Transcript

[00:00:00.460 – 00:00:01.920] Uh, our next speaker. [00:00:01.920 – 00:00:04.520] You feel all right? [00:00:04.520 – 00:00:08.220] He's been telling me I'm nervous. [00:00:08.220 – 00:00:18.280] Chuck, uh, Charles, I know has been very active in AA for a good number of years in Central Michigan. [00:00:18.280 – 00:00:28.280] He's been active in their are-interarea council, and at the present time, he [00:00:28.280 – 00:00:32.680] is the chairman of the Central Michigan Interarea Council. [00:00:32.680 – 00:00:37.760] He's been active wherever and whenever he was needed. [00:00:37.760 – 00:00:44.480] And without any more, I will introduce Charles D.

[00:00:44.480 – 00:00:45.800] from Clinton. [00:00:45.800 – 00:01:00.060] Hi, [00:01:00.060 – 00:01:00.920] everybody. [00:01:00.920 – 00:01:01.780] Hi. [00:01:01.780 – 00:01:04.980] I don't know. [00:01:04.980 – 00:01:14.400] I was just telling Andy where the first talk that I gave at AA was here in Detroit. [00:01:14.400 – 00:01:24.740] And that was the first time in my life that I found it necessary for me to have a drink. [00:01:24.740 – 00:01:32.260] And this was a factor that time.

[00:01:32.260 – 00:01:34.560] I don't know how much time I have. [00:01:34.560 – 00:01:39.360] And everyone know me that I'm pretty windy. [00:01:39.360 – 00:01:45.220] Thank you. [00:01:45.220 – 00:01:55.660] First of all, we found out that, uh, some years ago that I was an alcoholic. [00:01:55.660 – 00:02:02.480] And I came into this program trying to find out why. [00:02:02.480 – 00:02:10.440] Because the family that I came from, this was degradated, destructive, and everything else. [00:02:10.440 – 00:02:17.960] In a few moments, I found out how come I was an alcoholic. [00:02:17.960 – 00:02:25.900] I had a very thoughtful father, very liberal-minded.

[00:02:25.900 – 00:02:32.660] I had a nagging, bitchy, fanatical mother. [00:02:32.660 – 00:02:39.079] I think these are some of the potentials of guiding you in the right direction toward alcoholism. [00:02:39.079 – 00:02:43.080] I found some more things there. [00:02:43.080 – 00:02:49.640] I found that man is an able creature, and he has many, created many laws. [00:02:49.640 – 00:03:00.020] Uh, I was just reading up, thirty-two million, six hundred thousand different laws, and he has even improved the Ten Commandments. [00:03:00.020 – 00:03:06.600] I have to inflate my wife there. [00:03:06.600 – 00:03:07.980] I'm stuck with her now. [00:03:07.980 – 00:03:17.700] I see how come my wife like to keep my nose to the grinding stone.

[00:03:17.700 – 00:03:24.079] Uh, this in turn have her to keep her nose up in the neighborhood. [00:03:24.079 – 00:03:35.480] One [00:03:35.480 – 00:03:46.440] of the best things that I found out here, and this was the greatest problem that I had in coming to Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:03:46.440 – 00:03:51.540] An honest confession is good for the soul, but it's bad for the reputation. [00:03:51.540 – 00:03:58.080] My wife finally picked one out for me. [00:03:58.080 – 00:04:04.600] A sharp tongue and a dull mind is always located in the same head. [00:04:04.600 – 00:04:14.640] And this has always reminded me when I came into [00:04:14.640 – 00:04:23.520] Alcoholics Anonymous, and they informed me on it is better to remain silent and appear a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

[00:04:23.520 – 00:04:33.560] I found out again about the time that Van Learian put that most about [00:04:33.560 – 00:04:35.620] life, most of it is gone anyway. [00:04:35.620 – 00:04:46.160] And finally, many men think he has an open mind when he is flying [00:04:46.160 – 00:04:48.000] out his own and barely speaking. [00:04:48.000 – 00:04:58.719] Ladies and gentlemen, I am a very fanatical AA man, and I believe in my philosophy. [00:04:58.719 – 00:05:08.400] Now, AA is suggested, and I believe today that I am a non-conformist. [00:05:08.400 – 00:05:18.960] I have looked in society, and I, especially when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, and I found out that [00:05:18.960 – 00:05:22.719] the battle of alcoholism is being weakened every day.

[00:05:22.719 – 00:05:29.420] It is weakened with the preoccupation of ignorance. [00:05:29.420 – 00:05:33.940] And this is why I'm fanatical. [00:05:33.940 – 00:05:42.280] I hate to see my brothers and sisters crippled with the illiteracy of drunkenness. [00:05:42.280 – 00:05:55.180] And I do believe that this was the first revelation that I ever had in my life is when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:05:55.180 – 00:05:59.810] Today, I believe that I was misguided at a early age, especially at home. [00:05:59.810 – 00:06:04.784] My people didn't go for drinking. [00:06:04.784 – 00:06:08.924] It was sinful, and if you drank, you was going to hell. [00:06:08.924 – 00:06:19.314] And my mind was warped at that time because I saw so many people having a good time, and they would rejoice more than religious

[00:06:19.314 – 00:06:21.204] people, so therefore I joined the gang. [00:06:21.204 – 00:06:31.404] Now that coming into Alcoholics Anonymous, I found out that we don't know too much about [00:06:31.404 – 00:06:33.304] alcoholism. [00:06:33.304 – 00:06:37.404] The medical society said we got the X factor. [00:06:37.404 – 00:06:48.004] And I believe that from the time that October the third, nineteen hundred and thirty-four, when the [00:06:48.004 – 00:06:58.044] spiritual awakening happened to one of our greatest AA members, even the founders, that this was [00:06:58.044 – 00:07:03.524] the road to the same thing as our conference here today. [00:07:03.524 – 00:07:06.324] Life began with sobriety.

[00:07:06.324 – 00:07:08.484] And this is so true with me. [00:07:08.484 – 00:07:11.564] I didn't know what life was. [00:07:11.564 – 00:07:15.544] And I heard this fellow just a few minutes ago, and I'm bad about mini curing. [00:07:15.544 – 00:07:18.124] I do not hate that I'm an alcoholic. [00:07:18.124 – 00:07:21.824] I am very proud to be an alcoholic. [00:07:21.824 – 00:07:27.884] I didn't know what life was until I came in Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:07:27.884 – 00:07:38.034] And if I had gone to the college that had completed the courses that I was going for, I am sure they couldn't [00:07:38.034 – 00:07:40.204] have taught me what I know today.

[00:07:40.204 – 00:07:42.724] So I am very proud. [00:07:42.724 – 00:07:47.724] Now, many things. [00:07:47.724 – 00:07:55.424] I think that the experiences could illuminate the darkness of ignorance. [00:07:55.424 – 00:08:04.324] I am sure that sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity is the indication of this crippling drunkenness. [00:08:04.324 – 00:08:15.084] And I think again that we people in AA, I'm not mini curing, but I've seen this happen in my area where [00:08:15.084 – 00:08:23.024] the alcoholic gets sober and he finally finds the philosophy of self-satisfaction. [00:08:23.024 – 00:08:24.004] I don't go for this. [00:08:24.004 – 00:08:31.104] I will go any length to help an alcoholic get sober.

[00:08:31.789 – 00:08:42.349] And believe it or not, I have a lot of ridicule in the family as far as my sponsorship and my obligations to Alcoholics Anonymous, and believe [00:08:42.349 – 00:08:44.249] me, AA comes first. [00:08:44.249 – 00:08:49.349] I don't care what decision that my wife has to make. [00:08:49.349 – 00:08:52.569] I don't care what decision that supervision has to make. [00:08:52.569 – 00:08:55.089] AA comes first. [00:08:55.089 – 00:09:05.749] And it makes me so critical to see someone trying to incite some of the destructive forces [00:09:05.749 – 00:09:10.389] that in previous years guided me in the wrong direction. [00:09:10.389 – 00:09:19.069] Now, I became an alcoholic, and I have still questioned the idea as to why.

[00:09:19.069 – 00:09:28.869] And to give you a little few examples as to why the, uh, I was still channeling the wrong direction. [00:09:28.869 – 00:09:38.889] I knew that my behavior and my morals, was something wrong with them, and I couldn't figure them out myself, so [00:09:38.889 – 00:09:40.749] I decided to go to the psychiatrist. [00:09:40.749 – 00:09:44.009] Now, I'm not ridiculing, but these are the things that happened to me. [00:09:44.009 – 00:09:54.369] I went to the psychiatrist on my behavior, and he told me that if my mental attitudes and my emotional attitudes [00:09:54.369 – 00:09:56.949] was the same as the group, that I was normal. [00:09:56.949 – 00:10:07.889] And I figured then that if a person as miserable as I was and if this was normal, said, "Man, I didn't want no part of it." Then [00:10:07.889 – 00:10:18.009] I go to the philosophical sociologist, and he tried to tell me about my morals, and he told me that morality was only the consensus

[00:10:18.009 – 00:10:18.719] of the masses. [00:10:18.719 – 00:10:22.669] And I knew very well that he needed his head worked on. [00:10:22.669 – 00:10:33.209] I finally go to the good and cunning clergyman in a state of desperation, [00:10:33.209 – 00:10:37.549] and he told me that I needed to be converted. [00:10:37.549 – 00:10:45.709] Well, I am sure today that if he had gotten me into that church, he would've only had a drunken member. [00:10:45.709 – 00:10:48.668] So this didn't work. [00:10:48.668 – 00:10:58.689] In search for these things that I was looking for, I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, and I finally was recommended to Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:10:58.689 – 00:11:09.609] And coming to Alcoholics Anonymous, I told them about all the difficulties I was having as far as my social problems and, and

[00:11:09.609 – 00:11:15.668] wife and all of this, and I was justified that my wife channeled me to the jug. [00:11:15.668 – 00:11:19.149] And AA told me I was nuts. [00:11:19.149 – 00:11:29.729] That was nineteen hundred and fifty-eight, and I had to have a real day to– if I was gonna make this transformation real, [00:11:29.729 – 00:11:32.949] February the twenty-second, nineteen hundred and fifty-eight. [00:11:32.949 – 00:11:39.709] And thereafter, I have been one of the happiest people in the world. [00:11:39.709 – 00:11:49.229] At one time, after being sober and everything going approximately a hundred percent, I found out I hadn't taken the second step. [00:11:49.229 – 00:11:53.869] I joined the degraded institution again. [00:11:53.869 – 00:11:55.649] Got married.

[00:11:55.649 – 00:12:05.729] Ladies and gentlemen, uh, don't think that I have [00:12:05.729 – 00:12:11.869] to qualify as far as alcohol is concerned. [00:12:11.869 – 00:12:17.249] But today I have learned one thing. [00:12:17.249 – 00:12:19.209] I don't do as I please anymore. [00:12:19.209 – 00:12:20.829] I don't do as I must. [00:12:20.829 – 00:12:23.399] I do as I ought to. [00:12:23.399 – 00:12:34.589] And I don't think– I think everyone in here has enough intelligence to know, I guess, because [00:12:34.589 – 00:12:44.729] I came from a society that said that ignorance was a virtue, intelligence was a crime, and this

[00:12:44.729 – 00:12:45.989] was a challenge too. [00:12:45.989 – 00:12:55.569] But any person that drinks alcohol, I don't care who he is, I think that his actions will become abnormal. [00:12:55.569 – 00:12:57.389] Now, this is not the point. [00:12:57.389 – 00:12:57.789] This is the reason. [00:12:57.789 – 00:13:07.829] I want to get away from this, and I want to tell you some of the things that has kept me sober and has made the necessary alignment as far as a [00:13:07.829 – 00:13:08.529] way of life. [00:13:08.529 – 00:13:12.889] And I will go along with the theme of this conference first. [00:13:12.889 – 00:13:18.129] Theme of the conference says, "Life Begin with Sobriety," and this is true.

[00:13:18.129 – 00:13:29.629] But I'm still in the what, why, and when, and I found out again, first of all, AA taught me to [00:13:29.629 – 00:13:33.239] look at this problem, get an insight on what's happening to you. [00:13:33.239 – 00:13:35.429] And this happened in step one. [00:13:35.429 – 00:13:42.069] Step one said, "We're powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable." I couldn't deny this fact. [00:13:42.069 – 00:13:45.309] Therefore, I had to take it over this way. [00:13:45.309 – 00:13:48.189] I tried to get sober for the management. [00:13:48.189 – 00:13:50.009] I tried to get sober for the wife. [00:13:50.009 – 00:13:51.549] I tried to get sober for mother.

[00:13:51.549 – 00:13:58.949] I tried to get sober and recognizing the minister, and none of this working, and this is why I said I'm a nonconformist. [00:13:58.949 – 00:14:06.829] I had to do it myself, and this was one of the most painful things to ever happen, 'cause I never worked too hard for anything. [00:14:06.829 – 00:14:15.909] Then we come down to step two, when we came to believe in a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. [00:14:15.909 – 00:14:18.709] This is true. [00:14:18.709 – 00:14:23.249] I never had no communication whatsoever with a God. [00:14:23.249 – 00:14:26.289] The church was insignificant to me. [00:14:26.289 – 00:14:36.309] It was just stupid as far as religious people going out there washing and working every day, and there was people down on the corner there doing everything in [00:14:36.309 – 00:14:39.129] the book, and they had more money and more material things.

[00:14:39.129 – 00:14:43.041] So I think My thinking was directed towards material things. [00:14:43.041 – 00:14:53.141] And in doing this, I led myself down to a dead-end road, and I finally woke up in AA, and they told me about this power greater than myself. [00:14:53.141 – 00:14:59.581] And I wanted to know what part did I play with this God. [00:14:59.581 – 00:15:09.011] I realized that I had– He was the indication of me being here, but I didn't have no relationship or no communication with Him. [00:15:09.011 – 00:15:19.021] I finally canvassed around and solicited around to try to find out what was going on, and I finally [00:15:19.021 – 00:15:19.320] did. [00:15:19.320 – 00:15:25.621] When I came to believe, I found out that God gave me a set of tools to work with. [00:15:25.621 – 00:15:30.321] He gave me a memory, intellect, and a conscience.

[00:15:30.321 – 00:15:34.941] He gave it to me for one specific reason: use them in the right direction. [00:15:34.941 – 00:15:40.061] For thirty-eight long years, I hadn't used these things. [00:15:40.061 – 00:15:46.761] And I found that the, at that time, it was one of the most important things in life. [00:15:46.761 – 00:15:56.921] I'm sure if I listen to the dictates of my conscience, I can remember the things my memory let me know is some [00:15:56.921 – 00:16:03.241] of the many things that I did, that I keep going that direction again, then I have an intellect to process these things. [00:16:03.241 – 00:16:12.901] In finding this out, then I come down to step three, where we made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understood it. [00:16:12.901 – 00:16:23.401] I had a little difficulty with this problem because I tried to get my mother's religion and her Christian belief [00:16:23.401 – 00:16:25.801] to fit me, and it wouldn't fit.

[00:16:25.801 – 00:16:34.221] And one day, I had to finally come down to the point to find the God that I understood. [00:16:34.221 – 00:16:41.041] And when I did this, this was the first time that I ever gained any serenity in my life. [00:16:41.041 – 00:16:51.061] I had to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood Him, because in being a child of God, I know that my thoughts is interrelated with His. [00:16:51.061 – 00:16:54.821] Then I still felt worthless. [00:16:54.821 – 00:16:58.261] I felt as though that I didn't fit. [00:16:58.261 – 00:17:02.511] I was condemning myself from some of the past reputations that I [00:17:02.778 – 00:17:07.498] Had in reference to this, bad for the reparations, confession. [00:17:07.498 – 00:17:09.978] Then I had to come down to step four.

[00:17:09.978 – 00:17:15.878] Step four tells me that I had to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. [00:17:15.878 – 00:17:20.798] I had to find this out the right way, positively. [00:17:20.798 – 00:17:22.418] I couldn't look at nothing negative. [00:17:22.418 – 00:17:30.018] And as far as my past, I had to eradicate this and come up with what was my way today. [00:17:30.018 – 00:17:39.538] My philosophy is that yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, today is cash. [00:17:39.538 – 00:17:42.497] Any fool can wait for cash. [00:17:42.497 – 00:17:51.678] So therefore, I took my assets and my, uh, threw these liabilities to the side. [00:17:51.678 – 00:18:00.818] And I figured that God was a very cunning, lovable God, and therefore, He didn't care anything about my past.

[00:18:00.818 – 00:18:06.118] He was willing to, to see the things what I was gonna do today. [00:18:06.118 – 00:18:11.958] Looked like this would be enough to keep a man straight, but it wasn't. [00:18:11.958 – 00:18:18.298] I found out in my inventory that my fellow man plays a very significant part in my life. [00:18:18.298 – 00:18:22.498] Then I had to go to him and confess. [00:18:22.498 – 00:18:31.338] The confession is the fifth step where it, it admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact natures of our wrongs. [00:18:31.338 – 00:18:33.478] I had to do this. [00:18:33.478 – 00:18:35.758] Now, these are no wrongs of yesterday. [00:18:35.758 – 00:18:45.558] My wife will tell you today that I get just as resentful today as I did when I was drinking, but I don't react the same.

[00:18:45.558 – 00:18:47.038] I admitted to God. [00:18:47.038 – 00:18:50.218] Many people tell me that you don't necessarily have to let God know. [00:18:50.218 – 00:18:51.398] He knows it anyway. [00:18:51.398 – 00:18:52.737] Well, I don't see this. [00:18:52.737 – 00:18:58.258] I was on the other side of the fence when I used to make these confess– confessions, and I didn't lead them nowhere. [00:18:58.258 – 00:19:06.798] I would bargain with God, and He would answer to the bargain, and then as soon as I got my feet on the ground, I took the driver's seat again. [00:19:06.798 – 00:19:09.838] So I admitted to God. [00:19:09.838 – 00:19:12.498] I admitted to myself.

[00:19:12.498 – 00:19:22.518] I had to admit to myself, this was the first time in my life that I could admit to myself, that I wasn't rotten and I just wasn't no good, and therefore, I would have [00:19:22.518 – 00:19:26.978] to do something to make the necessary alignments to face reality of life. [00:19:26.978 – 00:19:31.258] The exact natures of the wrongs. [00:19:31.258 – 00:19:41.318] I had to go to my good friends who I had confidence in, the ones that could help me [00:19:41.318 – 00:19:42.378] make this alignment. [00:19:42.378 – 00:19:47.088] It was a little bit too big for me, and I have to go and give them the details. [00:19:47.088 – 00:19:50.538] Now, to go up there and tell a man that I'm a thief, this is not enough. [00:19:50.538 – 00:19:57.578] I think I have to go into details of this because this thing is playing on my mind, butterflies in my stomach.

[00:19:57.578 – 00:19:59.158] My heart is pumping fast. [00:19:59.158 – 00:20:00.678] I'm having migraine headaches. [00:20:00.678 – 00:20:09.138] So therefore, I would have to use the oral, uh, tranquilizers to try to reduce the ill feelings that I have. [00:20:09.138 – 00:20:19.698] I did this, and I found out that this is one of the most significant things that I could ever do, try to get this tranquilizer from these [00:20:19.698 – 00:20:21.218] good confidential friends. [00:20:21.218 – 00:20:31.678] Then I come down, and I found out that my character defects was channeling me toward the jug, and therefore, I had to do something about this, and I [00:20:31.678 – 00:20:34.167] asked God to remove these character defects. [00:20:34.167 – 00:20:39.578] And in doing so, I found out I had such a funnel, I didn't know where to start.

[00:20:39.578 – 00:20:46.838] So I come down to step seven, and he said, "Humbly ask Him to remove your shortcomings." I think this is a wonderful word. [00:20:46.838 – 00:20:53.818] It says, "Humbly ask Him." I think this is, be glad to get rid of this corruption and, and all this kind of stuff. [00:20:53.818 – 00:20:55.258] And so this is what I did. [00:20:55.258 – 00:21:02.878] I had to get, I think a shortcoming is a character defect, the reoccurrence of a character defect put into practice. [00:21:02.878 – 00:21:12.878] Then I come down to one of the most significant things about the Twelve Steps [00:21:12.878 – 00:21:15.447] where we made amends. [00:21:15.447 – 00:21:17.618] I don't know. [00:21:17.618 – 00:21:23.738] I used to say in my drinking days that it was not, it wasn't necessary for me to go up there and make amends for what I've done.

[00:21:23.738 – 00:21:25.298] It's already on the records anyway. [00:21:25.298 – 00:21:33.378] But I found out that I had to make a, amends, uh, to all the people I harmed that I have a list. [00:21:33.378 – 00:21:43.678] But in some things there were so corruptible and would cause such ill feelings among some of my confidential friends until [00:21:43.678 – 00:21:46.138] I didn't want to expose this. [00:21:46.138 – 00:21:51.478] And in doing so, I found out that step nine fixed it just right for me. [00:21:51.478 – 00:21:59.558] It said, "Make amends to such people except when to do so would injure them or others." I had to put myself on top of the list. [00:21:59.558 – 00:22:01.458] I don't want to cause an injury to myself. [00:22:01.458 – 00:22:04.118] I don't want to cause an injury to my fellow man.

[00:22:04.118 – 00:22:09.298] So therefore, I go along with my good friend, Holly M. [00:22:09.298 – 00:22:11.578] You got a pile of manure here. [00:22:11.578 – 00:22:16.698] You might as well let this stuff stay just where it is once you start a thing. [00:22:16.698 – 00:22:23.538] Then we come down to the inventory promptly. [00:22:23.538 – 00:22:29.158] Uh, continue to take, uh, inventory, and when you are wrong, promptly admit it. [00:22:29.158 – 00:22:31.258] I don't know. [00:22:31.258 – 00:22:34.018] This is pretty bad. [00:22:34.018 – 00:22:35.618] This is the worst step for me to work.

[00:22:35.618 – 00:22:38.918] Talk is about seventy-two hours for me. [00:22:38.918 – 00:22:48.958] And I'm fully aware that if I would only say that I'm sorry, that [00:22:48.958 – 00:22:54.818] this would eliminate a lot of ill feelings and these migraine headaches and all of this. [00:22:54.818 – 00:22:56.838] But I'm a son of a gun. [00:22:56.838 – 00:22:58.218] I still justify. [00:22:58.218 – 00:23:08.402] I'm an alcoholic, and I like to play and toy along with this thing, with them nagging feelings, and then I finally had to [00:23:08.402 – 00:23:09.092] I am sorry. [00:23:09.092 – 00:23:13.802] I could have said that fifty-two hours ago when I was feeling fairly well.

[00:23:13.802 – 00:23:14.442] We didn't do it. [00:23:14.442 – 00:23:24.481] Now, my survival of Alcoholics Anonymous come in seven levels, where we sought through prayer and meditation to improve [00:23:24.481 – 00:23:31.722] our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. [00:23:31.722 – 00:23:41.822] So they had a comma behind here, and I believe as far as the second step is to seek more of this, what I've [00:23:41.822 – 00:23:45.662] already found in Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:23:45.662 – 00:23:46.962] Then they said meditation. [00:23:46.962 – 00:23:50.642] I had a little confusion here as far as meditation and prayer. [00:23:50.642 – 00:23:54.142] I thought both of them were the same, but it's a little different.

[00:23:54.142 – 00:24:03.922] I think when I pray, this is my direct line to God, and then I have to communicate with this God through prayer. [00:24:03.922 – 00:24:14.382] Then I found out, the road charted with an alcoholic and your thinking get a little bit messed up occasionally here, so you better start communicating with yourself. [00:24:14.382 – 00:24:16.642] This is where the meditation comes in. [00:24:16.642 – 00:24:26.682] I know today that my thoughts will vent you out in the wrong directions, and every once in a while, I have to go into meditation to call my [00:24:26.682 – 00:24:29.342] thoughts in and reel them in the right direction. [00:24:29.342 – 00:24:39.352] I do all three of these things to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand it, not the way the clergy understand it, not [00:24:39.352 – 00:24:42.402] the way the wife understand it, and not the way the minister. [00:24:42.402 – 00:24:45.162] I have to do this to satisfy me.

[00:24:45.162 – 00:24:55.362] And then we come down to the final step, and I think this is one of the most important steps of all, where we come [00:24:55.362 – 00:24:56.842] down to step twelve. [00:24:56.842 – 00:25:07.262] After having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers and [00:25:07.262 – 00:25:09.562] practice these principles in all our affairs. [00:25:09.562 – 00:25:13.782] This is a real good step. [00:25:13.782 – 00:25:19.702] Now, I'll tell you, the first thing that bothered me was the spiritual awakening. [00:25:19.702 – 00:25:24.222] I read the big book, and I wanted to have the same type of awakening that Bill had. [00:25:24.222 – 00:25:27.502] I found out that this was emotional action.

[00:25:27.502 – 00:25:33.852] I'm sure that if I, if a bolt of lightning had ever flashed before me, Charlie- [00:25:34.000 – 00:25:35.320] Would die from a heart attack. [00:25:35.320 – 00:25:45.400] I knew this wouldn't work, and I know again that if me and my wife went back to Ann Arbor tonight and some voice come, come speaking [00:25:45.400 – 00:25:49.220] back in the back, and I don't see anyone, all of us gonna be dead. [00:25:49.220 – 00:25:54.400] So I haven't had a spiritual awakening of this type. [00:25:54.400 – 00:26:03.339] The only awakening that I've ever had is when I began to think and channel my thoughts in the direction of people who would think me good. [00:26:03.339 – 00:26:11.320] This is the only awakening that I've ever had, and I'm glad that it's mild and subtle as it is. [00:26:11.320 – 00:26:14.090] Then to carry the message to the alcoholic.

[00:26:14.090 – 00:26:18.220] I think that we all become solicitors. [00:26:18.220 – 00:26:23.520] We began to canvass, or at least I did, only speaking in direction of myself. [00:26:23.520 – 00:26:33.560] I went up there, and I had all the literature that they were distributing around different areas, and I, when I was soliciting, I was gonna [00:26:33.560 – 00:26:36.100] get everyone sober that I knew that drank. [00:26:36.100 – 00:26:40.360] After a period of two years, I failed. [00:26:40.360 – 00:26:43.180] No one was sober. [00:26:43.180 – 00:26:50.120] Then I began to look at the step again, and it didn't say anything about carry the alcoholic. [00:26:50.120 – 00:26:52.079] It said carry the message.

[00:26:52.079 – 00:26:59.160] So therefore, I had to change my thinking, and it kinda bugged me when I would lose one of these fellows. [00:26:59.160 – 00:27:06.800] But now today, it doesn't bother me, but this just does not stop me from still carrying the message. [00:27:06.800 – 00:27:16.840] Now, a lot of people have told me about the last seven words being the hardest part of the AA program, and I fail [00:27:16.840 – 00:27:18.120] to believe this. [00:27:18.120 – 00:27:28.280] Last seven words, "We practice these principles in all our affairs," and I want to give you an example of exactly what I see, [00:27:28.280 – 00:27:29.120] how I see it. [00:27:29.120 – 00:27:40.380] I think in my drinking day, I had to think up over a hundred folks before I could get down to the bar, and [00:27:40.380 – 00:27:42.780] this is a plea for your own conviction.

[00:27:42.780 – 00:27:53.060] But when I think in the direction of right, I don't have to think but one time, and I am sure that it is easier to practice, uh, [00:27:53.060 – 00:27:55.780] the principles of AA than to practice the old way. [00:27:55.780 – 00:27:58.800] I've seen many fellows that try to practice the old way. [00:27:58.800 – 00:28:00.520] They end up in Jack Town. [00:28:00.520 – 00:28:04.620] They end up in the sanatorium, and some of 'em end up with violent deaths. [00:28:04.620 – 00:28:06.740] I don't want no part. [00:28:06.740 – 00:28:16.820] These are ugly pictures, and I know again that we've written a lot of ugly lines across the pages of our lives, and [00:28:16.820 – 00:28:18.620] sometimes they are not good to look at.

[00:28:18.620 – 00:28:21.520] I would like to give you one example. [00:28:21.520 – 00:28:28.009] I have given this from Canada all the way back down to Flint as to how this works. [00:28:28.009 – 00:28:38.040] I think again that I'm not ridiculing the fresh members or nothing of this type, but I think again, for me to know someone, I got to get acquainted with, and I got to [00:28:38.040 – 00:28:39.509] know the necessary adjustments. [00:28:39.509 – 00:28:42.800] Now, in AA, give you an example. [00:28:42.800 – 00:28:43.900] I'd like to give you one. [00:28:43.900 – 00:28:52.520] I've used the Serenity Prayer, and I found out in the last past year that I've been using it five and a half years wrong. [00:28:52.520 – 00:29:02.520] Uh, it said, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know

[00:29:02.520 – 00:29:08.800] the difference." And I've always used the part that would fill me to try to change the other person. [00:29:08.800 – 00:29:11.420] Well, I have one of the best examples in the world. [00:29:11.420 – 00:29:17.280] Me and my wife have been married going on the fourth year, and the things that I have tried to change is her. [00:29:17.280 – 00:29:18.440] They begin to get worse. [00:29:18.440 – 00:29:19.780] I think I magnified 'em. [00:29:19.780 – 00:29:28.000] So, so now I was thinking just the other day, how do you work this? [00:29:28.000 – 00:29:29.400] Well, I'm gonna tell you what now. [00:29:29.400 – 00:29:31.280] A lot of you men won't go along with this.

[00:29:31.280 – 00:29:39.000] I went up there, and my wife was on vacation during the summer, and I decided, I'm from the country, you know. [00:29:39.000 – 00:29:42.520] I'm from Georgia, and we believe in breakfast. [00:29:42.520 – 00:29:46.420] Breakfast is the most important meal of all, all three of the meals all day. [00:29:46.420 – 00:29:48.780] And I get up that morning. [00:29:48.780 – 00:29:58.780] I got to go downtown, cash my check, and pay those credits down there, and it seems as though the wife don't have no incentive of going in the kitchen and getting a meal together. [00:29:58.780 – 00:30:02.200] Well, I said, I use the Serenity Prayer. [00:30:02.200 – 00:30:04.260] The Serenity Prayer, I said, "Charlie, you got it. [00:30:04.260 – 00:30:11.480] The only person you can change is yourself." So I goes down, and I decided to get the kettles out, and I start cooking.

[00:30:11.480 – 00:30:21.560] Then one of my ugly thoughts come in and said, "Charlie, what is little Barb Byrd gonna say when you said your wife laying in bed and you doing the cooking?" I said, "Well, I better counter [00:30:21.560 – 00:30:28.980] this thought," because I said I'm a nonconformist, and if I con- conformed to Barb's idea, I'd be down to the courthouse there getting separated. [00:30:28.980 – 00:30:35.340] So I goes up there, and another good thought entered the picture and said, "Charlie, while you're cooking, why don't you cook enough for the wife? [00:30:35.340 – 00:30:45.380] Man, you're getting chicken shorn up now." I finally do so, but man, [00:30:45.380 – 00:30:51.320] you talk about a challenge to go in there and get those couple eggs ready and that bacon and all of this. [00:30:51.320 – 00:31:01.420] But a good thought, the memory served good here because if I go and get those covers off of her, I know good and well the war is on, and many a time [00:31:01.420 – 00:31:02.360] I've done this. [00:31:02.360 – 00:31:08.780] And finally, by the time she finished the breakfast, I was so mad I didn't want it, so I went down to the bar and got drunk.

[00:31:08.780 – 00:31:19.480] So now and using the Serenity Prayer, I'm sure that this, uh, as a result of the story, [00:31:19.480 – 00:31:26.400] though, I goes up there, and we sit down and have a nice breakfast, and we in a good frame of mind all day. [00:31:26.400 – 00:31:36.500] This is the payoff, and I still say it's a challenge to do the right thing, especially might I've been doing [00:31:36.500 – 00:31:43.372] the wrong thing for thirty years, and here I am overnight wants to become a saint. [00:31:43.372 – 00:31:50.072] Ladies and gentlemen, my time is about up. [00:31:50.072 – 00:32:00.092] But I just wanted to give you an explanation of what this explained to you just how AA works for [00:32:00.092 – 00:32:00.432] me. [00:32:00.432 – 00:32:10.512] And I'm very proud that your committeemens and your councilmens and all of this thought that I was able

[00:32:10.512 – 00:32:18.932] to come up here and give a keynote talk, especially on the life again with sobriety. [00:32:18.932 – 00:32:21.392] And I give you a little clue on this. [00:32:21.392 – 00:32:25.812] I went up there when they first asked me that could they submit my name. [00:32:25.812 – 00:32:30.672] To show you how an alcoholic you that I am, I'm not as well as I thought I was. [00:32:30.672 – 00:32:40.792] I went up there and I said, "Well, keynote speaking." I said, "Now, I have to make a good one, an impressive one." So I went up there and spent me two hundred and thirty-one dollars [00:32:40.792 – 00:32:44.232] to get some World Encyclopedias and brush up on this keynote. [00:32:44.232 – 00:32:54.392] I turned right around again and I said, "Well, my [00:32:54.392 – 00:32:56.722] appearance would have to be kind of pleased.

[00:32:56.722 – 00:33:05.272] I know this is going to be hard to do, but I'm going to have to do something about my appearance there." So I go down and get me a hard Sheppling mob. [00:33:05.272 – 00:33:06.722] You know what the price is. [00:33:06.722 – 00:33:10.892] I went up there and bought me a thirty dollar pair of shoes. [00:33:10.892 – 00:33:13.652] And man, I'm about four hundred dollars in debt now. [00:33:13.652 – 00:33:23.732] By the time I got in debt, the chairman of this program [00:33:23.732 – 00:33:33.052] sent me a little letter there and said, "Your theme of your talk would be life again with sobriety." And there I was with the big book all the time. [00:33:33.052 – 00:33:43.052] So ladies and gentlemen, I will conclude this talk with [00:33:43.052 – 00:33:43.792] two things.

[00:33:43.792 – 00:33:50.212] First of all, I will say, may you all be in heaven before the devil know you're dead. [00:33:50.212 – 00:33:56.452] And finally, I will say, be like the banana. [00:33:56.452 – 00:34:02.272] Stick to the point, for if you get away from the point, you're going to really get peeled. [00:34:02.272 – 00:34:02.692] Thank you.