 12th step is what I started out with. It says we try to carry this message to the alcoholic. The message that gave me this way of life. Hopefully I've done that. And the 12th step says we practice these principles in all of our affairs. What principles?
There's 250 between pages 1 and 64. And for our new friends. If I need to summarize this thing up, I can do it in the last paragraph. Page 256. my fellow man. I had to clean up the wreckage of my past and get freely at what I claimed
[01:15:02]
in this program. And now I can walk hand-in-hand with you down the road to happy heaven. I've never met a stranger in Alcoholics Anonymous. Because all I have to do is put my hand up and say, hey, I'm John, I'm an alcoholic. And we instantly know each other. So there's no strangers in Alcoholics Anonymous. And if you feel you're not a part of Alcoholics Anonymous, you haven't strung out your hand yet. Try it. And when you do, ask the person to tell you how their program works. And be willing to sit and listen. Listen, I said, now think. Listen. One day you're going to find this way of life. It's the greatest life I've ever known. Another thing that I found very helpful in this program, and I'd like to pass it on to the new people, the Alzheimer's will attest to it. A lot of meetings make this program easy. A few make it harder. And none make it impossible. So keep coming to the meetings. I want to close with a little story I tell. It happened to me in 1977 in Italy. Now A is only about 15 years old in Italy. That was six years ago. One night I was coming into Milan. I'd come up from Florence. No air conditioning in that damn car, and it was sultry and hot and miserable. And they caught the traffic all the way. And I got to my hotel. I suffocated. And I know what to do when I see the hotel. I go to the bell captain, and I tell him I want Alcoholics Anonymous. You may be in a foreign country that you don't speak their language, but that's the reason why he's bell captain. He speaks your language. And all you have to go through is tell him that you're an alcoholic, and you need to fuck Alcoholics Anonymous. And watch out the pass, he gets it. He didn't want any problems that night. Now I can't speak Italian. But he got on that phone, and he's on the phone. He says, there will be a man named Giovanni Leone. He said, over to see you at 7.30. So I went upstairs and showered, changed clothes, and came down about 7.30, and here was a little Italian guy. He wasn't even 5 foot tall. He was in his work clothes, and this was a pretty spointy hotel. And he was walking over to me, and he said, Giovanni, alcoholic. And he can't speak English. So I got permission to take him into the dining room, and he put us in a dark corner. And he shared his program with me for an hour in Italian. I shared my program with him for an hour in English. And after two and a half hours, we stood up and threw our arms around each other, and their tears in their eyes. I walked him up to the foyer, and he went up to the dark of the night, and I was sure he was going to get a nice sleep. That's all for Alcoholics Anonymous. There's no stranger for me, eh? And there's no language failure, because we share the message of love.
He paired it up, come and share, with a stranger in his own hometown. He knew he'd never see me again, and yet he gave two and a half hours of his week to somebody he'd never see again. And he keeps on giving me a hug, and wishing me well on the way. That's Alcoholics Anonymous. For our new friends, why don't you start being good to yourself? A lot of meetings may lead a few may depart, but none take my place. And I thank you for my words.
Thank you.