[00:07.5 – 00:07.9] Thank you. [00:07.9 – 00:10.9] Hi, everybody. [00:10.9 – 00:13.0] My name is George, and I am an alcoholic. [00:13.0 – 00:14.4] Hi, George. [00:14.4 – 00:22.8] And, uh, we’re right on schedule because when I c- first come to Alcoholics Anonymous, uh, uh, the meetings a- around here in the Valley all started at eight thirty. [00:22.8 – 00:25.1] So we didn’t miss a beat. [00:25.1 – 00:36.2] Uh, and, uh, uh, I came to the program, uh, my sobriety date is, uh, January the 11th, uh, 1959, [00:36.2 – 00:44.3] and, uh, I, I have a fellow AA person up here, he’s got two days on me. [00:44.3 – 00:49.1] Billy, uh, was came in on, uh, January the 9th, 1959. [00:49.1 – 00:55.8] But anyway, uh, my, uh, it wasn’t my first introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:55.8 – 00:58.4] It was my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:58.4 – 01:08.5] And, uh, my wife and I were out d- doing– gonna do our regular thing, and, and, uh, she said, “Pull over the side of the road.” She said, “I [01:08.5 – 01:15.1] wanna talk to you.” And, uh, so I says, “Okay,” wondering what’s coming next, you know how these women are. [01:15.1 – 01:25.1] But anyway, uh, I pulled over the side of the road, and she says, uh, “I’ve contacted, uh, uh, this place called Ernie’s, uh, in San [01:25.1 – 01:28.5] Bernardino, and it’s connected w- with AA. [01:28.5 – 01:36.5] And, uh, he put me in touch with this gal, and, uh, uh, she’s gonna meet us Tuesday night. [01:36.5 – 01:43.7] Uh, and so I’m gonna try to get sober.” And she said, “You can come if you want,” and, uh, all right. [01:43.7 – 01:50.6] So I said, “Okay, I agree.” I, I agreed to it, and I thought, “Well, you know, this will be like the hula hoop. [01:50.6 – 01:58.3] It, it’ll go out of style in a little while, and I go on,” even though I, I had needed the program for a long time. [01:58.3 – 02:08.8] So we– this Tuesday came along, and, uh, we, uh, we went up on– it was a cold January night and, uh, down on 1813, 813 [02:08.8 – 02:10.3] D Street in San Bernardino. [02:10.3 – 02:13.8] And it was a, what they called an Ernie’s Twelve Step house. [02:13.8 – 02:19.4] And we walked up on the steps, and we were waiting for this gal who became my wife’s sponsor. [02:19.4 – 02:23.4] And, uh, we waited, and we waited, and she didn’t show up. [02:23.4 – 02:33.5] So, uh, we s– I and I thought that was a pretty good idea, so we started to go down the stairs, and, uh, the door opened, and this old man come [02:33.5 – 02:43.5] out the, out the door, and, and he, uh, uh, I turned around, and he says, uh, “If you have a problem with alcohol, come in and hang up your hat and coat, and, uh, [02:43.5 – 02:45.8] you’re at home.” And we did that. [02:45.8 – 02:48.9] And, uh, he was an old English gentleman. [02:48.9 – 02:53.8] He’d gotten sober, uh, on the Bowery in New York, and he had about sixteen years. [02:53.8 – 03:02.6] And, uh, he had soup stains on his, uh, shirt, and, uh, the place smelled like paraldehyde. [03:02.6 – 03:08.8] And, and s- there was about six or seven new guys off of Skid Row. [03:08.8 – 03:12.6] And you know what it smelled like, especially in an old house. [03:12.6 – 03:18.3] And it wasn’t, I tell you, it wasn’t, uh, the Royal York in Cana- Canada, I tell you that. [03:18.3 – 03:25.4] Uh, s- and the donuts, uh, in our meetings then, we all had– they all served donuts. [03:25.4 – 03:34.2] And, and Ernie, uh, I don’t know where he got them, as they were but they were more than a day old. [03:34.2 – 03:40.0] You, you didn’t want to drop them on the floor so they’d shatter, so. [03:40.0 – 03:44.7] So, uh, anyway, that was our introduction. [03:44.7 – 03:53.2] I say our, my wive– uh, uh, I don’t have a mouse in my pocket, but I say our because my wife and I came in together, and we got sober together. [03:53.2 – 04:01.4] And, uh, Ernie was, uh, the elected committeeman for, uh, this area. [04:01.4 – 04:06.8] It was before, uh, they separated the areas, and it was just, uh, Los Angeles area. [04:06.8 – 04:10.7] And so, uh, he didn’t have a car, and I did have a car left. [04:10.7 – 04:18.6] So, uh, I was designated to, to drive him into, uh, the Cecil Hotel in San Bernardino– in Los Angeles. [04:18.6 – 04:21.7] And, uh, i- it was quite an experience. [04:21.7 – 04:26.1] And so what he done, well, he got me into service right away. [04:26.1 – 04:31.1] And, uh, uh, each night we’d go a different place. [04:31.1 – 04:36.0] So what, uh, like a meeting every night and twice on Sunday, and that was usual. [04:36.0 – 04:40.9] And we had, had, had this man– and he kept me real busy . [04:40.9 – 04:49.6] And that was, uh, I was real, uh, real, uh I was real glad afterward that happened. [04:49.6 – 04:55.3] And I’m getting a little ahead of myself because we started a little late, and that’s not an excuse. [04:55.3 – 05:05.4] But, uh, in this area, when we introduce, uh, when you have these, uh, long-timer meetings, why we introduce, uh, uh, when we introduce our [05:05.4 – 05:08.7] speakers, why we like to have them give them their sobriety date. [05:08.7 – 05:11.1] And I’m gonna have, uh, Bill C. [05:11.1 – 05:15.0] come up here and, uh, uh, give his sobriety date. [05:15.0 – 05:19.5] And he’s gonna read the original portion of chapter five and how it works. [05:19.5 – 05:20.9] Bill? [05:29.7 – 05:30.2] Hi, everybody. [05:30.2 – 05:31.1] I’m, I’m Bill. [05:31.1 – 05:33.0] I’m an alcoholic, and- Hi, Bill … [05:33.0 – 05:43.0] I became an alcoholic September 26th, 1966, and that means I was 36 year old sober [05:43.0 – 05:43.6] yesterday. [05:43.6 – 05:50.2] And she, that woman right over there, she’s the one that turned me in to me, you see. [05:50.2 – 06:00.3] She- You know, she used to be, uh, she’d have going long periods of not dr- on the wagon for [06:00.3 – 06:03.1] long periods of time, and my life was miserable. [06:03.1 – 06:05.8] And my life had been miserable there for quite a while. [06:05.8 – 06:06.3] I don’t know. [06:06.3 – 06:08.7] But anyhow, she thought I had a drinking problem. [06:08.7 – 06:10.2] She turned me into you. [06:10.2 – 06:12.5] And she, and Chuck C. [06:12.5 – 06:14.3] was the speaker that night, you know. [06:14.3 – 06:19.5] And she identified, but, you know, you know, smarty, smarty pants. [06:19.5 – 06:25.6] She’s always been a smartass, but- She identified right off the bat, see. [06:25.6 – 06:30.4] And then she started 12 Steps with me right immediately. [06:30.4 – 06:31.8] You know, she pointed at me. [06:31.8 – 06:37.0] But that’s good because I am not very bright, and I do not, uh, read well. [06:37.0 – 06:42.9] And, uh, so she explained what people were sharing with me at the, at the meetings, you know? [06:42.9 – 06:46.6] And, um, well, it’s the truth. [06:46.6 – 06:53.9] I mean, hell, uh, you know, you people says to keep coming back, and that’s the best deal I’d been having for a long time, you know. [06:53.9 – 07:00.8] And nobody was ca- saying keep coming back, and they damn sure weren’t asking me if they had anyone, if I had anything I want to share with them, you know. [07:00.8 – 07:03.1] But you people, you sick people did. [07:03.1 – 07:10.5] And I kept coming back, and this program started working for me, you know, in spite of me. [07:10.5 – 07:19.1] I thank God for, for people like you in places like this, and I thank God that my wife thought I had a problem, you know. [07:19.1 – 07:22.1] And I knew she was a worse drunk than I was, anyhow. [07:22.1 – 07:25.1] Nobody asked me. [07:25.1 – 07:29.8] I kept trying to tell those people, you know, trying to tell them how what a drunk she was, you know. [07:29.8 – 07:31.8] And they’d just look at me with that stare, you know. [07:31.8 – 07:38.2] And I never could convince them what a drunk she was, you know. [07:38.2 – 07:44.4] How it works, it used to work this way, and it works well today. [07:44.4 – 07:51.7] Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions. [07:51.7 – 08:01.8] Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who [08:01.8 – 08:05.6] are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. [08:05.6 – 08:07.6] There are such unfortunates. [08:07.6 – 08:09.3] They are not at fault. [08:09.3 – 08:11.2] They seem to have been born that way. [08:11.2 – 08:19.8] They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life which demands rigorous honesty. [08:19.8 – 08:22.4] Their chances are less than average. [08:22.4 – 08:30.1] There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. [08:30.1 – 08:37.5] Our story discloses in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. [08:37.5 – 08:47.4] If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to, to follow directions. [08:47.4 – 08:51.2] At some of these, you may balk. [08:51.2 – 08:54.7] You may think you can find an easier, softer way. [08:54.7 – 08:57.2] We doubt if you can. [08:57.2 – 09:05.2] With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. [09:05.2 – 09:13.0] Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. [09:13.0 – 09:19.6] Remember that you are dealing with alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful. [09:19.6 – 09:22.1] Without help, it is too much for us. [09:22.1 – 09:25.2] But there is One who has all power. [09:25.2 – 09:27.3] That One is God. [09:27.3 – 09:29.7] You must find Him now. [09:29.7 – 09:33.8] Half measures will avail you nothing. [09:33.8 – 09:36.4] You stand at the turning point. [09:36.4 – 09:42.6] Throw yourself under His protection and care with complete abandon. [09:42.6 – 09:45.4] Now we think that you can take it. [09:45.4 – 09:52.7] Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as your program of recovery. [09:52.7 – 09:59.4] One, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. [09:59.4 – 10:03.2] Two, came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. [10:03.2 – 10:12.2] Three, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care and direction of God as we understand Him. [10:12.2 – 10:16.9] Four, made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. [10:16.9 – 10:24.7] Five, admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. [10:24.7 – 10:31.5] Six, we’re entirely willing that God remove all these defects of character. [10:31.5 – 10:38.8] Seven, humbly on our knees asked Him to remove our shortc- shortcomings, holding nothing back. [10:38.8 – 10:45.8] Eight, made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends with them all. [10:45.8 – 10:52.6] Nine, made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. [10:53.7 – 10:59.2] Ten, continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. [10:59.2 – 11:09.5] Eleven, sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge [11:09.5 – 11:12.1] of His will for us and the power to carry that out. [11:12.1 – 11:14.8] Excuse me. [11:14.8 – 11:25.0] Twelve, having had a spiritual awaking, wakening as a result of this course of action, we tried to carry this message to [11:25.0 – 11:27.8] others, especially alcoholics- … [11:27.8 – 11:31.2] and to practice these principles in all our affairs. [11:31.2 – 11:32.3] Don’t laugh. [11:32.3 – 11:33.8] This used to work, too, you know? [11:33.8 – 11:38.6] You may exclaim, “What an order. [11:38.6 – 11:42.2] I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. [11:42.2 – 11:47.5] No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. [11:47.5 – 11:49.3] We are not saints. [11:49.3 – 11:53.3] The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. [11:53.3 – 11:57.8] The principles we have set down are guides to progress. [11:57.8 – 12:02.3] We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. [12:02.3 – 12:12.3] Our description of the alcoholic in chapter two of the Agnostic and our personal adventures before and after have been designed [12:12.3 – 12:22.3] to sell you three pertinent ideas: A, that you are an alcoholic and cannot manage your own life. [12:22.3 – 12:28.8] B, that probably no human power can relieve your alcoholism. [12:28.8 – 12:34.9] C, that God can, could, God can and will. [12:34.9 – 12:45.5] If you are not convinced on these vital issues, you [12:45.5 – 12:50.7] may reread the big, re- reread the book at this point, or else throw it away. [12:50.7 – 13:00.3] I thank God for people like you who are waiting in places like this for this drunken jackass to come along and share this program with me. [13:00.3 – 13:01.4] Keep coming back. [13:01.4 – 13:08.5] Thank you, Bill. [13:08.5 – 13:16.0] Uh, one of the gentlemen that I first met when I come on the program was a man by the Ken Ha- uh, name of Ken Hayden. [13:16.0 – 13:21.7] And he was a gentleman that brought, uh, AA to the Inland Empire here. [13:21.7 – 13:31.7] And, uh, for some reason, he befriended me and my wife, and, uh, he would, uh, take us to all the functions that he and Audrey went [13:31.7 – 13:32.1] to. [13:32.1 – 13:39.2] And, uh, I often got a big kick out of it and couldn’t understand these alcoholics getting sober and still arguing. [13:39.2 – 13:49.5] Uh, oh, he invited me to one of his birthday parties, and there was Al Marano and, and Chuck C., and, uh, several other, uh, the, the old-timers, [13:49.5 – 13:50.4] real old-timers. [13:50.4 – 13:58.4] And, uh, uh, one afternoon, we were having this party for celebrating, I think, Kent’s 25th birthday or something. [13:58.4 – 14:08.4] And he and, uh, Al Marano got in a big argument, and I told Lu- Lu Turner, my wife, and I says, “God, if this is what, uh, uh, uh, AA is all about, [14:08.4 – 14:10.4] we might as well go home and start drinking again. [14:10.4 – 14:16.5] They’re just arguing like we used to.” But, uh, but anyway, I was very fortunate because they, uh… [14:16.5 – 14:26.5] One of the things that Ernie told me early on at this 12, he says, “Some, some time y- uh, along the way, sir, you’re gonna seek the counsel of the people [14:26.5 – 14:29.5] that’s gone before you.” And I’ve often done that, you know. [14:29.5 – 14:33.3] And, uh, Ernie left town, and I got me another sponsor. [14:33.3 – 14:36.7] And, uh, he put me to work right away also. [14:36.7 – 14:45.6] And, uh, there w- He– Uh, we used to go Piddle Rock in, in, uh, on Wednesday night in Crestline, and I couldn’t get out of it. [14:45.6 – 14:51.7] Uh, I, and I still go to jail, uh, uh, o- o- on a regular basis. [14:51.7 – 14:52.6] I go to jail. [14:52.6 – 15:00.7] Uh, I have t- uh, two panels at, uh, uh, Glen Helen, and I, and, uh, I keep, uh, I keep moving right along. [15:00.7 – 15:07.0] And but one of my, uh, favorite things is, uh, working i- in, uh, archives. [15:07.0 – 15:11.2] And I’ve, I’ve been on archives committee for several years now. [15:11.2 – 15:19.0] And, uh, when I first got on the program, I was, uh, I was in the cabinet business, but I, I also done antiques. [15:19.0 – 15:27.1] And I’d go all these, uh, uh, like Salvation Army and, and, a- a- and, uh, Goodwill and hoping to find… [15:27.1 – 15:36.2] And I got to looking for, for, uh, AA books because we had these guys coming into the 12-step house, and they, and they didn’t, they didn’t have any money. [15:36.2 – 15:38.5] So I’d pick them up for a quarter or a dime. [15:38.5 – 15:43.6] Uh, and, and we’d, we’d give them to these n- these newcomers. [15:43.6 – 15:49.6] And I wouldn’t open a book up to see if it was the first printing of the first edition or what I… [15:49.6 – 15:52.2] It, it was an AA book, and we just gave them away. [15:52.2 – 16:02.2] And I often wonder back, uh, you know, uh- And so later on, I got interested in archives, and I’ve been interested, like I say, for several [16:02.2 – 16:02.5] years. [16:02.5 – 16:08.6] One of the things that l- uh, this lady brought to mind was, was names. [16:08.6 – 16:19.0] You know, we have so, so many pictures in our depository that, you know, all these people, uh, and there’s a lot of pictures, and maybe there’s [16:19.6 – 16:22.0] 15 people and only two identified. [16:22.0 – 16:32.3] So if you’re at one of these functions, you know, and you’re taking these pictures of your friends and your new acquaintances, why, write down their names and, [16:32.3 – 16:34.2] uh, so we can, uh, remember it. [16:34.2 – 16:36.5] So little things like that. [16:36.5 – 16:46.7] And if, uh, you know, if, if we don’t do that, uh, ’cause eventually, uh, new things become old and become [16:46.7 – 16:53.8] from very, uh, very valuable, not only, uh, money wise, but, uh, historically wise. [16:53.8 – 16:57.9] So, uh, I’m kinda in that, in, in that. [16:57.9 – 16:59.5] Now we have, uh, one of… [16:59.5 – 17:05.9] I think we have one of the finest collections, and I know there’s other good collections, but we have, we have… [17:05.9 – 17:13.5] Now we’ve had to move out of our, our, uh, depository on Mount Vernon and San Bernardino. [17:13.5 – 17:23.8] Our stuff is in storage and, and, uh, I’m all for getting it out and getting it on display again and getting a new b- new place because we do have a tendency [17:23.8 – 17:25.6] to get to lose these things. [17:25.6 – 17:35.7] And it be– the, the older we are and, and the long, the longer, uh, you know, the, as AA goes along, why, the, the more va- uh, valuable [17:35.7 – 17:41.4] to the, to not only we that are in now in AA, but the, the guys that’s gonna come along. [17:41.4 – 17:51.5] And, uh, so it’s, it’s very, uh, very, uh, interesting to me, and I know it’s very interesting to you or you [17:51.5 – 17:53.6] wouldn’t be here, so you’re interested also. [17:53.6 – 18:02.0] But, but anyway, uh, we have, uh, several speakers tonight, and we’re gonna, uh, try to g- uh, try to get around to it. [18:02.0 – 18:11.7] We have, uh, five speakers, and I’m gonna call on the first one, and, uh, it’s Bob D., uh, from, I think he’s from the High Desert. [18:11.7 – 18:14.2] He’s coming up here. [18:14.2 – 18:23.3] We’re gonna, we’re gonna try to, uh, to, to limit him to about twenty minutes. [18:23.3 – 18:31.8] And, uh, if not, uh, this, my sponsee over here, uh, he’s gonna sh- he’s gonna shoot him out of the saddle. [18:31.8 – 18:33.5] So- Thanks. [18:33.5 – 18:34.2] Welcome, Bob. [18:34.2 – 18:35.0] Thanks very much. [18:35.0 – 18:36.2] Good evening. [18:36.2 – 18:37.9] My name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic. [18:37.9 – 18:39.1] Hi, Bob. [18:39.1 – 18:40.8] I can tell you all I know in a minute and a half. [18:40.8 – 18:46.5] I used to have a friend that said I’d tell you all I know when I said my name. [18:46.5 – 18:48.0] Uh, I’m honored to be here. [18:48.0 – 18:50.1] I, I know all the meetings started at eight thirty. [18:50.1 – 18:54.6] They didn’t when I came in to George, but I wasn’t old then, and I didn’t go to bed at nine o’clock. [18:54.6 – 18:56.4] Things change. [18:56.4 – 19:03.9] Uh, archives are really interesting, uh, and I, I’m really delighted to be here. [19:03.9 – 19:09.3] I, I was telling a couple of people at dinner about a situation that came up with me. [19:09.3 – 19:11.9] Um, has that got real water in that squirt gun? [19:11.9 – 19:16.5] I, I can’t see my watch without my glasses on. [19:16.5 – 19:21.7] Um, my dad came into Alcoholics Anonymous in March of nineteen forty-one. [19:21.7 – 19:26.2] We lived in the San Fernando Valley, if any of you here know where that is. [19:26.2 – 19:28.0] Some of you are too young to know. [19:28.0 – 19:29.5] It’s eighty miles west of here. [19:29.5 – 19:39.6] We lived in North Hollywood, and my dad read the article in Saturday Evening Post magazine and, and hitchhiked every Friday night for six or eight weeks [19:39.6 – 19:47.4] to North, from North Hollywood to Los Angeles and then got a ride back in the rumble seat of a Packard convertible, and then it rained every damn Friday night. [19:47.4 – 19:51.2] Um, he got tired of that. [19:51.2 – 19:59.0] He and four other guys that were tired of the drive started a group in North Hollywood, and the reason I know that is they began meeting in our homes. [19:59.0 – 20:00.5] And my brother and I were little kids. [20:00.5 – 20:07.6] I was nine, and my brother was twelve, and we would peek out and watch these old guys out there drinking coffee and smoking and talking. [20:07.6 – 20:09.3] So I know when it started. [20:09.3 – 20:19.6] And, um, these details get kind of catchy, so I’m, I’m not gonna really dwell on them ’cause, um, but it’s a, a little interesting [20:19.6 – 20:20.7] because of the archives. [20:20.7 – 20:26.5] Um, in nineteen ninety-five, my wife and I retired, and we moved to the High Desert. [20:26.5 – 20:34.6] There was a guy that had lived up there that I had spoken for, he and his wife, a time or two up there, had moved back to the San Fernando Valley. [20:34.6 – 20:36.3] We got really well acquainted. [20:36.3 – 20:40.5] They moved back to the High Desert the same time we did, the same weekend that we did. [20:40.5 – 20:44.1] And we went to meetings together and knew each other and had dinners and stuff. [20:44.1 – 20:52.4] And he called me about a year ago, and he said, “Kathy and I have sold our house in Spring Valley Lake. [20:52.4 – 21:02.4] We’re downsizing to a mobile home, and we’re cleaning out the house.” And he said, “A guy, uh, from North Hollywood gave me a box about ten [21:02.4 – 21:12.5] years ago, and I’ve carried it around every damn place we’ve moved, and I was just about to throw it in the trash because we’re throwing a lot of stuff away, and I decided to break the [21:12.5 – 21:22.2] seal on it and open it up, and there are fifty-five letters in that box written from the North Hollywood and Burbank groups to central office. [21:22.2 – 21:29.8] And the first letter on top was handwritten to Bill Wilson in August of ’41 from some guy named Frank Darden. [21:29.8 – 21:35.9] Is that your dad?” And I said, “Yes.” Now, unfortunately, my dad didn’t stay sober his whole life. [21:35.9 – 21:37.7] He had about eleven years and ten months. [21:37.7 – 21:42.7] And for a lot of reason only known to him, he drank again and drank fourteen years and then died. [21:42.7 – 21:45.1] But that letter was there. [21:45.1 – 21:45.9] The an- [21:46.3 – 21:48.7] was in there in September of ’41. [21:48.7 – 21:50.8] I guess they didn’t have much airmail in those days. [21:50.8 – 22:00.9] And what he had wanted were some kind of written literature to help them start their group, and Bill’s secretary wrote back to him and sent him some letters [22:00.9 – 22:05.9] and congratulated him on starting a satellite group in North Hollywood, California. [22:05.9 – 22:11.5] So I, I called AA central office in Van Nuys and asked Bob F. [22:11.5 – 22:16.0] there if he wanted them, and he said he did, and I ran them down there, made copies of all of them, gave them to him. [22:16.0 – 22:23.0] I also gave them to a girl named Linda who’s keeping archives just for the North Hollywood group, and she’s got them. [22:23.0 – 22:29.7] I don’t know whether any of them got here this weekend or if any of you are interested in it, but that was kind of an interesting archive story. [22:29.7 – 22:34.7] Uh, my dad was o- obviously a practicing alcoholic. [22:34.7 – 22:44.7] My brother and I grew up in this alcoholic home and, and our earliest recollections are the police coming and taking him away, and us being on welfare and getting moved from place to [22:44.7 – 22:45.6] place. [22:45.6 – 22:48.6] Uh, in those days, uh, they called it being put up. [22:48.6 – 22:49.6] We were put up. [22:49.6 – 22:55.4] You know, people put us up in a spare room or whatever, and that’s how we lived our early lives until I was about nine. [22:55.4 – 23:00.0] And, um, when my dad came in AA, our whole life changed and it got better. [23:00.0 – 23:04.1] It got, it got worse at times but it got better mostly. [23:04.1 – 23:10.2] And, and, but you would think with two kids growing up in situations like that, the last thing we would ever want to do is drink. [23:10.2 – 23:14.4] And the funny part of it is that I couldn’t wait till I could. [23:14.4 – 23:21.7] Even though all of these insanity and, and all this stuff is going on, I couldn’t wait till I could be a big guy and drink. [23:21.7 – 23:24.9] And I started when I was seven. [23:24.9 – 23:27.3] I got drunk the first time when I was 11. [23:27.3 – 23:30.9] We had moved from North Hollywood down to Lynwood, California. [23:30.9 – 23:39.1] I was born in South Gate, and my dad had wanted to get back into the business he was in, which was advertising, and it was in the south end of town, and he wanted to get back there. [23:39.1 – 23:43.3] And when he was sober about a year, we moved back to the south end of town. [23:43.3 – 23:47.3] And I was, I was a poster boy for restless, irritable, and discontent. [23:47.3 – 23:49.5] I was always restless. [23:49.5 – 23:54.7] I’m a little restless and irritable and discontent now, and I’m 71 years old almost. [23:54.7 – 23:58.3] But I, I don’t mean right now, I mean in life. [23:58.3 – 24:08.3] And I, I, uh, I started leaving school at recess and just wandering around the city of Lynwood or South Gate by myself, and [24:08.3 – 24:11.7] the nuns would call and that was another problem. [24:11.7 – 24:12.7] I didn’t like nuns. [24:12.7 – 24:17.0] And, um, I didn’t like anything about that. [24:17.0 – 24:23.2] And I, I was very rebellious and, and, uh, very headstrong and very little. [24:23.2 – 24:27.4] And, um, I didn’t like big people and I didn’t like authority. [24:27.4 – 24:30.8] And that went on for too long a time. [24:30.8 – 24:41.0] Uh, Norm Alpe used to say, “When you’re in that situation, you have to bleed a little.” And I had my turn of laying face down in the mud outside these cowboy bars because [24:41.0 – 24:44.3] I didn’t like the biggest cowboy in the bar and that kind of thing. [24:44.3 – 24:52.0] Anyway, they were rescuing me and bringing me back, and I started playing sick, and I didn’t want to go to school, and one day I found a bottle of wine in the house. [24:52.0 – 24:57.8] In those days, there were no place to take drunks, and if they found a real live drunk, they’d bring them home, you know? [24:57.8 – 25:00.8] And there was always a little alcohol in our house ’cause they couldn’t quit. [25:00.8 – 25:02.4] God forbid they had to taper them off. [25:02.4 – 25:07.8] And, um, so they’d have a little bit of whiskey in the house, a little wine in the house, give to these folks. [25:07.8 – 25:11.7] And I found a bottle of wine and drank most of it when I was 11. [25:11.7 – 25:15.1] And I couldn’t wait to do it again. [25:15.1 – 25:18.1] I got in a lot of trouble, but I couldn’t wait to do it again. [25:18.1 – 25:20.1] And my prayers were answered soon after. [25:20.1 – 25:28.2] I was sent back to North Hollywood to live with my grandmother, my divorced drinking uncle, and my divorced drinking uncle liked me, and then I was his buddy and I drank beer with him. [25:28.2 – 25:29.9] I didn’t have to go to school. [25:29.9 – 25:30.7] I didn’t do anything. [25:30.7 – 25:32.3] I just did whatever I wanted to do. [25:32.3 – 25:35.6] And there are consequences in life for every action. [25:35.6 – 25:39.5] Uh, when I was 14, I began the seventh grade. [25:39.5 – 25:44.0] You’re supposed to be a little further along by then, but- … [25:44.0 – 25:44.5] that was it. [25:44.5 – 25:53.0] When I was 16, they pushed a bunch of us out of the ninth grade into the 10th grade because if we don’t, we’re gonna be 20 when you graduate, and we can’t have that. [25:53.0 – 25:57.2] Anyway, I finally got out of high school at 19 and I went in the Air Force and I came home. [25:57.2 – 25:59.0] I wasn’t quite 21 years old. [25:59.0 – 26:03.2] And if I wasn’t an alcoholic when I left, I guarantee you I was when I came back. [26:03.2 – 26:08.8] I’d been in Casablanca, North Africa for 14 months, and I could sing As Time Goes By with the best of them. [26:08.8 – 26:18.9] I’d seen that movie I don’t know how many times, and one day I, I looked in the mirror and I thought, “Could it be?” And I, I didn’t look really a lot like Humphrey Bogart, [26:18.9 – 26:20.2] but there may have been a resemblance. [26:20.2 – 26:24.2] And, um, that lasted another six years. [26:24.2 – 26:34.2] And in the meantime, I found this poor unsuspecting girl who’s been with me 47 years now and talked her into eloping to Las Vegas and getting married, and she had no clue, no clue [26:34.2 – 26:35.6] what was gonna happen. [26:35.6 – 26:39.4] She just knew she wanted to get home from a terrible– get away from a terrible home environment. [26:39.4 – 26:43.5] And I was working in a gas station, and she liked me for some reason. [26:43.5 – 26:50.4] We got married, and two weeks later she went home to mother, and mother said, “You made your damn bed, you lie in it,” and back she came to me. [26:50.4 – 26:56.5] And three and a half years later, I walked into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. [26:56.5 – 27:02.9] I turned 27 in December of ’58, and my birthday is January 19th, 1959. [27:02.9 – 27:04.8] So once again, I’m the newcomer. [27:04.8 – 27:10.5] I love going to old-timers meetings when there’s always somebody with a lot more. [27:10.5 – 27:12.5] We had dinner with Bud and Ray the- [27:12.6 – 27:17.6] Right, and they got forty-nine and fifty years , and I’m sitting there and I, God, here I am again. [27:17.6 – 27:25.9] We went to the international convention in Minnesota two years ago, and I was sitting down on the floor of that thing with my wife, and I get a tap on the shoulder and turn around, and it’s Bud. [27:25.9 – 27:34.4] And we had a great visit, and, uh, I was chairman of our long-timers meeting at the High Desert Convention a year or two ago and had Bud as one of my speakers up there. [27:34.4 – 27:39.3] But I was telling him, two years ago, I had forty-one years, and I was one of the new… [27:39.3 – 27:44.8] There were two hundred and two of us with more than forty years at that convention, and I was one of the youngest ones there. [27:44.8 – 27:50.2] I thought, “What do you have to be to be an old-timer in this outfit?” Maybe when I’m eighty if I live that long. [27:50.2 – 27:55.4] Anyway, uh, I came to my first meeting on January 19th, 1959. [27:55.4 – 27:59.8] It was a Monday night speaker meeting in the town of Reseda, California at a park. [27:59.8 – 28:07.0] I walked up in that building and, uh, upstairs in that park building and, and a guy greeted me at the door. [28:07.0 – 28:17.0] He had traded in a gas station I had worked in at one time, and he said, “How you doing?” And I said, “Okay.” And he said, “Sit down over there,” and I sat down, and they had a speaker that night, and the meeting started at eight [28:17.0 – 28:17.3] thirty. [28:17.3 – 28:22.7] There were no coffee breaks like there are now, and this guy didn’t get sober till ten minutes to ten. [28:22.7 – 28:27.3] He went on and on and on about his thirty-two-year drinking career. [28:27.3 – 28:37.3] And finally, I said, “I’ve only been alive for twenty-seven,” and the guy punched me and said, “Shut up.” The meeting ended, and I walked out, and this guy that had traded in the gas station said, “What [28:37.3 – 28:47.4] do you think, kid?” I said, “I’ve never done all that stuff.” And the first thing I heard that night that meant anything to me was he pointed his finger at me, and he said, “Son, [28:47.4 – 28:55.3] if you keep drinking like you look like you’ve been drinking, you’re gonna do that and a lot more.” I went back the next week, and he said, “How you doing, kid?” I said, “Good. [28:55.3 – 29:00.9] I haven’t had a drink in a week.” He said, “That’s fine, son, but we do it one day at a time.” I said, “I know all about it. [29:00.9 – 29:02.1] My dad’s been in AA. [29:02.1 – 29:06.7] My brother’s been in AA.” He said, “If you knew so damn much, you wouldn’t be in the shape you’re in. [29:06.7 – 29:14.7] Sit over there.” Now, there was a bench on that side, and all the newcomers were there ’cause they were red-faced and bloated just like I was, and I knew they were newcomers. [29:14.7 – 29:16.2] And I sat on that bench. [29:16.2 – 29:19.3] And I’ve, I’ve been coming back ever since. [29:19.3 – 29:22.5] I’ve never taken another drink since January 19th, 1959. [29:22.5 – 29:30.3] And, uh, you ever hear this expression, somebody gets up and says, “I haven’t found it necessary to drink for the last…” Well, I found it necessary. [29:30.3 – 29:31.2] I just didn’t do it. [29:31.2 – 29:33.3] Right. [29:33.3 – 29:40.9] I’ve run to meetings I can’t tell you how many times and saying I lost my job. [29:40.9 – 29:42.8] They mention Al Mirano. [29:42.8 – 29:43.9] I love that man. [29:43.9 – 29:44.6] I loved him. [29:44.6 – 29:47.7] He never pretended that he walked on water. [29:47.7 – 29:52.1] We’ve only had one water walker in this outfit, and I’ve never met another one since he passed away. [29:52.1 – 29:55.9] Chuck said one time, “Thank God for Clancy. [29:55.9 – 30:06.1] Thank God there’s not two Clancys.” I can’t tell you how many times I walked into Al’s office and heard that expression [30:06.1 – 30:09.6] that they, that, uh, Bud was talking about earlier. [30:09.6 – 30:14.0] I’d sit down, and I’d go through this litany of problems that I had. [30:14.0 – 30:15.3] My kids are teenagers. [30:15.3 – 30:16.3] They’re driving me nuts. [30:16.3 – 30:18.2] I’m having trouble holding a job. [30:18.2 – 30:20.3] I’m– My wife went to work. [30:20.3 – 30:20.9] I don’t want her… [30:20.9 – 30:22.2] You know, whatever the hell it is. [30:22.2 – 30:25.5] And Al always, always had the same answer. [30:25.5 – 30:35.6] “My boy, my boy, what’s your number one problem?” I said, “Alcohol.” He says, “My boy, you take care of that number one problem, and everything [30:35.6 – 30:46.1] else will take care of itself.” And I said, “But Al…” He says, “My boy,” “everything happens in God’s time.” Okay. [30:46.1 – 30:48.8] You know, he wasn’t gonna make me a loan or anything like that. [30:48.8 – 30:50.8] It was always the same thing. [30:50.8 – 30:54.6] And I’ve told that story to thousands of young guys. [30:54.6 – 31:02.0] If I keep– My, my biggest problem today is keeping my head and my heart and my ass in the same chair at the same time. [31:02.0 – 31:04.0] O-one of them wants to wander. [31:04.0 – 31:06.0] Never fails. [31:06.0 – 31:16.0] But I, I just have to keep in mind that this is a selfish program, and, and in order for us to keep it, we have to keep it away, and we have to be dedicated [31:16.0 – 31:16.3] to it. [31:16.3 – 31:22.3] There’s a gal in, uh, Palm Desert, Donna E., and I, I heard her talk one night up at the High Desert. [31:22.3 – 31:27.5] And, and you know, sometimes the most profound things we hear are so simple. [31:27.5 – 31:29.7] You’ve all heard this. [31:29.7 – 31:32.2] AA is not for those who need it. [31:32.2 – 31:33.5] It’s for those who want it, right? [31:33.5 – 31:36.2] Donna said, “That’s not it at all. [31:36.2 – 31:41.6] It’s for those who do it.” That’s what AA is for them, the ones that do it. [31:41.6 – 31:45.7] And I have great admiration for those that do it. [31:45.7 – 31:48.2] And I, and I want to be one of those who do it. [31:48.2 – 31:53.7] I, I don’t want to hang out on the fringe somewhere and, a-a-and see what’s going on from outside. [31:53.7 – 31:57.3] I want to be in there where the action is and, and one of those that do it. [31:57.3 – 31:58.9] I got a friend down in Palm Desert. [31:58.9 – 32:02.1] I’m not going to mention his name because he got mad the last time I did. [32:02.1 – 32:03.3] Not that I broke his anonymity. [32:03.3 – 32:07.3] He says, “I don’t want credit for this stuff.” He’s got a baby in Encino, California. [32:07.3 – 32:15.0] T-the last time I saw him, and I know he does this every year, this guy Alan’s kind of a weird little kid, and he had six years. [32:15.0 – 32:24.4] And this guy drives from Palm Desert on Alan’s birthday night to Encino, California to the Thursday night men’s stag and gives him his donut and drives back. [32:24.4 – 32:25.6] I like people like that. [32:25.6 – 32:26.7] I really do. [32:26.7 – 32:34.0] I had a friend that retired and went on the road about ten years ago, and he went to the men’s stag in Encino, which started at eight thirty and ended at ten. [32:34.0 – 32:36.8] And wherever he was, if it was two hours…