DICOBE-00484 – B J S – FLORIDA STATE CONF – 1980-08-29

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B.J. from Georgia. Thank you very much, Bernie. I'm B.J. S. and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm from Decatur, Georgia. I don't feel like I'm a stranger here because I've attended, I think, the last four or five of the Florida State Conventions. And looking around this room, I see so many people that have been so instrumental in my life. I could name several. My good friends Bernice and Bob. Bob is, is her husband.

He's an Al-Anon. You know, if you have an Al-Anon woman, she says she's the spouse of a louse. But I don't know what Bob would say. And then I see my good friends Sam here and John and I see a delegation here from Georgia sitting over here. But I am so thankful that and grateful to be here with you, to share with you. My experience, strength and hope. That perhaps our experiences will identify one with the other and we can gain strength to continue this way of life one day at a time. I'm a native Georgian born and reared in a little town called Cochran, Georgia. It's between Litter Barrel and Resume Speed.

I'm the youngest of six children and the only one in the family that ever had a problem with a grape. So naturally the others could not understand my malady which I suffer with when I first became insane. I did not have any problem with alcohol until I was through school and when I moved to the great city of Atlanta, I became a small fish in a big pond. That compares with living in the small town of Cochran as being a big fish in a little pond.

I found that no one knew me and I knew no one. I could walk down the streets and no one recognized me. In fact, hell, it didn't take time to recognize anyone. So this was the first encounter that I had with the encouragement that I received from alcohol. We have a street in Atlanta, those of you who are familiar with it, called Pawstalline Avenue. And there I met my first encounter with alcohol. I drank and immediately I became what I wanted to be in the big city. I could tell them what a big man I was in the small town.

And this led to years of progressive drinking. I would not classify alcoholic drinking, I would just call it heavy drinking. And without belaboring the drunk-a-log, I drank heavily for about 10-12 years and then I got into the imaginary line of the unknown line of alcoholism. Like so many, I was into the service and while in the service I drank, did the normal crazy things that one would do in the service while drinking, the least of which would not be running into a train.

And upon returning from service, I was a young fellow, only I'd say about 22 years of age, 23, and I obtained a job with a large corporation headquartered in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I went to that city and for a period of about 90 days I rubbed elbows with some of the most wealthiest individuals in this country, executives, and being an alcoholic and being scared to death and not being sure of myself and feeling totally inadequate, I had to have something to compensate for this feeling of inadequacy, for this feeling of not belonging, for this feeling of not knowing what to do.

So I resorted to the only thing that had ever given me any relief in my life before and that was alcohol. And I took this job and I came back south and started traveling the 13 states, but invariably every time I got an opportunity to travel the state of Georgia, I made it a point to go back through my hometown because I had to give those people the assurance of how great I was doing.

[00:05:13]

Well, all along I was scared to death because I was dealing in areas which I was totally unfamiliar. I was dealing in areas which I did not know what I was doing, but I had to do as so many of us have to do, I had to make the best of it with my good friend John Barley Corn. And I drank, and the last time, I remember one of the particular times I came through my hometown and I was telling everyone how well I was doing and we sat there and drank on until dusk. Then I started on my way to Atlanta, to my home, and when I got to Macon, that's the last I remember, I woke up the next morning in a place I'd never found myself before.

It was quite different, it had bars. Not the kind that you drink out of, the kind you look out of. And I asked this chap next door to me and I said, next door, next cell, what am I talking about? The next cell, I said, where am I? He said, you're in the Bibb County Jail. I said, what the hell are you saying? And after a few moments of discussion, I called the, what do you call them, the turnkey and told him I'd like to pay my way out, to which he responded, you can't pay your way out of this, you'll have to go before the judge.

And this frightened me something terrible, but I finally got arranged for bond and was released and returned to Atlanta and immediately started calling everyone I knew, trying to get this matter, as we say, handled. Handled, you know. And finally I went down on a Saturday morning with my father and the matter was, quote unquote, handled. And I had promised everyone, including my wife at that time, that I would not drink anymore.

I had promised my preacher that I would not drink anymore. I promised everyone I could meet that I would not drink anymore. And I did not drink anymore, but I didn't drink any less either. For I immediately got myself a bottle and went over to a little town called San Francisco, Georgia, and held up for a week. This is the insanity of alcoholism. That time I'd never heard of AA, I'd never heard of the disease of alcoholism. In my hometown and everywhere else I'd ever been, they just called them a drunk. But I continued this drinking pattern and then I finally decided, well, it's the work that's doing it to me.

Maybe I should get a job where I don't have to travel. So I got a job with a large oil company. I went to work for the Gulf Oil Company. And I found out quickly what that Gulf means. It means it's given till life fails. Because I found out quickly that those people really know how to get well oiled. Because we drank more there than I did when I was with the other company. Although I didn't travel as much, I was with a class of people that, let's face it, I migrated to them.

Because I searched out the ones that drank. The ones that didn't drink, I didn't want to have anything to do with those folks. And I noticed in my drinking patterns that I always went to the bars that was the least of the places that you wouldn't want to go. And I often asked myself, why did I go to these places? Well, I know now why I went to those places. Because it gave me a feeling of being superior to them. I could look down and they looked up to me. And I stayed with this company for about ten years and all this time I was drinking heavily and then I went into the private practice of law in DeKalb County, Georgia.

And after about two years I had more time. You know, there's one thing about being in business for yourself. You have more time. At least I made more time. And if I kept on doing what I was doing, I'd have made some time. Because I was continuously late for court. I was continuously absent for appointments. I know one morning I told my secretary to call, well, the court called and says, he wanted to know where I was. And I told him to tell the court that I was in court.

And Judge Pye, who was a very cranky old fellow who was sitting on the bench, said, tell B.J. this is the court. So I eased on down and I realized I was getting in trouble, getting in serious trouble. I had bloomed up to where I weighed about 235 pounds. I began to feel bad. I had two children by marriage at that time. And I could not have any communication with my children. I did not feel as though I could communicate with my children.

[00:10:20]

And certainly they could not communicate with me because the wavelength which I was operating upon was totally different from that which they were operating upon. My primary purpose at that time was to stay drunk. And I would go to any length to do that. I recall on many occasions that I would send my family out of town on vacation to Florida, only so that I could stay at home by myself and drink and not be interrupted.

One of the things that bothers me most today is on one occasion when I was under the influence of alcohol to the extent that I was in a blackout, I'm told that I chased my children out of our home with a shotgun. These are the pains that I remember. But the more I remember today, the better I feel because I'm free of alcohol today by the grace of God and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I proceeded to drink this way. And then I went to the doctor one day. I had to take a physical. And John, you know, once you get past 40 years of age and apply for insurance, these insurance companies are funny as hell. They want you to take a physical. Well, I went to the doctor and he examined me and of course I was shaking.

And he took my blood pressure and he said, BJ, are you under any pressure or any anxiety? I said, no, not that I think of. He said, are you drinking any liquor? And for some reason at that moment I had a passing moment of honesty. I said, I'm drinking a crowd of liquor. He said, how much? I said, a quarter of a night. He said, your blood pressure is out of sight. You're about to have a stroke. About to have a stroke.

And I was sweating. I can recall the sweats, all the sweats that I went through. I went down one morning and I was talking to the assistant district attorney and I was sitting there sweating and it was in March. And I was sitting there just sweating and he said, BJ, what's the matter with you? I said, oh, I must have the flu or something. He said, I had it too, but I never had it spelled that way. But I was forgiven and they were very good to me. And, you know, we all have our keepers in the program. But getting back to the main stream, my doctor says, you must quit drinking.

And you know how it is when somebody says, you must quit drinking. Oh, my God, the thought went to my head. What am I going to do? I went home and for two weeks I just absolutely went through torment. I went through absolute torment. I didn't know what to do. I tried to quit drinking. And then after two weeks I had to find out some way, some way that I could drink. So I invited one of my sisters and her husband over for dinner and we were sitting there and I told them, I said, I think I'll go down and get me just enough to have one drink. Now, we've all heard that story. So I went down and I got me a filth. I normally got a filth.

And I came back and I went into a blackout. I don't think that I, after a number of years, I don't think that I would drink without having a blackout. And the next morning I awakened and my face was all swollen again. I was shaking again and I went into the kitchen and I sat down at the table trying to drink a cup of coffee and there were tears in my eyes. And I have a brother-in-law that's in this fellowship. He still lives in the big town of Cochran, Georgia. And he and my sister had visited me on many occasions and had talked with me about my drinking because he was in AA. And every time I visited them they kept all that literature laying around, you know.

And I'd pick it up and I'd throw it down and I'd pick it up and throw it down. But anyway, that Sunday morning, and it wasn't a coincidence that he called. He called and said, how you doing? I said, I'm not doing well at all. I told him that I had been trying to stop drinking. He said, well, we'd like to invite you to a meeting. I said, what kind of meeting? He said, a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I said, where will it be held? He said, in Cochran.

I said, well, you know, ego set back in. I said, well, I'll come down and do what I can for you. So I went down to Cochran, Georgia the following Saturday night and I sat there and I listened as a man told his story. And the only difference between his story and my story was the individuals. …was the individuals.

[00:15:00]

But some of the things that had happened to this man, Dick, had not happened to me. Of course, I felt real proud of that. And I went up to Dick after the meeting, I said, Dick, so many of the things that you said I identify with, but some of the things that's happened to you has never happened to me. And he responded with one little simple word, Yet. So I went back out to my brother-in-law's house and I sat there in the den and I had about twelve people that I went to school with and we sat there until about three or four o'clock in the morning and I was twelve-stepped by twelve people for twelve hours.

But the following, when I got up the next day, I told my brother-in-law, I said, I'd like to try to get this program. So I drove back to Atlanta, to Decatur, rather. Atlanta's a suburb of Decatur. And I went to an AA meeting. I didn't go with anyone but by myself. And I got there and there was a group of people and I listened to the speaker and I picked up a white chip and I started this program of trying to stay sober one day at a time.

And they said you go to ninety meetings in ninety days and that's what I did. And I'd been in the program some nine months and then my sponsor, whom a lot of you know, called me and says, they're having a convention in Denver, Colorado. He says, I think you should go. I said, wait a minute, I can't get away. He says, there's no way in the world I can get away to go to Denver. He said, you're not so damn important.

My secretary, who also is my sister in my law office, before I knew it had made reservations and I was on a plane and before I knew it I was in O'Hara Airport in Chicago trying to catch another plane. And I went to Denver to that convention in 1975. One of the strange things that happened to me there, as I can recall, is I got to that motel room and put us way out there on the edge of town and got to that motel room on the top floor and the first thing I thought of when I walked in the door, I don't have any ice.

And I said, you idiot, that's what you're here for is to try to stay sober. So I immediately took me a shower and I got dressed and went downstairs and caught a bus to town and it was loaded with Canadians. Are you familiar with these Canadians? Now, brother, they are some good A.A. And I stayed with those people all through that convention in Denver and I'd get there every afternoon and listen to the speakers.

I got next to A.A. or A.A. got next to me. And I recall so vividly that I'd get there early in the evening so I could get me a seat next to the aisle because I watched the people from all over the world file in there. And as I looked upon the face, I could see in the faces the hurt that they had shared, the hurt that they had felt. And I had felt the same hurt. I could see the wrinkles in their face caused by the drinking and the hurt.

But I could see something even more revealing to me and that was the look in their eyes. I could see in their eyes a sense of freedom, a sense of serenity, a sense of well-being, a sense of love that came there as a result of this fellowship, the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I came away from that convention with a new feeling, a new hope. And that hope carried me through. And bless cake, when I got back home, my sponsor calls and says, we're going to the state convention.

I said, well, all you folks do is go to conventions. I said, I got to practice law. He said, well, you drink liquor all the time. You don't make a difference. So I went to the state convention and I met an old man at the state convention named Squire J. from South Carolina. And Squire and I were having breakfast one morning and Squire was telling me his stories and I was telling him mine. All of a sudden, I felt a tug at my right arm, Bernie.

And this fellow said, I couldn't help but overhear what you were talking about. I said, can I join you? He was reeking with alcohol, hadn't shaved, hadn't bathed, you know, and his clothes were dirty. That's what I did before I got in this fellowship. And he began to talk with us and we talked with him and I invited him to attend that meeting that Saturday night in Augusta, Georgia. And I gave him my room number and asked could he get there about a quarter to eight and I'd take him to the meeting.

Well, I waited as long as I could and he did not appear, so I went on to the meeting. There were about 1,200 people such as in this room here today. About 8.30, I looked up in front of me and there was this giant of a man. He had shaven. He'd taken a bath and he had on clean clothes. And he looked down at us. He said, I found you, didn't I? I said, yeah, you did. And we sat there for the rest of the meeting and a lady from Florida was talking that night, Miriam from Miami.

And after the meeting, I carried him around and introduced him to some of the people from his hometown who he was surprised was in this fellowship. He understood then the word anonymous.

[00:20:02]

And after some 30 days, he called me. He said he's still sober. And after some six months, he called me. And we corresponded as we do today. At the end of the year, he called me and asked me if I would talk at his first birthday to which I responded gladly. But that's the way Alcoholics Anonymous works. When it says when the hand of one reaches out, we'll be there. His hand reached out that day just as my brother-in-law's hand reached out.

And since I've been in this fellowship, I've experienced such great and glorious things, not the least of which was a divorce. You know, all the time that I was drinking, I thought we had no communication. I thought when I got sober, everything would be all right. But once I got sober, I found out she didn't like it. And she didn't go to Al-Anon. So as a result of that, the marriage ceased and I have since remarried.

And I'm married to a beautiful girl who is in this fellowship. And we go to meetings together and not many discussion meetings because we can't discuss, you know, too much. But we go to discussion meetings and we pair off in different groups because sometimes she don't agree with me and that causes problems. So we just pair off in different groups so she can tell how she feels and I won't have to disagree with her because I don't like her to know that sometimes she may be right.

See, I've got a long way to go in this fellowship. I've got a lot to learn because it's a day at a time. And as I go to each meeting, I always learn something. I always learn something. I learned that when I have a resentment, I can't hold on to it. And I've had some resentments. I had a law associate that put me in some bad jams and I had some resentments against him and I had to talk to my sponsor and talk to everyone in the fellowship that I could meet about this.

And the only way I could get rid of this resentment was talking about it because it didn't hurt him at all. And I was taught also in this program that I can't hang on to this inflated ego. And the only time my ego gets inflated is when I myself inflate it. I realize now that I'm just a pimple on time. I'm just a child of God and he's put me here to do his will. I'm no preacher, but I'm just a layman.

I'm just an alcoholic trying to recover today. And I've learned that I've been granted, as the big book says, a daily reprieve from alcohol, conditioned on one thing that I abstain from drinking today. But trying to stop drinking one day at a time is the hardest thing I ever did in my life because the compulsion to drink, the compulsion to drink is always there. It's always there. And I've learned that there's a new meaning to me of the word love.

The word love. One of my good friends is going to be talking to you. He came up to me a while ago and says, Remember, we love you. That's the most thrilling experience I can have is for someone to say, I love you. And I understand now in this fellowship and I feel in this fellowship what it means when I say the only way we can keep it is give it away. And that's the same with love. I cannot give you any love if I don't have any love.

And I can't love you unless I love myself. And the feelings that I had when I was operating as a practicing alcoholic was that I did not love myself. I had no self-esteem. None whatsoever. I had no self-worth because I did not in my own mind think that I deserved any self-worth. I had nothing but twisted alcoholic thinking. But I was taught in this fellowship that you can't give up. You must keep on.

You must go to meetings. You must keep on trying. And it reminds me of a story I heard once about some of the famous people in this country that never gave up. Take Robert Fulton who invented the steam engine. He never gave up. Take Thomas Edison who time after time after time he strived to invent the incandescent light and finally after 600 and something failures he was successful. He never gave up.

Elias Howe, he never gave up. And Bernie, you remember Isidore MacFerg? He gave up. See, we remember those people who didn't give up.

[00:25:00]

And that's the reason in this fellowship they said latch on to the winners because those are the people who didn't give up. John B sitting here, he didn't give up. He didn't give up. Carolyn sitting here, I've been knowing her for years now. She didn't give up. And as a result of those people not giving up in loving me, they loved me back to sobriety. And when I see a drunk today, something happens in my heart.

When I get a call for a 12-step work today, something happens in my heart because it's an opportunity to repay to someone else what you in this fellowship did for me because you cared for me when I didn't care for myself. You loved me when I didn't love myself. You nurtured me back to sanity. And it all hinges around the most basic of principles called the 12 steps. The hardest thing I ever had to do was say I'm an alcoholic.

My life is unmanageable. But when I reflected upon that, I knew that my life was unmanageable. But it was only so as a result of the drinking which I was doing. And when I talked to my sponsor about returning me or restoring me to sanity, I said, I'm not crazy. I haven't been adjudicated insane. He said, if you wasn't crazy, why would you do the things you do? Why would you continue to get drunk? Why would you continue to have wrecks?

Why would you continue to do these things? And I got to thinking about it. I said, you know, maybe I am insane when I'm drinking. Or maybe my drinking is just an outward sign of an inward problem. Maybe that's the way it manifests itself. As a result of that, I could cope with the second step. And then when it came to the part where it says, turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him, I wasn't willing to turn my life over to God.

I was only willing up until that time to turn it over to alcohol. But I wasn't doing such a good job of myself, so I said, maybe I should try a new way. And it said, turn it over to the care of God. But this word, God, gave me some problems, because I have been reared in the Protestant faith, and everything I ever heard about God was, He's going to get you. The boogeyman is going to get you. And God held a connotation to me that indicated punishment.

So one night at the Stone Mountain meeting, I was sitting there, and I was talking to this little fellow who had been in the fellowship by 22 years, and I said, Eddie, how about this God business? He said, you've got to get your own. I said, you mean that's it? He said, yeah. And as a result of that, I became closer to a God of my understanding, because I came as a result of the big book and the meetings that I went to in this fellowship to have an understanding with a God that wasn't punishment.

It was a God of love. It was a God of love. And when it came to the portion of making a searching and fearless moral inventory, that was painful. I made the first one, and I left out a lot of it. And I made the second one. And it went on. And then when it came to that portion of the 12 steps where it says, admit it to God, to ourselves, another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs, the first person and the hardest person for me to admit it to was myself.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:32:24]

This to everyone, to God, to everyone else, but then I could not feel comfortable with it because I had failed to make it known to myself. I had not admitted to myself. I had to forgive B.J., and until such time as I did forgive myself, I was not making much progress. But as a result of some old winners who wouldn't quit, who had the time and took the time to sit down and talk with me, I was able to understand that while I was a good bad example, I wasn't so bad that I couldn't forgive myself. And that once I forgave myself, then I could feel that others could forgive me. In other words, I found out as a result of this that everything starts with me. And then it says, humbly ask him to renew our shortcomings. Well, humility is something that I have always been deficient in, or had always been deficient in, because I, in my days of operating as an alcoholic, felt that I was self-sufficient, that I could do all things. I could say, suffer little children coming to me. And so humility was not one of my biggest assets. But as again, I went to my old-timers, the winners, and I talked with them about this. And they explained to me that being humble does not mean that you have to get on your knees. Just being willing, willing, willing, willing to try, not to put God behind me, but to ask for that help from a God who understands me. And then one of the most important steps in my life, in my road to recovery, is the tenth step. I call it the daily cleansing step, which says continue to take personal inventory, and when I am wrong, promptly admit it. I find that if I have a quarrel with one of my associates, if I have a quarrel with my wife, if I have a quarrel with anyone until I make some amends where I think that I was overbearing, or I was too strong in my position, or my ego was running away, or my self-will was running

[00:35:03]

riot, until I make amends for that, then I have not had a good day. But once I do that, and then I forgive myself, then I can lay down at night. And as I do, as I lay down at the close of each evening now, I thank God for what he's given me, and I thank God for what he's taken away from me. And I thank God for what he's left me, because he's left me with sobriety. Sobriety that's not projected into the future, but sobriety which is present today. You know, I heard a story that says the two most exasperating and frustrating days of a person's life is yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday with its failures and its disappointments, and tomorrow with its apprehension and uncertainty. But the most important today in a person's life is today. It can be equated to the fact that yesterday is a canceled check. It's already negotiated. Tomorrow is a promissory note. It's only something that we have promise of, not guaranteed. Today is ready cash. I must spend it wisely. I must spend it in tune with this fellowship, with the principles that set down, the principles that I know, the tools that you have given me to work with to maintain my sobriety, because without these, I will have trouble. And this is evident because not too long ago, I was having some frustration and some desperation, some apprehension because I was not attending the number of meetings that I should have attended. So I went to my physician and blessed hold. I started rationalizing and he prescribed for me some little pellets. Pellets. Some people call them pills. I didn't know anything about them because I never took a pill in my life. And I found out a little bit about these things and I quickly got to a place where I could get educated. I went to John Mooney and talked with him in Statesboro and stayed there until I got educated on these, I call them pills. Up in our part of the country, they don't talk about pills very much, but I quickly learned it doesn't make any difference whether you drink your liquor or you eat it.

It has the same results. And bless John Mooney's heart, those of you who know him, he's doing a great work down in Statesboro, Georgia. Because, and I think that we in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous have a responsibility to talk about these pills, these mood-changing drugs. Because our doctors, while they mean well, they mean well. They're dangerous. They're dangerous. I see more doctors in this fellowship than I've ever seen before. And I see more lawyers in this fellowship than I've seen before. And I see more lawyers coming at me talking to me about, they intellectualize about drinking. And I say, well, they told me, the old timers told me that no one's ever been too dumb to get this program. But we've had some in here that's been too smart to get it. They got my attention. But this fellowship has saved my life. I've had some bad days, don't get me wrong. I have some bad days now.

Up in my part of the country, we've been, I see you all going through a political thing now down here. We just went through that, and I just got involved in a political campaign, not mine, someone else's. And, of course, it was anti-encumbered time up there, and everybody got dumped out, including my candidate. But that was the way it was supposed to be. Someone asked me what I thought about it. I said, I can only respond with that, with a serenity prayer, because the people had spoken, and I could not go against that. That was something that I could not change. And God had granted me the wisdom to know that I could not change it. You don't know how much I've enjoyed being here with you. You don't know how much I've enjoyed seeing my friends here in this Florida convention. I feel like I'm at home, really. And looking over this room, it reminds me of a cold winter night in Decatur at one of our meetings. You know, we have a good group. We have large attendance. But I'd like to share with you, in closing, a poem which has come so much to mean so much to me. I send it to a lot of people because we in Alcoholics Anonymous

[00:40:02]

have, we've hurt. We've hurt something great. But you know, trouble and hurt are an alcoholic's best friend, because it's only by trouble and hurting that we get here, because we look for something better. And this is a better way of life, living the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous a day at a time. A poem speaks to humans who hurt. I've dreamed many dreams that never came true. I've seen them vanish at dawn. But I've realized enough of my dreams, thank God, to make me want to dream on. I've prayed many prayers when no answer came, though I waited patient and long. But answers came to enough of my prayers to make me keep praying on. I've trusted many a friend that failed and left me to weep alone. But I've found enough of my friend's true blue to make me keep trusting on. I've sown some seeds that fell by the way for the birds to feed upon. But I've held enough gold and sheaves in my hand to make me keep sowing on. I've drained the cup of disappointment and pain and gone many days without song. But I've sipped enough nectar from the roses of life to make me want to live on. Thank you and God bless you.

Comment on what was said. Thank you is enough. And I just want to say thank you, B.J., and thank you, God, for B.J. That's no comment. And with this, we close with the Lord's Prayer. I'm always throwing a little hand jive to run the feeling through. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.

Amen. Keep coming. Thank you, B.J., and God bless you, B.J., and B.J., and B.J., and B.J., and B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., BJ, B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J., B.J. Anonymous,

[00:46:21]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. Okay. Is

[00:50:00]

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[00:55:02]

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[01:00:03]

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