And now I would like to introduce our speaker for tonight, Jane O’Toole from San Francisco. I haven’t heard Jane, but I have heard many wonderful things about her, that she has a wonderful message. And without any further from me, I’d like to introduce Jane. Thank you. Hi, everyone. My name is Jane O’Toole, and I’m an alcoholic. Hi, Jane. First, may I apologize for being late. It was unavoidable. There was a lot of traffic, and we didn’t leave San Francisco quite as soon as we expected to. But I’m very grateful to be here. These are many old friends, and certainly looking forward to meeting many new ones. I’m always grateful when I’m given the privilege to participate in any AA meeting because participation in AA means that I’m in the program. I’m not just on a program. AA and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is my life. I’ve made it my avocation as well as my vocation, and I am extremely grateful to each and every one of you for playing such an important part in my life.

When I’m asked to speak at an AA meeting, I always tell my story. I don’t want to bore you with what is called a drunkalog, but I feel that the before and after and what we’re doing now part of the book is suggested in our big book is important. When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous and speakers from the podium shared with me their experiences and strength and helped me identify myself as an alcoholic, I found great, great deal of, of hope in their messages. We very often hear the newcomers, and I hear this quite frequently in working with newcomers all the time, that all you hear is the horrible things that people did at AA meetings. I think we fail to listen sometimes and hear what has happened and what we are trying to be like today. And only in by comparison and in retrospect can we bring you up to date and bring you to the now of the way we are living or attempting to live to the best of our ability.

Anything I know about myself today, I have learned through this fellowship and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Because surely it’s when I was a little girl and when I did take the first inventory of myself, as was suggested when I came to this program, I went back into my childhood because this was the only way I could do it. I’m not by any manner or means suggesting that you do it this way, but this was the way I took my first inventory. Wasn’t a particularly honest one, but it was as honest as I knew how to be at the time. And I went back into my childhood, and I found a very frightened, a very shy, and a very lonely little girl. I was, uh, the youngest of four. My brother next to me was almost four years older than myself, but I played alone a great deal, and I stayed alone a great deal. I read, and I fantasized all by myself. I preferred to be alone. My brothers and sisters were wonderful people. They were good to me. They, they babied me because I was the baby of the family.