Transcript

[00:00:00.740 – 00:00:07.340] Experience, strength, and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. [00:00:07.340 – 00:00:12.150] The only requirement for membership is a s- desire to stop drinking. [00:00:12.150 – 00:00:15.580] There are no dues or fees for AA membership. [00:00:15.580 – 00:00:18.700] We are self-supporting through our own contributions. [00:00:18.700 – 00:00:25.600] AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution. [00:00:25.600 – 00:00:32.580] Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. [00:00:32.580 – 00:00:37.480] Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. [00:00:37.480 – 00:00:40.580] My name is John, and I'm an alcoholic.

[00:00:40.580 – 00:00:41.410] Hi, John. [00:00:41.410 – 00:00:41.890] Hi, everybody. [00:00:41.890 – 00:00:52.560] By the grace of God and with the help of a lot of people just like you, and by attempting to practice the principles of this program to the best of my ability one day at a time, I [00:00:52.560 – 00:00:58.420] haven't had to have a drink since the ninth of May of 1971, and for this, I'm truly grateful. [00:00:58.420 – 00:01:08.440] I, uh, give my sobriety date because I came to this program in Dallas, and in Texas they say [00:01:08.440 – 00:01:11.060] if you don't give your sobriety date, you don't have one. [00:01:11.060 – 00:01:12.420] So I've been giving it ever since. [00:01:12.420 – 00:01:22.640] Uh, it's really an honor to be here today, and, uh, especially an honor to

[00:01:22.640 – 00:01:25.060] be able to introduce the man that I'm gonna introduce to you. [00:01:25.060 – 00:01:35.180] Uh, when I first came to AA in Dallas, a little over four years ago, I met [00:01:35.180 – 00:01:45.880] my sponsor, Bill, who most of you know, and he used to take me out to, uh, this couple's house, Bill and Ray, and [00:01:45.880 – 00:01:48.940] we'd listen to these tapes of Chuck. [00:01:48.940 – 00:01:53.740] And for a long time, I thought it was just punishment for being in this thing, you know? [00:01:53.740 – 00:02:02.520] 'Cause, uh, you know, he'd just say, "Sit there." But I noticed that he was listening, too. [00:02:02.520 – 00:02:10.240] And as some of the fog began to lift, I was able to hear some of the things he was saying. [00:02:10.240 – 00:02:20.780] And I remember in one of his tapes, he said that he used to live in a fantasy world, and he used to dream about saving the Pope

[00:02:20.780 – 00:02:21.620] in an earthquake. [00:02:21.620 – 00:02:30.640] And I want to tell you today, introducing him, I feel like I'm almost saving the Pope in an earthquake . [00:02:30.640 – 00:02:40.680] There's no, uh, way that, you know, I can express my gratitude to this man for the help that he's given me [00:02:40.680 – 00:02:41.320] over the years. [00:02:41.320 – 00:02:50.520] And just knowing him and being with him is an honor, but it's an especial honor to present to you today Chuck C. [00:02:50.520 – 00:02:52.120] from Laguna Beach, California. [00:02:52.120 – 00:03:02.960] Thank [00:03:02.960 – 00:03:03.440] you, John.

[00:03:03.440 – 00:03:07.180] I am Chuck C., and I'm an alcoholic. [00:03:07.180 – 00:03:08.420] Hi, Chuck. [00:03:08.420 – 00:03:09.000] Hi. [00:03:09.000 – 00:03:17.420] We've, we have a rather rough act to follow up here this morning. [00:03:17.420 – 00:03:25.980] The leader of the first half of this meeting, chairman, was much prettier than John. [00:03:25.980 – 00:03:32.540] And the speaker in the first half of the meeting was much prettier than me. [00:03:32.540 – 00:03:40.320] But I believe that John and I are much smarter than they were. [00:03:40.320 – 00:03:47.800] So I'll prove that I'm a liar right now.

[00:03:47.800 – 00:03:58.060] I'm happy to be here, very happy indeed, because amongst [00:03:58.060 – 00:04:02.720] you are some of the people that I love most in the world. [00:04:02.720 – 00:04:13.500] Texas, I suspect, I [00:04:13.500 – 00:04:17.899] have covered better than any place else but Southern California. [00:04:17.899 – 00:04:26.360] And of course, Oklahoma is just an outlying part of Texas. [00:04:26.360 – 00:04:32.820] If you could outlay Texas, that'd be right, wouldn't it? [00:04:32.820 – 00:04:42.820] I would like to know, just for my [00:04:42.820 – 00:04:54.120] own information, and if you don't mind doing it, I'd like for the military personnel to stand up so I'll know who, who you are.

[00:04:54.120 – 00:05:04.120] Thanks a [00:05:04.120 – 00:05:04.500] million. [00:05:04.500 – 00:05:15.060] You're in– You're not, uh, really [00:05:15.060 – 00:05:18.540] very safe because we outnumber you about 10 to one. [00:05:18.540 – 00:05:24.180] We'll take over the military, by gad. [00:05:24.180 – 00:05:34.659] If I were talking [00:05:34.660 – 00:05:44.660] r- really just to the military, I would apologize to start with for having to tell them [00:05:44.660 – 00:05:51.420] that if you happen to be an alcoholic, surrender is victory.

[00:05:51.420 – 00:05:58.480] Isn't that a hell of a thing to tell a bunch of military people? [00:05:58.480 – 00:06:03.060] Marines and stuff like that there, you know? [00:06:03.060 – 00:06:06.980] Surrender is victory. [00:06:06.980 – 00:06:17.390] And that's all I can talk about because I'm an alcoholic, which [00:06:17.390 – 00:06:26.850] means to me that I can't drink and live, and that I can't of myself keep from drinking. [00:06:26.850 – 00:06:29.570] That's my dilemma. [00:06:29.570 – 00:06:35.610] I can't drink and live, and of myself I can't keep from drinking. [00:06:35.610 – 00:06:41.150] So something has to happen.

[00:06:41.150 – 00:06:51.230] There has to be a change wrought in me in order that I might not have to drink. [00:06:51.230 – 00:07:01.910] And that change, as far as I'm able to perceive, is quite, uh, [00:07:01.910 – 00:07:05.810] is almost totally built on surrender. [00:07:05.810 – 00:07:12.370] There's a hard way and an easy way to do this program. [00:07:12.370 – 00:07:19.790] The hard way is to try to do it yourself, and the easy way is to know that you can't. [00:07:19.790 – 00:07:23.390] To know that you can't. [00:07:23.390 – 00:07:34.710] It is my opinion that there's not enough intellect in the universe to [00:07:34.710 – 00:07:37.910] get one alcoholic sober and keep him sober.

[00:07:37.910 – 00:07:45.990] There's not enough intellect in the universe to get one alcoholic sober and keep him sober. [00:07:45.990 – 00:07:56.190] So self-knowledge, knowledge of the program, [00:07:56.190 – 00:08:01.590] and knowledge of spiritual things will not do it. [00:08:01.590 – 00:08:04.030] Knowledge can't do it. [00:08:04.030 – 00:08:15.610] We who are alcoholic are very, very fortunate in that alcoholics [00:08:15.610 – 00:08:19.990] sort of love alcoholics. [00:08:19.990 – 00:08:28.770] And that's a good thing because an alcoholic who is practicing is not very easy to love. [00:08:28.770 – 00:08:33.770] It's pretty tough to love a practicing drunk.

[00:08:33.770 – 00:08:40.070] But we do, and that's what makes our program work. [00:08:40.070 – 00:08:52.430] You just heard read here a minute ago, Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share, who [00:08:52.430 – 00:08:55.750] share their experience, strength, and hope one with another. [00:08:55.750 – 00:09:04.390] Caring and sharing is AA, and without that there'd be no recoveries. [00:09:04.390 – 00:09:11.990] We are allowed to get sober by the spirit of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:09:11.990 – 00:09:17.670] We maintain sobriety by the practice and principles. [00:09:17.670 – 00:09:23.330] Nobody ever got sober on principles. [00:09:23.330 – 00:09:27.670] Nobody ever got sober on profundities.

[00:09:27.670 – 00:09:33.270] We get sober by the spirit. [00:09:33.270 – 00:09:43.110] And the spirit of Alcoholics Anonymous is spelled L-O-V-E, love. [00:09:43.110 – 00:09:47.470] And they say that God is love. [00:09:47.470 – 00:09:51.850] And so that's just about the way it is. [00:09:51.850 – 00:09:53.330] That's the pipeline. [00:09:53.330 – 00:09:57.150] From God through you to me. [00:09:57.150 – 00:09:59.690] That's a beautiful thing. [00:09:59.690 – 00:10:09.590] And it's that compassion, that love of one alcoholic for another, that makes this thing possible.

[00:10:09.590 – 00:10:20.530] For instance, I [00:10:20.530 – 00:10:29.050] used to drink with a very good friend of mine forty-five years, pretty close to fifty years ago. [00:10:29.050 – 00:10:39.490] He and I were amongst those that started the first Lions Club in Beverly Hills, [00:10:39.490 – 00:10:40.110] California. [00:10:40.110 – 00:10:44.490] And, uh, he was an automobile painter. [00:10:44.490 – 00:10:51.120] And he had his place right there in Beverly Hills, and [00:10:53.431 – 00:11:03.831] So we used to drink a little together, but only at noon because our club meeting was at noon, and [00:11:03.831 – 00:11:08.271] we'd have a cocktail or two before the meeting.

[00:11:08.271 – 00:11:16.371] And I used to say to myself, "Sure wish I could drink like old Jack," you know, because he did it good. [00:11:16.371 – 00:11:26.331] And he used to say to himself, "I sure wish I could drink like old Chuck," because, you see, we weren't drinking together at night. [00:11:26.331 – 00:11:38.451] Well, when I finally ran out of time thirty years ago, and [00:11:38.451 – 00:11:40.991] came to the program, Jack had already been here for a year. [00:11:40.991 – 00:11:46.541] He'd done drunk up all his paint thinner- … [00:11:46.541 – 00:11:47.611] and was out of business. [00:11:47.611 – 00:11:50.511] So he beat me a year. [00:11:50.511 – 00:12:00.611] And Jack, uh, when he got sober, became, I guess, one of the finest dressers in Beverly Hills,

[00:12:00.611 – 00:12:03.011] and Beverly Hills was noted for dressers. [00:12:03.011 – 00:12:06.391] We had a lot of movie people out there. [00:12:06.391 – 00:12:08.431] And old Jack, he had a wardrobe. [00:12:08.431 – 00:12:12.931] It didn't do him that much good because he wasn't as pretty as I am. [00:12:12.931 – 00:12:17.571] But he sure was a dresser. [00:12:17.571 – 00:12:27.751] And not too long after he had come to the program, gotten sober, he was called on a twelve-step [00:12:27.751 – 00:12:28.091] call. [00:12:28.091 – 00:12:38.861] So he went home and cleaned up, you know, real good and put on his good clothes and

[00:12:38.861 – 00:12:39.831] sallied forth. [00:12:39.831 – 00:12:50.351] And this was a chap who was holed up in a fleabag hotel, and Jack [00:12:50.351 – 00:13:00.351] went down there in his finery and walked in, and the place was just like all rooms alcoholics have drunk [00:13:00.351 – 00:13:01.511] in for a month or two. [00:13:01.511 – 00:13:03.411] It was full of empties. [00:13:03.411 – 00:13:11.611] Had that sticky sweet smell that goes with that kind of a life. [00:13:11.611 – 00:13:21.371] And, uh, the old boy was laying on a cot up against the wall, and Jack walks in in his splendor and starts talking to him. [00:13:21.371 – 00:13:32.271] And the old boy listened a while, and then he came up on his elbow and he looked at Jack, and he says, "Why don't you go home?" He

[00:13:32.271 – 00:13:43.271] says, "You ain't impressing me a bit." And he says, "Besides, I don't think you ever had a drink in your life." Jack says, "Well, maybe I didn't," but [00:13:43.271 – 00:13:53.291] he says, "I've come a long way, and I'm not ready to leave." And noticing a picture on the wall of a donkey with a load of wood on his [00:13:53.291 – 00:14:03.441] back and a Mexican leading him off down the road, old Jack said to this old boy, he says, "By the way," he says, "how long has it been since that mule winked [00:14:03.441 – 00:14:09.811] at you?" And the old boy pretty near fell out of bed. [00:14:09.811 – 00:14:19.911] And he says to Jack, "How do you know that mule winked at me?" Jack says, "Hell, if it had been [00:14:19.911 – 00:14:27.261] me, it'd been in bed with me for three days." And the old boy says, "Sit down. [00:14:27.261 – 00:14:37.731] Sit down." Now, that wasn't too, b- too pr- profound, [00:14:37.731 – 00:14:38.871] I don't think, was it?

[00:14:38.871 – 00:14:43.551] You didn't have to crack the book and read a while to get that one. [00:14:43.551 – 00:14:47.711] It was just sharing, you see. [00:14:47.711 – 00:14:51.371] It was identity. [00:14:51.371 – 00:15:01.511] That established identity with this drunk, and he knew that Jack was just like he was. [00:15:01.511 – 00:15:04.571] And the old boy got sober and stayed sober. [00:15:04.571 – 00:15:08.571] You know, that's what we're talking about. [00:15:08.571 – 00:15:11.051] Identity. [00:15:11.051 – 00:15:14.871] Sometimes the simplest little thing on Earth is the thing that opens the door.

[00:15:14.871 – 00:15:17.951] But it isn't profundity. [00:15:17.951 – 00:15:21.751] It's caring and sharing. [00:15:21.751 – 00:15:24.851] You see, we won't even tell you whether you're an alcoholic or not. [00:15:24.851 – 00:15:28.131] I don't know about old Bill. [00:15:28.131 – 00:15:32.691] He may tell these people up here, "You're a damn alcoholic," to get them in his program. [00:15:32.691 – 00:15:40.131] He's got to have people come into the program, or they can't… [00:15:40.131 – 00:15:44.081] But we don't, we won't tell anybody. [00:15:44.081 – 00:15:47.811] A person comes up to me and says, "You think I'm an alcoholic?" I say, "Don't know.

[00:15:47.811 – 00:15:51.071] I don't know." I'm an alcoholic. [00:15:51.071 – 00:15:54.571] That I know, but I don't know who else is. [00:15:54.571 – 00:16:01.811] If you say you are, I'll believe you, but I can't tell you whether you're an alcoholic or not. [00:16:01.811 – 00:16:07.071] And furthermore, I wouldn't if I could, you see? [00:16:07.071 – 00:16:09.651] Because we don't tell. [00:16:09.651 – 00:16:13.271] We share, and that's the only reason I'm here. [00:16:13.271 – 00:16:18.971] That's the only reason I'm here, to share me with anybody that wants me in love. [00:16:18.971 – 00:16:22.511] That's the only reason I ever get up here.

[00:16:22.511 – 00:16:24.131] I'm not an expert in anything. [00:16:24.131 – 00:16:27.611] I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist. [00:16:27.611 – 00:16:29.291] I'm not a doctor of medicine. [00:16:29.291 – 00:16:30.011] I'm a doctor. [00:16:30.011 – 00:16:32.911] I want you to treat me with respect. [00:16:32.911 – 00:16:43.051] You got a tongue-chewing, babbling, idiot drunk that c- could, if he wanted [00:16:43.051 – 00:16:44.991] to, put doctor before his name. [00:16:44.991 – 00:16:45.771] Now, isn't that something?

[00:16:45.771 – 00:16:53.451] But it isn't academic, thank, uh, thank God, I started to say, because if it was, I wouldn't have it. [00:16:53.451 – 00:16:56.351] I'm not a doctor. [00:16:56.351 – 00:16:57.531] I'm not a psychiatrist. [00:16:57.531 – 00:17:01.231] I'm not an expert on alcoholism. [00:17:01.231 – 00:17:04.491] I'm not an expert in Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:17:04.491 – 00:17:15.471] I am a drunk who, by the grace of God, through the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous and being able to walk with people like you, has [00:17:15.471 – 00:17:24.531] not had a drink or a sedating or tranquilizing pill for over ten thousand eight hundred days. [00:17:24.531 – 00:17:31.270] And that's ten thousand eight hundred days that I wouldn't have had, had it not been for this program.

[00:17:31.270 – 00:17:35.931] So I'm so grateful I can't see. [00:17:35.931 – 00:17:42.451] You know, a lot of people are born and die without eight– without ten thousand eight hundred days of life. [00:17:42.451 – 00:17:48.431] And I've had ten thousand eight hundred days of lagniappe. [00:17:48.431 – 00:17:57.231] I don't know, may-maybe you're too far north to know what lagniappe means. [00:17:57.231 – 00:18:05.551] Lagniappe is a Louisiana Cajun word that means velvet. [00:18:05.551 – 00:18:07.811] It's free. [00:18:07.811 – 00:18:08.971] It's something for nothing. [00:18:08.971 – 00:18:14.331] When you pay your grocery bill, they give you a little s– bag of hard candies.

[00:18:14.331 – 00:18:15.491] Now, that's lagniappe. [00:18:15.491 – 00:18:22.431] Well, I got a little bag that has ten thousand eight hundred days in of lagniappe. [00:18:22.431 – 00:18:26.591] Free, and that's good. [00:18:26.591 – 00:18:35.531] On the third of this month, I just had my seventy-third birthday, and many people think that that's awful. [00:18:35.531 – 00:18:41.831] I think it's absolutely fantastic because the alternative is lousy. [00:18:41.831 – 00:18:51.931] So [00:18:51.931 – 00:18:54.331] I'm very impressed that I'm seventy-three years old. [00:18:54.331 – 00:19:04.331] Now, if I didn't have twenty-nine years and better than six months of sobriety, I wouldn't

[00:19:04.331 – 00:19:05.511] be seventy-three years old. [00:19:05.511 – 00:19:08.951] I wouldn't be seventy-three years old. [00:19:08.951 – 00:19:15.131] I'd be dead because, again, I can't live and drink, and I myself can't keep from drinking. [00:19:15.131 – 00:19:25.211] Now, that's the reason that it's so necessary for us to come to see that we need help. [00:19:25.211 – 00:19:34.291] Now, just for fun, let me run through a few of my friends who are alcoholic, my immediate circle. [00:19:34.291 – 00:19:37.531] My barber's an alcoholic. [00:19:37.531 – 00:19:40.231] You might have thought so when you saw me walk in. [00:19:40.231 – 00:19:47.691] He's an alcoholic.

[00:19:47.691 – 00:19:52.211] I, I put him top of the list because he's the most intelligent of the bunch that I… [00:19:52.211 – 00:19:59.651] We keep those barbers pretty well informed, us alcoholics, you know. [00:19:59.651 – 00:20:05.071] So they're, they're pretty smart, uh, uh, barbers are. [00:20:05.071 – 00:20:07.471] So I put him first. [00:20:07.471 – 00:20:10.651] My barber's an alcoholic. [00:20:10.651 – 00:20:19.011] My dentist is an alcoholic, both of whom are practicing members of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:20:19.011 – 00:20:23.611] My doctor is alcoholic, member of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:20:23.611 – 00:20:27.991] My wife's doctor is alcoholic, member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:20:27.991 – 00:20:33.531] My attorney is an alcoholic, member of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:20:33.531 – 00:20:43.911] And my banker, until two years ago, was an alcoholic, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and he was a, an [00:20:43.911 – 00:20:45.371] internationally known banker. [00:20:45.371 – 00:20:55.831] I have a very good friend, many of you know his wife, who is [00:20:55.831 – 00:20:58.711] known as a world scholar. [00:20:58.711 – 00:21:01.651] Wears a Phi Beta Kappa key. [00:21:01.651 – 00:21:04.371] He has a few doctorates himself. [00:21:04.371 – 00:21:09.071] And he's a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know.

[00:21:09.071 – 00:21:16.351] So alcoholism is not a respecter of persons. [00:21:16.351 – 00:21:24.011] Alcoholism cuts right across the whole fabric of society. [00:21:24.011 – 00:21:32.071] Some of the best ministers and priests that I know are alcoholics, members of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:21:32.071 – 00:21:39.491] So anybody might be an alcoholic. [00:21:42.736 – 00:21:45.136] He's not gonna be an alcoholic unless he is. [00:21:45.136 – 00:21:49.176] Now, you figure that out for yourself. [00:21:49.176 – 00:22:00.996] If alcohol, if alcohol alone caused alcoholics, every [00:22:00.996 – 00:22:05.556] excessive drinker would be an alcoholic, but that isn't the case.

[00:22:05.556 – 00:22:15.556] Many, many, many good old Saturday night drunks are not [00:22:15.556 – 00:22:18.416] alcoholic at all, and many of them do things I never did do. [00:22:18.416 – 00:22:27.136] I've drunk with, with men who would get just as drunk as I did, come home and clean house. [00:22:27.136 – 00:22:33.076] The furniture'd go out the window, and the kids and the wife on top of it. [00:22:33.076 – 00:22:38.256] I never did that in my life. [00:22:38.256 – 00:22:47.956] I never even hit my wife in my life, either under the influence or not under the influence. [00:22:47.956 – 00:22:51.936] It was the other way around in my family. [00:22:51.936 – 00:22:56.296] She'd beat me till her arms were blue.

[00:22:56.296 – 00:23:01.756] Why I didn't haul off and, you know, I, I don't know. [00:23:01.756 – 00:23:03.956] She certainly deserved it. [00:23:03.956 – 00:23:14.796] But this old boy will get up in the morning and shake his head and say, "Uh-oh, got drunk last night, didn't I?" And [00:23:14.796 – 00:23:16.076] he goes on about his business. [00:23:16.076 – 00:23:18.316] He never gets any better, and he never gets any worse. [00:23:18.316 – 00:23:28.556] Now, if alcohol alone caused this illness that we have, he certainly [00:23:28.556 – 00:23:30.196] would be an alcoholic, but he isn't. [00:23:30.196 – 00:23:32.836] It takes something else.

[00:23:32.836 – 00:23:43.176] It takes alcohol plus a certain combination of characteristics with [00:23:43.176 – 00:23:44.376] which we come into this world. [00:23:44.376 – 00:23:54.596] I am convinced that there are only one of, or only a few things, only a few things can happen to us [00:23:54.596 – 00:24:02.526] from the day we're born into this so-called civilization if we be alcoholic. [00:24:02.526 – 00:24:15.426] Uh, we're either gonna be priests or preachers or nuns or hopheads or alcoholics, and [00:24:15.426 – 00:24:25.496] that's from the day we're born because we have a combination of characteristics that will not allow [00:24:25.496 – 00:24:31.936] us to integrate ourselves into the society around us. [00:24:31.936 – 00:24:34.356] We can't do it.

[00:24:34.356 – 00:24:42.396] We are rebels from our date of birth, not by choice. [00:24:42.396 – 00:24:45.416] People think we're rebels by choice. [00:24:45.416 – 00:24:45.915] We're not. [00:24:45.915 – 00:24:56.476] There isn't a person on the face of the Earth that would so much like to be a part of life as an alcoholic. [00:24:56.476 – 00:25:06.656] We want so much to be a part of, and we walk alone, apart [00:25:06.656 – 00:25:15.656] from, not again by choice but because we have to. [00:25:15.656 – 00:25:25.716] Now, I've been able to live with people like you for almost thirty years, and [00:25:25.716 – 00:25:35.976] I am totally convinced from the top of my longest hair to my toenails that every human being

[00:25:35.976 – 00:25:37.876] on the face of the Earth is God's child. [00:25:37.876 – 00:25:41.416] I believe that with everything in me. [00:25:41.416 – 00:25:51.476] The first two words of the Lord's Prayer says, "Our Father," and you'll remember that when that was [00:25:51.476 – 00:26:01.656] said, first time that we have any record of, they said, "Master, teach us to pray." And the man [00:26:01.656 – 00:26:04.296] says, "After this manner, pray ye. [00:26:04.296 – 00:26:08.616] Our Father," his Father, your Father, and mine. [00:26:08.616 – 00:26:19.156] Now, if that be true, it's absolutely beyond our imagination, and [00:26:19.156 – 00:26:20.956] I'm totally convinced that it's true.

[00:26:20.956 – 00:26:24.896] Every one of us are God's kids. [00:26:24.896 – 00:26:30.576] Whether we believe it or not, whether we like it or not, even if we deny it, we can't change it. [00:26:30.576 – 00:26:33.396] We're God's kids. [00:26:33.396 – 00:26:40.996] And as such, every one of us has the characteristics that I'm gonna mention. [00:26:40.996 – 00:26:47.996] But only the alcoholic get them in the combination that we do. [00:26:47.996 – 00:26:54.496] For instance, I have met alcoholics practically all over this world. [00:26:54.496 – 00:26:58.616] I might have met as many of them as anybody. [00:26:58.616 – 00:26:59.236] I don't know.

[00:26:59.236 – 00:27:09.416] But I've met them by the tens of thousands all over the world, and I never met an alcoholic, regardless of race, creed, [00:27:09.416 – 00:27:19.456] or color, regardless of education or the lack of it, which side of the tracks [00:27:19.456 – 00:27:22.436] we're born on, to the contrary, makes no difference. [00:27:22.436 – 00:27:32.696] I have never met an alcoholic that wasn't a perfectionist, an idealist with that terrific [00:27:32.696 – 00:27:39.596] drive for excellence that provided this cliché that we've heard all our lives. [00:27:39.596 – 00:27:44.736] This is the best soldier we ever had in the regiment, but… [00:27:44.736 – 00:27:51.952] Best mechanic we ever had in the shop, but… [00:27:51.952 – 00:27:56.292] Best doctor that ever hit this part of the country.

[00:27:56.292 – 00:27:59.232] I was going to say judge, but I can't do that. [00:27:59.232 – 00:28:05.192] We heard about a judge a while ago. [00:28:05.192 – 00:28:09.932] He's got enough publicity in this deal. [00:28:09.932 – 00:28:15.212] Best doctor that ever hit this part of the country, but… [00:28:15.212 – 00:28:22.952] Best stenographer we ever had in the office, but she can't make it down there until about of a Tuesday or Wednesday. [00:28:22.952 – 00:28:29.252] Terrific drive for excellence. [00:28:29.252 – 00:28:36.992] Now, perfectionism is a beautiful thing when we learn to live in– live with it. [00:28:36.992 – 00:28:40.632] But until we do, it's a killer.

[00:28:40.632 – 00:28:51.212] It'll kill us because it makes us demand more of ourselves than we can put out, and we are forever disappointed [00:28:51.212 – 00:28:52.312] in our own performance. [00:28:52.312 – 00:28:58.772] And it makes us demand more of the people around us than they can put out. [00:28:58.772 – 00:29:03.592] And that makes it necessary for us to make them over. [00:29:03.592 – 00:29:11.552] You, uh, you, you, uh, Al-Anons never noticed that, did you? [00:29:11.552 – 00:29:20.432] I spent thirty years trying to make the world over so it'd be a fit place for me to live in. [00:29:20.432 – 00:29:24.272] And I got news for you, it ain't ready. [00:29:24.272 – 00:29:27.792] Don't waste your time.

[00:29:27.792 – 00:29:37.892] It further makes it impossible for us to integrate ourselves [00:29:37.892 – 00:29:43.232] into the society around us because we don't like it. [00:29:43.232 – 00:29:46.092] It's not up to our pattern. [00:29:46.092 – 00:29:49.512] We don't like it. [00:29:49.512 – 00:29:56.432] It's one of the biggest problems I had. [00:29:56.432 – 00:30:01.932] I have been a rebel since I can remember, and not by choice. [00:30:01.932 – 00:30:11.952] Secondly, every one of us come here with the interior awareness that life is a good, a [00:30:11.952 – 00:30:13.772] big, and a beautiful thing.

[00:30:13.772 – 00:30:18.412] I knew when I was six years old that life should be like it is now. [00:30:18.412 – 00:30:23.832] But I looked at it, and it was dirty, and it was cheap, and it was ugly. [00:30:23.832 – 00:30:27.032] And I didn't like it. [00:30:27.032 – 00:30:30.652] People lied to each other. [00:30:30.652 – 00:30:33.072] People stepped on each other's necks to get ahead. [00:30:33.072 – 00:30:43.072] It just didn't fit with the picture I had of life, and so I [00:30:43.072 – 00:30:44.672] couldn't integrate myself in it. [00:30:44.672 – 00:30:53.812] As I said, I haven't had a drink for almost thirty years.

[00:30:53.812 – 00:31:03.852] And every time I think of the little scene in The Days of Wine and Roses, where this gal had come back to the [00:31:03.852 – 00:31:14.112] apartment of her ex-husband, trying to talk him into rejoining her in the drinking life, and he's trying [00:31:14.112 – 00:31:18.552] to, to coax her to join him in AA. [00:31:18.552 – 00:31:21.902] And she's standing there looking out the window. [00:31:21.902 – 00:31:26.592] And he's talking to her, begging her to join him in this program. [00:31:26.592 – 00:31:36.921] And she finally says, "I can't, I can't, I can't." She says, "When I look out this window sober, it's [00:31:36.921 – 00:31:39.171] cheap, and it's dirty, and it's ugly. [00:31:39.171 – 00:31:46.132] And when I look out drunk, it's beautiful." That just tears the heart out of me.

[00:31:46.132 – 00:31:47.772] And I haven't had a drink for thirty years. [00:31:47.772 – 00:31:57.252] For twenty-five years of my life, the only way I could stand what I looked at was to be half in the bag. [00:31:57.252 – 00:32:03.972] And it wasn't the way I wanted it to be. [00:32:03.972 – 00:32:09.412] I wanted to belong, and I couldn't. [00:32:09.412 – 00:32:19.412] And the next thing, and I don't want you to tell anybody, and I hope there are no psychiatrists in the [00:32:19.412 – 00:32:29.872] crowd, because the next thing I'm going to say is the most incongruous thing that you'll ever hear coming out of the mouth of a tongue-chewing, babbling [00:32:29.872 – 00:32:31.112] idiot drunk. [00:32:31.112 – 00:32:33.942] We are a highly

[00:32:34.288 – 00:32:35.468] We sensitive people. [00:32:35.468 – 00:32:39.648] Put that in your pipe and smoke it. [00:32:39.648 – 00:32:45.188] Well, there we lay in the gutter, and the pig got up and slowly walked away. [00:32:45.188 – 00:32:53.688] Now, the world around us think we belong there or think we like it there. [00:32:53.688 – 00:33:03.108] They don't know that we hate that gutter better n- uh, worse than anybody that ever lived because we know that gutter. [00:33:03.108 – 00:33:04.688] Sergeant Strick. [00:33:04.688 – 00:33:08.748] Sergeant Strick, you have a telephone call, one-three. [00:33:08.748 – 00:33:13.988] Whoever that is, tell them to shut up, will you?

[00:33:13.988 – 00:33:21.788] And, and, uh, time them because I don't want this against my time. [00:33:21.788 – 00:33:32.068] We are a highly sensitive [00:33:32.068 – 00:33:32.468] people. [00:33:32.468 – 00:33:38.407] This is the reason that the psychiatrists of the world label us as emotionally immature. [00:33:38.407 – 00:33:45.108] It sort of curls my hair when people are talking about emotional immaturity. [00:33:45.108 – 00:33:46.188] Emotional immaturity. [00:33:46.188 – 00:33:49.288] I don't think it's emotional immaturity. [00:33:49.288 – 00:33:54.128] For instance, I've got a beautiful window to look out of now.

[00:33:54.128 – 00:34:02.228] I look down on the town of Laguna Beach and out over the ocean to the islands and clear to China. [00:34:02.228 – 00:34:04.208] It's a beautiful spot. [00:34:04.208 – 00:34:14.488] Now, uh, if I were lying there on my living room floor, so drunk I couldn't even raise my head, crying [00:34:14.488 – 00:34:24.528] my eyes out over a beautiful sunset, psychiatrist would walk in, and he'd say, "Emotional immaturity." He [00:34:24.528 – 00:34:26.568] don't know it's so damn pretty he can't stand it. [00:34:26.568 – 00:34:29.788] He don't know that. [00:34:29.788 – 00:34:32.908] You see? [00:34:32.908 – 00:34:33.948] Because it, it's…

[00:34:33.948 – 00:34:35.688] that's not the way with him. [00:34:35.688 – 00:34:43.888] Couple of years ago, I was sitting on the knobs above the High, High River right out of Louisville. [00:34:43.888 – 00:34:49.788] And it was in s- in October, and the leaves had all changed. [00:34:49.788 – 00:34:55.888] And I was all by myself, and I sat there for an hour just blubbering like a damn baby, all alone. [00:34:55.888 – 00:35:02.368] I don't think it's emotional immaturity. [00:35:02.368 – 00:35:06.488] It's so beautiful it hurts, you know? [00:35:06.488 – 00:35:12.588] Now, I've talked to more people than this in Folsom Prison. [00:35:12.588 – 00:35:17.768] And you can't get in Folsom Prison for murder if it's the first time.

[00:35:17.768 – 00:35:27.708] You gotta be an habitual criminal to get in Folsom. [00:35:27.708 – 00:35:30.908] You gotta be f- f- a four-time loser. [00:35:30.908 – 00:35:40.928] Those monkeys up there tell me that the swallows that build in those walls up there, uh, used [00:35:40.928 – 00:35:42.288] to build in Capistrano. [00:35:42.288 – 00:35:44.888] But they're four-time losers. [00:35:44.888 – 00:35:48.688] So now they build up there in the walls. [00:35:48.688 – 00:35:58.728] And I've stood up there talking to those guys who are supposed to be hardened criminals and [00:35:58.728 – 00:36:05.328] watched them bawl right along with me and the tears bouncing off their bellies, and no one of them trying to conceal it.

[00:36:05.328 – 00:36:10.228] And it wasn't because they were emotionally immature. [00:36:10.228 – 00:36:14.568] It was because they felt right here exactly like I do. [00:36:14.568 – 00:36:22.488] They felt inside just like I did, and they, they cried. [00:36:22.488 – 00:36:27.588] And they weren't ashamed, and it wasn't because they were emotionally immature. [00:36:27.588 – 00:36:30.668] This is one of our biggest problems. [00:36:30.668 – 00:36:40.868] Long before you ever had a drink, if you be alcoholic, you started building walls to keep things from hurting you and people from hurting [00:36:40.868 – 00:36:41.028] you. [00:36:41.028 – 00:36:50.328] To, to keep from getting hurt anymore.

[00:36:50.328 – 00:37:00.468] I checked off places and things and jobs and country clubs and everything that you can think of [00:37:00.468 – 00:37:07.068] I chipped off going down this drinking path because they hurt me. [00:37:07.068 – 00:37:08.368] They hurt me. [00:37:08.368 – 00:37:16.428] I chipped off everything in- as time went on but my wife and my kids. [00:37:16.428 – 00:37:26.488] And I loved my wife and my kids, but I couldn't tell them anymore because, you see, I'd told them before, and [00:37:26.488 – 00:37:27.828] I was still crucifying them. [00:37:27.828 – 00:37:32.528] And I didn't want to chip them off. [00:37:32.528 – 00:37:33.928] I wanted to keep them.

[00:37:33.928 – 00:37:35.708] You know something? [00:37:35.708 – 00:37:37.488] They chipped me off. [00:37:37.488 – 00:37:44.608] And finally, I was all alone with nobody but me. [00:37:44.608 – 00:37:49.868] Now, that's the plight of an alcoholic. [00:37:49.868 – 00:38:00.148] Now, just for fun, I used to lie there in a bed just that far from my wife's, and [00:38:00.148 – 00:38:06.248] I would wait until she was asleep, and I knew by her breathing that she was asleep. [00:38:06.248 – 00:38:16.308] And then I'd cry me up a river because I was crucifying her and I knew it, and the kids I was crucifying, and [00:38:16.308 – 00:38:16.748] I knew it.

[00:38:16.748 – 00:38:19.348] But I couldn't do anything about it. [00:38:19.348 – 00:38:24.288] I wanted to take her in my arms and say, "Honey, I love you. [00:38:24.288 – 00:38:33.548] I'll never do this again." But I already done it a hundred times, and I couldn't do it anymore. [00:38:33.548 – 00:38:42.768] And there was nothing left but to cry up a river, which I did on many occasions. [00:38:42.768 – 00:38:52.708] You see, alcoholism is a living problem, and you and I have to have a living answer. [00:38:52.708 – 00:38:55.588] A living answer. [00:38:55.588 – 00:38:59.068] For instance, why am I not drunk right now? [00:38:59.068 – 00:39:05.468] This is Sunday, you know, and I'm quite a ways from home.

[00:39:05.468 – 00:39:08.748] Miss C isn't with me. [00:39:08.748 – 00:39:13.428] And I'm sure there's nobody in this audience that'd tell on me. [00:39:13.428 – 00:39:21.208] Old Bill would get it on tape and send it all over the world. [00:39:21.208 – 00:39:30.068] Why am I not drunk right now? [00:39:30.068 – 00:39:31.388] There's only one reason. [00:39:31.388 – 00:39:32.668] Just one. [00:39:32.668 – 00:39:33.828] There's not two. [00:39:33.828 – 00:39:44.008] There is just one reason that I'm not drunk right now, and that is because there's nothing

[00:39:44.008 – 00:39:54.048] in a bottle or in a needle or in a pill or in a funny cigarette or in acid that can do [00:39:54.048 – 00:39:55.768] anything to me but tear me down. [00:39:55.768 – 00:40:05.028] There is nothing that can add to my state of being in the way of chemicals. [00:40:05.028 – 00:40:07.068] The only thing they can do is tear me down. [00:40:07.068 – 00:40:11.488] Because you see, I've got the thing I was looking for in the bottle. [00:40:11.488 – 00:40:12.608] I've got it. [00:40:12.608 – 00:40:15.468] Now, what's the thing? [00:40:15.468 – 00:40:18.268] I don't hurt in here anymore.

[00:40:18.268 – 00:40:22.148] That king-size hurt is gone. [00:40:22.148 – 00:40:28.068] I'm not fighting me or you or life or God or the devil. [00:40:28.068 – 00:40:34.068] I'm at peace with me and with you and with my very own God. [00:40:34.068 – 00:40:37.008] And that's the only reason I'm not drunk. [00:40:37.008 – 00:40:47.148] That's the only [00:40:47.148 – 00:40:47.588] reason. [00:40:47.588 – 00:40:54.108] Because when an alcoholic gets to feeling a certain right– a certain way right here, he wakes up drunk. [00:40:54.108 – 00:41:05.248] I've heard many people who have been sober a while, and we have to watch many people who've been sober quite a long time, who

[00:41:05.248 – 00:41:09.088] forget and are drunk again. [00:41:09.088 – 00:41:15.648] I've heard many people say, "But you've got to think to drink if you've been sober a while. [00:41:15.648 – 00:41:19.208] You've simply got to think to drink." You don't have to do anything of the kind. [00:41:19.208 – 00:41:24.988] All you have to do is to quit doing the things that keep you comfortable right here. [00:41:24.988 – 00:41:28.188] That's all you have to do. [00:41:28.188 – 00:41:33.628] Just quit doing the things that keep you comfortable, and you'll wake up drunk. [00:41:33.628 – 00:41:43.648] Because you see, we have to be comfortable, and we couldn't get comfortable [00:41:43.648 – 00:41:47.368] up until now, up until AA.

[00:41:47.368 – 00:41:50.828] We are a peculiar breed of cats. [00:41:50.828 – 00:41:55.988] We can't hear till we can hear, and we can't see till we can see. [00:41:55.988 – 00:42:07.118] We have another peculiarity that pretty nearly, uh, we have almost a monopoly on, and [00:42:07.118 – 00:42:10.468] that is we have very little respect for authority. [00:42:10.468 – 00:42:20.528] You tell us, "Don't do this," and we say, "Why?" And they flip [00:42:20.528 – 00:42:32.888] open the book, and they say, "It says right here," and we say, "Who wrote it?" So [00:42:32.888 – 00:42:36.428] we can't hear till we can hear, and we can't see till we can see. [00:42:36.428 – 00:42:41.027] And how long it takes, it takes, and what it takes, it takes.

[00:42:41.027 – 00:42:51.078] Just for instance, on my [00:42:51.078 – 00:43:01.148] next to last drunk, I traveled some six thousand miles in blackout in [00:43:01.148 – 00:43:02.528] my own car, and I was driving. [00:43:02.528 – 00:43:06.978] Now, that's not recommended for longevity. [00:43:06.978 – 00:43:14.028] But I was lucky. [00:43:14.028 – 00:43:24.208] I came through here pretty close, you know, because I drove from Beverly Hills to Louisville, Kentucky to North Michigan and back to the coast, [00:43:24.208 – 00:43:25.248] and I- [00:43:25.433 – 00:43:26.653] remember five percent of it.

[00:43:26.653 – 00:43:32.473] And the five percent's pretty juicy, and if I had time, I'd tell you, but I'll get it the next time. [00:43:32.473 – 00:43:39.233] I finally got home, and I went to bed to finish my drunk. [00:43:39.233 – 00:43:44.473] I finished all my drunks in the last ten years in bed, drinking the clock around. [00:43:44.473 – 00:43:54.593] And I never quit drinking until I could no longer move, when [00:43:54.593 – 00:43:59.993] I couldn't even roll out of bed to see if I had a bottle under to, to go look and see where I'd hid one. [00:43:59.993 – 00:44:10.853] And incidentally, just for the fun of it, there is nothing on the face of the Earth that's so frustrating to [00:44:10.853 – 00:44:19.753] a keen alcoholic mind than to know he's got a bottle in the house and can't find it. [00:44:19.753 – 00:44:22.353] And he's the guy that hid it.

[00:44:22.353 – 00:44:27.033] That's the most frustrating thing on the face of the Earth. [00:44:27.033 – 00:44:33.252] So anyway, the time came when I had to quit drinking, and I did. [00:44:33.252 – 00:44:41.273] And maybe 24 hours after the last drink, I was able to go to the kitchen for a glass of buttermilk, which I did. [00:44:41.273 – 00:44:43.033] And Dick and Mrs. [00:44:43.033 – 00:44:43.223] C. [00:44:43.223 – 00:44:44.453] were sitting in the living room. [00:44:44.453 – 00:44:54.493] They heard me let out a bellow and heard me hit the floor, and they came trotting out to the kitchen to see, uh, what they could do to keep me from [00:44:54.493 – 00:45:04.773] swallowing my tongue because they figured I was in an alcoholic convulsion, which was my wont.

[00:45:04.773 – 00:45:07.713] But I wasn't. [00:45:07.713 – 00:45:15.553] I'd done run out of convulsions, and I was lying there on the kitchen floor just peaceful as anybody you ever saw. [00:45:15.553 – 00:45:18.133] I wasn't doing nothing. [00:45:18.133 – 00:45:23.793] They say that I was a peculiar color. [00:45:23.793 – 00:45:26.093] I was blue. [00:45:26.093 – 00:45:29.013] And they couldn't wake me up. [00:45:29.013 – 00:45:38.053] So they got exercised and called the oxygen squad at the Beverly Hills Receiving Hospital and told them to get down there and wake me up. [00:45:38.053 – 00:45:41.253] And I have reason to believe that they did.

[00:45:41.253 – 00:45:47.853] Well, after I came to, I remember what happened. [00:45:47.853 – 00:45:57.853] There was a young doctor with them, and he told me that to all intents and purposes, I had been dead, that they'd had a hell of a time waking me up, that [00:45:57.853 – 00:46:01.013] nobody would ever wake me up again under those circumstances. [00:46:01.013 – 00:46:12.753] And he looked me right in the eye, and he said, "If I were you, I wouldn't do that anymore." Now, [00:46:12.753 – 00:46:18.553] for you who are brand new in this program, I'm gonna repeat that beautiful counsel. [00:46:18.553 – 00:46:21.593] If I were you, I wouldn't do that anymore. [00:46:21.593 – 00:46:30.133] I dood it again, but, uh, that's a different thing. [00:46:30.133 – 00:46:40.233] Probably another 24 hours had gone by, and I was able to get the old dirty bathrobe on and start walking up and down the living room floor.

[00:46:40.233 – 00:46:44.533] You see, in my day, there weren't any drying out houses. [00:46:44.533 – 00:46:53.573] I think there were two things, Keeley Cure and, uh, Good Samaritan, that they talked about a good deal. [00:46:53.573 – 00:47:03.633] But the fella I told you about, you know, this Jack, they threw him out of the Good Samaritan because they said they were ruining [00:47:03.633 – 00:47:04.233] his business. [00:47:04.233 – 00:47:09.333] He was a repeater. [00:47:09.333 – 00:47:19.393] So the only way I knew to sober up was to die until I could get well, and I did [00:47:19.393 – 00:47:20.373] it mainly walking. [00:47:20.373 – 00:47:26.933] And here I am walking up and down the living room floor, sweating, freezing, shaking, dying, and walking.

[00:47:26.933 – 00:47:28.763] And Mrs. [00:47:28.763 – 00:47:32.133] C.'s standing over the fireplace, and I'm walking away from her. [00:47:32.133 – 00:47:42.073] And she says, "Chuck, don't you think you might get a little help if you'd read the book Alcoholics Anonymous?" And she might as well have hit me with a ball bat. [00:47:42.073 – 00:47:54.653] I turned on her like a lion, and I said, "You, my very own wife, suggesting that I read a book written by a bunch of drunks." "I [00:47:54.653 – 00:48:05.073] who have read all the good books by the good authors, and you want me," wife says, "You wound me deeply." Now, I'd just been dead 48 hours before. [00:48:05.073 – 00:48:08.373] And she wounded me deeply. [00:48:08.373 – 00:48:18.393] And I polished her off completely by saying, "And besides, I can write a better book than that myself." Now, the [00:48:18.393 – 00:48:19.953] point to this story is this.

[00:48:19.953 – 00:48:28.553] That was just 90 days before I came crawling into this fellowship of ours, just 90 days. [00:48:28.553 – 00:48:32.733] I had been drinking 25 years. [00:48:32.733 – 00:48:41.273] I had spent 10 years in hell by this time, the last 10 of a 25-year drinking career. [00:48:41.273 – 00:48:50.273] And she wounded me deeply by even suggesting that I read the book Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:48:50.273 – 00:48:55.793] We can't hear till we can hear, and we can't see till we can see, and it don't make a bit of difference who's talking. [00:48:55.793 – 00:49:01.133] And those of us who are working with alcoholics must remember this forever. [00:49:01.133 – 00:49:11.553] Otherwise, they'll kill us because we can go and spoon feed somebody back to health and talk to them and [00:49:11.553 – 00:49:18.893] love them and listen to them, and they listen to us, and they cry with us.

[00:49:18.893 – 00:49:24.493] And we think that, uh, well, this one will never have to drink again. [00:49:24.493 – 00:49:34.769] And we get home and the phone's ringing, and it's the guy's wife, and she says, "The son of a bitch is gone again," before [00:49:34.769 – 00:49:35.549] we even get home. [00:49:35.549 – 00:49:43.969] And we've got to remember that we can't hear till we can hear, and we can't see till we can see. [00:49:43.969 – 00:49:54.429] And this is the reason that the military regulations now won't let them discharge a man for [00:49:54.429 – 00:50:00.629] alcoholism until they've given him a chance at rehabilitation. [00:50:00.629 – 00:50:09.689] But if he won't do it, they can discharge him, and do because they have to. [00:50:09.689 – 00:50:15.989] You see, we can't hear till we can hear, and we can't see till we can see.

[00:50:15.989 – 00:50:22.649] Now, my last trip out, the bottle killed me, thank God. [00:50:22.649 – 00:50:32.749] I can tell you without fear of successful contradiction that the greatest [00:50:32.749 – 00:50:40.689] single event that has ever happened to me in seventy-three years of life was when the bottle killed me in January 1946. [00:50:40.689 – 00:50:47.149] It beat me into total and absolute nothingness. [00:50:47.149 – 00:50:56.749] And in that process, it surrendered me simply by burning up the human ego. [00:50:56.749 – 00:51:01.709] It was burned out, totally burned out. [00:51:01.709 – 00:51:09.069] The best I can figure that one, it was four weeks of total blackout. [00:51:09.069 – 00:51:10.949] I don't remember the time.

[00:51:10.949 – 00:51:18.629] I, I got drunk on the Friday before Christmas 1945 and came to after the middle of January 1946. [00:51:18.629 – 00:51:24.589] And I don't remember that it had been. [00:51:24.589 – 00:51:28.749] Now, if Mrs. [00:51:28.749 – 00:51:38.749] C was telling you this story, and Al-Anons do not lie, much, she'd tell you that when I went [00:51:38.749 – 00:51:42.349] to bed to drink, I destroyed seven quarts of whiskey every three days. [00:51:42.349 – 00:51:48.009] That sounds like a lot to me, uh, but I don't know. [00:51:48.009 – 00:51:48.929] I wasn't there. [00:51:48.929 – 00:51:49.589] She was.

[00:51:49.589 – 00:51:52.429] So I suppose she's right. [00:51:52.429 – 00:52:00.429] And I don't think seven quarts is too much for three days if you only do it for three days. [00:52:00.429 – 00:52:04.689] But if you do it for four weeks, boy, you, you're… [00:52:04.689 – 00:52:09.629] You've destroyed a lot of whiskey, and you've been destroyed. [00:52:09.629 – 00:52:12.549] So that's what happened to me. [00:52:12.549 – 00:52:13.569] Burned me up. [00:52:13.569 – 00:52:21.509] And I came to sometime after the middle of January 1946 with the clearest head I've ever known in my entire lifetime. [00:52:21.509 – 00:52:31.669] I had a period of sanity like which I've never had before or since, and I saw me with nothing between me

[00:52:31.669 – 00:52:32.309] and me. [00:52:32.309 – 00:52:38.429] And I didn't look at a very pretty sight. [00:52:38.429 – 00:52:44.769] I knew, however, without knowing why, because I knew nothing of the disease of alcoholism. [00:52:44.769 – 00:52:46.949] I had made it my business not to know. [00:52:46.949 – 00:52:51.689] But I knew that I'd lost the battle of life. [00:52:51.689 – 00:52:58.969] And that was the first time in forty-three years of life that I had ever admitted defeat. [00:52:58.969 – 00:53:06.449] I had never one time admitted defeat in forty-three years. [00:53:06.449 – 00:53:09.989] But that morning, I knew that I'd lost the battle of life.

[00:53:09.989 – 00:53:19.109] I knew why my wife, after twenty years, was divorcing me, and I knew she should have done it ten year, ten years before. [00:53:19.109 – 00:53:22.649] I knew why our kids wouldn't come home when I was around. [00:53:22.649 – 00:53:33.269] I knew why the, the same boss that had, on the Friday before Christmas 1945, [00:53:33.269 – 00:53:44.429] given me three thousand dollars as a Christmas present to take the pressure off of me so I wouldn't have to have so much trouble the [00:53:44.429 – 00:53:46.429] next year. [00:53:46.429 – 00:53:49.229] And he just plum took the pressure off of me. [00:53:49.229 – 00:53:52.769] I got drunk on the way home. [00:53:52.769 – 00:53:59.789] And I didn't show up till towards the end of January, and he'd missed me.

[00:53:59.789 – 00:54:07.279] And he sent word to the house that if I ever stepped foot in the plant again, he was going to throw me through the window. [00:54:07.279 – 00:54:10.929] And I knew why. [00:54:10.929 – 00:54:15.289] So I accepted myself that morning. [00:54:16.838 – 00:54:22.238] As I was, a total failure in every department of life. [00:54:22.238 – 00:54:32.238] I also accepted death because this was worse than the next to the last time out, and I'd come that close [00:54:32.238 – 00:54:34.138] to dying the next to the last time out. [00:54:34.138 – 00:54:36.458] So I knew I was gonna die and didn't care. [00:54:36.458 – 00:54:39.678] But I didn't want to die with a record.

[00:54:39.678 – 00:54:49.758] I didn't want the little parcel of people that I had loved up until the last to [00:54:49.758 – 00:54:53.458] remember me as nothing but a tongue-chewing, babbling, idiot drunk. [00:54:53.458 – 00:55:01.918] So I must be sober till I die in order to rub out as much of the record as I could before that event. [00:55:01.918 – 00:55:11.168] And I remembered that morning that I had read Jack Alexander's article in the Post in 1941. [00:55:11.168 – 00:55:14.538] I was four sheets to the wind when I read it. [00:55:14.538 – 00:55:14.958] Mrs. [00:55:14.958 – 00:55:19.438] C found it and read it and put it on my chair, same one I sit in right now. [00:55:19.438 – 00:55:24.198] Opened it to right page, and I sat down and read it.

[00:55:24.198 – 00:55:34.258] And I remember two things about it, that drunks helped drunks and didn't drink, and that they called it [00:55:34.258 – 00:55:35.278] Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:55:35.278 – 00:55:44.878] And I said to myself, "If I ever live to get out of this bed, I'll find Alcoholics Anonymous." And immediately the curtain dropped. [00:55:44.878 – 00:55:54.878] I was again sickened to death, drunk, and insane, and I had a hell of a [00:55:54.878 – 00:55:55.978] lot of dying to do. [00:55:55.978 – 00:56:03.778] But from the second of commitment until right now, I have never had a drink or a sedating or tranquilizing pill. [00:56:03.778 – 00:56:08.478] This is why I holler so much about surrender. [00:56:08.478 – 00:56:16.098] Now, quickly, if I'd have had to surrender the first time consciously, I'd have died without coming here.

[00:56:16.098 – 00:56:19.598] So I can take absolutely no credit for it. [00:56:19.598 – 00:56:26.058] As long as I had the power of choice, my choice was never to come here, and I didn't. [00:56:26.058 – 00:56:35.858] So I had to lose it all, including the power of choice to come, and that happened in January 1946. [00:56:35.858 – 00:56:43.178] Now, that first surrender lasted three and a half years. [00:56:43.178 – 00:56:46.718] And again, I didn't do it. [00:56:46.718 – 00:56:47.458] The bottle did. [00:56:47.458 – 00:56:53.078] I had three and a half of the most fabulous years you can imagine. [00:56:53.078 – 00:57:00.358] I lived for three and a half years in total non-expectancy.

[00:57:00.358 – 00:57:04.838] I asked nothing from nobody no time. [00:57:04.838 – 00:57:09.858] I never even had a sponsor. [00:57:09.858 – 00:57:13.478] In the first place, I didn't know what a sponsor was. [00:57:13.478 – 00:57:20.918] And when I found out, I knew that I wasn't entitled to take up anybody's time. [00:57:20.918 – 00:57:24.238] I didn't even ask questions. [00:57:24.238 – 00:57:27.718] I became an eavesdropper. [00:57:27.718 – 00:57:37.978] I was in a meeting every night of the week for six months with a great fear upon me that I couldn't have this thing. [00:57:37.978 – 00:57:43.818] Didn't have enough physically or mentally to get it, but I was there every night.

[00:57:43.818 – 00:57:52.998] And I'd go in after I got so I could hold a cup of coffee without spilling it all over me. [00:57:52.998 – 00:58:03.258] And I'd get me a cup of coffee, and I'd pick out somebody that seemed to be talking pretty good AA, and I'd sidle [00:58:03.258 – 00:58:07.197] up to them backwards, you know, and get my ear into the conversation. [00:58:07.197 – 00:58:14.838] And if they caught me and said something, I'd take off and sidle up to somebody else. [00:58:14.838 – 00:58:22.338] And if they caught me and included me in, it just pulverized me. [00:58:22.338 – 00:58:23.418] I couldn't believe it. [00:58:23.418 – 00:58:26.898] And I'd go out under the pepper trees and bawl like a damn baby. [00:58:26.898 – 00:58:30.638] I couldn't believe that people cared that much.

[00:58:30.638 – 00:58:36.778] So I became probably one of the best eavesdroppers in the world, you know? [00:58:36.778 – 00:58:45.458] And after six months of a meeting every night, I discovered that I was sober and had been for six months. [00:58:45.458 – 00:58:47.878] Not a drink or a pill. [00:58:47.878 – 00:58:57.938] And that was the first discovery in this infinite series of discoveries that is [00:58:57.938 – 00:58:58.978] Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:58:58.978 – 00:59:10.108] When I discovered that I hadn't had a drink or a pill for six months, I immediately lost myself trying [00:59:10.108 – 00:59:16.078] to give it back to drunks because they are the ones that gave it to me, and I just got lost doing it. [00:59:16.078 – 00:59:25.578] And another six months went by, and I discovered that something had happened in the household.

[00:59:25.578 – 00:59:28.358] Seemed like the war was over. [00:59:28.358 – 00:59:38.458] They'd quit chasing me with the blue paper, and the f- the household was [00:59:38.458 – 00:59:39.838] living like a bunch of kittens. [00:59:39.838 – 00:59:43.758] And that was a pretty good discovery. [00:59:43.758 – 00:59:46.518] That was the second one. [00:59:46.518 – 00:59:48.158] The third one might have been a year later. [00:59:48.158 – 01:00:00.318] I discovered that I was still trying to clean up my desk because I'd gone down to that office before I found you because [01:00:00.318 – 01:00:03.338] I knew where the office was, and I didn't know where you were.

[01:00:03.338 – 01:00:10.578] You see, my keen alcoholic mind told me that you wouldn't be in the phone book. [01:00:10.578 – 01:00:14.098] You were anonymous, weren't you? [01:00:14.098 – 01:00:17.698] They don't anonymous in the phone book. [01:00:17.698 – 01:00:27.786] So knowing so much, I never even looked So I had to call people and ask them if they knew anybody that [01:00:27.786 – 01:00:28.846] knew anybody in AA. [01:00:28.846 – 01:00:33.406] And so I was at the office before I got here. [01:00:33.406 – 01:00:36.706] And that boss man came in to throw me through the window. [01:00:36.706 – 01:00:38.306] But he didn't.

[01:00:38.306 – 01:00:42.306] He recognized that something had happened to me. [01:00:42.306 – 01:00:46.486] And he said to me, what the hell's happened to you, Charlie? [01:00:46.486 – 01:00:47.546] And I says, don't know. [01:00:47.546 – 01:00:51.045] But he knew something had happened to me. [01:00:51.045 – 01:00:52.586] And so he didn't throw me through the window. [01:00:52.586 – 01:00:57.126] And a couple of years later, I discovered I was still trying to clean up my desk. [01:00:57.126 – 01:00:59.906] And business was good. [01:00:59.906 – 01:01:02.546] And that was a good discovery.

[01:01:02.546 – 01:01:11.706] Another year went by, and I discovered that my state of being was better than anything I had ever known. [01:01:11.706 – 01:01:15.926] And life was good. [01:01:15.926 – 01:01:20.226] And that was a beautiful discovery. [01:01:20.226 – 01:01:23.206] And maybe another year's gone. [01:01:23.206 – 01:01:24.486] Maybe it's five years now. [01:01:24.486 – 01:01:25.266] Maybe it's six. [01:01:25.266 – 01:01:25.806] I don't know. [01:01:25.806 – 01:01:33.426] I made the great discovery that I was never alone anymore.

[01:01:33.426 – 01:01:37.086] That I had a God of my very own. [01:01:37.086 – 01:01:38.846] And wherever I am, He is. [01:01:38.846 – 01:01:41.966] Now, this is the great discovery. [01:01:41.966 – 01:01:45.526] When we make this discovery, the search is over. [01:01:45.526 – 01:01:49.646] And life begins. [01:01:49.646 – 01:01:53.366] This is just the beginning of life. [01:01:53.366 – 01:02:03.346] When we discover who and what we are and our relationship to each other and to God, this is the beginning of life. [01:02:03.346 – 01:02:06.606] And it's fantastic.

[01:02:06.606 – 01:02:09.466] It's absolutely fantastic. [01:02:09.466 – 01:02:15.386] And the discoveries have continued up until now. [01:02:15.386 – 01:02:18.326] And I'll just tell you a couple of those. [01:02:18.326 – 01:02:25.326] But I have to quit before I'm ready. [01:02:25.326 – 01:02:28.706] I'm never ready to quit talking. [01:02:28.706 – 01:02:36.026] And it isn't because I think I'm God's gift to alcoholics and Al-Anon. [01:02:36.026 – 01:02:39.806] I used to think so, but not now. [01:02:39.806 – 01:02:49.826] But it's because if you've been around here for well nigh 30 years, there's so much to say that

[01:02:49.826 – 01:02:51.326] you can't say it. [01:02:51.326 – 01:02:59.186] I could stand here till Christmas and still be talking about what I've experienced living with people like you. [01:02:59.186 – 01:03:05.166] Now, a long time's passed. [01:03:05.166 – 01:03:15.726] And on the 29th day of June, Mrs. [01:03:15.726 – 01:03:26.226] C., the lady that was divorced from me 30 years ago, and myself celebrated a 50th wedding anniversary. [01:03:26.226 – 01:03:33.026] Our proper date was the 24th. [01:03:33.026 – 01:03:37.126] But Sunday following that was the 29th. [01:03:37.126 – 01:03:44.406] And some friends of ours threw a bit of a bash for us.

[01:03:44.406 – 01:03:50.726] And our kids were there. [01:03:50.726 – 01:03:54.206] And our grandchildren were there. [01:03:54.206 – 01:04:04.506] And maybe 2,500 to 3,000 other people were there from all over the country, all over Canada, New [01:04:04.506 – 01:04:06.086] Zealand, name it. [01:04:06.086 – 01:04:08.986] People from every place. [01:04:08.986 – 01:04:14.706] And we got calls and telegrams from far and wide. [01:04:14.706 – 01:04:22.426] England, Ireland, Australia, Canada. [01:04:22.426 – 01:04:25.486] It's absolutely impossible.

[01:04:25.486 – 01:04:27.566] It's absolutely impossible. [01:04:27.566 – 01:04:28.586] But there they were. [01:04:28.586 – 01:04:38.666] Now, our youngest son was [01:04:38.666 – 01:04:39.506] working in England. [01:04:39.506 – 01:04:45.865] He's making a picture now called It's a musical version of Cinderella. [01:04:45.865 – 01:04:50.546] And he's going to sing and dance and stuff like that there in that thing. [01:04:50.546 – 01:04:52.826] And it'll be interesting to see what he does with it. [01:04:52.826 – 01:05:01.406] And he flew from England to us, spent five hours with us, and then flew back to England.

[01:05:01.406 – 01:05:07.226] Eight years ago, he wouldn't have come if he'd been in town. [01:05:10.109 – 01:05:19.389] Because, you see, it took me all that time to realize that I was sharing with everybody else in life and telling Dick. [01:05:19.389 – 01:05:26.529] And every time we got together, we put another row of bricks in the wall. [01:05:26.529 – 01:05:31.589] And eight years ago, I went to England to get acquainted with my own son. [01:05:31.589 – 01:05:41.769] And I confessed my ignorance and asked his forgiveness, [01:05:41.769 – 01:05:44.589] and the dam went out. [01:05:44.589 – 01:05:53.289] And here the monkey flies twenty-five hours to spend five hours with us. [01:05:53.289 – 01:05:57.169] Can't happen, but it did.

[01:05:57.169 – 01:06:04.049] And one of your favorites and mine, Jack B. [01:06:04.049 – 01:06:07.009] He's very anonymous. [01:06:07.009 – 01:06:13.629] He was the head man in Queen for a Day for many years. [01:06:13.629 – 01:06:21.309] They had a little microphone set up, and old Jack was the master of ceremonies. [01:06:21.309 – 01:06:29.129] And people got up, people that you know, old Willard from North Carolina. [01:06:29.129 – 01:06:35.229] And he had with him Uncle Dick, that beautiful man, Uncle Dick. [01:06:35.229 – 01:06:39.989] And they were telling what they thought of us, you know. [01:06:39.989 – 01:06:42.229] And Canadians.

[01:06:42.229 – 01:06:49.129] And people from the business world. [01:06:49.129 – 01:06:58.489] People that had known me in bad times and good in the business world were down there talking about us. [01:06:58.489 – 01:07:04.709] Now, this can't happen to a drunken bum, but it did. [01:07:04.709 – 01:07:08.469] So you see, the miracles never cease. [01:07:08.469 – 01:07:10.049] They never cease. [01:07:10.049 – 01:07:13.929] Now, what is the answer? [01:07:13.929 – 01:07:19.149] I said we had to have a living answer to a living problem. [01:07:19.149 – 01:07:29.388] Insofar as I am able to perceive, there's only one answer to this thing called life.

[01:07:29.388 – 01:07:38.969] I thought for quite a little while after I'd sobered up that really it was just for us. [01:07:38.969 – 01:07:41.769] Just for us drunks. [01:07:41.769 – 01:07:46.089] That we had suffered enough to deserve it. [01:07:46.089 – 01:07:52.869] But the damn Al-Anons, they couldn't have it, you know. [01:07:52.869 – 01:07:57.269] The Earth people, they couldn't have it, you know. [01:07:57.269 – 01:08:01.409] So I had to live a while to learn that we're all God's kids. [01:08:01.409 – 01:08:06.229] And for God's kids, there's just one answer. [01:08:06.229 – 01:08:08.549] Whether you're an alcoholic or not don't make any difference.

[01:08:08.549 – 01:08:18.169] It's a personally acceptable conscious partnership with the living God that made us in the entire business of living. [01:08:18.169 – 01:08:21.849] That's the only answer there is. [01:08:21.849 – 01:08:26.409] A personally acceptable conscious partnership with God. [01:08:26.409 – 01:08:29.929] My own God, your own God. [01:08:29.929 – 01:08:40.189] The words as we understood him in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous refer to the necessity of individual experience, not to understanding God. [01:08:40.189 – 01:08:40.889] Thank God. [01:08:40.889 – 01:08:50.109] If an understanding of the infinite had been a condition for sobriety, I'd have died 30 years ago. [01:08:50.109 – 01:08:52.769] But thank God it isn't.

[01:08:52.769 – 01:08:57.149] That refers to the necessity of individual experience. [01:08:57.149 – 01:08:59.509] I have to find my God and you find yours. [01:08:59.509 – 01:09:09.629] Now, in my opinion, the finest formula under heaven for people like us, I don't know about other people, [01:09:09.629 – 01:09:20.009] but for alcoholics, the finest formula that's ever been conceived in the mind of man through the grace of God for self-discovery [01:09:20.009 – 01:09:23.569] is the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. [01:09:23.569 – 01:09:29.868] And my message, if I had one this morning, is just this. [01:09:29.868 – 01:09:40.169] If we do these things with no conditions on them at all, just [01:09:40.169 – 01:09:50.209] that we might stay sober one day at a time to go about our Father's business, which is carrying the message to the alcoholic and practicing these

[01:09:50.209 – 01:09:51.709] principles in all of our affairs. [01:09:51.709 – 01:10:01.489] If we do these things with no conditions at all, something has to happen to us. [01:10:01.489 – 01:10:05.429] And that something is self-discovery. [01:10:05.429 – 01:10:09.229] And it's an inside job. [01:10:09.229 – 01:10:13.489] The whole business is an inside job. [01:10:13.489 – 01:10:20.649] I don't think there's anything added at all. [01:10:20.649 – 01:10:25.169] I think it's uncovered and discovered. [01:10:25.169 – 01:10:35.259] Because the thing that we've been looking for all our lives is implied in the first two words of the Lord's

[01:10:35.259 – 01:10:36.269] Prayer, our Father. [01:10:36.269 – 01:10:46.529] I am convinced that everybody in this room and everybody out of this room, as I said a while ago, [01:10:46.529 – 01:10:48.749] are God's children. [01:10:48.749 – 01:10:57.609] And I am convinced that the gift of God was made at the foundations of the earth. [01:10:57.609 – 01:11:01.509] I don't think he has anything to give us. [01:11:01.509 – 01:11:06.929] Not because he hasn't got anything, but because he already did. [01:11:06.929 – 01:11:20.597] And I am con-convinced clear through that the great cosmic [01:11:20.597 – 01:11:27.517] joke is that He hid Himself in the last place we ever looked, and that's right here.

[01:11:27.517 – 01:11:35.757] I spent 30 years trying to find Him in all the great religions and sci– and philosophies of the world. [01:11:35.757 – 01:11:45.577] 30 years trying to find, and I, I didn't. [01:11:45.577 – 01:11:54.057] I learned a lot about, but I didn't learn anything because you see, I had it located someplace else. [01:11:54.057 – 01:12:00.297] And I came to this program with all the related disorders that you can have. [01:12:00.297 – 01:12:07.217] For instance, my wife had divorced me after 20 years. [01:12:07.217 – 01:12:09.457] I'd given her 20 of the best years of my life. [01:12:09.457 – 01:12:14.417] And she was divorcing me without cause. [01:12:14.417 – 01:12:22.377] My kids wouldn't even come home when I was around.

[01:12:22.377 – 01:12:24.517] Now, I think those are related disorders. [01:12:24.517 – 01:12:31.977] My boss said if I ever stepped foot in the plant again, he was gonna throw me through the window, and the window don't open. [01:12:31.977 – 01:12:34.957] It's a plate glass affair. [01:12:34.957 – 01:12:38.357] I think that's a related disorder. [01:12:38.357 – 01:12:47.497] I had no health, no sanity, no money, no job, and no home. [01:12:47.497 – 01:12:51.097] Now, I think those are related disorders. [01:12:51.097 – 01:12:55.497] But I never spent five seconds on any one of them. [01:12:55.497 – 01:12:59.597] And I want to tell you this, and I'll quit.

[01:12:59.597 – 01:13:09.597] When I could talk after that little experience, I called my wife in and I says, "Honey, it's no [01:13:09.597 – 01:13:13.817] longer of any consequence to me whether or not I live under this roof. [01:13:13.817 – 01:13:17.637] It is of absolutely no importance to me at all. [01:13:17.637 – 01:13:22.277] I'll never ask a thing of you as long as the two of us live, but one. [01:13:22.277 – 01:13:30.797] If I can ever add anything to your life, let me give it to you," and we closed the book, and it's never been reopened. [01:13:30.797 – 01:13:37.317] I called the boys in and I said, "Boys, there's no father in the household any longer. [01:13:37.317 – 01:13:39.997] You don't need to respect me. [01:13:39.997 – 01:13:41.037] You don't need to love me.

[01:13:41.037 – 01:13:42.277] You don't need to obey me. [01:13:42.277 – 01:13:46.657] I'll never ask a thing of you as long as we live, but one. [01:13:46.657 – 01:13:55.597] If I ever have anything, be it money, counsel, or blood that'll add to your life, let me give it to you," and we closed the book, and it's never been reopened. [01:13:55.597 – 01:14:01.437] I went down to the office, and the old boy came in to throw me through the window. [01:14:01.437 – 01:14:08.257] And I couldn't have defended myself with a shotgun because I was shaking. [01:14:08.257 – 01:14:09.137] I had the leaks. [01:14:09.137 – 01:14:19.377] No way could I have defended myself, and all I could do is say, "Victor, [01:14:19.377 – 01:14:19.937] leave me alone.

[01:14:19.937 – 01:14:21.237] I don't work for you anymore. [01:14:21.237 – 01:14:26.557] I'm down here to clean up this desk. [01:14:26.557 – 01:14:30.617] I'm here to do the things you paid me for last year that I didn't do. [01:14:30.617 – 01:14:35.217] And as soon as I get even with you, I'll get out of here on my own power. [01:14:35.217 – 01:14:39.557] You'll never owe me a penny as long as you live, but for God's sake, leave me alone. [01:14:39.557 – 01:14:43.237] I've got to get even with you," and he stopped in his tracks. [01:14:43.237 – 01:14:50.677] And that's when he said to me, "What the hell's happened to you, Charlie?" And I says, "Don't know," and I didn't. [01:14:50.677 – 01:14:54.277] But he didn't throw me through the window, you see?

[01:14:54.277 – 01:14:57.677] Now, that's the way I started this thing. [01:14:57.677 – 01:15:07.957] My life for twenty-nine years and a little over six months has been nothing but one twelve-step [01:15:07.957 – 01:15:08.297] call. [01:15:08.297 – 01:15:10.937] That's all it's been. [01:15:10.937 – 01:15:21.337] In business, in play, in home, in AA, [01:15:21.337 – 01:15:26.596] in church, in life, it's been nothing but one twelve-step call. [01:15:26.596 – 01:15:35.217] Just trying to help people do things they needed to have done because I wanted to. [01:15:35.217 – 01:15:45.277] Now, that's the only way I knew to rub out a record, to try to do something for people that I'd injured, and that's what I did

[01:15:45.277 – 01:15:45.977] in business. [01:15:45.977 – 01:15:55.217] Now, let me just tell you this for fun because it's not too well-known or accepted. [01:15:55.217 – 01:15:59.307] I hated my dad [01:15:59.434 – 01:15:59.754] Business. [01:15:59.754 – 01:16:06.955] On the Thursday before Christmas, 1945, I hated the whole setup. [01:16:06.955 – 01:16:08.794] I hated my boss. [01:16:08.794 – 01:16:19.224] It was obvious to me that I had more brains than anybody else in the organization, including him, and [01:16:19.224 – 01:16:20.195] he had all the money.

[01:16:20.195 – 01:16:26.955] And this was a, a, a very unfair situation. [01:16:26.955 – 01:16:34.235] So I hated, I hated everybody I worked with because they were dummies, you know? [01:16:34.235 – 01:16:41.934] In the first place, the business was between my– be- beneath my dignity. [01:16:41.934 – 01:16:46.394] A man with my ability should at least have been a senator, if not president. [01:16:46.394 – 01:16:52.254] So I was in the wrong place. [01:16:52.254 – 01:16:54.915] I hated the whole setup. [01:16:54.915 – 01:17:05.235] I went down there the last of January 1946, which was less than a month, just about a month later, [01:17:05.235 – 01:17:05.455] see?

[01:17:05.455 – 01:17:08.634] And I started trying to rub out a record. [01:17:08.634 – 01:17:14.195] And in eleven years, I bought the business, see, they were throwing me out of. [01:17:14.195 – 01:17:19.094] And four years ago or so, I s- I sold it. [01:17:19.094 – 01:17:29.155] And that bunch of monkeys that worked for me and had worked with me for years, for years, forty years some of them, guys with a eighth [01:17:29.155 – 01:17:32.524] of an inch of skin on the inside of their heads. [01:17:32.524 – 01:17:33.474] They were mechanics. [01:17:33.474 – 01:17:34.934] They were machine men. [01:17:34.934 – 01:17:36.854] They were cabinet makers.

[01:17:36.854 – 01:17:38.875] They were metal men. [01:17:38.875 – 01:17:42.375] They were painters, installation men. [01:17:42.375 – 01:17:44.195] Rough. [01:17:44.195 – 01:17:54.644] And I sold the business, and every one of them bawled like a baby, and so did I because you see, I'd learned to love that business and [01:17:54.644 – 01:17:55.514] the people in it. [01:17:55.514 – 01:18:01.535] And it was just because the motivation had changed from getting to adding to. [01:18:01.535 – 01:18:04.535] Now, this is my message. [01:18:04.535 – 01:18:14.634] If you didn't do anything else but get this, it's worth a lifetime for those of you who haven't done it, to quit trying to get

[01:18:14.634 – 01:18:22.235] and start, start to trying to add, not as a do-gooder, but just because you want to. [01:18:22.235 – 01:18:25.354] To add to life. [01:18:25.354 – 01:18:28.915] And that's all I did in business. [01:18:28.915 – 01:18:39.174] Now, thirty years I was in that business prior to the– my death in January 1946, [01:18:39.174 – 01:18:47.714] and I ended up in the bottom of the snake pit, doing the best I could according to the rules that I'd been taught. [01:18:47.714 – 01:18:59.665] And in the next twenty-five years, in the same business, trying to rub out a record, I got rich, and [01:18:59.665 – 01:19:00.955] I wasn't even thinking about it. [01:19:00.955 – 01:19:04.514] Never even occurred to me.

[01:19:04.514 – 01:19:09.375] Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't get rich like General Mo- Motors. [01:19:09.375 – 01:19:12.674] I got rich like a Kentucky hillbilly. [01:19:12.674 – 01:19:15.115] Yeah. [01:19:15.115 – 01:19:18.814] If I don't live too long, I'll never get hungry. [01:19:18.814 – 01:19:20.415] That's what I'm talking about. [01:19:20.415 – 01:19:22.915] And that's good enough for me. [01:19:22.915 – 01:19:28.714] Now, that's the same business, and I loved it. [01:19:28.714 – 01:19:34.094] And I gave it my entire i- interest, attention, and love because I wanted to.

[01:19:34.094 – 01:19:39.434] Starting out, I had to, but then it was just because I wanted to. [01:19:39.434 – 01:19:45.334] My home, I never spent five seconds trying to make that thing happen either. [01:19:45.334 – 01:19:49.894] Not five seconds, and it turned over. [01:19:49.894 – 01:19:59.155] My health, I fell on my face for three and one half years after my last drink. [01:19:59.155 – 01:20:09.354] If I was walking down the street with you and this thing hit me, I'd have to grab you around the neck, lean up against a building or, uh, grab a telephone pole or fall [01:20:09.354 – 01:20:10.415] flat on my face. [01:20:10.415 – 01:20:13.155] And I never even went to a doctor. [01:20:13.155 – 01:20:16.714] I thought it was par for the course.

[01:20:16.714 – 01:20:25.674] I thought anybody that had treated themselves like I did fell on their face, and I just fell on my face till I could walk. [01:20:25.674 – 01:20:28.235] And I don't fall on my face anymore. [01:20:28.235 – 01:20:32.335] Haven't done that for a long time. [01:20:32.335 – 01:20:36.514] And there's another thing that's makes me rather grateful. [01:20:36.514 – 01:20:40.354] I haven't been in jail for thirty years. [01:20:40.354 – 01:20:50.495] Now, this thing to me was, was almost impossible for me to, to fathom because I never [01:20:50.495 – 01:20:52.674] got to the place that was comfortable in jail. [01:20:52.674 – 01:20:56.354] I don't like it in jail.

[01:20:56.354 – 01:21:01.235] And my family thought I loved it because I spent so much time there. [01:21:01.235 – 01:21:06.294] But I haven't been in jail for thirty years. [01:21:06.294 – 01:21:08.535] And that's good. [01:21:08.535 – 01:21:13.155] Now, I was a guy that never ate. [01:21:13.155 – 01:21:16.104] I never ate when I drank. [01:21:16.104 – 01:21:23.094] I'd go for long periods without a, a solid meal in my body. [01:21:23.094 – 01:21:31.195] You're looking at a guy that spent two weeks trying to get to a chili joint at ex- the exact second when I could swallow. [01:21:31.195 – 01:21:34.514] And it had to be a dead heat.

[01:21:34.514 – 01:21:42.735] If you got there half a block too soon, you kept going, and if you overshot, you came back tomorrow. [01:21:42.735 – 01:21:47.615] You had to be there at the exact second when you could swallow. [01:21:47.615 – 01:21:51.874] And now I can smell, eat, taste, and enjoy food. [01:21:51.874 – 01:21:54.474] There ain't nothing wrong with that. [01:21:54.474 – 01:21:56.495] That's good living. [01:21:56.495 – 01:21:59.294] What about sleeping? [01:21:59.294 – 01:22:03.995] Ah, people say you get tired and sleepy, and you go to sleep. [01:22:03.995 – 01:22:08.594] I know people that can just lay on the floor and go to sleep.

[01:22:08.594 – 01:22:11.934] Got a f- couple of them are with me here. [01:22:11.934 – 01:22:15.174] They had to 'cause I had their bed. [01:22:15.174 – 01:22:24.514] To be able to lie down and go to sleep, why, this is absolutely beautiful. [01:22:24.514 – 01:22:34.594] Well, people say, "All you had to do is go to bed and go to sleep." Well, what about going to bed and getting up, and getting up and going to bed, and going to bed and getting up, and getting up and going to bed? [01:22:34.594 – 01:22:39.495] And never going to sleep. [01:22:39.495 – 01:22:43.254] And you're coming unglued at every joint. [01:22:43.254 – 01:22:51.814] You're dying, and you yell out, "God, please, let me sleep for 30 minutes, just 30 minutes." And no sleep. [01:22:51.814 – 01:22:55.394] What's wrong with laying down and going to sleep?

[01:22:55.394 – 01:22:57.155] I think that's the good life. [01:22:57.155 – 01:23:00.634] And I rather suspect it's spiritual. [01:23:00.634 – 01:23:05.174] Maybe some of you think it's physical. [01:23:05.174 – 01:23:05.554] I don't. [01:23:05.554 – 01:23:06.594] I think it's spiritual. [01:23:06.594 – 01:23:08.774] And what about people? [01:23:08.774 – 01:23:12.254] I came here fresh out of people. [01:23:12.254 – 01:23:13.634] I didn't have any people.

[01:23:13.634 – 01:23:16.415] I had me, and I hated my guts. [01:23:16.415 – 01:23:20.674] And now I got, I got the biggest family you ever saw. [01:23:20.674 – 01:23:22.495] You're mine whether you like it or not. [01:23:22.495 – 01:23:26.535] And I'm yours whether you like it or not. [01:23:26.535 – 01:23:36.394] And I got people all over the world just like you, people whom I love and who love me and who share with me, and I share with them. [01:23:36.394 – 01:23:38.655] Now, what's wrong with that? [01:23:38.655 – 01:23:43.274] People are the difference between an empty and a full life. [01:23:43.274 – 01:23:52.054] And this becomes especially beautiful when you come to see that God is people.

[01:23:52.054 – 01:23:54.155] God is people. [01:23:54.155 – 01:24:04.294] And so this is a most rewarding [01:24:04.294 – 01:24:05.674] living experience. [01:24:05.674 – 01:24:06.874] Don't be afraid of it. [01:24:06.874 – 01:24:09.674] It's bigger than all outdoors. [01:24:09.674 – 01:24:10.735] Don't settle short. [01:24:10.735 – 01:24:12.035] Don't settle short. [01:24:12.035 – 01:24:16.455] This is as big as God, just as big as God.

[01:24:16.455 – 01:24:25.514] And I have lately been playing with a little thing that tickles me to death, and it's so simple. [01:24:25.514 – 01:24:28.035] And I've known it forever. [01:24:28.035 – 01:24:34.214] But it's really become a thing with me. [01:24:34.214 – 01:24:37.495] It's a fetish right now because it's so simple. [01:24:37.495 – 01:24:47.514] It says, "God is love, and he who abideth in love abideth in [01:24:47.514 – 01:24:55.934] God, and God abideth in him." What a deal. [01:24:55.934 – 01:24:58.955] God bless you. [01:24:58.955 – 01:24:59.915] Thank you very much.

[01:24:59.915 – 01:25:20.394] Thank [01:25:20.394 – 01:25:21.235] you very much, Chuck. [01:25:21.235 – 01:25:30.054] As stated in the preface, there are no dues or fees, but, uh, Bill tells me they do have a few expenses that, uh, we need to take care of. [01:25:30.054 – 01:25:40.455] Wanna remind all of you that, uh, down in Dallas, uh, next weekend, I believe it i– Yeah, [01:25:40.455 – 01:25:45.374] next weekend they're having a Lone Star Roundup, and they wanna invite you down. [01:25:45.374 – 01:25:55.455] S- certainly wanna thank all of you for coming, and this has been a great fourth anniversary for [01:25:55.455 – 01:25:56.735] the Fort Sill bunch. [01:25:56.735 – 01:26:06.874] If anyone wants a, a copy on tape of Chuck's talk or the, this whole thing,

[01:26:06.874 – 01:26:09.374] uh, Bill O'Neill will make it for them. [01:26:09.374 – 01:26:10.254] He's right down here. [01:26:10.254 – 01:26:13.374] You can sign up with him and do whatever you have to do. [01:26:13.374 – 01:26:15.814] It's, it is available on tape for any of you that want it. [01:26:15.814 – 01:26:18.075] Marsha, would you lead us in the Lord's Prayer? [01:26:18.075 – 01:26:23.314] Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. [01:26:23.314 – 01:26:29.754] Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. [01:26:29.754 – 01:26:39.665] Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

[01:26:39.665 – 01:26:45.274] And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [01:26:45.274 – 01:26:50.214] For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. [01:26:50.214 – 01:26:50.304] Amen.