Thank you. My name is JD Thompson. I’m a grateful alcoholic. Hi, JD.

Only by the grace of our merciful, loving God, my own understandings, and people like you that understands me, I haven’t had a drink today, and I’m very eternally grateful. I’m as soul as grateful to be anywhere sober. First off, I want to thank the committee. They got a beautiful movement here, and they’re doing a beautiful job because I come in early like they– she said, and, uh, it’s just beautiful.

You know, Murph and I was in Maui a couple of months ago. Maui Roundup wasn’t any prettier than this. This is just beautiful. And the people here are so beautiful and good.

And the committee w-works hard. I’ve noticed stuff like that, and they, they really do their job. Like, uh, Renee and Jeanette, we, uh, got along real good, and they’re doing their homework, and we haven’t wanted for nothing.

I’m real proud of them. They are really good, and I appreciate that. Well- Thank you. Supposed to share a little bit of what I was like and what h-happened and why I’m like today.

And, you know, I was– I’m from a abusive Al-Anon, you know. I want to get that behind me. Abusive Al-Anon. Anyway, I’m from a, a little farm up around McCrory, Arkansas, and, uh, my father was a

farmer. Only he was a sharecropper farmer, and that means he– we were very, very poor, and we owed our souls to the mercantile store because we, uh, was coming right out of a depression in nineteen thirty-six when I was born. And, uh, you know, when you’re as poor as we was, e- I think we was in the depression all the time, you know.

But anyway, I’ll go back and my s-sponsor always said to me to say– tell my sobriety, and my sobriety date was January the s- sixth, nineteen seventy-seven, and I’m eternally grateful. Anyway, I was, uh, a little kid growing up and, uh, on this farm, and, uh, my dad was a workaholic, and he made sure he worked his boys.

And I’m a, a son of four boys, next to the oldest. And, uh, we had our chores to do, and we had to work hard. And there’s a lot of things my dad did. They were good parents.

They wouldn’t cause me a drinking, I know that. But a lot of things he did, he, he taught me some good things, but he taught me some bad things. I, I said to myself and promised to God when I was little, I’d never whip my children when they’re mad because my dad whipped me and my older brother pretty hard that we’ve had to miss school on account of when he whipped us.

And, uh, you know, he, uh, picked his own switch. That was sad about it. He, he’s a big man, and he’d just pull a little tree up wherever it was and- … whip my oldest bud with the root ends.

And time he got to me, it wasn’t no dirt around those roots, and I got the bare, bare thing. But I loved him, and he was good to me. He’s one of those type that, uh, if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. And, you know, we weren’t spoiled.

Uh, and- Anyway, they were good parents, the best they could be, I’m sure, thinking back to it. But, uh, anyway, uh, I, uh, went through school, grade school, and then I went through high, uh, go– got to the ninth grade. And when I got to the ninth grade, there was a lot of other things important to me than farm work, and I was wanting to get away from that farm.

And I, I quit schooling, but I went to, uh, got into the National Guard. And I wasn’t heavy enough because, see, I didn’t weigh a hundred pounds till I got twenty-one year old. And, uh, I was running and fished and run around with a kid, and his father was a, a captain in the National Guard, Arkansas National Guard.

And so I had a little pull there, and I wanted to get in the guards, but I wasn’t heavy enough. And he told me to eat plenty of bananas and, and come show up. And so I did that and naturally put the foot on the scales and made it right. And, and the reason I wanted in the guard so bad is if you stay in there a year, you could go to the school of your choice.

And I don’t know, I chose welding, and that’s where I started welding. And, and, and I, I’ve been welding ever since, and I still welding today. I’ve, uh, that’s my profession, and I welded, uh, for, uh, started welding when I was eighteen. And, uh, I weld, uh, ha- I’ve been to seven welding schools, different kinds, and I’ve–

and I’m a welder today, and I’m, and it’s, and I’m just, uh, real grateful for it because I enjoy it. It’s not a healthy thing, but I enjoy doing it. Anyway, my dad was a real bad guy about, uh, uh, nicknames.

He nicknamed everything on the farm. He nicknamed the cows, the chi– everybody, the tractor and everything. And he nicknamed me, and he called me Nubbin. And one time I asked him, I said, “Dad, wh-why you call me Nubbin?” He said, “Well, you remind me of a…” And I said, “What is a nubbin?” He

said, “Well, son, that’s a ear of corn that didn’t quality develop.” I said, “Wow. Boy, that’s really something to live up to.” Only thing, through life, that was just the beginning because you take a little guy, gets a lot of them, them nicknames. Some of them are pretty and some of them are not.

But I lived with it. Anyway, uh, I, um, I, I moved on a-a-and I went to, after I got in there a year, I went to welding school. When I come out, I, I, I married my neighbor, uh, uh, daughter.

And, uh, and my oldest bud and I married sisters. But I, me and my oldest bud never did get along because I was jealous of him. He wanted to be the s– he is a son, and I always wanted to be the son junior, and that was just the way it was. And we fought a lot.

And I overheard my mom tell my dad one time, said, uh, uh, “Mr. Clint, you, you whoop them boys too hard.” He said, “They’re not normal. They fight all the time, you know?” And, uh, so, you know, my dad and my mom, I wasn’t from a broken home, so I can’t lay that on alcoholism. Uh, my mom and dad really respected each other, and I really never saw them fight.

And, I mean, they might have had loud voices in the bedroom, but, uh, they never f-fought and fussed in front of my, uh, front of us. And, uh, she called him Mr. Clint, and he called her Miss Virgie, and that was the way it was on up until they died. And they– It was real neat.

And he taught me some things, me and my brothers, some things back in, uh, in our years that, that I thought were good until I met Mary Pearl. He taught us you never hit a woman. So you never hit on women.

Said, uh, “Anybody can whip a woman.” My mom was little, and he, he never did hit on her. But, you know, today, I think he should have said, “Except you, little Jimmy.” Because he did not know Mary Pearl. But anyway, I went on through there and I, I, like I got married and, um, uh-uh, her– she was from a broken home.

And her mother come to see, to Little Rock to see her, and we went to visit them. And her husband told me, he said, “JD, where you work at?” And I said, “I’m working at a Hall tank company. I’m a welder.” He said, “Well, if you’ll come out to Arizona, you can get paid for that welding, and I’ll get you an apprentice plumbing in, uh, in the union, and you can be apprentice plumber.” And I said, “Okay.” And so we saved our coins and moved to Phoenix, Arizona.

And, and, uh, and we got out there, and I, uh, got me a welding job right off. My wife got her a, a job at the phone company and was a supervisor. And I become a welder. And then we sat down and had coffee in the mornings because she was a soft– She was my high school sweetheart, and she was a soft-spoken girl, uh, easygoing.

And we planned our life out. We said, “Now, uh…” We had two children, a boy and a girl, and they were hap-ha-happy and, and healthy. And I said, “You know, that’s about, about what a welder could send to college.” And said, “We’ll, we’ll stop there, and we’ll, we’ll work hard and, and retire at forty-one.” And boy, that was a good deal.

And so that’s what I did. I got me– I worked two jobs, job and a half, two jobs, and I worked hard. And all of a sudden, it’s kind of like I had bad breath. Come in from work one night.

She said, “I got to talk to you after you get out of the shower.” I said, “Okay.” And so I got out of the shower, and we went out away from the kids on the back patio, and she said, “I’ve been seeing a man for a year, and he– and I fell in love with him. And I want, uh, a divorce, and I want a quiet one. You just move out.

I want a divorce. I don’t want to be married to you no more.” Said, “I want a man that, uh, has got a suit on and got, you know, a little education and just not come in dirty all the time.” I said… It kinda hit me for a wallop at first because that ended my world because we had a lot of plans.

And, you know, it, uh, it– A lot of people would have, uh, accepted that and went on, but not me. Uh, I just crawled in a bottle. I-I just couldn’t, couldn’t handle it because I had– I knew I was losing, losing it.

And, you know, it was the doctor told me one time, he said… I was doing some welding for him. He was building a ho- a bo- a bowling alley. And he’s– I was welding for him, and he, he come up behind me one time.

I didn’t see him. I was welding, and when I quit, I was crying. And he says, “Thompson, what’s the matter with you?” And I said, “Well, I, I think I’m– my f- my family’s splitting up, Doc.” I said, uh, “My wife wants me to move out.

She wants a divorce.” And I believe what he told me. He said, “Thompson, you never did have her to begin with or you wouldn’t have lost her.” And he says, “Another thing, a woman can take everything you got except the shirt on your back. But what you got up your head, she can’t take.

And so re- you remember that. That’s something that no one can take from you.” And, you know, I believed that for years and years. I believed that. And, um, I, uh-

Started drinking heavy. And I got to bothering this guy that was seeing my wife. I really got to bothering him heavy. And you know, I, I, it, it, it was sad because in the mornings when I wake up, I would feel sorry and was sad

’cause the things I’d done to him. But then I’d get to drinking, I said, “I’m gonna kill him this time.” Anyway, he was a, a beauty operator. I mean, a beautician. He’d fix women’s hair.

Oh, gosh. And, uh, I’d get drunk and go in his shop and threatening him, and he’d back up and, boy, you know, I’d give this little guy… Oh, boy, I’m big. I’m gonna whoop up on him.

Well, I’d pick it out on his little sports car and all that. I got to following him. He called me the crazy man. And one time I, I followed him and all I had was my old welding truck, an old ton truck with a welder on the back of it and all my equipment.

And, uh, look, God must have been with me. He parked that little doodlebug by a light pole. And they walked in. He went around and opened the door.

I kind of parked in and out where he couldn’t see me. They couldn’t see me. I was watching it. He got around, opened the door, and they went in that place.

I went out there with my old welding truck, and I set up my shields like I was doing a city job. Nobody paid no attention. I got a log chain, and I went around this to- this pole, and I hooked it around his axle, and I welded it. And then I took, I took all my stuff up, and I went, got in the shadows and just sat there and drank

down my bottle and watched this. People, it was funny. It was funny. Oh, he come and opened the door for me, uh, for her, and got her in.

He went around, a little prissy thing, and got in that- -little sports car, a Fiat. And then, boy, he put it in reverse, and it threw him up against the windshield, and they got out. Throwing their hands up and down like that. They didn’t know what was going on.

He got down on his knees, looking up under his car. They called a cab and left. That car sat there for about four days. I guess he finally got someone to cut it a- loose, but I kept track of it.

And I worried that man so bad. And, uh, I was getting in a lot of trouble with this guy. And I know my old welding, my old welding truck, uh, uh, couldn’t keep up with him, and so I went and bought me a MGA. And this, uh, some kid had owned it.

It was a used one. And he souped it up a little bit, and it’s pretty fast. And I could keep up with him now. You know, it was sad.

If I’d go back to Phoenix today to make amends to that guy, he would run. And I’m so sorry. I’ve got to do that. I’ve got to do that.

The crazy man has got to go back and do it. But anyway, I would come up by him, beside of him at an intersection a- a- and hold a gun out where he could see it, and he’d run a red light. One time he actually got hit. And, uh, I found out later that, uh, my ex-wife was making payments, helping him make payments

on a new beauty shop he, uh, uh, uh, uh, he, uh, was building. And I thought… Went o- went by there one night, and there was her Impala and his car. It was dark.

All the lights was out. And I went and got rocks, and I broke every window in that place. But you know, they never called the law because they knew who it was, the crazy man. Well, I kept getting in a lot of trouble.

And the law told me, he said, “You gotta, you gotta quit messing with him. If he, i- if something ever happens to that guy, we’re coming after you.” And so I, I ran into a guy in Phoenix that, uh, he saw my welding equipment out front. I was at this bar, and he come in there, and he told me, he said, uh, “Who owns that…” Asking around there, “Who owns that welding rig out there?” And some guy pointed to me, and he come over

and said, “You own that rig outside?” And I said, “Yes, sir, I do.” He said– And I said, “It’s not for sale.” He said, “I don’t want to buy it. I want to hire you and hit.” He said, uh, “I, I, I got a little steel shop out here that we take over at nights, and, uh, we could weld dumpsters for the Mesa and Tempe, Arizona.” Said it was just the beginning when they come popular, and he said we can make a lot of money. And I said, “That sounds good.” So I went to work for him.

And we, we did make a lot of money. We dranked a lot. He was, dranked heavy, and he had a place over there. He owned a couple of bars, and then he owned some apartments.

He give, set me up an apartment. And, but I got to getting away from him on weekends and getting in trouble. If I just stay there, we’d work, work, and then we’d go have a six-pack at, at lunch. And then, then, boy, we’d…

That’s all I did is drink and work. And we did make a lot of money. But I kept getting in trouble. And so my dad was sick, and I figured I better come to Little Rock and see him.

But I said, “Someday I’m gonna go to California. I’ll go see him, and then I’ll go to California and work the shipyards.” I always wanted to work on a, a ship that goes out, but I was always married. It stays out for so many days and comes in for so many days. And that’s the kind of job I wanted since I’m single now.

And I, I’ll just move to Arkansas, and I see my dad, and then I’ll come back. Well, my dad got worse and he died a little at a time. It, it was real sad. In the meanwhile, while I was there sitting up with him, my little brother introduced me to a lady, and that was Mary

Pearl. But before I got met to her, I want– My mom kept telling me, she said she couldn’t believe when I come to Little Rock how bad I got. I was alcoholic, drinking, drinking heavy. My, my mouth was filthy.

I wouldn’t fit and be around people. And, uh, I lived in bars. And I’d come by there and one time she huddled… She kept some little children, and she would huddle them in the back room and then– ’cause she– I wouldn’t fit in to be around little children the way my talk got.

And, and she told me, she said, “Son, quit coming around till you clean up and sober.” And I, it hurt my feelings ’cause I figured she didn’t want me to come around to my home. Anyway, I tried a lot of controlled drinking and, uh, I come home one, one weekend to see my folks, and my little brother saw me and he said, uh, “JD, there’s a lady I want you to meet.” He said, “She’s on our ball team.” He

said, “She’s having a birthday coming up, and I’d like for you to meet her since you’re single and she’s single.” Well, he carried me over there. Man, that was a weird woman. She cut all the grass outside and put it on the floors. It’s just sawdust.

It’s grass. Painted all the walls black, psychedelic lights. Had– She had long black hair hung down, parted in the middle, kind of like Janis Joplin’s. Had that…

Not my kind of music because I’m a country and western person. I just kind of walked through the house and looked around. I told my little brother, I said, “Hell, she’s too damn weird, little brother. I’m out of here.” And I went and did my thing.

I just got drunk like I always do. I used to get mad at my dad when I come in on Friday and clean up. Well, he’d say, “Why don’t you take your check on down, son, and give it to Judge Reed Williams? He’s gonna get it anyway.” I said, “Man, man, you’re crazy.” Sure enough, he’d end up with my-

Check. Well, Mary Pearl was sick after that. My little brother kept bumming cigarettes off her, so she called him and said, “Bring me some cigarettes.” So I said, “I’ll ride along.” Well, she cleaned the house up, and it looked different, and she looked different.

And she had on some country and western music. I don’t know where she found out I liked that kind of knot, but she had on country and western music and fixed me some booze. Said, “Man, she’s not bad.” And so we started dating. You know, we dated for quite a while.

And, uh, we, uh, made a hit. You know, I, I always wanted a woman with a little spunk, but damn, I think I overshot the runway. You know, I’ve got a lot of dentists scattered over this town. And she’s part of it.

A lot of these teeth I swallowed, but I, I have a lot of them I’ve lost in bars. But, uh, Mary Pearl and I did our share of violence. And I, I deserved every lick I got because I wasn’t… I was sorry.

Anyway, uh, uh, Mary Pearl and I got married. And, uh, I was living with my mom. Boy, she was tickled to death. And Mary Pearl didn’t have any idea she, uh, uh, s- that I was as bad as I was, ’cause I was trying to do some con- controlled drinking.

Periodic drunks and this and that. But anyway, she, uh, was always there for me, and I, I appreciated what she did for me. And I really… But I, I got to getting away.

I got to running off a lot. You know, I said, “Well, I’m gonna go get a cup of coffee.” And I got her so sick, I stayed three or four days and come back and tell her I just left, and she didn’t believe me, you know. But, uh, just a lot of violence went on in our home. And, you know, um, she, uh, uh, kicked me out every once in a while.

You know, when you’re homeless, that’s bad. And, but I never was afoot unless I lose my car. And you know, I’m not a, a smart drunk. Because most drunks, they can always sleep in their automobile.

I had a, a MG Midget. You can’t sleep in it, you can’t sleep on it, and I couldn’t get under it. And what I would do is lay down by it kinda like a dog and sleep. I remember one time I passed out at a beer joint behind it.

And I woke up the next morning, sun was shining in my eyes. My door was open. I tried to get in my car, but evidently I passed out. Hell, it’s a new day.

I could hear the jukebox going. So I just went inside. I figured I’d, I’d, I’d wash my face a little bit. I went in there, washed my face, looked in the mirror, and screamed.

My gosh, I felt bumps all in my m- mouth. They mosquitoes must have lived on me all night. Even inside my mouth was, had bumps, like little line bumps. And I coughed up in black specks for a while.

And you know, ev- I said to myself, “Them was one bunch of drunk mosquitoes.” But I got to losing that little car. I finally got my aerial and put a Razorback hog thing on it. But I’d still lose it.

And I learned from a early, early, early part to never call the law that I, somebody stole my car because they would find it and, and impound it, and me too, so I’d just keep my mouth shut. And some days it would be gone for a couple of days. I didn’t know where I put it.

And you know, when I’d find it, I was wondering what I was thinking of. ‘Cause there was one guy coming up… I was, I was stopped my little car for a couple of days, and this guy in a bar said, “JD, how come your car in this old vacant lot over there?” You know, they tore the house down, just left this garage. I don’t know why, but I put my car in it.

Couple blocks from a beer joint, you know, around the corner. And I got to wonder why. But it was okay, because I kept losing my keys so much that I had a s- a button switch on it he had. Only me knew.

And so there it was, just like finding a new car. Boy, I was happy. Got wheels again. But you know, you know, skillets was falling.

I, I was, uh, having a lot of trouble. Mary Pearl said, “You need to go to a doctor, JD.” I said, “Well, uh, uh, Mary Pearl, I don’t mean to be like I am. I don’t mean to.” But I said, “I just do it, you know.” She said, “Well,” she said, “you need to go to the doctor.” So that’s when I went to the doctor. He gave me some Antabuse.

And I quit taking them because this old man that works with me took them and they had to take him to hospital. ‘Cause he took them while he was drinking. Now, I, I certainly didn’t want that to happen. Because I had some pretty good buddies over there.

I remember one, he’s dead now, but we used to have a, drink our first drink together, and he’d always give me some, some, uh, words of wisdom. He’d say, “Thompson,” he’d say, “it could be better out there.” I said, “Yes, sir.” But he said, “It could be a hell of a lot worse.” He said… I said, “I’ll drink to that.” He said, “I will too.” And we’d have our drink. First of the day.

But anyway, uh, I, I took, uh, I quit taking them Antabuse after Mary Pearl took me to the doctor. And, uh, with, within a year I was on Antabuse, and that was the most pitiful year. Horrible year. I learned to hate Everything Mary Pearl looked and said, I, I hated it.

I, I learned what hate really was. I hated everything. Uh, every morning I’d dread to have… It was just a bad day.

And, uh, finally, uh, I had my last drunk after I’d say a year, and, uh, I walked through a picket line, uh, before that and, uh, and I, I got a job and, and it was a alcohol’s paradise. They was on strike, and they were needing welders de-desperately. And when I staggered in, I was drunk when I hired in.

That guy said, “Oh, you, it’s okay to drink. I drink.” I knew he didn’t drink like I did. He said, “Just show up every day, JD. We need you bad.

Just show up every day, and we’ll have people out there with a picket line so they won’t hurt you when you come in.” I said, “Oh, they ain’t gonna hurt me. I don’t care.” See, I, I used to work for a union, but I’d lost all respect for everything, myself and anybody around me. And I went to work there, and, and you could put a bottle down just like a pack of cigarettes and… And I tell you, it, it was sad.

I know, uh, we had a hole in a fence, and we’d let… Not far from where I worked in a bridge department. And I worked in steel mills all my life. And we worked hard, but we played hard.

And, uh, I’d go over to pay my bill at this liquor store sometimes, and I wouldn’t get nothing but just a few bits of change because we’d take turns of going out and buying, taking all this and that. They split us up trying to help put me over in another little machine shop that the company owned, Arkansas Foundry, uh, with about two or three preachers.

Oh, gosh, that was sad. It was that place that, “Maybe you’ll get better.” And you know, it didn’t. They, uh… I, I, I’d, I’d stay sober a little while, just like everything else, and I’d get drunk again.

And, and I used myself up by wherever. You know, I, I had a big resentment in this life at, at big people. I, I, I resented it. I’ve always thought I was born at the wrong time and the wrong place because I was little, and I wanted to be big.

And I’d get them little, little nicknames, like I’d be in a bar minding my own business. And, uh, this big bruiser would come in, and he’d say, “Hey, runt, pass me the salt.” I’d just quiver with hurt because, see, I had a resentment there. I would, I would drink a week over that kind of crap.

God. A-and call… People would call me Pee Wee, Half a Pint. Uh, and, and the one that…

Oh, man, it’d be, it’s sad some of the names you’d get. I was at a meeting at one time, and this… Was telling this red-headed guy that. He said, “JD, you think you, uh, you ought to be red-headed and little.” Said they always pick on- …

uh, little red-headed fella. Anyway, anyway, I, uh… Mary Pearl took me to AA meeting, uh, to a meeting one night, and w- I was scared. I, uh, the last drunk, I, I like bled to death.

I was in a… I drank too much. My body didn’t shut off, and I just drank so much. And anyway, I was so weak I couldn’t call.

And I had her to call them. I said, “Do you know AA people? I’ve got to… I’m dying.” And she said, “Well, I’ll go see.” And so she said, “I don’t know what they can do that I hadn’t already done.” I said, “I don’t know, but I want…

I need to go somewhere. I’m gonna die.” And so she took me to AA. It was, uh, talking on honesty. It was a closed meeting, but I guess crazies, we looked at letting us on in.

You know, and, uh, I… There’s a, a tall, skinny guy there shakes your hand, nearly pulls you to the ground, you know. And he said, “I’ll be your sponsor, boy.” And he’s a big old tall guy, and he’s a bachelor. You know, they used to tell you you always get somebody in common, but that ain’t right.

This old man saved my life. And, uh, kind of reminded me of Grandpa. He, uh, looked like he’d been shot with shotgun because he made them old roller, rolling cigarettes, you know. And, you know, a-a-and I, I did, I did him, and I, a-a-and when they got…

When, when he took me to Serenity House, him and Mary Pearl, I didn’t think it would work. And I saw an old c- uh, s- counselor there was humpback. Hunchback, rather. And I, I didn’t like him because, see, I used to judge people by looks, and if I didn’t like your looks, you would not get close to me.

If you didn’t drink like I did, you wouldn’t get that close to me. And I missed a lot of good people that way. And I know, uh, I went, uh, in, uh, to the Serenity House, and Mary Pearl talked to them and, uh, having an outpatient so she could let me off in the mornings, pick me up in the mor– in the evening.

And she told me, she said, uh, “JD, if you run off, don’t come home.” And I said, you know, “I knew that.” But I, I w- I was dying for something to drink, you know. I w– my, my taste buds just screaming and, a-and I wasn’t getting nothing. And I know one evening she come pick me up and tears is in her eyes.

And I said, “What’s the matter with you, Mary Pearl?” And she said, “Nothing. Don’t concern you.” I said, “What’d they do to you?” She said, “Nothing.” I was real ready to go in there and whoop ass, you know. No bigger than I was. But anyway, she said, “It does not concern you.” And I didn’t know until I got sober that they told her that they didn’t think I

was gonna make it. They said that I would, uh, they’d interview me after classes. And I didn’t even know what they were talking about. And I was just sloshing coffee and, uh, uh, worrying about ex- real important things like who’s sitting on my stool at the bar, or who’s messing with my

bar women. You know, it was crazy. It got so bad, I mean, so bad that I w- I was on leave. Even though I couldn’t go home, I was gonna live on the street.

But you know, I, I guess I, I just come that close to missing the whole thing. I started to leave without telling Mr. Arnold bye. And he was that old man that I really didn’t like, but a lot of guys followed him around at Serenity House, and he had something, I guess, that they wanted.

But always talking at you. So I said, “Well, I need to tell him bye, ’cause he’s been good to me.” And I went in there and I told him, and I was crying. I said, “Mr. Arnold, I can’t handle it no more.

I’m leaving.” He said, “JD, you told me in the beginning that you believed in a God.” I said, “I do. I believed in a God, uh, but not for me.” And this is a turning point in my life right here. He– I said, uh, “I’m gonna go to hell, Mr. Arnold, ’cause I have a getcha God.” He wanted me to explain my God to him.

Said, “What kind of God do you got?” How do you think? He– I said, “I got a, a punishing and getcha God.” And I said, “He, instead of writing a, a list up above on me, he’s got a tablet.” And he kind of laughed. He said, uh, “JD, if it was that way, then none of us have a chance.” And he said, “You know,” I told him,

I said, “I did a lot of bad things, Mr. Arnold, a lot of bad things, knowingly some of them was wrong.” And he said, “JD, God don’t approve of all those bad things you did, but he never quit loving you.” He said, “God’s love is so much different than ours.” He said, “Our love don’t even scratch the surface.

God’s love is so powerful. He always loved you, JD.” There’s something wrong, uh, just a little light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t leave that day. They interviewed me, didn’t know nothing after.

So I went home. But first, Mr. Arnold said, “You know, we have that first meeting, and I read that twenty-four hour book to you. And down there where I share my God,” he said, “why don’t you talk to God tonight and ask him to help you with your drinking?” I

said, “Mr. Arnold, I don’t know how to pray. All them was thou’s and thee’s. I do not know how to do that.” He said, “You don’t have to know.

That’s a personal thing.” He said, “Just talk to him like he are me.” So when I went home at night, I would, instead of just going through where I used to keep my booze, I was like an animal. Open them drawers, doors, and hide. And I knew there wasn’t no booze there, but it’d make me feel better.

But that night, I did not. I went out in the backyard, and I fell up under that, got under my old pecan tree and got on my knees. And I said, “God, I don’t understand this deal, Serenity House. I do not understand this program they’re talking about.

But I’m gonna have to quit drinking to get this. And help me. Please, God, help me.” I didn’t bargain with him like I always have before. I just asked him, “Please help me understand.” Well, that night there wasn’t no burning bush or lightning.

I just slept better that night. The next morning, I went back to Serenity House, and s- and when I got ready to go to that first class and all of them, it’s just like I took my face out of a muddy pan of water. Things just started clearing up.

And I think that day, I, I, I knew I didn’t ever have to drink again in my life. And I think that psychic change started in, within my life that day. Because I’d go to meetings, and they’d interview me, and, uh, I didn’t only tell them what the topic was talking on, I even told them the, the people’s name that shared.

And I remember that one counselor said, “Welcome aboard, JD.” I didn’t know what he meant. But anyway, that, that, uh, was how it begun with me, and it got better. And, and I’ll tell you, young or old, if you turn your life over to the will of God, you better hold on to something, ’cause things happen.

You know, I talked about those two children that I had, and it’s sad to say that they don’t want to have anything to do with me. And I’ve been sober for thirty years. But when I was sober a couple of years, I, I made amends and, uh, they told me to take it and put it where the sun don’t shine.

And I come home one day. You know, I’ve outlived three sponsors. This was my first sponsor, and I said, “Derwood, what did I do wrong?” And he said, “JD, you didn’t do nothing wrong.

You did it right.” But he said, “What you gotta do is accept it and go on.” And, and that’s the hardest thing I ever done. But you know, today, I know that when a door is shut, God opens a window.

And every time a window’s opened in my life, I think back to Mr. Arnold. JD, God loves you. And you know, I got one of the best sons in the whole world that’s walked the face of this earth.

He’s here today. He’s from Ontario, Canada, and he, uh, he comes to see me every holiday that he can. He either flies or drives, and we spend a lot of good time. That’s a son of choice.

I couldn’t ask for a better son than I have. And I have a daughter. See? God opens windows for me.

I have a daughter in St. A- in St. Louis, Missouri, and she spends most of the time there out at Sanibel. Out here at Sanibel, Florida.

And she don’t ever come through unless she comes to see old JD. And I’m so grateful for my kids. I think I’m gonna shut up. Anyway, Mr.

Arnold used to read me this, this little thing. It’s out of our twenty-four hour book. It’s AA approved. And I read it to him, even though he’s up there in, in that big sky in a meeting.

But I know he’s listening, and I’m gonna share it with y’all today. It says, “Look at the world as your Father’s house, and the people you meet as, as… Think of the people you meet as, as guests at your Father’s house, to be treated with love and consideration. Look at yourself as a , as a

servant in your Father’s house, a servant of all. Let there be no wor- work beneath you. Be ever, ever ready to help others who need your help.” It’s very… There’s, uh, there’s much satisfaction in service in the highest you know.

There’s a gladness in servi- serving God’s service. Express your love and service to all who are living with you in your Father’s house. Thank you.