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Source: Rod L – Houston TX – Reel 0805-nonum (1960) – 1960-03-17.mp3 File: rod-l-houston-tx-reel-0805-nonum-1960-1960-03-17.mp3 Duration: 00:49:06
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Let Rob tell you. Will you come up? Thank you, Paul. Guests of honor. Texas AAs, God bless you. You know, I've been looking forward to this for… What is it? Since December you wrote me first. And I don't know if I'm equal to the occasion. I'm just snowed under and smothered with this gorgeous hospitality of yours. I, uh… think I should start with a telegram that I received today from Velma. Sorry can't be with you.
Lots of good wishes for a successful and happy conference. Please know that I'm with you in spirit. All love to you and your friends always. God bless A.A. Velma Bankey Laroque. Applause I don't know what some of us have done to deserve the marvelous wives we have. And I think at this time that I should pay tribute to our wives. Uh… Samuel Johnson said A good wife is like the ivy that beautifies the building to which it clings winding its tendrils more lovingly as time converts the ancient edifice into a ruin.
Laughter God bless our wives. Um… I'm always self-conscious about speaking somehow. I, uh… asked Paul, uh… I know there are a lot of other things you have to do and want to do and you've already heard so much good A.A. Uh… Uh… I've never attended any convention or conference that has impressed me more. I, uh… hope we'll equal in Long Beach in July what you've done here. This is something to shoot at, believe me.
I, uh… asked him how long I should speak. Uh… And Paul said, well, Rod, uh… You know, use your own judgment. Laughter I don't trust my own judgment. Uh… No, I know that. Laughter But I sometimes wonder, uh… You know, we have that wonderful advice. This is a simple program. Don't louse it up. And, uh… I wonder sometimes if we don't speak too long. Uh… If it's necessary to speak as long as we do.
Uh… Brevity being the soul of wit. Uh… I'm reminded of the teacher who was rather fed up with this little schoolroom full of monsters that she had. And she wanted a respite and said, Now let me see, I'll do something to keep them occupied. So she said, Children, today I want you to write a composition. Uh… The composition is to be based upon the four principles of good storytelling. Now those four principles are, Uh…
Deity, royalty, sex, and mystery. Laughter I want you to write a composition and I want it to be based upon those four basic principles. You may start at once. And of course she thought that would occupy them for the rest of time. And she started to be occupied with the things she wanted to do and was reading her book. And after a very few minutes, within the aperture of her vision, a young chap in the third or fourth seat, the row,
[00:05:03]
sort of deliberately shoved a paper up, put a pencil down, made some noise doing it, and folded his arms. And she could see this attitude of almost defiance. So she said, Johnny, you were to… You know you have an assignment for today. He said, Yes, teacher. She said, You know it's a composition. He said, Yes, teacher. You know it's based upon the four principles of good storytelling. He said, Yes, teacher.
She said, You know the four principles involve deity, royalty, sex, and mystery. He said, Yes, teacher. She said, Then why aren't you writing? He said, I've finished, teacher. She said, You've finished. He said, Yes, teacher. So she thought, Well, now this is going to be great. Children, relax. For your edification, we will have Johnny read this masterpiece. He said he's finished. So they all relaxed.
And she said, Johnny, read your composition. And he stood and read. God, cried the queen, the princess is pregnant. He had done it. So I think maybe he said everything. I could say that I'm sober tonight. I'm sober because I belong to this wonderful fellowship, AA. Everything that I know and more is in the book. You can buy this for $4.50 and go home and read it. And I'll see you later. But that isn't how it works.
Thomas Mann said, Language is civilization itself. A word, even a contrary word, preserves contact. It's silence which isolates. And we all know what happened to us when we were silent. We must communicate. We need each other. No man is an island entire of himself. Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a cloud be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thy friends or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me because I'm involved in mankind. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee. We need each other. We create a climate and an environment here of sobriety. Now thank God this was easy for me to understand from the beginning. When Vilma and I married, we did want to make a success of our marriage.
We wanted it deep down in our deepest hearts. And Vilma and I promised each other that we were going to make an honest effort to associate with people who were successfully married. People who made a success of their marriage and wanted their marriage to be a success. So there was an environment, a climate, that we tried to associate ourselves with. And that's what we do here. This climate of fellowship, of friendship, of understanding.
We contribute to the environment, whatever it is. And we become victimized by our environments and our climates. I'm so lucky and I don't know how I'll ever repay the debt I owe.
[00:10:02]
And now this experience here has increased the debt again. I'll never catch up. It's getting worse and worse. But God's been so good to me in the people that he's let me know and in the things that he's had happen to me. The experience for me is completely spiritual. If anyone had told me twelve and a half years ago that I would stand before a group of intelligent people and talk about God, I would have said they were nuts.
I'm going to try and do that tonight. Talk about God. As I say, all the things that have happened to me have been lucky. It's just amazing. The first year I was on the program… Oh, no. You know, Mark Twain said, it's not what that guy doesn't know that creates his ignorance. It's the things he knows that ain't true. I knew so much that wasn't true. Anywho, it was at a beginner's meeting and I was trying as hard as I knew how to be a nigger beaver and a young fellow with all the charm in the world came up to me one evening at the meeting and he said, LeRock, you've gone for this whole hog, haven't you?
I said, this has saved my life. I love it. This is great. You know, just full of enthusiasm. So he said, you know, it's double talk, don't you? I said, it's what? Of course, you know, I had just accepted everything. If they had saw my sponsor standing on his head, I'd have stood on my head. I wanted to do whatever my sponsor did and I had a Darby winner, God bless him, Sterling Scott. Well, anyway, he said, yeah, this is full of double talk.
And I said, well, I don't understand you, sir. He said, you're 12th step. I said, the 12th step? He said, yep. So I said, look, having had a spiritual awakening because of those steps, we'll put quotes on those, those steps, we tried to carry the message to alcoholics and practice these principles, and we'll quote that, these principles in all our affairs. You're talking about two different things, it's those steps and these principles.
You know. So I said, gee, Liz, why did he pick me for this? You know, I wanted to run to mother right away. Sterling, we've got a Hindu here or something. So I said, how do you play this cool? See, I hadn't learned to let God keep the books yet, you know. So I was still doing a lot. And so I said, oh yeah, wait, I'll be back. Just wait a minute. You know, I had to do something suddenly. So I got to Sterling and I said, listen, there's a maverick over here.
This guy threw me a twister. And he says, he did? I said, yeah. So I introduced him. And of course, Sterling, God love him. He'd been on about five or six years by that time, you see, and had a lot of control, magnificent personality, a great understanding and all that sort of thing. Really great, great man. God-given fellow. So I said, look, why don't we discuss this tomorrow afternoon at my house?
So I thought, gee, Liz, that's great. We had a few hours anyway. So, and this fellow seems sincere in his criticism. He was searching. He just said, look, the semantics here are twisted. You've got something wrong. Those steps, these principles. So we got to Sterling's house. Well, this became a group and we called ourselves A.A.S.S. The Alcoholics Anonymous Step Students. No one has become a capital S, a Step Scholar yet, but we still have some Step Students.
We're just pupils, students. So we really studied this thing. Now the thing I wanted to do, it seemed to me, that here were the rules by which I had to live for the rest of my life. And I wanted to do that. I was set up for that, or thought I was. I was set up for that, or thought I was, but I thought, look, Rod, the thing you gotta do, kiddo, now, someone says six times six, you say thirty-six, you don't go around trying to, you know, add pebbles, or something like that, you learn the multiplication tables, so I said, you gotta memorize these steps, buster, because it's no good to have something happen to you in the middle of the day, or downtown, or some evening, or someplace, and say, gee, I wonder where I left the book, you know,
[00:15:27]
where are the steps, I know there's a step for this, but where did I leave it, so, that's, there's nothing zaptic about that, you know, I mean, we'll keep that with us, see, these steps gotta be neat, the thing we don't use doesn't belong to us, we don't own it, so, we, I mean, to get something is to have it, but to earn something is to own it, so I said, Rod, you'd better memorize those steps. Now, I don't know how easy they are to memorize, or how hard they are to memorize, there's only 211 words in the 12 steps, but this thing we started working on made it easy for us to memorize the steps, and made it easy for them to be applied to our everyday activity, which is what I wanted more than anything else in the world. Arthur Brisbane once said to me, Rod, if it can't be solved with simple arithmetic, something's wrong with it, so I thought, now, this is the simple arithmetic of this program, get these steps and know them backwards.
So, we took the first step, and we pondered, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, our lives had become unmanageable. That made sense. Now, then we felt that that represented the principle of honesty. We needed that in our everyday life, and the first step reminded us of honesty, and honesty reminded us of the first step. So, that was the principle we used for the first step, the principle, those steps, these principles. So, it was the principle of honesty and acceptance, because admitting it is not enough.
It's necessary, but we have to admit and accept. So, you know about acceptance. These two ladies are talking over the back fence, and one is saying to the other, I suppose you're terribly happy that your husband gave up drinking, and she says, oh, I think it's just glorious, naturally. I'm ecstatic. And she says, but isn't it too bad that he's replaced it with another vice? She says, oh. She says, yes, you know, he chases every woman that he sees in the street. And she says, oh, yes, that's all right, I accept that. She says, you what? She says, I accept it.
She says, you know, we have a dog that chases all the cars that go by, but I know he can't drive. You control yourself, Jack. So, we had the honesty, the principle of honesty and the principle of acceptance for the first step, and the second step, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Came to believe. We felt was the principle of hope, and we need and can use that constantly. So, the second step reminded us of hope, and hope always recalled the second step.
And the third made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. These are some of the most beautiful words in the English language. God as we understood him. The reason we have the United States of America today is because a group of people wanted to worship God as they understood him, and not according to the dictates, the arbitrary dictates of some sovereign.
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Turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. When you turn your will and your life over to something, that's faith. That's real faith. And faith, the legend of the Red Sea, the waters didn't separate until the first man wet his feet. You walk in and know that this is so. You know, Walt Whitman said, I'm going to have enough to eat as long as I live, even if I die of starvation. Faith. So, the third step represented to us faith, and faith always recalled the third step.
And now the fourth step is a Derby winner. The first three we can do sitting down. But the program of action starts now. The fourth step made a searching, fearless, moral inventory of ourselves. This, this is action. And I remember the first thing that Sterling wanted me to know is that this is a program of action. A program of action. You know, there was a little colored fellow that had this little chunk of ground, and it was very productive. He worked assiduously, diligently.
The fence was painted, the door was properly hung, the bit of corn and a bit of potatoes grew, and it was clean and it was orderly. And everybody was always coming by and said, Johnson, you sure should be grateful. You should thank the Lord every minute of your life. He's been awful good to you. Just look at this place, Johnson. I hope you're grateful. I hope you're thanking the Lord for this. And of course, everyone was saying the same thing. You should be grateful, Johnson. I mean, I hope you're thanking the Lord.
God's been awful good to you. And he took it and took it and went on and on until finally the parson came by and told him in no uncertain terms, Johnson, I want to make sure you've been grateful to the Lord for this bounty. He says, Parson, I'm sure grateful, I promise you. I'm definitely grateful, but I wish you'd seen this place when God had it all to himself. So it's an action. This is a do-it-yourself.
So the action starts, it seemed to us anyway, the action starts with the fourth step. We made a searching, fearless, moral inventory of ourselves, and that to us represented the principle of courage, which is something we need and can use, and then courage would always remind us of the fourth step. And the fifth step, admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
And this, we felt, was the principle of integrity. We're going three ways on this. To ourselves and another, to God, to ourselves and another human being. So we can't fool with that. That's integrity, and a magnificent principle, and one that's admirable to possess. And then, the sixth step. Now, it seems to, of course, I suppose it's been discussed, and there probably are reasons in either direction, but it seems to us that the steps are numbered as they are for a very definite purpose.
And there's a reason, a sequence of events and development and growth, this one, two, three, four, five, six, down to twelve. Because with the sixth, we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. What defects are we talking about if we haven't worked the fourth and the fifth step? You can't just walk out in the middle and say, God, I've got a few defects of character, remove them, will you please?
So, this, we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, we felt, was the principle of willingness.
[00:25:03]
Surrender, willingness. And then the seventh step, humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. And we felt that that would be the principle of humility. So we had humility for the seventh step, and then the seventh step would always make us conscious of humility. And this could interweave, and it made it easy to practice, and easy to remember. And, then the eighth step, made a list of all the persons we had harmed, and became ready to make amends to them all.
At last, we're thinking of the other fellow. And this to us was the principle of brotherly love, that we must have an abundance. So, the eighth step just automatically for us became the principle of brotherly love, and brotherly love always suggested the eighth step. And then, the ninth step, made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so, would injure them or others. This is important for us, I think, for alcoholics.
We felt was the principle of discipline. We're employing judgment now, to make amends. Sometimes we're almost too anxious to make amends. You can get into a lot of trouble bending fences. Make amends wherever possible, except when to do so, would injure them or others. So, this principle of discipline, we felt was very necessary for us, and very good, and very useful. Very useful. And then, ten. And this was so important for me, because I thought, you know, I thought I was going to finish the inventory, and gee, I'm still taking it.
Continue to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admit it. When we're wrong, promptly admit it. We felt was the principle of perseverance, continuance, and dependability. And that reminded us of the tenth step, when we would exercise that, and then the tenth step would suggest these principles. And also involved in that principle was the practice of understanding what's right, not who's right.
It doesn't make any difference who's right. It's what is right. And that philosophy, for us, cured more resentments than anything else. Because that's an old gimmick with the psychologist, when you go and you know, and he doesn't say what's wrong with you, he says who's wrong with you. So it was what's right, instead of who's right. Now, the eleventh step, of course, this is all the glory that was ever put into any language.
Sought through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood him. Praying only for the knowledge of his will for us, and the power to carry that out. That's magnificent. And this, we felt, was the principle of awareness. God in everything. God sleeps in the minerals, dreams in the flowers, moves in the animals, and man knows he is alive. God in everything. This room is filled with God tonight, because you're here, because there's God in you.
You know, Tolstoy, once when he was stuck with a bunch of atheists in St. Petersburg, these sophisticated philosophers, and they had mistaken his silence for agreement, but deliberately questioned it. but deliberately questioned him to corroborate their judgment, said, it's true, Count, there is no God, is there?
[00:30:03]
And after a moment, he said, maybe there's no God, for the man who can't find Him within himself, because that's where He is. That's where God lives. I, when I came on this program, I had that wonderful experience, you know, I found God in you, before I dared to look for Him in myself. But it was because I found Him and recognized Him in you, that I did find Him within myself. So that's eleven steps we feel is very important.
It is to us. And the twelfth step, here's the one that the guy threw in my face. Having had a spiritual awakening because of those steps, we tried to carry the message to alcoholics that we can practice these principles in our affairs. The principle of service. The principle of service. And it's one of the greatest of the principles. There's no limit to the good we can do if we don't care who gets the credit.
The service we render is the rent we pay for the space we take up on earth. We'll only keep what we've got by sharing it. Now those were the principles as we found them. Of course, every group, every individual will find perhaps their own principles in the steps. But for a method of working the steps and applying them each day and making an honest effort to live by them, I don't know of anything better than searching for the principles and identifying them in that way because memorizing them then and using them is practically automatic.
And you know, we found another thing. Alcohol is only mentioned twice in the 12 steps, in the first and in the last, in the 12th step. The rest of it is all about God. We have a group, we're all AAs, and any time, it's been so darn nice to me, God bless you, any time you come to Los Angeles, and it happens to be a Friday noon, there's a restaurant in Westwood called Pierre's and it's on Westwood Boulevard.
You won't find it difficult to make contact, I promise you, but if you happen to be there on a Friday and at noon, there are a group of us that have met for five or six years I guess now every Friday and it's a cross-section of today's economy. Some of the fellows are in real estate, some of them are in the bank, a lot of them are in the automotive business, there are several engineers from Lockheed and so forth, the air plants.
Some of the pals are in the motion picture TV business, there's a banker and an industrialist. It is really a cross-section. Now we're all AAs and we know that we're ex-drunks and we know that we can't play with the flip. But for the purpose of the luncheon and the first step, we just say, we admitted we were powerless over wrong thinking, our lives had become unmanageable. It's practically synonymous, alcoholic and non-thinking anyway, because that's what it is, we end up with that awful thinking.
So anyway, that's what we do because we know the pitch on alcohol, we're all active AAs. But, so this is wrong thinking, and then in the twelfth step, having had a spiritual awakening because of those steps,
[00:35:00]
we try to carry the message to other wrong thinkers and practice these principles. Now, I know this is childish and I'm talking like a schoolboy, except that it's true. I know better than to lie from this podium, believe me. I might take a liberty when I'm not standing here, but I'm not going to take any liberties here. We have had, at that luncheon, all sorts of problems past that table. All sorts of problems.
I mean escrows that had blown up in somebody's face, or drawings that didn't come out right, etc., and so forth and so on. Now, the thing we've done is that, now look, let's study this. If it's wrong, one of the steps have been violated. If the step, if no step has been violated, then there's nothing wrong with this. Let's see what we can do about it. Now, in the event that there's something wrong, if we find a violated step and we work the step, we have solved the problem every time.
I swear to you, it's that practical. That's how this works for us. So if you're ever there on a Friday and you feel like having luncheon with us, we'd love to have you. I'm very happy that the publisher of our little 24 hours a day, aren't you the publisher, sir? Author. Author, and yeah, well, bless you. This is wonderful. Because one of the things, Sterling, Scott, I'll never forget that gorgeous man.
We all know how we got drunk. You know, anybody can do that. But how do you stay sober? But I had been on an awful, let's see, it was Father Jerry who said this morning, a toot, wasn't it? Well, I was on a toot. I had set it up so I was sure I would be alone and I had arranged for Vilma to become involved in some golf tournament in La Jolla and I tore into one, I really did. Most deceitful thing, you know, most objectionable, my goodness.
I couldn't wait for the poor darling's car to get around the corner, which I watched disappear. And then fiendishly I get back into this hell hole, you see, and start dreaming all these mad dreams. God, Father this morning said another thing. Enemy, enemy. And you know, it was a funny thing, of course, and I had to have Brooks Brothers, Harris Tweeds, and a silver goblet and a decanter. This was all gentlemen of distinction, you know.
I put the stink in distinction. So I would fill this silver goblet and then from, here's how crazy, cunning, baffling, powerful, from Othello, you know, when Rodrigo comes back after he's killed the other guy, Shakespeare, Billy Shakespeare, you'd know an actor who'd do that. And this guy comes in and says, Oh God, that man should take an enemy in his mouth that steals away his brain. Take an enemy in his mouth that steals away his brain.
And you see, I would do this, and then I would, Victory, you know. Brain, fly away. Completely nuts. Well anyway, I had done this, you see. Now then, after enough days, and I remember those last two nights, I had a hell of a problem. During the war, Vilma and I ranched, but I'll tell you that, about that the next time we meet, because that's something else again. Anyway, we ranched, and the last two nights of this toot, I couldn't figure out how in the name of heaven my tractor from the ranch got onto the ceiling of my bedroom.
And it was going back and forth on the ceiling for two whole nights.
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Well, that was it, you see. Anyway, the morning came, and poor Vilma returned home. Radiant, you know, God love her. Golf, tweed, blonde hair, tanned and everything. And came into my room. If she had hit me with something, it would have been great. But at the foot of the bed, she simply said, you poor, poor guy. Well, that killed me. I was all I needed. I fell out of bed, and she turned again to see, you know, she said, Rod, we've, something has to be done.
I said, something is going to be done. She said, I'll get Dr. Schiffbauer. I said, we've had that joker up here too many times already. I'll never forget this. This is a spiritual program now. I hadn't read the Saturday Evening Post story. I didn't know that I knew anyone that was on AA. No one had talked to me about AA. But Vilma said, we've got to do something. And I said, we're going to do it. And she said, we're going to do it.
But Vilma said, we've got to do something. And I said, we're going to do it. And she said, but what? And I want to tell you something that from heaven, I said, we're going to call AA. I'll never forget the look on her face as long as I, she said, Rod, I'll do it for you. Now, how did I know she couldn't do it? I said, Mama, she said, it won't work. I've got to do it. How did I know that? She said, you can't even stand up.
I said, I can crawl. And I'm a guy that can tell you truthfully that I did come into AA on my belly. Because I went across the whole front top there to get to the telephone. I don't know how I got the number or anything else, but I know one of the loveliest voices I've ever listened to said, do you need help? Oh, do I need help? I said, please. She said, someone will be there within an hour. And I started to cry and collapse.
Now, and Sterling Scott came to my house, Sterling Scott. Now, and I think this is in the little booklet, because I was so interested in this man's technique. He was so great. He called it the five C's of the 12th step. And I think that's in the book, isn't it? The five C's of the 12th step call? Confidence, confession, conviction, conversion, continuance. He confided in me, and by virtue of that caused me to confide in him.
He told me about himself and gained my confidence completely and so magnificently. And then I gladly and willingly confessed. I wanted to tell somebody who would understand, but it takes an alcoholic to understand an alcoholic. And I confessed, and I will never forget the relief that I had when I got that off my shoulder, when I was able to tell those things to someone who would understand what I was saying.
And the confidence and the confession led to the conviction that I had this awful disease and that there was something that could be done about it. And he convinced me that something could be done about it. There was conviction in the whole thing. Conviction in the Whole Thing, and the confidence, confession, and conviction led then to the conversion, and I was converted.
[00:45:01]
I realized that I had to change my thinking. As Father said this morning, it's a way of life, and I understood that I remembered a thing, thoughts are things and their airy wings are swifter than carrier doves. They follow the laws of the universe, each thing must create its kind, and as they go o'er the track, they'll bring you back whatever went out from your mind. Descartes said, I think, therefore I am, that's never been disputed, therefore we must be what we think.
I remember I had a mathematics teacher when we were studying triangulation and navigation, and we've all seen sailboats going opposite directions under one wind, and he used to say, one ship sails east and another sails west in spite of the winds that blow. It's the set of the sail, not the gale, that determines where they go. And I realized we could set our sail for sobriety, and I stand some chance of going in that direction, and I can reverse it, and I'll sure as hell go in the other direction.
So there was this conversion, and I accepted it. Then the continuation, Sterling never quit. I remember he said, Rod, we've got to get to a meeting. I'm sorry, I've got a date tonight, I can't stay with you tonight, but I'll leave the book with you. Well, I like to read, and I knew I wasn't going to get very much rest that night, and it's funny how this has resolved all the other things that ever happened to me, everything.
I can relate in some way or other, and now this is without any hocus-pocus, I'm not pulling rabbits out or looking into crystal balls, I have no time for the esoteric or mystic. It's great, but I don't know anything about it. But this is all reality as far as I'm concerned, and this relates to all the things that ever happened to me. In 3031 and 3032, our headquarters was in Germany. I remember when we were in Berlin, Professor Einstein was speaking at the Berlin University, so I was half-tanked, and if Einstein speaks, Leroch's going to hear him.
I wouldn't have understood him if he was speaking in English, but I wanted to hear Einstein. So I didn't have any trouble getting in, you know what gate-crashers we were, so I got in all right. But this man's amazing ability and his humility and his personality so impressed me that I felt that I had to apologize after he finished, and I did. I went to him and I said, Dr. Einstein, I must apologize for being here today.
He says, well, look, if you were here, there was a reason you were here, so we mustn't argue about the things that happened. So I said, well, I won't tangle with this guy, you know, he'll cipher me out or something. I said, no, I didn't understand what you said. My German is very limited, it's only limited to theater and journalism. I said, I don't have any of the sciences down at all. But I said, I wonder if there's something you could say to a layperson like myself that would give me some understanding or feeling for this magnificent philosophy.
And he said, I'm…