Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C presented by Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C – 2025-08-26

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Unknown Tuesday Night History Workshop • 2025

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Moderator Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C speaking on "Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C" in Tuesday Night History Workshop (August 26, 2025). This recording is preserved in high-fidelity with interactive scrolling transcripts.

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Unknown Interactive Transcript

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[00 00:04.639 – 00:00:08.980] Welcome to the Tuesday Night Recovery Speakers History Workshop.

0:17

[00 00:08.980 – 00:00:10.740] Thanks for joining us tonight.

0:19

[00 00:10.740 – 00:00:11.400] My name's Mike.

0:20

[00 00:11.400 – 00:00:16.699] Tonight we have Conversation with a Longtimer with Ed C from Oceanside, New York.

0:24

[00 00:16.699 – 00:00:21.239] We meet every Tuesday night at the same time and with the same Zoom ID number.

0:30

[00 00:21.239 – 00:00:25.160] We'll have another great evening next Tuesday.

0:32

[00 00:25.160 – 00:00:32.280] This meeting is being recorded, and the audio from all the past presentations can be found at recoveryspeakers.com.

0:38

[00 00:32.280 – 00:00:41.659] This meeting is not affiliated with any 12-step organization, although our goal is to focus on a history of AA and other 12-step fellowships.

0:46

[00 00:41.659 – 00:00:51.979] Recoveryspeakers.com is dedicated to preserving and making the audio history of AA and the 12-step movement available for everyone today

0:53

[00 00:51.979 – 00:00:53.000] and in the future.

0:54

[00 00:53.000 – 00:00:59.000] We share a daily email that features a different speaker talk from the Recovery Speakers audio library.

1:00

[00 00:59.000 – 00:01:09.000] Also included in the daily emails are links to the recordings from this meeting, as well as information about our upcoming history meeting presenters and

1:08

[00 01:09.000 – 00:01:09.439] topics.

1:08

[00 01:09.439 – 00:01:18.459] If you'd like to receive our daily email, you can subscribe through the link in the chat, or send an email to info@recoveryspeakers.com.

1:16

[00 01:18.459 – 00:01:23.120] Recovery Speakers is an official 501[c]3 public charity.

1:19

[00 01:23.120 – 00:01:28.370] If you're able to, we accept contributions which allow us to continue our work.

1:23

[00 01:28.370 – 00:01:32.260] I've posted our Venmo and PayPal information in the chat.

1:27

[00 01:32.260 – 00:01:35.180] And without...

1:28

[00 01:35.180 – 00:01:44.269] Oh, there'll be a Q&A session at the end of the meeting, but without further ado, I will open it up to Penny, and we will get going.

1:37

[00 01:44.269 – 00:01:45.200] Thank you very much.

1:38

[00 01:45.200 – 00:01:47.239] Thanks, Mike.

1:39

[00 01:47.239 – 00:01:57.540] Thanks so much for your service this evening, and thanks to our friends Mike and Tim for making this meeting room available to us once a month

1:48

[00 01:57.540 – 00:01:59.519] for the Conversation with a Longtimer.

1:50

[00 01:59.519 – 00:02:02.420] My name is Penny P, and I am an alcoholic.

1:54

[00 02:02.420 – 00:02:06.420] My sobriety date is October 9th, 1977.

1:56

[00 02:06.420 – 00:02:16.620] I got sober in Honolulu, Hawaii, and my home group is the online international, English-speaking international meeting of the Global

2:02

[00 02:16.620 – 00:02:19.139] Speakers group out of Shanghai, China.

2:04

[00 02:19.139 – 00:02:23.139] And, um, grateful that you're here tonight.

2:07

[00 02:23.139 – 00:02:32.539] So, um, I'm gonna do a little introduction before I introduce Ed, um, because I know we've got some folks here that haven't been to this particular meeting before.

2:16

[00 02:32.539 – 00:02:34.680] This meeting is a little bit different format.

2:19

[00 02:34.680 – 00:02:36.889] It's not just Ed going to tell his story.

2:22

[00 02:36.889 – 00:02:39.250] It's actually, we're gonna have a conversation.

2:24

[00 02:39.250 – 00:02:41.139] I'm gonna ask Ed some questions.

2:26

[00 02:41.139 – 00:02:47.419] We're gonna see if we learn something about Ed that some of you that are close to him don't already know.

2:33

[00 02:47.419 – 00:02:51.400] And I doubt that, because I know some of the people that are in the room with us tonight.

2:39

[00 02:51.400 – 00:03:00.900] And, um, but for those of you who know him, and for those of you who don't, if he talks about something that you wanna know a little bit more about, make a little note to yourself.

2:51

[00 03:00.900 – 00:03:10.919] If you're, um, a friend of Ed's and you have a favorite story, um, please make a little note to remind yourself so that when we get to the Q&A close to the

3:02

[00 03:10.919 – 00:03:20.979] end of the meeting, uh, you can raise your hand and ask him to elaborate on, on a favorite story or, or something that he shares about often that, uh, he may

3:12

[00 03:20.979 – 00:03:22.379] not have gotten to this evening.

3:14

[00 03:22.379 – 00:03:25.439] So I'm going to introduce...

3:16

[00 03:25.439 – 00:03:29.159] Let me see if I can spotlight...

3:18

[00 03:29.159 – 00:03:38.919] Gonna spotlight Ed, and then I'm going to add a spotlight.

3:22

[00 03:38.919 – 00:03:41.639] And, um, okay.

3:23

[00 03:41.639 – 00:03:44.280] So, uh, yeah, Ed, you're unmuted.

3:25

[00 03:44.280 – 00:03:47.810] And, um, so if you would introduce yourself.

3:28

[00 03:47.810 – 00:03:52.479] Give us your name, your sobriety date, and your home group, if you would.

3:33

[00 03:52.479 – 00:03:55.860] My name is Ed Connelly.

3:34

[00 03:55.860 – 00:03:59.800] Uh, my sobriety date is, uh, June 24th, 1970.

3:37

[00 03:59.800 – 00:04:02.629] And I, I basically, I have two home groups.

3:40

[00 04:02.629 – 00:04:08.719] One of them is on Zoom, which is Happy Hour, uh, and the other one is a combination of two groups.

3:47

[00 04:08.719 – 00:04:14.199] It was just Booze and Over The Hills, and now it's just Booze Over The Hill, and it's in Baldwin, New York.

3:54

[00 04:14.199 – 00:04:24.579] And- Welcome to- It's called Over The Hill be- be- because, uh, the group was, the group was originally called the Over 40 Discussion Group,

4:02

[00 04:24.579 – 00:04:30.939] and people thought that you had to be over 40 to get to it, which was not the case, but that's the way it came out.

4:10

[00 04:30.939 – 00:04:37.740] So we changed it to Over The Hill because you could be under 40 and be over the hill, and people could come to it then, or feel comfortable anyway.

4:19

[00 04:37.740 – 00:04:39.459] So.

4:19

[00 04:39.459 – 00:04:40.779] I love that.

4:21

[00 04:40.779 – 00:04:40.850] Yeah.

4:21

[00 04:40.850 – 00:04:48.100] So thank you for being willing to participate in this, uh, in this little different, uh, format for a meeting tonight.

4:28

[00 04:48.100 – 00:04:58.279] And, um, so I know that your story is a little bit different than, uh, some of us, that you knew about AA earlier than,

4:36

[00 04:58.279 – 00:05:03.500] than some folks did, and had, um, an interesting introduction to AA.

4:40

[00 05:03.500 – 00:05:10.019] Uh, would you tell us how you first learned about Alcoholics Anonymous and when you first came to Alcoholics Anonymous?

4:46

[00 05:10.019 – 00:05:15.399] Uh, I, I learned about Alcoholics Anonymous through my family, uh, basically.

4:50

[00 05:15.399 – 00:05:21.319] My father was an alcoholic, and he gets sober on, uh, January 7th, 1965.

4:55

[00 05:21.319 – 00:05:26.779] And I went to my first meeting, uh, in January 1966.

4:58

[00 05:26.779 – 00:05:28.120] It was his first anniversary.

5:00

[00 05:28.120 – 00:05:32.759] And it was in a Turnpike group in Levittown, New York, and I heard two speakers.

5:05

[00 05:32.759 – 00:05:35.399] And, uh, that was the first meeting I went to.

5:08

[00 05:35.399 – 00:05:42.600] And unfortunately, I identified with those two speakers, even though I was, like, 19 years old and, uh, I didn't wanna identify with anybody, obviously.

5:16

[00 05:42.600 – 00:05:49.079] So, so I wanna, I, I, right, right away, I wanna ask questions about that.

5:21

[00 05:49.079 – 00:05:54.420] So January 1966, your dad's celebrating a year of sobriety.

5:24

[00 05:54.420 – 00:05:58.800] You go to the meeting to help him celebrate, to acknowledge his sobriety.

5:28

[00 05:58.800 – 00:06:03.040] You hear these two speakers, and you identify with them.

5:32

[00 06:03.040 – 00:06:11.319] What goes on in your head then until you finally get here in 1970 that you think you don't need to go to AA?

5:39

[00 06:11.319 – 00:06:14.420] Well, I identified to some extent.

5:41

[00 06:14.420 – 00:06:17.920] They talked about having blackouts, and I was experiencing blackouts.

5:45

[00 06:17.920 – 00:06:22.660] They were talking about their life being unmanageable, you know, and, and, and coming back from that.

5:50

[00 06:22.660 – 00:06:25.500] My life was b- not unmanageable yet.

5:53

[00 06:25.500 – 00:06:31.870] It took another, uh, probably 10 months for my life to become unmanageable.

5:57

[00 06:31.870 – 00:06:33.649] You know?

5:57

[00 06:33.649 – 00:06:36.430] Uh, through a number of circumstances.

6:00

[00 06:36.430 – 00:06:38.120] My life would've changed completely.

6:01

[00 06:38.120 – 00:06:42.639] I mean, completely, if in fact I stopped drinking when I went to that meeting.

6:06

[00 06:42.639 – 00:06:43.939] But that didn't happen.

6:08

[00 06:43.939 – 00:06:44.959] Okay.

6:09

[00 06:44.959 – 00:06:52.079] So you finally came to AA in 1970, June of 1970.

6:12

[00 06:52.079 – 00:06:52.500] Did you tr-

6:13

[00 06:53.329 – 00:06:54.889] I, meetings before then.

6:14

[00 06:54.889 – 00:07:00.059] Did you have any concerns about going to meetings 'cause your dad's a sober alcoholic?

6:19

[00 07:00.059 – 00:07:01.839] What, what's going on?

6:21

[00 07:01.839 – 00:07:05.859] 'Cause that's an experience that many of us do not have that experience.

6:25

[00 07:05.859 – 00:07:07.699] No, most people don't.

6:27

[00 07:07.699 – 00:07:09.199] They, I came in through that, through that way.

6:30

[00 07:09.199 – 00:07:16.659] But I, I d- I never questioned my drinking in that period of time until about two weeks before I stopped drinking.

6:37

[00 07:16.659 – 00:07:18.339] I ignored him.

6:38

[00 07:18.339 – 00:07:23.019] I, uh, he spoke to me about my drinking y- he was sober about six or seven months.

6:44

[00 07:23.019 – 00:07:25.119] He spoke to me about my drinking.

6:46

[00 07:25.119 – 00:07:27.418] He told me I drank funny.

6:48

[00 07:27.418 – 00:07:35.359] And I t- I said, "What are you talking about?" And he, he said, "Well, you drink funny." And he was a daily drunk.

6:56

[00 07:35.359 – 00:07:38.269] I mean, we had to go find him on a regular basis and, and bring him home.

7:02

[00 07:38.269 – 00:07:41.439] You know, that kind of, he, that's the way he drank.

7:05

[00 07:41.439 – 00:07:43.939] And he, he told me I drank funny because I...

7:09

[00 07:43.939 – 00:07:45.049] One time we drank together.

7:10

[00 07:45.049 – 00:07:48.399] It was an outing at the bar that he hung out in.

7:14

[00 07:48.399 – 00:07:51.719] Uh, ran into a Met game, as it turns out.

7:18

[00 07:51.719 – 00:07:58.039] And it was a bus trip and, uh, it was, you know, drinking on a bus, and we get back after the game, and he was drinking in the bar.

7:27

[00 07:58.039 – 00:07:59.519] And I was, like, 16 years old.

7:29

[00 07:59.519 – 00:08:06.699] And it's the one time we drank together, and I was drinking shots of Seagrams Seven with Seven and Seven chases.

7:36

[00 08:06.699 – 00:08:11.019] And that struck him as being funny, 'cause he was a beer drinker.

7:40

[00 08:11.019 – 00:08:12.959] So he told me I drank funny.

7:43

[00 08:12.959 – 00:08:15.499] And I drank, I drank strictly for effect.

7:46

[00 08:15.499 – 00:08:19.579] So, uh, that's what, that's what, uh...

7:48

[00 08:19.579 – 00:08:22.039] That's the only time he ever drank with my father.

7:52

[00 08:22.039 – 00:08:23.419] Okay.

7:52

[00 08:23.419 – 00:08:25.849] So- He never drank with me again after that ...

7:55

[00 08:25.849 – 00:08:28.669] so he gets sober in 1965.

7:57

[00 08:28.669 – 00:08:37.259] You go to a meeting in 1966, and then you don't come back to AA until 1970, June arou- around June of 1970.

8:03

[00 08:37.259 – 00:08:42.939] And what's going on, um, just before you come to your first meeting?

8:08

[00 08:42.939 – 00:08:48.539] Do you go to a meeting where your dad goes to meetings, or are you seeking out meetings?

8:14

[00 08:48.539 – 00:08:52.559] Are you, are you looking for some of the guys that you might know through your dad?

8:19

[00 08:52.559 – 00:08:57.899] How did you, how did you do that when you came to AA in 1970, then?

8:24

[00 08:57.899 – 00:09:02.419] What happened, I got 12-stepped in a bar.

8:27

[00 09:02.419 – 00:09:04.119] On a Sunday before I went to meetings.

8:30

[00 09:04.119 – 00:09:12.098] It was my parents' 25th wedding anniversary, so me and my sister, uh, and my brother-in-law had decided we were gonna give them a party.

8:37

[00 09:12.098 – 00:09:17.438] My wife, my, my first wife at, at that point in time, she was a barmaid in this bar.

8:44

[00 09:17.438 – 00:09:20.119] And so we had, we had a party in a bar.

8:47

[00 09:20.119 – 00:09:22.659] My father was sober five years at the time.

8:50

[00 09:22.659 – 00:09:27.219] And we decided to have a party in a bar, and it was, like, 60 people.

8:55

[00 09:27.219 – 00:09:29.159] 30 people in AA, 30 family.

8:57

[00 09:29.159 – 00:09:36.939] And me and my brother-in-law were sitting at the bar having a contest, you know, who could drink the most, who could drink the fastest, that kind of stuff.

9:06

[00 09:36.939 – 00:09:44.459] And a guy walked by to go to the men's room, and my brother-in-law grabbed him by the arm and said, "You know, I- I don't know what's the matter with me.

9:16

[00 09:44.459 – 00:09:45.519] I can't stop drinking.

9:18

[00 09:45.519 – 00:09:49.459] I, I just, I just can't stop." And I just sat there.

9:22

[00 09:49.459 – 00:09:53.239] I didn't, you know, I, I had no intention of talking to anybody about my drinking.

9:27

[00 09:53.239 – 00:10:00.199] I, uh, when he got a big enough crowd together, I walked over and I said, "You really don't want to talk to him.

9:34

[00 10:00.199 – 00:10:00.959] You want to talk to me.

9:37

[00 10:00.959 – 00:10:03.199] He doesn't, he doesn't even drink.

9:39

[00 10:03.199 – 00:10:11.499] I'm the one you want to talk to." And I got 12-stepped, uh, that night in a bar, which was a, it was a Sunday.

9:47

[00 10:11.499 – 00:10:15.879] I went to my following meeting, the Tuesday, which was June 23rd.

9:51

[00 10:15.879 – 00:10:25.219] I went to beginner's meeting 11:00 time at my father's group, and I thought it was a setup, and they knew all about me, which they did.

9:59

[00 10:25.219 – 00:10:28.459] And I went out the next day, and I drank to death.

10:03

[00 10:28.459 – 00:10:30.519] And that was my last drink.

10:05

[00 10:30.519 – 00:10:32.219] The, the following day was my last drink.

10:08

[00 10:32.219 – 00:10:35.679] And I went to a meeting, uh, that Wednesday night.

10:11

[00 10:35.679 – 00:10:37.309] I got my first resentment.

10:13

[00 10:37.309 – 00:10:39.419] They asked my father to speak.

10:15

[00 10:39.419 – 00:10:46.919] He, he, he had taken me to that meeting to meet a guy whose wife is on this meeting, a guy named Ron.

10:23

[00 10:46.919 – 00:10:48.559] And, uh, Ron was a...

10:24

[00 10:48.559 – 00:10:53.419] Ron had nine years sobriety, and he was 38 years old at that time.

10:29

[00 10:53.419 – 00:10:55.479] And there wasn't many young people around.

10:31

[00 10:55.479 – 00:10:57.259] I was 23 at that point.

10:33

[00 10:57.259 – 00:11:01.099] Uh, and I thought I was the youngest people in AA, youngest person in AA.

10:38

[00 11:01.099 – 00:11:06.059] I was so self-centered that I forgot my brother-in-law was there, and he was 22 when he came in.

10:44

[00 11:06.059 – 00:11:08.439] We came in the same day.

10:46

[00 11:08.439 – 00:11:10.699] And, but it was all about me, obviously.

10:49

[00 11:10.699 – 00:11:19.219] And, uh, I met people that night at that meeting that I, I've been friends with for 50, over 50 years.

10:55

[00 11:19.219 – 00:11:20.259] Yeah.

10:55

[00 11:20.259 – 00:11:21.699] You know?

10:56

[00 11:21.699 – 00:11:22.099] Yeah.

10:57

[00 11:22.099 – 00:11:23.689] Uh, Ron was- So is your- Ron was one of them.

11:01

[00 11:23.689 – 00:11:24.799] Yeah.

11:01

[00 11:24.799 – 00:11:26.859] Did, did your brother-in-law stay sober?

11:03

[00 11:26.859 – 00:11:29.179] He stayed sober till he passed away.

11:06

[00 11:29.179 – 00:11:34.949] Yeah, he, he, he had took a massive heart attack and, uh, passed away on, uh, March 15th, 1999.

11:12

[00 11:34.949 – 00:11:37.759] So he, he died at, with 29 years sobriety.

11:14

[00 11:37.759 – 00:11:40.519] And, uh- So, wow.

11:16

[00 11:40.519 – 00:11:43.809] So you've got this whole family that's sober in AA.

11:19

[00 11:43.809 – 00:11:44.679] You've got your dad.

11:21

[00 11:44.679 – 00:11:45.399] You've got you.

11:22

[00 11:45.399 – 00:11:46.639] You've got your brother-in-law.

11:24

[00 11:46.639 – 00:11:50.779] And, um, and you're s- but you're starting to go to meetings.

11:28

[00 11:50.779 – 00:11:52.619] Your dad's already five years sober.

11:30

[00 11:52.619 – 00:12:02.739] So how are you sitting in meetings, and d- do you have anything going on

11:35

[00 12:02.739 – 00:12:03.759] in...

11:35

[00 12:03.759 – 00:12:07.999] I, I actually, I sponsored someone whose, whose son is getting...

11:39

[00 12:07.999 – 00:12:13.969] I sponsored someone, I have a good friend whose son is getting sober in AA right now.

11:44

[00 12:13.969 – 00:12:16.099] So, and they're a long time sober.

11:47

[00 12:16.099 – 00:12:21.719] S- what goes on in your head when you have a sober parent and you're getting sober?

11:52

[00 12:21.719 – 00:12:30.249] I, 'cause my head was just, you know, "I don't belong here." I, trying to, to be delusional and defiant and...

11:59

[00 12:30.249 – 00:12:32.559] Yeah, I was, I was all of that.

12:02

[00 12:32.559 – 00:12:35.039] And, uh, I came into, into the program.

12:05

[00 12:35.039 – 00:12:41.479] I stopped drinking for, for, for the period of time in the beginning because I wanted my father to bail me out again.

12:12

[00 12:41.479 – 00:12:42.959] I had no intention of stopping drinking.

12:14

[00 12:42.959 – 00:12:44.839] Okay.

12:15

[00 12:44.839 – 00:12:45.779] This was residual.

12:16

[00 12:45.779 – 00:12:48.639] I mean, I was in debt up to my eyeballs.

12:20

[00 12:48.639 – 00:12:54.879] I had done a lot of stupid things, uh, you know, co- uh, cutting checks, uh, stuff like that.

12:26

[00 12:54.879 – 00:12:59.199] You know, uh, I had a wife and three kids at that point in time.

12:31

[00 12:59.199 – 00:13:01.939] I was, you know, and, uh- Wow ...

12:33

[00 13:01.939 – 00:13:03.839] you know, I, I was just in bad shape.

12:36

[00 13:03.839 – 00:13:08.139] Y- you know, I was, I was one of those guys that if I, if I could drink, I did drink.

12:43

[00 13:08.139 – 00:13:10.959] And when I did drink, I couldn't guarantee what was gonna happen.

12:47

[00 13:10.959 – 00:13:13.699] So that, that's the way my life was.

12:50

[00 13:13.699 – 00:13:18.859] So I w- I, um, I saw an out.

12:53

[00 13:18.859 – 00:13:25.499] You know, the out was that if I told my father I was gonna stop drinking and go to meetings, he would bail me out again.

13:01

[00 13:25.499 – 00:13:29.179] I, I was in debt for, like, $10,000, which back then was a lot of money.

13:06

[00 13:29.179 – 00:13:30.039] When I was making- Yeah ...

13:08

[00 13:30.039 – 00:13:33.219] $88 a week, $10,000 was a lot of money.

13:10

[00 13:33.219 – 00:13:33.539] Yeah.

13:11

[00 13:33.539 – 00:13:34.298] You know?

13:12

[00 13:34.298 – 00:13:40.479] And, you know, he passed away in, uh, 1999, and he never gave me any money.

13:17

[00 13:40.479 – 00:13:42.799] So.

13:17

[00 13:42.799 – 00:13:45.149] So did you go to meetings reg-

13:20

[00 13:45.251 – 00:13:48.331] Your dad went to meetings or did you find your own meetings to go to?

13:25

[00 13:48.331 – 00:13:49.351] Uh, both.

13:26

[00 13:49.351 – 00:13:50.231] Both.

13:26

[00 13:50.231 – 00:13:50.281] Okay.

13:27

[00 13:50.281 – 00:13:51.291] I, I did go to...

13:29

[00 13:51.291 – 00:14:00.471] I, I lived in, uh, one part of town, kind of one part of Nassau County, and I went to meetings in my, what was my home group, uh, which was the Turnpike.

13:39

[00 14:00.471 – 00:14:04.691] But I went to a lot of meetings at Freeport, which was in South Shore of Nassau County.

13:45

[00 14:04.691 – 00:14:07.821] And I went to a, a place called Freeport Hospital.

13:48

[00 14:07.821 – 00:14:18.011] You know, I, I told you before that when I, when I went to that meeting on Wednesday night, I met people at, in that meeting who really stayed in my life for a really

13:59

[00 14:18.011 – 00:14:23.311] long time and were really beneficial to my sobriety, for me not picking up a drink.

14:05

[00 14:23.311 – 00:14:30.671] One was Ron, who was married to Pat, who was on this meeting, and he became my sponsor, actually.

14:11

[00 14:30.671 – 00:14:34.311] My first sponsor was Jimmy D, who spoke here two months ago.

14:15

[00 14:34.311 – 00:14:35.031] Yeah.

14:15

[00 14:35.031 – 00:14:36.931] He was appointed by my father.

14:17

[00 14:36.931 – 00:14:41.371] So I didn't pick a sponsor, uh, initially.

14:20

[00 14:41.371 – 00:14:46.691] Jimmy D was appointed by my father, uh, to take care of me and my brother-in-law.

14:25

[00 14:46.691 – 00:14:49.991] So he was both of our sponsors.

14:28

[00 14:49.991 – 00:14:52.850] Did your d- did your dad sponsor Jimmy D?

14:31

[00 14:52.850 – 00:14:53.831] No.

14:31

[00 14:53.831 – 00:14:54.631] My f- No ...

14:33

[00 14:54.631 – 00:14:57.971] my, my, my, my father sponsored Jimmy D's sponsor.

14:36

[00 14:57.971 – 00:15:04.631] You know, it's like, it's almost like an incestuous family thing, you know?

14:40

[00 15:04.631 – 00:15:06.111] Yes, yes.

14:41

[00 15:06.111 – 00:15:13.911] Yeah, but yeah, my, my, my father, uh, sponsored this guy Johnny D, who, who be- was Jimmy, Jimmy D's sponsor.

14:48

[00 15:13.911 – 00:15:18.171] And, uh, yeah, so that's how that happened.

14:50

[00 15:18.171 – 00:15:23.291] And Jimmy, Jimmy, uh, was sober like nine months or 10 months when that happened.

14:55

[00 15:23.291 – 00:15:24.491] Okay.

14:56

[00 15:24.491 – 00:15:25.731] He was appointed by my father.

14:58

[00 15:25.731 – 00:15:30.511] But I met Ronnie at, in Freeport that, that night that I went with my father to Freeport.

15:04

[00 15:30.511 – 00:15:34.571] I met Ronnie P, uh, who actually became my sponsor.

15:07

[00 15:34.571 – 00:15:40.811] You know, they were s- they were sponsoring me simultaneously, and they didn't know each other at, at that point.

15:13

[00 15:40.811 – 00:15:46.221] But what happened was I walked in there and I was, I was 23.

15:18

[00 15:46.221 – 00:15:49.151] Everybody else was 50 or better, or so it seemed.

15:21

[00 15:49.151 – 00:15:50.371] Yes.

15:21

[00 15:50.371 – 00:15:51.771] And I was real uncomfortable.

15:23

[00 15:51.771 – 00:15:52.831] I had my hands in my pocket.

15:26

[00 15:52.831 – 00:15:54.311] I wouldn't talk to anybody.

15:28

[00 15:54.311 – 00:15:55.771] Uh, we smoked in meetings back then.

15:30

[00 15:55.771 – 00:15:56.751] I was smoking up a storm.

15:32

[00 15:56.751 – 00:16:03.971] And this woman comes over to me and says, "You look uncomfortable." And I said, "I am." I, you know, "Look around," you know.

15:40

[00 16:03.971 – 00:16:08.181] And she says, "Well, tomorrow night there's a meeting at Freeport Hospital.

15:44

[00 16:08.181 – 00:16:14.711] It's a young people's meeting." You know, and when she told me the time or whatever, and, "Maybe you should come there.

15:51

[00 16:14.711 – 00:16:16.851] It may be feel more comfortable there." And I did.

15:54

[00 16:16.851 – 00:16:17.591] I went there that night.

15:56

[00 16:17.591 – 00:16:24.630] I walked through the back door of this hospital, which was a general hospital which, with, with a detox, and at that point in time.

16:04

[00 16:24.630 – 00:16:33.051] And she looked at, she looked for me and, and found me, and took me down to the lobby where there was another person sitting there, another female.

16:13

[00 16:33.051 – 00:16:34.231] Her name was Patty.

16:14

[00 16:34.231 – 00:16:39.631] And she was sitting there, an Indian, like an Indian style with her legs crossed.

16:19

[00 16:39.631 – 00:16:40.871] And she had a T-shirt on.

16:22

[00 16:40.871 – 00:16:46.811] It said, "When the bomb goes off, make sure you're higher than the bomb." And she was eating pomegranates.

16:28

[00 16:46.811 – 00:16:49.931] And she was, she was re- really attractive.

16:30

[00 16:49.931 – 00:16:54.271] And I said, "This is great." You know, I'm 23 years old and, you know.

16:35

[00 16:54.271 – 00:16:57.351] And, uh, they introduced me to Patty.

16:37

[00 16:57.351 – 00:16:58.531] Patty takes me down to the room.

16:40

[00 16:58.531 – 00:17:00.971] We were six or seven other young people.

16:43

[00 17:00.971 – 00:17:03.111] Introduced me to them.

16:44

[00 17:03.111 – 00:17:13.191] We went downstairs to the meeting, and after the meeting, um, everybody says, you know, "Well, what are we do- gonna do now?" And Patty said, "Why don't we come over to my house?"

16:55

[00 17:13.191 – 00:17:16.591] And she asked me if I played Scrabble, for whatever reason.

16:59

[00 17:16.591 – 00:17:26.771] And I said, "Yeah." She said, "Well, I'm very..." Uh, she said, she said to me, "I'm, I'm really good at it, and nobody can beat me." I said, "Well, I can beat you." So

17:10

[00 17:26.771 – 00:17:29.551] now there was a big scr- big Scrabble tournament at Patty's house.

17:14

[00 17:29.551 – 00:17:31.851] Six or seven people came over.

17:16

[00 17:31.851 – 00:17:32.551] We played Scrabble.

17:17

[00 17:32.551 – 00:17:36.651] I beat her by like 10 points, and for the next 50 years we were best friends.

17:22

[00 17:36.651 – 00:17:39.531] That's wonderful.

17:23

[00 17:39.531 – 00:17:43.331] She, she was sober, she was sober three or four years more than I was, and she became my best friend.

17:30

[00 17:43.331 – 00:17:53.391] So, uh, that, that's some of the stuff that I like talking about with our long-timers, is how we made those connections in those

17:37

[00 17:53.391 – 00:17:59.131] early days and, um, and do we still see that today?

17:41

[00 17:59.131 – 00:18:02.411] Because we, we went out for coffee, we went out for pie.

17:45

[00 18:02.411 – 00:18:03.951] We had game nights.

17:46

[00 18:03.951 – 00:18:13.891] All of those things where we socialized with other members, and so that we h- we built that fellowship outside of the program.

17:54

[00 18:13.891 – 00:18:15.671] Was that your experience?

17:55

[00 18:15.671 – 00:18:17.331] Definitely.

17:56

[00 18:17.331 – 00:18:17.591] Yeah.

17:57

[00 18:17.591 – 00:18:19.471] We used to, we used to have a lot of diner sobriety.

18:01

[00 18:19.471 – 00:18:22.591] We'd go to meetings and go to the diner after, you know.

18:05

[00 18:22.591 – 00:18:27.431] Or, uh, the marriage that I was in at that point in time broke up when I was sober.

18:11

[00 18:27.431 – 00:18:30.971] They told me not to make any major decisions for a year, so I didn't.

18:16

[00 18:30.971 – 00:18:33.961] But about a year and a week- ...

18:18

[00 18:33.961 – 00:18:36.571] that marriage broke up finally, you know.

18:20

[00 18:36.571 – 00:18:39.351] It had broken up many times, but this time it finally did.

18:24

[00 18:39.351 – 00:18:42.771] And I, I moved, uh, in with my parents again.

18:28

[00 18:42.771 – 00:18:46.431] I started going to meetings sing- as a single person, basically.

18:31

[00 18:46.431 – 00:18:49.421] And I started hanging out with guys who were in the same situation I was.

18:36

[00 18:49.421 – 00:18:51.511] We'd meet after work.

18:38

[00 18:51.511 – 00:18:52.181] I was working.

18:39

[00 18:52.181 – 00:18:55.891] And then after work we'd meet in this place and have dinner.

18:43

[00 18:55.891 – 00:18:59.031] It was six or seven of us, and then we'd decide what meeting we're going to.

18:48

[00 18:59.031 – 00:19:03.221] Then we'd go to the meeting, come back to the same place, have a cup of coffee, whatever.

18:54

[00 19:03.221 – 00:19:05.111] And we did that every night.

18:56

[00 19:05.111 – 00:19:14.931] And then on weekends, uh, we would go to another meeting, and we would stay out all night, or we'd go play cards.

19:04

[00 19:14.931 – 00:19:25.311] I mean, there, there was many times where we would go to a meeting in, in Baldwin, say at 8:00 at night, go back to a coffee shop at 9:00, 9:30, decide

19:13

[00 19:25.311 – 00:19:29.241] to go to New York City and walk around till 4:00 in the morning.

19:17

[00 19:29.241 – 00:19:30.171] You know, six or seven of us.

19:20

[00 19:30.171 – 00:19:36.611] Or we'd go to a midnight meeting in New Jersey, you know, in a, in a Volkswagen bus, you know.

19:26

[00 19:36.611 – 00:19:38.371] It was, it was so much fun.

19:28

[00 19:38.371 – 00:19:39.331] It really was.

19:30

[00 19:39.331 – 00:19:42.770] God, I was, I was getting home later than I was when I was drinking.

19:35

[00 19:42.770 – 00:19:43.691] Yeah.

19:35

[00 19:43.691 – 00:19:45.931] I was getting home like 6:00, 7:00 in the morning, you know.

19:39

[00 19:45.931 – 00:19:48.721] That was my experience- I don't know what I was out, you know ...

19:43

[00 19:48.721 – 00:19:48.991] too.

19:44

[00 19:48.991 – 00:19:49.931] Yeah.

19:44

[00 19:49.931 – 00:19:50.681] Yeah.

19:45

[00 19:50.681 – 00:19:51.291] But it worked.

19:46

[00 19:51.291 – 00:19:51.931] It worked.

19:47

[00 19:51.931 – 00:19:52.881] It, it did- You know?

19:49

[00 19:52.881 – 00:19:52.881] ...

19:49

[00 19:52.881 – 00:19:53.261] didn't it?

19:50

[00 19:53.261 – 00:19:53.741] Yeah.

19:51

[00 19:53.741 – 00:19:59.191] So you have Ronnie P as a sponsor and, um...

19:54

[00 19:59.191 – 00:20:04.111] So in the, in the '70s in New York, were you...

19:58

[00 20:04.111 – 00:20:06.751] Did he take you into the book to go through the steps?

20:02

[00 20:06.751 – 00:20:09.171] Uh, how did he introduce you to the steps?

20:05

[00 20:09.171 – 00:20:14.611] What was sponsorship like in, um, in the early '70s when, when you came in?

20:10

[00 20:14.611 – 00:20:14.851] That's...

20:11

[00 20:14.851 – 00:20:19.791] Sponsorship was, w- was anything, was nothing like it is today.

20:14

[00 20:19.791 – 00:20:22.111] At least not with the people I hung out with.

20:18

[00 20:22.111 – 00:20:25.171] We didn't do anything with the book.

20:20

[00 20:25.171 – 00:20:26.811] We really didn't.

20:22

[00 20:26.811 – 00:20:28.711] I mean, I have a first edition big book.

20:25

[00 20:28.711 – 00:20:31.011] That was my grandfather's.

20:26

[00 20:31.011 – 00:20:33.331] My grandfather came in AA in 1947.

20:28

[00 20:33.331 – 00:20:36.771] Never stayed sober, but I have his first edition big book.

20:32

[00 20:37.903 – 00:20:44.443] Uh, but the people, you know, we, we, we read the steps, that kind of stuff.

20:37

[00 20:44.443 – 00:20:44.803] We didn't go to...

20:39

[00 20:44.803 – 00:20:46.303] There wasn't many step meetings around then.

20:41

[00 20:46.303 – 00:20:47.463] Mm-hmm.

20:42

[00 20:47.463 – 00:20:50.543] But we all learned by error, basically.

20:44

[00 20:50.543 – 00:20:53.363] You know, we, the one thing we didn't do is we didn't drink.

20:48

[00 20:53.363 – 00:20:58.682] But everything else was subject to interpretation, basically.

20:51

[00 20:58.682 – 00:21:04.043] You know, uh, so there wasn't, it wasn't a lot of, um...

20:55

[00 21:04.043 – 00:21:07.223] It was all fellowship and, and saying, "We, we don't drink.

20:59

[00 21:07.223 – 00:21:17.283] We're just not gonna drink." And, and then we went to, you know, you hear people s- you hear speakers talk about the steps, or you, you'd go to step meetings after there a while, but it was

21:11

[00 21:17.283 – 00:21:18.903] never, it wasn't formal.

21:12

[00 21:18.903 – 00:21:19.933] Right.

21:13

[00 21:19.933 – 00:21:25.723] It wasn't like, "All right, we're gonna sit down, we're gonna read the first step and we're gonna go through it." Nah, that wasn't, that's not my, that wasn't my experience.

21:23

[00 21:25.723 – 00:21:27.043] You know?

21:24

[00 21:27.043 – 00:21:32.143] I didn't do a full, full f- fourth step until I was over 13 years.

21:28

[00 21:32.143 – 00:21:33.683] Okay.

21:29

[00 21:33.683 – 00:21:43.843] So what was that like doing a fourth step at 13 years and, and, um, mainly because that wasn't the culture where you got

21:36

[00 21:43.843 – 00:21:53.823] sober, and to find yourself now going through the steps 13 years sober, and was there a reason you chose to do a fourth step at that point?

21:45

[00 21:53.823 – 00:21:57.693] Was, was there some watershed moment that you w- were going through?

21:49

[00 21:57.693 – 00:21:59.643] Or what brought you to that point?

21:51

[00 21:59.643 – 00:22:03.223] Well, uh, what happened was that, uh, I had gotten married.

21:55

[00 22:03.223 – 00:22:05.683] Uh, I had got, I came into the program when I was married.

21:59

[00 22:05.683 – 00:22:07.003] I had three kids, and I got divorced.

22:02

[00 22:07.003 – 00:22:07.323] All right?

22:03

[00 22:07.323 – 00:22:12.283] The program said that I couldn't run to Florida and try and prevent, prevent that my family, so I didn't.

22:09

[00 22:12.283 – 00:22:16.663] And, and I, I went through the process, the divorce and child support and all that kind of stuff.

22:16

[00 22:16.663 – 00:22:23.683] And I saw my kids every, every weekend, uh, sometimes of- more often, because the program said you gotta be responsible.

22:22

[00 22:23.683 – 00:22:24.133] All right?

22:23

[00 22:24.133 – 00:22:29.263] A lot of mistakes I made was I, I married a girl in the program who I knew for a month.

22:30

[00 22:29.263 – 00:22:33.283] You know, I was sober four or five years.

22:33

[00 22:33.283 – 00:22:41.483] Um, she came to the Freeport group, asked, "How do you join the Freeport group?" She was from California, a tall, blonde nurse.

22:40

[00 22:41.483 – 00:22:46.073] And, uh, I said, "What you just did," because I was the program chairman, the group chairman.

22:46

[00 22:46.073 – 00:22:51.743] I was all that kind of stuff, so I said, "You just joined the Freeport group by saying hello to me." I asked her if she wanted to go to coffee.

22:56

[00 22:51.743 – 00:22:52.363] She said no.

22:57

[00 22:52.363 – 00:22:56.263] Uh, and it wasn't gonna be just for me, it was gonna be with a bunch of people.

23:03

[00 22:56.263 – 00:22:59.083] She said no, and a month later we got married.

23:06

[00 22:59.083 – 00:23:04.673] So the second step's, in my understanding says could, not would.

23:10

[00 23:04.673 – 00:23:07.523] Um, in my case it didn't.

23:12

[00 23:07.523 – 00:23:10.883] Um, we got married on a Wednesday afternoon.

23:15

[00 23:10.883 – 00:23:18.383] Um, and we, we spoke that night at a meeting together, and, uh, it was in a, it was in a hospital in Nassau County.

23:23

[00 23:18.383 – 00:23:21.423] And she, when she, she was the first speaker.

23:26

[00 23:21.423 – 00:23:25.043] And she said, "My name is," her name was Chris.

23:29

[00 23:25.043 – 00:23:33.503] Said, "My name is Chris, I'm an alcoholic, and welcome to my honeymoon." So that's the kind of things we were hanging out with, you know?

23:37

[00 23:33.503 – 00:23:34.523] It was...

23:38

[00 23:34.523 – 00:23:35.863] That, that marriage lasted a year.

23:40

[00 23:35.863 – 00:23:42.203] Uh, you know, which was s- circumstances I won't go through, but whatever.

23:45

[00 23:42.203 – 00:23:46.663] And, um, that's what go, that's what was going on.

23:48

[00 23:46.663 – 00:23:50.403] But all that time, there was always the support of people around me.

23:52

[00 23:50.403 – 00:23:51.543] Right.

23:53

[00 23:51.543 – 00:23:54.303] You know, the one thing I never did was I never stopped going to meetings.

23:58

[00 23:54.303 – 00:23:58.623] You know, in all the time I've been sober I've never stopped going to meetings.

24:03

[00 23:58.623 – 00:24:04.683] I may not have done the, the work that everybody's supposed to do or think, you know.

24:08

[00 24:04.683 – 00:24:05.923] I did it...

24:10

[00 24:05.923 – 00:24:11.163] There was just things that if something came up in your life, you talked to somebody about it.

24:15

[00 24:11.163 – 00:24:11.563] Okay.

24:16

[00 24:11.563 – 00:24:14.343] There was plenty of people, and it was always somebody who had gone through it.

24:21

[00 24:14.343 – 00:24:17.783] It was never s- And my, you know, I was fortunate.

24:25

[00 24:17.783 – 00:24:21.763] W- when I got separated, f- nobody in my group was separated.

24:29

[00 24:21.763 – 00:24:24.783] The Turnpike Group back then was a very stable group.

24:32

[00 24:24.783 – 00:24:25.823] Nobody was getting married.

24:33

[00 24:25.823 – 00:24:26.663] You know, you made...

24:35

[00 24:26.663 – 00:24:28.243] N- not married, divorced.

24:37

[00 24:28.243 – 00:24:30.723] You make your bed, you laid in it, you, you tried to make the best of it.

24:42

[00 24:30.723 – 00:24:34.503] Nobody got separated or divorced, and I was getting separated.

24:45

[00 24:34.503 – 00:24:37.123] I was getting, I was divorced, getting a divorce.

24:48

[00 24:37.123 – 00:24:42.823] And my father said there's a guy that he knew who was speaking at another meeting in Hicksville on a Wednesday night.

24:56

[00 24:42.823 – 00:24:46.363] "Why don't you go and see if you can talk to this guy?" His name was George.

25:01

[00 24:46.363 – 00:24:47.763] And I did.

25:02

[00 24:47.763 – 00:24:57.763] And after that meeting I said to George, and he didn't know me from a hole in the wall, "I understand you're, you're separating." "Yeah, I am." "Why?" I said, "Well, 'cause I'm getting separated, so

25:14

[00 24:57.763 – 00:25:00.403] I, I don't know what's gonna happen." He said, "What's gonna...

25:17

[00 25:00.403 – 00:25:05.923] Let me tell you what you gotta do." I said, "What's that?" He said, "You gotta try everything you can to make it work.

25:25

[00 25:05.923 – 00:25:14.103] And after it fails, then you can walk away with a, with a clear conscience and get on with your life." That's not what I wanted to hear.

25:34

[00 25:14.103 – 00:25:16.423] So that's, that's what he told me.

25:36

[00 25:16.423 – 00:25:18.843] And that's what I, and, and pretty much that's what I did.

25:40

[00 25:18.843 – 00:25:20.403] But that was the thing.

25:42

[00 25:20.403 – 00:25:22.323] Nobody gave you advice of something...

25:44

[00 25:22.323 – 00:25:26.083] I mean, I didn't deal with anybody who gave me advice about something they hadn't been through.

25:50

[00 25:26.083 – 00:25:27.103] Right.

25:50

[00 25:27.103 – 00:25:29.323] And I try to do the same thing, you know?

25:54

[00 25:29.323 – 00:25:29.483] Yeah.

25:54

[00 25:29.483 – 00:25:37.982] Really what we're sh- what we're doing is rather than sharing our opinions about what you should do, we're sharing our experience, strength and hope.

26:02

[00 25:37.982 – 00:25:38.623] Yeah.

26:03

[00 25:38.623 – 00:25:39.663] Right.

26:04

[00 25:39.663 – 00:25:44.093] But there's plenty of people who I ran into who would give you their opinion- Yes ...

26:09

[00 25:44.093 – 00:25:45.963] even though they had no idea what they were talking about.

26:12

[00 25:45.963 – 00:25:47.283] You know?

26:13

[00 25:47.283 – 00:25:48.243] Yes.

26:14

[00 25:48.243 – 00:25:50.663] So what about service commitments?

26:16

[00 25:50.663 – 00:25:56.423] So you, if, if you're not really involved in the book or that kind of thing, you're probably not doing general service.

26:23

[00 25:56.423 – 00:26:04.203] But you, there's still the commitments for the group of coffee maker, and the key guy, and, and setting up the chairs and all of that.

26:31

[00 26:04.203 – 00:26:04.843] What kind of...

26:32

[00 26:04.843 – 00:26:09.453] And of course we, uh, we were, everybody was smoking in those days, so we had to wash- Right ...

26:39

[00 26:09.453 – 00:26:10.643] coffee cups and ashtrays.

26:40

[00 26:10.643 – 00:26:11.593] So what- Right ...

26:41

[00 26:11.593 – 00:26:13.283] kind of service commitments did you have?

26:44

[00 26:13.283 – 00:26:15.203] Everything you could think of.

26:46

[00 26:15.203 – 00:26:16.603] I mean, I was the program chairman.

26:48

[00 26:16.603 – 00:26:17.403] I was the group chairman.

26:50

[00 26:17.403 – 00:26:19.783] I was secretary at one point in time.

26:53

[00 26:19.783 – 00:26:20.783] I was, uh...

26:54

[00 26:20.783 – 00:26:22.643] I don't think, I was just thinking about that.

26:57

[00 26:22.643 – 00:26:27.853] I, I don't think I was ever the treasurer, but I was always, you know, you're always making coffee or, you know.

27:04

[00 26:27.853 – 00:26:33.983] Back then we had two or three coffee makers because you would make, some groups there was like 100 people.

27:10

[00 26:33.983 – 00:26:40.683] In a closed meeting at the Turnpike on a Sunday night there was like 100, 120 people, you know?

27:16

[00 26:40.683 – 00:26:42.543] So you had to have more than one coffee pot.

27:19

[00 26:42.543 – 00:26:44.823] 100, 100 cup coffee pot, a couple of them.

27:21

[00 26:44.823 – 00:26:49.583] And so yeah, I made coffee, uh, a lot.

27:24

[00 26:49.583 – 00:26:50.373] A lot of coffee.

27:26

[00 26:50.373 – 00:26:52.723] We didn't have greeters, uh, per se.

27:28

[00 26:52.723 – 00:26:57.583] Uh, I shouldn't say that actually, because in the Freeport group we had two greeters.

27:33

[00 26:57.583 – 00:27:03.683] When you came down the stairs there was two guys, and, uh, one was, one was a, a African American.

27:40

[00 27:03.683 – 00:27:06.103] The other guy was Italian, muffler shop owner.

27:43

[00 27:06.103 – 00:27:07.503] And both of them were dressed in suits.

27:45

[00 27:07.503 – 00:27:10.423] That's the other change I seen.

27:47

[00 27:10.423 – 00:27:15.903] To, back then if you went out speaking you wore, at least you wore a jacket.

27:53

[00 27:15.903 – 00:27:20.013] You, you, like now, now, you know, it's a little different.

27:56

[00 27:20.013 – 00:27:20.863] It's a little more casual.

27:58

[00 27:20.863 – 00:27:22.323] It's a lot more casual actually.

28:00

[00 27:22.323 – 00:27:24.503] But if you, you were representing AA.

28:03

[00 27:24.503 – 00:27:25.643] Right.

28:03

[00 27:25.643 – 00:27:26.803] You know?

28:04

[00 27:26.803 – 00:27:30.243] And these guys would get dressed, get home, take a shower.

28:08

[00 27:30.435 – 00:27:34.575] Guy, the, the, uh, African American guy, Julius his name was, he, he was a mailman.

28:13

[00 27:34.575 – 00:27:43.435] But when he came downstairs, he was dressed in a suit, you know, with a big smile and welcoming everybody into the group, you know?

28:21

[00 27:43.435 – 00:27:45.695] Just made you feel welcome, you know?

28:24

[00 27:45.695 – 00:27:48.055] And that, that's what I need- What about- You know?

28:27

[00 27:48.055 – 00:27:50.235] What about 12 step calls?

28:29

[00 27:50.235 – 00:27:58.605] Did you get, did you have the opportunity to do 12 step calls and, and do you have any that really stick out for you that, that really- Yeah ...

28:37

[00 27:58.605 – 00:28:01.115] meant something or really touched you?

28:40

[00 28:01.115 – 00:28:06.715] Oh, I, we, we used to do, we used to do a lot of 12 step work, you know?

28:45

[00 28:06.715 – 00:28:09.335] Uh, first of all, I was young, all right?

28:48

[00 28:09.335 – 00:28:16.054] Uh, so if there was young people around, I was involved with them for the most part, you know, on the south shore.

28:56

[00 28:16.054 – 00:28:17.175] And we...

28:57

[00 28:17.175 – 00:28:27.215] The other part of this was, i- in 1972, I was asked if I would want to get involved with my union doing a member assistance

29:05

[00 28:27.215 – 00:28:27.675] program.

29:05

[00 28:27.675 – 00:28:28.835] Oh.

29:06

[00 28:28.835 – 00:28:34.734] By the person who got me the, like, the courtesy call to introduce me to the company.

29:11

[00 28:34.734 – 00:28:36.775] He, he was in a program.

29:14

[00 28:36.775 – 00:28:39.415] Most of the jobs I got in my life were through people in a program.

29:19

[00 28:39.415 – 00:28:41.315] That's just the way it was.

29:21

[00 28:41.315 – 00:28:43.375] And he asked me if I wanted to be involved in it.

29:25

[00 28:43.375 – 00:28:44.375] I said, yeah.

29:26

[00 28:44.375 – 00:28:49.875] There was two other guys who, who he asked also, and they wanted to know what it was gon- what it was gonna pay.

29:34

[00 28:49.875 – 00:28:51.855] I didn't care.

29:35

[00 28:51.855 – 00:28:53.695] I, I just didn't care.

29:37

[00 28:53.695 – 00:28:54.895] So I didn't even ask that question.

29:39

[00 28:54.895 – 00:28:57.135] And, uh, so I got the position.

29:41

[00 28:57.135 – 00:28:58.295] So I, you know.

29:43

[00 28:58.295 – 00:29:01.555] And they gave us trainings and it wasn't like, we weren't doing 12 step work.

29:48

[00 29:01.555 – 00:29:02.975] It's a little different, members assistance.

29:50

[00 29:02.975 – 00:29:12.695] Um, but yeah, so I was involved in that kind of stuff, you know, for end up, for 40 some odd years, uh, I went up in that program.

29:59

[00 29:12.695 – 00:29:15.905] And, uh, but you know, if somebody...

30:01

[00 29:15.905 – 00:29:22.895] The first 12 step call I went on was for the vice president of this company that we were on strike against.

30:08

[00 29:22.895 – 00:29:32.965] And me and this guy, we had to go get this vice president, and we, we got him, we found him, got him into a detox and, uh,

30:17

[00 29:32.965 – 00:29:36.475] he started going to meetings, and he stayed sober, which was a nice thing.

30:21

[00 29:36.475 – 00:29:39.184] And, uh- I used to argue with him in meetings.

30:25

[00 29:39.184 – 00:29:45.915] I was a shop steward at that point in time with my union, and I used to argue with this guy about what was gonna happen.

30:33

[00 29:45.915 – 00:29:47.395] We were on strike for seven months.

30:35

[00 29:47.395 – 00:29:51.475] So, and he said, "Go back to work.

30:38

[00 29:51.475 – 00:29:53.055] You're not gonna get any more money.

30:41

[00 29:53.055 – 00:30:01.335] Go back to work." And I tell the president of the union, you know, "I met with this guy and he said this." "Oh, worry about it." And seven months later we went back to work and we didn't get any more money.

30:54

[00 30:01.335 – 00:30:02.315] But whatever.

30:55

[00 30:02.315 – 00:30:03.255] So he was right.

30:57

[00 30:03.255 – 00:30:05.915] Uh, and that's how it started.

30:59

[00 30:05.915 – 00:30:15.955] And we had some specialized training, you know, and, uh, it isn't, it isn't 12 step work, even though people in the program thought it was, and they used to bust my shoes about,

31:09

[00 30:15.955 – 00:30:20.035] "Oh, you're getting paid to do 12 step work." It's not 12 step work, you know?

31:14

[00 30:20.035 – 00:30:25.475] And, and that's turned around since then, but in the early '70s, that's the way it was considered, you know?

31:20

[00 30:25.475 – 00:30:25.715] Yeah.

31:21

[00 30:25.715 – 00:30:27.255] You don't do that kind of stuff so.

31:24

[00 30:27.255 – 00:30:31.955] But yeah, so as far as 12 step work goes, yeah, I've been on 12 step calls.

31:29

[00 30:31.955 – 00:30:39.455] You know, I went, I went one with my father and we were taking a guy, uh, we picked him up and we took him out to Central Islip Hospital, which was a...

31:39

[00 30:39.455 – 00:30:42.135] Back then, there wasn't many rehabs.

31:41

[00 30:42.135 – 00:30:47.795] This was a state hospital, a psychiatric hospital who had a, what they had a, a building.

31:47

[00 30:47.795 – 00:30:53.035] And we took him and he was, he was home before we got home.

31:51

[00 30:53.035 – 00:30:57.935] I had- We got the door- I had one of those 12 step calls too.

31:56

[00 30:57.935 – 00:30:58.475] Yeah.

31:57

[00 30:58.475 – 00:30:59.165] Yeah.

31:57

[00 30:59.165 – 00:31:09.475] But the one, when I was married to my, to my wife, the second wife, she got a 12 step call on a Sunday night, uh, about a female,

32:06

[00 31:09.475 – 00:31:12.615] and, uh, she couldn't find another female to go with her.

32:10

[00 31:12.615 – 00:31:18.155] So she said, "Could you go with me?" And I didn't like to do that.

32:15

[00 31:18.155 – 00:31:21.635] You know, first of all, I like to separate the programs anyway.

32:19

[00 31:21.635 – 00:31:26.555] Anyway, so I, she couldn't get anybody else, so I, I wouldn't let her go by herself, 'cause she would've.

32:25

[00 31:26.555 – 00:31:29.875] So we went and it was a female.

32:28

[00 31:29.875 – 00:31:30.755] She was drunk.

32:29

[00 31:30.755 – 00:31:36.955] She said she wanted help, and we knocked on the door and, you know, she let us in.

32:35

[00 31:36.955 – 00:31:38.115] We're sitting in the kitchen talking.

32:37

[00 31:38.115 – 00:31:42.035] My wife was talking to her about the program and about getting sober and maybe we'd get to a hospital.

32:44

[00 31:42.035 – 00:31:52.055] All of a sudden there's a noise, like in the bedroom, and it's her husband, and he comes out, I guess he was sleeping, and

32:52

[00 31:52.055 – 00:31:55.555] he's got a shotgun or some kind of, some kind of rifle type thing.

32:56

[00 31:55.555 – 00:32:05.655] And he said, "What are you doing in my house?" And so my wife said, you know, "Well, your wife invited us in." "Well, get out." And my wife, being

33:06

[00 32:05.655 – 00:32:07.145] who she was, said, "No, we're not leaving.

33:08

[00 32:07.145 – 00:32:14.295] She needs help." He says, "Get out." And I'm telling her, "Listen, this is his house.

33:14

[00 32:14.295 – 00:32:20.425] You know, we can't stay." "No, no, I'm staying." "No, no, you're leaving." You know?

33:18

[00 32:20.425 – 00:32:23.565] And we left, and I never saw the woman again.

33:22

[00 32:23.565 – 00:32:27.035] But you know, that's what, sometimes you run into stuff.

33:25

[00 32:27.035 – 00:32:28.395] That's why they say always go with two.

33:28

[00 32:28.395 – 00:32:29.235] Yeah.

33:29

[00 32:29.235 – 00:32:32.605] Never do it by yourself, 'cause you never know what you're gonna run into, you know?

33:34

[00 32:32.605 – 00:32:33.255] Exactly.

33:34

[00 32:33.255 – 00:32:34.595] But yeah.

33:35

[00 32:34.595 – 00:32:45.015] So did you come to a place in your sobriety where you got in- got into the book and got into the steps, um, working with sponsees

33:44

[00 32:45.015 – 00:32:46.455] or working with a sponsor?

33:46

[00 32:46.455 – 00:32:49.454] Um, what's that experience been like for you?

33:49

[00 32:49.454 – 00:32:55.665] It's, again, it, it was, it's a little different than it is now, I guess.

33:53

[00 32:55.665 – 00:33:01.435] By the time we started doing that kind of stuff, people, you know, I keep this program very simple.

34:00

[00 33:01.435 – 00:33:06.775] You know, um, I read, I read the book.

34:03

[00 33:06.775 – 00:33:12.995] I've read the book a number of times, different editions of the book, different stories, whatever, um, and the 12 and 12.

34:09

[00 33:12.995 – 00:33:16.355] But I never, I, I have never taken somebody through the 12 and 12.

34:13

[00 33:16.355 – 00:33:18.535] Just never have.

34:14

[00 33:18.535 – 00:33:24.575] You know, sit down and say, "Okay, we're gonna do this." I've, I've done it with certain people to some extent.

34:21

[00 33:24.575 – 00:33:34.635] Uh, you know, I picked something up after somebody, they had a sponsor who did, like, the first five or six steps, and then they had a falling out, and then you pick them up from the

34:33

[00 33:34.635 – 00:33:36.335] seventh step or eighth step or whatever else.

34:35

[00 33:36.335 – 00:33:42.195] Um, but to sit down with a newcomer and actually go through the steps, no, I've never done that.

34:42

[00 33:42.195 – 00:33:42.505] Okay.

34:42

[00 33:42.505 – 00:33:43.635] And it was never done for me either.

34:45

[00 33:43.635 – 00:33:44.525] Exactly.

34:46

[00 33:44.525 – 00:33:46.285] Just never did that, you know?

34:48

[00 33:46.285 – 00:33:50.514] So I, I do the same stuff, uh, with people that was done with me.

34:53

[00 33:50.514 – 00:33:53.175] You know, I don't, uh...

34:54

[00 33:53.175 – 00:33:57.315] I have no, uh, original thoughts about sobriety.

34:57

[00 33:57.315 – 00:34:02.035] You know, it's either stuff I stole from somebody or I heard from somebody that, you know...

35:03

[00 34:02.035 – 00:34:08.755] This wealth of information, AA, I mean, in the fellowship, um, and that's, that's how I learned.

35:08

[00 34:08.755 – 00:34:11.235] That's how I, that's how I live my life, you know?

35:12

[00 34:11.235 – 00:34:15.335] And so far it's worked pretty good, you know, so far.

35:16

[00 34:15.335 – 00:34:22.875] Today- Did you, did you have any AA conferences or, um, camp, uh, you were involved with the young people's-

35:22

[00 34:22.990 – 00:34:23.221] group.

35:23

[00 34:23.221 – 00:34:26.491] Did you do any camp outs or any of those kinds of things?

35:27

[00 34:26.491 – 00:34:29.141] What were, uh, what was that like in your area?

35:30

[00 34:29.141 – 00:34:35.841] Well, I also got involved with Alateen.

35:33

[00 34:35.841 – 00:34:37.261] Okay.

35:33

[00 34:37.261 – 00:34:43.521] I, 'cause, uh, it was, it was a time in my sobriety and, and when I wasn't seeing my own kids.

35:40

[00 34:43.521 – 00:34:47.381] Problems with, you know, my wife, my ex-wife, whatever.

35:43

[00 34:47.381 – 00:34:49.781] So I wasn't really seeing my own kids on a regular basis.

35:47

[00 34:49.781 – 00:34:57.841] So, me and that woman, Patty, I spoke about, wound up s- uh, heh, starting an Alateen group in Freeport.

35:54

[00 34:57.841 – 00:34:59.621] There was one in Baldwin.

35:55

[00 34:59.621 – 00:35:02.741] This was gonna be a step Alateen group.

35:58

[00 35:02.741 – 00:35:12.781] And, uh, I learned more from those kids and from that program as far as, uh, emotional

36:04

[00 35:12.781 – 00:35:19.761] stuff, uh, from those kids and, and their dealings with their parents.

36:08

[00 35:19.761 – 00:35:29.821] Uh- Can you talk a little bit about, talk a little bit about the Alateen program and what you did with those kids, and how you, how you brought it together, how

36:18

[00 35:29.821 – 00:35:32.101] you organized it, how you worked with them.

36:21

[00 35:32.101 – 00:35:40.341] Um, I think that a lot of us, unless we have children ourselves, we may not know anything about Alateen.

36:27

[00 35:40.341 – 00:35:45.051] Would you, would you share a little bit about that experience and how you worked with those kids?

36:33

[00 35:45.051 – 00:35:46.941] It was a great experience.

36:35

[00 35:46.941 – 00:35:50.401] It was, it was one of the better things in my sobriety.

36:39

[00 35:50.401 – 00:36:00.281] Um, I, I got involved, um, you know, uh, I'm not exactly sure how I got involved, but we did.

36:45

[00 36:00.281 – 00:36:04.921] And, uh, there was probably 10 or 12 kids.

36:48

[00 36:04.921 – 00:36:07.281] And they were...

36:49

[00 36:07.281 – 00:36:09.661] I knew their parents, you know, basically.

36:51

[00 36:09.661 – 00:36:12.301] And they, they had come from this group and we...

36:55

[00 36:12.301 – 00:36:17.181] They set us up talking to this other couple guys who were, guy and woman, who were Alateen sponsors.

37:01

[00 36:17.181 – 00:36:23.581] And there's some, there was books involved and, you know, we would, we'd read from the book and we'd have meetings and whatever.

37:08

[00 36:23.581 – 00:36:31.101] And I wound up taking these kids, like, to a, a group out in, say, the other end of Long Island.

37:15

[00 36:31.101 – 00:36:33.661] And I would go to a- to conferences.

37:18

[00 36:33.661 – 00:36:35.021] I'd take these kids to conferences.

37:20

[00 36:35.021 – 00:36:36.401] You know, I was the sponsor.

37:22

[00 36:36.401 – 00:36:43.621] And, uh, they used to have conferences like in, uh, New Jersey, colleges and stuff.

37:27

[00 36:43.621 – 00:36:53.661] And you would go there, and I would take them and they would have, you know, uh, all kinds of therapy sessions and, and speakers of, of kids who was, who

37:37

[00 36:53.661 – 00:36:55.891] were staying, uh, changing.

37:38

[00 36:55.891 – 00:37:01.621] And, um, it's hard to, it's really hard to describe.

37:41

[00 37:01.621 – 00:37:07.661] These, these kids were looking for, for guidance, you know.

37:45

[00 37:07.661 – 00:37:17.401] And the, the real, the woman I was involved in, in, in Alateen, what happened was, since it's an Al-Anon program, we couldn't have two AA people involved in it as sponsors.

37:55

[00 37:17.401 – 00:37:21.621] They insisted that if we're gonna keep the group, we had to have an Al-Anon woman.

38:00

[00 37:21.621 – 00:37:24.401] If I was gonna stay, we had to have an Al-Anon woman.

38:04

[00 37:24.401 – 00:37:25.061] And we did.

38:05

[00 37:25.061 – 00:37:30.801] We had a woman who volunteered that she wanted to be in the group, and we became friends and we ran the, the group pretty well.

38:14

[00 37:30.801 – 00:37:40.801] But those kids were so into the program of changing their lives and, and trying to react to their parents that it

38:21

[00 37:40.801 – 00:37:42.061] was a, it was a great experience.

38:23

[00 37:42.061 – 00:37:43.781] It was really a great experience.

38:25

[00 37:43.781 – 00:37:46.091] They, we went to conferences.

38:27

[00 37:46.091 – 00:37:52.901] There was an ESA conference and there was an Alateen conference in Atlantic City, and we had, we, I, I drove them.

38:34

[00 37:52.901 – 00:37:55.701] You know, I, I drove them all over the place.

38:38

[00 37:55.701 – 00:38:02.001] And the, the other side of it is, what happened was, uh, that group, there was 10 kids in that group.

38:44

[00 38:02.001 – 00:38:07.041] I think six of them today are sober.

38:47

[00 38:07.041 – 00:38:07.981] And sober long-term.

38:48

[00 38:07.981 – 00:38:10.161] Yeah.

38:49

[00 38:10.161 – 00:38:14.761] I, I took one, one of my, uh, kids, Alateen kids, to their first meeting.

38:54

[00 38:14.761 – 00:38:18.681] And she didn't stay sober from the first meeting.

38:57

[00 38:18.681 – 00:38:20.781] I, but I, but I took her to the first meeting and I said, "Listen.

39:01

[00 38:20.781 – 00:38:22.231] Keep an open mind.

39:03

[00 38:22.231 – 00:38:28.741] You know your parent, you know, your mother was an alcoholic." Uh, and she's, and she talks about it.

39:09

[00 38:28.741 – 00:38:32.481] I, I had the pleasure of meeting her at one of the con- uh, internationals.

39:14

[00 38:32.481 – 00:38:34.461] Hadn't seen her.

39:15

[00 38:34.461 – 00:38:35.461] She moved to Colorado.

39:17

[00 38:35.461 – 00:38:41.161] And she said, "You know, I'm sober today because you took us to meetings." You know?

39:22

[00 38:41.161 – 00:38:45.781] And, and that, that's what, to me, it does my heart good.

39:26

[00 38:45.781 – 00:38:46.621] Yeah.

39:27

[00 38:46.621 – 00:38:46.881] You know?

39:28

[00 38:46.881 – 00:38:52.221] Uh, they taught me how to cry, you know, to, with, out, with joy.

39:32

[00 38:52.221 – 00:38:55.881] You know, it was a, they had this thing called a warm fuzz.

39:36

[00 38:55.881 – 00:38:58.661] And I think it's gestalt therapy or something.

39:39

[00 38:58.661 – 00:39:05.101] And they would, they would give you, you know, when you were going through something they'd come over and give you a warm fuzz to get you out of it.

39:49

[00 39:05.101 – 00:39:06.460] You know, and that kind of stuff.

39:51

[00 39:06.460 – 00:39:08.021] So I learned all kinds of stuff from those kids.

39:54

[00 39:08.021 – 00:39:13.361] And like I said, uh, f- four or five of them have been sober probably 40 years.

40:00

[00 39:13.361 – 00:39:15.741] Isn't that amazing?

40:01

[00 39:15.741 – 00:39:16.151] Or better at this point.

40:03

[00 39:16.151 – 00:39:16.251] Yeah.

40:03

[00 39:16.251 – 00:39:16.521] It is.

40:04

[00 39:16.521 – 00:39:17.401] It's, it's wonderful.

40:06

[00 39:17.401 – 00:39:18.461] It's w- it's wonderful.

40:07

[00 39:18.461 – 00:39:20.361] It's one of the best- Yeah ...

40:09

[00 39:20.361 – 00:39:21.701] best parts of my sobriety really.

40:11

[00 39:21.701 – 00:39:22.581] Yeah.

40:12

[00 39:22.581 – 00:39:26.321] Thank you so much for your service for the, for those, uh, alcoholics.

40:16

[00 39:26.321 – 00:39:27.161] That's wonderful.

40:17

[00 39:27.161 – 00:39:28.721] It was, it was my pleasure.

40:19

[00 39:28.721 – 00:39:29.281] Believe me.

40:20

[00 39:29.281 – 00:39:32.291] So you mentioned i- an international.

40:22

[00 39:32.291 – 00:39:35.141] So h- um, did you go to Vancouver?

40:25

[00 39:35.141 – 00:39:36.761] No, I did not go to Vancouver.

40:28

[00 39:36.761 – 00:39:37.341] Okay.

40:28

[00 39:37.341 – 00:39:42.761] I, we- But you have been to, you have been to, um, some internationals.

40:33

[00 39:42.761 – 00:39:45.401] Um, what was your experience with the internationals?

40:36

[00 39:45.401 – 00:39:46.581] Oh, they were great.

40:37

[00 39:46.581 – 00:39:47.661] Absolutely great.

40:38

[00 39:47.661 – 00:39:50.881] My first one was San Diego.

40:40

[00 39:50.881 – 00:39:54.321] Uh, I had, I went by myself.

40:43

[00 39:54.321 – 00:39:58.801] I, you know, I mean, I knew other people going, but you're telling me there's gonna be 50,000 people there.

40:49

[00 39:58.801 – 00:40:01.561] How am I gonna hook up with these people?

40:52

[00 40:01.561 – 00:40:02.301] You know what I mean?

40:54

[00 40:02.301 – 00:40:04.401] 'Cause cellphones were not around back then.

40:56

[00 40:04.401 – 00:40:04.801] Right.

40:57

[00 40:04.801 – 00:40:05.661] Or they weren't prevalent.

40:58

[00 40:05.661 – 00:40:12.521] So anyway, I, I, I had to go to another convention, a, a union convention after San Diego.

41:04

[00 40:12.521 – 00:40:16.061] And anyway, so I go to San Diego.

41:07

[00 40:16.061 – 00:40:17.821] I'm, I'm staying in a DoubleTree hotel.

41:09

[00 40:17.821 – 00:40:20.471] I get a phone call from, the phone rings.

41:12

[00 40:20.471 – 00:40:30.661] All of a sudden this, this guy called, and he says, uh, "What room are you in?" I said, "Where are you?" He said, "I'm in a DoubleTree." I didn't know he was going,

41:23

[00 40:30.661 – 00:40:30.821] you know.

41:24

[00 40:30.821 – 00:40:31.981] And he found out where I was going.

41:27

[00 40:31.981 – 00:40:32.941] Then he went...

41:28

[00 40:32.941 – 00:40:36.461] I was supposed to meet this woman that I used to sponsor, moved to Florida.

41:33

[00 40:36.461 – 00:40:43.761] And, uh, I'm walking into convention center to register, and the first person I see is this woman, Joanie.

41:39

[00 40:43.761 – 00:40:46.981] So I mean, God works in strange ways, you know?

41:42

[00 40:46.981 – 00:40:48.061] Yeah.

41:43

[00 40:48.061 – 00:40:58.141] Uh, so we go to San Diego, uh, and go to a convention, and you know, speakers and, you know, you're overwhelmed by 50,000 people saying the Lord's Prayer at the end

41:53

[00 40:58.141 – 00:40:58.721] of a meeting.

41:54

[00 40:58.721 – 00:41:00.421] It's just amazing.

41:55

[00 41:00.421 – 00:41:02.541] You know, the fellowship and stuff.

41:57

[00 41:02.541 – 00:41:09.401] Anyway, so I'm leaving San Diego and I'm driving to Las Vegas, my next convention.

42:02

[00 41:09.401 – 00:41:11.001] And I'm by myself.

42:04

[00 41:11.001 – 00:41:15.331] And V- Las Vegas is, for me, is not a good place to be by myself.

42:09

[00 41:16.073 – 00:41:21.253] Okay Not, not so much, not because I'm drinking, 'cause I, I didn't drink.

42:14

[00 41:21.253 – 00:41:25.053] I was sober probably, I don't know, 20 years, maybe 25 years at that point in time.

42:19

[00 41:25.053 – 00:41:28.713] But, you know, I, I don't like eating by myself.

42:22

[00 41:28.713 – 00:41:31.273] I don't like being by myself in my room type of thing.

42:26

[00 41:31.273 – 00:41:36.603] Anyway, so I, I decide I'm gonna have dinner, and I walk into...

42:30

[00 41:36.603 – 00:41:42.653] I said, "I'll go to the buffet." And I'm in the buffet, and there's a table of 10 older people.

42:36

[00 41:42.653 – 00:41:47.013] I was pretty young then, but there was older, older people, couples sitting at this table of 10.

42:42

[00 41:47.013 – 00:41:56.933] And this guy walks in, and he was part of that group, and he says, "I don't, I, uh..." He, and he says, "I just came from San Diego." And I'm...

42:52

[00 41:56.933 – 00:41:58.813] Listen, I'm sitting, like, at a table next to them.

42:55

[00 41:58.813 – 00:42:05.373] And he says, "There was a bunch of alcoholics there." And all these guys, well, now there's 10 people saying, "Oh, they're all drunks," and blah, blah, blah.

43:04

[00 42:05.373 – 00:42:12.553] He says, "No." He says, "They're all nuts, not drinking." He says, "And there was something in that city when you walked in.

43:11

[00 42:12.553 – 00:42:13.993] You felt it.

43:12

[00 42:13.993 – 00:42:16.993] It was completely out of the ordinary.

43:15

[00 42:16.993 – 00:42:19.503] I've never felt anything like that in my life." And I'm sitting there.

43:19

[00 42:19.503 – 00:42:20.873] And I didn't break my anonymity.

43:21

[00 42:20.873 – 00:42:21.453] I didn't say anything.

43:23

[00 42:21.453 – 00:42:22.413] I just sat there beaming.

43:24

[00 42:22.413 – 00:42:29.233] And this guy was talking about, he's not, he was an alcoholic, but that he...

43:29

[00 42:29.233 – 00:42:33.773] You know, he's talking to his f- his friends about what he felt in San Diego.

43:35

[00 42:33.773 – 00:42:35.573] Isn't that amazing?

43:36

[00 42:35.573 – 00:42:36.653] Oh, it was.

43:37

[00 42:36.653 – 00:42:37.373] It made my whole...

43:39

[00 42:37.373 – 00:42:41.193] You know, I was comfortable then for the next two or three days until the other convention started.

43:44

[00 42:41.193 – 00:42:42.033] I was fine.

43:46

[00 42:42.033 – 00:42:42.533] You know?

43:47

[00 42:42.533 – 00:42:43.213] Yeah.

43:47

[00 42:43.213 – 00:42:46.413] It's, it's amazing how those things happen.

43:50

[00 42:46.413 – 00:42:56.563] I, I was also in San Diego and, and, um, my favorite ex-husband had a wonderful, um, story about San Diego that, um, I'll share another

43:58

[00 42:56.563 – 00:42:56.933] time.

43:58

[00 42:56.933 – 00:42:58.853] But, um, I just...

44:00

[00 42:58.853 – 00:43:04.233] Yeah, San Diego and, and all of the internationals that I've been to have just been really fabulous.

44:06

[00 43:04.233 – 00:43:12.503] So when you share at an AA meeting, do you have some favorite experiences that you like to talk about that the program has helped you through?

44:14

[00 43:12.503 – 00:43:20.353] Something that, um, you know, that one of those people that knows you really well that's on this meeting could ask you, "Well, what about this, Ed?

44:23

[00 43:20.353 – 00:43:26.673] What about that story that you always tell?" Well, there's a lot of them, but, uh, 'cause I've had a lot of experiences.

44:30

[00 43:26.673 – 00:43:27.323] I mean ...

44:31

[00 43:27.323 – 00:43:27.793] Right.

44:32

[00 43:27.793 – 00:43:28.613] 50 years.

44:32

[00 43:28.613 – 00:43:28.913] You know, when you...

44:34

[00 43:28.913 – 00:43:31.693] Plus, I came in, I was young.

44:36

[00 43:31.693 – 00:43:32.073] Yeah.

44:37

[00 43:32.073 – 00:43:37.273] And I was single, you know, for a lot of, for some of it, so it was a whole different ballgame.

44:44

[00 43:37.273 – 00:43:38.972] You're hanging out with different people.

44:46

[00 43:38.972 – 00:43:40.613] You know, I wasn't hanging out with married couples.

44:49

[00 43:40.613 – 00:43:41.993] I was hanging out with single guys.

44:51

[00 43:41.993 – 00:43:44.833] So there was a lot of, um...

44:54

[00 43:44.833 – 00:43:45.813] I don't know.

44:55

[00 43:45.813 – 00:43:46.033] We...

44:56

[00 43:46.033 – 00:43:50.092] At one point in time, we joined this, this place called Parents Without Partners.

45:00

[00 43:50.092 – 00:43:51.733] You know?

45:01

[00 43:51.733 – 00:43:56.793] There was, like, six of us, and that didn't, it didn't work out for me, but it worked out for a couple of guys.

45:09

[00 43:56.793 – 00:43:59.013] Uh, that kind of stuff, you know?

45:11

[00 43:59.013 – 00:44:00.233] And we had a bowling alley.

45:14

[00 44:00.233 – 00:44:10.893] We had a bowling team, a bowling league on, on Sunday nights, and it was, uh, you know, the, it was called Saints and Sinners

45:22

[00 44:10.893 – 00:44:11.593] was the name of the league.

45:24

[00 44:11.593 – 00:44:16.213] And it was something to do besides going to a meeting on a Sunday night.

45:29

[00 44:16.213 – 00:44:17.853] It was socialization.

45:30

[00 44:17.853 – 00:44:18.493] It was fellowship.

45:31

[00 44:18.493 – 00:44:24.013] It was 90% people in the program, and we, we did that for years.

45:35

[00 44:24.013 – 00:44:26.533] I met my, my present wife, uh, through that.

45:38

[00 44:26.533 – 00:44:29.673] Uh, that kind of stuff.

45:40

[00 44:29.673 – 00:44:30.583] But what was it?

45:42

[00 44:30.583 – 00:44:31.263] What were you talking about?

45:44

[00 44:31.263 – 00:44:32.153] You...

45:44

[00 44:32.153 – 00:44:34.153] Experiences I had that people helped me with?

45:47

[00 44:34.153 – 00:44:38.243] Yeah, just, um, some story that, that you like to share- Okay ...

45:51

[00 44:38.243 – 00:44:42.293] about y- about your sobriety that you think of when you share.

45:55

[00 44:42.293 – 00:44:42.633] I was...

45:56

[00 44:42.633 – 00:44:45.953] You know, I, I had, uh, never been in front of a judge.

46:00

[00 44:45.953 – 00:44:46.733] I had never been arrested.

46:02

[00 44:46.733 – 00:44:51.183] I was always, if, if I saw a blue uniform, I, I became insolvable.

46:07

[00 44:51.183 – 00:44:51.593] Yes, sir.

46:08

[00 44:51.593 – 00:44:52.013] No, sir.

46:08

[00 44:52.013 – 00:44:52.893] It was polite.

46:10

[00 44:52.893 – 00:44:53.333] You know?

46:11

[00 44:53.333 – 00:44:55.513] They weren't doing D- DWIs back then.

46:13

[00 44:55.513 – 00:45:06.953] But I was going through a divorce, and I was at the Turnpike at a, at a beginners meeting, 'cause that was on Tuesday night, and I, I started talking about what was going on in my life, you

46:25

[00 45:06.953 – 00:45:10.333] know, with the divorce and the separation and whatever.

46:28

[00 45:10.333 – 00:45:12.833] And I had to go to family court on a Friday.

46:32

[00 45:12.833 – 00:45:22.743] And, and, and this, in this county or New York, I guess, this, a big room that you go into, and it's, it's like the defendants on one side, that's all guys.

46:42

[00 45:22.743 – 00:45:25.093] You have plaintiffs on the other side, it's all females.

46:46

[00 45:25.093 – 00:45:35.173] So we're, I'm sitting there, and a guy from the Turnpike Group walks in with a newspaper and two cups of coffee, and this

46:53

[00 45:35.173 – 00:45:36.092] guy's name was Bobby.

46:55

[00 45:36.092 – 00:45:39.813] And, uh, he goes down, he says, and he sits next to me and he says, uh...

47:00

[00 45:39.813 – 00:45:47.913] I said to him, "Bobby, what are you doing here?" At first, he said, "Is a regular coffee okay?" And I said, "Yeah, that's great." He says, "I've been here many times.

47:10

[00 45:47.913 – 00:45:48.993] I know what it's like.

47:12

[00 45:48.993 – 00:45:54.113] I figured I'd come and support you." And he sat with me all day.

47:17

[00 45:54.113 – 00:46:00.833] He told me he had been there many times, uh, and there was nothing like not being there.

47:23

[00 46:00.833 – 00:46:10.293] So after it's all over, I'm outside with him and I said, "You know, how can I ever repay you for this?" You know, because nobody in a bar was ever doing anything like that for me.

47:34

[00 46:10.293 – 00:46:11.473] You know?

47:35

[00 46:11.473 – 00:46:13.073] They would tell me, "Just get drunk, you'll be fine.

47:39

[00 46:13.073 – 00:46:23.233] Just have another drink, you'll be fine." So he said, "Well, you can give me a ride home." I said, "Well, how'd you get here?" He

47:47

[00 46:23.233 – 00:46:27.493] said, "I walked." Now, he lived like two or three miles from the, from the family court.

47:52

[00 46:27.493 – 00:46:29.873] I said, "Yeah.

47:54

[00 46:29.873 – 00:46:33.953] Well, of course I'll give you a ride home." He says, "And the other thing is you can...

47:59

[00 46:33.953 – 00:46:44.593] If you know somebody's got to go to court, you can

48:03

[00 46:44.593 – 00:46:45.633] go with them.

48:04

[00 46:45.633 – 00:46:54.013] You go with them." He was a cr- He was a, he was a nasty, tough drunk, and we'd get into fist fights at meetings.

48:12

[00 46:54.013 – 00:46:57.293] But he also showed me how this program works.

48:15

[00 46:57.293 – 00:47:02.753] He showed me, he showed me more than the guys that, that sit up there and read the big book and, you know- Yeah ...

48:23

[00 47:02.753 – 00:47:06.613] this guy showed me one drunk helping another, so that one stuck out.

48:27

[00 47:06.613 – 00:47:08.293] And I've done that, obviously.

48:29

[00 47:08.293 – 00:47:10.153] I've been to court with other people.

48:32

[00 47:10.153 – 00:47:12.013] That's wonderful.

48:32

[00 47:12.013 – 00:47:19.353] So it's, um, it's about 13 minutes before the hour, so I'm going to take us off spotlight.

48:38

[00 47:19.353 – 00:47:29.613] I'm going to, um, ask folks that, um, are in the meeting to remove spotlight.

48:43

[00 47:29.613 – 00:47:34.473] And remove spotlight.

48:44

[00 47:34.473 – 00:47:42.883] So, um, I'm going to ask some of the folks that are in the meeting to please, um, come in and ask a question.

48:52

[00 47:42.883 – 00:47:45.353] And please ask a question.

48:54

[00 47:45.353 – 00:47:48.273] Um, respect the format of the meeting.

48:56

[00 47:48.273 – 00:47:53.673] You can thank, uh, Ed a little bit later just before we close the meeting.

49:01

[00 47:53.673 – 00:48:03.413] But if you have a question to ask or if you have a favorite story of Ed's to ask him to share, um, please come in and do that.

49:10

[00 48:03.413 – 00:48:08.043] And Deb S., you know, I almost went right past you to go over to-

49:15

[00 48:08.225 – 00:48:09.765] Jody, 'cause you're here every month.

49:17

[00 48:09.765 – 00:48:14.145] But I'm, I'm gonna ask you to unmute and come in and ask Ed a question.

49:22

[00 48:14.145 – 00:48:15.344] Thank you, Penny.

49:24

[00 48:15.344 – 00:48:16.505] Thank you for the meeting.

49:26

[00 48:16.505 – 00:48:26.765] Um, Ed and I go back to 1993 when I was a newcomer, and I used to go to meetings with him, Norman, Byron, Michael,

49:33

[00 48:26.765 – 00:48:30.645] um, to his two home groups twice a week out in Long Island from Queens.

49:38

[00 48:30.645 – 00:48:40.885] Um, what I wanted to know, Ed, is did you ever feel like you missed out on anything by not formally going through the big book to do

49:47

[00 48:40.885 – 00:48:41.825] the steps?

49:48

[00 48:41.825 – 00:48:53.405] Ed?

49:48

[00 48:53.405 – 00:48:54.485] Yeah.

49:49

[00 48:54.485 – 00:48:55.215] I was- Oh ...

49:50

[00 48:55.215 – 00:48:56.645] I couldn't un- I couldn't unmute for a while.

49:53

[00 48:56.645 – 00:48:58.365] Um- Sorry ...

49:54

[00 48:58.365 – 00:48:59.765] do I feel like I missed anything?

49:57

[00 48:59.765 – 00:48:59.945] No.

49:57

[00 48:59.945 – 00:49:01.345] No.

49:58

[00 49:01.345 – 00:49:11.305] The reason being that, uh, whatever I, I came up against, there was somebody in the program I could talk to about it, and maybe they had gone through the steps and used them, you know?

50:09

[00 49:11.305 – 00:49:19.025] So I, I used, uh, I used people more than the book, you know?

50:14

[00 49:19.025 – 00:49:21.165] I, I don't think I missed anything.

50:16

[00 49:21.165 – 00:49:24.265] I can't imagine my life being any different.

50:19

[00 49:24.265 – 00:49:25.705] You know?

50:20

[00 49:25.705 – 00:49:27.605] Uh, maybe, maybe it could've.

50:22

[00 49:27.605 – 00:49:31.685] I don't know, but I'm pretty comfortable in my sobriety today.

50:26

[00 49:31.685 – 00:49:32.345] Okay.

50:26

[00 49:32.345 – 00:49:36.185] Uh, Jody, would you like to come in and ask Ed a question?

50:30

[00 49:36.185 – 00:49:37.285] Sure.

50:31

[00 49:37.285 – 00:49:39.385] I'm Jody, and I'm an alcoholic.

50:33

[00 49:39.385 – 00:49:44.265] Ed, um, you didn't mention one of my favorite stories is, uh- I know ...

50:38

[00 49:44.265 – 00:49:49.045] where you tell the story about when you went to Florida and your father was passing away.

50:43

[00 49:49.045 – 00:49:49.445] Yeah.

50:44

[00 49:49.445 – 00:49:50.735] Yep.

50:45

[00 49:50.735 – 00:49:50.965] Yeah, I...

50:46

[00 49:50.965 – 00:49:51.865] Uh, okay.

50:46

[00 49:51.865 – 00:50:00.705] Well, my, my father moved to Florida in, uh, uh, I don't know, probably 1989 or so, and he died in '99, okay?

50:53

[00 50:00.705 – 00:50:10.885] And my, uh, my brother's wife, who's also on here now, um, and my, and my sister, uh, me and my brother and my sister were allowed to go down to Florida.

51:04

[00 50:10.885 – 00:50:14.004] Um, as it turns out, he was in a coma.

51:07

[00 50:14.004 – 00:50:22.005] Uh, it was his ninth time that he was a- admitted into the hospital with heart failure, and, uh, this time he, he actually died.

51:15

[00 50:22.005 – 00:50:24.065] But we, we went down on a Friday night.

51:18

[00 50:24.065 – 00:50:25.765] He died on a Sunday afternoon.

51:20

[00 50:25.765 – 00:50:36.085] And, um, my father and my mother lived, they had a house, and then he had a double wide trailer in a tr- in a trailer park

51:29

[00 50:36.085 – 00:50:39.505] with a shed outside with a washer and dryer in.

51:32

[00 50:39.505 – 00:50:42.145] And, uh, I ha- I had to do wash, you know?

51:36

[00 50:42.145 – 00:50:44.345] Uh, we brought clothes down, but we only brought so much.

51:39

[00 50:44.345 – 00:50:46.345] And anyway, so I go outside to the...

51:42

[00 50:46.345 – 00:50:47.605] And my father never did wash.

51:44

[00 50:47.605 – 00:50:51.275] He was in a coma, basically, in the hospital, but he never did wash even if he wasn't.

51:50

[00 50:51.275 – 00:51:01.465] And, uh, I went outside to this little shed type thing to do wash, and on top of the dryer was an AA coin

51:58

[00 51:01.465 – 00:51:02.385] medallion.

51:58

[00 51:02.385 – 00:51:04.825] And it was a 29-year medallion.

52:01

[00 51:04.825 – 00:51:09.025] Now, I was gonna celebrate 29 years in June.

52:03

[00 51:09.025 – 00:51:12.985] My father had 34 years at that point in time.

52:06

[00 51:12.985 – 00:51:18.365] How that c- coin got there, I have no idea, but that's, that was that.

52:11

[00 51:18.365 – 00:51:21.245] Um- Wow ...

52:12

[00 51:21.245 – 00:51:24.275] it was, you know, a stirring time .

52:15

[00 51:24.275 – 00:51:25.045] It was just, uh...

52:16

[00 51:25.045 – 00:51:33.925] I could, I could talk about it now, uh, without tearing up, you know, but, uh, it took me a long time to get to that point.

52:25

[00 51:33.925 – 00:51:37.325] And that's a, you know, that's one of the highlights of my sobriety.

52:29

[00 51:37.325 – 00:51:38.825] You know?

52:30

[00 51:38.825 – 00:51:39.615] It...

52:31

[00 51:39.615 – 00:51:47.145] You know, I, I'm not a big God person, but, uh, they told me it's a God wink, and I believe that.

52:38

[00 51:47.145 – 00:51:48.005] Yeah.

52:38

[00 51:48.005 – 00:51:50.015] So.

52:39

[00 51:50.015 – 00:51:52.475] Scotty, would you like to come in and ask Ed a question?

52:43

[00 51:52.475 – 00:51:53.675] Sure.

52:44

[00 51:53.675 – 00:52:06.165] Scotty, I'm an alcoholic, and, um, you know, having, having the time that you have, one

52:49

[00 52:06.165 – 00:52:16.165] of the things that I always hear you say, that, uh, Alcoholics Anonymous is not about dying, so it's about living.

52:55

[00 52:16.165 – 00:52:18.325] So what...

52:56

[00 52:18.325 – 00:52:23.045] Where'd that come from?

52:58

[00 52:23.045 – 00:52:25.745] Y- you were breaking up to me.

53:00

[00 52:25.745 – 00:52:27.265] I think it might've been something with the computer.

53:03

[00 52:27.265 – 00:52:29.055] I think what- The computer ...

53:05

[00 52:29.055 – 00:52:36.985] I think what I heard him say was that you, you often say that AA is about living, not about dying.

53:12

[00 52:36.985 – 00:52:37.675] Right.

53:13

[00 52:37.675 – 00:52:39.665] And where did you get that from?

53:15

[00 52:39.665 – 00:52:40.815] How did that come about?

53:17

[00 52:40.815 – 00:52:45.565] It just p- it popped into my head one day , to be perfectly honest.

53:22

[00 52:45.565 – 00:52:51.865] That's one of the few things, you know, you know, like people say, "Oh, well, he died sober." That's not the, that's not the goal.

53:29

[00 52:51.865 – 00:52:54.085] The goal is to live sober.

53:32

[00 52:54.085 – 00:52:55.085] Mm.

53:32

[00 52:55.085 – 00:52:59.245] And then, you know, uh, and, and I, I say that a lot.

53:37

[00 52:59.245 – 00:53:02.345] Uh, I, you know, I don't know where it came from.

53:40

[00 53:02.345 – 00:53:06.945] One day, you know, I was at a meeting and they said, "Well, at least he died sober." I said, "That's not the goal.

53:48

[00 53:06.945 – 00:53:11.745] That's not the goal." The goal is to live sober, you know?

53:52

[00 53:11.745 – 00:53:14.975] And you're gonna, you know, if you live sober, you're gonna die sober, but that's not the goal.

53:58

[00 53:14.975 – 00:53:16.015] Mm.

53:58

[00 53:16.015 – 00:53:17.765] The goal is to live sober and not...

54:01

[00 53:17.765 – 00:53:20.425] To my way of looking at things.

54:04

[00 53:20.425 – 00:53:21.965] So yeah, that's, that's where that came from.

54:06

[00 53:21.965 – 00:53:23.525] My head.

54:07

[00 53:23.525 – 00:53:23.945] I don't know.

54:08

[00 53:23.945 – 00:53:25.645] I just woke up with that one day.

54:11

[00 53:25.645 – 00:53:30.435] Paul, can you unmute- People, people think you- ...

54:14

[00 53:30.435 – 00:53:34.405] come in and- People think you have a lot of knowledge once you're sober a long time, and you...

54:20

[00 53:34.405 – 00:53:36.265] Oh, it's all experiential.

54:22

[00 53:36.265 – 00:53:37.925] It's all somebody else.

54:23

[00 53:37.925 – 00:53:38.545] You know?

54:24

[00 53:38.545 – 00:53:39.125] I learned- Yeah ...

54:25

[00 53:39.125 – 00:53:39.985] from everybody else.

54:26

[00 53:39.985 – 00:53:41.385] Yeah, it is.

54:28

[00 53:41.385 – 00:53:42.265] Yeah, it is.

54:29

[00 53:42.265 – 00:53:44.825] Paul, do you have a question for Ed?

54:32

[00 53:44.825 – 00:53:45.405] Yeah.

54:32

[00 53:45.405 – 00:53:47.865] Okay.

54:33

[00 53:47.865 – 00:53:49.825] Um, hi, everybody.

54:34

[00 53:49.825 – 00:53:50.705] My name's Paul.

54:35

[00 53:50.705 – 00:53:55.205] I'm a grateful alcoholic, and, uh, so nice to be on this tonight.

54:40

[00 53:55.205 – 00:53:57.545] Ed, thank you for your share tonight.

54:42

[00 53:57.545 – 00:54:07.565] And, uh, um, my since my story and my progression, I guess in, you

54:47

[00 54:07.565 – 00:54:13.485] know, in sobriety in AA, we have a lot in common, you know, the way we approached AA.

54:53

[00 54:13.485 – 00:54:23.005] So I, I can't really dig out a probing question to ask you because, uh, in many ways I'm so much like you in that respect.

55:01

[00 54:23.005 – 00:54:25.105] You know, what you did do, what you didn't do.

55:04

[00 54:25.105 – 00:54:35.385] So my question would be, you mentioned Freeport Hospital tonight, going to meetings there, helping alcoholics there, and I also went to Freeport Hospital,

55:12

[00 54:35.385 – 00:54:43.085] and I remember a ramp that you had to go down to get to the basement on Sunday afternoons in that hospital.

55:19

[00 54:43.085 – 00:54:50.765] And if you happened to be around six feet or even close to six feet, or over six feet of course, you would bang your head.

55:27

[00 54:50.765 – 00:54:59.665] So my deep probing question tonight is how many times did you bang your head going into that detox meeting on Sunday afternoon?

55:35

[00 54:59.665 – 00:55:00.645] You got three seconds.

55:36

[00 55:02.177 – 00:55:02.517] Never.

55:37

[00 55:02.517 – 00:55:04.997] The, the answer is never, because- Never, okay.

55:39

[00 55:04.997 – 00:55:05.817] Never.

55:40

[00 55:05.817 – 00:55:06.937] Be- and I'll tell you why.

55:42

[00 55:06.937 – 00:55:10.176] Because I dated a lot of nurses in Freeport Hospital.

55:46

[00 55:10.176 – 00:55:18.417] And I could go through the upstairs wards and go down the stairs in the back out of the, out of the...

55:53

[00 55:18.417 – 00:55:21.197] You know, that bec- it became a regular detox, you know?

55:56

[00 55:21.197 – 00:55:22.857] So, the nurses...

55:58

[00 55:22.857 – 00:55:30.517] You know, I would go to the nurses station and, and talk to one of the nurses or whatever, and, and go downstairs, you know, through the hospital.

56:06

[00 55:30.517 – 00:55:32.077] I never had to go down a ramp.

56:09

[00 55:32.077 – 00:55:34.117] I know what a ramp was, but I never had to go down it.

56:14

[00 55:34.117 – 00:55:41.217] Leo, would you like to come in and ask Ed a question?

56:18

[00 55:41.217 – 00:55:42.017] Yes.

56:18

[00 55:42.017 – 00:55:43.137] Thank you, Penny.

56:20

[00 55:43.137 – 00:55:45.397] My name is Leo, and I'm an alcoholic.

56:22

[00 55:45.397 – 00:55:50.217] I'm Irish, but I'm living in Melbourne, Australia, and I just dialed in here.

56:27

[00 55:50.217 – 00:55:55.197] It's morning time, uh, because I know Penny through a morning meeting we do here.

56:32

[00 55:55.197 – 00:55:57.737] But, uh, thank you for sharing, Ed.

56:34

[00 55:57.737 – 00:56:03.697] I had a quick question, only because my internet seemed to drop out for a couple of seconds.

56:40

[00 56:03.697 – 00:56:13.797] Can you repeat, if you did say it before, how exactly did you do the steps before you used the big book, please?

56:47

[00 56:13.797 – 00:56:14.197] Thank you.

56:48

[00 56:14.197 – 00:56:14.667] The people.

56:49

[00 56:14.667 – 00:56:17.717] Basically, basically I, I used them, I, I did them through people.

56:53

[00 56:17.717 – 00:56:22.077] You know, like, the 13th, the 13th step, the, I didn't do that step.

56:58

[00 56:22.077 – 00:56:23.677] Actually, I shouldn't say that.

57:00

[00 56:23.677 – 00:56:33.737] Anyway, the steps, the fourth step I did with a, with a counselor because my s- my third marriage was breaking up, and I went to a counselor

57:09

[00 56:33.737 – 00:56:37.417] to try to save the marriage, uh, who happened to be in Al-Anon.

57:13

[00 56:37.417 – 00:56:45.467] And, uh, she said, you know, she excused my wife and she said to me, "You know, this isn't working.

57:19

[00 56:45.467 – 00:56:56.297] This isn't gonna work." She says, "I think I should see you by yourself." So I said, "All right." In the course of, of doing things, um, I

57:28

[00 56:56.297 – 00:57:02.717] did the, the fourth step with her, uh, whose f- whose husband was somebody I knew in the program.

57:34

[00 57:02.717 – 00:57:07.297] But yeah, I, I learned the, the steps from talking to guys, you know?

57:39

[00 57:07.297 – 00:57:11.017] You know, uh, we all did it the same way.

57:42

[00 57:11.017 – 00:57:15.517] It wasn't, we didn't sit down and say, "Well, w- now we're gonna do step two." No, we didn't do that.

57:49

[00 57:15.517 – 00:57:18.357] We'd go to step meetings after a while.

57:52

[00 57:18.357 – 00:57:20.297] We'd talk about things.

57:53

[00 57:20.297 – 00:57:23.477] Uh, but, you know, people talk about the things I say.

57:57

[00 57:23.477 – 00:57:32.597] One of the things I say is, "Nobody in there is a mind reader." You know, if you're going through something, tell somebody, 'cause that's how you get through it.

58:07

[00 57:32.597 – 00:57:33.457] You know?

58:07

[00 57:33.457 – 00:57:39.937] There's a lot of help in AA, but only if you know what's going through it, and that's how we did with the steps, you know?

58:16

[00 57:39.937 – 00:57:49.017] By the time I got to doing the steps, most of the stuff that you talk about in the fourth and fifth s- steps, uh, making amends, that kind of stuff, we were doing it.

58:27

[00 57:49.017 – 00:57:51.617] You know, we were all doing it.

58:29

[00 57:51.617 – 00:58:00.537] We were all in situations where you're either single or, or, uh, separated, divorced or whatever, and we did, we did the programs together.

58:37

[00 58:00.537 – 00:58:04.797] Again, most of the time in dinos or in a card game.

58:41

[00 58:04.797 – 00:58:07.877] Uh, we did a lot of stuff through the fellowship.

58:44

[00 58:07.877 – 00:58:10.237] Most of, most of the stuff I did was through fellowship.

58:48

[00 58:10.237 – 00:58:20.417] As it turns out, this, the guy who's my sponsor for what, you know, was my first sponsor, Jimmy D, he does it now through the way the old-timers

58:57

[00 58:20.417 – 00:58:21.837] did it, you know, in four sessions.

59:00

[00 58:21.837 – 00:58:29.037] And he keeps telling me, it's funny, he keeps telling me, you know, "Why don't you come to this thing on Tuesday nights?" I said, "Jimmy, I'm comfortable the way I am.

59:10

[00 58:29.037 – 00:58:35.657] Thanks." And his partner, this guy Marty, who does it with him, says, "Listen, you're sober 55 years and it seems to be working for you.

59:18

[00 58:35.657 – 00:58:37.507] Why bother?" You know?

59:19

[00 58:37.507 – 00:58:39.497] And that's the way I am.

59:21

[00 58:39.497 – 00:58:46.557] Ed, I wanna thank you so much for coming and, um, sharing with us this evening.

59:27

[00 58:46.557 – 00:58:56.977] And before I invite everybody to unmute, even though it's an outside issue, I'm going to tell you that it's the top of the eighth and the score is tied five to five.

59:37

[00 58:56.977 – 00:59:02.997] And now I'll invite people to unmute and come in and thank Ed for his share this evening.

59:43

[00 59:02.997 – 00:59:03.907] Thank you, Ed.

59:44

[00 59:03.907 – 00:59:04.937] Thank you so much, Ed.

59:46

[00 59:04.937 – 00:59:05.227] Thanks, Ed.

59:47

[00 59:05.227 – 00:59:05.417] Thank you.

59:48

[00 59:05.417 – 00:59:06.597] Thanks, Ed.

59:49

[00 59:06.597 – 00:59:08.237] Thank you, Ed.

59:50

[00 59:08.237 – 00:59:10.217] Ed, thank you.

59:51

[00 59:10.217 – 00:59:11.137] Thank you, Eddie.

59:52

[00 59:11.137 – 00:59:12.017] Thank you, Eddie.

59:54

[00 59:12.017 – 00:59:12.427] Thanks, Mike.

59:54

[00 59:12.427 – 00:59:13.157] Thanks for leading the way.

59:56

[00 59:13.157 – 00:59:14.317] Thanks, Mike.

59:57

[00 59:14.317 – 00:59:14.727] Thanks, Mike.

59:58

[00 59:14.727 – 00:59:15.537] Thank you, Ed.

59:59

[00 59:15.537 – 00:59:16.317] Mike, good job.

60:01

[00 59:16.317 – 00:59:16.897] Whatever.

60:01

[00 59:16.897 – 00:59:17.917] Hey, Eddie.

60:02

[00 59:17.917 – 00:59:22.596] Ed, my daughter is, uh, in Al-Anon 40 years now.

60:05

[00 59:22.596 – 00:59:23.087] Wow.

60:06

[00 59:23.087 – 00:59:26.497] And her grand sponsor is Jimmy O'Neal.

60:08

[00 59:26.497 – 00:59:28.017] Jimmy O'Neal.

60:09

[00 59:28.017 – 00:59:28.877] Yes, I know Jimmy O'Neal.

60:11

[00 59:28.877 – 00:59:29.457] Yes.

60:12

[00 59:29.457 – 00:59:31.117] Can you imagine?

60:13

[00 59:31.117 – 00:59:33.477] I, I, I met Lois at an Al-Anon group anniversary.

60:16

[00 59:33.477 – 00:59:35.237] No kidding.

60:17

[00 59:35.237 – 00:59:36.317] Yeah, in Manhattan.

60:18

[00 59:36.317 – 00:59:36.837] Yes.

60:19

[00 59:36.837 – 00:59:37.607] Many, many years ago.

60:21

[00 59:37.607 – 00:59:41.277] Jimmy's, Jimmy's aunt- Oh, see, we should have had you talk about that.

60:25

[00 59:41.277 – 00:59:44.317] Jimmy's aunt was, uh- Thank you so much, everyone, for being here.

60:29

[00 59:44.317 – 00:59:45.117] He's gotta come back.

60:30

[00 59:45.117 – 00:59:47.617] Yeah, Jimmy's aunt was- Gotta come back.

60:33

[00 59:47.617 – 00:59:55.017] I wanna thank everyone for being here this evening, and we do do this on the last Tuesday of each month.

60:40

[00 59:55.017 – 01:00:00.917] And, um, our Longtimer, uh, next month, is scheduled to be Pat Y.

60:44

[01 00:00.917 – 01:00:03.717] from, um, Southern California.

60:45

[01 00:03.717 – 01:00:12.637] And, um, I, um, I welcome you all back on the last Tuesday of September.

60:50

[01 00:12.637 – 01:00:15.897] And Ed, thank you again for being here.

60:53

[01 00:15.897 – 01:00:26.397] And, um, there is information in the chat on where to listen to, all of the conversations with Longtimer have been recorded,

61:00

[01 00:26.397 – 01:00:30.737] and there is a link in the chat on how to take you right to those recordings.

61:06

[01 00:40.587 – 01:00:47.577] So, uh, there's lots of information there to, uh, to take down and to, uh, to make available to you.

61:12

[01 00:47.577 – 01:00:49.377] So thank you so much for being here.

61:15

[01 00:49.377 – 01:00:59.657] And, um, if y'all want to unmute, and uh, Ed, if you want to lead us out in the, um, serenity prayer.

61:22

[01 00:59.657 – 01:01:09.787] A minute moment of silence for those sick and s- still suffering, uh,

61:26

[01 01:09.787 – 01:01:10.777] followed by the serenity prayer.

61:28

[01 01:10.777 – 01:01:21.097] God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can,

61:34

[01 01:21.097 – 01:01:22.917] and wisdom to know the difference.

61:36

[01 01:22.917 – 01:01:32.937] And if any of you know of a Longtimer with 50 or more years, please feel free to reach out to me, either in

61:44

[01 01:32.937 – 01:01:39.327] the chat or through, um, Recovery Speakers, and, um, 'cause I'm always looking for...

61:48

[01 01:39.327 – 01:01:41.417] We've got, there were what?

61:50

[01 01:41.417 – 01:01:46.317] Over 200 with 50 or more at Vancouver this year.

61:53

[01 01:46.317 – 01:01:52.017] So, um, there's lots of us out, lots of Longtimers out there that we can be talking to.

61:59

[01 01:52.017 – 01:01:53.107] So tha-

The following is an AI-generated transcript. Minor errors may occur. The audio is the authoritative source.

Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C presented by Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C – 2025-08-26

Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C presented by Conversation with a longtimer with Ed C – 2025-08-26

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