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Source: Unidentified Historical Recording – Fellowship Review Recording 830 – Date Unknown.mp3 File: wally-p-wally-p-recovery-story-and-ca-history-ca-2010-archive-830.mp3 Duration: 00:49:09
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Woo! My name is Wally and I'm a member of Cocaine Anonymous. Hi everybody, and by the grace of God, in this simple program, I've not found it necessary to take a drug since October 30th of 1988, and for that I'm truly, truly grateful, one day at a time. It's been an exciting last couple of days, I'm honored to be here, I'm honored to see so many people living the fellowship of the spirit. And I first want to start by thanking the host committee, Steve and Pam for putting me up at their home, and Bill for being the coordinator to make all this happen.
And especially Johnny and the people that helped put this wonderful meal together tonight. Let's give them a hand. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All those people behind the scenes who made all of this happen. We got here at 10.30 this morning and I heard that Johnny was here at 8 o'clock this morning firing up the barbecue. Wow, talk about a commitment to serving others. And I got a chance to meet several of the people from the Welcome House, I'm hoping I don't forget to talk about the Welcome House as part of my story.
And I'm grateful for all the people that have come both near and far to also share in this miracle of recovery. Because I do believe in singleness of purpose, I'll keep my story primarily having to do with cocaine, but I'm also an archivist historian. And I know that in the early days when they shared from the podium, it was based on 10.10.40 format, 10 minutes of what it was like, 10 minutes of what happened, and 40 minutes how God and the steps changed their lives.
And if a person didn't have 40 minutes to share on how God and the steps changed their lives, they did not share at a meeting, at the podium. Forty minutes of how God and the steps changed your life. So that's where I'm coming from and that's where I'm going to. I do want to just mention in terms of my past that I'm a Vietnam veteran. I was in the war from 1967 through 1969. Part of my story in terms of my trip into the darkness was primarily as a result of Vietnam.
First of all, I blamed God for the war. So from then on, there was no God in my life whatsoever. I became a devout, total non-believer. Also, I fully expected to die in Vietnam and one day I'm walking in a South Vietnamese village and this guy comes out of the crowd with a gun and he puts it in the chest of the guy standing next to me, a South Vietnamese sergeant, and pulls the trigger and I watch him fall and die right at my feet.
Then he puts the gun in my chest and I look at him and he looks at me and I'm waiting for the end and it doesn't happen. He lifts the gun up and goes back into the crowd. Some of my Army buds came over and actually I was a Navy Seabee, but I worked a lot with the Army. I worked a lot with the Marines, trying to build a road into Khe Sanh to relieve the Marines that were stranded there. They came up and they said, my God, we just witnessed a miracle.
God is really looking out for you and I said, looking out for me, hell no. I wanted to die. I wanted this to be over. I was already a full-blown alcoholic, I was already a full-blown addict, addicted to opium at the time and I wanted the end to come. They just go shaking their heads, oh my God, another nutcase from out of the bush. They went on about their way and I hated God for this. I came back, I was a street junkie in Hollywood, California for several years.
I was able to kick the opiates, I found cocaine, took the cocaine cure for heroin addiction. Anybody else take the cocaine cure or for alcohol addiction?
[00:05:03]
I started running with people that were also cocaine addicts and I married a cocaine addict and had a little cocaine baby and it turned out to be normal, thank God. Just so that you know, my ex-wife is presently institutionalized, she has been institutionalized for five years, she didn't stop and she is brain dead, but she's a vegetable and that's where it will take you if you use it long enough. I will be seeing her Monday when I fly back to Tucson and going up to Phoenix.
My daughter is flying in from Seattle and we'll visit Cheryl in the home where she's been for five years. But in terms of my last drug or my last use of cocaine, I also do have an alcohol story, I'll try to keep that to a minimum. I'm in Scottsdale, Arizona, I've done all these geographics around the country, I've actually gone to college and gotten a couple of college degrees on cocaine, not too shabby.
Of course, I don't remember any of it. I'm a chemist that can't balance an equation with a master's degree in statistics, where did that come from? But I'm looking out the front door of the house in Scottsdale, Arizona and my wife and my daughter are getting in the car and she turns to me, my daughter is 13 at the time, and she turns to me and says, you will never see your daughter again. So I'm just standing there in my cocaine haze and just waving as my wife and my daughter drive away back to Seattle, Washington.
I turned around and looked at the house and I totally destroyed it in a cocaine rage. I don't remember any of it, but the house is destroyed and I'm the only one there that could have possibly done it. That's the last time I used cocaine. I got into alcohol pretty heavy after that and I'm going to just tell that part of the story because this came a year and a half later and I'm only using alcohol at the time and copious quantities of it.
Two things that my sponsor told me when I came into the 12-step programs was that, and this was at one year of sobriety, he sat me down and he said, Wally, I'm not going to be alive much longer, and he does pass away eight weeks later, but he said, if you remember these two things, you'll not find it necessary to take a drink for the rest of your life or a drug for the rest of your life whether I'm here or not.
One, if you don't remember your last run, you haven't taken it, and two, if you don't know where we came from, you'll never know what a miracle this program truly is. In terms of my last run, I'm imbibing on my way to Patagonia, Arizona, which is a little cowboy town up in the mountains outside of Tucson, and I'm in my parents' combination grain room and chicken coop at 7 o'clock in the morning, just imbibing.
It's just me looking down at the chickens and the chickens looking up at me and me looking down at the chickens and the chickens look up at me. I heard the voice of God speak to me through these chickens. What you probably would have heard was, pock, pock, pock, pock, pock, pock, pock, pock, pock. What I heard, this is not social using. There's something wrong with this picture. If you don't remember your last run, you haven't taken it, and it wasn't to remember the exact date and time, because most of us don't even remember the last month.
We're all in blackouts and redouts and everything else, but it was to never forget how bad it was before you got here. It's so easy for us to forget that pain and misery and suffering and the loneliness of those last days and weeks and for some of us months and maybe even years. Don't ever forget how bad it was before you got here, or you may just have another run in you. If you let your mind deceive you into thinking it really wasn't that bad, guess what?
It really was that bad. Don't ever try to minimize and rationalize those last few days and weeks.
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But I didn't come willingly, basically I came into the program to prove that I wasn't an addict, that I did not have a problem, and I went to two meetings in my first 60 days and that convinced me that I didn't have what you had. But what I've learned from this big book is an addict without a drug and an addict without a program has only restlessness, irritability, and discontentment to look forward to.
And in 60 days, I hit the wall, big time. I did call the local intergroup office and this was the day after Christmas, I missed Christmas, I missed a couple days there, three, four days. I felt like I'd been on a run, I just didn't understand the headaches, the double vision, everything that was going on, 60 days without using. And I'm stark raving mad. I'm crazy as a hoot owl. The guy at the other end of the phone said, Wally, normally we'd send two people out to see you, but it's the day after Christmas, we don't have two people, do you think you could drive to the office?
And I said, okay, and he gave me the directions and I drove down, still severe headaches and double vision. And we talked for two and a half hours and at the end, and I'm just going to modify it slightly, he said, Wally, you've been talking for two and a half hours for all the reasons that you're not an addict. Can you please summarize those reasons again for me? And I said, well, I haven't used in 60 days, doesn't that prove that I'm not an addict?
And he said, well, I don't know about you, but I know many people, and actually some of those people are in this book, that have not used in years and they're still addicts. Do you think you could stop for a year? I said, hell no, why would I want to? I was being honest with the guy. And he said, well, how about 90 days? Does that prove I'm not an addict? No, it proves that you can stay clean for 90 days.
I'll think about it. Why else? Well, I've got this big, beautiful home in the northwest side of Tucson, and I got a big, beautiful car out in the parking lot, and of course the company car was, I mean, the big, beautiful car was a company car, I was being fired again, and I was going to lose the car. I was also going to lose the house in the northwest side of Tucson, which I was renting, I didn't own.
And he said, where do you live? And I gave him the address, and he said, isn't it amazing, I'm your neighbor two doors down. Two doors down. My first thought was, jeez, I thought this was a good neighborhood. I've got this guy living two doors down. Why else? Aren't you an addict? I said, I've been to college, John, I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree. And he said, I don't know about you, and he handed me his card, and it said John P., Ph.D., Director of Electrical Engineering, University of Arizona, and he had me.
He had one more degree than I did. And he brought me in. Thank God. He said, there's a meeting at 6 o'clock, and I think you should attend that meeting. Call me tomorrow at home. He gave me his home number, and if you need a medical referral, I'll give you one. But just go to that meeting tonight, and get your 60-day medallion. I said, whoa, hey John, I've been to two meetings. I can't get a 60-day medallion unless I admit I'm an addict.
He said, oh, I keep forgetting that you're not an addict. How about for tonight you pretend you're an addict? That's what happened. I pretended I was an addict, stood up to get my 60-day medallion, and that was the first of the turning points, major, major spiritual transformations. I realized that, yes, I did have a problem. Never had a desire chip, never had a 30-day chip, 60 days was my first medallion, because it's the first time I admitted that I had a problem.
After that meeting, a guy came up, and his name was Phil, and he said, my name's Phil, and I'm your sponsor. Whoa, what does that mean? I'm going to take you through these 12 steps. Oh, the ones on the wall that people read about in the meetings? Yes. He says, but I have to ask you some questions. One is, do you have one of these books? I said, yes, somebody gave one to me a month or so ago. Have you read it?
I said, absolutely not. Why would I want to read this thing? He said, that's okay. I need to ask you another question. Can you read? I was insulted with that question. Of course I can read. He said, most addicts can't read when they come in. The brain cells are
[00:15:00]
not connected. You may not be able to understand or comprehend this book. Therefore, I will guide you through this book. He said, do you think you are an addict? I said, no, I don't think I am an addict. it at the meeting, I'm not really sure, John. I'm Phil. And he said, well, then is your life unmanageable? Because I wasn't going to go there about being an addict. And I said, well, I don't think it's unmanageable, but I'm being fired from another Fortune 500 company and they think I have a problem. And he said, well, what do you say? In, you're out? Is your life unmanageable? I said, yes. Okay, you've taken step one. Okay, not admitting at the time that I was an addict. But again, in the old days, the key was to get the newcomer to step 12 as quickly as possible. Put no block between the newcomer and step 12. So, he said, I want you to open this book and I want you to only read page 25. What a great place to start. There is a solution. And I read these two paragraphs about the fourth dimension and existence which we have not even dreamed. We've had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude towards life, towards ourselves and towards, eh, there was the G word. Oh my God, what is this cult that I said I was going to be a part of? And then I started looking and Phil talked to me the next night and he said, well, did you read page 25? I said, yes, I did. And he said, what do you think? Are you going to make it? And I said, no, Phil, I'm not going to make it. And he said, why not? And I said, because of this book. And he said, what's wrong with this book? I said, there's God in this book. If you look closely, there's God just about in every page of this book. And he said, ooh, you don't believe, do you? And I said, Phil, I'm a total 100% non-believer. He said, but he knew the hook. He knew the first step hook was if you don't even think you're an addict, then let's take the first step on unmanageability.
Second step hook is you don't have to believe, all you have to do is believe that I believe. And he said, do you believe that I believe? And I said, yeah, Phil, I heard your story. Twenty years ago, you crawled up from under a bridge and now you're president of an oil refinery. He said, I didn't know any of that until he told me part of his story that first night. To me, he looked like he'd still just crawled up from under the bridge. I mean, he was an oil wildcatter, pretty tough, leathery skin and 20 years. Okay, Phil. And he said, all you have to do is believe that I believe. And we took the second step on my belief that he believed. Second night. Then we did the third step prayer together. And he said, oh, before we do the third step prayer, for you, Wally, for the rest of the steps, it's God as you don't understand him. Can you handle that? Yeah. Okay, Phil. God as I don't understand him because the G word is in the third step prayer. And then he said, I want you to take your book and I want you to read from page 63, bottom of the page to the end of the chapter. And I want you to start looking at this inventory process. And then the next night we got together and he said, how's that coming along? And I said, Phil, my inventory is done. He said, wow, that's amazing.
What does it look like? It's a blank sheet of paper. What's that all about? Oh, Phil, since I entered the 12 step community, I love everybody. I don't have a resentment in the world. He said, well, you got one now put my name at the top of the page and we're going to do the fifth step tomorrow night. He didn't say, wait, he didn't say you're not ready. He took me through the process immediately. I didn't realize that this was part of the original program for years later. And so the fifth, uh, the next night after the meeting, we went to his home and he ordered pizza and we sat down and I brought the blank sheet of paper with his name on it. And again, what I learned for the old timers in the early days, the sponsor did the writing. So I had done exactly what the old timers expected a newcomer to do. And that's nothing, which is why the sponsor did the writing. So he took that blank sheet of paper and he started asking me questions and he started making notes and came up with a nine step amends list. And we talked, we talked for about two and a half hours.
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Another concept from the early days is that the healing is in the sharing, not in the writing. The writing is just an exercise. The healing comes from talking about those things that are blocking. And then he questioned me on one of the amends. He said, I see that now that we've talked, your parents are on the list of amends. When do you think you might go down to see them? And I said, well, I'm going down on Saturday to Patagonia, a little cowboy town up in the mountains. And he said, oh, Wally, I would normally go with you because that's part of sponsoring. You're there with a newcomer as he or she makes the nine step amends. You're not physically in the presence, but you would wait out in the car or down the street. But the key concept was to be, the sponsor was the first person you saw after amends was made. Because what if it goes badly?
What if you start running? Where are you going to run to? The dope den, the bar room, the liquor store, the crack house? No, you run into the sponsor. How to go? Oh, terrible. Worse than I ever could have expected. Worse than our role play. Let's go to Denny's and talk about it. How to go? Oh, better than I ever could have thought of. We made a financial list that I would pay back $50 a month for the next few years. Oh, great. Let's go to Denny's and talk about it.
In this case, he said, I've got a meeting at the oil refinery. I can't be there. But again, this is before cell phones. He said, when are you going to make the amends? Two o'clock. If you don't call me by three o'clock, I'm calling your parents. Give me their number. Put me on the spot. So I sit my parents down at two o'clock and I start sharing. My mom gets up and walks out of the room. My nickname at home is Red. She said, Red, I don't know what this cult is that you joined, but I'm not listening to any of this. She gets up and walks out of the room. I'm calling Phil at 215. When you're president of an oil refinery, you can have a bat phone. He did.
It went straight to the corner office and went straight to him, bypassed the secretaries, receptionists, everybody. That was the bat phone. I'm calling on the bat line. He picks it up and says, yes? I said, it's Wally. He said, okay, I'm in this meeting. I said, my mom just walked out of the room. Stay right where you are. I'll call you as soon as the meeting's over. He calls me about 245, 250. He said, how'd it go? Terrible. My mom walked out of the room. He said, what are you doing now? I said, I'm driving back to Tucson. He drove from Casa Grande, which is 90 miles north of Tucson. I drove from Patagonia, 70 miles south of Tucson. We met at Denny's in downtown Tucson.
He was the first person I saw after this amends. It turned out that my mom had a drinking problem. Nine months later, she enters the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. She passed away last year with 19 years of sobriety. I shared this with some of the people at the back of the room. I see the heads nodding. Being an archivist historian, I've traveled with old timers. I'm always surrounded by people typically with 40, 50 years of sobriety when I'm doing this work.
At one conference convention, people are coming up to the old timers. My mom's there. They're handing them the big books to get them signed. They hand my mom a big book. She said, I'm not an old timer. I'm just old. That's her classic one-liner. I'm not an old timer. I'm just old. Whether you come in, whether you're 17 or 67, I heard from, not from old timers, but relatively recent, I just want to pass that on, that the only meeting we ever relate to is the first one.
I don't know if you've heard that one, but I kind of like that. The only meeting we ever relate to is the first one. That is whether you're 17 or 67. Another turning point, another aspect in terms of coming to believe, because I was still a non-believer, taking all the steps based upon God as I don't understand him. About nine months sober. Our meetings in Patagonia, which is just a little cowboy town of 700 people, are held in the lawnmower shed behind the Museum of the Horse. A lot of animal references in this story. Chicken coop. Got sober in a dog kennel, Northwest Atlanta Club in Tucson. It belonged to the Pima County Pound. They moved to larger
[00:25:01]
quarters. We cleaned up the old place. They rented it to us for $10 a year. Very nice. I'm showing up at the lawnmower shed. You had to take the two lawnmowers out. You could put six chairs in and that was the meeting. Six people. But then occasionally a seventh person would show up. What do we do now? We put a chair in the doorway. Then an eighth person showed up one night. Oh my God, how are we going to get two chairs in the doorway? I kind of thought this was coming. I showed up one Friday night and there was a sign on the lawnmower shed saying the meeting had been moved to the community church. I've been going to meetings for some time now, so I knew all about church. I've never been in the sanctuary, but fellowship hall just like this one. I'm comfortable. I go up to the community church. There's a little table in the middle of the room. There's 12, 13 people around the table. It's a tradition in Patagonia.
Everybody goes around the table and introduces themselves. My name is John. I'm an alcoholic. I'm an addict. I'm chairing this meeting. Bang, bang, bang. My name is Wally. I'm an addict visiting from Tucson. I go around the room and there's this white haired gentleman sitting directly across from me. He says, my name is John Jenkins and I'm the minister of this church. He didn't identify himself as an alcoholic. He didn't identify himself as an addict. What's he doing in our meeting? I copped a resentment. I had a resentment the whole hour. I was fuming. I was just so pissed that he was there. After the meeting, I got in his face. He was about 6'2 and big guy. I looked up at him. I said, John, I know this is an open meeting. Everybody's welcome in an open meeting, but I need to tell you that I'm having trouble you being here. Can you please tell me why you're at this meeting? He said, Wally, I've been going to 12-step meetings for 23 years.
I go for two reasons. One, I get material for my sermons. I thought that was pretty gutsy for a man of the cloth to say. He comes to our meetings to get material for his sermons. The second thing he said just blew me away. You are the only people I know that have been to the gates of hell and have come back to tell the rest of us what it was like. I need to hear your stories. I lost it. I started crying. He put his big, glutinous arms around me and just kind of held me. I just was shaking and crying. After about three or four minutes, I looked up at him. I said, John, if you're willing to go to our meetings on Friday night, the least I could do is start to go to your meetings on Sunday morning. Another turning point, another psychic change. As I said, I'm one year sober. Phil has told me that if I don't remember my last drug, I haven't taken it. If I don't know where it came from, I'll never know what a Miraculous program is. I don't do history. I'm a scientist. I do black and white. I don't do gray. Never taken a history class in my life that wasn't a requirement. Hated history. He's sending me out to learn about the early days. The first book that I looked at, didn't read, but looked at was Dr. Bob and the Good Old-Timers. There's pictures in there. I'm looking at the pictures. There's a picture of Dr. Bob's house. 855 Ardmore Avenue, Akron, Ohio. The picture was taken maybe in the 50s. I go into my home group. I've got the book with me. I said, ever been to Akron? Ever been to Dr. Bob's house? No, no, never been to Akron. Don't know anything about this. Do you know if the house is still standing? No, no. Phil is watching me do this. He said, Wally, don't bother these people. If you want to find out about Akron, find out for yourself. I'm sure he meant call Akron and find out if it was at Dr. Bob's house. I jumped on an airplane and flew to Akron because I was having trouble with the spiritual part of the program. Guess what? This comes directly from Dr. Bob. There is no spiritual part of this program. The entire program is spiritual. It came right from the co-founder of the first of the 12-step programs. I'm still having problems with the spiritual part of the program. I thought if I walked where they walk and saw what they saw, some of the spirituality rub off on me. So I took a red-eye out of Tucson on a Saturday night and I get to Akron on a Sunday morning about 10 o'clock and I do call the Interroop office, the central office. Is there a Dr. Bob's house? I only spent 25 cents on the call. I never thought about the $300 that I spent to make this 25-cent phone call on the airfare.
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yes, there is a Dr. Bob's House. Some members of the fellowship just purchased it a couple years ago and they're in the process of refurbishing it back to the way it was in 1934. Really? And they're having a meeting there today. And they only have one meeting a year at Dr. Bob's House. One meeting a year. And so, she said, if you make a commitment, I'll make a commitment. My commitment was to rent a car and drive exactly where she told me to drive because, she said, you'll never find Dr. Bob's House on your own. If anybody's been to Akron, it's all cow paths and Jicko's Helter Skelter and all these roads going off on 45 degree angles. And she was right. I probably never would have found it on my own. But I drove down the freeway and got off at the off ramp, she told me, and there was the Errant Club right there. She called ahead. There were two people waiting and they escorted me across town. And I get to Dr. Bob's home five minutes before this meeting. They had taken the furniture out of the living room. They put a little table in the middle of the living room. And there was only about 75, maybe 80 people total that had come. 15,000, 20,000 people show up for Founders Day and here's 75 come to thank Dr.
Bob. It was Gratitude Sunday, gratitude for Dr. Bob's contribution to the fellowship. And it was on the Sunday, the second or the third Sunday of November, which was closest to Dr. Bob's date of passing, which was November 16, 1950. I'm actually there on November 16, 1989 with this little one-year medallion in my pocket. And what I found out as I'm standing in the doorway, there were no seats or chairs available, and I stand for the next three hours. And it was a speaker meeting. They had eight chairs around the table, and the only requirement to speak is you had to have 40 years of sobriety. Four, zero. Every single person at that table in 1989 had been sponsored by Dr. Bob. Every single person at that table had been taken through the steps in one day. Every single person at that table had been given a 12-step call to make the next day. Dr. Bob said, I carried the message to you today, you carry the message to the next person tomorrow.
It didn't connect the dots that I'd actually been taken through basically that same program over a week. After that meeting, they found out I'd traveled the furthest to go to this meeting I didn't even know existed, so they all thought that was pretty funny. And they took me into the kitchen, and I met Susan at the windows, Dr. Bob's daughter, and we became very close friends because we both have this fear of speaking in public.
My fear was removed that very evening after they took me around and introduced me to the eight old-timers and other old-timers, and I knew that I wasn't there by accident. I'm beginning to accept that maybe there is a God, and I've been directed to be at this point in time to hear exactly what I needed to hear to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm going to be an archivist historian for the rest of my life.
After the meeting, we were talking for about two hours, and they said, well, we've had a chance to be of service to you, Wally. We'd like for you to be of service to us. I said, okay, what can I do? What can I do to help? They said, we'd like for you to go to a meeting with us. I can do that. The meeting's in Cleveland. Oh, where's Cleveland? Oh, just 40 miles up the road. Oh, I can do that. I've got this rental car.
So, we tear off in three vehicles, about 12, 14 of us total, driving from Akron to Cleveland, and we get to downtown Cleveland. I can tell that we are in downtown Cleveland. We pull up to the six-story building, and there's bars in the windows, and there's bars on the door. I'm going, uh-oh, what have I gotten myself into? They take me in. I had to give them my driver's license. When we got inside, we were buzzed in. I'm thinking, oh, my God, that's so they can identify the bodies. I'm terrified now.
We go up this elevator onto the fifth floor, and we're walking into this meeting. It turned out to be the Harbor Lights detox for the Salvation Army. As we're walking into the meeting, one of the people turned to me and said, oh, Wally, maybe we didn't tell you, but this is your meeting. What do you mean, it's my meeting?
[00:35:01]
Well, you're our speaker. Haven't you ever spoken at a meeting before? I said, absolutely not. I'm terrified of people. He said, no problem. He handed me a big book, and he said, we're going in. Why don't you get on your knees and pray before you come in, which I did before this meeting, which I did before the meeting this afternoon. The prayer that I do today is the same prayer that I did then on November 16, 1989. God, I can't do this.
I need your help. Let my words be your words. Amen. I walked in, and I started telling a story about how I'd gotten to Dr. Bobbs. As I'm this story, speaking for the first time at a meeting, it was easy. My name is Wally. I'm an addict, and I pass. That was my M.O. for the first year, because I'm terrified of you. During that meeting, as I'm sharing my story, I hear in the back of my head, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs. I had a conversion experience right there at the Salvation Army, Harbor Lights in Cleveland, Ohio. I will be back there this November to speak at that same meeting. I'm tying that into the Welcome House, because I'm at the Welcome House in 2001, and I'm telling that story, which I don't tell very often, that part of the story about the Harbor Lights. A man comes up to me, and he said, I witnessed your miracle. I was in detox at the Harbor Lights in Cleveland, Ohio. I remember you. I've not been able to stay sober in the interim. He said, I think I'm having a conversion experience right now in front of you. I said, hang on to that. Tonight is your miracle.
That was at the Welcome House, where I met a man who had actually witnessed my miracle in 1989. I started traveling with old timers. I wanted to become an archivist, didn't know how, so I called the General Service Office in New York, one of the other 12-step programs. I'm talking to Frank M., who's the archivist. I said, Frank, how do I become an archivist? Because you are one. He says, it's easy. You go down to the office supply store, and you get some business cards made, put your name on it, and put archivist underneath it. That's how I became an archivist. I didn't know any different. I'm one year sober, so I went down and made some cards. I started passing them out. Wally P., archivist. Three years later, I'm elected Arizona area archivist. Then to the National Archives Committee, reporting to the General Service Office in New York. Then in 1999, again, Sue, Dr.
Bob's daughter, and I became very close friends. Sue became very close friends with my mother. We actually flew her out to Tucson a couple times so that she could spend time with my mom in a little place called Hummingbird Haven. Some of the rarest hummingbirds in all of North America built nests in my mom and dad's backyard. Eight to ten thousand people a year travel from all over the world just to sit in the backyard and look at this little, tiny, violet-crowned hummingbird. Sue loved hummingbirds, so we flew her out.
She sat and watched these hummingbirds for days on end. 1999, and she also befriended James H., and I talked about James this afternoon. I met James in 1996. Let me tell that part of the story before I close. Somebody called me and said, I just came from a convention. There's this guy that went to meetings with Bill, and he got sober one day after Bill, and I'm saying, oh my God, another case of senility, another case of Alzheimer's. I'd never met or heard of this man. He stayed in the Oxford group. I tried to save the Oxford group. I was there when Bill wrote the book, but didn't join the first of the 12-step programs at that time.
I thought that I'd been chosen by God to expose him, so that he wouldn't keep talking from the podium about things that he knew nothing about, because there are old-timers that have
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done that. We do have audio tapes that are not historically accurate, but people just making stuff up because they're lonely or want to get some recognition. I've been through that several times already. I decided I was going to call him and ask him 20 questions that only somebody that was there could answer. I said, I'm going to audio tape the conversation. He said, fine. First question, what night of the week did you go to meetings with Bill at the Calvary Church in New York City? I said, I don't know what night of the week that meeting was. Bingo, short interview. I didn't go to meetings at the Calvary Church until many years later. Bill had already left what was the Oxford group then to form this thing called the Nameless Bunch of Drunks. That's what the original meeting in New York was called. I said, how do you know Bill? Bill used to come to my meetings in Frederick, Maryland. I knew that, wow, Fitz M., AA number three in New York, had a horse ranch outside of Frederick, Maryland. Bill used to go there all the time with Lois. Part of the big book was written there. I was there at Cumberstone at the very mansion, the horse ranch, just a year before. Bingo, I connected those dots. I put my 20 questions away and started listening.
Then, I'm doing this seminar at the Wilson House, the greatest spiritual movement of the 20th century. This is where Bill was born in East Dorset, Vermont in 1895. I'm thinking, I've got to have this James guy come and join me. This is going to be awesome. A man that was actually there when this whole thing went down, 90 years old, 61 years sober. I called the Wilson House. I'm talking to Bonnie and Ozzy, the caretakers. They said, whoa, whoa, whoa, Wally. Of course we want James to come. Of course it will be all expenses paid. You've got to ask this guy some questions. They gave me a list of questions. I called them back. I said, James, everything is a go for the Wilson House, but I've got to ask you these questions. Please forgive me. I don't mean to offend. The first one is, can you walk? He's 90 years old. Legitimate question. He said, I can walk a little. What's a little?
I can walk as far as from my house to the car. What does that mean? I'm driving to the Wilson House. He lived in Baltimore, Maryland. He drove for seven hours to get to the Wilson House in March of 1996. Arrives within five minutes of when he said he would be there. Bombs up the steps, shakes everyone's hands, and changed everyone's life in the room. Everyone. He was doing it ever since. He'd been doing it since 1934. He had a special gift. There's some people in this room that actually met James and knew James. He was here in 2001. If you can give me just a couple minutes after, is that all right? If you have to leave, you have to leave. I need to tell this because James was here on the weekend after 9-11, 2001. I was already in Texas. I'd done a seminar in Austin, so I had a rental car and I was driving around. I got to Dallas, but James is stranded because they stopped flying planes after the planes flew into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon and into the field in Pennsylvania. We have a member here that's part of the fellowship that called American Airlines and said, this guy has to fly. He's one of the pioneers of the first of the 12-step programs. He must be in Dallas. American Airlines agreed. They put him on the first plane that left the ground after 9-11. Steve was actually hosting that meeting.
meeting, he introduced me. I'm at the podium when James walked in the room and changed that room forever. He had a special gift and I was honored to have traveled with him for the next ten years. James and Sue were very close. James liked
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to share that he never dated women his old age. age. He only dated younger women because women his own age were all dead. A little morbid, but that's what he used to say. And Sue was about eight years younger than he was and they hit it off beautifully and she fit the M.O. and she called me in the summer of 1999 and she had just gotten out of the hospital. We almost lost her and she said, of the two million people in recovery, you're the only person I trust to find a home for mom and dad's stuff. What stuff? The stuff that's been in the attic since Dr. Bob passed on November 16, 1950. And so I opened those boxes in 1989 and what a life-changing experience that was. I've had a chance to walk with giants and many of them said they would never acknowledge that themselves. But many of them said, Wally, we're not going to be alive much longer just like Phil said. Will you please carry our message for us? And I said, yes. That's why I do what I do, traveling around the world, carrying the message of the pioneers because they're not here to carry it themselves and they asked me to. Yes, I have come to believe.
Some of you know that seven years ago I was diagnosed with terminal incurable cancer and they only gave me six months to live. I turned on the chemotherapy and within six months the cancer had gone from stage four to stage one only as a result of your prayers. I'll be forever grateful for that and I still am today, every day. Seven years into a six-month terminal incurable diagnosis. If I didn't believe before then, which I did, I certainly came to believe as a result of taking that walk.
I'm going to close. I've had a chance to work with the Cash family in Nashville, Tennessee and Johnny wrote a song actually back in the 70s that actually wasn't recorded until his last album, Cash 5, and the title of it is Came to Believe. And this is what Johnny had to say. I came to believe in a power much higher than I. I came to believe. I came to believe that without him I couldn't get by. In childlike wonder I gave in and gave him a try and came to believe in a power much greater than I.
Thank you for letting me share. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you all. Y'all should give another round of applause. The Seventh Tradition states that we are fully self-supporting through our own contributions. If you have a couple of dollars it would be greatly appreciated so we can keep the great facilities we are currently in. I have asked Johnny, where are you, to hand out chips.