You know, that’s, uh, that’s just about true, come to think about it. And, uh, the way these people got up, sat down, and left don’t make me really feel like I’m wanted now. I, uh.. it’s always about this time when I wish I’d have stayed home. But things are different, particularly at this conference and this meeting. I think so. I, I feel like, uh, that boy did when he attended that old-fashioned funeral service up there in Lowndes County some years back. He was sitting on the back row, and it was one of them showing up down home funerals. And the wife of the deceased was kneeling down by the coffin. She was moaning and groaning, “Oh, speak to me, Henry.” It would get real quiet, and she’d say, “Oh, speak to me, Henry.” And great big old fat woman sitting back on the back row was a-fanning herself and a-listening. “Oh, speak to me, Henry.” About that time, she quit, fanned a little faster.

You know, just the one next to her says, “If you do, it’s one that’s flat mine.” Uh, you get to feeling like this when you get up before a bunch of folks that are going to ask to divulge the nature of why you’re here. I love drunks. I love drunk stories. I used not to, but I seem like I do now, and there’s one I.. that’s a favorite drunk story of mine. This drunk out in Fiesta, we have a little fiesta out in San Antonio when everybody gets drunk and stays drunk for a whole week, and the winos particularly like it because they don’t get run in, you know? And one day this one was all grown up, and he was standing across the street from this fine-looking beaten fellow, and he says, “Excuse me, mister. Could you tell me one thing?” The fellow said, “Be glad to.” He says, “Could you, could you tell me w- w- where the other side of the street is?” And he was very firm and proper like our city officials. He said, “Why, certainly. It’s right over there.” He says, “That’s funny.

The man over there said it was over here.” Ooh, I’m telling the truth. I don’t really feel this funny, but I’m so nervous and scared that I just want to.. I just want to giggle. You know, I don’t know. Uh.. I did think of another story while the preacher was a-preaching about a drunk that I’ve heard about. I don’t know whether it’s true or not, but he was, he was up in the land of Pennsylvania where they, where they’re overrun by Dunkards. Now, us good Southern Baptists don’t know too much about Dunkards, but they’re funny looking dudes. They, they don’t believe in shaving, and they don’t believe in wearing clothes with thread in them. You know, they just hang straight, and they, and, uh, they’re weird looking. Anyway, this drunk from the south, Mississippi, was up through there, and he got, got all messed up outside Philadelphia, and he was trying to get back to town. And the bus come along. He got on the bus and, and had this fine fellow drop his money in.