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Source: DICOBE-00371 – Don N – 22ND CROSSROADS DINNER – 1982-11-05.mp3 File: dicobe-00371-don-n-22nd-crossroads-dinner-1982-11-05.mp3 Duration: 00:35:23
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It is now my pleasure to introduce our first speaker of the evening, and I've had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with him. He is indeed an outstanding American. Ladies and gentlemen, we are fortunate to have with us an outstanding American. Mr. Don N. is known across the country as the person who has come to grips with some of the basic issues of life. Don was one of the first black men in Major League Baseball.
In 1946, Jackie Robinson, Roy Campanella, and Don N. started the process that helped make baseball the sport for all Americans. But Don was not just a player, he was a winner. He was the only player in Major League history to receive these awards. Rookie of the Year, Most Valuable Player in the National League, and the Cy Young Award, which when Don won it was for the best pitcher in both leagues.
He won more than 140 Major League games, pitched in three World Series, played in five All-Star games, and is considered by many baseball experts as one of the greatest pitchers in the history of the game. There's another side of Don N., though, and it is almost ironic that while Don was able to throw fastballs at opposing batters and strike out the best in baseball at that time, something else struck Don N. out.
That something was alcohol. Don will tell you in a few moments about what alcohol did in his life. Today, he is an advisor to the White House on alcoholism and a consultant to all of the baseball world on alcoholism. Don N. has spent the last several years working for the government, traveling hundreds of miles around the country to inform people, especially young people, about alcohol problems.
And you can believe that Don N. is concerned. He is with us today because he cares. We are indeed fortunate to have a man who has risen to the top, then been thrust to the bottom, then pulled himself back up again. He is here to share that experience with us. Would you welcome Mr. Don N.? My, my. Thank you very much, Roy, and ladies and gentlemen. And, Roy, I like that introduction because my wife wrote it.
And some of the things you say are true and some are not so true, but she doesn't always tell the truth about me anyhow. But that's neither here nor there either. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to say and echo what Roy has just said about how happy I am from my perspective in seeing so many people here tonight to pay tribute to a great organization, Crossroads, who is giving so much of themselves to help people like me and some of you in this audience.
To have so many people come out tonight and pay the amounts of money that you paid to be here. Bill and Roy, you know, try to, they tried to butter me up and to make me believe that you came and paid that money to hear me. But how many of you came to really hear me tonight? How many came to hear me? Not many, not many. There wasn't many hands, but anyhow, it's nice to be here. You know, ladies and gentlemen, I'm a grateful, believe me, I want to emphasize again, grateful, recovering alcoholic.
I remember years ago I would not have said that. I wouldn't have said that to five people in the room, much less 500. Believe me, I'm very comfortable in saying that now. I'm very happy to be able to say it. My wife, Billy, in Los Angeles, California, is very happy to hear me say it. Because 16 years ago, she said some things to me that I didn't like to hear, but they were factual, I find out now. I remember her saying to me, you're nothing but a bum and you're nothing but an alcoholic.
And I said, well, how do you know I'm an alcoholic? You don't even drink. I said, that's not a medical diagnosis, that's only your opinion, so I'd go out and get drunk again. That was my excuse for going out to get drunk again. But tonight I'm very happy to be able to say, as I've said now for the last 16 years and the nights that I've enjoyed my life, that I've enjoyed my sanity and my happiness with my family, with the people that I hold close to me now.
I have inside that realm of life of mine, that life that was in shambles 16 years ago and there backwards. But to be able to tell people that I'm happy, very grateful, recovering alcoholic, and I've got my life back on the right track now. I wish you could get inside Don N. to find out just what he's talking about, if you could just feel how good he feels inside. And if my words and the feeling in my words will express that to you, I want you to know how good it makes me feel.
And if some of you in this audience have experienced the same happiness that I am experiencing right now, that's what it's all about. I remember back 16 years ago when I was on the brink of despair, when my wife was standing in our living room in Los Angeles, California,
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where we had moved from New Jersey at that point in time in 1965, 66. Some of these things are fuzzy in my mind now because I really don't remember some of them. I was functioning, but I was not remembering a lot of things. But I remember very vividly in 1966 my wife, Billy, waking me up one morning and telling me that she was going to divorce me. And she was divorcing me because of my drinking. She was divorcing me because she could not stand me when I drank.
She said, Don, I have to get away from you because I cannot stand living with you because you're such an animal when you drink. You're a wonderful man when you're sober, but that's very seldom now. Very seldom are you sober. You go to the golf course to play golf with your friends, Joe Lewis and Chivalry Robinson and Billy Eckstein and Harry Mills of the Mills Brothers and Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye and Jim Brown and Bill Russell.
All these men are your friends. You're playing golf with them and you're enjoying yourself playing golf with them. They're enjoying being with you, I think. But then you come home and you come home drunk. I wonder if they go home drunk. And I began to take a close analysis of my friends and I found out that they didn't go home drunk. They went home, but they went home to their families. Don N. was the only one going home drunk.
And they began to disassociate themselves from me and say, Don, we don't really want to be around you because of the way you act when you drink. I began to get a whisper. I began to get an understanding of what Billy was talking about when she said to me, Don, I can't live with you. I can't be around you when you drink. She said to me, and I shall never forget it, I gave you a son. You, like Jackie Robinson and Roy Campanella and Duke Snyder and all those great Dodgers of the past, wanted a son.
She said, in your first marriage of 13 years, you didn't have a son. I knew when I married you how badly you wanted a son, and I gave you Don Jr. And he's four years old now, and he's looking up at you with those tears in his eyes, and he's saying with those tears, Daddy, why is it you're doing this to us? What did I do wrong, Daddy? Tell me, Daddy. Tell me, Daddy. Mommy told me that you wanted me, and she gave you to me, or gave me to you.
And now you're getting ready to let Mom walk out that door, Daddy. I think that's what those little teary eyes were telling me with a four-year-old boy, ladies and gentlemen. I remember them very vividly today as if it were yesterday. My little son now, who's a big man now, he's 20 years old, and he's growing up to be 6'3 now and 200 pounds, so I don't think he'll be crying much anymore as far as my drinking's concerned, but I remember those eyes, and I shall never forget them.
I was telling Roy Mason over at the hotel, over at my room in the hotel here, that I also remember a picture that remains in Delaby and printed in my mind, a picture that I shall never forget the sight of. I tore the picture up that morning when Billy handed it to me and said, I want you to look at something, mister. I want you to see what those big ugly hands have done to my face. That's what I was doing, ladies and gentlemen, that same man that Roy introduced you a moment ago.
He was assaulting and abusing this beautiful woman that gave him this son and another son and a daughter because he could not and would not stop drinking. He was controlled by a substance that he didn't even know how to handle. And when she showed me that picture, I think I broke down and cried. I said, my God, Billy, I can't be this bad. What's wrong with me? And she said, Don, I've been trying to tell you for six years of our marriage now, it's your drinking.
And if you don't stop drinking, I'm going to leave. The cab is waiting outside, and I'm going to leave you. Ladies and gentlemen, this same baseball player that Roy Mason introduced you had gone to such depths of despair that I had put my World Series championship ring in a pawn shop to gamble and drink, a diamond wristwatch that Sammy Davis Jr.'s uncle gave me in a pawn shop in order to drink and gamble.
That's the depths of despair that this same rookie of the year, the Cy Young Award, the Most Valuable Player Award, some years ago had gotten himself into. That's the level of life alcohol had taken me, Don N. Is there any wonder why you see me here tonight and why I'm so happy? I'm not going to a pawn shop anymore. I'm not going to ever go to a pawn shop again. Maybe to buy something, but not to pawn something.
If gamblers bet on that, if you want to win, a sure bet, bet that Don N. will ever go to the pawn shop again to pawn his World Series ring. And I thank God for the Dodgers who got this ring out of the pawn shop, and the owner of the club gave it back to me when I went to work for him 12 years ago as his director of community relations, which I still function in today. But to get back to Billy, in my remembering, that picture,
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that picture that's indelibly imprinted in my mind. And ladies and gentlemen, I got on my knees that morning. I put my hand on the head of that little four-year-old boy, Don Jr., and I said to God, I said, God, if you're out there somewhere, I've never asked you for anything, God. And if you gave me anything, I probably didn't say thank you. I didn't know enough to say thank you. I was too ignorant even, too engrossed in my own misery, I guess, or my own successes for what they were.
And I just wasn't paying attention to God. And I said, God, if you're there now, and Billy says you are, you help me to get up off my knees. And I swore to God on my knees that morning with my hand on the head of my little son, God, if you get me off my knees, I promise you I'll never drink another drop of alcohol as long as you give me a breath on this earth. And there again, if you're gamblers, and if you want to bet, you bet that Don N. will never drink alcohol again.
Ladies and gentlemen, I hold in my hand a little thimble. This little thimble is a constant reminder to me. Many of us in the great club Alcoholics Anonymous carry coins or chips or whatever, but this is my reminder, this little thimble right here. That little thimble, after 16 years, is a constant reminder to me that I, Don N., 6'4", 240 pounds, a former athlete, can never even drink this little thimble full of beer again.
After 16 years of happiness, Billy and I and our babies, if I drank that little thimble full of beer and Billy saw it, he would immediately divorce me, ladies and gentlemen. How serious can it be? How much game-playing do we involve ourselves in in our thinking? What are our attitudes? What do we think about alcohol? Why do we, as an American society, play so many games with it? What does it do to people that for a 6'4", 240-pound man, he can't even drink a little thimble full of beer anymore in his entire life?
Well, I've come to grips with that. I've come to grips with it in my life, and I'll guarantee you, under no circumstances will I ever drink that thimble full of beer again. And I'll guarantee you something else. I finally, I believe, after many years of hoping that it would happen, I finally have the love of my wife back again. Ladies and gentlemen, to show you how, for those of you who have never lived this kind of life, as some of us in this room have lived, eight years after I stopped drinking, 1966 to 1974, very few points in time Billy would ever tell me that she loved me in that eight-year period.
Or she superficially would say the words when certain things came about. Some of you will understand what I'm talking about, I hope. But in a very real sense, a very real meaningful sense, she would not say it with the feeling that she says it now, without these things happening that don't need to happen. Can you understand what I'm talking about? These things don't have to happen in order for her to tell me that now, because now she believes her man.
She believes her man, and she loves her man now. Is there any reason for you to think that I'm going to play games with it now, and even attempting to think that I can drink this little thimble full of beer again? I've got my family back. I've got a social life with my wife and my friends. Let me tell you, in Alcoholics Anonymous, there's an eight-step in our 12-step program. Make a list of people you hurt and make amends.
I'm going to give you an example, and it may appear funny to some of you. It really was funny to me when I did it, but it's going to also prove funny to you, and show you how crazy we are when we are in the depths of despair that we're in when we're so ensconced by alcohol and its abuses. Way back in 1959, in Los Angeles, California, I was out there after the baseball season was over and playing golf with these friends that I named and others.
Jim Brown, this famous football player with the Cleveland Browns, came to Los Angeles to play in an all-pro football game. The night before, at a friend of ours' house, my vodka told me to challenge Jim Brown to a golf game the next day. Now, between my vodka and my thinking I had a good golf game, with very little money in my pocket, I thought that I could beat this guy. My pocket, I thought that I could beat this great football player playing golf.
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Now you gotta have a lot of nerve to do that if you can picture Jim Brown in your mind. Some of you remember Jim Brown as the great football player that he was. Well, I challenged Jim Brown to a golf game and we were going to bet $100. I went to the golf course with about $58, $60, maybe $62 in my pocket. Now you talk about guts, you go out there and bet Jim Brown $100, you only got $60 in your pocket.
Well, my vodka and my game, that golf game of mine, told me to do it. Well, I got beat. I wound up owing Jim Brown $38, 1959. Now, Jim Brown got mad, he got terribly mad, he said, you got the nerve to embarrass me before a football game and at a party in front of all those people talking about your golf game and how great you were and how bad you were going to beat me, and now you come out here and you don't have enough money to pay me after you lose.
And I made myself an enemy. Alright, years went by. Jim Brown said he forgot about the debt, but 1980 came about, two years ago. I was on a golf course in Los Angeles, California, and I ran into Jim Brown and Bill Russell, who was playing a different part of the golf course. I was playing one part, they were playing another part, and I walked over to Jim Brown, and I said, Jim, let me say something to you.
I said, I haven't seen you in a long time, and you and I have a little debt to settle. Now, right away, Jim Brown backed off like he thought I was going to become physical. I was sober at that time, and I wasn't that crazy any longer, you see. I said to Jim, I said, Jim, do you remember in 1959 when I walked up a golf course owing you $38? He said, Don, I've forgotten all about that. That's gone. Forget about it.
I said, no, Jim, I haven't forgotten about it. I said, I happen to belong now to a club called Alcoholics Anonymous. One of our steps is to make amends with people that we've hurt. And I felt that I hurt you. I not only hurt you, I hurt myself. I hurt a whole lot of people in the things that I've done in my life, Jim, with drinking. And I don't want to hurt people anymore, and I still have this on my mind that I owe you this $38.
Now, I reached into my pocket, and I pulled out a $50 bill, and I said, now, you keep the $12 as interest. I don't know what your interest rates are, but keep the $12 as interest. And ladies and gentlemen, you know what Jim Brown said to me, this famous athlete, this famous movie star? He said, Don, I don't know what brought you to me today, but you must know I need this money. You must know I need this money, he said to me, and I shall always remember that.
I don't know what his financial situation was. I don't know why he said those words, but I had a friend back again. I had a friend back because I had made amends. I had not forgotten, and I owed him something. And it made me feel better. Thank God that Jim Brown didn't get mad. I might not have felt so good, you see. But this is a part of our restructuring our social lives, I think. At least it was with Don N.
I have that back now. I still play golf with Billy Eckstine. I still play golf with Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye and some of those men who are still alive and still able to play golf. We're still friends now, and they enjoy playing with me in addition to Jim Brown. We enjoy being around you now, Don, because you're a gentleman. And yes, my golf game has gotten better, too, since I stopped drinking.
I want you to know that. Legally, ladies and gentlemen, when Don N. was drinking, he was always in trouble. Always in trouble because of drinking. Now, in the last 16 years, well, in 16 years, I haven't had a need for a lawyer in 7 of those 16 years. I haven't been picked up in 16 years for drunk driving. Obviously not. You know, I don't drink anymore, John. So I don't have to worry about going to jail anymore for drunk driving.
You talk about the transformation that takes place in the person. I think that's what it's all about, how they become an integral part of society. How they can do something to help their fellow man. How they can do something to make people proud of them. Some of those same people who might have been proud of a Don N. on the baseball field now might be infinitely more proud of me because of what I'm doing now.
I know I'm more proud of myself than what I did in the baseball arena. I'm more proud now. I'm more content with myself. I'm more, well, I'm more in control of Don N. now. I'm proud of Don N., if I can say that, without pinning a rose on my lapel. I'm proud now because I know what I'm doing. I'm proud now because I've gotten my financial situation back together again now. I'm not going to the porn shop.
Billie's not sleeping on the floor. She has food in the icebox now. Why does all this come about? For one very specific reason, that Don N. does not drink alcohol any longer. Those were the reasons for, well, that was the reason for my problems. The drinking of alcohol, and I didn't even know it. I remember very vividly now after Billie reminded me of it.
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I remember going home one day in New Jersey a month before we moved to California from New Jersey. She said I came home and I walked into the kitchen where she was feeding two of the little babies, Tony and Kelly. Don was upstairs asleep. She said I stood there and glared at her. I said to her these words. I said, and I'm not going to use the language that she said I used, but you draw your own conclusions about the language that I used.
I'm going upstairs and I'm coming down every hour and I'm going to beat you up. But I didn't say those words to her in that context. She thought I was insane, which I was. She said you went upstairs and every hour on the hour you came downstairs for the next three hours. And every time I heard you coming downstairs, I'd pick up a baby and hold the baby in my arms. Maybe that was the only reason that you didn't assault me or abuse me.
And she said then, Don, I knew I had to leave you. I had to get back to California to my family so I could get away from you because you were going to kill me or the babies. Insanity, ladies and gentlemen. I've got my sanity back now. Oh, Billie still says I'm partially insane. Well, I'll be that way all my life, I guess. I can't change that. But you see, I'm telling you these things about me because I want you to know them.
I want you to know them because I'm proud in being able to talk about myself. I'm proud in being able to stand up on my two feet as a man. Where prior to my being able to stand up when I was drinking and thinking about not drinking any longer, thinking about why my problems were like they were, I was on my knees. And one very important factor has become very evident in my life now in the last oh, nine, ten years.
I've gotten in my life now, ladies and gentlemen, something that makes me feel so good. I've gotten in my life now a higher power whom I choose to call God. And those people who don't have a spiritual feeling in any sense at all in their lives, I say they're very lonely people. They're more sicker than any of us who are alcoholics in this room. Unless and until they find a God somewhere, they're going to continue to be lonely people.
You know, I do a lot of flying. I've got to catch a plane tonight going back to Los Angeles. And I can't be standing here fabricating stories about God either. You know, you get up to 35,000 feet, you know, you're closer to God than you are here on the ground, you see. I want to be able to ride that plane back to Los Angeles to my family with a feeling of being comfortable. I don't want my God to reach in that window and say, Don, you told a little tale down there tonight at that dinner, and I want to talk to you about that son.
See, I have a need for God. I found a need for God, Father, in my life. I found a need for God, and it makes me feel good. And I'm proud to be able to stand here now and tell you that. I'm very proud of that. Billy prayed for me how she prayed for me on her knees so many nights because her and God were talking about what a man I could be if I just could stop drinking. I didn't know then, but I know now.
But I didn't know then what alcohol was eventually going to do to me. Well, I was lucky. A lot of us in this room tonight are lucky. We're lucky people. We're happy, very fortunate people. Well, a major segment of that comes about because of the wonderful club that I'm now a member of. I've been now for the last nine years, Alcoholics Anonymous. How proud I am to be able to say that. Ladies and gentlemen, as I travel the country, in representing our government, which I've been doing now for nine years, I'm very dismayed about a lot of things I'm hearing and seeing.
I'm very concerned about young people and their abuse of alcohol and the mentality of society, adult society, telling our young people it's all right to drink, just don't get on drugs. You know, that worries me. Young people in the school system. Ladies and gentlemen, my people in Washington estimate that I have spoken to over three and one-half million young people in the school system in 47 states in this country.
That's a lot of young people. And in most part, these young people are telling me that my parents are saying it's all right to drink. If you're going to do something, drink alcohol, just don't get on drugs. And then I ask them a very simple question. Is alcohol a drug? And they'll say yes. I say, well, why do you drink it? They say because mom and dad said it's not as serious as other drugs. Well, I worry about that.
When Mrs. Reagan makes the statement that we are now raising a lost generation of young people, that worries me. And ladies and gentlemen, it should worry us. You in industry, you who are recovering, alcoholics like I, you who are concerned citizens, you who are in a position of authority to make some decisions about what should happen in your respective communities.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that there has to be a change in society in these United States. Somehow, somewhere about alcohol. When I read a newsletter that says we have 17 million alcoholics in these United States today, that worries me. Each one of those alcoholics affecting or infecting, I like to say, for the people in their lives. That worries me. 68 to 70 million people infected by a disease called alcoholism and we, in a major part of our society, not paying attention to it the way we should be doing.
But you approve that you're going to pay attention to it because you came out tonight and you put your money where your mouth is. That makes me proud to have been here tonight. But there's a lot of attitudes that have to be changed. I promised Roy Mason that I'd read a letter from a person that has a need for a change in attitude. I think this person needs to find a higher power somewhere. I don't know if it will ever come about, but I want to share this letter with you because I think it will then make you laugh and then I'll be finished with what I've got to say because, John, are you ready?
Where are you? Are you ready? I talked today at a luncheon. Roy Mason asked me to say a few words and John invited me up to say a few words to the people there assembled for lunch up at the Wrigley Mansion. And I talked to them about attitude, the change in attitude that many people have to endure before they will really be able to find anything meaningful and significant in dealing with this sickness.
There's a lady that I'm associated with in Los Angeles, California. Well, she's in San Diego. Her name happens to be Joan Kroc. She happens to be the owner, or at least her husband is the owner, but I think Joan is really the owner, of McDonald's Hamburgers. Now, that's a lot of hamburgers we're talking about when we talk about Joan Kroc, right? Well, Joan Kroc happens to have Operation Cork in San Diego.
I consult with her and two years ago she wrote letters to people in professional sports about the possibility of starting some programming that would deal with a change in attitude, dealing with alcohol. And she wrote letters to people like Tom Landry from the Dallas Cowboys, and he wrote a very beautiful letter back to her. She wrote letters to other people in professional sports, commissions of football and baseball and whatever.
But she got one letter back from a person that I cannot name for obvious reasons because of the fact that I might be involved in a lawsuit. And I don't want to do that, but you draw your own conclusions about who this person is. Now, he happens to be a football coach, and he coaches a football team in California, and the football team happens to be in Southern California, and they don't play at the Coliseum.
Now, remember, I got 500-plus witnesses that I did not use any names. Now, you draw your own conclusions, but here's the letter. I want you all to listen to this letter now, and then I'm going to be finished. How much time have I got? Oh, wait a minute now. Roy said, go ahead. Then when I go over and sit next to him, he's going to say, why did you run your mouth so much? We've got other speakers. Now, Roy Mason, we've got Mrs. Mason.
Watch this guy. Watch him. Let me share this letter with you, ladies and gentlemen. He writes, Dear Joan, Thank you for your interest and concern in regard to alcoholism among professional athletes. It is unfortunate that because of several cases in other sports, a judgment is made on all professional athletes. I have been associated with professional football for the past 30 years and can honestly say that I have never encountered an alcoholic problem among professional football players.
Now, get this. The intense nature of football makes it impossible to consume alcohol and participate efficiently on the practice field or in games. One of the biggest problems we have is dehydration among football players. Alcohol causes dehydration, thereby increasing the dehydration process, which can cause very serious medical problems. Is there a doctor in the house? Is this true? Well, let me continue.
Once again, the intensity, vigorousness, and athletic ability required in football makes it impossible for a pro football player to survive any length of time if he has an alcoholic problem. Your concern is deeply appreciated. Nevertheless, let's not make a problem where there isn't one. The game is tough enough. Cordially, head football coach of the team that I told you about. The team that I told you about.
Now, that's the letter that I wanted to share with the people at the luncheon this afternoon because
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I wanted them to see and hear and remember something about attitude. This person is responsible for many lives. In fact, after sending his letter out, and Joan sent it to me, about a week after I got the letter, it was in the Los Angeles Times that this famous running back with this team was locked up for the fifth time for drunk driving. And now he's achieved his sobriety, and he's now a child of God, the same running back that I'm talking about, who shall remain nameless also because of his privacy.
But believe me, ladies and gentlemen, these are some of the things that we've had to endure. I'd like to say very briefly that some of you might recall seeing a World Series a few weeks ago. It, of course, didn't involve the Dodgers, so I really didn't pay much attention to it. But to very briefly tell you this, and if John doesn't mind, I want to tell you this. You saw a young man become the most valuable player in the World Series. His name is Darrell Porter.
Some of you watched it, maybe some of you didn't watch the World Series, but those of you who did, remember. Darrell Porter came to me three years ago. Darrell Porter, the same man that you saw on television the other night in the World Series, was threatening to blow his brains out because of alcohol and drugs in his system. He told me in his spring training camp when he was with the Kansas City Royals in Fort Myers, Florida, that, Mr. N. if you don't help me tonight, I'm going to blow my brains out when I get back to the hotel.
I've had it. I can't live this life any longer. I didn't know what to do for the man because I'd only met him five minutes before that. I didn't know what to say or what to do. And this man is crying, ladies and gentlemen. The tears are coming down his cheeks. A big superstar baseball player, his hands shaking so badly, I didn't know if he was going to have a fit or what he was going to have. And I said to my God, God, now I need you again.
It seems now I'm always asking you, God, to help me with something. Well, I need you right now. Tell me what to do to help this man to keep from blowing his brains out. And I believe he means it. And, ladies and gentlemen, for the next three hours, I talked to Darryl Porter. I ran up one side, him down the other, down, up, back again. Called him all kinds of names. I wish I could use some of the languages I used, and you wouldn't appreciate it if I did.
But we got Darryl Porter here to Wickenburg, to the Meadows. And Darryl Porter became what you saw the other night on television, the most valuable player in the World Series, simply because somebody cared. Somebody gave a damn, ladies and gentlemen, about a guy named Darryl Porter. A guy like Bobby Welch, a young pitcher with the Dodgers. And I'm proud to say that these men, if they walked in this room tonight, would tell you that that guy saved my life.
And I wonder how good you think that makes me feel, to know that these are two men, in addition to others, who will tell you publicly that this man saved my life. How can I fail them now? How can I fail others that might be in need of the same help that I gave to Bobby Welch and Darryl Porter? So the inspiration that you bestow upon me tonight by being here, to show me that you care, that you can come out and hear John and I speak.
I know you didn't come to eat the chicken tonight. I know you didn't do that. Although it was a good meal, I know you didn't come to eat the chicken. You can eat chicken anywhere. You didn't have to cost you 50 bucks to eat chicken, you know. But that's how good it makes us feel when we're able to stand before an assembly of people like you here tonight and tell you how proud I am that I'm a human being again, that I've got my life back together again and I can take this happiness of mine, not zip it up in my pockets and forget about other people.
Open up my pockets. Open up my heart and my mind so I can help somebody like Bobby Welch and Darryl Porter. I think that's what it's all about. So, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to continue trying. And those of you who feel the same way that I feel, you know what I'm talking about. And those of you who don't feel the same way that I feel and have not experienced what some of us have experienced, we know that you're here.
We know that you care. And there again is another dimension to our feeling so good about our lives and being able to help somebody else. So to you, to you, I want to say, I want to clap my hands for you. I want to clap my hands because you're here and that you care. And to Roy and to the people at Crossroads for inviting me. Thanks to you all. Ladies and gentlemen, God bless all of you. Now I'd like to say something before I close.
For those of you who know what I'm talking about, I always like to close my talk with a prayer. We call it in AA the serenity prayer. Those of you who would like to, will you say it with me in the privacy of your area?
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.