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Source: Maynard B – St. John's Big Book Study – Queens, NY. 1991 – Speaker Talk – Date Unknown.mp3 File: maynard-b-st-johns-big-book-study-queens-ny-1991-speaker-talk-date-unknown.mp3 Duration: 00:38:52
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And now the most important thing I would like to do for this evening is to introduce this gentleman which I met quite a few moons ago. And it's always been a privilege to see him when I've been to the conventions. I love to go to the Northeast Regional Conventions and he goes to all the conventions. He travels all over the place. And I remember one time, you know, when I had known him for a couple of years and he come to me and he said, you know, I have had one of the nicest things happen to me. They selected my story and put it in the big book. And he passed me, he had had some of these, this story, he had had them reprinted and he passed me one. And he signed it for me. And, you know, we always feel that somebody is helping us someplace. And I always wanted to rub my elbow on his, you know, and say, give me a little bit of your sobriety. Because he is a beautiful, beautiful man. He comes from Perth, New Brunswick, but is now living in Fairfield, Mass. And I would, Fairfield, Connecticut. And I would like to introduce Maynard to you.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Maynard B.. I am an alcoholic. And I am a very grateful alcoholic. Because I know what is wrong with me. I can't drink. I can't drink alcohol, drug alcohol, or any other mood changer. I could have been a pothead. I could have been a junkie. But that was enough for me. Alcohol was enough drug for me. And that almost ruined my life. But through drinking, I got into this beautiful program. And I want to congratulate your big five over there. They say alive at five, right? So that's pretty good there. And I want to congratulate you all for coming in this bad night. And I'm only going to share a little bit of my story. Because to me, we know all that stuff. I was down in New York, and they call that dumping.
But in an open meeting, it's okay. But they told me in general service, I was there last Friday. They could do something about this dumping, you know. We all know that. We don't have to bring that in open meetings or closed meetings, really. Because I mean, sharing means what you're doing about the program works. Program is positive. But that dumping is negative. We know all about that. And you know who gets that dumping? Your sponsors. Them's the ones supposed to get the dumping.
That's very important. Get a good sponsor. A sponsor that done the 12 steps of Alcoholics' Knowledge. And if you don't know that this, if you watch the steps, you don't mention nothing about sharing. It says in a step 12, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. You try to help the suffering alcoholic. So before you have step 12, you got nothing to share. It's all dumping. And that only started a few years ago. And I think the rehabs are the ones that started that. They tell a lot of these people to dump their stuff in an AA meeting.
And when I came in the program, they told me, keep your big mouth shut. Take the cotton out of your ears. Stick it in your mouth. And listen for 90 days. Listen for 90 days. If you don't hear nothing in 90 days, that's glad they refund your misery. Now they got that twisted around, 90 and 90. When I came in, they said one day at a time. Even that was a long time.
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And they say we can make it for one day, make it 12 hours. I used to have to do it five minutes
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at a time. And we didn't, we wasn't as lucky as today. Them days, we were lucky to get two meetings a week in one town. And I always feel good to be around this area. Because I had, I was in the program a very short time. And I used to go to Congress Street. They have a fire station there. And we used to go to the meetings there. And we used to go, I got in AA in Lewiston, Maine. And we used to go to Lewiston, Livermore Falls. There wasn't too many meetings. Waterville.
But they had good meetings. And I'm glad there was none of this dumping. It was all strictly how to, how to solve our problem. Which was good for me. And I still do a lot of listening. Because God gave us two ears to hear, and one mouth to talk. So I think he wants us to listen more, more. I was very fortunate. I want to thank Adele for asking me to share witches. And I want to thank Ricky and Don while I think of it. And especially my higher power, my chauffeur.
He brought me up here. He's been a great help to me. And so it's a pleasure that to me, they told me to keep this, you got to share it. So that's what I'm going to do tonight. So I'm not going to do too much dumping. I'm going to just do a little bit. I was born on an Indian reservation up in Canada. I know you know where Canada is. But that's where I was born. And I was born up there. And I was, I'm the oldest of 13. And my father was a cop. And being the oldest, he wanted to make me a, he wanted me to show a good example to my young brothers and sisters, which I failed. Because, you know, to me, all my life, ever since I could remember, I was always seeking. I started swearing. That's another thing you don't do around here.
Four-letter words don't belong here. They belong in the, that belongs on the street somewhere, or in the lumberjack camps, or, you know, that's where you belong. You don't belong here. That's the first thing I'd done was learn them four-letter words. I thought I was growing up. Then I found girls. I thought I found it. No, that didn't last. And then I found alcohol. I found it. Till it turned against me. Turned against me in my last day of drinking.
To me, there's only two important days I don't want to forget. It's day one when I came into the program. Because I suffered. And today, and I want to thank, I shall be eternally grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous. Because to me, AA also stands for me. I am alive again. I was reborn in Alcoholics Anonymous. Before Alcoholics Anonymous, I existed. I always want, want, want. You could have gave me the whole world, I wouldn't say thank you. But today, you gave me a cup of coffee.
I thank you and I mean it. That's what I learned through this program. And this Alcoholics Anonymous is nothing new. Many thousands of years ago, the good Lord brought this AA program in this world by giving us the Lord's Prayer. But we didn't listen. We heard, but we didn't listen. That's why I say, listen is so important. I heard all this stuff when I went to school, but I didn't listen. I just heard it and I used to recite different things, but I didn't know what I was talking about. I used to recite a whole bunch of poems and everything, but I didn't know what I was saying. It's the same thing about left living, you know. I didn't, I didn't live. And when I found alcohol,
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I didn't grow. I stayed right, when I started drinking, I was in my teens. When I started drinking, I stayed right there until the day I came into Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I started growing up, up here. And in the first step, he says, I am powerless over alcohol. The ism, my life had become undemandable. That's my ism, is I, self, and me. I am so important. Myself, I'm so important. Me, it was always me, me, me. But coming to Alcoholics Anonymous, I found out it's we. We is so much easier. We, we mean God, and God works through people. I got drunk, but we stay sober. And we have a beautiful program in the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Because I, like I said before, I didn't start living until I came into the Alcoholics Anonymous. I was 14 months in the program. You know, they told me you become dry and become sober. Then you have sobriety. Then maybe you have measure of serenity.
So, I was dry for 14 months. I read all the stories, all the stories. Kept me sober for 14 months. Finally, something was missing. And there was a speaker from New York. I was living in Connecticut. There was a speaker from New York, and he, the meeting wasn't as big as this, maybe half as big, because that was, they only had one meeting in Bridgeport. And there was about 150, I guess. But I was among the group, and this guy was talking. He never saw me, but he was talking to me. He said one of the most important things in Alcoholics Anonymous is to be grateful.
Because if you're not grateful, you're resentful. And he says, he says to be grateful. And he says, and the way my thinking was, grateful for what? To myself, you know. Then he started. You got to be grateful you have your limbs. You have your eyesight. You go in a veteran hospital, you see a lot of people, no eyesight. They got to be fed. People in wheelchairs. You know, since that day to today, I'm grateful. I'm grateful to be chosen as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. And they told me it was either Alcoholics Anonymous institution or death.
So that's why I'm so grateful. We are lucky. We were born at the age when there was Alcoholics Anonymous. Because before that, we'll say about 57 years ago, there was only two places for an alcoholic to go. It was either the back room, Aunt Mabel's in the back room, or they're in an institution, or death. Two ways to go. But today, we are very fortunate we have Alcoholics Anonymous. And it's not, and I heard it was only 5% of my problem was alcohol. 5%. 95% of my problem is between them. Two years. And I wake up with that every day. I wake up with that every day. So, I am not alone. I used to think I was unique. I'm not unique. World's full of people. Same as me. But through the Alcoholics Anonymous, we have a chance.
And this is a beautiful way of life. Of all the millions and millions of people in the world, I don't think we have two million in the program. So how fortunate we are. How fortunate we are. They also told me, use it, but don't abuse it. And they also have these rehabs to make a misunderstanding. They call slip when you pick up a drink. No. Slip comes way before that. Slip comes way before that. When you cease to be grateful, then you become complacent.
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When you become complacent, you stop listening. Then you start cutting down on your meetings. You're making two week, three week, you cut down to two or three in two week, two or three in a month. So at the end of that, you pick up a drink. That's the end of the slip. That's the end of the slip. And it's very important because somebody, you don't get struck drunk or you don't get struck sober. You got to work for it. You got to work for it. Either way, you don't. It's tough to drink. You got to work hard to be able to afford a drink.
And so over here, all you have to do is don't drink for one day at a time. And I heard also is by the inch, it's a cinch. By the yard, it's hard. Believe me, it is. And I want to tell you a little. When I first came in the program, they told me about a story of troops have gone overseas. There was a magician and a parrot. Magician was doing a lot of tricks to the troops. And every time a magician do a trick, the parrot would squeal on him.
He's up his sleeve. He's in his vest. He's in his pocket. About that time, a torpedo hits the boat. Everybody was sunk. So for days, they were floating around on this mass. One side was a parrot. The other side was a magician. They were floating around for days. Finally, the parrot says to the magician, okay, I give up. Where's the ship? That's the way we got to come into alcoholic synonyms. I can't handle it. It's killing me. I need help. That's the way you come. And we get help through alcoholic synonyms. And it's not like I mentioned before, it's not stop and drink. It's a way of life. It's a beautiful way of life. And I want to thank Adele for asking me to come up here and Ricky because I've been coming up here. They always ask me back. But when I was drinking, before I hit the door, it's locked. You could hear the door being locked, you know. But I mean, it's so much different, this program, you know. And as I was saying about my family, I set a bad example to the young brothers and sisters. And they picked up a drink. But I was very fortunate. I'm so grateful to this program. Because when I got into the program, I had a brother living with me. We were working right here in Lewiston, Maine. And I got to the program, my sponsor took me to my first reading. And it was a very small meeting, excuse me. A very small meeting, maybe about, it was held in a little hotel in Lewiston.
And it was about a 12 by 12 room down in the basement. And I couldn't get back far enough in the back room. My last drink was on the 12th of July. But I had my first meeting on the 15th. And from the 12th to the 15th, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even drink water. Nothing would stay in my stomach. And I didn't go to no rehab. I'm glad I didn't, because I'd been spoiled. But this way, I had to suffer for that. So he took me to our first AA meeting. And the thing, I thought I was pretty smart in my young days when I was going to school. I was always with the older boys and girls, and I used to skip grades. But I wasn't that smart. Because this guy, one of the guys that shared at the meeting, he says, you don't drink for one day at a time, and you won't get drunk. Ain't that right? A smart guy like me didn't know that, though. But that's the way it is. It's just one day at a time. And you'll be surprised how they pile up, you know. And it gets better and better. I had a priest friend of mine, he was in the program about 25 years. He used
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to say, this program gets better and better and better. And if you can't get any better, then it gets better. And believe me, it does. It really does get better. A lot of things I never dreamed would happen to me, happen. But if these things happened to me when I was early in the program, I wouldn't appreciate them like I do now. Like I mentioned before, if you do those steps, you're able to appreciate. Be grateful. That's very important. Because I'm not alone. I'll tell you why. We're born with resentment. We're born with anger. We're born with self-pity. And we always want a pacifier. Who tells a baby how to do these things? A baby, if you don't get his way, he cries. Then he gets self-pity. Then he gives him a bottle and it says pacifier. I was the same way. I was always seeking something.
But I found it in Alcoholics Anonymous. That's my pacifier today. And one day at a time, the greatest discovery for me, because I never lived one day at a time. I always was six months past, six months in the future. I forgot about today. But living one day at a time, this program I heard is like an adjustable wrench. It'll fit any nut. And believe me, it does. Believe me, it does. And when I was out there drinking, I was brought up a Catholic all the boy, Catechism, the Bible and the works. But when I was drinking, for seven years I didn't even go near a church. But I was in Alcoholics Anonymous. I got back to my church and I hope I never lose it. Because to me, all the things I was taught when I was growing up, I thought it didn't concern me. But believe me, I was glad to get back what I lost, you know. And it's a way of life. And I'm a kind of a person that don't like rules. I like to break rules. That's me before I came into it. I hate to be told to do this, do that, you know. I resent that. But resent is not too good for us. Anger, you got to replace it with love. See now, where was I? I'm going to say, no.
Well, this program worked for me because I got in AA in Lewiston, Maine. I was there about six months and I went to Bridgeport, Connecticut. That's where I had done all my drinking. I hit that jail many, many times, North Avenue. I think I was in North Avenue once, but then one on Fairfield Avenue. I must have hit that 7,000 times. But we were working for cops and they used to get me out. Finally, one day, just about this time, just before Armistice, I, 1953, I hope I never forget it, 1953, I got out of jail about, might be about the 9th or 10th of November. And he took me out of the jail in North Avenue Jail. And I was always scared in North Avenue Jail. And he got me out. He said, next time I won't be able to get you out. But that weekend was Armistice, just like this weekend. And he says, so I said, no, it wouldn't happen again. But the Armistice day never went by me because I'm a veteran. And I used to drink for any occasion, anything for an excuse. There wasn't a reason, but there was an excuse to drink. So I pick up a drink and I got in jail. And I used to have one black eye, but this time I had two black
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eyes. And, and then I called my boss, came down. He says, for your own good, before you get killed, I'm going to buy you a one-way ticket to Canada. Oh, excuse me. That's what I was looking for. Thank you. So he says, I'm going to buy you a one-way ticket to Canada. I'm so glad he did because I wouldn't be here today. So I went up home. I got there in November until they started building the turnpike. It was in March. My brother and I went, went to work in the main turnpike. That's where I got my Alcoholics Anonymous. And then I went to Bridgeport, Connecticut. Then the first thing I'd done there was get in contact with Alcoholics Anonymous. And I still had my sponsor there. He's six years younger, but he was sober one year longer. And I adopted him for a sponsor. And I have lost many sponsors since. But he, so he's still, I still make contact with him. He's been a great help for me. There was a meeting where I go to, early bird meeting, they call. And they done a lot of dumping there. Dump, dump, dump, you know. Finally, I said, finally, I got sick of it.
I was going to change my group. So I talked to him. He told me, he said, you lead that meeting tomorrow morning and tell them what you think about this dumping. Because we never had any dumping when we came around. And I shared it. And that was the best thing ever happened to me. That's why sponsors are so important. Because when we come in here, we're full of this, well, I call it dumping. Because we all know all about this, losing jobs and losing marriages, losing relationships. I could go on and on. We know all that. How to avoid them, that's what we want to know. And how to avoid them is don't drink and go to meetings and listen. That's how we avoid them. And we want to listen to how they do it. How the people that are ahead of, in the program before us, how did they do it.
And that's very important. Because the other way, you can go to any bar, you hear all that stuff. And it's not going to be one bit of good, because you know all about that stuff. And it's so important. We don't have to dump in these meetings. And the general service, I was there the other day, and they mentioned that again. And I didn't tell them nothing about it. I just listened. I still do a lot of listening. The only time I, yep, is when I'm asked to share. And I want to tell you that it worked for me. And my family, I'll tell you, my brother stayed sober for 30 years, until he passed away a year, six years ago.
My father stayed sober for 15 years. And he came, came to his first meeting, and he followed the directions, and stayed sober, until he passed away. I had a young brother, he was sober a year, he picked up a drink. One year, picked up a drink, he may be innocent, maybe not. He's still in prison. Then have two sisters, they're sober 10 years, they picked up a drink. One of my sisters was out six years, and she's celebrating her 14th sober year again. And, but she had to work hard, because the first time, it's a gift.
Abuse it, but don't abuse it. And my other sister was sober 10 years, and she's still out there. I don't know what's keeping her alive, but how lucky. I hope she makes it. And my sponsor's brother, he picked up a drink, when I first came around, and he got run over by a train. Another guy I looked up to, he was sober 14 months, he picked up a drink. And he lost his two legs. I didn't know, when you came in the program, I didn't know about a relapse, or going back drinking. And, but them two guys showed me, what can happen to me. They told me it's like playing, this drink, and if you go back drinking, it's playing, like playing Russian roulette. There's a live round there.
There's life around there, and I firmly believe it, because I've seen so many of them. Some go out two, three times.
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Some never come back the first time, and I figure that's me. But that was the best thing that ever happened to one person that had to happen to them. And then they told me, says, I don't have to pick up a drink. Just watch a person that goes out and drink. I was in a Bridgeport group, and there was a guy, seven years, on a white-collar, he had a white-collar job. He says, he never this, never that, never this, you know, he's always saying this.
And he picked up, he started cutting down on the meetings, and he'd pick up a drink. He'd come back a month later, a month later. Then all these nevers he was talking about, they happened. Then he went out again. Never heard no more about him. I mean, them people are example. And I always say, people in Alcoholics Anonymous are an example of what AA can do. And people that go back out there, people that are going in institutions, but for the grace of God, they go wide.
They're an example for me, what can happen if I start cutting down on my meetings. Then there's the people I know, hundreds of people. I was worse than they were. They're a long time buried. So there's only three ways for an alcoholic to go. It's either Alcoholics Anonymous, institution, or death. And I said before, it's only 5% of our problem. Because John Deane, he was a good friend of mine, he passed away.
He used to say, he hurts awfully, and he don't suffer too well. That really hit me between the eyes, and I believe him. And none of us are suffering too well, none of us. But being in this program, we don't have to go out there and knock our heads against the wall no more. That's all we're doing. Life's a gamble, but don't abuse it. Life is short enough. And to me, there's a heaven, it's in Alcoholics Anonymous, heaven on earth.
To come in here, you've got to go through hell. I'm not going to talk too much longer, because I'm getting hoarse already. But I'll—excuse me. But I want to tell you something. When I was in the program 21 years, and they were talking about Denver, Colorado, that we're going to have the 40th anniversary. I think it was the 40th, something like that. So, I was in the program 21 years. I'm a carpenter, and I do construction, my work is seasonal.
And you had to get your registration early. And spring day, then I had about $75, and my check was the next day. So, I said, well, take a chance, I'll go down to Belmont. I went to Belmont, and I got $800. So, I said to myself, I think the higher power wants me to go to Denver. So, I said, I always thought it was just for lawyers and doctors and everything, you know. Higher ups, professional people, but it's not.
And when I got there, there was a—I forgot how many thousands there were, but there was a big, a lot of people from all over the world. And they had a lot of Indians, too. And joined the tribe, this is my tribe. But over there, there was—we had a—where the golden—where the nuggets play hockey, there's a hockey arena. And half of it was cut out, you know, they put a curtain. And there was an AA meeting in the middle.
And also, an Indian would share the program. Then they'd have the tom-toms, and, you know, all the—they had the regalia on. And they'd dance. And then, after that, they'd have an AA speaker, and then go back and forth. And to me, when that was finished, my cup was full. I could have gone and come back then, but there was more in store for me.
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And when they were playing the tom-toms, there were people around the bleachers. There were about three rows of bleachers. But, you know, people were just going with the beat, you know. So that was fun for me. Then there was so many other things going on. And they had a coffee—coffee urns there, you know, where they had the coffee. I always remember that. They had a big room, almost as big as this.
And every four feet was a tap. They had coffee running steady. And you come in one way, and you go out the other way, you know. And I think they made 400 gallons each time they made it. And they were making a lot of it. And they never used so much coffee, they say, anywhere. But that in such a short time. I think there were about 25,000 there. And then I went to New Orleans, and that was another big thing.
They had that in the Superdome. Then 1975 went up to 1980—no, 85. I went up to Montreal, and they had the Expo there. So many thousands of people. That was wonderful. It's good to go to these. After I went to the first one, I found out, as long as you had the money, you can go. And I always like to, you know, look, save up for them things. Next one's going to be in San Diego, and anybody can make it.
I suggest trying to make it, because they're terrific, to see so many thousands of people. And I think they're building a new building just for that purpose, you know. Not only for that, but they want to have it built for when they have the convention there. I think they had 48,000 in Washington, D.C. I mean, Washington—Seattle, Washington. I was very fortunate with John and I were up there—Vicky and Don were up there.
Seattle was a beautiful city, and there was a lot of AA people there. And life begins when you stop drinking. To me, I was reborn in AA, because I existed before, but today I'm alive. And if I can do it, as I said before, you can. And my father used to say, beg the newcomer, do come back, do come back. And Bill Wilson used to say to the newcomer, if we don't share this program, it's like the—I mean, without the newcomer, it's like the Dead Sea.
You have nothing to share to the newcomer. By sharing to them what happened to us, that's when we want to share, because by our example, what the AA can do, you can do. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.