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Source: DICOBE-00328 – Marty H – WEST VIRGINIA STATE CONV – 1978-07-15.mp3 File: dicobe-00328-marty-h-west-virginia-state-conv-1978-07-15.mp3 Duration: 00:29:44
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I'm Joyce Counts, and I'm a very grateful member of the Wheeling Area Al-Anon Group. Okay, I'm also a sponsor of the Wheeling Tuesday Night Alateen Group. Okay, and Alateens need sponsors. Every Alateen group should have a sponsor who is an active member of Al-Anon and an alternate sponsor if possible. Former Alateen members are encouraged to start and sponsor Alateen groups while attending post-teens or Al-Anon.
AA members sometimes act as co-sponsors. Groups do best when one sponsorship continues over a considerable period of time, at least a year and preferably two. The personal interest of sponsors to whom the members can relate is of the highest importance. It is the sponsor's responsibility to see to it that someone is there to replace him in event he cannot attend the Alateen meeting. It is not wise to have the parent of an Alateen member sponsor the group to which his child belongs.
Members tend to talk less freely in the presence of a parent. A non-alcoholic parent, too, is often part of an Alateen's problem. The sponsor provides guidance in establishing the group's structure and functions, elections of officers, planning the meetings, administration of funds, selecting and ordering literature, sending out notices and locating a meeting place, keeping in touch with absent members and the World Service Office.
All this should be purely a matter of guidance. However, the members themselves should assume these responsibilities as soon as possible. And you heard Mary Jo last night talk about the effects of alcoholism on her children. And I can think of no better way than to give our children this wonderful program than if we become active in trying to help with an Alateen group. So I'll give you Jo Lynn. She's the Alateen chairman for tonight.
Hi, good morning. Well, Didi's going to read the preamble. Oh. Alateen, part of the Alamone Family Group, is a fellowship of young people whose lives have been affected by alcoholism and a family member or close friend. We help each other by sharing our experiences, strength and hope. We believe alcoholism is a family disease because it affects all the members emotionally and sometimes physically. Although we cannot change or control our parents, we can detach from their problems while continuing to love them.
We do not discuss religion or become involved with any outside organizations. Our sole topic is the solution of our problems. We're also careful to protect each other's anonymity as well as that of the alcoholic. By applying the 12 steps of AA to ourselves, we begin to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We will always be grateful to Alateen for giving us a wonderful, healthy program to live by and enjoy.
Thank you. Good morning. My name is Rick Richman and I am a proud member of Alateen. Hi, Rick. And these are the 12 steps we must take. One, we admit we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable. Two, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Three, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the will of God. As we understood him.
Made a searching and fearless mental inventory of ourselves.
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Five, made it to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact natures of our wrongs.
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Six, we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Seven, humbly ask him to remove all our shortcomings. Eight, made a list of persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Nine, made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Ten, continue to take personal inventory and remember your wrong promptly admitted.
Eleven, sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for his knowledge of his will and the power to carry that out. Twelve, having a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others to practice these principles in all our affairs. Thank you. Thank you. Now I'd like to introduce the speaker for today.
His name is Morty H., and he's from Ohio. Hi. My name is Morty Hope. I want to thank Mary, Joe, and Betty for a good lead today. I'm 14 years old. I'm from Newark, Ohio. My group's named Smellin' Builders Out Team Group. Well, I guess I was more or less raised with five brothers and three sisters. Four brothers have been involved with the AA, which one still is, and he's in the Army. Hope it works on him, but I have nine uncles.
Six of us go to AA meetings. I have six aunts, three of which drink. I have two brother-in-laws, one of which is in AA, and he has a year. He has Friday. My mother and father were both married before. My mother's first husband died young. He was only drunk like once a year, and that was maybe on New Year's Day, and that was it. My father's first wife recently died of cancer due to alcoholism. She was put in several treatment centers.
She signed herself out of the hospital several times. She just couldn't admit that she did have a drinking problem. Well, my mother and father got married in 1965. They got burned on Earth in 1966. My parents, they was married 14 years to each other. They got a divorce ending June. They started, you know. My father, when he went to court, he got temporary custody of me. That never lasted long because my sister fought for me and got full custody of me.
Well, I moved to three different states before I was three years old. My father just quit jobs to move to a better place, always from troubles. He could not admit that he did have a drinking problem. He was also put in treatment later on, I'll tell you. I can remember lots of car wrecks talked about before I was too old to know about them. And one was when my father fell asleep at the wheel of a 65 Chevy, brand new.
They wrapped it around a tree and they took it straight to the junkyard. He had pretty bad. When I was four, I was just treated for hyperactive child. My parents always reminded me however active I was. Both my parents drunk. They always said that's why they drank, because I always make them nervous running up and down the halls. Anything to get attention, I would do. When I was six, we moved to a little village east of North Cahia from the city to help us all get closer together.
Until he gets that fixed. My father, he would leave for work like maybe six o'clock in the morning.
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Maybe he'd have a couple of drinks before he went to work. Then after he went to work, especially on paydays, he wouldn't return until about three o'clock in the morning. My father was wondering where he was. Maybe he worked over, but staggering in the door, unless he worked pretty hard. I played sports for short times because of the hassle of getting me to practice. That my father, maybe one day he would say, well, Marty, I'm going to take you to football practice or whatever tomorrow.
So I'd be looking forward to it. While I was at school, maybe he went out and drank a little bit and maybe sobered up a little and didn't feel good. I wouldn't get to practice. Sometimes my neighbors took me in. When I got home, my father wasn't there. But he had enough gas to go out, get himself on a drink, stay out about three days. I got myself into a pity bag so I would quit. A lot had to do with the nagging, putting people out of the way.
That was also another thing my dad was good at. He'd always make you feel bad. He'd say, well, you know you're putting me out of your way, but I'll take you anyhow or do something. Never moved around to it. He always said, nah, forget about it. So like I said, my father, after the divorce, he got temporary custody of me. That was the beginning of this school year. I mostly stayed with my sister who lives in Tavessa, Ohio.
I stayed with her half the school year. When we went back to court, I told Judge I stayed with her a lot and I wanted to live with her. I started living with her until everything went wrong. My father, he got put in a hospital. Well, he said it was for drinking, but him and his kids, well, except for one, well, it wasn't his kid, but they said, you know, they all smoked dope. A lot of it I think he was smoking dope, but he's 56 years old.
I don't see no sense in a 56-year-old man smoking dope. Well, it got all around. My sister got the whole custody of me. Well, she's pregnant. I kind of made her nervous. It got around that I was going to go live with my other sister. So I'm still with them. They got me in this group, thanks, because it really helped me out. I was in this group. It started two years ago. I didn't get to a lot of meetings.
My sister, she has a two-year-old kid. Well, you, boy. Wait a minute. Let me get things straight here. Okay, yeah. My dad was in the hospital for 28 days. It works. Dad was in the hospital for 28 days. He put his time in, me and my brother and sisters. Some of you guys might know Dr. Kendi from North Ohio. I don't know if you guys do. Norkahia, I don't know if you guys do, but he got us in there and we told some things about my dad when he was drinking, how he hurt us kids.
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You know, sometimes my dad wouldn't know that he did do this stuff. But, well, I couldn't say it helped him because as soon as he got out of the hospital, he stayed sober for maybe four weeks at the most, maybe. Then he went out and he got drunk and he told me it was just because he wanted to see what it was like. You know, that was always the reason, that and I made him nervous. I don't see how I made him nervous with all that drinking.
He popped nerve pills. Him and Mom. Boy, they used to take them every hour. Supposedly calmed me down, but it worked, I guess. I got in third grade, well, yeah, and the teacher said that I didn't need this medicine. And, you know, Mom and Dad wanted to keep me on this medicine. I didn't make them nervous, you know. But they didn't have no reason to drink. Why do you drink? I can't make you nervous with this medicine.
Supposedly calmed me down. Well, it did calm me down a lot, you know. But the teacher said I didn't need it, you know. So they took me off of it in third grade. Well, they had a reason to drink again, you know. So I got pretty close with the neighbors, you know. I'd go up there and maybe stay half the night and that way I couldn't make them nervous. Because I was with the neighbor. Maybe the neighbors started taking nerve pills, I don't know.
But I got 12 years old right around there. And when my father had temporary custody, you know, he would go out and get drunk for me. You know, I'd come home from school, wouldn't be nobody home, you know. I figured, well, I know where they are. They're out, Drudge Club, maybe getting drunk. You know, I got where that was normal. You know, I'd come home from school and maybe there was nobody home. So my cousins lived right next door.
I used to go over there and I'd stay long enough to eat dinner. Boy, I'll tell you, he could fix mushrooms. They was good. And so whenever my parents would come home, I might be sleeping on the couch over there, I'd get over home and, you know, you couldn't sleep. Oh, you're dirty no good, you know, dirty names. You're sitting in bed and you listen to them holler and breaking glasses and, you know.
It really got pretty bad until one time they came home and they was both drunk. I mean, Dad was halfway drunk and Mom was plastered. And when she gets plastered, she isn't that funny, you know. Well, got home and Mom says, how about that Kentuckian girl? And he says, oh, yeah. He says, what about her? She says, you know what, and started calling me a bunch of dirty names. Picked up a glass and broke it on the floor and Dad drove back and was going to hit her.
A couple of times he gave her a black eye. One time I can remember we lived in a trailer and Dad was out drinking the day before this. He didn't feel so hot, you know, that night his boy came in. He says, hey, Dad, how about loaning me $20?
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Didn't have no, don't have no money. Well, boy went over and seen his billboard laying on the end table. He says, well, Dad, here's $20. And he says, boy, he got up out of that couch. This boy, he could really run too. He went up a hill and you couldn't hardly see him. Mom went and stepped in the door so Dad wouldn't go chase him. He couldn't have caught him anyhow. Mom stepped in the door to stop him.
He got so mad that he started choking Mom, you know, sitting there choking her. All of us kids jumped on him. Boy, he felt pretty bad that day, you know, choking his own wife. You know, that's what alcohol does to him. Well, I guess that's when we moved into the house. Our whole neighborhood, I mean, from one hill to the other, drank. And a guy named Bob lived across the street. And my brother, you know, anytime he wanted any beer, he could go right over there and get it too.
You know, that way my dad could hide it. You know, he could go over there and ask him for a beer and Mom would never even know it. Well, got that my mom found out. And like I said, my father, he always drank. He would go for maybe three months without drinking sometimes. And then it would become a holiday, July the 4th. He's gone for the holiday and plus two more days. He's out sitting in a bar somewhere, you know.
Mom, when she would drive a car, we would always hunt for his truck. And it could be sitting right on the main street and Mom could pass it. You know, I had an eagle eye for that car. I knew that car by heart. You know, I knew there was a scratch on the back of it or something like that. I usually found him. Junker and a skunk. Boy, he smelled like a beer factory one time. Well, my brother Billy, he used to be able to walk in them bars and come out and hold Dad up, you know.
No troubles. Well, I'll tell you, I couldn't do that. He'd say, get out of here, you know. Go get your Mom, something like that. You know, my Mom would sit and cry for maybe two hours. Oh, I don't know why I don't divorce him or do all this garbage, you know. Ten years ago, I think she should have divorced him. From what I hear of him, he got birthed today. Talk about him, oh yeah, that old drunkard.
You know, we used to sit here and do push-ups, you know. You sit here and fight. Dad was, when he would get a few drinks in him, he'd think he's King Kong, you know. With anybody walking on two feet. Well, sometimes he could, sometimes he couldn't. Sometimes he'd come home really bad shape. But he lived along with it. Well, his boy, Marion, he took right after his Dad, you know. He'd drink a lot too.
When he would drink, he would still. Well, that stilling was going on down Columbus, Sears Place. The dummy knew there was a bunch of cops around there. It was last day of parole. Just got out of the pen, last day of parole. Sits in there and takes three CVs, whole truckload of gifts. Sits there and walks up to the cop and he says, what's that in the back? And he says, oh, my toys. You know, the cop knew he was stealing it.
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So, back to the pen he went. Well, he finally got out three years ago, two years ago, somewhere around there. And a Heath cop was chasing him one time. And, you know, he slammed the car on the side of the road and he outran every cop around there. You know, they couldn't find him. There was no way, you know. If he would have got caught, maybe he would have went back, maybe not. He's 27 years old and he spent, ever since he was 16 in there, ten years at a time sometimes.
But, and Danny, my other dad's boy, he drank a lot too. He's been put in centers. He was in a center for 28 days, never helped him one bit. Smokes dope, drinks beer as he please. Lives with my dad now. $1,000 stereo set and thinks he's big poop. Dad buys a beer for him and has a good old time. Next door neighbor named Phil, he's really a good beer putter away too. You can really put it away. And the house next to him too.
And the house next to him too. And that trailer sits on top of the hill too. And the big old greenhouse sits at the bottom of the hill too. We used to have a guy who had a bus, more or less. Looked like a garbage truck. He lived in that thing for five years. Never knew it was the state's property. The state walked up to him one time and he says, hey, you know you're on our property? He says, no, this is my best friend's property.
The state made a deal with him, if he could keep the property up, he could keep his house or trailer there. Well, he would maybe get $165 a month. He would go. My brother would go over to his house. My brother was only 17, 18. They'd sit there and they'd drink. Put maybe a fifth of the whiskey away. Not think nothing of it. Well. Oh, okay. Well, Lyra had learned in Nalatine to deal with drinking problems.
So I think stay away from him when he's drinking. When he's mean, stay away from him. I learned the serenity prayer. That means a lot to me, you know. I never learned a lot of things. I really learned that though. I know most of the steps by heart now. I know the closing almost. I know some of the opening. I just, I'm happy where I live now. I think I'll always be happy where I live now. This is my first lead.
And I just hope I can stay here. Thanks. Well, before we close this meeting this morning, we'd like to present this to Morgan for leading. Thank you. Thank you.