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[00:00:00.780 – 00:00:02.840] And I hope it's somebody from AA that does it. [00:00:02.840 – 00:00:07.180] And when the ceremony's over, they start dropping me down in that hole. [00:00:07.180 – 00:00:12.920] Now, if my family's like the rest of them, they're not even going to wait till I get to the bottom of the hole. [00:00:12.920 – 00:00:18.360] As soon as I start down, they jump in the car and they head for that attorney's office. [00:00:18.360 – 00:00:28.400] And that attorney gets out that piece of paper and reads to them what my thinking was two or three years prior to [00:00:28.400 – 00:00:30.460] that time when I was sitting there in that office. [00:00:30.460 – 00:00:33.680] We know they call that piece of paper a will.

[00:00:33.680 – 00:00:36.000] It's not by accident. [00:00:36.000 – 00:00:40.260] Will, thinking, mind are all synonymous. [00:00:40.260 – 00:00:49.780] I'm making a decision to turn my thinking apparatus over to the care and direction of God as I understand Him. [00:00:49.780 – 00:00:52.720] Now, what else am I deciding to turn over? [00:00:52.720 – 00:00:58.280] Well, I'm deciding to turn my life over to the care and direction of God as I understand Him. [00:00:58.280 – 00:01:00.460] And what is my life? [00:01:00.460 – 00:01:04.640] Well, my life is nothing more than my actions.

[00:01:04.640 – 00:01:14.660] What I am right now, as of this moment, is the sum accumulative total of all the actions that I've taken throughout my entire lifetime has [00:01:14.660 – 00:01:16.220] made me what I am today. [00:01:16.220 – 00:01:21.800] All action is born in thought. [00:01:21.800 – 00:01:22.980] Say that again, please. [00:01:22.980 – 00:01:25.680] All action is born in thought. [00:01:25.680 – 00:01:31.920] Sometimes we react to a situation so fast we think we do it automatically, but we don't. [00:01:31.920 – 00:01:39.360] I can't even reach out and pick up this cup of water unless my mind tells my body to do so.

[00:01:39.360 – 00:01:49.680] So if all action is born in thought, then it stands to reason my life is going to be determined by how I think. [00:01:49.680 – 00:01:56.120] If my thinking is okay, chances are my actions will be okay. [00:01:56.120 – 00:01:59.040] Chances are my life's going to be okay, too. [00:01:59.040 – 00:02:09.320] If my thinking is lousy, chances are the actions that I take will be lousy, and chances are I'm going to have a fouled up life, too. [00:02:09.320 – 00:02:19.360] Now, when I got to this stage of the program, I went to my sponsor and I said, "I don't think I'm going to be able to take step three." And he said, "Why?" And I said, "Because if [00:02:19.360 – 00:02:25.940] I turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him, I have no idea what He would have me be. [00:02:25.940 – 00:02:35.970] And He may want me to be a missionary, and He may send me to China, and I sure as hell don't want to go there." And

[00:02:35.970 – 00:02:37.020] he just laughed. [00:02:37.020 – 00:02:47.040] He said, "Well, let's look at it this way." He said, "At least it wouldn't be in the hands of an idiot, would it?" He [00:02:47.040 – 00:02:54.860] said, "Let's look back through your lifetime." He said, "You've always been a selfish, self-centered, self-willed human being. [00:02:54.860 – 00:02:59.560] You've always done what you wanted to do whenever you wanted to do it, and the hell with the rest of them. [00:02:59.560 – 00:03:10.120] Is that right?" And I said, "Well, you know it is." He said, "The end result of that is that you almost destroyed your life." And he said, "Just as importantly, [00:03:10.120 – 00:03:21.310] you've almost destroyed the lives of those around you that care for you." He said, "Just think, if God could direct your thinking, it might become better." And [00:03:21.310 – 00:03:31.460] he said, "If your thinking becomes better, then your actions and your life's going to become better." And he said, "Just as importantly, the lives of those around you that care for you would probably

[00:03:31.460 – 00:03:41.220] become better, too." But he said, "Charlie, left on your own resources, you're always going to do the same things you've always done. [00:03:41.220 – 00:03:43.860] You're going to remain restless, irritable, and discontented. [00:03:43.860 – 00:03:53.880] You're going to stay filled with shame, fear, guilt, and remorse." And he said, "Sooner or later, under those conditions, you're going to go back to drinking again." He said, "If you don't [00:03:53.880 – 00:04:04.620] find some way to be sober and have a little peace of mind, serenity, and happiness, you'll never have any long-lasting sobriety." And he said, "You can't do that on self-will." [00:04:04.620 – 00:04:14.620] And he got it through to me in such a manner that I was able to make the decision to turn my will, which is my thinking apparatus, and my life, [00:04:14.620 – 00:04:18.680] which is my actions, over to the care of God as I understood Him. [00:04:18.680 – 00:04:24.100] Absolutely amazing what has taken place since that time, Joe.

[00:04:24.100 – 00:04:33.740] You know, remember last night in the area of the, uh, forward to the first edition, they said that precisely, specifically with clear-cut directions. [00:04:33.740 – 00:04:40.820] And, you know, Bill wrote down those precise, specific, clear-cut directions on originally how it works, but they forced some changes on him. [00:04:40.820 – 00:04:45.920] And when these changes come out and then what we see in the, in the book now, those are the changes that are made. [00:04:45.920 – 00:04:48.710] So a little continuity of the book kind of got mixed up here. [00:04:48.710 – 00:04:55.660] Bill's precise, specifically, and clear-cut directions were altered a little bit, but later on he puts them back in the book, as we see. [00:04:55.660 – 00:05:03.620] So right here- By the way, as far as we know, we're the only species on Earth that's ever faced with this decision. [00:05:03.620 – 00:05:08.260] It seems as though all the other species on Earth don't have self-will.

[00:05:08.260 – 00:05:14.880] That whatever they do at any given time is always done on God's time at God's direction. [00:05:14.880 – 00:05:21.640] It seems as though we human beings are the only species that God gave this thing called self-will to. [00:05:21.640 – 00:05:27.000] Therefore, you see very few of the other species here on Earth in trouble. [00:05:27.000 – 00:05:31.180] I've never seen a tree hit a car yet. [00:05:31.180 – 00:05:36.820] The one thing wrong with self-will is everybody's got one. [00:05:36.820 – 00:05:38.500] That's one of the things wrong with it. [00:05:38.500 – 00:05:46.020] So our book says, and he gives us these little instructions here now, they're going to come short and sweet, and we have to be prepared to see them.

[00:05:46.020 – 00:05:48.300] And he says the first, so he's going to tell us what to do first. [00:05:48.300 – 00:05:53.820] The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. [00:05:53.820 – 00:05:59.740] On that basis, we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. [00:05:59.740 – 00:06:02.552] Most people try to live by self-propulsion. [00:06:02.552 – 00:06:10.352] Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show, is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery, and the rest of the players in his own way. [00:06:10.352 – 00:06:16.792] If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. [00:06:16.792 – 00:06:19.332] Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.

[00:06:19.332 – 00:06:20.652] Life would be wonderful. [00:06:20.652 – 00:06:22.532] Wouldn't that be nice if everybody would mind? [00:06:22.532 – 00:06:24.592] They won't mind me. [00:06:24.592 – 00:06:27.472] They just won't do it because they have self-will. [00:06:27.472 – 00:06:30.852] My will for my wife and my children is one thing. [00:06:30.852 – 00:06:34.392] Their will and their, this, life is another. [00:06:34.392 – 00:06:37.732] They have a, a self-will, and their thoughts are different from mine.

[00:06:37.732 – 00:06:41.472] And sometimes, and most of the times, they're in conflict, and they just won't mind me. [00:06:41.472 – 00:06:42.672] That's– And I know they'd be off… [00:06:42.672 – 00:06:45.112] a lot better off if they would, but they won't. [00:06:45.112 – 00:06:55.132] Now, some twelve or thirteen years after Bill wrote the Big Book, and after many, many years' experience with some of the great teachers and minds in the world, and after many, many [00:06:55.132 – 00:07:01.412] years with, with experience with us alcoholics, Bill was forced to, to write the Twelve and Twelve. [00:07:01.412 – 00:07:05.511] And he was really trying to push the, the, the Traditions on the Fellowship. [00:07:05.511 – 00:07:09.812] He was hard-selling the Traditions to the Fellowship, and they weren't buying a lot of it.

[00:07:09.812 – 00:07:11.612] But they needed the Traditions, and he knew that. [00:07:11.612 – 00:07:21.612] So he decided to write the Traditions, and he thought, "Well, I'll put some short stories or short essays about the Steps in with the Traditions, and maybe if they will read the Steps, [00:07:21.612 – 00:07:26.012] they'll eventually read the Traditions." So he wrote the Twelve and Twelve for us. [00:07:26.012 – 00:07:30.592] And the Twelve and Twelve, again, is just a short essays, short stories about the Steps. [00:07:30.592 – 00:07:33.112] And it doesn't tell you how to work the Steps. [00:07:33.112 – 00:07:35.532] It is a short stories about the Steps. [00:07:35.532 – 00:07:40.662] The only piece of literature in AA that tells you how to work the Steps is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:07:40.662 – 00:07:50.692] But in the area of the fourth step in the Twelve and Twelve, there was some, some of the best information the world's ever seen on about self-will and what makes people tick, [00:07:50.692 – 00:07:53.112] and it's called the Basic Instincts of Life. [00:07:53.112 – 00:08:03.132] And I always suggest to people that I, that I sponsor that they go to the Twelve and Twelve, read the first three or four pages about the Basic Instincts of Life, get a working knowledge about [00:08:03.132 – 00:08:07.932] the words that you see in there, and then look them up in the dictionary because they're very important words. [00:08:07.932 – 00:08:12.932] And then we're gonna use them a little later on in the third column when we get ready to do the fourth step inventory. [00:08:12.932 – 00:08:23.012] So I needed a working knowledge of that information, and Bill, in his usual manner, wrote some of the best information about the Basic Instincts of Life, and very, very important information. [00:08:23.012 – 00:08:33.441] I think we have to face the fact that in nineteen thirty-seven, thirty-eight and thirty-nine, when Bill was writing the Big Book, he was not a spiritual

[00:08:33.441 – 00:08:34.012] giant. [00:08:34.012 – 00:08:37.872] He was not a great student of human nature. [00:08:37.872 – 00:08:43.072] Bill was a night school lawyer, a New York City stock speculator. [00:08:43.072 – 00:08:51.012] Yet he was able to write one of the most spiritual books the world has ever seen, dealing with human nature. [00:08:51.012 – 00:08:58.692] Surely, surely, God took a hand in the writing of the Big Book and used Bill's hand to write the book. [00:08:58.692 – 00:09:08.692] But by nineteen fifty and fifty-one and fifty-two, Bill knew a lot more about spirituality, a lot more [00:09:08.692 – 00:09:12.892] about human nature, a lot more about we alcoholics than he did back in the thirties.

[00:09:12.892 – 00:09:16.972] Studied with some of the greatest minds in the world for a period of years. [00:09:16.972 – 00:09:27.052] And I think he felt that he had some new information that he could give us that would make it easier for us to work the Steps according to the Big Book [00:09:27.052 – 00:09:28.292] Alcoholics Anonymous. [00:09:28.292 – 00:09:36.152] Basically, that's what he says in the Twelve and Twelve, that the Big Book has always been the basic text and always will be. [00:09:36.152 – 00:09:40.952] You simply cannot work the program out of the Twelve and Twelve. [00:09:40.952 – 00:09:47.652] I see lots of people try it, but they can't do it because there's no directions on how to work the Steps. [00:09:47.652 – 00:09:50.172] And I think that's why a lot of people love it.

[00:09:50.172 – 00:09:58.332] They can get in it and dance around and philosophize, and they never have to do anything except talk. [00:09:58.332 – 00:10:08.392] But there's some information in there that is absolutely invaluable, that if we can see it and understand it and accept it, it makes [00:10:08.392 – 00:10:12.952] the working of the Steps out of the Big Book so much simpler and so much easier. [00:10:12.952 – 00:10:23.012] And these three basic instincts of life that Joe's talking about, he taught me in step four in the Twelve and Twelve more about what [00:10:23.012 – 00:10:27.992] makes me tick and what makes me do the things I do and act the way I act. [00:10:27.992 – 00:10:35.772] He taught me there more in two or three pages than I had learned in some forty years of living at that time. [00:10:35.772 – 00:10:38.012] Let's look at them for just a moment.

[00:10:38.012 – 00:10:44.652] I think it'll be– make it a lot easier to be able to see why we need to make our decision in three. [00:10:44.652 – 00:10:48.992] Plus, it sets us up really with information for step four. [00:10:48.992 – 00:10:54.372] Now, in your handout sheets, you've got a little picture in here about the middle in there somewhere. [00:10:54.372 – 00:11:04.452] I think it's page seven and eight in your handout material, which says, "The basic instincts of life which create self." And he said, "All human [00:11:04.452 – 00:11:08.172] beings are born with three basic instincts of life. [00:11:08.172 – 00:11:10.172] They are God-given. [00:11:10.172 – 00:11:14.232] They're absolutely necessary for survival of the human race.

[00:11:14.232 – 00:11:24.452] Therefore, they are a good thing." The first thing he talked about is the social instinct, and he said, "All human beings are born with a desire [00:11:24.452 – 00:11:34.512] to be liked, to be accepted, to be respected by other people." He said, "All human beings are born with a desire to come together in groups [00:11:34.512 – 00:11:44.792] with other people," and said if we didn't have those desires and cared nothing for each other, that the world would go into complete anarchy, dog-eat-dog [00:11:44.792 – 00:11:50.752] situation would reign, and eventually, under those conditions, the human race would fail to survive. [00:11:50.752 – 00:11:54.772] Now, he used several terms under the social instinct. [00:11:54.772 – 00:12:01.632] He uses the term companionship, and that's nothing more than wanting to belong or to be accepted. [00:12:01.632 – 00:12:07.932] So many of us grew up on the outside of the crowd looking in, wanting to be, and knew we could not be.

[00:12:07.932 – 00:12:11.012] He uses the term prestige. [00:12:11.012 – 00:12:15.572] That's wanting to be recognized or to be accepted as the leader of the group. [00:12:15.572 – 00:12:17.812] And the world needs leaders. [00:12:17.812 – 00:12:25.252] You know, I guess somebody back in the old caveman days had to say, "John, get behind that tree with your spar– with your spear. [00:12:25.252 – 00:12:33.212] Jack, you get over there with your club, and Mary Jo and I will run this sucker through here, and we'll have something." Somebody gotta do that. [00:12:33.212 – 00:12:39.832] Most people will take one of two directions, either let me be a part of or let me be the leader of. [00:12:39.832 – 00:12:44.032] In either case, it's based upon what other people think of us.

[00:12:44.032 – 00:12:45.752] Self-esteem. [00:12:45.752 – 00:12:55.772] Self-esteem is what we think of ourselves, and that's usually high or low based upon what other people think of us or what we think other people [00:12:55.772 – 00:12:56.432] think of us. [00:12:56.432 – 00:13:01.032] If they seem to like us and accept us, we feel pretty good toward ourselves. [00:13:01.032 – 00:13:07.172] If it feels like they reject us and they don't want us, then we feel pretty lousy toward ourselves. [00:13:07.172 – 00:13:08.752] Pride. [00:13:08.752 – 00:13:12.032] And I'm glad I got in the habit of going to the dictionary.

[00:13:12.032 – 00:13:15.992] I always thought pride was something you ought to have. [00:13:15.992 – 00:13:26.012] All I ever wanted to be as a young boy growing up, I wanted to grow up to be a man who walked tall with pride and just a [00:13:26.012 – 00:13:28.592] little bit sideways like John Wayne does. [00:13:28.592 – 00:13:35.972] Until I looked it up in the dictionary, and it says pride is an excessive and unjustified opinion of oneself. [00:13:35.972 – 00:13:41.352] We either think too well of ourselves or too little of ourselves, and in either case, it's not the truth. [00:13:41.352 – 00:13:46.692] Personal relationships is our relations with other human beings in the world around us. [00:13:46.692 – 00:13:53.432] Ambitions are the plans for the future, to be liked, to be accepted, and so on and so forth.

[00:13:53.432 – 00:13:56.332] All human beings have these things. [00:13:56.332 – 00:14:04.932] Now, if I wanna be liked and accepted and respected by the world and the people in it, the first thing I've gotta do is decide, well, what do they want from me? [00:14:04.932 – 00:14:08.772] Society teaches us those things as we grow up. [00:14:08.772 – 00:14:11.392] It'll vary in different parts of the world. [00:14:11.392 – 00:14:13.912] One part of the world perhaps it's a good education. [00:14:13.912 – 00:14:17.572] Another part of the world it's to be a large landowner. [00:14:17.572 – 00:14:20.772] Another part of the world it's to have a large family.

[00:14:20.772 – 00:14:24.832] Any number of things based upon where we live in the world. [00:14:24.832 – 00:14:34.252] And as we grow up, and they teach us these things, and we ourselves set goals for ourself as to what we want to become in the future. [00:14:34.252 – 00:14:39.072] And if we're gonna reach the goals that we set for ourself, we're gonna have to work at it. [00:14:39.072 – 00:14:45.912] You can't just be a, a bum and sit on your duff and be successful and people like you and accept you. [00:14:45.912 – 00:14:50.012] If it's a good education, you're gonna have to work at it, whatever it might be. [00:14:50.012 – 00:14:53.892] By the same token, we're gonna have to make some sacrifices. [00:14:53.892 – 00:15:03.612] There are some things that I would really like to do as a human being that are very pleasurable and very exciting, but if you catch me at it, you're not gonna like me at all.

[00:15:03.612 – 00:15:13.632] And I don't think you and I would do the work necessary to reach the goal, nor make the sacrifices necessary, unless we get a reward [00:15:13.632 – 00:15:14.412] for doing so. [00:15:14.412 – 00:15:23.992] And the great reward, Bill said it in his story when he said, "I had arrived." God, how many of us have done it? [00:15:23.992 – 00:15:29.332] We've set that goal, and we just literally worked our tails off for years. [00:15:29.332 – 00:15:33.932] And the day we reach the goal, and they pat us on the back, and they say, "Oh, Joe, you're a fine fellow. [00:15:33.932 – 00:15:35.212] You're a good man. [00:15:35.212 – 00:15:42.672] You're doing great." There's a– A feeling comes over us, which is one of those indescribably wonderful feelings.

[00:15:42.672 – 00:15:43.892] Great, great feeling. [00:15:43.892 – 00:15:48.792] The only thing wrong with it, seems to be just a temporary feeling. [00:15:48.792 – 00:15:58.992] No sooner do we reach the goal, we get the praise, we get the recognition, we get the prestige from it, and we look around, we say, "Well, is this all there is to it?" And [00:15:58.992 – 00:16:07.152] we set another goal, and we work, and we work, and we strive, and we strive, and we sacrifice, and we reach the new goal, and we get the praise and recognition. [00:16:07.152 – 00:16:07.792] Feels great. [00:16:07.792 – 00:16:08.302] Doesn't last… [00:16:08.435 – 00:16:09.715] As long and we set another goal.

[00:16:09.715 – 00:16:19.715] It seems to create within we human beings an insatiable desire for more and more power, more and more recognition, and we're not getting it fast enough, and they're not giving it to us the [00:16:19.715 – 00:16:20.795] way we think they ought to. [00:16:20.795 – 00:16:21.855] So what do we do about it? [00:16:21.855 – 00:16:24.115] Well, we start taking shortcuts. [00:16:24.115 – 00:16:32.715] We start doing a little lying, a little conning, a little manipulating, a little stepping on other people's toes and climbing on their backs. [00:16:32.715 – 00:16:36.335] And the instant we do so, we create pain and suffering for others. [00:16:36.335 – 00:16:41.035] They in turn retaliate against us and create pain and suffering for us.

[00:16:41.035 – 00:16:44.375] Plain little life run on self-will could hardly ever be a success. [00:16:44.375 – 00:16:48.964] Under those conditions, we'll always be in collision with people, places, and things. [00:16:48.964 – 00:16:53.515] Second basic instinct he talked about is the security instinct. [00:16:53.515 – 00:17:01.255] Now, I know in AA we try to live one day at a time, but I also noticed about everybody in this room's got an insurance policy. [00:17:01.255 – 00:17:05.575] The purpose of the insurance policy is to protect ourselves in the future. [00:17:05.575 – 00:17:10.395] Bill said all human beings are born with the desire to be secure in the future. [00:17:10.395 – 00:17:20.495] Said if we didn't have that desire, we wouldn't provide the food, the clothing, the shelter, the things that we need to survive, and next winter we would just simply freeze to death,

[00:17:20.495 – 00:17:23.115] or the next drought season we would starve to death. [00:17:23.115 – 00:17:30.255] So this desire that we have to be secure in the future is a God-given thing, and it is necessary for our survival. [00:17:30.255 – 00:17:37.495] Now, once again, if you're going to be secure in the future, you have to decide, well, what is it that I need in order to be secure? [00:17:37.495 – 00:17:43.935] Society usually teaches us those things as we grow up, and it varies in different parts of the world. [00:17:43.935 – 00:17:46.775] One part of the world you only need four dollars. [00:17:46.775 – 00:17:49.835] Another part of the world you need four thousand. [00:17:49.835 – 00:17:52.795] Another part of the world maybe you need four million.

[00:17:52.795 – 00:17:55.615] Another part of the world you need a hundred and ninety-eight coconuts. [00:17:55.615 – 00:17:59.115] Whatever it is that they use to measure, trade, and barter with. [00:17:59.115 – 00:18:06.155] Based upon what we're taught, we set goals for ourselves, and we begin to work at it. [00:18:06.155 – 00:18:10.395] Now, if you're going to be secure in the future, you can't just sit on your, your duff and be a bum. [00:18:10.395 – 00:18:11.315] You're going to have to work. [00:18:11.315 – 00:18:12.435] You're going to have to make some money. [00:18:12.435 – 00:18:13.895] You're going to have to invest it.

[00:18:13.895 – 00:18:15.775] At the same time, you've got to sacrifice. [00:18:15.775 – 00:18:19.034] Hell, we can't blow it all today and be secure tomorrow. [00:18:19.034 – 00:18:26.275] And I don't think you and I would do the work necessary to reach the goal or make the sacrifices necessary if we didn't get a reward for it. [00:18:26.275 – 00:18:31.755] Once again, the great reward is that great feeling that comes at the moment of successful completion of the goal. [00:18:31.755 – 00:18:33.395] How many of us have done it? [00:18:33.395 – 00:18:43.795] We set the goal for the new dress, for the new shoes, for the new suit, for the new drapes, for the new couch, for the new home, [00:18:43.795 – 00:18:47.555] for the new car, for the new piece of property, for the new business.

[00:18:47.555 – 00:18:50.815] And we work and we work and we strive and we strive. [00:18:50.815 – 00:18:56.615] And the day that sucker's paid for and nobody can take it away from us, what a great, great feeling that is. [00:18:56.615 – 00:19:00.365] Hell, back when I was a kid, hardly anybody owned their own homes. [00:19:00.365 – 00:19:07.395] Once in a great while, somebody would buy a home, and they would sacrifice everything they had to pay that sucker off. [00:19:07.395 – 00:19:15.675] And the day they paid it off, the feeling was so great, they would call in the neighbors, and we would have a great party and celebrate it by burning the mortgage. [00:19:15.675 – 00:19:16.895] How great that was. [00:19:16.895 – 00:19:20.275] Only thing wrong with it, it's just a temporary feeling.

[00:19:20.275 – 00:19:24.795] No sooner got the sucker paid off, and I looked around, and his house is bigger than mine. [00:19:24.795 – 00:19:28.975] Yeah, and he's got a Cadillac, and I'm driving a Chevrolet. [00:19:28.975 – 00:19:32.735] And he's got a Brooks Brothers suit, and I bought mine at Kmart's. [00:19:32.735 – 00:19:35.115] And that causes us to set another goal. [00:19:35.115 – 00:19:38.115] And we work and we work and we strive and we strive. [00:19:38.115 – 00:19:39.135] We reach the new goal. [00:19:39.135 – 00:19:40.875] Feels good, doesn't last long.

[00:19:40.875 – 00:19:41.465] We set another. [00:19:41.465 – 00:19:46.075] It seems to create an insatiable desire for more and more and more and more. [00:19:46.075 – 00:19:47.715] And we're not getting it fast enough. [00:19:47.715 – 00:19:49.615] They're not giving it to us like we think they should. [00:19:49.615 – 00:19:50.475] So what do we do? [00:19:50.475 – 00:19:51.335] We take shortcuts. [00:19:51.335 – 00:19:51.955] We lie.

[00:19:51.955 – 00:19:52.855] We cheat. [00:19:52.855 – 00:19:53.755] We con. [00:19:53.755 – 00:19:54.895] We manipulate. [00:19:54.895 – 00:19:56.855] And the instant we do, we hurt other people. [00:19:56.855 – 00:20:00.855] They retaliate against us, creating pain and suffering for us. [00:20:00.855 – 00:20:04.435] Plain little life run on self-will can hardly ever be a success. [00:20:04.435 – 00:20:08.695] Third basic instinct he talks about is the sex instinct.

[00:20:08.695 – 00:20:13.175] He said all human beings are born with a desire to have sex. [00:20:13.175 – 00:20:23.495] Now, it may get turned off by bad teachings or bad happenings, but he said all human beings are born with a desire to have sex because if we don't have sex, we can't reproduce ourselves. [00:20:23.495 – 00:20:28.935] And if we don't reproduce ourselves, sooner or later, the human race is going to fail to survive. [00:20:28.935 – 00:20:35.895] So just like the other two, if you're going to reproduce yourself through the sexual act, you're going to have to work at it. [00:20:35.895 – 00:20:41.025] Hell, you can do more work in three minutes of sex- … [00:20:41.025 – 00:20:43.265] if you can last that long- … [00:20:43.265 – 00:20:45.095] than you will do all day digging a ditch.

[00:20:45.095 – 00:20:49.715] Don't you older fellas remember how it used to be when we got through with it? [00:20:49.715 – 00:20:52.435] My God, you just fall over sideways. [00:20:52.435 – 00:20:53.975] The sweat's just pouring off of you. [00:20:53.975 – 00:20:55.135] You can hardly get your breath. [00:20:55.135 – 00:20:58.535] You feel like you've died, gone to heaven, come back two or three times. [00:20:58.535 – 00:21:00.415] Gets excited, doesn't he? [00:21:00.415 – 00:21:07.995] And I don't think you and I would do that kind of work if we didn't get a reward for doing so.

[00:21:07.995 – 00:21:17.995] And the great reward is that great feeling we get both physically and emotionally at the moment of successful completion of the sex act, one of the greatest rewards that a [00:21:17.995 – 00:21:19.415] human being can experience. [00:21:19.415 – 00:21:25.035] But also, just like the other two, it seems to be just a temporary feeling. [00:21:25.035 – 00:21:28.515] Hell, you no sooner get through with doing it than you get to thinking about doing it again. [00:21:28.515 – 00:21:33.195] And it's such a pleasurable and exciting thing. [00:21:33.195 – 00:21:36.175] The next thing you know, you get to thinking about doing it in different ways. [00:21:36.175 – 00:21:40.375] Then you get to thinking about doing it in different positions.

[00:21:40.375 – 00:21:43.395] Then you get to thinking about doing it with different people. [00:21:43.395 – 00:21:47.905] The next thing you know, we're doing it the wrong time, in the wrong way, with the wrong people. [00:21:47.905 – 00:21:51.335] And the instant we do so, we create pain and suffering for others. [00:21:51.335 – 00:21:56.315] They in turn retaliate against us, which creates pain and suffering for us. [00:21:56.315 – 00:22:00.995] Yeah, it's plain little life run on self-will can hardly ever be a success. [00:22:00.995 – 00:22:11.015] The fulfillment of these things are so pleasurable that all human beings from time to time will overdo in one or more of these areas [00:22:11.015 – 00:22:13.125] and create pain and suffering for others.

[00:22:13.125 – 00:22:17.227] If you'll notice on that little chart, there's a circle called self. [00:22:17.227 – 00:22:22.447] That's where self-will comes from, from these three basic instincts of life. [00:22:22.447 – 00:22:29.187] You also notice coming out of the self circle, there's one called wrongs, which is another word we need to look at. [00:22:29.187 – 00:22:36.187] Somewhere we got the idea that wrongs meant a list of dirty, filthy, nasty items. [00:22:36.187 – 00:22:41.707] But if you go to the dictionary and look it up, you'll find several definitions of it. [00:22:41.707 – 00:22:47.667] One definition of the word wrong is incorrect judgment of other people. [00:22:47.667 – 00:22:51.987] A little later on, we're gonna find out that's exactly what a resentment is.

[00:22:51.987 – 00:22:56.187] Another definition of the word wrong is incorrect believing. [00:22:56.187 – 00:22:59.387] A little later on, we're gonna find out that's what most of our fears are. [00:22:59.387 – 00:23:05.587] Another definition of the word wrong are the harms and the hurts that we do to other people. [00:23:05.587 – 00:23:15.727] Now, it's easy to spot a selfish, self-centered human being, one who's running on self-will, not running on God's will. [00:23:15.727 – 00:23:19.387] A selfish, self-centered human being's always madder than hell. [00:23:19.387 – 00:23:21.627] Damn him. [00:23:21.627 – 00:23:22.287] Damn her.

[00:23:22.287 – 00:23:24.167] By God, I'll show them. [00:23:24.167 – 00:23:26.087] They're not gonna treat me that way. [00:23:26.087 – 00:23:29.257] Blahdy, blahdy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. [00:23:29.257 – 00:23:33.647] A selfish, self-centered human being's always scared to death. [00:23:33.647 – 00:23:35.767] Can't depend on God. [00:23:35.767 – 00:23:36.757] Mm. [00:23:36.757 – 00:23:46.647] Can't depend on other people, and if we're an alcoholic reaching the end of the road, we can't depend on ourselves any longer, and we're running absolutely scared to death all the time.

[00:23:46.647 – 00:23:56.087] Selfish, self-centered human being, in order to fulfill the basic instincts of life, are always overdoing and creating harms and hurts for others. [00:23:56.087 – 00:23:59.967] Then we gotta be scared to death of what they're gonna do when they catch us. [00:23:59.967 – 00:24:09.767] And even if they don't catch us, if God dwells within each of us, we know the difference between right and wrong, and guilt and remorse associated with those things begin to eat us up. [00:24:09.767 – 00:24:20.327] Now, a person whose mind is filled with resentment, a person whose mind is filled with fear, a person whose mind is filled with guilt and remorse [00:24:20.327 – 00:24:30.407] does not feel good, and eventually, searching for a way to feel better, we begin to think about the sense of ease and comfort that comes at once by taking a couple [00:24:30.407 – 00:24:31.007] of drinks. [00:24:31.007 – 00:24:35.017] Next thing you know, we believe we can drink, and we end up drunk all over again.

[00:24:35.017 – 00:24:45.027] So at the very least, we're gonna have to do something about this selfish, self-centered human being, and it seems the way, the only way you can do anything about that is [00:24:45.027 – 00:24:52.327] through God's help because God made self-will, and only God has the power to overcome that. [00:24:52.327 – 00:25:02.587] At the very least, we're gonna have to do something about these resentments and these fears and these guilt and remorse in order to find the peace of mind, serenity, and happiness for good long-term [00:25:02.587 – 00:25:03.307] sobriety. [00:25:03.307 – 00:25:13.547] You know, if every human being in the world today could fulfill these three basic instincts at the level that God intends, [00:25:13.547 – 00:25:15.567] there would be no conflict on Earth today. [00:25:15.567 – 00:25:18.947] But all human beings have self-will.

[00:25:18.947 – 00:25:28.387] All human beings from time to time will overdo in one or more areas, creating conflict for others and for themselves. [00:25:28.387 – 00:25:29.567] I never knew that. [00:25:29.567 – 00:25:31.967] I just knew I was always in trouble. [00:25:31.967 – 00:25:34.887] I just knew I was always madder than hell. [00:25:34.887 – 00:25:37.407] I just knew I was always scared to death. [00:25:37.407 – 00:25:40.867] I knew guilt and remorse was eating me up, but I didn't know where it came from. [00:25:40.867 – 00:25:41.767] Mm.

[00:25:41.767 – 00:25:46.227] See, they gave me the rules, but they never taught me how to play the game. [00:25:46.227 – 00:25:56.227] AA's taught me how to play the game, and now that I know how to play the game, I don't break the rules anymore, and I don't hurt other people, and I'm not scared to death, [00:25:56.227 – 00:25:59.027] and I'm not filled with guilt and remorse. [00:25:59.027 – 00:26:06.807] This is the greatest information I have ever seen about what makes me tick and what causes me to do the things that I do. [00:26:06.807 – 00:26:07.107] Joe? [00:26:07.107 – 00:26:14.327] Page 62, it said, "Whatever our protestations are, m- most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, and our self-pity. [00:26:14.327 – 00:26:18.927] And it is not that I thought too well of myself or that I thought too little of myself.

[00:26:18.927 – 00:26:22.787] It is that I thought of myself only." That was my problem. [00:26:22.787 – 00:26:33.187] So it said, "Selfishness and self-centeredness, that we think, is the root of our troubles, and we're driven by a hundred forms of fear or self-delusion, self-seeking, self-pity. [00:26:33.187 – 00:26:35.587] We step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. [00:26:35.587 – 00:26:45.607] Sometimes they hurt us seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later put us in [00:26:45.607 – 00:26:49.327] a position to be hurt." You know, alcoholism, I, self, and me. [00:26:49.327 – 00:26:59.407] See, if you don't have a God in your life, and I didn't, there's only one thing left to live by, and that's the, the satisfaction of these basic instincts of life, and I tried to live [00:26:59.407 – 00:27:05.327] my life based upon those satisfaction of those basic instincts, and I overdid in many, many of those areas.

[00:27:05.327 – 00:27:09.607] Said, "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. [00:27:09.607 – 00:27:18.047] They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic's the extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. [00:27:18.047 – 00:27:21.057] Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. [00:27:21.057 – 00:27:26.587] We must or it kills us, and God makes that possible." Can't heal a sick mind with a sick mind. [00:27:26.587 – 00:27:28.207] Only God makes that possible. [00:27:28.207 – 00:27:33.507] "And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of his, getting rid of self without His aid. [00:27:33.507 – 00:27:40.487] Many of us have had moral and philosophical conviction galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would like to.

[00:27:40.487 – 00:27:45.407] Neither we could, could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. [00:27:45.407 – 00:27:49.747] We had to have God's help." Well, this is the how and why of it. [00:27:49.747 – 00:27:58.127] See, He told us how it works, then He told us why it won't work because of selfishness and self-centeredness, and now He's gonna tell us how it really works. [00:27:58.127 – 00:28:00.527] Well, this is the how and why of it. [00:28:00.527 – 00:28:02.147] Tells us what to do first. [00:28:02.147 – 00:28:05.067] First of all, we had to q- quit playing God. [00:28:05.067 – 00:28:05.947] It didn't work.

[00:28:05.947 – 00:28:11.327] Everything I read leads me to believe this is a God-directed world. [00:28:11.327 – 00:28:21.767] Now, if it is a God-directed world, then those of us who have been self-directed and those of us who tried to direct everything and everybody out, around [00:28:21.767 – 00:28:25.003] us- We've been trying to do God's job for Him. [00:28:25.003 – 00:28:26.703] We're not God. [00:28:26.703 – 00:28:35.023] We just been playing at being God, and the book says we're gonna have to quit doing that if we want any peace of mind, serenity, and happiness in the future. [00:28:35.023 – 00:28:43.903] I think one of the great mistakes I see today in AA is people trying to force themselves to be better. [00:28:43.903 – 00:28:44.543] Hmm.

[00:28:44.543 – 00:28:47.763] And self-will cannot overcome self-will. [00:28:47.763 – 00:28:48.793] Mm-hmm. [00:28:48.793 – 00:28:50.843] Only God can overcome self-will. [00:28:50.843 – 00:29:01.203] So if we want any peace of mind, serenity, and happiness, it looks like we're gonna have to turn to God and let Him be the director, let Him do His job, [00:29:01.203 – 00:29:02.743] which is direction. [00:29:02.743 – 00:29:04.463] Next, next direction. [00:29:04.463 – 00:29:09.703] Next, we decided that hereafter in this realm of life, God was going to be our director.

[00:29:09.703 – 00:29:12.683] Not our suggestor, our director. [00:29:12.683 – 00:29:14.503] He's got His word back now. [00:29:14.503 – 00:29:16.063] From here on, it'll be directions. [00:29:16.063 – 00:29:17.393] Yes. [00:29:17.393 – 00:29:19.423] Said, "He is the principal, and we are His agents. [00:29:19.423 – 00:29:29.443] He is the Father, and we are His children." He said, "Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we would pass to freedom." And what [00:29:29.443 – 00:29:31.083] is that idea, this concept?

[00:29:31.083 – 00:29:33.443] That He is the principal, and we are His agents. [00:29:33.443 – 00:29:35.463] He's the Father, and we're His children. [00:29:35.463 – 00:29:36.503] He's the boss. [00:29:36.503 – 00:29:37.373] I work for Him. [00:29:37.373 – 00:29:37.833] Mm-hmm. [00:29:37.833 – 00:29:43.543] Now, when I first got into this area of the, of the third step, I used God like you would an errand boy. [00:29:43.543 – 00:29:49.563] I said, "God, please help me to stay sober, and by the way, while you're at it, help Him get my wife back." Which one?

[00:29:49.563 – 00:29:51.143] Um, the, the second one. [00:29:51.143 – 00:29:52.343] I didn't want that first one back. [00:29:52.343 – 00:29:56.383] That first one didn't drink. [00:29:56.383 – 00:29:57.443] She was mean and ugly. [00:29:57.443 – 00:29:57.783] Ooh. [00:29:57.783 – 00:30:00.823] I liked the one that drank. [00:30:00.823 – 00:30:03.603] Where was I, Charlie?

[00:30:03.603 – 00:30:06.293] God, get me a job. [00:30:06.293 – 00:30:06.663] Oh, yeah. [00:30:06.663 – 00:30:09.703] God, get me a job, and by the way, pick up a little extra money for me. [00:30:09.703 – 00:30:10.383] I need some money. [00:30:10.383 – 00:30:13.723] I used God like you would an errand boy, sent Him out like that. [00:30:13.723 – 00:30:22.883] And after I got sober, I got to reading in that other book, that other big, big book, and in front of that book, there's a story about, they said He, He worked for six days, and then He rested. [00:30:22.883 – 00:30:26.223] Now, to my knowledge, He didn't have to go back to work anymore.

[00:30:26.223 – 00:30:31.122] So it looked like there was going be work being done around here, it's gonna be me doing the work. [00:30:31.122 – 00:30:33.483] Said, "He's the principal. [00:30:33.483 – 00:30:34.463] We're the agents. [00:30:34.463 – 00:30:35.663] He's the Father. [00:30:35.663 – 00:30:36.863] We're the children. [00:30:36.863 – 00:30:38.083] He's the boss. [00:30:38.083 – 00:30:39.763] I'm the employer.

[00:30:39.763 – 00:30:49.883] Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we pass to freedom." Now he's referring again to that wonderfully effective spiritual [00:30:49.883 – 00:30:50.503] structure. [00:30:50.503 – 00:30:53.283] Step one, willingness, was the foundation. [00:30:53.283 – 00:30:56.152] Step two, believing, was the cornerstone. [00:30:56.152 – 00:31:06.303] Now he tells us what we're building, a triumphant arch through which we're gonna pass to freedom, and he said the keystone of that arch is a simple little idea, [00:31:06.303 – 00:31:08.963] that we're gonna let God be the director. [00:31:08.963 – 00:31:19.263] You know, in the old, old days when they built arches, the stones were all stacked loosely without mortar, and they began to lean together,

[00:31:19.263 – 00:31:25.683] and there was a s- center stone up here called the keystone, and if it was cut right, it would support the entire arch. [00:31:25.683 – 00:31:29.403] But if it wasn't, it would slip out, and the arch would collapse. [00:31:29.403 – 00:31:38.523] Well, the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we're gonna pass to freedom is this simple little idea, that we're gonna let God be the director. [00:31:38.523 – 00:31:48.723] Now, for most of us, that's the first time we've ever had that idea, or if we once had it as children, we lost it somewhere, and instead [00:31:48.723 – 00:31:54.523] of being, letting God be the director, we were the director 'cause we told God what we wanted. [00:31:54.523 – 00:31:56.003] God, do this. [00:31:56.003 – 00:31:56.723] God, do that.

[00:31:56.723 – 00:31:57.453] God, give me this. [00:31:57.453 – 00:31:58.203] God, give me that. [00:31:58.203 – 00:32:00.303] God, if you'll do that for me, I'll do that for you. [00:32:00.303 – 00:32:03.583] And not only did we direct God, we directed everybody around us. [00:32:03.583 – 00:32:05.743] Are we gonna quit doing that? [00:32:05.743 – 00:32:08.913] We're gonna let God be the boss from this day on. [00:32:08.913 – 00:32:13.283] Now, that is a radical idea for people like us.

[00:32:13.283 – 00:32:16.563] This is the decision that we're making.