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Source: 1985 Montreal International Convention – Multi Speakers – BIG BOOK MARATHON Big Book Marathon 2 – RS 06323.mp3 File: 1985-montreal-international-convention-multi-speakers-big-book-marathon-big-book-marathon-2-rs-06323.mp3 Duration: 01:31:40
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We'll start as we did a while ago with a few moments of silent meditation, followed by the serenity prayer by those who wish to join me. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. We might have just a moment of silent gratitude for the AA recoveries over the past 50 years and for Bill and Bob and the first 100. Would you join me in that in just a moment?
Okay. There may be some here who are not familiar with our tradition of personal anonymity at the public level. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and films. Thus we respectfully ask that no AA speaker or indeed any AA member be identified by full name or photograph in published or broadcast accounts of our meetings.
The assurance of anonymity is essential in our effort to help other problem drinkers who may wish to share our recovery program with us. Our tradition of anonymity reminds us that AA principles come before personalities. Tapes of this meeting will be available at the tape sales booth in the convention center, also of all of these sessions we'll have. Now we'll have the preamble. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution. It does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Again, we are having these Big Book Marathon sessions. There are going to be a total of eight of them. This will be number two. With the idea that we hopefully can get people interested in the use of the book, the use to the idea that the Big Book is written in a certain sequence to convey certain ideas, perhaps along the line of the first part of the book deals with the problem, and then the solution, and then how we find the solution.
And if we kind of listen for that as our next speaker talks, I believe we might be able to see where the book is actually written in that particular sequence. The fellow I am going to introduce to you I met years ago down in Pompano Beach at a Big Book seminar. I think he is one of the most well-versed people I know of on the Big Book. The people we have selected for this thing, the presenters, represent all different parts of the United States or Canada.
And thank God we have people like Pinky. Pinky will be talking about the history of the book and how it got started and the main purposes and etc. I am sure you are going to enjoy Pinky as much as I do. Pinky Harris. Just a little moment to gain a little composure, I think. My name is Pinky and I am an alcoholic. And this is kind of a rough chore to me because any of you were in here in this first session and listened to Charlie, and then I have got to follow that act. I don't know just exactly how it is all going to work out, but all I can do is do my best.
And I have been talking to the man upstairs, and a few people here have been talking to the man upstairs, and things like that, so I presume it is going to go all right. I think what Charlie is saying, what we are trying to do with the big book is present a few ideas, get people back into the big book to begin with, and initially get some people into the big book. Because as we travel around the country and look at different meetings here and there, we often find that there are a lot of people and a lot of meetings.
I don't know who is at fault, but you find a lot of meetings that these things seem to have been watered down and drifted considerably from what it originally was like. And it is a shame that it is that way. It is a shame as a result of big book seminars, big book meetings, and things like this, but we will eventually get back onto the right track, and we will all be able to share and enjoy the type of sobriety that was presented by the first hundred members.
[00:05:05]
I like to refer firstly to what it does say in the forward to the first edition of the big book. I like this, and I will refer to certain things here. It says, We of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. And as you look through the book, you are going to find terminology like concisely and clear-cut and all of these things.
Those words don't leave a heck of a lot of room for doubt. It means that the things that are in the big book are pertinent and are essential, and they are important. Now, to begin with, of any study of the big book, I don't think anybody is under the impression that any particular one individual invented Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't think it happened that way. Alcoholics Anonymous came to be as a result of a series of events that happened over a period of time.
And so therefore, as we look at these series of events, we know there are a lot of people involved, and unfortunately the time just wouldn't even begin to permit to mention the names of many of them. But I think we should look back to the early 30s when a gentleman from up in Vermont in the States having a considerable problem with alcoholism was sent over to Europe to see a Dr. Carl Jung, a noted doctor over there, and being treated by Dr. Carl Jung.
And after a period of time, this fellow's name is Roland, and after a period of time Dr. Jung called Roland in and he pointed out to him basically the idea that, in his impression, the disease that he had or the illness that he had was beyond the realm of medical science at that particular time, and he was going to discharge him and just let him go. So Roland had said to him, he said, well, is there no hope?
And Dr. Jung said, no, none. But then he added a little statement after that, and I think this other little statement is very, very important in the realm of Alcoholics Anonymous, because he said, but there have been known some cases where people have been able to recover from their problem by a transformation of the spirit. And if we remember that comment and look at it, we're going to find that in the, as we go throughout the rest of our sequence of things that happen, that's been very important because basically, if we want to think of it, that was the basis of the solution to our problem of alcoholism.
And that came a long while back. Now, Roland went back over to the United States and he associated with the Oxford groups, and over a period of time, with the association that he had there, he did become sober. And while the Oxford groups, as most people know, were a sort of a Christian reform movement and they were preaching certain ideals that they had, absolute honesty, absolute unselfishness, absolute purity, absolute love, and things like that.
And it was through the help of this program that Roland obtained his sobriety. Then he ran into another boyhood friend of his from up country someplace, a guy by the name of Eby. And Eby was a well-known drunk and he had gone through much the same practice. He had been unable to recover from his alcoholism. But when he got a hold of Roland, Roland sat down and explained to him what the idea was and the basic idea of this spiritual change or this transformation of the spirit and impressed on him the ideals that they were using in the Oxford groups at that time, then Eby too was able to obtain sobriety.
And from there on in now, Eby, he was a little bit later, Eby was to come in contact with a gentleman who has been very, very important to us because that's our co-founder, Bill Wilson. And that didn't happen until a little later state of time. That happened a year or so later. And in this here first period of time preceding that, back about probably 1933, that Bill Wilson was having a great deal of problem with alcoholism and then he tried all the treatments and everything.
And through a friend of his, a relative of his, Dr. Leonard Strong, he got into Towns Hospital in New York. And as he was coming out of the sort of a blackout that he was having, as the story goes, that he saw this little doctor sitting beside the end of the bed, gray-haired gentleman. He was nice. And he somehow knew as he looked at this doctor and the doctor started to talk to him, he said, this fellow has something that I can understand.
He has something to give me, something to offer me. So as he sat there and he listened, Dr. Silkworth impressed upon Bill an idea that he had had with his treatment of alcoholics and his dealings with alcoholics. See, prior to Dr. Silkworth, nobody really knew what this problem was. Nobody knew really how to handle it or treat it or anything like that.
[00:10:01]
So when Dr. Silkworth sat there and he started explaining to Bill that the alcoholism that they had sort of manifested itself by an obsession of the mind, which came first, you know, because you start thinking and your thinking gets under the idea. You sit there and watch these long cool ones on TV and things like that. You're not careful. You get the obsession of wanting to have one. And he explained that idea, the thought that precedes every other thought or just the obsession, the idea that overcomes other ideas.
And this is the obsession of the mind. He explained that point to Bill. And then he pointed out to Bill that once you take that first drink, something else happens. There's an allergy of the body that results in a phenomenon of craving. And once you take that there first drink, you will crave another and another and another. And so Dr. Silkworth explained this here idea to Bill. And when Bill was sitting there listening to Dr. Silkworth explaining these things to him, he thought for the moment, he said, my gosh, here's somebody explaining to my illness as something that's quite legitimate.
See, prior to this, everybody was looking at the problem of alcoholism being sort of a moral thing of weakness of the will and all of these sorts of things, quite a number of things, but it really was not that way. So when he described this here to Bill Wilson, and Bill got the idea that here is a legitimate illness over which I really do not at this time have any control. And when he understood what Dr. Silkworth was telling him, how the problem was that obsession of the mind and the allergy of the body, Bill sat there and he felt now that he knew the answer to this thing.
He knew what the problem was. But that wasn't sufficient. And that was sometime in 1933. About a year later approximately, and these dates that I quote, remember I'm not quoting exact dates or anything else like that, so I hope nobody takes them as verbatim right to the minute or anything like that. But on about sometime in the summer of 1934, Bill had been doing a lot of the drinking. He'd gone out and he couldn't get a hold of this thing.
He knew what the problem was, the basic problem, but he couldn't get a hold of an answer. So he continued to drink. And was on a second trip to the town's hospital in 1934, under the treatment of Dr. Silkworth again. And this is when Dr. Silkworth was having a talk with Lois. And he was explaining to Lois that as far as Bill was concerned, it was hopeless. He said, for his own protection, I think we should probably put him in the hospital and protect him from this thing, protect him from himself, and give him a chance.
Because his body was all gone, he'd had liver problems, he'd had this, he'd had that, he had the other thing. In other words, Dr. Silkworth was pointing out the incurable aspect of this thing, because at that time nobody knew. And he had thought with Bill, Dr. Silkworth had thought once he explained this to Bill, that perhaps Bill would be able to affect a recovery or whatever. But it didn't happen that way.
So Bill, although they didn't hospitalize him permanently, and Bill went out and started to drink again. Well then, on Armistice Day that same year, Bill was out on a bender. And it was during this particular drunk that he ran into Ebbie. And Ebbie was an old school friend of Bill's. So what happened here, he got talking to Ebbie, and Ebbie, knowing that Bill had called on him, and when he came up to the door of Bill's house and he walked in, and Bill looked up and he was expecting somebody could come in and share the bottle of gin he had sitting on the kitchen table and everything like that.
But when he looked up and saw Ebbie come in the door, and here was Ebbie beaming and looking so, so good and everything, and Bill looked up and he said, My God, what's happened to you? And Ebbie says, I've got religion. And so Bill, as the story goes, looked up and said, Oh God, not an alcoholic crackpot, now a religious crackpot. So he sat and he listened to Ebbie explain a certain number of things to him.
And what Ebbie was telling him, too, was the same things that Roland had explained to him, the same things that he had come to understand by his association with the Oxford groups, the idea that there was a planned program of action there, part of which necessitated turning your worldly life or your idea over to power-graded yourself, or things like that. And as he explained this here, and you see Bill already had the problem explained to him from Dr. Silkworth.
Now he started picking up on the idea of the solution, because here he's getting the solution was handed down from Dr. Young to Roland to Ebbie and fitted in with the program of action, planned program of action of the Oxford groups. So what Charlie was mentioning earlier, and what we're trying to do here is explain the three pertinent ideas here. First the solution, or the problem at least, then the solution, and then the program of recovery, the planned program of action.
And at this particular time then, in this particular document, listening to Ebbie talk, Again, listening to Abby talk, Bill knew that there were three things that were necessary
[00:15:02]
for him to recover from the alcoholism. He knew the problem as a disease, and it is a disease concept that has been accepted, that allergy of the body coupled with the mental obsession, and he knew the solution, the power greater than themselves, which could keep him from that first drink, and then following the planned sixth step at that time, program of action of the aftergrowth. And all of these things put together would result in the spiritual transformation necessary to recover from alcoholism.
Now you would think possibly that with all that basic knowledge handed to him, that Bill would be able to control this thing, but it didn't happen that way. Although Bill really respected and liked the idea of what he saw in Abby, the idea of, now here's this guy walking in, and the last time he sees him, he's a real rolling drunk, and here he walks in, he looks so good, he's all stuffed up and everything else like that.
And even though Bill realized that, and he wanted what he saw in Abby, he just could not come to understand and accept the God that Abby had talked about. So Bill went out and continued to drink, and then he was returned to town's hospital again. And Abby knew that he was in town's hospital, so Abby went over to visit him again. And so he sat there talking to Bill, and when Bill looked at him, he said, just exactly what is this thing that you've got?
How do you get this thing to work for you? And they sat and they talked. So Abby sat down with Bill, and they went through again the planned program of action of the Oxford groups, and Abby explained the spirituality of the thing as well. So as a result of that, just after Abby had left, and the story is in several of our AA books, Dr. Bob and the big book, and I'll also pass it on, but the story that happened there is in these books, where Bill then fell down on his knees and he said, if there is a God, show yourself now.
And the way he explains it was, there was a big flash of light, and there was a clear air breeze flowing through there, and suddenly everything changed. And Bill, as a result of that, that was Bill's last drink, that was December 11, 1934. So Bill did get a look at that, and then he talked to Dr. Silkworth, and Dr. Silkworth assured him that he wasn't hallucinating or anything, that he had a hold of something he should hold on to.
So Bill proceeded to go on from there. When Bill then left Towns Hospital, he went back into downtown New York, he started going around and he was so impressed with this spiritual experience that he had, that he went around and he was wandering up and down the streets and in the Oxford groups and into the bars and every place. Anybody that he could get, that he could persuade to listen for a few minutes, he was sitting there and he was pounding away about this vital spiritual experience and turning your will over to God and all of this sort of thing.
But he just went on like that for quite some time, and actually what happened was nothing. He couldn't get any of these people to listen long. Oh, they'd listen, some of them, and then some of them would say, oh my God, here he comes again, and they'd take off in the opposite direction and things like that. You know, alcoholics don't want to listen to too much at the beginning until you can persuade them.
My buddy Ed back there's got a table leg behind his door, and that's his persuader, and maybe we should all have something like that. But the drunks didn't want to listen to Bill at all, so he went and he was talking to Dr. Silkworth and he explained to him, he said, well, why won't they listen? Why can't I get anybody to take up on this thing? So Dr. Silkworth sat down and talked to him, and he said, well, you know, maybe you should stop preaching at them.
He said, maybe you should get away from this idea of this spiritual experience and show them the preliminaries first. Explain to them the concept of the illness as an obsession of the mind. Point out to them the fact that there's something that they have no control over at this particular time. Point out to them the fact that once they take that first drink that their body craves another and another and another.
And then he said, when you get them convinced and get their ideas along that vein, then you can start working on the spirituality part of the program. So Bill thought of that, and he looked that over, and it wasn't long after that that he got an opportunity to put this little plan into action, because Bill was over in Akron and he was on a sort of a business trip of sorts, and they were trying to do some things there.
And the trip fell through, or the business fell through, and Bill found himself wandering up and down in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel. And he was down at the end of the lobby that was close to the bar, and he heard all the camaraderie and everything going on. There's the singing and the jostling and the voices, and he could just sense that there was something there.
[00:20:01]
And he was almost to go in there just for the companionship. I wonder how often some people have done that, just for the companionship, you know? So he was going to go into the bar and just enjoy a little bit of that companionship, and then something said to him, he said, no, what you really need is something, is to find another alcoholic to talk to. Maybe you could sit down and talk to another alcoholic.
So what Bill did, he went down, there was a church directory at the other end of the bar, and just arbitrarily he picked up a name on that book. And the name, the gentleman he called, the minister that he called off of that board, said, yes, I know somebody I can get in touch with. And so he put Bill in touch with Henrietta Sieberling. So Henrietta then, when Bill made contact with her, and she said, oh yes, I know somebody.
And she was referring, of course, to Dr. Bob. Dr. Bob had been going to the Oxford groups, which Henrietta belonged to, and this other minister belonged to. And Henrietta had been going there as well. And she pointed out the state that Dr. Bob was in. He was a physician and he was losing his business. Everything was going to pot because of his drinking and everything else like that. So she was making arrangements for Bill to go over and talk to Dr. Bob.
But it happened to be, that was around Mother's Day in 1935, and Bill went over and explained the situation. It was always Dr. Bob's plan on Mother's Day to bring home a potted plant for his wife, Anne. So when they got in touch with Anne and asked her about Bill coming over to talk to Bob that evening, and she said, well, unfortunately he can't. And so Henrietta said, why? Well, she said, the potted plant's sitting on the table and Bob's potted underneath the table.
So that's it. So anyway, they did make an arrangement for Bill to go and see Dr. Bob. So Dr. Bob, of course, being a doctor, you know, and even though he was having a problem with alcoholism, he said, well, okay, so I've listened to all these guys and I've read all these books and I've done all these things, he said, but he said, I'll give him 15 minutes or so. So when Bill got in there and started to talk to him, now sitting down and talking to Dr.
Bob, that they came, the idea was becoming pretty clear. Dr. Bob listened to him and he said, hey, this guy knows something. And he sat there and he did sit there and listen to Bill talking about the alcoholism. And Bill, when Bill was sitting there explaining to Dr. Bob this idea of the alcoholism as an illness, the idea that there was the obsession of the mind, the idea that the craving was there and everything like that, and Bob listened to this.
And you know, it was kind of strange to him because here's this year old stock analyst from the streets of New York coming out to talk to him and they're putting this thing together. But Bob said he just sensed that this guy knew something and had something that he could use. So he sat there and he listened. And when they got done talking, they talked for several hours. And when they got done talking, Bob now understood what Bill had told him.
He had explained the problem as he had heard it from Dr. Silkworth. And then he had gone on and he had explained the solution as he had picked up through Ebby and had passed on down. And then he explained to Bob the planned program of action. Bob knew about that at first because he knew more about the Oxford groups than Bill did, really. But when he sat there and they put these things together and they talked about it and they worked on this thing, then Dr. Bob also, he went through the actual spiritual change that was necessary.
And although he did take a drink a little bit later because he went away to a medical convention and he got all boiled up there and he came back. But when he came back, he did one thing. He had an operation to perform and they managed to get him through performing this operation. But after, they were all sitting on pins and needles to wonder how things had gone, where he was and everything like that.
And what Dr. Bob had done, after he got done with the operation and he took off and he headed uptown and going around, he was talking to all the people, he was making amends. He was doing all the things that we have to do in our complete 12-step program of recovery. So he did all those things and it was a great relief to everybody when Dr. Bob appeared back on the scene. He wasn't out on another bender.
He was sober and he walked in and he pointed out that from then on he was not going to drink again and he never did. So that basically is that part of the history of the, I don't explain it as well as Charlie does and I don't intend to and I wasn't explaining it in the same depth. But now the two people together, Dr. Bob and Bill, they knew one thing. They knew of all of these aspects of the disease of alcoholism and the recovery, but they also recognized another certain point.
They recognized that they helped themselves by talking to each other. And this to this day is one of the things that our program in Alcoholics Anonymous is
[00:25:05]
the benefit of one alcoholic talking to another. It was between these things that they were doing at that particular time. So they decided, well, they needed to find somebody else to talk to. So they phoned the hospital, the Akron Hospital, and they found out there was a drunken heir that had been really raising the roof and beating up on the nurses and doing all of these different things, a guy by the name of Bill.
And so they asked his permission to go and talk to him and they said yes. And so they went over and talked to Bill. And this other Bill fellow, he was sat there and when they sat down they explained to him the illness, the solution, and everything. Then Bill sat and listened to them. He could understand what they were telling him. When they explained about the obsession and the craving, he could understand that.
And then when they started into talking about the rest of the thing, the spiritual transformation and an applied program of action, he could understand that. So they talked to him for a while and then they left and they came back in a couple of days and Bill's wife was there and he pointed out to his wife, these are the guys that I was talking to you about, these are the guys that know how it's done, and he gathered up his clothes and he left the hospital and he never took another drink.
So now it's working out very well because now we have three men sober, each one of them practicing the program or as we put it these days. But we had those three people now and so shortly after that Bill had left Dr. Bob and the other Bill in Akron and he headed back to New York. He didn't realize perhaps at that particular moment, but the first AA group was born in that particular time. So when Bill got back to New York and he started working with the drunks again in New York, then he started applying it the same way as he'd applied it with Dr. Bob and this other Bill D. And he started talking to the people about the problem, he started talking to them about the solution, he started explaining this program of action.
And very shortly some people started getting sober. There was Hank P., there was Fitz, and then others started coming in and pretty soon they had another group going in New York. Then there was another group started shoving in Cleveland around that time. Going on a little bit further, in 1937 Bill was going back to Akron and he was visiting with Dr. Bob and they sat down to review just exactly what had happened and all the things that had happened up to that date.
And they looked back and they realized that they had so many people in the groups in Akron that were staying sober. They had these people in New York who were staying sober and he said these people in Cleveland that were staying sober. And they counted heads amongst these three groups and they thought there was probably about 40 people. And so the first time they realized their thought in their own minds that hey, now we've got the problem.
It was that now we really have the answer to this thing, we can do this thing. And so they decided to call a meeting and the meeting was to be called in Akron and then there was a later one in New York. And at this first meeting they got sitting down to discuss what they should be doing with this thing. And of course as we read in the books it tells that oh, these people were alcoholics being what they are and they were there and they took a look and they realized what they were doing, what had happened.
They were all going to build all these rest homes, hospitals and everything else like that. They were going to have alcoholic counselors here and there and all over the place and they were going to do all these great things. And we've probably seen that in some of our own areas where every once in a while we break loose and do a lot of great things. And sometimes by the wisdom of a loving God as we've come to understand him, he guides us a little bit and he doesn't let us do all those great things.
And this is what happened there. So I was very fortunate that the idea that the only one of these ideas that came about, they voted for them, the groups voted for them, they were all set to go. They wanted to do these things, but it was very fortunate that they kind of held back a little bit and the one thing that they started to work on was the big book. And there was this growing conviction amongst the people that they had to do something to be able to get to work with these people.
And this was this idea of putting these hospitals and things together. They found the idea, they knew that somehow or another they had to have a way to try to pass this message on. They stopped and they looked at the things and they said, well, gosh, is it going to be necessary that every alcoholic all over, well, all over a few of the states of the United States or all over the United States, perhaps Canada, perhaps all over the world, is it going to be necessary that all these people have to come to Akron or New York to get the answer?
So when they thought and they looked at that and they said, well, gee, that's not going
[00:30:03]
And so they started talking about certain things. Well, how can we get this message across there? How can we start working with these people? How could we share this experience? And how could the word be spread accurately? And this is the thing that they were worried about. So they realized that they depended to spread the message and get everything working out just strictly by word of mouth and passing it on to people by word of mouth.
Well, what was said in the initial beginning and passed on by the time it got down from Akron down to California or someplace like that, there'd sure be one hell of a difference. It wouldn't even resemble anything that had happened or what they'd been trying to talk about in the first instance. So it was in this idea then and talking about these things that they decided and became the conclusion that they should write the book.
And of course, they're looking around and there were no authors as such amongst them or anything like that. And Bill was the longest one to stay sober, so they thought they'd kind of assign him the problem or the job of writing the book. And the book was something that was to combine pretty much the experience of the existing members, approximately 40 members at that time. And it was a book that should be written in such a fashion that it could substitute for the 12-step call.
In other words, it would carry the message in a concise pattern. And this is where we get the idea of the big book written in a textbook manner so that everything is in a pattern. You start at the beginning and you go step by step through the book. You don't read the first paragraph and jump up to the middle of the book someplace. You go through the book in the way it's written. And so they decided to write the book in that particular fashion.
And what the big book is written to do, it's a book that is written to convey certain ideas to us. It's written to show you, if you're a newcomer coming to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, the book is written to tell you certain things. And the first idea, it's going to tell you as a beginner where you are at this particular time. In other words, what is your problem? Where do you sit in this here ballgame?
And it shows you that. And the second thing that it's going to say is where should you be or where can you be or where you ought to be. In other words, this is the solution. And then it's going to be written in a fashion that's going to show you in a very concise, clear-cut, precise pattern how to get from point A to point B. In other words, the planned program of action. So you see, when we look at in the beginning, the problem, we're going to find the problem in the doctor's opinion and in Bill's story.
That's what those two chapters do to us. In chapters 2, 3, and 4, then we start finding out what is the solution. That's the three chapters there. What is the solution, the end of action, and more about alcoholism. And then in steps 4, 5, 6, and 7, we work on the planned program of recovery. So the book was being written in that sequence. And if we look, the actual writing of the book, how the book got its name, and all the problems that existed and everything like that are far, far beyond the time we have to talk about it here.
But you can certainly read about all those problems. It makes very interesting reading. It's very interesting history, and it's just really good. But they got the book going, and they were writing all of this thing. And then there were some of the things, well, what should be in it, and Bill's story. And the people thought, now this isn't supposed to be just a book about you. We want other things in here.
So Bill sat down, and in his own way, he started writing the book. And when the book was written, really, they sent out about 400 mimeographed copies of what they had written and went out. And Bill's story is chapter 1 in the big book. The advice of a certain person who reviewed the mimeographed copies got back to Bill and said, we're really impressed by the book. We're really going along, and we find it very, very enlightening and a really good book, reading what's there.
But do you not think the possibility that you could put something in as a preliminary chapter there by somebody, perhaps a well-known doctor, well-versed or well-known in the idea of alcoholism. And that's how come the doctor's opinion appeared before Bill's story in the book. And it's a good thing that it did, because it makes the sequence more logical. Because the doctor's opinion, of course, is telling us exactly what the problem is.
In the doctor's opinion, we find certain things. He tells us in the big book, one paragraph says that men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.
[00:35:05]
Now, I find people here and there that deny that. They say, no, I wasn't looking for the effect produced by alcohol. And then you find other people that say they just enjoyed the effect produced by alcohol. And you know, if you look at the effect, you go to a place where a lot of people drink and see the effect produced by alcohol, standing back and looking from a sober point of view. You see different people here and there.
You see them fighting. You see them arguing. You see them getting very amorous and different things like that. And this is the effect produced by alcohol. And apparently, this is what Dr. Silkworth had come upon, this idea that the men and women drink essentially because they like the effect. Some of the people that get belligerent when they drink, they like to be belligerent. I like to. I'm normally a fairly easygoing.
I do argue a bit and things like that. But if I was getting drunk, and by God, I'll tell you one thing, I may not always be right, but I was never wrong. And that's for sure. So you see, and this was the thing that prompted me to be that way. And I like that effect. This is the effect produced by alcohol. For me, it was that I was living in a situation where I was lord and master of everything. I was controlling everything.
I was off my own world, and people do that. Furthermore, as we read, as in Dr. Silkworth's description, in the doctor's opinion, he points out exactly how this obsession starts. And then he points out exactly the idea of the craving and the physical allergy. And we look at these things, and some people from the outside perhaps look at the alcoholic, and the idea of saying, well, you know, they're not too bad that they don't have more willpower.
Isn't it too bad that they do this and they do that and the other thing? But you know, once this here phenomenon of craving starts, it's just like the obsession. The obsession is an idea that overcomes all other ideas. The phenomenon of craving is something that starts. And once that craving starts, these people continue to drink. And we look at them. These people aren't drinking there to escape. They're drinking to overcome the craving.
They think that they can overcome the craving. The craving is there, and it's beyond their control, and they think they can overcome it. But you can't. Once the phenomenon of craving starts, the only thing that happens is that you go on, and you pass through the stages of a drunk, and then carry on that. And the only thing that happens then is that you are fortunate enough to get involved in the recovery portion of it.
And Bill's story now is another part of detailing the problem. Bill's story is actually our first case history. And I like the idea of where it's written, because he describes all of the things, the progression, the beginning of his drinking. He gives a little bit of that in the story. He describes the progression of his drinking, and it's part of Bill's story. It's in there about Roland talking to Ebby, and Ebby talking to Roland, and everything else like that.
And actually Bill's story is an example of a person who had the problem, and then was able to come along and affect a recovery. So his meeting with Ebby is in there. The spiritual awakening is in there. And I like what Alcoholics does for the alcoholic. And one of the important things about Bill's story is that it allows every single person that comes into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous the privilege of identifying.
And identifying is very, very, very important in our program. You have to be able to identify. And actually speaking, little or nothing can be done if you don't identify. But this is one of the benefits of Bill's story. It gives the alcoholic the opportunity to identify. Now, we see the powerlessness over alcohol, and we've gone through those first two chapters. Now we begin to see pretty much the whole picture.
But we have to go along and explain a little bit about the thing, and we get into the next chapter, which is called There is a Solution. And I really like that particular paragraph, There is a Solution, because I like what it says at the beginning of the paragraph, or probably through the first page of it, because it says, We are people who normally would not mix, but there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.
And it goes on to explain some more. But then it says, The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement that binds us, but that in itself would never have held us together if we were now joined. The tremendous fact for everyone is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out from which we can absolutely agree, and that's great for alcoholics, upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action.
Now sometimes alcoholics are known to not agree, but we have that privilege there, and we have all the facilities there to allow us to agree, to exist together. Now if you want a darn good example of people existing together,
[00:40:01]
all you've got to do is look at this particular 50th anniversary of Alcoholics Anonymous here in Montreal. Now people that are in all of these different rooms and sitting there and existing together, and all of us have joined together with a common bond, because we've all suffered from a common peril or a common problem, if you wish, and we're all here together. If you want an example of what this thing will do.
Now in the initial thing, when you come into a meeting, and there are statements being made, and really I shouldn't be making these because I'm trying to stay within the essence of the big book, but one of the first things that the book explains and emphasizes to us, and it's one of the essentials, is the fact that it's a fellowship that we have in Alcoholics Anonymous. The fellowship is absolutely necessary for identification.
It's very, very important to the newcomer coming into the program. The fact that they can walk in the door and they don't have to worry, nobody cares where you come from. If you've got two cars, three cars, whatever's sitting in your driveway, that's your business. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, what you work at, what your nationality or race, color, creed, or anything else like that.
You have that privilege of being able to enjoy the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And that's very, very essential, but it's not enough. And the big book tells us that there is something else, because the second part of the common solution is the very, very important part, and that's the vital experience, vital spiritual experience. And as a spiritual experience, there's a personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism.
And that is extremely important that we have that. If we didn't have that facility and be able to do that, then it would make it a lot more difficult for us. And further on in that particular chapter, of course, too, there are many, many questions answered, and if you were wanting to read and find out about the, have questions about this here common solution, you'll find answers to those questions in that particular chapter.
The chapter, once again, the thing does, it says, they ask how do you recover and explains how you recover. It talks about the obsession of the mind and points out that the problem of the alcoholic does center in the mind rather than in the body. And that's very, very important that we know that, because then we can apply the other principles that we have. In chapter three, more about alcoholism, and we start going here and we see more, and we keep compressing the ideas in here.
We keep emphasizing all of these ideas as we go through every single one of these chapters. We talk about this inability to control. We talk about this obsession of the mind, the state of the mind preceding the first drink, the utter inability to control or leave it alone, the complete inability to stop on the basis of self-knowledge and all of that thing. Do you ever remember, I remember quite well, the first time I came around to Alcoholics Anonymous, that was okay, I can handle it, I can do this, I don't need any help, you know, and all of this thing.
And then you go out to prove exactly that. And then you come back in, with your tail between your legs sometimes, and you say, well, how do we do it? How do we do it? Maybe you can sit there and look at yourself and go, what's the problem? Just exactly what is it you people do to recover from alcoholism? And I had to do that when I came around the second time. I had to ask my sponsor, because he used to let me go right over to the end of the rope and then he'd pull it back in and say, okay, is you going to do it my way or are you going to go out and try it again?
And he said, we learned a lesson. See, the alcoholic at certain times in his drinking has no effect of mental control. There's just nothing that you can do on your own. The self-knowledge and anything like that does absolutely no benefit to you. Your only defense has to come from a higher power. And we learn about that higher power as we go through. In chapter 2 and 3 we see the clear-cut explanation of that need for that vital experience, that vital spiritual experience.
It's really emphasized in those two chapters. Now we go on to the next chapter in the book, which is chapter 4 on we agnostics. And here we again start emphasizing again and again the fact of what is going on. We may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience or a spiritual awakening can help. Actually, if you look at chapter 4, which is our we agnostics, you're looking at really, for me at least, I don't know whether I was an agnostic or an atheist.
As a matter of fact, I didn't know what I was. But I knew that I had to have something. And when I came to the program again, the fellowship again, and started working like this, to me the chapter we agnostics was something like a spiritual kindergarten because it was teaching me. Like a Spiritual Kindergarten, because it was teaching me, right from the basic, getting from the basic idea of believing and looking at a power greater than me, regardless of
[00:45:01]
what that power was. However, once I started to get that idea in my mind, I had no difficulty transforming from the idea of changing the wording of that power to God, and it was very, very good. Now, it might be worthwhile mentioning the power greater than ourselves, and God as we understand them. These are things, again, that give each and every person in Alcoholics Anonymous the privilege of doing whatever they want to do, because you can now look at these things from your own point of view.
We're not being dogmatic. We're not giving a rigid doctrine where we say you must do this or anything like that. This allows, once again, allows the individual to pursue things, much into the front end of where they're tied. It started when you started drinking, because you're an alcoholic and have those tendencies. So when you start reading this book of Alcoholics Anonymous, start with the first of it, and if you start with the first of it and go through that, then you'll find that you've worked up to the point when you get into Chapter 5, now you're looking at Step 3, and this is Step 3.
We make this decision to turn our will on our lives, so the care of God as we understand them, and this is the basis of the spiritual life that we're going to know, the spiritual life that helps us. It's actually the first step in your recovery program. Step 1 and 2 don't do anything for your recovery, really, other than set up the basis. They set up the preliminaries, but you don't have to work at Step 1 and 2.
They're things that draw conclusions from your mind. I was parasitized over alcohol and my life is unmanageable, and then we have the next step where we get restored to sanity. So those things don't really require a lot of work, but they do uncover the idea of self, so we're there. And when we get into Step 3, Step 3 gives us the specific means by which we let God into our lives. The effectiveness of your whole program is going to depend on how effective you are in doing that.
And I hear people talk about Step 3 and they say, well, I took it. Well, that's pretty good, too. You took it. But to me, when I read what it says in Step 3 in this here big book, there's a prayer in that step, and the prayer in that step kind of indicates to me that I should be doing that and saying that prayer every day. I don't think Step 3 is the type of step where I do it and then I kind of turn back and forget it.
I don't think Step 3 is the type of a thing where I make that decision, but in order to help me carry out that decision, I do it day by day. Now you can work that according to where you want, but that's my way of looking at it. But it seems to indicate, the book seems to indicate to me that that would be the way of doing it. I don't just do it and then forget it. And actually, the prayer in that step is an indication of my constant effort to try and improve what I'm doing in the program.
In Step 4 now, we get to that. Now is when we really start getting into the nitty-gritty of the thing, and this is where I actually start to try to know myself, and that's why Step 4 is written the way it is. It gives you an inventory idea, and as Charlie was mentioning this morning, we have people that go to all sorts of other books and sources to try to learn how to do a four-step inventory, and if you follow the way it's written in there, sit down and review that and digest it a few times, and you'll find you've got a pretty clear-cut idea of what to do there.
It's just a case of getting it on paper. And the four-step, of course, is an effort of me looking at the truth about me, and it emphasizes over and over again in the book that the thing must be written. It says we list it, we put it down on paper, and things like that. So that kind of gets by the argument that people have about not listing or not writing the thing down. We do list it, we do put it down, it's very essential that we do.
Now we get into Chapter 6, and now we start getting into action. And once we sat down, like really, you know, in Step 4, as it points out in the book, you're not really doing a lot of action, you're getting there to find out exactly what is the matter with you, and in Step 5 it explains the fact that you go on to do something about what has happened to you. We review what we find in the preliminary steps, and then we start, we sit down and review these things.
We review these things with three people. First you start reviewing these things with God, and then you start reviewing these things with somebody else, another human being, and then you start facing the truth. Because sometimes, you know, it's that old story, you can fool a lot of people a lot of the time, but you can't fool yourself if you're truthful about it. The man in the glass is a good example.
Look at yourself in the glass and tell yourself these tales. That might be a good suggestion when you're taking the fifth step, with the part concerning yourself to stand there and look in the mirror and see how well you make out, and see how
[00:50:00]
you do it. But it is, and another thing that points out in the big book here is a little paragraph there or a little line there, and talking about the necessity of taking this fifth step. And it's in page 72 of the big book, and it says, the best reason first. If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. The step requires honesty, integrity, and the results are stated on page 75. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator, and we begin to have a spiritual experience.
So you see what we're doing in so many of these chapters in this big book. They're pointing out what to be expected from what is going on. And you really do find out yourself, and you find yourself as we get through all of these different things. In chapter 6 and 7, these steps require that all of the things included in the first five steps be complete. If you haven't completed everything in the first five steps, then you surely are going to maybe have problems with something else.
So we make sure that we have all of these things together, and then we become ready to have these shortcomings removed, and then we go ahead and we ask that they do be removed. And remember, you are not removing your shortcomings. God is doing that for you. You've asked him to do it. So leave him do it, but be willing to do it, and put constructive thoughts in there when you're looking at that. I think when we look through the book, and we really go through the book, I think we find certain things.
Now people oftentimes ask you, and maybe this is not for me to say, but people ask you, well, look, I'm having problems with so-and-so step. What's the answer to that? Chances are ten to one, if you're having problems with one step, you should go back a couple and start working on the others. So if you're having trouble with any of these here steps that we're talking about now in these particular chapters, chances are that you should go back and take a look at step three and have a little work with the man upstairs in that one.
Now steps eight and nine, we have a list of all the persons we have harmed. You made that list in your inventory. So don't have to do it again. You should have the darn thing. And then we can become willing to make these amendments. And in these steps we try to repair the damage that we've done over the period of time. And that's all that's about. You can complicate it if you wish. You don't have to.
And when you get through step nine, now comes one of the greatest things that's ever happened to you in your life. On pages 83 and 84 you will find a whole list of promises. And if you look at those and you stop and read them out to yourself and say, has this happened? Have I got this? Have I come to know the meaning of the word serenity? Do I know peace? And all of these things, all of these promises.
If you have completed everything the way it should have been completed up to the end of step nine, you will know the promises. You will know them. And now step ten, step ten is not simply a case of looking at problems and then making amends. That's not simply what it's about. Step ten is a growth step. And step ten in itself means that we have worked on a daily and a continuing basis all the steps up to that particular point.
And that's so, although the making amends and everything is certainly part of it because this is your daily check on yourself and you look at it from that way. And we continue, if you do continue and you work at these things in a way it tells you in the big book, you're certainly going to know a personality change that's going to be evident not only to those around you but to you as well. And on page 84 in that particular chapter there it says, we have entered the world of the spirit.
The next step is to grow in willing and understanding and effectiveness. And those are things that it tells you and helps you with. The obsession to drink has been removed, not a godsend, and the sanity has returned. These are all things that we expect and these are things that are in step ten, we get these. But remember one thing, and I hear people arguing about it, remember that we are not cured.
You are not cured of your alcoholism. You are just granted a daily reprieve contingent on your spiritual condition. So once again we are emphasizing what you should be doing is the spiritual condition. Now step 11 assumes that we have made a conscious contact with God and the writing in the book stresses the ever presence of God in the step. The emphasis that our program will help us with God's guidance.
[00:55:03]
On some pages there is some more specific information, on pages 86-87 there are specific suggestions which give you a plan of action for your day. And you know aren't we just probably the most fortunate people in the world because we have a book that tells us a plan of action for the day. You wander around in any city, town, or anywhere across the United States of America and Canada for sure. And if you start out on a busy corner and ask 50 people in a row what their object was at that moment, where are you going, what are you going to do, you probably wouldn't get very many positive answers because they are running helter-skelter all over.
But what we do in the program of Alcoholics Unknown is because what we have got in the big book, we find that we have a plan and that plan tells us what we can do and it tells us what to expect if we do it. So step 11 allows us to really be conscious of what is going on in our lives. It really is a good thing, it really puts the whole picture in action. And now we go to chapter 7 and chapter 7 of course is dealing with the 12th step and working with others.
Now the message that we carry in Alcoholics Anonymous, and some people are not clear about that either, so the message that we carry is that we have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps. If you are thankful to God that you have come to understand, then that is probably the message that you will carry. You stress the spiritual freely and some people balk at that, they don't want to talk about God, they don't want to talk about a higher power, but the book tells you that you should.
And in this chapter we also see something else. People will ask me sometimes, well how do you go about a 12th step call or how do you carry the message? It tells you right in the book. It tells you the proper way to carry the message and explains it very clearly. You talk about the nature of the illness, the problem, describe yourself as an alcoholic. Now that is what the alcoholic wants to see, he doesn't want you putting him through the mill and asking him well what did you do yesterday and how many drinks did you take and stuff like that.
That is not what he is interested in at that particular time, if he volunteers that information that is great. But really what the alcoholic wants to know is what happened to you? That makes you think that you can help me, type of a thing. So you are there as an example and if you learned your lessons well in here from the big book, you are going to pass that message on to him. Hopefully you will be able to sponsor that person some day and you will be able to take them right back to the preface in the big book and start from there the same thing as you started out.
You refer to the chapters throughout the book for example, there are always chapters throughout the whole book that tell us a lot of things. Then you talk about the solution, we simply do not stop drinking until we learn to place dependence on God. And we tell them all about the solution, how the solution worked in our life. Remind them that the recovery is dependent not on other people. You know I get annoyed sometimes when I try to sponsor somebody and they have got about four or five sponsors and they run the hill, they go to one and they didn't get the answer they wanted to hear.
They go to another one and they didn't get the answer they wanted to hear. And so they go, they work through the whole bunch of sponsors they got until they find one that agrees with them. The one that they talked to in the first one said, now look if you get off your rear end and do it this way, they would have probably had more effective results if they had listened to that sponsor. But they don't do it that way, they want a whole bunch of them so they can compare.
And in talking to the person too, we really try to help that person find themselves. And we talk about that program, the planned program of recovery. And our duty is to carry the message of the first eleven steps because that's what was given to us. And step twelve is a growth step. People don't, a lot of people don't look at it that way. But if you look at step twelve, you get a chance to go out and do a few twelve step calls and then you look at you before you started doing those few twelve step calls and see who's gained.
See who's gained. Because probably you've gained just as much as the other person. And in this here particular chapter too, it tells us something else. It tells us we are told that we will be moved into a dimension of living which we possibly do not understand, the fourth dimension of living. And that seems to confuse hell right out of people. But we are into that dimension and once you can see, you know, it's a case of being able to see the forest even though there's a whole bunch of trees in front of it.
Being able to see the clear cut picture and look at the writings on the wall. Being able to walk into an AA meeting here or any place else in the world and feel that hey, I belong, I'm part of this thing, I belong here. Being able to pick up a Part of this thing, I belong here, being able to pick up a phone and talk to somebody two or three thousand miles away, if you wish, and sometimes I should quit doing that, my phone miles get awful high, but however, but there's certain things like that,
[01:00:02]
and all of these things are part and parcel of that there fourth dimension of living that we get ourselves find in, and through all doing all of these things, going back to where we started, and when we reach the twelfth step, we're certainly in that dimension, but the whole thing depends entirely, and essentially, on these three pertinent ideas. First, that we were alcoholics, we couldn't manage our own lives, God couldn't, would if he were sought, and then, the fact is, what is the problem, what is the solution, and what is the planned program of recovery.
And that is about all you're going to hear from me, there are some microphones in the aisles there, and certainly, if anybody has any questions, or certainly if anybody has some ideas, or feel free, and if I can answer one of them, and if I can't, I'll find Charlie, he's wandering out in the hallway, and if I can't find him, I'll get Ruth, so it won't make any difference, so if anybody got any comments or any questions.
Thank you. Would you like to drop to the microphone, please, if you don't ask questions? I'm a grateful alcoholic. My name is Pete Reddy, from Philadelphia. Hi, Pete. I really liked what you had to say. I found out, in an hour and a half, a lot of things that are wrong with me by listening to what you had to say. I have major problems with 6 and 7. I skipped chapter 4 when I read the big book, because I'm an Irish Catholic, and I wasn't an agnostic, and I didn't have to read that.
Two years later, I went back and read it, and I learned a little bit about it. I got sober at a neighborhood group in southwest Philadelphia. Very much a microcosm of what you've had to say about Bill and Bob. My sponsor, his name is Bernie, was sponsored by a guy named Mike, who was sponsored by a guy named Charlie, who was sponsored by a guy named Mehdi. And from the top to the bottom, there's 8 plus, down the line, years of continuous sobriety.
Every one of those persons, including myself, never having had a drink since they came in to Alcoholics Anonymous. I got a big book the first Friday night that I was at Elmwood Young People's, a byproduct of Neighborhood. And that was given to me by someone I don't even like. But he told me to read it from the beginning. That same night, I got a sponsor, and he gave me a 12 and 12. Seven months later, I did a four-step while I was in the hospital.
And I didn't have a four-step guide, and I didn't have Hazelden literature. I had a big book and a 12 and 12. The byproduct was a damn good four-step, because I found out. Where I slipped up was on the third step. And I found that out here, by what you had to say. And I've had many of those experiences of the growth from the working in the 12th step. Even with my shortcomings, I had some ability in that area.
God-given ability, not my given ability. I go to prisons. I carry the message to the best of my ability. And I was told when I got sober at Neighborhood, that the way it's done is, the success of a 12-step call, is that I come back sober, and that I don't go alone. I'm glad to be here, grateful to be sober. Thanks. We're glad to have you, Pete. Thanks very much. Hi, Pinky. Hi. I'm a grateful alcoholic. My name is Ann Burns. I'm from Ann Arbor, Michigan.
This is a great act to try to follow. I have a couple of questions, and they both relate. It's questions about two different steps, but it's a two-fold question. One is about the third step. It's mentioned at the bottom of page 63. We will, of course, want to take this. We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual advisor.
And I was just wondering exactly what you tell your people
[01:05:06]
as far as how to take this step. Is it merely just getting down on your knees with another individual, praying that third step prayer, or is there more? And I've had women who I sponsor ask me about this. The second part of my question has to do with the fifth step. On page 74, it says those of us belonging to a religious denomination must and, of course, will want to take this with a properly appointed.
Does that must mean that we must take it? Or does that must mean that we must want to? Okay, in answer to your last question first, it says those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must and, of course, will want to go to a properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it. As we know, Alcoholics Anonymous does not dictate to anybody who they go to to do what.
However, from my experience, and this is what I should be talking to you about, is from my experience, not necessarily my opinion. From what I have found, people that do belong to a religious denomination which generally requires confession, or whatever the case may be, will, of course, want to follow the dictates of their religion. So it's a personal thing, a completely personal thing. But the majority of them feel, but…
I don't know whether I should be saying this or not. It won't hurt. It's not in the book. It won't hurt. A friend of mine who was a… a very good friend of mine who was a priest and did many fifth steps with people in AA because he was an alcoholic himself. And a member of AA himself pointed out that people came to him to take fifth steps and they found that they were just trying to use that as a substitute for the confession to tell him to go home.
So I don't take it from there. I just can't… I can't, within the bounds of what I'm limited to, express any firmer opinions on that. Now, in regard to step three, and we look at step three, made a decision to turn our will and our lives towards the care of God as we understand them. Well, we know, of course, that nothing… If you can go ahead and make all the decisions in the world, if you don't follow up on those decisions, they're just idle decisions, idle words, and everything else like that.
So what I like to point out to people, if I have someone that is… wanting some help with that third step, I would probably sit down and discuss with them, say, now, you're making this decision, are you willing to follow through at this particular time? If you're not, do some more footwork before you get on to it. But once you, as I said when I'm talking, to me at least, when I look at step three, there's a prayer there.
And while that's… what that prayer to me is doing is cementing on a day-by-day basis the decision that I have made. It has nothing to do with me making the decision, it's just emphasizing. And another thing, too, can you think of anything better than to say that thing, perhaps in the morning when you get up? Say it to your God as you understand Him, that prayer. But explain to the people that, hey, if you're ready, and that's the thing I said pertains to practically all of our steps, are you ready?
If you're not ready, don't do them. Get some more footwork in. Talk to your sponsor. Okay? Thank you. Hi, my name is Craig Schreiner. I'm an alcoholic from Akron, Ohio. Hi. First of all, I'd like to thank you. I appreciate the courage that it takes and the intelligence and the poise to stand up in here in front of all these experts and talk about the big book… the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I'm here basically as testimony that you can open that book anywhere and gain something from it. When I came into Alcoholics Anonymous at the age of 26, I made it a problem identifying with these old people. And this one person said, well, you should probably try and read this book as best you can, and we really don't know what to do with you because there aren't that many young people around here right now.
If you want to go to a meeting, I'll take you. Well, I opened up the book, started reading Bill's story, and the only thing I identified in there was when he talked about golf. I didn't know anything else, so I equated, well, let me see, I'll start playing some golf. Because it was a very vital part of my recovery and still is. So I went to one meeting a week
[01:10:00]
because I hated God, I hated you, and I hated me, and I played golf at every given opportunity, just like it said in the big book. In Bill's story, and Bill's one of the co-founders. And I kept pointing to that page that says golf, it even mentions Walter Hagen. Well, I was at a Tuesday night meeting, my home group in Akron, Ohio, and I was dry, I was somewhere around 18 months dry, and I saw this person across the room who looked as if life had really stepped on him pretty good.
And my brain kicked into gear, and I said, there's a new guy. And so I bolted across the room, and I stuck my hand out, and I said, hi, my name is Craig, I'm an alcoholic, and if you keep coming to these meetings, these people can help you. And this man who had a cigarette stuck on his lip with an ash about that long, and his coat was hanging over his arm, his tie was under, he kind of just stepped back and looked at me, and he smiled.
Well, following the steps in the big book, I was playing golf one day, alone and cheating, and there was a threesome in front of me on this par 5 hole, and I had hit a tee shot, and I was waiting to play my second shot, and this threesome was on the green. Now, for those of you who don't understand the big book and golf, normally it takes three shots to get on to a par 5. Well, these people were on the green, and I was saying to myself, you know, if I just play up, I won't try to hit the green, it's too far anyhow, I'll just play up, I'll swing easy, and I subconsciously at 20 months adopted an easy desert approach to my next shot.
And I took a 5 wood out, and I was just going to lay this ball up in front of the thing, and I just took this nice gentle swing, and I smacked this ball, and it keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and I realize in a moment it's going to hit the people on the green, and I scream, FOUR! And I saw this one person dodge, and the ball just missed him. Now, as I'm walking towards the green in my usual form of growth at 20 months dry, total humiliation, embarrassed, arrogant, pompous, haughty, self-centered, and impolite, because what I just did was, it's the most cruel and self-centered thing you can do on a golf course.
Here, I almost hit this new guy that I met at the meeting a while back, and I was ready to be thrown off the course, I was ready for any type of retaliation that they had, because I was really at fault, and this person didn't yell at me and say, I'm going to turn you into the clubhouse, that was a nice shot. And then he said, would you play with us and finish out the hole? Well, we did that, and my brain kicked into gear a second time in 20 months, and I said, hey, this is that new guy, take him to a meeting.
So I put him in the car, and I started parroting Easy Does It, and I parroted One Day at a Time, and I parroted all these things that I'd heard about in alcoholics, and all this stuff was up here, and some things that I'd read. And I was telling them that you go to these meetings, and there's men's clothes meetings, and there's open meetings, and you do this, and he was a new guy, he didn't know anything, so I was just going to keep going, and we went to this meeting, and we sat, and we listened, and then we went out to dinner.
Well, at this time, when I had a mouthful of food, it gave this new guy an opportunity to speak. And he started talking about the big book, and he started saying some things that even moi, that's the extent of my French, that even I didn't even know about. And he started talking more about alcoholism. And he said something about chapter four and an agnostic, or something like that. And then all of a sudden, my brain kicked in gear for the third time, and I said, maybe he's not new.
And so all of a sudden, I started to pursue this thought, and I started needling him, and I said, now wait a second, how long have you been in Alcoholics Anonymous? And he said, a reasonable length of time, and he brushed it off. He wanted to change his stuff. He said, tell me more about what you know about the big book, he said. And so I said, no, come on now, how long have you been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous?
You know, this is this, and I kept needling him, and I started to make a scene in this restaurant, and all this food was flying out of my mouth. And finally he said, I don't know, I don't know, maybe 16 or 17 years. And this new guy is today my sponsor. But all I wanted to share with you was the height of sickness, and that all I caught out of that was golf. That's all I caught out of that whole thing, and as a result, meeting my, almost killing my sponsor on the golf course with a golf ball, and he loves it when I tell that story, but since then, I have come to grow very fond of the big book.
I have come to grow very fond of the Big Book, and appreciate people that have the courage to stand up and say, this is what is going on. There's been an attitude that I notice at times, well, I can't speak for you, and I can't speak for you, and all this, and I say, bull.
[01:15:01]
You know, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous starts out with the word, we. And I just commend people that have the courage to stand in front of all these other people and tell them what they think is in that book. And I appreciate it. Thank you very much. Good morning. My name is Dan. I'm an alcoholic from Indianapolis. Hi, Dan. And I noticed just a few minutes ago, my good friend Phil from Indianapolis just came in. Hello, Phil.
Good to see you. I appreciated your comments, what you had to say, and I just want to make a couple of comments of my own. The Big Book is a book that is simply the Bible rewritten in a way that we can understand it. And the Big Book says some things in there very, very specifically, and I'm sure you know this, Pinky, and if we had more time, we could go into it. But the Big Book gives us very, very specific times of the experiences that we're going to have with God, how we're going to have them, and when they're going to occur.
And you made a good point, or you dwelled on the point about the obsession, which I view as being the implied insanity of Step 2. You know, it says it will return us to sanity, implying that we are insane, the alcoholic insanity. And one of the, what I think is one of the most important sentences in the entire Big Book that appears to me to be overlooked is, okay, we have this insanity, we have this obsession, when does it go away?
And the Big Book tells us exactly, Step 10, is when we are finally restored to sanity. And, you know, we dwell a lot, I think, especially newcomers, on the third step. But as you so well pointed out, all the third step really is, is the solution, but how we get to it and the action we take really begins in Step 4. And as we read the Big Book, if you read it and look for certain sentences in it, it'll tell you exactly the experience you're going to have with God and when you're going to have it.
And I know from my own experience, when I first came into the fellowship, I, like a lot of people, felt I had a very good spiritual foundation and a very good spiritual experience having taken Step 3. And I, like a lot of people, thought Step 3 was the solution for it all. That was the panacea for all of my problems. But now that I've been granted sobriety for some time and have worked the steps several times, I see now that had I stopped at Step 3 and not gone on to Step 4, like it suggests in the Big Book immediately, I would not have experienced a better understanding of all of the steps and the experiences with God that the Big Book talks about.
And I encourage everybody to continuously work the steps over and over because as you do that and look for these sentences in the Big Book about where you experience these experiences with God, you will see how all the steps tie together. They blend with each other and you understand how Step 2 affects Step 4 and how Step 4 affects Step 10 and how Step 11 refers to Step 3. And they go back and forth, back and forth. And it's a magnificent piece of literature that the more you are sober and the more you work the steps, the more you realize there's really only one book for us and that's the Big Book.
There's no other book, really, not for us. And that's my comments and thank you very much. Thank you. Hi, Pinky. I'm Bill S. from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Hi, Bill. Hi, folks. And I'd like to thank you for that talk. My question is in Chapter 5, how it works, when they said these are the steps that we took which are suggested as a program of recovery. Do you think today, did you ever hear anything what Bill W. or any of the other ones had to say about that word suggested?
And do you think that possibly today if they were to remove another word from this book, it would be suggested? Well, let me comment on that then. These steps are the steps that the first people took to achieve their sobriety. And so what we're doing here, these are not suggested steps, but they are steps that we are suggesting that you take, or at least the book is suggesting you take or I take or whatever.
Now, maybe I could be wrong. As I say, I'm not an authority on anything much, except me, and sometimes I wonder about that.
[01:20:00]
But the idea that as I look at this is the fact that these people, the first members, when Bill wrote these, these steps were actually written after the fact, as you know. And so when he wrote these steps, they were sort of a widening of the view of the six-step program of action that had prior to that. And so they're suggesting that if you want the recovery, then take these steps, do these steps. They're not telling you, suggesting the steps as a program. They're suggesting that you take these because they're the steps that they took.
If you want to follow in the path of the earlier members, the people that had gotten sobriety, the sobriety pattern that we are trying to duplicate in the big book, then we suggest that you do these steps, not the ones you get from 15 dozen different other organizations. Does that help at all? My name is Larry. I'm an alcoholic. I belong to the Salem Big Book Group in Salem, Wisconsin. And our group, we give away big books there.
Anybody that needs a big book, they get one free there. So any of you people that don't have any, you're welcome to come. We just had our 10th anniversary, and we gave away over 100 big books so far. Excellent. The thing that I wanted to comment on is when I took my fifth step with my sponsor, he said, well, what do you think you want to talk about? I says, well, the thing that's bothering me right now is I'm a thief.
He says, well, how do you know you're a thief? I says, because I steal. He says, well, why do you think you steal? I says, I don't know. He says, well, you think about it. Why do you steal? I says, well, it's easier than working. He says, well, then maybe you might not be a thief. I says, well, what would I be? He says, you might be lazy. Okay. So then he asked me, he says, why do you suppose you're lazy?
I says, hell, I don't know. I just found out I am now. So he says, well, maybe you got no nutrition. He says, have you been to a doctor since you've been on the program? I says, no. And he says, well, have you been in service? You know, he knew I was in service. He says, you don't have to join the army again to go on sick call. You know, you can go see a doctor out here. So he asked me to go see a doctor.
So I went to see a doctor, and the doctor told him what I felt like and everything. And he told me to put me on a diet and told me to take vitamins. So here I am taking vitamins, and pretty soon I'm out looking for a job, and I'm not stealing no more. So I found I had to talk to other people, you know, to find out what's wrong with me. I kind of, I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to think I was also some kind of sex maniac, a great lover, you know.
But I found after I was wet in the bed all the time, you know, that romance just kind of flows away, kind of leaves. So I talked to my sponsor about this, you know, that I got a problem with lust. He says, well, why do you think you got a problem with lust? Why do you think you got a problem with lust? I thought maybe he had a problem. So anyway, I told him that, well, I like it, you know. He says, well, maybe your problem ain't lust.
I says, well, what else could it be? He says, maybe you're selfish. I says, well, how do you figure that? He says, maybe you're seeking your own selfish pleasures. I says, well, what do you do about that? He says, you'd be unselfish. So for all of these things, you know, that I talked to my sponsor about, he also gave me some corrective measures, you know. But I had to talk to him in order to find out what's wrong with me.
[01:25:02]
I didn't know. That's why I'm in AA. Thanks a lot. Thank you very much. Yeah, we've probably room for, well, we've got one back there. We'll see if we can, if it's not long, we'll see if we can squeeze in two. Hi, I'm Peter. I'm an addict and an alcoholic. Hi, Peter. I had kind of two questions in a way. One, in reading the book Pass It On, it was my understanding that Bill Wilson wrote the Twelve and Twelve in the early 50s on his own without supervision from other people in AA in contrast to the book Alcoholics Anonymous, which he did write, but sent manuscripts to these people in Ohio and in New York and discussed with these recovering alcoholics so that it was kind of a group conscious kind of thing.
And I was wondering if my understanding was correct or if I was misinformed. That's my first question. You look at this entirely. Well, I think you're absolutely right. By the way, I'm Charlie Parmy. I'm a very grateful recovering alcoholic. Hi, Charlie. I forgot to introduce myself when we opened this meeting. Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. When he wrote the big book, of course, he had the other members looking at each chapter as he wrote it, and they suggested changes, they forced changes on him.
He didn't particularly like it. He fought with them, raised hell, but he had to accept a lot of that stuff. When we got to the 12 and 12, that was primarily Bill's book. My own personal opinion is that God wrote the big book. I don't really believe Bill had the capabilities of writing. When you've just been sober three years, and you've been a lying, conning, manipulating New York City stockbroker, you don't know a hell of a lot about spirituality.
And I think God wrote the big book, and Bill wrote the 12 and 12. But don't take that to mean that I have any preference between one over the other. I really do think the big book is our book. I think God gave it to us through Bill and Bob and the first 100 people. Okay? Does that answer that? Yeah, it definitely does. I do have a preference. I prefer the big book a lot. I liked what that other guy said.
And it was just this ironic thing where we have these step meetings where you use the 12 and 12, and all these new people come in and are exposed to, I don't know, an elaboration of the 12 steps, and it just seems like a strange thing. And I just wanted your opinion on, for newcomers, which text is, I mean, I think I know the answer, but just which text is more important that they're exposed to. Maybe the 12 and 12 is good after you've gone through the work to understand it more deeply, but it seems that the big book lays out this program clearly.
The big book is the only book that we have that gives us a set of directions on how to work the steps. Most of us try to work them off the wall. We see them on the wall, and we try to work them. But the only detailed set of instructions that we have for the working of the steps is found in the big book. Now, the 12 and 12 is a great book, but I do not find the instructions on how to work a step in the same detail that I do in the big book.
I think there's where we find our directions, and Bill originally said in the writing of the original manuscript, if you want what we have, and you're willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to follow directions. He did not say suggestions or anything else. He talked about directions. So it was really, in his mind, I believe, written to be a set of directions on how to work the steps in order to find the spiritual experience.
Thanks very much. Yes, go ahead. My name is Jean Jacques, and I'm an alcoholic. I am from Montreal. I want to express my gratitude. I always ask in my prayer, why did you discover that to the Americans? But it comes into my heart, one little story. Once I was coming back from Europe, or I was going to Europe. I don't remember. But what I remember is this, that I asked to go in the captain's workshop.
I asked to go in the Captain's, where then it was easier to go there. And I asked, and I was, when I was in the Captain's place there, I said to the Captain, I said, I love God, and after, I love you.
[01:30:00]
What I want to say this morning is this. Love God, because He gave us everything. He gave us liberty, He gave us everything. And when you, I hear speaking about the Big Book, He gave us Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, Twelve Concepts, and Twelve Promises. Lots of people don't know, Twelve Promises, they're listed, not by number, you have to read them. And that's very, I'm gratitude, I have lots of gratitude.
I have a little bit of nerve because I can't say exactly what I would wish to say. But I want to say, thank God. Thank God that all my life I went through trying to catch perfection. And in AA, God is telling me, you have everything, everything you have. You have the love. Love means you know everything. That's what the beginning of love is, to know. Know where I am, who I am, and where I'm going. And thanks very much for reminding me that the Big Book is like a diagram.
And when I want to know, pinpoint a trouble in myself or in the others, I just have to know.