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Source: Mary T. (Pearl) – Traditions in Healthy Relationships – Part 6 – Date Unknown.mp3 File: mary-t-pearl-traditions-in-healthy-relationships-part-6-date-unknown.mp3 Duration: 00:11:02
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Guide, Love the Music Without Ever Having Seen the Play, and we went though to the production and so then every year I want to, he said, what do you want to do, I want to go see the band. And so each year we got closer. We started out in the balcony and then we were down on the main floor and then we were in the orchestra and you're in the box, you know, the next step was I'm singing on the stage, you know, I mean, that's where we're going, you know, and I told him, I said, J.D.'s coming and I said, he's never seen anything, now J.D. is a pretty much country western old boy, you know, and I'm thinking, how's he going to do Phantom of the Opera.
And so, I don't know if y'all have ever been or not, but when it first starts, it starts very dark and they're at this auction and they're doing, and when they go boom, like that, then there's an explosion. Well J.D. had already napped off and when the explosion came, he joined us and he was there on the edge of his seat through the whole thing and when he's over and he goes, gosh, I never dreamed it could be like that, you know.
And so, he got to share one of my most favorite things in the world with me there. You know, I've got to do things, one of the girls that I sponsor in Canada, we went to her house and she has a pool, she lives out in the country, you know, way, way from everything and one night she says, why don't we go out and skinny dip? I said, I haven't skinny dipped since I was a kid and she says, well, what's going to see you, overflying airplanes?
She says, it's night, for God's sake, you know, and I said, oh well, okay. So we went out there and we got in the pool and I go, oh my God. She said, what? I said, boobs float. I had no idea. Well, when I was a kid I didn't have any boobs, you know, and I said, I'm touching skin I have never touched. Oh my God. I said, is this wonderful or what, you know, just like being a little kid again, you know, it's fun to relax and to be yourself and the practice of this tradition is best when I think of myself less and of you more, you know, that's what it's all about.
I've had to watch pigeons that I sponsor go through horrible things in the last few years. I had a girl I sponsored that was married over 30 years and her husband decided he didn't want to be responsible anymore. She was visiting her daughter here in Texas, taking care of a sick grandson. She got home, there's a note on her table that says, I'm gone, I won't be coming back. He had taken everything but $20 of all the funds that they had and had taken the equity out of their home, bought him a fifth wheel and a truck and drove off.
She didn't see him for about eight months, you know. It was her childhood sweetheart, the only man she had ever been with in her whole life and she was devastated, devastated. And I told her, I said, well, you know, for the last 18 years, you've been a functioning member of Al-Anon and he's been riding on your coattails. He never went to meetings except the first year. And I said, he's out doing his thing now.
I said, that's alcoholism. I said, that's crazy thinking on his part but life will go on for you and she didn't believe it because two weeks later, she had to have a hysterectomy and she went into a really bad depression. This was hard. You see, this was my childhood friend Jennifer that I had known all my life. And Jennifer was a true innocent person. Jennifer is the kind, she's sort of like Lucille Ball, she's sort of dingy but in a sweet kind of innocence, you know.
She never saw bad in anybody, always had. And she's had to go to work, something she had never done, you know. And I made her, I said, you've got to get a job, you're going to have to earn a living, you know. I mean, it's just that simple. She said, it's not fair. I said, that's right, it's not fair, get a job. And so I made her go to the mall. I said, I want you to go to the mall and I want you to apply to every store there.
She says, well, I can't do anything. All I've ever done is be a mom, stay home, raise my kids. I said, you can do something. We'll find out what it is. And so she, Penny's hired her. She was so unhappy to tell me Penny's hired her. And she says, I'll never be able to learn that cash register. I just never, if that's computerized, I'll never be able to learn that. I said, yes, you will. You'll keep going in and you'll keep trying.
And you go to the store and she'd see you and every morning before she went to work, she'd pray she wouldn't get a customer. I said, people who have a job get a job easier. And lo and behold, she worked there for a couple of months and then she found another job. And so she's now on her third job and in the last year, I'm happy to report she has bought her first home on her own and she has bought her a new car and another new car this past week.
She traded that one in for a better new, she says, I've got an SUV, ha, ha, ha. And I said, well, good for you. You got the payment, ha, ha, ha. But you know, we, I find that we're more like sisters now, you know, we're more like sisters. My relationship with my sister, I've become my sister's mother now. We've traded roles. She was my mom when I was growing up and I'm her mom now because I get to take care of her.
And instead, you know, sometimes, yes, it feels like it's a burden, but on the other hand, it's a great privilege I've been given because she has, you know, she was a brilliant
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business woman. She worked for 48 years for Procter & Gamble. She was the first woman to buy soybeans in the South for Procter & Gamble and that's what they make Crisco out of, by the way, soybeans and cottonseed. That's what they make Crisco. If they call it a vegetable oil, that's what it is. And so she would go out and deal with all, she worked with the Chicago border trade. She read a book every day.
Today she can't read a book because she can't remember from one page to the next. She can read, but she can't remember. And she told me last year for Christmas, she says, you know what I miss the most? And I said, what? She says, my memories. I can't imagine. You know, I take her out to the cemetery. She doesn't, she doesn't remember mama dying. She doesn't. And she'll say, where was I when this happened?
And I said, you were in charge. And she said, it's so confusing. I cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like for her. She says, it's like being in a nightmare you can't wake up from. She's got enough mental power to realize where she's at. Now she knows that she can't remember. And something will happen, she'll say, well, you know I can't remember. And I'll say, yeah, I forget. You can't remember.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's been there for me. I had a friend who was a priest, and he went over to work with Mother Teresa before she died. Well, naturally, he wouldn't go after she died to work with her, would she? Anyway, I'm getting tired. He was trying to make a determination where he should stay in the priesthood or get out. And so he went over there to have time and to work with her. And when he got ready to leave, he said, mother, would you pray for me that I should have clarity?
And she said, no, I will not. And he looked there, and he said, you won't. She said, I would pray that you would have faith. Because with faith, you do what is right in front of you to do. You don't need clarity. God will take care of that. Because with faith comes trust. You don't have to be able to see the end of the road to know that you're on the path. And that has helped a lot, too. And I started years ago with a girl I sponsored who never had anything good happen in her life.
And I'd tell her, every time you see God working in your life, no matter how big, how small, put a marble in a jar. I call it my rainbow jar. It sits over my kitchen window. I've emptied that jar so many times, it's unbelievable, the miracles that happen. Because when you get into the dark times of your life, as they will come, you need to know these, too, will pass. And look what all God has done for you, and God has no quotas.
There are more miracles to be had for you in your life. And I need sometimes a visible reminder that God is there, and he's on the job. And God can see when I can't feel. Those things are important to me. I want to thank you ladies for being here this weekend, for allowing me to share this time with you. And I ask you to go with God and be happy, joyous, and free. Thank you. Wasn't she great? Thank you.
Thank you. It's delicate, so. It's delicate. OK. Give me something delicate. Just didn't want you to rip it out of there. OK. Well, the paper's gorgeous. Oh, it is delicate. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And you know, the funny thing is, I gave a wind chime away the other day. I have room for a wind chime. Well, this is for your beautiful garden you're always talking about. Thank you, thank you.
J.D. and I both thank you. Thank you. I just couldn't imagine anything else to give you. I know. You've got every Al-Anon book that was ever written. Yes. You know, it's always funny when they say, they give you a signed Odette book, like I don't have one. I was trying to ask, you all believe that we should just have the kids meal a while ago, but dinner is going to be at five so you might want to jog around the chambers for us.
I'm at four. It's a pregnant with the Al-Anon portion of the Al-Anon cover, but I want you to Al-Anon for Friday, because tomorrow you're going to have a baby. OK. I'm going to have a baby. OK. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby. And tomorrow we've got a couple of Al-Anon.
And Linda's got a big Elmer Sony with a couple of other, the Al-Anon. And we're going to have talks on creation. And you're going to have fun tomorrow and tonight we've got a wedding down town. I look forward to it all the way to the last minute. OK, Thank you! OK, ladies, let's close with me and you, Sheree Moses.
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Would you like to lead us together? Who loves us and does us good? Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever.
Amen. Keep coming back. It works if you work it.